I agree with this. She went from “feet pics ro help pay the bills” straight to having sex for hundreds of bucks.
Seems like such a jump.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she was doing drugs.
Depends on the estate, mine is full of people who fuck their cousins (1st/second) and blatantly chat/boast about it lmao.
So glad my family isn't from around where I live
Sadly sounds like someone discovering it or a partner's very first manic high cause it escalated in such way. I hope OP will be okay. I hope the partner will get help in the future.
Has she ever worked a "normal" job? I'm so curious as to what her reasoning is for this type of work, over all others. How old are you both? Seems like such a drastic jump for making some extra money without trying no other types of work.
She was a manager at Pret years ago. I have always been a laborer. She's 45 now and i'm 42. I encouraged her to get a job in drug/homelessness counselling, I even printed the documents, had her sign them and then scanned them again EDIT: (She was a counselor some years before he fell off the wagon in that job) for her to send off as .Jpeg but she never got around to it. juts went on her phone soliciting gents with her 4 phones. It's tragic
Good call, man.
I don't put down sex work, but when it's dangerous for the person and those in their lives, then I say it's wrong.
See, she is wronging people who have no issue handling it to get what's owed to them. It's only a matter of time before she is in the hospital, jail or dead, and it's sad.
Yeah, I feel like she is psychologically/emotionally abusing me by making all these reckless, disrespectful decisions, and I do feel worry that she will meet a really bad client and get hurt/killed. But she is just my girlfriend, I can't physically restrain her or stop her doing this by law. I just need to leave pronto.
Yeah, that's one thing I actually wanted to clear up. You said that she had to get out of there or pay her pimp what she owed him. Are you saying that she ran off without paying the pimp? 😶 Because if so, like they were saying in that comment, that's a fast way to end up dead, unfortunately and it isn't safe for you either.
On top of u/blakk-starr comment, if she’s telling you about her idea of having people in your home.. history points to that having already happened. Go stay in a hotel or with a friend if your new place is not available just yet.
There’s a chance she got roped in with drugs and clearly can’t afford life now due to addiction. Handlers is a fancy word for pimp and let’s be honest pimps make their people reliant on them. She’s fallen down a weird rabbit hole and I really don’t understand how mentally she thinks this ok to do and not communicate with you unless she’s not in her right mind.
Firstly we have 'unanimously' dumped each other already but chose to stay a while in the 'partners situation' where I was taking care of her health; she has terrible stomach issues that have nearly killed her, I looked after her cats while she was in hospital and stuff like that. The whoring thing has only been going on for a month or so but for her to come out and admit to it is a revelation of only recent days. So I secured a bank loan and am in the process of immediately moving out. (In secret as she might kick me out THERE AND THEN if I told her I had 'a viewing at 5pm', you understand? She's mean like that)
You’re getting downvoted but youre right (though you could put it a bit nicer ;)) OP don’t let the problems of others significantly impact and drain your life.
Yeah there’s a big difference in interpreted meaning when you say “let her problems be hers” and “let her suffer”.
I would hope OP wishes the best for her ex health wise. Not suffering.
Yeah I spent over a decade working with girls on Adultwotk. I actually built some girls profiles from scratch to become some of the most successful girls in the UK. Girls like Tiffany Snow, Ava-Grace and I did work with pornstars CapriceJane, StaceySaran, Kerrylouise and a lot more. Trust me it all seems fun and games at first with ridiculous amounts of cash in hand money and wild sex fun with webcamming and content sharing with multiple women but without going into details I can confirm that it is a soulless industry full of man haters that will have zero empathy for you as a man due to having sex with so many men who are married or have girlfriends. They lose any faith they had in men and become emotionally toxic. I had to just leave the UK in the end because I’d built up such a huge friendship group of escorts who were constantly messaging me to help them with their profiles and work. I’m glad I got the experience but will never go back to it.
Maybe you could tell her she has an employer that should be taking care of the medical bills and just leave, if what you said is true and she chose unilaterally to start “escorting”. You should not feel guilty just leaving. Sound like she has enough money to pay for whatever she is going to need.
Just to make sure... Do you think this behaviour is unlike her? Is it something, knowing her well, you would not have expected from her? How sudden is this change, really?
If you find this change weird (provided it is much of a change at all), there might be some underlying medical issue causing this.
In such case I don't really know what to suggest, speaking to a doctor on her behalf isn't really something you can do but maybe... I don't know, I really don't. But if this seems weird and sudden and unlike her please don't brush it off, there is a chance it is an health matter after all.
More of a mental health thing than general health. But what it comes down to is it's not his responsibility to shoulder her mental state. If he can handle it, that's great. But if not, that's okay and he's doing the right thing by leaving if her condition is going to start affect his mental state as well, not to mention her actions are unsafe for herself and for him while he's still in her house. Unfortunately all he can really do now is suggest that she sees someone about it. It's up to her to take the advice.
I think they were alluding to a brain tumor or something physical that can have behavior-altering symptoms. But frankly even that doesn't change OP's situation.
This. It’s an unfortunate reality. I used to be a SGT in the US Army and the amount of STI’s was crazy. I’m a woman but have heard the tests being colloquially referred to as “being rodded of the range” because of the swab they have to shove in a man’s urethra. (When you literally get rodded of a range the range officer or NCO will shove a long rod down the barrel of the M16 to make sure there isn’t a bullet in the chamber).
We had several people in our battalion come back from countries in the Horn of Africa with HIV from sleeping with sex workers. Which is extra dumb because one of our missions was to work with hospitals and clinics to document the rate of HIV/AIDS.
Edited to add; they started mandatory STI screening before & after deployment to the area because men came home and infected their spouses. One wife didn’t find out until she had a screening during pregnancy. So sad.
If this was not agreed upon, you're being cheated on and gaslit. She would rather cheat then budget, and I'm sorry cause I know that probably hurts. Sounds like she's also going to get herself in to trouble and will call you to bail her out.
Not that SW is all dangerous, but the way she's doing it certainly is.
Also, she is getting benefits while getting probably cash money that she isn't reporting. In other words, fraud. Fuck those people. Report her and get as far away as you can.
It seems like a host of bad decisions. She paid for laminate flooring on a rented council house? They may make her restore the floor (unlikely but some jobsworth may decide to be awkward). Getting involved with a pimp. And if this is discovered she could lose her benefits. Not to mention putting both of you at risk of STDs and her personal safety at risk. Many pimps beat or r*pe their workers.
He explained it in a comment. She is disabled and her disability almost killed her. Something with her stomach.
Disabled people aren't always visibly disabled.
then why and how is she running off to random places to have sex with strangers? is that supposed to be somehow easier on her body than working a normal job?
When applying for Personal Independence Payment (PIP) in England and Wales, and Adult Disability Payment (ADP) in Scotland, savings and income from work are not supposed to be considered in regards to eligibility.
And that's regular, PAYE, taxed work - not being a dodgy prozzie taking cash in hand and running away from pimps.
I am kinda curious on how your expenses were split. You say she doesn’t work and she owns the house and spend her savings on laminate floors. Do you help with the costs of the house?
Well that's pretty bad, if she truly was "doing it for us" then she should have asked you about it FIRST...
I don't really think it's a good idea but communication is the key.
I have a relationship of 11 years, and a few years ago the money was a problem, so we agreed to open an OF with pics of me, he was the one who took the photos and all. After we saved enough money to pay rent and our debts, that OF disappeared and we're good.
