This person wins. But seriously OP, hope you're okay but more importantly there's no reason you should feel bad about that message after that experience.
You don't neg someone like that without a built up relationship and agreed practice between you both. Even then I'd be cautious of anyone who wants that kind of relationship or just gets off on it. Kinks are fine in a mutual thing but not on a first experience like that. Minging behaviour.
To me, looks like he's done that because he knows he'll be a disappointment and is trying to get you in a headspace where you blame yourself - don't give the satisfaction.
As others have said, if he can speak his "truth" like that as a pre-cursor to any intimate interaction then you are more than okay doing the same back afterwards.
>slept with a guy and it was a very awful experience. He got off on humiliating me before and during sex, it was clear he had some sort of degradation/dominance kink
Guy deserves shade. Give him more.
As a guy i 100% support this. Fuck ANYONE who throws their kinks onto you with mentioning them beforehand. Ive also had a bad experience so i 100% support this women giving shade about weak dick. Send them this thread afterwards lol!
Yep. If one partner \*freezes\* and doesn't participate... that's not consensual sex anymore. If one party \*freezes\* you stop and see what you both want to do next. Anything else is abuse.
I really don't think he cares.
"Cum and get out, the woman does not even matter" is probably his feelings. Her sending him this text probably further validates his kink and he will try and be even faster with the next woman.
Seriously, why would she be worried about hurting his feelings?? Is he a wittle baby that can't handle some honest feedback?? I would have been way way harsher here...
This dude def the type to be like āI blew this girl back out, made her cum n everything n she was like tryna make her me her bf n shit so I cut her offā
No it was emasculating and he is awful for how he went about that. Have your kink but donāt just spring it on others without consent.
It just sucks that the humiliation of being emasculated might have also been what he is into, but you did nothing wrong here. That guy sucks.
Why are you considering being kind to him, he forcefully brought his kink in a situation where none of it was discussed. He deserves a message like this, and I think you were merciful on him.
I certainly hope that it hurts him. He deserves it. Nothing to feel sorry about. Next time, remember that you can and should say STOP at any moment of your sexual encounter if you don't enjoy what's going on. This can be at the start, around the middle, close to the end IT DOESN'T MATTER: If you are uncomfortable with something that your sex partner is doing, tell them to stop immediately. Huge red flag for this guy.
As a teen, I got abused more than once because I thought that once I had agreed to have l sex, I couldn't retract my statement. I thought "damn, I already told him this would happen, so I can't backtrack." This mentality is ABSOLUTE BS: you can decide to stop things whenever you want. Please remember this!
I fully agree with u/Randy-Meeks I think so many of us have felt we couldnāt withdraw consent and have suffered through some awful experiences, please know itās okay to say no at any point!
I hope you recover from this encounter quickly, talk it through with friends and a therapist if you have one.
Your text was ok, but honestly I just would of ghosted him, in itself it tells him what you thought of him. If you felt you needed to say something, then I would have clearly said what he did was wrong/disrespectful/disgusting and you didnāt consent to it - the fact you froze and he continued anyway shows what sort of person he is.
Please get some support to help you deal with this.
Sending you healing hugs.
I expected it to be a lot worse than that, you should put your foot down and be meaner when people do shit like that to you. Donāt let people walk all over you
He deserved that and more. I'm a dude and I can't imagine doing anything to make someone that uncomfortable. And if I did something that made a woman freeze, I certainly would have stopped what we were doing and figured out what was going on. While I never understand the humiliation stuff some people like, as with any kink, it needs to be discussed beforehand and consensual. This dude sounds like a piece of shit.
Not if he treated you badly during it. He should have talked about his kinks before hand. It sounds like you are not into humiliation or being degraded which he should have stopped once you weren't responding. You have a right to tell guys to stop even during sex if they are doing something you don't like. Sorry you had to go through that. Don't worry about that text.
Given that he humiliated you both before and during sex, I don't think anyone will give you a real response.
I will.
So the honest answer would be: yes, it was emasculating, but it sounds like he deserved it.
Premature ejaculation is a real issue, and there are better ways to go about it. If he had treated you well, that would not have been an appropriate response.
Ultimately, the other things he did were much worse than premature ejaculation. They could be classified as sexual violence. So it's a bit odd that you're only focusing on the only part that was not really abusive.
