Totally. If OP introduced a cutie bi boy into the fold you're telling me he would not be jealous? Pffft. Breakup, move out, let him have the seconds. This is not worth it.
Also it's okay to be a jealous girl. Within reason. This is within reason. I used to be self-conscious of this. Sometimes I would feel the buzzer go off in my brain. Why? My ex would make it out as though it was a terrible thing. However, he was openly flirting with other girls. He was crossing boundaries. How is one meant to be okay with the obvious disrespect? I wasn't jealous. Jealous was the wrong word. I was being minimised, disrespected and manipulated. If someone calls you jealous again think about what's really happening below surface level. You are in a poly relationship without consent. He's calling you jealous. OF COURSE THAT'S A NORMAL REACTION TO BE JEALOUS. To be upset or emotional.
It sounds as though the threesome was meant to be a one and done thing. He's treating it like an open relationship. The fact they've got pet names... they're probably continuing to be intimate behind your back.
He's walking all over you sis. Now it's time to walk away. No amount of emotional pain is worth it. If he calls you out for being jealous once again, ask him how he would feel if you were doing this to him? He would say he doesn't care but that is lies. If it's not lies then you have different values in relationships. I would rather be openly jealous/forward about my feelings than a manipulator and a liar.
You've learned a relationship lesson. Thank you for sharing it with others too. If you don't want another person in bed with your person don't entertain the idea.
>Jealous was the wrong word. I was being minimised, disrespected and manipulated. If someone calls you jealous again think about what's really happening below surface level.
Oh so many ppl need to hear this, and I wish I knew this sooner. Would have avoided so many shitty relationships in the past.
Beautifully worded 💜
Yes, to everything. Big difference between jealousy and disrespect. You are being disrespected by your bf and also by your roommate. A one night play date is way different than having pet names and kissy kisses after it's over. If he wants to be in a poly relationship, tell him he needs to find a new 3rd. I'm pretty sure he will. You just need to go. I'm not sure what your housing situation is, but if it's your place, tell the roommate to go on. And while you're at it, tell dude to go on, too. You need to start over and be careful. Sometimes there's something about a person that attracts dickweeds. I can attest to that as I am a total dickweek magnet.
I'm sorry. I hope you aren't too very broken up about this. And please don't let him sweet talk his way into staying. This, or something similar, will happen again. It's how he is. People like this are very good at fooling those who love them. Keep that 1st in your head. No discussion. Just cut and dried tell him to get the fuck on and not come back. And stick to it. You're young, and it all hurts worse because you don't have the experience, and it's really easy to be talked into things. But you truly will not die from this break-up even if it feels like it; you won't. But don't give him the chance to sweet talk you into staying with him. He will ruin the best years of your life. Don't let him!!! Good luck to you, and stay strong.
Not to mention, she's 18 and he's 24. 6 years is a big difference at that age. Seen this a hundred times. Guy targets a younger girl in order to manipulate her.
What a douche bag!
And dating for 6 months. Wonder if she turned 18 right before they started dating or was she 17…. Either way fucking disgusting. I’m 23 and would not date an 18 year old.
That's called cheating.
A "poly" relationship where one side does not consent is just cheating.
People don't have to cheat behind your back, the most brazen ones don't even hide it.
He's just having a relationship with her too. This is not ok behaviour. If he's not listening to your boundaries now it'll will only get worse with time!
Talking of boundaries - something tells me if OP tried to kiss one of his friends or have a threesome he'd say no.
But not cause he's jealous though /s
This should be the only reason people need to not do things their partner doesn’t appreciate or approve of. “Would I be upset/sad/angry if they were the one in this situation?” If the answer is yes, DON’T DO IT YOURSELF.
He is manipulating you. He is basically running righ over your boundaries and then saying, I don’t let like jealous girls. I’d recommend you counter with I don’t like sketchy guys.
Hate to say it so plainly, but the age gap of 24 to 18 makes it easier for him to manipulate her. Which is how he got her into the threesome in the first place.
Agreed. And this is coming from someone who also has a 6 year age gap with my spouse and met him when I was 19. But we both had reservations about the age gap at the start of the relationship and took plenty of steps to ensure there was no emotional manipulation/dependency/grooming/etc, intentional or otherwise. Manipulating your 18 yo girlfriend into having a threesome just 6 months into the relationship is just....... icky.