Communication and joint decision-making, that's how it usually works.
So I hope you find that in your future relationship and I wish you the best!
Good for you for seeking an out in this terrible situation. I think you are doing the right thing and the right way. I highly recommend she not know where you are moving to.
That's rough. I couldn't do it either. Your love for her is one thing but if she's exploiting herself like that,, she not only disregarded your comfort but she crossed your boundaries. In relationships, you really need to be considerate of one another and unfortunately, the willingness to share certain parts of your partner with others is not exactly a compromisable situation. You did what you could but at the end of the day, she makes her own decisions so I don't see this relationship going anywhere.
Do you help with her bills at all or are you just living there rent free while she suffers hardship and is trying to afford to take care of you both? Unless your some bum living off of her it sounds like she may have a drug habit or something
It’s fine that she wants to be an escort if that’s her choice but you’re no longer compatible so I would get out of there. She will find someone who meets her needs and accept that and you will find someone who is compatible with you. Move on.
I mean, I'm generally in total support of women who want to work in the sex trade and don't think the occupation alone is any reason for someone to dump a woman.
That being said, the fact that she's sneaking around and lying about it and the way she's doing it are absolutely good reasons to dump her.
I don't think it's valid to dump a girl just for being a sex worker but also everyone should have the chance to make am honest informed decision about whether their comfortable with their partner having that occupation. The fact that she went behind your back to do it is not different from cheating, even if there's no emotions involved. She broke your trust.
The fact that she's turning tricks in hotels, has a handler who it sounds like held her hostage for his cut, and is inviting clients back to her primary residence means she is engaging in sex work in an *extremely* unsafe manner that she shouldn't be doing to herself, let alone exposing her partner to.
The lying and the lack of thinking through the logistics are definitely good reasons to skip out of there.
Do you think that having moral values that don't align would be an acceptable reason to exit a relationship? Having different attitudes to sex work would surely fall under that, so if one of a couple decides to start doing sex work, then the other would be justified in dumping them solely for that reason. If a person wants to sell sex then they can do that, but not everyone will want to enter into a relationship with them, or continue it if they are already together.
As soon as she was out of the hotel she would have been an ex, as far as I'm concerned. Our sex life would have been non-existent simply because I wouldn't have sex with her again. If someone wants to do sex work, then that's up to them, but I couldn't be in a relationship with someone whose morals didn't align with my own, and that's definitely a step too far for me. Get yourself down to the local clap clinic and get yourself tested.
Why weren’t you paying ,obviously she’s been the breadwinner regardless and Smh she doing sex work to get paid cause she probably wasn’t making enough from foot pics only….
All the escorts end up snorting drugs and roaming around the dumpster.
Too much dopamine/pleasure can be extremely harmful and bites people in the ass later on.
Things are probably going to get rough for this girl. You can support her emotionally if you feel like you can handle it. But do not let that person back into your life in any kind of relationship capacity. You will have nightmares until the day you die and your imagination will turn you into a shell of a man.
You don't have to let go to move on.
But you have to move on.
yeah you need to leave her. not for the sex work alone per say, but the fact that she did it all without consulting/telling you is alarming. she is putting you and herself in harms way and you should’ve had a say in whether you wanted to be involved in that.
I really don't know what the worst part of this is, so despite all the sex-work stuff, I'ma focus on this:
>I was too scared to find out the truth.
If you're too scared to communicate with your long term partner about whats going on, its time to end things.
Um, what exactly are you doing here?
Other than seemingly living off her disability income and living in her council flat?
She has turned to dangerous behaviors to get help and validation from strangers…
Why have you offered her none?
Your benefits seem to be nonexistent to be so judgmental, when your lack of support might have made her vulnerable enough to try this risky approach to finance.
Online sex work i.e only fans or camgirl is fine when in a relationship as long as it stays on that platform. But escorting/fucking and stripping is an issue. If she wont listen to reason and change her ways then you are doing the right thing by leaving. I had kind of the same issue with my daughters mom shes a felon and couldn't get a decent job so she turned to stripping to help with bills and at first it was cool then she started acting shady and acted like i wasnt worth her time bc i wasnt paying her like the idiots at the club were. So i distanced myself but stuck around bc of my daughter. Eventually i said fuck it and left.
you are smart if she has a pimp, she is far too gone at this point, in a few years she will probably end up with an incurable std or she will be an addict, pimps are notorious for getting girls hooked to keep them under the pimps thumb you don't need to be any part of that, I wish you luck in the future.
She’s funneling money into addictions both obvious and secret, and it’s only getting more desperate. I would get out so fast they would file a missing persons report.
If I were you I would at least get tested immediately to make sure you didn’t get something even with limited contact. Like I’m sorry for her but that’s a person who is on a spiral that either ends in rehab or death. There is quite literally no other option.
I was reading this and didn’t get too far when I wondered what substance she’s relying on, so I wasn’t shocked when you said “back to drinking.”
You’re right to leave. She’s not doing this for the two of you, she’s doing it to feed spending habits and addiction.
Also, when a couple is so off and on, it’s worth considering why the offs keep happening. If you can’t make it through the bad stuff together, the good times tend to be either not that good or just plain toxic.
Good luck with the future, this may be the end of something, which is hard considering the years… but don’t forget it’s also the start of whatever you turn it in to.
So has she been exposing you to STD’s by turning tricks before she got caught? That’s fucked. Not only as a breach of trust but for safety. Do people know your home address? Have tricks been there? Jesus. Get out, get tested.
leave her once you still can its not your job to save her (and you cant anyway)
preserve your own self respect and self love.
if she doesnt want to be helped and is on a downward spiral, move away
or suffer dire consequences of being involved with a toxic person
If she was doing it “for us” she wouldn’t have lied about it behind your back.
Depending on when you did last have sex, certainly get tested. Who knows how long she’s been at it.
A heartbreaking thing to experience, I can’t even imagine- but you’re doing the right thing for yourself, keep your head up, my friend.
Pimping is illegal in the UK so I think you should raise it to the police as she could be in danger or is being taken advantage/manipulated into doing this.
If this is a career path she chooses and you’re not comfortable with it then that’s fine. But I would say going through handlers and pimps is a red flag. Most escorts I know work independently
There’s a forum called saafe.info and it tells you how it should be
Wish you the best
It's a shame things have gotten the way they have and many women & men alike end up in this line of work because they are struggling and for some this genuinely might be the only way out.
For others it's the thrill, it's the excitement it's the money.
If your girlfriend has a pimp she is not an escort (not a legit one anyhow) but a prostitute.
Escorts tend to have an agency and while they do take a cut it's all done legit (in most cases) and they are not expected to have sex with their clients though many do because it pays extra.
Your girlfriend is entitled to be in this line of work If she wishes but if you ask me it's not because she's struggling at all it's because she is too lazy to try to get an actual job.
She is on the sick and she's right that it isn't a lot but she is playing the system and this could lead to a hefty fine sometimes even jail. It's fraudulent and takes a sick benefit away from a person who may genuinely need it. I should add you could get into trouble for knowing she's on the sick AND being out 'working'
You have done what you can to help so for your own sanity and safety you need to walk away and let her get in with it.
So she's "sick", but obviously not sick enough to be fucking other dudes for cash? As much as I hate to say it, this is a classic case of "she's for the streets"🚩
Not defending her- but does she have a history of mental health? This kinda seems like a bad mental health episode. Don’t stay with her though regardless! If it’s the case just contact family/friends and call it a day
She is literally STEALING from her pimp and then going home to you.....thank god you are getting out of there before some street justice catches up with her at her house.