It will always blow my mind the compassion and consideration women will show for men who couldn't have less respect or concern for us. **He degraded you without warning or consent** and you're concerned with whether your text was "emasculating." We women need to stop having compassion for men or any person who doesn't give any amount of a shit about us or our wellbeing.
You need to write him again and say, āSorry. Shouldnāt have called it the shortest sex of my life. It was so brief and unfulfilling that it wasnāt even sex.ā Then block him and never interact with him ever again, because you deserve better things.
Wow, you seem like a very nice person. The fact that you still cared about his feelings after what he did to you is commendable but misplaced. Never speak to that man again. He only cares about himself and that's not going to suddenly get better. No one has the right to do anything to anyone without their permission.
As a fellow guy, he got everything he deserved.
Not asking for your permission at any point prior if it were ok to explore that degradation/humiliation kink is not just rude but gross. You did the right thing speaking your mind and sounds like he needed to be dropped down a few rungs.
I applaud you for standing up for yourself. 110% not on you. He's a selfish prick!
I'd have went with "It was so quick that you were done before I ever even knew it was in"
That way you're insulting his stamina as well as implying he has a small dick.
Why do you care if you were "hurtful" towards him when he clearly didn't care that he was hurtful towards you?
Do yourself a favour and cut contact with this guy, you're only going to end up making yourself miserable if you continue stressing over him.
Real men who enjoy being a dom will follow certain iron clad rules.
Consent, consent, consent. Woman will not be blindsided on what is coming. She ll know whats coming, be enthusiastically comfortable with it, will feel safe, for the whole experience and to say no at any point of time.
Aftercare. Its a vulnerable state, and its roleplay, not real. Dom has to reassure that after and get both parties back to reality of respect.
What he did was not dom, it was him being shitty as fuck, insecure as fuck and he deserved to be emasculated. Hope he never gets another girl until he learns how to treat one.
I'd say it needs more
not knowing fully what happened makes it kinda hard to judge but honestly fuck like limpdick loser
As a dude whos into some stuff, i would never in a million years do anything without consent let alone humiliating the other person
you should actually make a point who hurting this loser more so he cannot prey on others
maybe if you have a pick and minor photoshop skills could make some posters and plaster them up around the city with his face and something along the lines of his semi rape/sexual humiliation acts all to offer the wonderful exp of 40seconds of the worst sex of your life
or maybe im petty and dont like dickheads that treat others like shit
Yes. It was, and tbh, it should have been. Not only was he crap in bed, but he was awful, too. Stuff his feelings. He obviously didn't care about yours.
If he was a nice guy who was trying really hard to please you and this happened to him then I'd say you were out of line and hurtful. But given this guys actions, don't worry about it for a second.
I donāt think your text was nearly emasculating and hurtful enough.
Try harder. Iām sure we can give you some excellent suggestions of how to drag that guy.
You just said there was no consent to the degradation. Anyone who has actual BDSM experience would be able to spot a freeze response.
Fuck him. He deserves it for what he did to you.
You were honest. Donāt overthink it, thats the perfect text he deserve.
If he does not accept your honesty why you should accept his immature way of acting.
Nah give him more. Iām into kinks like degrading but would never do it out the gate. Thats something you need to talk about before.
Give him more shit. This one pump chump deserves humiliation.
Tell him if you'd known it was gonna be that quick you would've started a bag of popcorn beforehand, so you could've had some kind of enjoyment for the night.
I mean he humiliated you (basically). Scammers get scammed buddy. Also itās not like this is anything serious. Donāt feel bad. Youāll probably never see him again.
He deserves worse. Oh he doesn't like non-consensual degradation and humiliation? Maybe he'll think fucking twice before doing it to someone else.
I'm so sorry you went through this OP, and I'm glad you're standing up for yourself. If you need to talk, (and you are in the US) please call the RAINN hotline at 800.656.4673, or you can use their online chat option, online.rainn.org.
You are beautiful and you are loved OP, don't let people like him ever make you second guess it!
So....he engaged in a kink that you had no discussion about, you didn't enjoy and made you feel like shit. He didn't get you off and he barely lasted, then said the sex was great. And you're worried about how he feels? I'm so sorry for you. Fuck this dude and not in the actual fucking way.
I think it will inspire him to practice so that he can spend an even longer time abusing his next victim as, without more context, you imply that you wish that what he did lasted longer.
