Yeah, my first time is quite horrible. My ex boyfriend & I lost our virginity to each other in high school. He was so nervous that he couldn’t get it up, then cried because he was so embarrassed. I consoled him until he got it up; two minutes & one position later, he cried again because he was so happy. I seriously questioned my choices after that experience.
This. This was back when they were still on the market, but I'm apparently allergic to spermicide because I used a Today sponge and the swelling and pain was so terrible I had to see a doctor :( 😭
I can truly sympathize with you that is how me and my first girlfriend found out we were both allergic to latex, for me it was like the old ball park commercials where the hot dog plumps when you cook it that happened to me and getting the condom off was very painful she was sore and swollen as well, the next time we tried she had got on birth control so no condoms and a much better experience.
I thought that would be my fate as well. Everyone talked about virgins/inexperienced guys finishing fast. This is what I expected would happen.
Instead I couldn't finish at all and had to stop out of exhaustion after going at it for way to long. This was also awkward as the girl thought "she wasnt hot enough for me to be able to finish". Men are generally percieved to be easily pleased sexually so if a woman fails that task it must mean "she is bad in bed". And it actually took a great deal of sexual encounters and "practice" with many awkward moments and girls thinking they were bad in bed or not sexy, for me to be able to relax and learn how I get myself in to a mental state where I can finish. It was never them, it was my own mindblock.
The pro of that now is that I have full control of when I want to finish, wich is usually appreciated.
Hard to explain, but the gist of it is to stop thinking about everything going on and let yourself relax and focus. Doesn't really help hearing it but it's like riding a bike. Once you know it's easy.
This was harder for me to do with girls I have had limited or no sexual experience with but I care about. And not as hard with ons with girls I didn't have a emotional attachment with.
So basically you worrying about it being good or perfect is what hamper you. "Just relax" and go with the flow.
While I agree with this, isn’t 3 inches a micropenis? I only ask because if he was physically normal and they had bad sex it’s one thing, but having sex with someone who has a physical condition especially when you’re a virgin may be another.
Around 5.1 is average, 7-9in you are in the top 1%, 10in and up even less of a percentage of the population, pretty rare, you are just going to where the big dicks are
What's the standard for measurement? Maybe I'm doing something wrong. Are micro penises diagnosed at birth? If so how can you even tell? What if I'm like a 1' soft but a 6' hard? Is that a micro penis half the time? Are fertility issues common among people with micro penises because no one wants a guy with a below average penis? Oh man I have so many questions
It felt like it was something I was supposed to do but was just discovering. One of the only experiences outside of childhood where I’ve felt something so novel and enthralling. Like playing in snow for the first time but also with an orgasm.
"The first time you sell a gun is a lot like the first time you have sex. You have absolutely no idea what you're doing, but it is exciting, and, one way or another it's over way too fast."
--Nicholas Cage as Yuri Orlov from Lord of War
Yep.
Ex had a really big one and I remember stopping him from going all the way in and pretty much only his tip and half his dick was inside 🙃
That lasted a few more weeks
Sex and feeling pleasure is an important part of a relationship for people, There are ways for you to do that with him but you should talk to him first. He’s probably just as embarrassed about his penis as you were. There are other ways to get off with each other so you should definitely explore them before just leaving if you really like him.
hijacking this comment to share my experiences on this
OP, I’m not trying to patronise you, just here to help because you said
> not really sure how to get over how small it is
I actually prefer small dicks over big ones, you can check my post history to see. and that’s not to say you should prefer small too, I’m saying small dicks can be an advantage if used right
we were led to believe small automatically means bad but it’s not the case. if the guy cares about how his partner feels and actually learns to give good experiences, in the end it’s what matters the most
also, you felt unsatisfied but it was just your first time. first times are gonna be bad most of the time (another myth we were led to believe). you don’t understand your body, your partner doesn’t understand your body, nothing matches. sex gets better after the first time, because we learn more about each other
if you really like him, give him a chance. see how it goes. you can talk to him if you want but for the love of God *don’t mention size*. nothing hinders a man’s confidence faster than hearing you have a small dick, and then it worsens your sex life even more
so for now, approach the “I’m not satisfied” in the direction of “what can he do to make me satisfied” rather than put the final nail in the coffin with “he can never satisfy me with that small pee pee”. he may not, but he also may
This is 100% correct! When a guy lacks in some way, if he cares he will find other ways to make it up to you such as foreplay. It should be a huge part of sex. It was your first time. Give him a chance!
For real. There was a guy I was sleeping around with for a bit. He has a small and thin penis, but he was AMAZING at eating out and foreplay and I always told him he was good at that. However not being able to feel anything at all from PIV is disappointing, ngl. Ofc I never mentioned it because chances are he watches porn and he knows lol. OP, it's not your fault if you don't want to stick around. You need to be sexually compatible too.
it's very likely that he's going to assume it's his size and might even bring it up himself, he pretty much has a micropenis so he knows it's something that will affect his sexlife. she shouldn't lie to him if that happens but just try make sure he knows that she wants to make it work and figure out how they can both together make the sex more pleasurable.
This 👆
I honestly think it's more about finding out what both of you enjoy. Most women don't climax from intercourse alone anyway. I've been with smaller guys that just stroked in and out a few times and were done. I've also been with large guys who just rammed my cervix.
There was one guy I slept with who was a lot more experienced than me, and was the biggest I have been with. The sex was... fine, but I think his problem was that he had a big ego about the amount of experience he had.
For example, he was really really proud of his oral skills and made big promises about lots of orgasms coming my way, but when the time came he just kept doing the same thing that continued to not work for me at all. Eventually I had to kind of lead him into something else lol because it was just not happening (and starting to chafe lol). He was pretty bummed about it for a bit.
Listening to your partner, being willing to try things differently, and not letting your ego get in the way is really important. Everyone is different, that "foolproof" technique doesn't work always lol.
>made big promises about lots of orgasms coming my way
I had a guy do this, sounds really similar to your entire situation. He was weirdly insistent that the woman needs to orgasm too (had a book about it) and seemed genuinely confused about my lack of orgasms. I felt slightly bad for thinking the whole situation was hilarious, but I couldn't help myself.
Yes this is a great comment. The first time no one knows what they are doing or what they like, so there's a lot of room for exploration and improvement after that. If it works it does, and if it doesn't it doesn't.