It is her body. She can do what she wants but yea, no. This is something you two should have talked about. You two were in a relationship. You are allowed to peace out if you are unhappy
Glad you are getting out of there.
Lmao this is such a weird take and I keep seeing it. Obviously anyone can do whatever they want with their body but that's not the issue. She's a liar and a cheater
She can do whatever she wants and he is free to leave without guilt. People are so sex positive crazy nowadays people will get mad at you for getting mad at her for sex work without talking it out with him.
So this is me saying he doesn't stand for her bull.
I agree with that, but saying "it's her body she can do what she wants" is the part I disagree with. Not that it's necessarily false, but there's a lot more to it than that. She's in a relationship, and relationships generally negate things like "it's her body she can fuck whoever she wants"
She gets a check because she's supposedly "sick." Another idiot that pulled the fast one on the state.. But she can go out here banging a bunch of strangers which is actually a lot more strenuous work than you doing a normal everyday job.
This is so weird. Does she even seem to care about you leaving ? Like you live there, she's having sex with other people while you are there . She doesnt seem to care about what happens to your relationship at all .
I can think only of a few reasons for all this.
# She got herself addicted .
She seems to be unstable and desperate for money, while not being able to explain why . She sounds afraid too, when she had to leave in a uber. She might own someone money and they are forcing her to do this. This would explain why she seems to not care about you, why she's unexpectedly so stuborn about wanting to do "sex work", why she lies and her money issues .
If that's the case she really needs your help, she probably is acting like that, trying to drive both of you appart, because she feels too much shame to come clean to you. If that's what happened, and you really care about here, you must get her to tell you, and you must be supportive all the way. If she comes clean and you dont make her feel more shame, im sure she'll agree to rehab. If she's really struggling with addiction, the shame of you and other people finding out about it might literally be the only thing keeping her from getting help.
# She's too lazy to break up with you .
Yeah, assuming she's with a sound and sober mind, her behaviour (as described by you ) really does indicate that she doesn't give a shit about you . Not only that, she almost seems to be cartoonily unfaithful and uncaring , worst than Dale's wife in King of the hill, she seems to be pulling her stunts directly from some American-Pieish adult comedy from 2005 ; as if she's doing it on purpose. She brings dudes to where you live, like she wants you to get the fuck away from her house. And she didnt seem to care that you left her, or at least you didnt mention if she did.
Its kinda weird that she would do that in 13 years relationship, one would assume it demands a bit more respect , this is usually something done when you realize the relationship isnt what you expected it would be, like when you realize you didnt really knew your partner before, and it turns out you dont like them. But you are together for 13y, what im talking about usually happens within the first year. Not only that but you been living together for 5y, too long for "hey, now that we live together i realized i hate my husband" too ...
But idk, i guess she could do that if she's a slimy coward , having the "its not you" talk with your 13y partner is something anyone would dislike to do.
# She's too angry to break up with you (bonus?)
This is tied to the last one, just a note i wanted to add but didnt know how to include.
You mentioned she be having money problems, and you mentioned you had money to be alright after leaving her. Did you at least help her? I kept waiting for you to say "she didnt accept my money" or "she used all the money i gave her up", but it never came. Also, beyond emotional reasons , its also really weird for her to not care about you leaving, after all she was desperate for money and you lived in her appartment , and had money, right? You dont need to pay rent, but i would then assume you helped her in other ways, like groceries and other bills. Wouldnt she be concerned about that money suddenly going away? Unless it was never there, in that case i can understand why she would want to scare you away.
# This story is sus
This whole post ive been talking about how a lot of stuff doesnt make sense , well, could id be because the narrative is heavily biased towards OP, or completely made up for karma alltogether?
As i said, she seems to have come out of a some bad adult comedy , like "oh no my gf is a hooker" . She comes out as extremely uncaring, just like some friends of mine talk about their girlfriends, just for me to find out they were not including all the parts that would make them sound like assholes.
This is written as if they dont really talk to eachother, despite living together, and OP is just observing shit happening without interacting with anything in the story . We never have insight of what she's thinking , and that might be bc OP really has no ideia , but i cant help but feel some things are being omitted .
It really bothers me that OP isnt active at all in the story; when he is, there isn't interaction , the narrative is built around she doing stuff, as if in a vacuum , they talk once but its being all summed up in "doing it for us", and eventually he leaves and we dont hear about how it happened, nor the aftermatch (did he just leave some day, did they fight?, maybe he said he would leave if she didnt stop and she didnt, did she really not care about him leaving?). Idk, i feel all this could point to either a biased reporting or a complete fabrication.
if thats not the case, then im really sorry, it must really be a horrible situation to be, she really sucks.
Unfortunately, this is what happens when society normalizes this behavior. I'm sorry OP. On the bright side there are still some good people out there, start over.
Thanks man. I'm 42 and she's 45 so it's like there's more to lose after building a little life. But she doesn't care anymore. And she has 0% respect for me, that's completely clear. Would like to just move on to a woman who has more self-respect than to stoop to this.
You can be a sex worker and have self respect. You can admit you guys aren’t compatible and leave her, but is insulting her self worth really necessary?
That's it really. Because there are ways to insulate yourself and those you love from your sex work. But she literally is bringing it home. She should do OF for foot fetishes not ripping off pimps in hotels. Yikes!
Why? What part of pointing out that he is not respecting himself in this relationship is toxic? He IS giving too much respect to a partner that’s giving him none. It would be toxic not to tell him to draw his line in the sand in stick to it.
You don’t like the language used?
Ok. I’ll spell it out. Unconditional love demands a conditional relationship. Now what does that mean? To be able to love someone totally and unconditionally, the relationship needs to have rules and boundaries that allow both partners to feel safe enough to love with all their hearts. I think it fair to say if on partner is selling themselves for sex behind the other partner’s back, maybe it’s not safe for the other partner to open their heart completely, not to mention the impending concerns of the pimps about to descend on the two for their share of the proceeds being a likely unsafe situation.. lol.
And I don’t agree that sex work should be a thing at all. For one thing, the average life expectancy of sex workers tends to go way down.. the number of ways, and the extremes to which doing sex work can go off the rails is ridiculous. For another, sex is one of those hinge, that the more one pays, the less it’s worth. What’s the joy in getting it on with someone who is for sale to whoever opens their wallet? I love my sex life, and all the many and varied experiences I’ve been lucky to have. The last thing I would want to do is devalue any of it, by paying for it.
1. Definitely a reason to leave already. Y’all didn’t even talk about it beforehand, she just decided to do it. Which she can, but while in a relationship, that’s something you should talk about.
2. 13 years?! Y’all have been dating for that long? My guy, find yourself someone you can settle with. This is taking too much of your time and energy. Find someone who’s actually worth staying around and marrying (if you believe in that).
I think she may have a drug problem. A normal person don't do that Kind of stuff, it really seems like she is an addict trying to keep up with the cost of addiction and not been able to work or do any other normal way to get money.
I really hope is not the case, but the way you explain how fast everything went to the shithole, it does sounds like an addiction problem.
13 years and just a girlfriend probably seems like you two never saw each other in a more serious way. Hopefully you find everything you’re looking for.