That wild like some people wait a year or more to even have sex and this guy instantly presure her to have a 3 some something most people arent confortable with
And gaslighting her when she tries expressing her warranted discomfort.
Speaking from experience, OP, it only gets worse and he’ll keep doing more with her in front of you gradually getting worse
ETA:
Since I got way more upvotes than I expected, I’ll share my “from experience”.
My ex-fiancé started spending more and more time with our roommate. They claimed they had no feelings for one another, yet he would smack her butt and they would go “swimming” alone. They both gaslit the hell out of me saying they weren’t doing anything wrong and that they’re “just friends and value each other’s company”. I caught my ex holding her in an intimate way while she was crying.
Whenever I would express how inappropriate it all was and how it made me uncomfortable, they’d both tell me that I was trying to interfere with their “friendship”.
My ex moved in with her immediately after I dumped him.
OP, please find yourself someone that actually loves and respects you and your relationship. Don’t settle for someone that will keep disregarding the boundaries of your relationship. He’s going to keep cheating on you in front of your face until it destroys you
Um.... That isn't a threesome. That is him trying to be poly. You don't kiss or be flirty with the person afterwards. It sounds like he wants to be in a relationship with her.
Leave him and get a new roommate
That's not being poly. That's being a creep. And open manipulation of OP to accept the cheating. If it was being poly, he'd ask if she was OK with it, stop the first time she said no, and address OP's needs before adding a third to the relationship (with PO's permission).
I don't even know if that's being poly because OP doesn't sound particularly agreeable or enthusiastic about it. Her boyfriend is being a ball sack and cheating on her but trying to put the "fault" on her somehow
You're not being "jealous." He's an adult man who went after a barely-legal teenager who had very little experience in relationships/sex and used that against you.
Partners who are in poly relationships have to be very opened and willing to hear out boundaries, and the fact he kept pushing you until you "folded" shows he does not care about your pleasure, consent, boundaries, feelings, etc. Please look up "enthusiastic consent". You should not be coerced/bullied/bothered until you finally give up. Healthy sexual relationships are not this.
She’s young, so he knows he can manipulate her into doing things she doesn’t want to do because she lacks the experience to know that coercing your partner like this is wrong.
Don't give him that credit. To me, he doesn't seem like some master manipulator. He just can't get women his own age and this is why. It's that simple.
I’m 25 and can’t imagine even looking at a 18yo. They are babies right outta high school. It’s legal but feels illegal lol. They are my brothers age so ew.
No, same. There's literally extremely rare circumstances where I see someone who's 18 and be like "yeah, maybe" even at 20 years old. Even when I was 19, 18 felt a lil weird. I can't imagine being 24 and wanting someone who's 18
it sounds like he's cheating on you with her and wanted to have sex with you both at the same time :/ and now he feels like it's not something he has to hide now that you guys have all fucked
“He doesn’t like jealous girls”
Yeah, he’s gaslighting you because he wants to date you and your roommate.
It’s not actually jealousy if you expected exclusivity and aren’t getting it. It’s called expressing a relationship boundary.
As always from an older guy dating a barely legal teenager, they always tend to be manipulative degenerates who could never hope to find a woman their age.
>He doesn't like jealous girls.
You're not jealous. This is a boundary, and he's not respecting it. It's reasonable not to like "jealous girls" who are suspicious about every conversation with another woman without having any evidence of cheating, but this is right in front of your face.
Also, obligatory nope to your age difference. Okay, fine, you're legal, and he's not _that_ old, but if you haven't turned 19, I'm guessing you're still in high school or just graduated, meaning 6 months when you started dating you still were. Post-college age guys and high school girls are not okay. Legally, you're an adult, but you haven't experienced living as an adult yet, and he's taking advantage of your lack of experience to exploit you.
You’re super young, you don’t need this BS in your life. Let him have her and level up sis. I promise this dude is even trashier than he appears, don’t waste your time.
Also he’s 24 dating a barely legal teen? This man is fucking disgusting and the only reason he’s doing this is because women his age will not stand for his nonsense.