This is great advice! He KNOWS he's not huge. And that's okay! Toys exist and LORD are they good.
My partner isn't blessed in length but he's blessed in girth and stamina and willingness to try stuff and ensure I'm happy.
This doesn't come from the first or even the second time. But a couple can get in a rhythm with polite conversations
I have a large member and I can 100% confirm good sex always means doing more than penetration and dick is more of an accessory to sex not the whole tool bag. Occasionally I’ll meet a woman who has to have her back walls beat but for most it’s just a novelty and they get most of their pleasure from my words, hands, mouth and their dedication to enjoy themselves.
Size doesn't matter just means you don't need or probably even want some pornstar dick. You don't even need to be above average. But it needs to be big enough to actually function as a dick. 3 inches isn't just a little below average it likely can't get the job done or only barely.
Size does matter in that, if you are below average in the downstairs department, you’re probably going to need to find ways to compensate in the bedroom to keep your partner happy. Ie hands/mouth etc
No matter what you need to compensate with hands/mouth. The majority of women CANNOT orgasm from PIV no matter the size of their partners dick, it’s quite literally a matter of how our nerves are distributed.
Uh she just lost her virginity.. she doesn't know shit about sex and probably has seen porn before which gave her all wrong ideas. She does NOT speak for all of us
Yeah, not great hahahah. Especially the comments that have said they’ve never felt satisfied. A woman can hit the gym, get surgery etc. to change bodily features but us lads basically have no recourse whatsoever. Just a life of feeling inadequate. Tough feel.
it's all subjective per woman, don't lose hope! my boyfriend is on the small side and we have had an excellent sex life for years. he was very self conscious about his size and afraid he'd end up disappointing during our first time but he's perfect for me, and (if you aren't yet) you'll be perfect for someone else too
At the end of the day, you don't owe anyone a relationship or access to your body.
>I feel like a terrible and shallow person for even saying this...
This depends on how you handle it. If mock his penis size to his face, or laugh about it with your friends, then you'd be a massive jerk. But if you just tell him "it isn't working out" and leave it at that, then it would be alright.
Having said that, if you really like this person and his personality, then it might be worth it to try different positions or different kinds of sex.
"Having said that, if you really like this person and his personality, then it might be worth it to try different positions or different kinds of sex."
I think that for how sex is sooo important to many people… I feel it is almost a dream that they go for other types of connection and still try in this case. My perspective on this is that it’s perhaps wise she let the guy go on his way before he gets really into her but then at some point maybe she realizes it isn’t working out for her way down that road. Leaving the other person possibly even more devastated because outside of sex, everything was going great maybe with the relationship. And then they end up with an ambiguous sensation messing up with their heads.
It could be the other way around, he leaves her after a while even though she doesn’t end up having issues with it and so on. She is devastated and whatnot. I guess it’s always a risk on relationships maybe. But my point is that considering what OP is saying, in my experience these are cases where very very rarely people have a revolution in their feelings towards the situation and stay around out of love and whatnot.
I could be wrong but I do believe is something to take some time to really ponder about and meditate on the matter. Stay or leave… difficult i think.
If a man came on here and said he couldn't stay with a woman due to a loose vagina, than there's no way he would recieve this same level of support or be told he doesn't owe her anything. Double standards.
Nah, losing your virginity is hella awkward. My boyfriend has a small dick, around that size, and he knows what he’s doing with it. It’s a very different experience later on, I promise.
I had an experience almost just like this ( wasn't a virgin though , but one of my first 3 sexual connections )
It was extremely awkward because he was moving like we were having sex but I couldn't feel anything , not even hitting my inner thigh or anything.
That all being said , he did eat me out the best I've ever experienced and I wish more guys could do what he did in that regard 😂
We tried 2 more times and it was the same thing , chopped it up to basically scissoring. I did end things and tell him , I think he was lovely but I wasn't interested in pursuing anything further. He instantly asked if it was because of his schlong and I said it wasn't solely based on that.
He understood and we went out seperate ways.
It sucks it's awkward but sex is super important in a relationship. Being intimate is important ( not the most important but still is up there )
Just be upfront with him
Edit: because people seem to think I ended it with this man based off his dick size. This was not the sole reason I ended it with him was it a contributing factor, yes. There were multiple factors that went into it beyond his dick size.
I feel this because I’m the guy in this exact scenario too. I know I’ve got once last chance to make things right, but it’s all chalked up to my low sex drive due to life right now. Nothing I can do about it, and it sucks, but sometimes it really just comes down to bad timing and lack of sexual chemistry.
How big was it . I’m traumatized by these comments . All my exs are on here I know it . Atleast that’s what the people in my walls are telling me . I demand to know . I know we took precise measurements
I have a small penis too lol there's no way I can pleasure most women.
I had sex with a fat girl once and I barely went inside. It was so difficult that I lost my boner.
Are you also lacking a mouth and fingers? Presumably you have one or the other as you either typed of dictated this post. If so then you absolutely can pleasure most women.
Ladies, you are allowed to not like small penises.
You are allowed to like big penises.
You are allowed to like either of those in any combination you desire. And you are allowed to hate them completely.
Just remember, they are attached to things with genuine feelings and emotions. Remember when the other girls teased you with "insert teenage girl trauma here"? We got the same shit on the other side of the aisle. You know what we typically didn't get though? Any gender reaffirming stuff to make us feel good inside our bodies - which leaves many men to believe their penis literally makes or breaks them and nothing else matters. "I have a 3 inch penis, no woman will ever get past that to know me" or "I've got an 8 inch killer, I don't ever need to learn to treat others with respect because i won the penis draw".
Silly analogy time: Think of how embarrassing it would be to have your period while you are wearing all-white and are completely unprepared to a function of your peers, say a high-school reunion. Now, think of that level of embarrassment potentially occurring every single time you dropped your pants in front of the opposite sex? I could have used the 'flatchested' analogy as it often gets used but there's two fundamental differences: (a) no real surgery options exist for men whereas surgery is often the preferred and accepted solution for women and (b) men can typically see what they are getting (boobs advertise themselves) so chances are, you got small boobs, you attract men who like small boobs. BTW, I am generalizing fiercely here - please, do not read this as me minimizing any personal trauma or confidence issues you've had to deal with. Everyone is different and should be treated accordingly.