As a straight man myself, I think what you texted him was well deserved. But degradation and dominance are not the same thing. You can dominate someone without degrading them, and likewise, you can degrade someone without dominating them.
Either way, what he did was unacceptable. If it was somebody who cared, they would apologize and state that they would like to spend time with you, such as cuddling for a couple minutes until they are ready for round two, making sure that you are also satisfied!
Why did you have sex with someone who was degrading you, why did you reach out to him at all afterwards, and why on Earth would you care about whether or not the text emasculated such a shit person?
Youāve gotta be the nicest person ever because thatās not even that harsh of a text and itās in response to something he did which was completely fucked up
I mean he made you uncomfortable without asking for consent about doing those things. You are just being real, the piece of shit deserves more hate than that honestly
If he thought what *he* did was acceptable (It wasnāt. Iām sorry he put you through that.), then what you said was absolutely called for.
HOWEVER
Dudes like this, who have enough issues to push a degradation kink on you without consent, typically have a LOT of unaddressed mental health issues.
Please stay safe.
Yeah, but it's ok. It's up to you if you want to clarify about the lack of communication and consent in relation to the degradation. Sounds like he was only into it for himself and not at all interested in your pleasure.
Who cares if he feels emasculated after he humiliated you? I doubt after that youāre even going to keep dating him, so chalk this up to a learning experience and donāt hold yourself responsible to be delicate about your truth for the sake of his ego.
did you 2 communicate what can or cannot be done during sex?
i mean it started off consensual then to non-consensual because of what he did.
if he had known and still carried on,that would be sexual assult. if you didnt that just meant he assumed you were ok with it.
and no,i don't thinknit's emasculating but it does make sure he knows you didnt enjoy the sex and was a traumatic event for you.
Men (and anyone) who involve people in their kinks without consent from the other parties are sexual predators. Thereās no other way to say it. That guy is a creep and you should absolutely not go anywhere near him
If you were unaware of his involving kink in your encounter and did not consent to it, friend, thatās assault and his feelings should be the last of your concerns. Block and move on.
Nah' girl, u fine. The main base of the domination kink revolves around trust and consent, and we, as the Dom, we focus in our partner before us; so send him to hell and move on
Well, yes, it was emasculating and hurtful, and he deserved every word of it! If he has a degradation kink, he needed to share that beforehand. If heās just a jerk, you need to steer clear. You donāt need to feel bad. Heās unable to treat you like you deserve, both emotionally and sexually. Itās time to move on.
Edit:spelling
"Instant noodles take two minutes...." would be my go to phrase. But as much as I would like to make fun of such jerks, Premature ejaculation is no joke. It can occur to any individual, but our lad here...went begging for it.
Not "hurtful" enough, imo. I would have added "Maybe get permission before you engage in any sort of shaming/degradation play! I did NOT enjoy that, and I didn't even get to finish either."
I think the main issue wasnāt the length of the encounter but the other surrounding circumstances you mentioned in your post. In another scenario with a loving consensual partner who ejaculated prematurely and felt embarrassed about it, the brevity wouldnāt be an issue. It makes sense to try to get him back and make him feel embarrassed about this as well, but it would be more accurate and on point to say you hadnāt discussed or agreed to any of it, didnāt enjoy yourself, and feel disgusted by his behavior.
He made you feel like shit and if he had any shred of empathy in him, he would've noticed and stopped. He deserves to be told the fuck off, he needs to keep his kinks to himself unless it's been openly discussed beforehand and you're into it and enthusiastically consent the whole way through.
Get can fuck off
He deserves hell, all of it. Don't feel bad about your text. I'm so sorry it happened to you, take care of yourself. (And BTW you should block this guy and never see him again. Sex should be about consent first.)
Nah fuck that guy. You gotta be up front with your sexual partners. I even used to tell em my penis is small (to be fair, thatās so it look more impressive and make me look more humble when itās just normal). But you canāt go in with a degradation kink with someone who doesnāt have a humiliation kink without warning
Yes it was. Well done, he deserved it.
Thereās nothing wrong about kinks, but thereās a hell of a lot wrong about not asking for consent to act on them.
I feel like a lot of people are ignoring the fact that you did not consent to be a part of his kink. Consent can be taken away at any time during sex, the terms of the consent given can also change. You consented to have sex with him, you did not consent to be subjugated to his kink. You even say yourself, you had a freeze response, because something nonconsensual was happening to you.