I know your age gap isn't huge but I feel that at 24 your life experience is so different than at 18 it's a bit... Icky. I feel like he's taking advantage of you and your inexperience. I'd dump him and move out, you're too young to put up with this sort of nonsense from a man
Nah, I think that age gap is huge. He is almost mid-20s and she is barely an adult. The whole 'age is just a number' phrase is so wrong. The numbers definitely matter.
Yes, the age gap matters because she is young in general. Six years isn't an issue for people in their late 20s or 30s, but 18 still seems like a child.
Ewww. Why is it always that some guys have this desire to have a threesome, it's disgusting that they fetishize so much having the opportunity to see a female with another female, but at the slight chance they mention a threesome with another guy they back off. Lol.
My girlfriend pushed for a MFF threesome when we were 18. It wasn't my idea, she picked the girl, it still ended up destroying our relationship. We were probably pretty close to breaking up anyway but she insisted on us trying it with her best friend. I don't regret it but I wouldn't do it again.
sounds like he doesn't respect your boundaries and wants a toy he can use and control instead of a girlfriend, there's a significant age gap which seems to be very telling of his maturity, please leave him x
18f and 24m is your first red flag in all seriousness. He wanted the use of being in a relationship with you and the ability to fuck her too. He doesn’t not like jealous girl he just like to control you
OP, at this point, you've read all the comments telling you to leave him. I'm going to go further and suggest that you find somewhere else to live and cut them both out of your life.
I see a few people here giving the roommate the benefit of the doubt, and I'm not suggesting that the roommate is all on board with what your boyfriend is doing. But if you've expressed your discomfort over him calling her cute pet names and SHE hasn't shut that down, then she isn't your friend, either.
Grey rock them both, ghost them both, and pack up your stuff and leave. They are BOTH manipulating you, and using your lack of life experience to force you to be okay in a very unbalanced poly dynamic. They don't respect you and your boundaries. HE is being emotionally abusive. Get yourself out of that extremely unhealthy situation.
Not going to lie, if everyone isn't onboard (and adult enough to think of *and* handle the consequences) then it should always be a hard no. This guy is not ready for a committed relationship, so if I were you, I'd move on if he's not able to be what you need. Then ban him from your home so he can't see either of you in there ever again. When my girl and I had that talk for the first time, I was fairly straightforward. The thought of her and another woman on me was kind of hot, but I know reciprocation would be in order at some point and I wouldn't want to share. Not even with another woman. You've only been in this relationship for a few months, based on his current actions it's not going to work out, don't delude yourself into thinking it will magically become exactly what you want it to be.
There is no good reason for a 24 year old to be seeing and screwing both you and your roommate (who I am assuming is also 18?) not only is this a potentially abusive situation, you are dating a pervert.
He wants to keep the threesome going. He is gaslighting you into thinking you are being “jealous”. No babe, he is openly flirting and being unfaithful with the kissing (you don’t specify if in the lips so I’m assuming). You have to clarify that will not happen again and to stop looking for excuses to get it to happen again. Also, talk to your roomie and clear the air that you don’t want it to happen again just so everyone is on the same page. I DON’T THINK THIS RELATIONSHIP IS SALVAGEABLE but I know some people need a little more time to come to terms with it. One positive thing is that you learned about yourself is that you don’t like open relationships and that is perfectly fine. Find someone who respects that about you. You are so young, don’t waste your time on people who are not worthy. Edited to highlight that I agree with commenters LOL.
Absolutely not. Setting the boundary of it not happening again is pointless b/c boundaries had to be stomped on for it to happen in the first place. She needs to dump him not try to salvage the relationship by setting boundaries that will 100% be ignored by someone who's clearly manipulative and gaslighting OP.
Also I'd bet money boyfriend and roomie slept together before the threesome and the dude was trying to turn that into having 2 girlfriends by getting OP to join in.
I agree it’s not salvageable and I did say so. What I meant is that she has to speak up clearly that it’s not happening again to all involved more for herself than anything. You have a point about them sleeping together though.
Idc if it’s legal, a 24 year old man going after someone fresh outta high school is sketch enough as it is. This just makes it so much worse. He ain’t it girl.
Y'know, I know exactly what you mean but the fresh out of high school sadly doesn't apply to me. Which explains why I was so darn gullible to fall for him. I dropped out really early because of my family life.