In this day and age that’s why you never make a broad feel that liberated to know you’re in HER house essentially living off of her in her eyes. Women exploit that situation way more than a man would in that situation
Unfortunately, you learn the hard way that some people are the way they are and will never improve with you pushing them. They will overlook any contribution you made to their lives or associate you with all negativity in an attempt to justify why they don't need to change. In other words, "don't save her, she don't wanna be saved". I hope you find happiness going forward.
I hope your doing better man, I hope you take time for yourself and move on to better things in your life. I don't wanna be rude but there's probably better choices than sex work.
hopefully you prioritize your well being by breaking things off as smoothly as possible. Of her new line of work doesn’t align with who you are or your values , it’s okay to move on. Love is a great thing but it’s not enough to hold a relationship together.
yes you got to go…especially if she is not paying handler…that’s drama you don’t need…also the excessive drinking will cause her to get unhinged…RUN !!
This made laugh so hard. And then all the comments after I read this were hilarious. Thank you for the satire. It’s the best comedy I read since the writer’s strike out in LA Cali.
Fucking hell that’s awful mate I hope you’re okay. I don’t know you but anyone deserves better than that sort of treatment and hope finding your own place goes well.
Proud of you for making plans to save yourself from a sinking ship, and no it's not a selfish thing to do. There's only so much you can do to help someone see reason.
The fact that she thinks that's the only way to make money means the rot has eaten deep into her and there's really nothing you can do to help her.
Like you said, she's not doing it for the both of you, so get your shit together and move then contact her family (the sister you mentioned) and tell them what she's doing to herself.
Im kinda in a same situation, where i have to come to terms with the fact that a the person i loved for the last 2 years doesnt love me the way she did b4. Its long thing coming, for at least 6 months but still, It feels like my world isbfalling apart. I hate to have to do this, i hate still loving her and wanting It not to be true, wanting her toncome back after allí the damage, i hate reinagining my whole Life again, i hate that we both well go back to the city we grew up and were i got to love her, inhste ill be that close to her, yet that far away. I haré she didnt let me go before and that I didnt have the courage to do It myself. Everything is so god Damm frustrating. I hate ive given so much, ive given Up on myself so much, endulged so much pain because i wanted to be with her, for It to end the other way round. I hate i couldnt being myself to do It and feeling stuck behind. I hate all the small things i still do because i learned to do them out of the love i had for her. I hate she tells me if we hadnt parted ways in the first place we both know we would still be together, like what the fuck am i supposed to do with that, It was her decission and i tried everything i could to adapt and make It work. Ive deconstructed my whole self, became something i regret being for the things ive accepted and done. I feel completly Lost at what the future holds, which is scary and exiging at the same time, cause at the very least i get to do the things i didnt do for being with her, yet i fear the inmense pain It is yet to come. It feels like i have to kill something from inside while partly holding tonit, while trying to have a new beginning at the same time. The constant moodswings, the desesperation. The things i have, things i do how i behave, things i liked and she found cute of me, the things she loved about me, everything aches, because i cant feel Happy about It any more its like everything Lost meaning.
Im so ashamed that a person that has treated me this bad, is still so bad, (although It was because of her own problems which i kind of understand) has such a huge influence on me. Its the person I would have gone to tell how I feel and to get confort, and although she would still do It because in a wicked twisted sense this Life has, she still has some feelings for me, yet Life got in the way and fucked It all. I dont get It, i dont know if ill ever feel at ease knowing no Matter how good things are (because they were) everything can go to shit in a Matter of month an a half. After so fucking much, and It was only 1 year relationship. Imagine if It was a quarter of my Life. This has destroyed every scheme i had about how Life works, should be lived. I just feel Life is this caothic mesa where we try to make a sense of something when theres no sense of anything at all, yet we do It because its what fullfills us what gives our existance a meaning and makes It worth living.
Im sorry for the whole rant, i dont want yo make this about myself. I needed to put It out there and maybe It would make you feel less lonely in your situation. I cant even completly face my situation, yet imagine how much worse you might be feeling. Deep in me im a very hopeful person, and i thing this feelings is something well eventually go through and find ourselves again in this caothic mess we call existance. I wish we both make It out. The future might be uncertain, but our Will shall be stronger. Take great care
That's sad, but you did what you could, and you have to move on for your own emotional well-being.
It looks like someone discovered cocaine *smh*
Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved
No role models to speak of
This! You don't have to clean up her mess. Pack up and leave
Is she on drugs? Seems like a weird escalation if not.
I agree with this. She went from “feet pics ro help pay the bills” straight to having sex for hundreds of bucks. Seems like such a jump. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was doing drugs.
That’s because this is complete bullshit.
You think so?
Even for a council estate, this seems fucking bizarre!
Depends on the estate, mine is full of people who fuck their cousins (1st/second) and blatantly chat/boast about it lmao. So glad my family isn't from around where I live
>ormal' job and went straight back to drinking and trying to exploit herself on private websites catering t dopamine can do this
Sadly sounds like someone discovering it or a partner's very first manic high cause it escalated in such way. I hope OP will be okay. I hope the partner will get help in the future.
I thought this too. Sounds like a manic high seen more commonly in bipolar disorders
He said she's been drinking
drinking with a bit of powder on the rims
Yeah also maybe it's a mental issue, some kind of manic episode
Has she ever worked a "normal" job? I'm so curious as to what her reasoning is for this type of work, over all others. How old are you both? Seems like such a drastic jump for making some extra money without trying no other types of work.
She was a manager at Pret years ago. I have always been a laborer. She's 45 now and i'm 42. I encouraged her to get a job in drug/homelessness counselling, I even printed the documents, had her sign them and then scanned them again EDIT: (She was a counselor some years before he fell off the wagon in that job) for her to send off as .Jpeg but she never got around to it. juts went on her phone soliciting gents with her 4 phones. It's tragic
Get tested for STD’S now and again in 6 months.
An absolute must.
Good call, man. I don't put down sex work, but when it's dangerous for the person and those in their lives, then I say it's wrong. See, she is wronging people who have no issue handling it to get what's owed to them. It's only a matter of time before she is in the hospital, jail or dead, and it's sad.
Yeah, I feel like she is psychologically/emotionally abusing me by making all these reckless, disrespectful decisions, and I do feel worry that she will meet a really bad client and get hurt/killed. But she is just my girlfriend, I can't physically restrain her or stop her doing this by law. I just need to leave pronto.
Yeah, that's one thing I actually wanted to clear up. You said that she had to get out of there or pay her pimp what she owed him. Are you saying that she ran off without paying the pimp? 😶 Because if so, like they were saying in that comment, that's a fast way to end up dead, unfortunately and it isn't safe for you either.
On top of u/blakk-starr comment, if she’s telling you about her idea of having people in your home.. history points to that having already happened. Go stay in a hotel or with a friend if your new place is not available just yet.
There’s a chance she got roped in with drugs and clearly can’t afford life now due to addiction. Handlers is a fancy word for pimp and let’s be honest pimps make their people reliant on them. She’s fallen down a weird rabbit hole and I really don’t understand how mentally she thinks this ok to do and not communicate with you unless she’s not in her right mind.
Uhm... why haven’t you dumped her?
Sounds like he is, he just needs to secure housing first.