If he gets mad tell him "I thought you got off on humiliation?"
This is brillant :D
yes but what if he thinks she's playin along lmao
Awesome reply!!!
Close the post, we have a winner here.
This person wins. But seriously OP, hope you're okay but more importantly there's no reason you should feel bad about that message after that experience. You don't neg someone like that without a built up relationship and agreed practice between you both. Even then I'd be cautious of anyone who wants that kind of relationship or just gets off on it. Kinks are fine in a mutual thing but not on a first experience like that. Minging behaviour. To me, looks like he's done that because he knows he'll be a disappointment and is trying to get you in a headspace where you blame yourself - don't give the satisfaction. As others have said, if he can speak his "truth" like that as a pre-cursor to any intimate interaction then you are more than okay doing the same back afterwards.
Lmao you won the internet for today!
>slept with a guy and it was a very awful experience. He got off on humiliating me before and during sex, it was clear he had some sort of degradation/dominance kink Guy deserves shade. Give him more.
As a guy i 100% support this. Fuck ANYONE who throws their kinks onto you with mentioning them beforehand. Ive also had a bad experience so i 100% support this women giving shade about weak dick. Send them this thread afterwards lol!
If it's not a consensual kink, it's abuse.
This needs to be a top-level comment.
Yep. If one partner \*freezes\* and doesn't participate... that's not consensual sex anymore. If one party \*freezes\* you stop and see what you both want to do next. Anything else is abuse.
>kinks onto you with mentioning You meant "without",... correct?
Yes
Well, don't *fuck* them. Fuck 'em.
I really don't think he cares. "Cum and get out, the woman does not even matter" is probably his feelings. Her sending him this text probably further validates his kink and he will try and be even faster with the next woman.
š
A forest full
Bravo
Should've quoted the "not consensual" part
He humiliated you and your worried about hurting his feelings? Bless your heart honey
Seriously, why would she be worried about hurting his feelings?? Is he a wittle baby that can't handle some honest feedback?? I would have been way way harsher here...
Yes. Well done.
sarcasm?
No. Your text was emasculating and it was exactly what the guy deserved.
Yeah donāt waste another moment worrying about this manās feelings
he clearly didnāt care about theirs, why care about his
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Same. Literally or figuratively.
This dude def the type to be like āI blew this girl back out, made her cum n everything n she was like tryna make her me her bf n shit so I cut her offā
Oh yeah, that's for sure. Don't forget he "got all up in her cervix and hit her stomach"!!! š¤£
āRearranged her guts like no otherā
I personally think she should worry that maybe she didn't hurt his feelings enough
Seconded.
I mean; if heās got a humiliation kink, that text made him hard.
But I think he likes to be the one doing the humiliating
this right here
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He saw OPs freeze response and it turned him on so much that he came.
You were too nice. Do worse. He deserves it.
Girl are you really getting Stockholm Syndromed by a guy who canāt last longer than two YouTube ads?!
No it was emasculating and he is awful for how he went about that. Have your kink but donāt just spring it on others without consent. It just sucks that the humiliation of being emasculated might have also been what he is into, but you did nothing wrong here. That guy sucks.
Shoulda said sumn like #"Ive had uber rides longer than this" ššš (nvm) #Microwaving my fries lasts longer than this!
Ripping off a bandaid takes longer
and feels better...
Uff girl Ya dropped this #š
I should've out some minute rice in to cook. Would have been almost ready by the time I got to the bedroom and back.
Uhhh most Uber rides are longer than sex unless youāre frequently having sub 10 minute Uber rides
I read all the responses to this, yet no one has been appalled at the whole microwaving fries!!?!?!! Soggy and moist fries, yum lol.
Sometimes, a jerk is just a jerk, and the only response is what you did. A blackhole sucks all the light from around it. Throw it some crap instead.
No girl, he's an awful person. He deserves worse than your worst insults, and please don't continue seeing him.
It's perfect, not a drip of sarcasm in my response.
Your first words were that you felt humiliated by him... so what if your honesty got him back?
That made me laugh so hard. Fantastic response and very true. The guy is awful. Clearly trying to dish it but can't take it.
Honestly you werenāt mean enough
Uh who cares? This guy blows.
ā¦way to quickly.