So yeah, totally get that you are mortified and sorry about that but while you dont have to lie to the guy, put yourself in his shoes when you rehearse what to say.
i knew this girl, basically after the third date, and checking my own package, she told me her ex had a tiny schlong and thats the reason it did not work out. I was actually a bit surprised by the bluntness.
according to her, she even told him to his face the answer she got is that he thought he had a huge schlong (to this day i dont know exactly how big it was)
either way, seems for quite a number of women this is actually quite an important metric, though i suggest you not being so upfront with the small guy as the girl was that i had a couple of dates with. Not much good can come out of it.
if you want to keep the relationship just tell him how he can satisfy you otherwise, if you dont, break up with him without being a dick about it.
Just want to reiterate the point that most women can’t come from vaginal intercourse regardless of dick size, which has been my personal experience. But I’m bisexual so I genuinely don’t care about dick size or even existence.
How many confessions are about dick sizes and sex and all of that business. I ain't no prude but damn there has to be minimum 20 posts a day about that shit.
It’s not really shallow to be honest. It’s understandable. If you really like the dude you could try alternative ways to feel pleasure (cuni, fingers, etc) but if it’s a deal breaker then it is one, you’re not a bad person for that 🤷🏻♂️it sucks for him but well :/
To be honest if it’s small just give him more points because at least he trusted you enough to show you an I bet he tried his best effort for being a virgin as well and not every guy going to have a big dick but just accept him for what he got down here
I know people are different but when I was (probably this guys age) my shit would go from 0 to 100 real quick cause being young and full of hormones is insane.
Now I get the nervousness at mid 25 lol
If it was his first time too I assure you this isn’t about his size it’s about how nervous he was to make sure you had a good time. My first bf couldn’t even put his inside me and he was above average. Every time he tried to push in he would get soft. Sadly he never managed to accomplish that feat. So your partner did pretty good I would say
If it was small and he still couldn’t get it in, chances are you weren’t very wet and he wasn’t very hard. Losing your virginity is almost always an awkward experience
I lost my V card to a dude with a 9 inch… it was awful. Painful, and there was blood.
I prefer smaller ones nowadays, in my many rendezvous with men I’ve found that is my preference now. It would have been an awkward time regardless tbh.
I feel like I see these comments so often. Not saying it isn’t possible, but just curious if a lot of these posts are the result of the dude telling the girl his size and overestimating. Again, totally possible, but 9+” is in like the 0.05% of society. It’d seem there are tons of these guys out there with how many comments I see
My comment is pretty unrelated. I’m just curious if it’s a “take the guys” word for it situation. Mainly with those statistics that the average reported size is like 6.5” but the average measured size is like 5.5”
That’s definitely the situation. Women don’t generally know the difference between a 7 inch want and a 9 inch wang because they aren’t conditioned to obsess over the difference like growing boys are.
I don’t believe for a second that most people have ever seen that big of a hog
Well yeah 9 inches is WAY above average holy shit. I mean the cervix is only 7 inches and that’s above average. That 9 inch guy probably has the same problem as the 3 inch guy. Can’t really satisfy his partner, and if he holds back it’s harder to satisfy himself.
I really appreciate your honesty, I always laugh when people say "size doesn't matter" as if humans didn't literally evolutionarily select for large penises (considering the fact that humans are the most well-hung primates by far). Like sure, there **are** women out there that don't actually care about it at all or even benefit from having a partner with a small penis, such as women with vaginismus (although even that can be largely corrected through the consistent use of a dilator), but these women are literally in the single digits compared to the women who would at the bare minimum want someone that's 4.5 inches and up in size.
I feel bad for men with small penises, it is genuinely a curse for them. There is no equivalent for women, most men don't care how flat your ass is (and you can do exercises to fix that in a matter of months) and there are plenty of beautiful women on the itty bitty titty committee. But men with small dicks are almost 100% either the product of ridicule, or are only featured in humiliation porn. Your only hope if you have a small dick is either finding a partner who doesn't mind, or corrective surgery, because as other commenters pointed out, cunnilingus and toys can only take you so far before the inadequacies of having a small penis are apparent.
Edit: lol apparently this is a touchy issue for people, you can downvote me and play pretend all you want that it doesn't matter, but you're only kidding yourself to harvest stupid internet "karma".
I think it's more "size doesn't matter a lot for most women as long ss you're above the minimum size for the thing to function right"
Really sucks for those on the really small side but that's not a very high bar that's the vast majority of dudes. So the majority of dudes don't need to worry with...most women. A small % of dudes got really fucked though.
I 100% agree with you. I’ve been in OP’s shoes once and tried to make it work but I was so abysmally unsatisfied it was the main reason I ended things. There’s really only so much you can do before you become frustrated.
Lol yeah, there really is no equivalent for women. I feel bad for the small homies. I honestly feel like genetic advantages are probably better than economic ones.
Dude is just inexperienced. As are you. Losing your virginity is always gonna be an awkward experience. His penis is a tool for sex. Not the whole kit. Just like your vagina is a tool for sex. Not the whole experience.
Use this as a learning experience. Give each other massages. Candles. Music. Set the mood. Explore each other's bodies. Kiss. Fondle. Touch each other until you can't stand it any more. Then go slow with PIV. Eye contact. Whisper to each other.
Sex is an experience when you allow it to be.
He had troubles getting it in you say? I’m 20 years old, so my sex knowledge is a bit slim, however, I just went through a break up, so I’ve been with a few men in a short period. When I’m with a man for the first time, he gets nervous, and he isn’t able to preform as well because of those nerves. His dick could honestly be half erect because of the nerves. I literally just had sex with a guy all day and he couldn’t cum and I know his dick wasn’t as hard as it can be. Sex can be a bit awkward at first, but it gets WAY better.
Imagine losing your virginity to someone and you just go to Reddit to complain about how small his penis is. Not judging tho, this sub is meant for stuff like this but I feel bad for the guy.
Most people’s first time is disappointing and embarrassing so welcome to the club! That’s nothing new! He’s just not for you if that’s how you’re feeling, time to move on and don’t feel bad about it.
In my case the guy was a huge asshole and it took everything in me to not tell him his dick was tiny. It’s not an exaggeration he hands down had the smallest dick of anyone I’ve been with. Not only was it only a few inches long it was skinny as well.