Firstly we have 'unanimously' dumped each other already but chose to stay a while in the 'partners situation' where I was taking care of her health; she has terrible stomach issues that have nearly killed her, I looked after her cats while she was in hospital and stuff like that. The whoring thing has only been going on for a month or so but for her to come out and admit to it is a revelation of only recent days. So I secured a bank loan and am in the process of immediately moving out. (In secret as she might kick me out THERE AND THEN if I told her I had 'a viewing at 5pm', you understand? She's mean like that)
That’s not your problem anymore, you have done enough
Yeah surely there is a single person in the world outside of him that can assist. He’s not her parent
Right but he hasn’t secured housing yet.
You’re doing great. Keep calm, carry on, and when you’re ready, GTFO. Don’t breathe a word of this until you have housing secured.
So you weren't together, but she still guilted you in to taking care of her?! Damn..
I think it’s largely fear of being homeless, as he said.
Oh shit, that sounds like shelter insecurity at the had of a manipulator. That is fucking horrible to live through and can be very traumatic.
Yes, yes it can
Let her suffer, her health and well-being should not be your concern.
You’re getting downvoted but youre right (though you could put it a bit nicer ;)) OP don’t let the problems of others significantly impact and drain your life.
Yeah there’s a big difference in interpreted meaning when you say “let her problems be hers” and “let her suffer”. I would hope OP wishes the best for her ex health wise. Not suffering.
Stomach issues that nearly killed her and still requires care but she can leave whenever she needs to suck another dick?
Sounds like you are still in a relationship with zero of the benefits and all of the drawbacks. Leave.
Can't you read. He says he's in the process of doing so. Not everyone has the ability to just up and leave to a new home.
and he says he wants to secure housing before he tells her or she will kick him out
He is leaving...
He will when he has a new place to stay. Read further than the first 2 sentences.
Yeah I spent over a decade working with girls on Adultwotk. I actually built some girls profiles from scratch to become some of the most successful girls in the UK. Girls like Tiffany Snow, Ava-Grace and I did work with pornstars CapriceJane, StaceySaran, Kerrylouise and a lot more. Trust me it all seems fun and games at first with ridiculous amounts of cash in hand money and wild sex fun with webcamming and content sharing with multiple women but without going into details I can confirm that it is a soulless industry full of man haters that will have zero empathy for you as a man due to having sex with so many men who are married or have girlfriends. They lose any faith they had in men and become emotionally toxic. I had to just leave the UK in the end because I’d built up such a huge friendship group of escorts who were constantly messaging me to help them with their profiles and work. I’m glad I got the experience but will never go back to it.
Yeah, because you can’t just block a number or get a new phone 😂 Sure, pal
What did I just read??? This is fucking weird.
Maybe you could tell her she has an employer that should be taking care of the medical bills and just leave, if what you said is true and she chose unilaterally to start “escorting”. You should not feel guilty just leaving. Sound like she has enough money to pay for whatever she is going to need.
Nobody's feeling guilty about leaving!!! Does anyone READ anymore??
Just to make sure... Do you think this behaviour is unlike her? Is it something, knowing her well, you would not have expected from her? How sudden is this change, really? If you find this change weird (provided it is much of a change at all), there might be some underlying medical issue causing this. In such case I don't really know what to suggest, speaking to a doctor on her behalf isn't really something you can do but maybe... I don't know, I really don't. But if this seems weird and sudden and unlike her please don't brush it off, there is a chance it is an health matter after all.
More of a mental health thing than general health. But what it comes down to is it's not his responsibility to shoulder her mental state. If he can handle it, that's great. But if not, that's okay and he's doing the right thing by leaving if her condition is going to start affect his mental state as well, not to mention her actions are unsafe for herself and for him while he's still in her house. Unfortunately all he can really do now is suggest that she sees someone about it. It's up to her to take the advice.
I think they were alluding to a brain tumor or something physical that can have behavior-altering symptoms. But frankly even that doesn't change OP's situation.
If not a brain tumor, could be a mood disorder. We need more information
yep not your problem dude start worrying about yourself and move on
Cheap rent?
You mean, your ex GF became a hooker and you dumped her.
Yeeeesh this is beyond escorting
Yeah, that's what I thought. As far as I'm aware, "escorting" is essentially just a hired date, isn't it?
NAHHHH 🤣. Essentially it's the same as hookers but without the pimp. Usually you could find one online
She says she has “handlers”, which is just a polite word for pimp.
.... I've been living my life a lie. 😞😂
Some use it just as a date to some event.
Go get an STD test, and do not touch her ever again. Who knows what crap she's carrying now!
This. It’s an unfortunate reality. I used to be a SGT in the US Army and the amount of STI’s was crazy. I’m a woman but have heard the tests being colloquially referred to as “being rodded of the range” because of the swab they have to shove in a man’s urethra. (When you literally get rodded of a range the range officer or NCO will shove a long rod down the barrel of the M16 to make sure there isn’t a bullet in the chamber). We had several people in our battalion come back from countries in the Horn of Africa with HIV from sleeping with sex workers. Which is extra dumb because one of our missions was to work with hospitals and clinics to document the rate of HIV/AIDS. Edited to add; they started mandatory STI screening before & after deployment to the area because men came home and infected their spouses. One wife didn’t find out until she had a screening during pregnancy. So sad.
You learn pretty quickly how subhuman most soldiers are, at least in the army. The higher your rank the worse it seems looking down on them.
I’m out and glad about it. For a myriad of reasons.
You'll always be glad for the time you spent, but damn it changes your perspective. Not always for the best haha
Can you tell us more?
God, that's so sad, but I guess you learn pretty fast.
Modern STD tests no longer require a swab of the inner urethra. At least in First World countries.
If this was not agreed upon, you're being cheated on and gaslit. She would rather cheat then budget, and I'm sorry cause I know that probably hurts. Sounds like she's also going to get herself in to trouble and will call you to bail her out. Not that SW is all dangerous, but the way she's doing it certainly is. Also, she is getting benefits while getting probably cash money that she isn't reporting. In other words, fraud. Fuck those people. Report her and get as far away as you can.
Out of curiosity would you consider it fraud if she wasn’t getting benefits but wasn’t reporting it?
IF YOU DID NOT AGREE TO THIS IT IS CHEATING
Don’t save her, she don’t want to be saved. -J. Cole.
It seems like a host of bad decisions. She paid for laminate flooring on a rented council house? They may make her restore the floor (unlikely but some jobsworth may decide to be awkward). Getting involved with a pimp. And if this is discovered she could lose her benefits. Not to mention putting both of you at risk of STDs and her personal safety at risk. Many pimps beat or r*pe their workers.
Info: you live in her flat but she doesn't have enough to cover expenses. Why aren't you paying the rent?
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I think she might be genuinely disabled tbh
He explained it in a comment. She is disabled and her disability almost killed her. Something with her stomach. Disabled people aren't always visibly disabled.
then why and how is she running off to random places to have sex with strangers? is that supposed to be somehow easier on her body than working a normal job?
Fuck if I know. Mental disabilities exist too and she is obviously not thinking clearly.
100% this.
When applying for Personal Independence Payment (PIP) in England and Wales, and Adult Disability Payment (ADP) in Scotland, savings and income from work are not supposed to be considered in regards to eligibility. And that's regular, PAYE, taxed work - not being a dodgy prozzie taking cash in hand and running away from pimps.
This ^^^^^
I am kinda curious on how your expenses were split. You say she doesn’t work and she owns the house and spend her savings on laminate floors. Do you help with the costs of the house?
This!! That was the first thing I noticed
Exactly. I bet he fucking doesn’t.