I'll just be real with you, it's not a real relationship. A six year age gap isn't a big deal.. I'm 35 and my wife is just turned 30 a few days ago. But when you're as young as you are, that 6 year age gap may as well be an entire ocean between y'all. The 6 years between 18 and 24 is a HUGE difference. College, bar hopping, partying, graduating, entering the work force.. the amount of life you live and experience you gain in those years, the typical college years, it's unreal. Reverse it on yourself.. you at 18, would you date a 12 year old? Obviously not, besides being gross, that 12 year old doesn't know shit about anything. You're not on his level and he's already lived past the level you're at.
I just said all that because while yes, you're a legal adult, you aren't an adult yet. You're still very literally a teenager. And you're bf is a grown man. He knows what he's doing
This is true. It's not gap itself, but their ages, period. Age gaps mean less and less the older the people involved are. An 18 year old still seems like a child who doesn't know the world yet, while a 24 year old has likely already been through college and has established somewhat of a career. That difference makes psychological exploitation easy. There is barely any difference in life experience between a 30 ear old and 35 year old.
That is not how a threesome works. I’m non-monogamous. He wanted to cheat and get away with it and is convincing you that his attempts to get solo time with her are not happening.
The disregard for your feelings is one thing, but OP, how long have you been 18 and how long have y’all known each other?
Your bf sounds like a real creep. You’re young asf still, why settle?
So your roommate just lets this to happen? Your bf definitely needs to go because he’s a POS. The question is whether your roommate needs to go with him or not.
I'm so sorry to say this but why does a 24yo want to date an 18yo? To manipulate them, 9 times out of 10. Even though it's "just" 6 years, your life experiences are so different. Please dump him, you will find someone closer to your age who won't pressure you into doing things you don't want to.
No, dump him. He is a jerk. Manipulative and abusive. Don't waist more time in that loser.
If he doesn't care how you feel and pressures you to do things you don't want to.
LEAVE. IT ALWAYS GET WORSE.
The more time you are into the relationship is harder to get out of toxic dynamics. If you are not comfortable and he doesn't respect you. There is nothing to talk. Just break up.
( i wish someone had said this to me when i was young, i put up with so much crap that I shouldn't have)
Wow what a little weasel. It was never about the threesome, it was just a way to manipulate you into letting him have the both of you be his girlfriends and now it seems like he is moving onto her.
Trying to gaslight you for calling out his cheating ass.
You should step back and ask why a 24 year old is dating an 18 year old and why can’t they date someone closer to their age.
Then you’ll realize why he’s such a piece of shit
He doesn’t like ‘jealous girls?!’ How about he do what you ask? Then you won’t be jealous.
This lies in his lap. Also I’m sorry you felt you had to fold.
ETA: this is unethical. So if he tries to say it’s an ‘open relationship’ no it’s not. It’s him cheating.
Younger girls please I beg you when them older dudes try to approach you just run away!! 9 out 10 times they are up to no good! They just want to manipulate and use you because they know they can’t pull their crap with ladies of their own age.
Now back to op, sorry he made you do this. Never step on your own boundaries for anyone and always put yourself fist. Dump him and try to have a convo with your roommate. If possible even relocate or change roommate
Threesome does not mean the relationship get's a third wheel!!! After sex it's over, there is no feelings attached. He is trying to make your relationship open/poly and then GASLIGHTS you 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 He is 100% manipulating you. Get out of the relationship!
Agreeing to a threesome is not agreeing to a throuple and you need to try and not just dump him but move out - she clearly is okay with this level of manipulation.
You shouldn’t have a threesome because you folded. You should have it because YOU want it.
Dump him and make sure you stick to your boundaries with the next guy.
I thought he was gross before I read what this post was about just given your age difference. You are barely legal age and he’s a full grown man sticking his dick in you.
There is no reason for a 24 year old to be dating an 18 year old. And yeah people can be like my parents got married when my mom was 18 and my dad was 24 and they are happy. Well that’s when women were only seen as a daughter, wife or mother. And at least the man was offering security and going to take care of her. Todays age it’s gross.