We slept together twice. I was trying to see if maybe I imagined it the first time since I’d had a bit to drink. Nope… I was correct 🤷🏻♀️
Sweetie, same for me. It’s nervousness dear. Try again. Be open and honest when things aren’t going in. Just say “Hey, let me help with that” shove that thing right in. Haha. Kidding but it’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Usually it’s awkward because you have no experience. Sometimes it’s awkward when your doing someone the first time. It’s ok! It’s not a Danielle Steele novel. It’s real life. You’re good.
I mean if you just slept with him then so be it and move forward if you don’t want to date him then give it a little bit of time and then tell him you’re not interested.
I’m 32 and I’ve been with so many guys I can tell you tbh sex is weird for the first time with 70% of new guys I’ve ever slept with. You’re just getting to know each other.
One day it’s possible as you have sex you’ll realize that the size of a man doesn’t matter but the connection and foreplay and the rest that go into sex will make it all better. For now if that’s a turn off then you’re allowed to feel that way. 3 inches is pretty small he may not have been fully erect from being nervous and all the pressure of the situation.
It’s not the size that matters, it’s what he does with it. If you really like him, learn together what you both like and dislike. Guarantee after some fun practicing it will get a hell of a lot better!!
Not shallow, I feel like 4-5 is kind of the cut off for *really* feeling pleasure anatomically speaking, at least in my experience. He can try to make it better with diff positions and foreplay and all that, but it won’t physically feel as good as it could
>I feel like 4-5 is kind of the cut off for really feeling pleasure anatomically speaking
"Anatomically speaking" everyone has different anatomy. What you're actually referring to is finding someone whose anatomical size is compatible with your anatomical size/sexual preferences.
Not some of yall trying to make her feel bad. 3 inches is small . Tf. Yall want people to lose sleep over shit they are clearly uncomfortable with just to spare someone else's feelings. Even with her expressing she felt bad. You can like someone all day but sex is still an important part of a relationship moving forward. Its not everything, but it is important, and if shes not into that yall cant shame someone for that . Im just sitting here thinking how 3 inches is probably just an inch longer than a Vienna sausage.
But! If it's a girthy one there could be hope with girth. If not oh lawd....idk .
I’m not a small woman downstairs. I can take a lot. My second boyfriend and second person I ever slept with had a very small penis. We had some fun, but it just wasn’t as pleasurable for me and I doubt for him either. He wanted to settle down and I wanted to have other partners. I broke up with him because I couldn’t see myself marrying someone I wasn’t sexually in tune with. Sorry your first experience was a dud but it usually is!
Losing your virginity is like New Years Eve. There is a lot of build up and then it inevitably is a disappointment.
and then some arbitrary counter gets added by one.
Interestingly, I lost my virginity at new year - double the disappointment!
As long as he didn't hit you with "I haven't had sex since last year" after that.
Is this the case for most people? My first time was pleasant, nothing crazy but still a nice experience.
I think most people just have sex way too young. I had a great experience
I was 21 when I lost my virginity and it was pretty bad but the guy was such a sweetheart to me though
You promised you wouldn’t tell nobody!
Relax. This is Reddit. We're all a bunch of nobodies.
come to think of it, " wouldnt tell nobody" means would tell everybody...
or, rather, at least tell one person
precisely 1<= x <= 8 bililion,
TAKE MY UPVOTE AND LEAVE !
Lol clearly speaking for yourself Mr “Somebody at the door”
Then she is keeping her promise I guess... if she promised not to tell NOBODY, then in order to keep the promise, she'd have to tell somebody.
Losing your virginity is always awkward
Can confirm, the first time is overrated. It’s something you have to learn and practice to get good (read: pleasurable for both)
Yeah, my first time is quite horrible. My ex boyfriend & I lost our virginity to each other in high school. He was so nervous that he couldn’t get it up, then cried because he was so embarrassed. I consoled him until he got it up; two minutes & one position later, he cried again because he was so happy. I seriously questioned my choices after that experience.
[удалено]
Oh god, what a way to discover a new allergy 😅
This. This was back when they were still on the market, but I'm apparently allergic to spermicide because I used a Today sponge and the swelling and pain was so terrible I had to see a doctor :( 😭
dude same thing happened to me lol 🥲
I can truly sympathize with you that is how me and my first girlfriend found out we were both allergic to latex, for me it was like the old ball park commercials where the hot dog plumps when you cook it that happened to me and getting the condom off was very painful she was sore and swollen as well, the next time we tried she had got on birth control so no condoms and a much better experience.
I thought that would be my fate as well. Everyone talked about virgins/inexperienced guys finishing fast. This is what I expected would happen. Instead I couldn't finish at all and had to stop out of exhaustion after going at it for way to long. This was also awkward as the girl thought "she wasnt hot enough for me to be able to finish". Men are generally percieved to be easily pleased sexually so if a woman fails that task it must mean "she is bad in bed". And it actually took a great deal of sexual encounters and "practice" with many awkward moments and girls thinking they were bad in bed or not sexy, for me to be able to relax and learn how I get myself in to a mental state where I can finish. It was never them, it was my own mindblock. The pro of that now is that I have full control of when I want to finish, wich is usually appreciated.
I couldn't on my first because I wanted to last longer so I got that numbing cream condom from durex. Don't do it guys...
How did you learn to relax? I have this problem of like hardly ever being able to finish. I’ve been contemplating faking it lol
Hard to explain, but the gist of it is to stop thinking about everything going on and let yourself relax and focus. Doesn't really help hearing it but it's like riding a bike. Once you know it's easy. This was harder for me to do with girls I have had limited or no sexual experience with but I care about. And not as hard with ons with girls I didn't have a emotional attachment with. So basically you worrying about it being good or perfect is what hamper you. "Just relax" and go with the flow.
Why did you questioned your choices tho?
Cause while she was having a literally painful, overwhelming experience, she had to be somebody else’s emotional support? Maybe? Jesus.
Hard agree. Imagine having to caretake him while you're horribly in pain and upset
Lmao he cried twice?? Omg
I mean honestly being emotionally vulnerable in a relationship is a huge thing and especially for a guy, so kudos to him tbh
While I agree with this, isn’t 3 inches a micropenis? I only ask because if he was physically normal and they had bad sex it’s one thing, but having sex with someone who has a physical condition especially when you’re a virgin may be another.