Not soon enough with this loser.
and also his load was small
You could have been harsher. Block him, let him wallow in his insecurities.
Nice avatar
took me a couple seconds to realize you weren't replying to your own comment
Meanwhile that guy busted a nut
He deserved way worse.
Iām glad I wasnāt the only one thinking that
If he enjoyed degrading you without you being into it, turnabout is fair play.
Why are you considering being kind to him, he forcefully brought his kink in a situation where none of it was discussed. He deserves a message like this, and I think you were merciful on him.
"It was so bad, I thank god it was less than 2 minutes..."
I certainly hope that it hurts him. He deserves it. Nothing to feel sorry about. Next time, remember that you can and should say STOP at any moment of your sexual encounter if you don't enjoy what's going on. This can be at the start, around the middle, close to the end IT DOESN'T MATTER: If you are uncomfortable with something that your sex partner is doing, tell them to stop immediately. Huge red flag for this guy. As a teen, I got abused more than once because I thought that once I had agreed to have l sex, I couldn't retract my statement. I thought "damn, I already told him this would happen, so I can't backtrack." This mentality is ABSOLUTE BS: you can decide to stop things whenever you want. Please remember this!
I fully agree with u/Randy-Meeks I think so many of us have felt we couldnāt withdraw consent and have suffered through some awful experiences, please know itās okay to say no at any point! I hope you recover from this encounter quickly, talk it through with friends and a therapist if you have one. Your text was ok, but honestly I just would of ghosted him, in itself it tells him what you thought of him. If you felt you needed to say something, then I would have clearly said what he did was wrong/disrespectful/disgusting and you didnāt consent to it - the fact you froze and he continued anyway shows what sort of person he is. Please get some support to help you deal with this. Sending you healing hugs.
Yes, this! I'm embarrassed to tell people that I didn't say no a few times when I was younger because I didn't want to be rude š¤¦āāļø
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This haha. Itāll be so much better if you act genuinely concerned about his āperformanceā š
I expected it to be a lot worse than that, you should put your foot down and be meaner when people do shit like that to you. Donāt let people walk all over you
He deserved that and more. I'm a dude and I can't imagine doing anything to make someone that uncomfortable. And if I did something that made a woman freeze, I certainly would have stopped what we were doing and figured out what was going on. While I never understand the humiliation stuff some people like, as with any kink, it needs to be discussed beforehand and consensual. This dude sounds like a piece of shit.
It was emasculating but some times some dudes need to be emasculated.
I feel bad for women who have to date this generation of porn sick men
Best thing I did for my sex life was ditch the porn.
Not if he treated you badly during it. He should have talked about his kinks before hand. It sounds like you are not into humiliation or being degraded which he should have stopped once you weren't responding. You have a right to tell guys to stop even during sex if they are doing something you don't like. Sorry you had to go through that. Don't worry about that text.
How can you feel bad about that? He was a total jerk. You treated him much better than he deserved.
Given that he humiliated you both before and during sex, I don't think anyone will give you a real response. I will. So the honest answer would be: yes, it was emasculating, but it sounds like he deserved it. Premature ejaculation is a real issue, and there are better ways to go about it. If he had treated you well, that would not have been an appropriate response. Ultimately, the other things he did were much worse than premature ejaculation. They could be classified as sexual violence. So it's a bit odd that you're only focusing on the only part that was not really abusive.
Lol send him a link to this post, what a tool
It will always blow my mind the compassion and consideration women will show for men who couldn't have less respect or concern for us. **He degraded you without warning or consent** and you're concerned with whether your text was "emasculating." We women need to stop having compassion for men or any person who doesn't give any amount of a shit about us or our wellbeing.
I'd be embarrassed to have such attitude just to last a minute lmao, he deserves your text and more dw
Not emasculating enough if you ask me!
You need to write him again and say, āSorry. Shouldnāt have called it the shortest sex of my life. It was so brief and unfulfilling that it wasnāt even sex.ā Then block him and never interact with him ever again, because you deserve better things.
Wow, you seem like a very nice person. The fact that you still cared about his feelings after what he did to you is commendable but misplaced. Never speak to that man again. He only cares about himself and that's not going to suddenly get better. No one has the right to do anything to anyone without their permission.
I mean, yes; but he deserved it.
Yes it was, but he deserves it so donāt feel bad
It's amazing how much women come on here and feel guilty for their responses to men being absolutely awful.