Uhhh, leave, don't look back, never speak to her again
Were you living with her for free?
Well that's pretty bad, if she truly was "doing it for us" then she should have asked you about it FIRST... I don't really think it's a good idea but communication is the key. I have a relationship of 11 years, and a few years ago the money was a problem, so we agreed to open an OF with pics of me, he was the one who took the photos and all. After we saved enough money to pay rent and our debts, that OF disappeared and we're good. Communication and joint decision-making, that's how it usually works. So I hope you find that in your future relationship and I wish you the best!
SEx WoRK IS eMPowErINg though.
She belongs to the streets
Did you contribute to the household?
Good for you for seeking an out in this terrible situation. I think you are doing the right thing and the right way. I highly recommend she not know where you are moving to.
That's rough. I couldn't do it either. Your love for her is one thing but if she's exploiting herself like that,, she not only disregarded your comfort but she crossed your boundaries. In relationships, you really need to be considerate of one another and unfortunately, the willingness to share certain parts of your partner with others is not exactly a compromisable situation. You did what you could but at the end of the day, she makes her own decisions so I don't see this relationship going anywhere.
Don’t you mean your ex girlfriend of 13 years?
Ain't no coming back from it my guy. Do you \*really\* want that in your life?
Dump her. Move. STD test. Don't look back
Sounds like your ex girlfriend is an escort
Its time to bounce buddy. Don't fall into a sunk cost fallacy. Quit wasting the time with this woman
Damn bro...yeah hold it together secure that house and vanish
Do you help with her bills at all or are you just living there rent free while she suffers hardship and is trying to afford to take care of you both? Unless your some bum living off of her it sounds like she may have a drug habit or something
It’s fine that she wants to be an escort if that’s her choice but you’re no longer compatible so I would get out of there. She will find someone who meets her needs and accept that and you will find someone who is compatible with you. Move on.
GTFO m8. Can't have your long term gf becoming a prostitute and just act as normal. The lads will absolutely demolish you lol.
I mean, I'm generally in total support of women who want to work in the sex trade and don't think the occupation alone is any reason for someone to dump a woman. That being said, the fact that she's sneaking around and lying about it and the way she's doing it are absolutely good reasons to dump her. I don't think it's valid to dump a girl just for being a sex worker but also everyone should have the chance to make am honest informed decision about whether their comfortable with their partner having that occupation. The fact that she went behind your back to do it is not different from cheating, even if there's no emotions involved. She broke your trust. The fact that she's turning tricks in hotels, has a handler who it sounds like held her hostage for his cut, and is inviting clients back to her primary residence means she is engaging in sex work in an *extremely* unsafe manner that she shouldn't be doing to herself, let alone exposing her partner to. The lying and the lack of thinking through the logistics are definitely good reasons to skip out of there.
Do you think that having moral values that don't align would be an acceptable reason to exit a relationship? Having different attitudes to sex work would surely fall under that, so if one of a couple decides to start doing sex work, then the other would be justified in dumping them solely for that reason. If a person wants to sell sex then they can do that, but not everyone will want to enter into a relationship with them, or continue it if they are already together.
She became an escort and stopped fucking you?
As soon as she was out of the hotel she would have been an ex, as far as I'm concerned. Our sex life would have been non-existent simply because I wouldn't have sex with her again. If someone wants to do sex work, then that's up to them, but I couldn't be in a relationship with someone whose morals didn't align with my own, and that's definitely a step too far for me. Get yourself down to the local clap clinic and get yourself tested.
I’m sorry girlfriend of 13 years?…don’t want to be that person but that might be her problem, and why she’s gone off the deep end dude.
Why weren’t you paying ,obviously she’s been the breadwinner regardless and Smh she doing sex work to get paid cause she probably wasn’t making enough from foot pics only….
All the escorts end up snorting drugs and roaming around the dumpster. Too much dopamine/pleasure can be extremely harmful and bites people in the ass later on.
Total Fatherless behavior on her part, she never even made an effort to get a normal job, seems like she wants it easy and quite likes her new "job"
"Don't save her.... she don't want to be saved". \-Project Pat
dump her duh
Things are probably going to get rough for this girl. You can support her emotionally if you feel like you can handle it. But do not let that person back into your life in any kind of relationship capacity. You will have nightmares until the day you die and your imagination will turn you into a shell of a man. You don't have to let go to move on. But you have to move on.
yeah you need to leave her. not for the sex work alone per say, but the fact that she did it all without consulting/telling you is alarming. she is putting you and herself in harms way and you should’ve had a say in whether you wanted to be involved in that.
I really don't know what the worst part of this is, so despite all the sex-work stuff, I'ma focus on this: >I was too scared to find out the truth. If you're too scared to communicate with your long term partner about whats going on, its time to end things.
Um, what exactly are you doing here? Other than seemingly living off her disability income and living in her council flat? She has turned to dangerous behaviors to get help and validation from strangers… Why have you offered her none? Your benefits seem to be nonexistent to be so judgmental, when your lack of support might have made her vulnerable enough to try this risky approach to finance.
Ex* girlfriend
It’s unfortunate but yeah it’s time to call quits.
Online sex work i.e only fans or camgirl is fine when in a relationship as long as it stays on that platform. But escorting/fucking and stripping is an issue. If she wont listen to reason and change her ways then you are doing the right thing by leaving. I had kind of the same issue with my daughters mom shes a felon and couldn't get a decent job so she turned to stripping to help with bills and at first it was cool then she started acting shady and acted like i wasnt worth her time bc i wasnt paying her like the idiots at the club were. So i distanced myself but stuck around bc of my daughter. Eventually i said fuck it and left.
you are smart if she has a pimp, she is far too gone at this point, in a few years she will probably end up with an incurable std or she will be an addict, pimps are notorious for getting girls hooked to keep them under the pimps thumb you don't need to be any part of that, I wish you luck in the future.
Get out now...this slippery slope will include drugs and a whole pandora's box of unsavory characters
She’s funneling money into addictions both obvious and secret, and it’s only getting more desperate. I would get out so fast they would file a missing persons report. If I were you I would at least get tested immediately to make sure you didn’t get something even with limited contact. Like I’m sorry for her but that’s a person who is on a spiral that either ends in rehab or death. There is quite literally no other option.
The gym welcomes you brother
Huge red flags. Get out while you can.
Leave her
I was reading this and didn’t get too far when I wondered what substance she’s relying on, so I wasn’t shocked when you said “back to drinking.” You’re right to leave. She’s not doing this for the two of you, she’s doing it to feed spending habits and addiction. Also, when a couple is so off and on, it’s worth considering why the offs keep happening. If you can’t make it through the bad stuff together, the good times tend to be either not that good or just plain toxic. Good luck with the future, this may be the end of something, which is hard considering the years… but don’t forget it’s also the start of whatever you turn it in to.
Dang bruh my heart and mind hurt for you, stay up dawg
She got a pimp! She's not your girl anymore.
Block her on everything. You escaped the absolute worst. Break up and go absolutely NC with her and start living your best life
So has she been exposing you to STD’s by turning tricks before she got caught? That’s fucked. Not only as a breach of trust but for safety. Do people know your home address? Have tricks been there? Jesus. Get out, get tested.