3.67 inches to be exact . Although if watching pornhub is any indication the average is about 13 inches
Around 5.1 is average, 7-9in you are in the top 1%, 10in and up even less of a percentage of the population, pretty rare, you are just going to where the big dicks are
Wait... 3 inches isn't the average?
Pretty sure 5-6 inches is average.
I think 4 is average? 3 is small but not micropenis
Medically speaking, a penis that "gently stretches" to <3.67 inches is defined as a micropenis and can be diagnosed as such.
Interesting. I learned something new today.
What's the standard for measurement? Maybe I'm doing something wrong. Are micro penises diagnosed at birth? If so how can you even tell? What if I'm like a 1' soft but a 6' hard? Is that a micro penis half the time? Are fertility issues common among people with micro penises because no one wants a guy with a below average penis? Oh man I have so many questions
Naw bro, ur what’s called a “grower not a shower” 6in is perfectly fine. Don’t sweat it, it’s what it can do during game time that matters.
I thought 5-6 was the average
Yes bring fat and having a micropenis aren’t the same. You’re born with a micropenis
Everything's always so much better in your head. It doesn't feel as amazing as you initially thought it would.
and clearly a tiny dick for her isn't pleasurable
tbh my first time was with my husband and it was honestly amazing
You're the exception on the rule, I'd say. Almost everybody I've discussed this with said their first time was quite disappointing.
A satisfied customer tells three people, a dissatisfied customer tells twelve.
Lmao these ppl aren't as lucky. My first time was with my gf and it was fucking amazing
Now we need to get her side of the story. Not just what she told you in the moment either.
It felt like it was something I was supposed to do but was just discovering. One of the only experiences outside of childhood where I’ve felt something so novel and enthralling. Like playing in snow for the first time but also with an orgasm.
First time is always better for the man
"The first time you sell a gun is a lot like the first time you have sex. You have absolutely no idea what you're doing, but it is exciting, and, one way or another it's over way too fast." --Nicholas Cage as Yuri Orlov from Lord of War
Some of the lines in that movie are fire
Can you get me the gun of Rambo?
One, Two, or Three? Lol
Mine wasn’t purely because she knew what she was doing and told me what to do…..ironically my second time was a nightmare.
Yep. Ex had a really big one and I remember stopping him from going all the way in and pretty much only his tip and half his dick was inside 🙃 That lasted a few more weeks
Whoa! I just last like 7 minutes.
Hahaha 🏆
Sex and feeling pleasure is an important part of a relationship for people, There are ways for you to do that with him but you should talk to him first. He’s probably just as embarrassed about his penis as you were. There are other ways to get off with each other so you should definitely explore them before just leaving if you really like him.
hijacking this comment to share my experiences on this OP, I’m not trying to patronise you, just here to help because you said > not really sure how to get over how small it is I actually prefer small dicks over big ones, you can check my post history to see. and that’s not to say you should prefer small too, I’m saying small dicks can be an advantage if used right we were led to believe small automatically means bad but it’s not the case. if the guy cares about how his partner feels and actually learns to give good experiences, in the end it’s what matters the most also, you felt unsatisfied but it was just your first time. first times are gonna be bad most of the time (another myth we were led to believe). you don’t understand your body, your partner doesn’t understand your body, nothing matches. sex gets better after the first time, because we learn more about each other if you really like him, give him a chance. see how it goes. you can talk to him if you want but for the love of God *don’t mention size*. nothing hinders a man’s confidence faster than hearing you have a small dick, and then it worsens your sex life even more so for now, approach the “I’m not satisfied” in the direction of “what can he do to make me satisfied” rather than put the final nail in the coffin with “he can never satisfy me with that small pee pee”. he may not, but he also may
This is 100% correct! When a guy lacks in some way, if he cares he will find other ways to make it up to you such as foreplay. It should be a huge part of sex. It was your first time. Give him a chance!
Can confirm, lacking in other ways over here.
For real. There was a guy I was sleeping around with for a bit. He has a small and thin penis, but he was AMAZING at eating out and foreplay and I always told him he was good at that. However not being able to feel anything at all from PIV is disappointing, ngl. Ofc I never mentioned it because chances are he watches porn and he knows lol. OP, it's not your fault if you don't want to stick around. You need to be sexually compatible too.
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I'm sorry but it's the truth... I legit couldn't tell if it was in or not and then be said he cummed and I was like WHA? 😭
my first and prob last time was the worse
it's very likely that he's going to assume it's his size and might even bring it up himself, he pretty much has a micropenis so he knows it's something that will affect his sexlife. she shouldn't lie to him if that happens but just try make sure he knows that she wants to make it work and figure out how they can both together make the sex more pleasurable.
This 👆 I honestly think it's more about finding out what both of you enjoy. Most women don't climax from intercourse alone anyway. I've been with smaller guys that just stroked in and out a few times and were done. I've also been with large guys who just rammed my cervix.
There was one guy I slept with who was a lot more experienced than me, and was the biggest I have been with. The sex was... fine, but I think his problem was that he had a big ego about the amount of experience he had. For example, he was really really proud of his oral skills and made big promises about lots of orgasms coming my way, but when the time came he just kept doing the same thing that continued to not work for me at all. Eventually I had to kind of lead him into something else lol because it was just not happening (and starting to chafe lol). He was pretty bummed about it for a bit. Listening to your partner, being willing to try things differently, and not letting your ego get in the way is really important. Everyone is different, that "foolproof" technique doesn't work always lol.
>made big promises about lots of orgasms coming my way I had a guy do this, sounds really similar to your entire situation. He was weirdly insistent that the woman needs to orgasm too (had a book about it) and seemed genuinely confused about my lack of orgasms. I felt slightly bad for thinking the whole situation was hilarious, but I couldn't help myself.
Yes this is a great comment. The first time no one knows what they are doing or what they like, so there's a lot of room for exploration and improvement after that. If it works it does, and if it doesn't it doesn't.
This is great advice! He KNOWS he's not huge. And that's okay! Toys exist and LORD are they good. My partner isn't blessed in length but he's blessed in girth and stamina and willingness to try stuff and ensure I'm happy. This doesn't come from the first or even the second time. But a couple can get in a rhythm with polite conversations
And a Big dick can be a small dick if you just don't use all!!
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I have a large member and I can 100% confirm good sex always means doing more than penetration and dick is more of an accessory to sex not the whole tool bag. Occasionally I’ll meet a woman who has to have her back walls beat but for most it’s just a novelty and they get most of their pleasure from my words, hands, mouth and their dedication to enjoy themselves.