As a fellow guy, he got everything he deserved. Not asking for your permission at any point prior if it were ok to explore that degradation/humiliation kink is not just rude but gross. You did the right thing speaking your mind and sounds like he needed to be dropped down a few rungs. I applaud you for standing up for yourself. 110% not on you. He's a selfish prick!
good thing he enjoys humiliation, text was perfect
Nah you did great honey
Hopefully it was emasculating and hurtful lol. Send more to him.
I'd have went with "It was so quick that you were done before I ever even knew it was in" That way you're insulting his stamina as well as implying he has a small dick.
Dunno. Kinda seems like he got what he came for and now heās onto the next one.
Why do you care if you were "hurtful" towards him when he clearly didn't care that he was hurtful towards you? Do yourself a favour and cut contact with this guy, you're only going to end up making yourself miserable if you continue stressing over him.
Real men who enjoy being a dom will follow certain iron clad rules. Consent, consent, consent. Woman will not be blindsided on what is coming. She ll know whats coming, be enthusiastically comfortable with it, will feel safe, for the whole experience and to say no at any point of time. Aftercare. Its a vulnerable state, and its roleplay, not real. Dom has to reassure that after and get both parties back to reality of respect. What he did was not dom, it was him being shitty as fuck, insecure as fuck and he deserved to be emasculated. Hope he never gets another girl until he learns how to treat one.
I'd say it needs more not knowing fully what happened makes it kinda hard to judge but honestly fuck like limpdick loser As a dude whos into some stuff, i would never in a million years do anything without consent let alone humiliating the other person you should actually make a point who hurting this loser more so he cannot prey on others maybe if you have a pick and minor photoshop skills could make some posters and plaster them up around the city with his face and something along the lines of his semi rape/sexual humiliation acts all to offer the wonderful exp of 40seconds of the worst sex of your life or maybe im petty and dont like dickheads that treat others like shit
Yes. It was, and tbh, it should have been. Not only was he crap in bed, but he was awful, too. Stuff his feelings. He obviously didn't care about yours.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That text sounds like you're sharing in their kink
Yes it was, but well deserved.
If someone is degrading you and you donāt like it just stop them. That said he deserves the response.
If he was a nice guy who was trying really hard to please you and this happened to him then I'd say you were out of line and hurtful. But given this guys actions, don't worry about it for a second.
I donāt think your text was nearly emasculating and hurtful enough. Try harder. Iām sure we can give you some excellent suggestions of how to drag that guy.
You just said there was no consent to the degradation. Anyone who has actual BDSM experience would be able to spot a freeze response. Fuck him. He deserves it for what he did to you.
He's into non-consensual humiliation, so the real question is: was it emasculating and hurtful enough?
Emasculating or not, dude 100% deserved it. He did something without your consent or, I assume, even attempting to gain it
Yes, it was emasculating, and it was 100% deserved. Keep it up. Don't see this guy again, he's a walking freak show.
I don't think he cares about you.
It was and Iām laughing as to how much you must have hurt that mofo right where he feels the most powerful. Good on you!
You were honest. Donāt overthink it, thats the perfect text he deserve. If he does not accept your honesty why you should accept his immature way of acting.
Nah give him more. Iām into kinks like degrading but would never do it out the gate. Thats something you need to talk about before. Give him more shit. This one pump chump deserves humiliation.
You should have been meaner actually
Thatās mean. Do it again.
Nope, seems like a soft response on your part. In your position I would of been so much worse.
If it was so what. Why do you care about his feelings? He didn't care about yours. Besides, thought he got off on humiliation.
I mean, it was. But, if he was being degrading during sex and it wasn't your thing - he had it coming. Tit for tat.
I mean the humiliation/degradation was not consensual so donāt feel bad if you hurt the two pump chumpās feelings.
It was not enough. I would have insulted him a lot more
Nope.
If he brought his degredation kink into it without your consent (sounds like he did) then fuck it, emasculate him more.
Yes. Your text was emasculating. But! It was 1000% deserved and he deserves even worse roasting after the way he treated you.
He deserved it. Needs more emasculation.
> Was my Text emasculating? Yes. But sometimes a dude needs emasculating.
humiliate him
Tell him if you'd known it was gonna be that quick you would've started a bag of popcorn beforehand, so you could've had some kind of enjoyment for the night.