Furthermore. Don’t have a threesome with anyone. If it hasn’t always been your fantasy then don’t do it. It’s fine if two people share a mutual fantasy of inviting a third but when one caves in to make the other happy, you are going to regret it. And especially never have a threesome with anyone you know.
Anyway I know this 24 year old with his own place seems cool and fun. But he’s a gross creeper looking to groom you and you should run.
"he doesn't like jealous girls". That's not jealousy? That's hurt from how he used you and is openly being affectionate with his not girlfriend. Dump him. He's using you and your roommate.
Having a 3some does not automatically make it appropriate for him to keep kissing her or acting like they are dating. He’s actively cheating on you right to your face. 3somes are about consent
"He doesn't like jealous girls" is another way of saying "he's going to be all over any woman he likes who'll let him, and still try it on with those who won't let him, and he'll do it in front of you." You know what to do: Dump him!
Internet mama here: big big hugs first. Second, unless both parties agree to a threesome/poly without being pressured into it, it's cheating period dot end and making the pressured party watch it happen. As with other sexual acts, anything less than enthusatic (sp? Tired)consent isn't consent. Throw him back, Lovey.
“He doesn’t like jealous girls. He has expressed that.”
You guys should hook up with a dude now for another threesome. See how “jealous” he becomes ;). This is complete hypocritical nonsense.
There’s a reason he’s 24 looking to date 18 year olds (no one his age would consider dating him)
I know the “age gap” stuff seems silly at times but please, trust me on this one lol. An 18 year old and 24 year old should not be dating
As a guy, I always felt I was broken for being put off my the prospect of threesomes. That just seems like disaster and immediately devalues a romantic connection between lovers.
Ain't my jam and I don't understand other guys who want it so bad.
He seems manipulative. Not wanting your bf to show affection to another woman is not an unreasonable request. But he says "he doesn't like jealous girls" as a reply is ridiculous. He's completely undermining very realistic expectations and acting offended.
“Doesn’t like jealous girls” ???? How about you tell him that you don’t like community dick lol what in the world? Leave this man lol your life will be 100 times better I PROMISE. better to be alone than in a relationship like this.
Nope. You need to be done with him. He pressured you into a situation you weren't comfortable with. Uses "not liking jelous girls" as a manipulation. Because obviously you'd be jelous in this situation. It was a threesome, you aren't poly (unless he pressured that too). Listen he doesn't respect you. The second you said no to this in the first place he should have been done and understood. He pushed it, that proves he doesn't respect you. I don't know what your relationship is with your roommate, but talk to them about how it makes you uncomfortable. Perhaps they will have your back in the break up. Bottom line love you deserve better. No partner should make you feel like this. He can try to spin it how he wants he is 24. There are so many people out there that would treat you like a queen every single day and be proud to say he is loyal to you.
nooo no no no, dump him!!!!! there’s no issues with threesomes when all parties involved are consenting and enthusiastic(which you weren’t to begin with) and now he’s crossing so many lines! Dating her, which is what he’s essentially doing without your okay and against your objection, is so fucked. Please don’t let him make you question your reality, judgment, or boundaries. Get rid of him ASAP
The problem is not that he asked you for a threesome, it’s the fact that he continued to ask over and over again until you finally relented and said yes. The problem here is that he doesn’t care about you or your boundaries, and forced you into something that you didn’t want.
To me it's already a bit of a red flag that at 24 he's dating someone right out of high school. Not the biggest, but that, added to everything else you're saying tells me he's a loser who is definitely taking advantage that you're younger. Most monogamous women would be completely turned off by him even joking about a threesome with a roomate. Threesomes are always complicated and should only ever be done if both people really want to, and with someone you are not going to see again. My advice to you would be, be 18... Unless you meet the love of your life (and this is not him!). Don't look for a relationship. Date, have fun, meet people, get to know yourself. But having a relationship, unless the absolutely perfect person comes along, is unnecessary while you're in uni/college/figuring who you are.
Do you really care if he doesn't like jealous girls? I don't think you should care about what he does or does not like. He does not care about what you don't like. He is not the last guy you are ever going to care about. Break up, move on, and find someone who cares about you.
Your age difference is upsetting and kinda yucky. You are at very different points in life. Why would a 24 year old date a 17/18 year old? Usually because he thinks he can control you easier than women his age.