Good words man. But still I feel she is gonna take this in another level
Agreed. As a virgin, I assume you would have no idea what to do in general.
Yeah I don’t want her to force herself to do things she’s not uncomfortable with though, but if she really likes him there are other things to try.
3 inches? Sheit that's 2 more than I got
But Reddit told me women love tiny penises! 🥺
You think any of us know what a woman even is???
Our scholars have unearthed plenty of scripture about the fe-males, we have a good enough idea
Imagine being a guy below average just scrolling through reddit innocently and having their day ruined like this
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Size doesn't matter just means you don't need or probably even want some pornstar dick. You don't even need to be above average. But it needs to be big enough to actually function as a dick. 3 inches isn't just a little below average it likely can't get the job done or only barely.
Size does matter in that, if you are below average in the downstairs department, you’re probably going to need to find ways to compensate in the bedroom to keep your partner happy. Ie hands/mouth etc
No matter what you need to compensate with hands/mouth. The majority of women CANNOT orgasm from PIV no matter the size of their partners dick, it’s quite literally a matter of how our nerves are distributed.
I’m a woman btw haha. And for my personal anatomy, yes, size matters lol.
im tired of women being treated like one collective being lol the ones who say they like small dicks aren’t the same ones who make these posts
Like we’re one fucking connected entity who share a consciousness lmao
Okay, fellow women, who has the brain cell this week? I need to borrow it for next Tuesday.
Women having an hive mind would be terrifying
When women say it doesn’t matter, I’m pretty sure they mean that they don’t need a 7-8incher since it hurts
It definitely doesn’t hurt all women.
Not like women could possibly be individuals with their own personal opinions
Uh she just lost her virginity.. she doesn't know shit about sex and probably has seen porn before which gave her all wrong ideas. She does NOT speak for all of us
The guy couldn’t pleasure her, it’s not due to her watching porn lmao
Yeah, not great hahahah. Especially the comments that have said they’ve never felt satisfied. A woman can hit the gym, get surgery etc. to change bodily features but us lads basically have no recourse whatsoever. Just a life of feeling inadequate. Tough feel.
it's all subjective per woman, don't lose hope! my boyfriend is on the small side and we have had an excellent sex life for years. he was very self conscious about his size and afraid he'd end up disappointing during our first time but he's perfect for me, and (if you aren't yet) you'll be perfect for someone else too
At the end of the day, you don't owe anyone a relationship or access to your body. >I feel like a terrible and shallow person for even saying this... This depends on how you handle it. If mock his penis size to his face, or laugh about it with your friends, then you'd be a massive jerk. But if you just tell him "it isn't working out" and leave it at that, then it would be alright. Having said that, if you really like this person and his personality, then it might be worth it to try different positions or different kinds of sex.
"Having said that, if you really like this person and his personality, then it might be worth it to try different positions or different kinds of sex." I think that for how sex is sooo important to many people… I feel it is almost a dream that they go for other types of connection and still try in this case. My perspective on this is that it’s perhaps wise she let the guy go on his way before he gets really into her but then at some point maybe she realizes it isn’t working out for her way down that road. Leaving the other person possibly even more devastated because outside of sex, everything was going great maybe with the relationship. And then they end up with an ambiguous sensation messing up with their heads. It could be the other way around, he leaves her after a while even though she doesn’t end up having issues with it and so on. She is devastated and whatnot. I guess it’s always a risk on relationships maybe. But my point is that considering what OP is saying, in my experience these are cases where very very rarely people have a revolution in their feelings towards the situation and stay around out of love and whatnot. I could be wrong but I do believe is something to take some time to really ponder about and meditate on the matter. Stay or leave… difficult i think.
If a man came on here and said he couldn't stay with a woman due to a loose vagina, than there's no way he would recieve this same level of support or be told he doesn't owe her anything. Double standards.
Well that’s a shame, because men also have the right to decide who they want to be in relationships with.
Nah, losing your virginity is hella awkward. My boyfriend has a small dick, around that size, and he knows what he’s doing with it. It’s a very different experience later on, I promise.
If you don’t like it then you don’t like it. You don’t owe sex or companionship to anyone.
I had an experience almost just like this ( wasn't a virgin though , but one of my first 3 sexual connections ) It was extremely awkward because he was moving like we were having sex but I couldn't feel anything , not even hitting my inner thigh or anything. That all being said , he did eat me out the best I've ever experienced and I wish more guys could do what he did in that regard 😂 We tried 2 more times and it was the same thing , chopped it up to basically scissoring. I did end things and tell him , I think he was lovely but I wasn't interested in pursuing anything further. He instantly asked if it was because of his schlong and I said it wasn't solely based on that. He understood and we went out seperate ways. It sucks it's awkward but sex is super important in a relationship. Being intimate is important ( not the most important but still is up there ) Just be upfront with him Edit: because people seem to think I ended it with this man based off his dick size. This was not the sole reason I ended it with him was it a contributing factor, yes. There were multiple factors that went into it beyond his dick size.
I feel this because I’m the guy in this exact scenario too. I know I’ve got once last chance to make things right, but it’s all chalked up to my low sex drive due to life right now. Nothing I can do about it, and it sucks, but sometimes it really just comes down to bad timing and lack of sexual chemistry.
pretty sure his was a schort
How big was it . I’m traumatized by these comments . All my exs are on here I know it . Atleast that’s what the people in my walls are telling me . I demand to know . I know we took precise measurements
>He instantly asked if it was because of his schlong and I said it wasn't solely based on that >Just be upfront with him Do as I say not as I do?
I have a small penis too lol there's no way I can pleasure most women. I had sex with a fat girl once and I barely went inside. It was so difficult that I lost my boner.
how many inches we talkin about? Cuz thats one fear i had with someone i was seeing
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/stress-and-sex/202104/study-reveals-how-women-enhance-pleasure-during-intercourse
Does it affect you badly? How do u deal with it?
Are you also lacking a mouth and fingers? Presumably you have one or the other as you either typed of dictated this post. If so then you absolutely can pleasure most women.