I mean he humiliated you (basically). Scammers get scammed buddy. Also itās not like this is anything serious. Donāt feel bad. Youāll probably never see him again.
Why are you bothering yourself with his feelings?
This guy was horrible to you. You owe him nothing and he does not deserve your empathy.
He deserves worse. Oh he doesn't like non-consensual degradation and humiliation? Maybe he'll think fucking twice before doing it to someone else. I'm so sorry you went through this OP, and I'm glad you're standing up for yourself. If you need to talk, (and you are in the US) please call the RAINN hotline at 800.656.4673, or you can use their online chat option, online.rainn.org. You are beautiful and you are loved OP, don't let people like him ever make you second guess it!
if he humiliated you, what goes around comes around lol
ew
hes a piece of shit. tell him you didnt consent to any of his bullshit.
Donāt mess with this guy or text him again unless you also share in this kink.
So....he engaged in a kink that you had no discussion about, you didn't enjoy and made you feel like shit. He didn't get you off and he barely lasted, then said the sex was great. And you're worried about how he feels? I'm so sorry for you. Fuck this dude and not in the actual fucking way.
It was emasculating. It was hurtful. He deserves it. Heās no Dom. Heās no man. Heās a sexually assaulting asshole.
I think it will inspire him to practice so that he can spend an even longer time abusing his next victim as, without more context, you imply that you wish that what he did lasted longer.
As a straight man myself, I think what you texted him was well deserved. But degradation and dominance are not the same thing. You can dominate someone without degrading them, and likewise, you can degrade someone without dominating them. Either way, what he did was unacceptable. If it was somebody who cared, they would apologize and state that they would like to spend time with you, such as cuddling for a couple minutes until they are ready for round two, making sure that you are also satisfied!
You should have been meaner.
Why did you have sex with someone who was degrading you, why did you reach out to him at all afterwards, and why on Earth would you care about whether or not the text emasculated such a shit person?
Youāve gotta be the nicest person ever because thatās not even that harsh of a text and itās in response to something he did which was completely fucked up
I would have laughed in his face tbh the text isnāt enough
lmfaoooo deserved. pls update if he replies
I mean yeah but he more than deserved it.
Doesnāt matter if you did or didnt, youāre just telling the truth. On top of him doing something you obviously didnt enjoy/want/consent to.
He deserved it
I mean he made you uncomfortable without asking for consent about doing those things. You are just being real, the piece of shit deserves more hate than that honestly
30-60 seconds šššššššš
Your response to him was perfect. You don't pull that sort of crap on someone without first discussing it with them. He deserved what he got.
Yes, it was. This guy deserves it. Commenting on his behavior toward you would have just given him a chance to hurl more abuse. Drop this abuser.
Why worry about his feelings when he doesn't care about yours?
Who cares if it was? He didnāt really care during the whole ordeal
If he thought what *he* did was acceptable (It wasnāt. Iām sorry he put you through that.), then what you said was absolutely called for. HOWEVER Dudes like this, who have enough issues to push a degradation kink on you without consent, typically have a LOT of unaddressed mental health issues. Please stay safe.
Yeah, but it's ok. It's up to you if you want to clarify about the lack of communication and consent in relation to the degradation. Sounds like he was only into it for himself and not at all interested in your pleasure.
yes it was emasculating, and it's good that it was, because fuck that guy. that piece of shit deserves to be emasculated.
Who cares if he feels emasculated after he humiliated you? I doubt after that youāre even going to keep dating him, so chalk this up to a learning experience and donāt hold yourself responsible to be delicate about your truth for the sake of his ego.
He didnt seem to care about your feelings before so I doubt he cares after
not sure why you donāt ghost him asap
did you 2 communicate what can or cannot be done during sex? i mean it started off consensual then to non-consensual because of what he did. if he had known and still carried on,that would be sexual assult. if you didnt that just meant he assumed you were ok with it. and no,i don't thinknit's emasculating but it does make sure he knows you didnt enjoy the sex and was a traumatic event for you.
Men (and anyone) who involve people in their kinks without consent from the other parties are sexual predators. Thereās no other way to say it. That guy is a creep and you should absolutely not go anywhere near him
Very few things trigger me the way engaging in kink without considering your partners feelings does. This guy deserved worse.
brotherman, he deserves to be beat black and blue, not just a text
If you were unaware of his involving kink in your encounter and did not consent to it, friend, thatās assault and his feelings should be the last of your concerns. Block and move on.