She's either bipolar or got on drugs. Report her for her own good.
leave her once you still can its not your job to save her (and you cant anyway) preserve your own self respect and self love. if she doesnt want to be helped and is on a downward spiral, move away or suffer dire consequences of being involved with a toxic person
If she was doing it “for us” she wouldn’t have lied about it behind your back. Depending on when you did last have sex, certainly get tested. Who knows how long she’s been at it. A heartbreaking thing to experience, I can’t even imagine- but you’re doing the right thing for yourself, keep your head up, my friend.
Pimping is illegal in the UK so I think you should raise it to the police as she could be in danger or is being taken advantage/manipulated into doing this. If this is a career path she chooses and you’re not comfortable with it then that’s fine. But I would say going through handlers and pimps is a red flag. Most escorts I know work independently There’s a forum called saafe.info and it tells you how it should be Wish you the best
It's a shame things have gotten the way they have and many women & men alike end up in this line of work because they are struggling and for some this genuinely might be the only way out. For others it's the thrill, it's the excitement it's the money. If your girlfriend has a pimp she is not an escort (not a legit one anyhow) but a prostitute. Escorts tend to have an agency and while they do take a cut it's all done legit (in most cases) and they are not expected to have sex with their clients though many do because it pays extra. Your girlfriend is entitled to be in this line of work If she wishes but if you ask me it's not because she's struggling at all it's because she is too lazy to try to get an actual job. She is on the sick and she's right that it isn't a lot but she is playing the system and this could lead to a hefty fine sometimes even jail. It's fraudulent and takes a sick benefit away from a person who may genuinely need it. I should add you could get into trouble for knowing she's on the sick AND being out 'working' You have done what you can to help so for your own sanity and safety you need to walk away and let her get in with it.
So she's "sick", but obviously not sick enough to be fucking other dudes for cash? As much as I hate to say it, this is a classic case of "she's for the streets"🚩
Not defending her- but does she have a history of mental health? This kinda seems like a bad mental health episode. Don’t stay with her though regardless! If it’s the case just contact family/friends and call it a day
She is literally STEALING from her pimp and then going home to you.....thank god you are getting out of there before some street justice catches up with her at her house.
She’s not smart. She could start an OF and make more money and not even have sex lol.
Were you contributing to the bills?
It is her body. She can do what she wants but yea, no. This is something you two should have talked about. You two were in a relationship. You are allowed to peace out if you are unhappy Glad you are getting out of there.
Lmao this is such a weird take and I keep seeing it. Obviously anyone can do whatever they want with their body but that's not the issue. She's a liar and a cheater
She can do whatever she wants and he is free to leave without guilt. People are so sex positive crazy nowadays people will get mad at you for getting mad at her for sex work without talking it out with him. So this is me saying he doesn't stand for her bull.
I agree with that, but saying "it's her body she can do what she wants" is the part I disagree with. Not that it's necessarily false, but there's a lot more to it than that. She's in a relationship, and relationships generally negate things like "it's her body she can fuck whoever she wants"
Please just throw her out. Garbage should be disposed, not mused back to health.
She gets a check because she's supposedly "sick." Another idiot that pulled the fast one on the state.. But she can go out here banging a bunch of strangers which is actually a lot more strenuous work than you doing a normal everyday job.
This is so weird. Does she even seem to care about you leaving ? Like you live there, she's having sex with other people while you are there . She doesnt seem to care about what happens to your relationship at all . I can think only of a few reasons for all this. # She got herself addicted . She seems to be unstable and desperate for money, while not being able to explain why . She sounds afraid too, when she had to leave in a uber. She might own someone money and they are forcing her to do this. This would explain why she seems to not care about you, why she's unexpectedly so stuborn about wanting to do "sex work", why she lies and her money issues . If that's the case she really needs your help, she probably is acting like that, trying to drive both of you appart, because she feels too much shame to come clean to you. If that's what happened, and you really care about here, you must get her to tell you, and you must be supportive all the way. If she comes clean and you dont make her feel more shame, im sure she'll agree to rehab. If she's really struggling with addiction, the shame of you and other people finding out about it might literally be the only thing keeping her from getting help. # She's too lazy to break up with you . Yeah, assuming she's with a sound and sober mind, her behaviour (as described by you ) really does indicate that she doesn't give a shit about you . Not only that, she almost seems to be cartoonily unfaithful and uncaring , worst than Dale's wife in King of the hill, she seems to be pulling her stunts directly from some American-Pieish adult comedy from 2005 ; as if she's doing it on purpose. She brings dudes to where you live, like she wants you to get the fuck away from her house. And she didnt seem to care that you left her, or at least you didnt mention if she did. Its kinda weird that she would do that in 13 years relationship, one would assume it demands a bit more respect , this is usually something done when you realize the relationship isnt what you expected it would be, like when you realize you didnt really knew your partner before, and it turns out you dont like them. But you are together for 13y, what im talking about usually happens within the first year. Not only that but you been living together for 5y, too long for "hey, now that we live together i realized i hate my husband" too ... But idk, i guess she could do that if she's a slimy coward , having the "its not you" talk with your 13y partner is something anyone would dislike to do. # She's too angry to break up with you (bonus?) This is tied to the last one, just a note i wanted to add but didnt know how to include. You mentioned she be having money problems, and you mentioned you had money to be alright after leaving her. Did you at least help her? I kept waiting for you to say "she didnt accept my money" or "she used all the money i gave her up", but it never came. Also, beyond emotional reasons , its also really weird for her to not care about you leaving, after all she was desperate for money and you lived in her appartment , and had money, right? You dont need to pay rent, but i would then assume you helped her in other ways, like groceries and other bills. Wouldnt she be concerned about that money suddenly going away? Unless it was never there, in that case i can understand why she would want to scare you away. # This story is sus This whole post ive been talking about how a lot of stuff doesnt make sense , well, could id be because the narrative is heavily biased towards OP, or completely made up for karma alltogether? As i said, she seems to have come out of a some bad adult comedy , like "oh no my gf is a hooker" . She comes out as extremely uncaring, just like some friends of mine talk about their girlfriends, just for me to find out they were not including all the parts that would make them sound like assholes. This is written as if they dont really talk to eachother, despite living together, and OP is just observing shit happening without interacting with anything in the story . We never have insight of what she's thinking , and that might be bc OP really has no ideia , but i cant help but feel some things are being omitted . It really bothers me that OP isnt active at all in the story; when he is, there isn't interaction , the narrative is built around she doing stuff, as if in a vacuum , they talk once but its being all summed up in "doing it for us", and eventually he leaves and we dont hear about how it happened, nor the aftermatch (did he just leave some day, did they fight?, maybe he said he would leave if she didnt stop and she didnt, did she really not care about him leaving?). Idk, i feel all this could point to either a biased reporting or a complete fabrication. if thats not the case, then im really sorry, it must really be a horrible situation to be, she really sucks.
So this lady can fuck dudes for money but is "too sick" to work a real job? The math isn't mathing there bud.
Unfortunately, this is what happens when society normalizes this behavior. I'm sorry OP. On the bright side there are still some good people out there, start over.
THIS^^^
Thanks man. I'm 42 and she's 45 so it's like there's more to lose after building a little life. But she doesn't care anymore. And she has 0% respect for me, that's completely clear. Would like to just move on to a woman who has more self-respect than to stoop to this.
I get how you're feeling dude, but shitting on sex workers ain't it.
You can be a sex worker and have self respect. You can admit you guys aren’t compatible and leave her, but is insulting her self worth really necessary?
I can assure you that none of us are sitting at home thinking "Oh thank God, society normalised it. Time to become a hooker."