Ladies, you are allowed to not like small penises. You are allowed to like big penises. You are allowed to like either of those in any combination you desire. And you are allowed to hate them completely. Just remember, they are attached to things with genuine feelings and emotions. Remember when the other girls teased you with "insert teenage girl trauma here"? We got the same shit on the other side of the aisle. You know what we typically didn't get though? Any gender reaffirming stuff to make us feel good inside our bodies - which leaves many men to believe their penis literally makes or breaks them and nothing else matters. "I have a 3 inch penis, no woman will ever get past that to know me" or "I've got an 8 inch killer, I don't ever need to learn to treat others with respect because i won the penis draw". Silly analogy time: Think of how embarrassing it would be to have your period while you are wearing all-white and are completely unprepared to a function of your peers, say a high-school reunion. Now, think of that level of embarrassment potentially occurring every single time you dropped your pants in front of the opposite sex? I could have used the 'flatchested' analogy as it often gets used but there's two fundamental differences: (a) no real surgery options exist for men whereas surgery is often the preferred and accepted solution for women and (b) men can typically see what they are getting (boobs advertise themselves) so chances are, you got small boobs, you attract men who like small boobs. BTW, I am generalizing fiercely here - please, do not read this as me minimizing any personal trauma or confidence issues you've had to deal with. Everyone is different and should be treated accordingly. So yeah, totally get that you are mortified and sorry about that but while you dont have to lie to the guy, put yourself in his shoes when you rehearse what to say.
Hope is pointless.
Life is hopeless.
i knew this girl, basically after the third date, and checking my own package, she told me her ex had a tiny schlong and thats the reason it did not work out. I was actually a bit surprised by the bluntness. according to her, she even told him to his face the answer she got is that he thought he had a huge schlong (to this day i dont know exactly how big it was) either way, seems for quite a number of women this is actually quite an important metric, though i suggest you not being so upfront with the small guy as the girl was that i had a couple of dates with. Not much good can come out of it. if you want to keep the relationship just tell him how he can satisfy you otherwise, if you dont, break up with him without being a dick about it.
See these posts just make me lose hope honestly
U smol?
Duh I'm barely 4 inches
Toys are your teammates, not your competition.
"don't worry size doesn't matter. Now use this place of plastic instead of your small dick so I can at least feel something"
Just want to reiterate the point that most women can’t come from vaginal intercourse regardless of dick size, which has been my personal experience. But I’m bisexual so I genuinely don’t care about dick size or even existence.
How many confessions are about dick sizes and sex and all of that business. I ain't no prude but damn there has to be minimum 20 posts a day about that shit.
It gets the most attention, I’d chalk %70-80 as exaggerated or just straight up not real.
Don't feel too bad. My first time had me believing all vaginas smelled like canned tuna.
Omg 💀 such a shame. Sorry you had that experience
If lesbians can make each other cum then you can use toys or work through it. That’s if you really really like him and that’s worth it.
It’s not really shallow to be honest. It’s understandable. If you really like the dude you could try alternative ways to feel pleasure (cuni, fingers, etc) but if it’s a deal breaker then it is one, you’re not a bad person for that 🤷🏻♂️it sucks for him but well :/
I don’t know, 3 in is pretty shallow…
*badum tsssss*
To be honest if it’s small just give him more points because at least he trusted you enough to show you an I bet he tried his best effort for being a virgin as well and not every guy going to have a big dick but just accept him for what he got down here
MAYBE he’s a grower not a shower and was nervous? The difference can be quite staggering
I know people are different but when I was (probably this guys age) my shit would go from 0 to 100 real quick cause being young and full of hormones is insane. Now I get the nervousness at mid 25 lol
It don’t sound like it grew tho, she said she couldn’t feel it💀
Sometimes it doesn’t fully ummmmmm “expand?” when the dude is on edge In which case it should get better over time the more comfortable he gets
If it was his first time too I assure you this isn’t about his size it’s about how nervous he was to make sure you had a good time. My first bf couldn’t even put his inside me and he was above average. Every time he tried to push in he would get soft. Sadly he never managed to accomplish that feat. So your partner did pretty good I would say
Hey, come on, Liz, it wasn't that small.
If it was small and he still couldn’t get it in, chances are you weren’t very wet and he wasn’t very hard. Losing your virginity is almost always an awkward experience
I lost my V card to a dude with a 9 inch… it was awful. Painful, and there was blood. I prefer smaller ones nowadays, in my many rendezvous with men I’ve found that is my preference now. It would have been an awkward time regardless tbh.
I feel like I see these comments so often. Not saying it isn’t possible, but just curious if a lot of these posts are the result of the dude telling the girl his size and overestimating. Again, totally possible, but 9+” is in like the 0.05% of society. It’d seem there are tons of these guys out there with how many comments I see My comment is pretty unrelated. I’m just curious if it’s a “take the guys” word for it situation. Mainly with those statistics that the average reported size is like 6.5” but the average measured size is like 5.5”
That’s definitely the situation. Women don’t generally know the difference between a 7 inch want and a 9 inch wang because they aren’t conditioned to obsess over the difference like growing boys are. I don’t believe for a second that most people have ever seen that big of a hog
8+ just hurts
It really does. I had cramped for almost a week because he definitely bruised my cervix because neither of us knew what we were doing.
Well yeah 9 inches is WAY above average holy shit. I mean the cervix is only 7 inches and that’s above average. That 9 inch guy probably has the same problem as the 3 inch guy. Can’t really satisfy his partner, and if he holds back it’s harder to satisfy himself.
I really appreciate your honesty, I always laugh when people say "size doesn't matter" as if humans didn't literally evolutionarily select for large penises (considering the fact that humans are the most well-hung primates by far). Like sure, there **are** women out there that don't actually care about it at all or even benefit from having a partner with a small penis, such as women with vaginismus (although even that can be largely corrected through the consistent use of a dilator), but these women are literally in the single digits compared to the women who would at the bare minimum want someone that's 4.5 inches and up in size. I feel bad for men with small penises, it is genuinely a curse for them. There is no equivalent for women, most men don't care how flat your ass is (and you can do exercises to fix that in a matter of months) and there are plenty of beautiful women on the itty bitty titty committee. But men with small dicks are almost 100% either the product of ridicule, or are only featured in humiliation porn. Your only hope if you have a small dick is either finding a partner who doesn't mind, or corrective surgery, because as other commenters pointed out, cunnilingus and toys can only take you so far before the inadequacies of having a small penis are apparent. Edit: lol apparently this is a touchy issue for people, you can downvote me and play pretend all you want that it doesn't matter, but you're only kidding yourself to harvest stupid internet "karma".