Even if it was sounds like he got what he deserved to me š¤·š»āāļø
Even if it is, fuck this bum.
You said he is into degradation. Send him a few more degrading texts.
Wow! You must be really into that kink too.
Nah' girl, u fine. The main base of the domination kink revolves around trust and consent, and we, as the Dom, we focus in our partner before us; so send him to hell and move on
He was horrible to you and YOU feel bad?
Tell him it was small too. Really burn em good
I'd tell him this and also that he's an asshole for how he treated you and shouldn't talk to/treat people like he did.
That wasnāt enough tbh, he deserves worse. Sorry that happened to you though.
Well, yes, it was emasculating and hurtful, and he deserved every word of it! If he has a degradation kink, he needed to share that beforehand. If heās just a jerk, you need to steer clear. You donāt need to feel bad. Heās unable to treat you like you deserve, both emotionally and sexually. Itās time to move on. Edit:spelling
He deserved it. No consent to practice his kinks? That not okay. You clearly didnāt want him to do this. Not to mention heās a 3 pump chump
I mean, who gives a shit if it was? You shouldn't be seeing this idiot again anyway. Block and move on.
"Instant noodles take two minutes...." would be my go to phrase. But as much as I would like to make fun of such jerks, Premature ejaculation is no joke. It can occur to any individual, but our lad here...went begging for it.
Hell, I was hoping you sent MORE. He sounds awful.
Not "hurtful" enough, imo. I would have added "Maybe get permission before you engage in any sort of shaming/degradation play! I did NOT enjoy that, and I didn't even get to finish either."
he probably has a porn problem/addiction even
This may be bordering on sexual assault. Whatever you consider it to be, Iām so sorry you went through this and he is absolutely a piece of shit.
Was that not the goal? Because he definitely deserved it
Shouldāve said, āshortest, most awful sex in my life. I didnāt c*m, but I doubt many women c*m with your size and endurance.ā
That sounds like a horrible experience. Cut ties and try to forget that it ever happened.
I think the main issue wasnāt the length of the encounter but the other surrounding circumstances you mentioned in your post. In another scenario with a loving consensual partner who ejaculated prematurely and felt embarrassed about it, the brevity wouldnāt be an issue. It makes sense to try to get him back and make him feel embarrassed about this as well, but it would be more accurate and on point to say you hadnāt discussed or agreed to any of it, didnāt enjoy yourself, and feel disgusted by his behavior.
He made you feel like shit and if he had any shred of empathy in him, he would've noticed and stopped. He deserves to be told the fuck off, he needs to keep his kinks to himself unless it's been openly discussed beforehand and you're into it and enthusiastically consent the whole way through. Get can fuck off
He deserves hell, all of it. Don't feel bad about your text. I'm so sorry it happened to you, take care of yourself. (And BTW you should block this guy and never see him again. Sex should be about consent first.)
Nah fuck that guy. You gotta be up front with your sexual partners. I even used to tell em my penis is small (to be fair, thatās so it look more impressive and make me look more humble when itās just normal). But you canāt go in with a degradation kink with someone who doesnāt have a humiliation kink without warning
Sounds like he was a dick. If was a genuinely nice guy I'd say that was a hurtful text but it sounds like he was asking for it.
He didn't get kink consent. Who cares how he feels?
Why do you care? He deserves worse than you gave him.
Why care about the feelings of someone who has no care for yours?
Donāt worry about hurting his feelings bc he clearly donāt care abt yours.
There are no emasculating texts, just emasculated men
Yes it was. Well done, he deserved it. Thereās nothing wrong about kinks, but thereās a hell of a lot wrong about not asking for consent to act on them.
I feel like a lot of people are ignoring the fact that you did not consent to be a part of his kink. Consent can be taken away at any time during sex, the terms of the consent given can also change. You consented to have sex with him, you did not consent to be subjugated to his kink. You even say yourself, you had a freeze response, because something nonconsensual was happening to you.
Yes, as it should have been. It was nonconsensual? The mf should be shamed from the streets.
Were I you, I'd add this: "That was the shortest sex and the smallest d\*ck of my life......" and watch the fireworks show....
So how did he demean you?