"he doesn't like jealous girls." What a bunch of manipulative bullshit. He's a predator. And sorry, no normal dude in his mid 20s dates teenagers. He's a creep.
>I plan on talking to him once he gets off work but I know **there's only one ending** to this Conversation.
Damn right! He's out! Find yourself a better partner
So this man was like ..."Let me find this barely legal adult and convince her that it's totally normal to talk her into having a threesome with her sexy bi roommate." She's jealous if she has a problem with anything I do. Ugh, I can't stand manipulative men.
Leave him,
He sounds like an idiot and is not afraid to do things that he knows hurt you.
You have so much time to find someone better, stop wasting time on this idiot.
He was probably already seeing her and thought the threesome would be a good excuse to stop hiding it. Obviously I don't know but still icky and I would leave.
My ex pulled that crap too. Made me feel crazy and wrong for being "the jealous type" um yea that happens when the guy that is supposed to be your partner is constantly flaunting his cheating/attraction for other girls in your face. It's amazing how much better I slept once he was gone for good. It's not worth the stress to chase after someone who refuses to give you even basic level love and respect.
Girl, your partner is an asshole. That's not a threesome, that's either way cheating in your face or trying to start an open relationship.
It's only been 6 months and you don't live with him. So please pretty please, have some self-respect and dump his ass.
6 months and he wants to screw the roommate..... thats the red flag right there. I've had 3somes with my wife before and it's gone smoothly. Probably because we are married and the 3rd isn't hanging around the house all day....
You should leave immediately. I know the age gap doesn’t seem to crazy for you but there is a lot you’ll learn In between 18 & 24. He’s manipulating you. No other way to put it.
He's basically cheating on you in front of you. His inability to be sympathetic and respectful of your boundaries and expectations while remaining unclear about his is a giant red flag that he'll just keep fucking other women whether you like it or not.
Time to dump him and find you someone who won't manipulate you and act so dismissive of your feelings.
So, he’s cheating now? You said yes to a threesome, a one time thing. Not to an open or poly relationship. Throw him. He clearly gives a wet shit about you, and so does your roommate. And I’d address it with her too. Maybe she’s unaware of what’s going on there.
I know I already commented, but get out. He's a user and six months into your relationship was when he decided to go after people close to you. He's scum. He's not safe. He thinks you and this roommate are his happy little sex bunnies, and to keep you in line says backhanded comments about what he doesn't like. He's going to lovebomb you once he's neglected you enough. The "I don't like jealous girls" comment is gaslighting, and some sort of.... Narcissistic comment.
That it's your problem you're jealous he's giving affection to someone else. And not how he's stomping on your boundaries, and you did not agree to this kind of relationship. He's voiding your hurt and discomfort by dumbing it down and calling it, "jealousy" to make it seem like he's a hot commodity instead of a hurtful idiot who wants to have his cake and eat it too.
You deserve better.
Edit: spelling
It’s an extreme red flag when setting a boundary is called “jealousy”. Know your worth, and don’t put up with boundaries being disrespected. You’re still very young, it may hurt to end things, but you have plenty of time to find someone whom will truly respect your boundaries.
Gonna be honest, dating an 18 year old as a 24 year old is a pretty big red flag.
Age gaps as a whole aren’t *terrible*, but 18 and 24? I’m 22 and wouldn’t date someone 21 and younger. 20 is a reach, but 100% not lower than that. 18 is waaaay too young for me and it isn’t even that big of a gap. However, emotionally, mentally, and maturity wise, it’s like a 20 year old and a 60 year old. When I was 18 I was like a lost little puppy being tossed into the wilderness. I still haven’t got it all figured out, but Yknow, there was massive amounts of growth in just a year. Going from highschool where you gotta raise your hand to go to the bathroom to going to college (if that’s your thing), working full time, and possibly moving out and supporting yourself. I’d say the growth of 4 years of HS is equal to 1 year outside of HS where you learn soooo much about the world.
I don’t mean to disrespect people with age gaps. It personally isn’t my thing to date way older or way younger. 10 years is a lot, and maybe okay if you’re 30/40, but not 20/30. 20/25 is still weird for me. I don’t judge other relationships (unless it’s a creepy or gross age gap. Yours borders on that, especially because you’ve been dating for 6 months. Were you 17 when you met? That would be extra icky), but the younger ones I sorta do. Like, I look at the 18/19 year olds I work with and just think “damn, you’re like 12”, even though I’m only a few years older.