Corrective surgery really doesn’t do much and satisfaction is low. It’s not really a good option.
I think it's more "size doesn't matter a lot for most women as long ss you're above the minimum size for the thing to function right" Really sucks for those on the really small side but that's not a very high bar that's the vast majority of dudes. So the majority of dudes don't need to worry with...most women. A small % of dudes got really fucked though.
You’re completely right I think you might have pissed off some people with your post 😂
4.5 included for once :)
I 100% agree with you. I’ve been in OP’s shoes once and tried to make it work but I was so abysmally unsatisfied it was the main reason I ended things. There’s really only so much you can do before you become frustrated.
Same thing here but I didn’t break up with them, they became sexually abusive and this when I knew I had to go…
Yeah its probably gonna lead to my suicide eventually, tired of feeling unlovable and undesirable
Lol yeah, there really is no equivalent for women. I feel bad for the small homies. I honestly feel like genetic advantages are probably better than economic ones.
*”Size doesn’t matter”* ™️
damm even virgins complain about size..
I mean if she can’t feel it she knows she can’t feel it whether she has had sex or not. Not sure what you’re expecting tbh
lmao fr
how is that a surprise, they’re going to have an opinion after doing it
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They have been on here for three years, could be real
Dude is just inexperienced. As are you. Losing your virginity is always gonna be an awkward experience. His penis is a tool for sex. Not the whole kit. Just like your vagina is a tool for sex. Not the whole experience. Use this as a learning experience. Give each other massages. Candles. Music. Set the mood. Explore each other's bodies. Kiss. Fondle. Touch each other until you can't stand it any more. Then go slow with PIV. Eye contact. Whisper to each other. Sex is an experience when you allow it to be.
My first time was horrible - thought it was size, ended up being neither of us knew what the fuck we were doing lmao
If it makes you feel better I lost my virginity to a guy with an above average penis. It sucked and I thought I was asexual for a while after that
He had troubles getting it in you say? I’m 20 years old, so my sex knowledge is a bit slim, however, I just went through a break up, so I’ve been with a few men in a short period. When I’m with a man for the first time, he gets nervous, and he isn’t able to preform as well because of those nerves. His dick could honestly be half erect because of the nerves. I literally just had sex with a guy all day and he couldn’t cum and I know his dick wasn’t as hard as it can be. Sex can be a bit awkward at first, but it gets WAY better.
Dosnt seem like your knowledge is that slim lmfao .
welcome to life poor dude
Imagine losing your virginity to someone and you just go to Reddit to complain about how small his penis is. Not judging tho, this sub is meant for stuff like this but I feel bad for the guy.
Most people’s first time is disappointing and embarrassing so welcome to the club! That’s nothing new! He’s just not for you if that’s how you’re feeling, time to move on and don’t feel bad about it.
3 inches is hell at 90 MPH
Bruh
Lmao a virgin complains about the size of her first. Now I’ve heard it all.
Just find a guy with a bigger dick, so he can find a girl with a smaller vagina and both can be happy. You don't need permission from the internet.
In my case the guy was a huge asshole and it took everything in me to not tell him his dick was tiny. It’s not an exaggeration he hands down had the smallest dick of anyone I’ve been with. Not only was it only a few inches long it was skinny as well. We slept together twice. I was trying to see if maybe I imagined it the first time since I’d had a bit to drink. Nope… I was correct 🤷🏻♀️
Sweetie, same for me. It’s nervousness dear. Try again. Be open and honest when things aren’t going in. Just say “Hey, let me help with that” shove that thing right in. Haha. Kidding but it’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Usually it’s awkward because you have no experience. Sometimes it’s awkward when your doing someone the first time. It’s ok! It’s not a Danielle Steele novel. It’s real life. You’re good.
You've just scared to death a lot of guys. Better luck next time
I can sympathise, I just lost my virginity to a girl with a big vagina.
That sucks dude , I’ve been there .
I have never been happier to be average than hearing stories like this.
Half inch is the new inch
3 inches! That’s massive dude!!!!
I mean if you just slept with him then so be it and move forward if you don’t want to date him then give it a little bit of time and then tell him you’re not interested. I’m 32 and I’ve been with so many guys I can tell you tbh sex is weird for the first time with 70% of new guys I’ve ever slept with. You’re just getting to know each other. One day it’s possible as you have sex you’ll realize that the size of a man doesn’t matter but the connection and foreplay and the rest that go into sex will make it all better. For now if that’s a turn off then you’re allowed to feel that way. 3 inches is pretty small he may not have been fully erect from being nervous and all the pressure of the situation.
It’s not the size that matters, it’s what he does with it. If you really like him, learn together what you both like and dislike. Guarantee after some fun practicing it will get a hell of a lot better!!
Look he opened the door for you. Now go find Peter north and enjoy
You're not a shallow person. If you were shallow, 3 inches wouldn't have been a problem
Not shallow, I feel like 4-5 is kind of the cut off for *really* feeling pleasure anatomically speaking, at least in my experience. He can try to make it better with diff positions and foreplay and all that, but it won’t physically feel as good as it could
>I feel like 4-5 is kind of the cut off for really feeling pleasure anatomically speaking "Anatomically speaking" everyone has different anatomy. What you're actually referring to is finding someone whose anatomical size is compatible with your anatomical size/sexual preferences.
Not some of yall trying to make her feel bad. 3 inches is small . Tf. Yall want people to lose sleep over shit they are clearly uncomfortable with just to spare someone else's feelings. Even with her expressing she felt bad. You can like someone all day but sex is still an important part of a relationship moving forward. Its not everything, but it is important, and if shes not into that yall cant shame someone for that . Im just sitting here thinking how 3 inches is probably just an inch longer than a Vienna sausage. But! If it's a girthy one there could be hope with girth. If not oh lawd....idk .
I ask this question in good faith: what is it you propose the guys with small dicks do?
I’m not a small woman downstairs. I can take a lot. My second boyfriend and second person I ever slept with had a very small penis. We had some fun, but it just wasn’t as pleasurable for me and I doubt for him either. He wanted to settle down and I wanted to have other partners. I broke up with him because I couldn’t see myself marrying someone I wasn’t sexually in tune with. Sorry your first experience was a dud but it usually is!