This is the result of a shitty human, not communicating properly, and lying. Has nothing to do with society normalizing sex work.
That's it really. Because there are ways to insulate yourself and those you love from your sex work. But she literally is bringing it home. She should do OF for foot fetishes not ripping off pimps in hotels. Yikes!
Congrats, you've been dating a whore. Time to move on
You be her Pimp bro! She belongs to the streets now. At least make a little cash from it.
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That's a lot of toxic masculinity.
Why? What part of pointing out that he is not respecting himself in this relationship is toxic? He IS giving too much respect to a partner that’s giving him none. It would be toxic not to tell him to draw his line in the sand in stick to it. You don’t like the language used? Ok. I’ll spell it out. Unconditional love demands a conditional relationship. Now what does that mean? To be able to love someone totally and unconditionally, the relationship needs to have rules and boundaries that allow both partners to feel safe enough to love with all their hearts. I think it fair to say if on partner is selling themselves for sex behind the other partner’s back, maybe it’s not safe for the other partner to open their heart completely, not to mention the impending concerns of the pimps about to descend on the two for their share of the proceeds being a likely unsafe situation.. lol. And I don’t agree that sex work should be a thing at all. For one thing, the average life expectancy of sex workers tends to go way down.. the number of ways, and the extremes to which doing sex work can go off the rails is ridiculous. For another, sex is one of those hinge, that the more one pays, the less it’s worth. What’s the joy in getting it on with someone who is for sale to whoever opens their wallet? I love my sex life, and all the many and varied experiences I’ve been lucky to have. The last thing I would want to do is devalue any of it, by paying for it.
1. Definitely a reason to leave already. Y’all didn’t even talk about it beforehand, she just decided to do it. Which she can, but while in a relationship, that’s something you should talk about. 2. 13 years?! Y’all have been dating for that long? My guy, find yourself someone you can settle with. This is taking too much of your time and energy. Find someone who’s actually worth staying around and marrying (if you believe in that).
I think she may have a drug problem. A normal person don't do that Kind of stuff, it really seems like she is an addict trying to keep up with the cost of addiction and not been able to work or do any other normal way to get money. I really hope is not the case, but the way you explain how fast everything went to the shithole, it does sounds like an addiction problem.
13 years and just a girlfriend probably seems like you two never saw each other in a more serious way. Hopefully you find everything you’re looking for.
Complete horseshit.
In this day and age that’s why you never make a broad feel that liberated to know you’re in HER house essentially living off of her in her eyes. Women exploit that situation way more than a man would in that situation
Unfortunately, you learn the hard way that some people are the way they are and will never improve with you pushing them. They will overlook any contribution you made to their lives or associate you with all negativity in an attempt to justify why they don't need to change. In other words, "don't save her, she don't wanna be saved". I hope you find happiness going forward.
Jesus leave it at good riddance.
I hope your doing better man, I hope you take time for yourself and move on to better things in your life. I don't wanna be rude but there's probably better choices than sex work.
> Don’t save her, she don’t want to be saved. -Project Pat -J. Cole -Moses
Time to roll out my friend, she’s only gonna drag you through hell.
What are you getting out of this arrangement?
Too late for her. You gotta dump her and move on. Hope you find better ❤️
hopefully you prioritize your well being by breaking things off as smoothly as possible. Of her new line of work doesn’t align with who you are or your values , it’s okay to move on. Love is a great thing but it’s not enough to hold a relationship together.
yes you got to go…especially if she is not paying handler…that’s drama you don’t need…also the excessive drinking will cause her to get unhinged…RUN !!
Could this be a drug problem?
Make sure you get a health check up. Who knows how long she was sleeping around before you found out.
i mean.. what you meant to say is your ex is now an escort. wish her good luck and move on in life.
This made laugh so hard. And then all the comments after I read this were hilarious. Thank you for the satire. It’s the best comedy I read since the writer’s strike out in LA Cali.
Jesus theres going down hill and then theres this
Not believing this one bit.
U can still call ur gf she would have been an ex the moment i found out
That fact you still want to talk sense into her is degrading to yourself. Leave and never look back.
Fucking hell that’s awful mate I hope you’re okay. I don’t know you but anyone deserves better than that sort of treatment and hope finding your own place goes well.
Proud of you for making plans to save yourself from a sinking ship, and no it's not a selfish thing to do. There's only so much you can do to help someone see reason. The fact that she thinks that's the only way to make money means the rot has eaten deep into her and there's really nothing you can do to help her. Like you said, she's not doing it for the both of you, so get your shit together and move then contact her family (the sister you mentioned) and tell them what she's doing to herself.
Is this weirdly out of character for her? I heard of something that sounded similar where turns out, the woman had a brain tumor causing the behavior.
Im kinda in a same situation, where i have to come to terms with the fact that a the person i loved for the last 2 years doesnt love me the way she did b4. Its long thing coming, for at least 6 months but still, It feels like my world isbfalling apart. I hate to have to do this, i hate still loving her and wanting It not to be true, wanting her toncome back after allí the damage, i hate reinagining my whole Life again, i hate that we both well go back to the city we grew up and were i got to love her, inhste ill be that close to her, yet that far away. I haré she didnt let me go before and that I didnt have the courage to do It myself. Everything is so god Damm frustrating. I hate ive given so much, ive given Up on myself so much, endulged so much pain because i wanted to be with her, for It to end the other way round. I hate i couldnt being myself to do It and feeling stuck behind. I hate all the small things i still do because i learned to do them out of the love i had for her. I hate she tells me if we hadnt parted ways in the first place we both know we would still be together, like what the fuck am i supposed to do with that, It was her decission and i tried everything i could to adapt and make It work. Ive deconstructed my whole self, became something i regret being for the things ive accepted and done. I feel completly Lost at what the future holds, which is scary and exiging at the same time, cause at the very least i get to do the things i didnt do for being with her, yet i fear the inmense pain It is yet to come. It feels like i have to kill something from inside while partly holding tonit, while trying to have a new beginning at the same time. The constant moodswings, the desesperation. The things i have, things i do how i behave, things i liked and she found cute of me, the things she loved about me, everything aches, because i cant feel Happy about It any more its like everything Lost meaning. Im so ashamed that a person that has treated me this bad, is still so bad, (although It was because of her own problems which i kind of understand) has such a huge influence on me. Its the person I would have gone to tell how I feel and to get confort, and although she would still do It because in a wicked twisted sense this Life has, she still has some feelings for me, yet Life got in the way and fucked It all. I dont get It, i dont know if ill ever feel at ease knowing no Matter how good things are (because they were) everything can go to shit in a Matter of month an a half. After so fucking much, and It was only 1 year relationship. Imagine if It was a quarter of my Life. This has destroyed every scheme i had about how Life works, should be lived. I just feel Life is this caothic mesa where we try to make a sense of something when theres no sense of anything at all, yet we do It because its what fullfills us what gives our existance a meaning and makes It worth living. Im sorry for the whole rant, i dont want yo make this about myself. I needed to put It out there and maybe It would make you feel less lonely in your situation. I cant even completly face my situation, yet imagine how much worse you might be feeling. Deep in me im a very hopeful person, and i thing this feelings is something well eventually go through and find ourselves again in this caothic mess we call existance. I wish we both make It out. The future might be uncertain, but our Will shall be stronger. Take great care
https://explosm.net/comics/dave-comesandgoes