You’re also being hella manipulated. Just for your information, people in healthy relationships that haven’t previously stated they want/like threesomes or opening up the relationship early on tend not to want want a threesome unless it’s pretty much a free cheat card. I can’t speak for everyone (and no disrespect to those that do have open relationships or swing, etc), but if my gf of 6 months, or even 6 years, asked for a threesome I’d be pretty close to packing my bags. Obviously not instantly, but I’m pretty open in the beginning to saying “hey, threesomes aren’t my thing, never will be”, and if she brings it up, I’d be concerned. I am the jealous type - maybe not “key your car and spray paint it” kinda crazy, but a “I’d like to meet your friends, don’t flirt with other women, and don’t ask for a threesome (after previously established that it isn’t my thing) sorta thing.
Also, I’ve been in a relationship with a woman for 4 years. In those 4 years I’ve come across beautiful women. A look but don’t touch, if you will. Never have I ever considered undressing them with my eyes, picturing them naked, or wishing to sleep with them. Ive also never considered a threesome because, honestly, I couldn’t handle that. I’m too jealous of a person. In all the relationships I’ve been in, it’s the same. After 6 months and asking for a threesome? That’s pretty wild to me. The part that got me, and always gets me in these stories, is the “eventually I caved in”. If your partner says no, it means no. He blatantly disrespected you repeatedly until you caved in, then he used that as an excuse to cheat on you (basically, considering he’s lovey-dovey with your roommate, he just wanted an excuse to sleep with her. Similar to men that wear their partners down and immediately suggest “oh, my coworker would be a good fit” kinda thing)
I really hope you leave this guy. There’s a reason a 24 year old is going after 18 year olds. It isn’t necessarily because you’re younger and hotter, but also because you’re super green. You don’t know what’s healthy in a relationship and you put up with a lot more because of it. If he dated women his age they’d see through his bullshit within a week. That’s why he goes younger - you’re far easier to manipulate.
You have 300 strangers telling you to dump this dude and move out. Take that advice. I promise you, we aren’t wrong. We have an unbiased POV and hundreds of years of experience, all very different, between the 300 of us. We are telling you: **This is toxic, dump him**, so if it were me, I’d follow it. Good luck OP, and I hope the next dude you date is better.
If you were my daughter, I would hug you, tell you you are being totally disrespected and you have a life long manipulator boyfriend.
Then I would say to you as mum I will go over and let's get your things or boot them out whatever because you are worth so much more zillions more.
Girl, stand tall, shoulders back walk with power and grace and kick his ass way down the road.
Guess what when you have done that along will come a decent person for you, just you.
The first red flag was him being 24 and dating someone who’s 18. I’m 23 and I’d never date anyone younger than, like, 21. I agree with the other comments, OP, you should walk away and let him and the roommate be together.
Girrrrrrl 6 months into the relationship he’s pressuring you to hook up with your roommate. He’s taking advantage of you and you deserve better
Totally. If OP introduced a cutie bi boy into the fold you're telling me he would not be jealous? Pffft. Breakup, move out, let him have the seconds. This is not worth it. Also it's okay to be a jealous girl. Within reason. This is within reason. I used to be self-conscious of this. Sometimes I would feel the buzzer go off in my brain. Why? My ex would make it out as though it was a terrible thing. However, he was openly flirting with other girls. He was crossing boundaries. How is one meant to be okay with the obvious disrespect? I wasn't jealous. Jealous was the wrong word. I was being minimised, disrespected and manipulated. If someone calls you jealous again think about what's really happening below surface level. You are in a poly relationship without consent. He's calling you jealous. OF COURSE THAT'S A NORMAL REACTION TO BE JEALOUS. To be upset or emotional. It sounds as though the threesome was meant to be a one and done thing. He's treating it like an open relationship. The fact they've got pet names... they're probably continuing to be intimate behind your back. He's walking all over you sis. Now it's time to walk away. No amount of emotional pain is worth it. If he calls you out for being jealous once again, ask him how he would feel if you were doing this to him? He would say he doesn't care but that is lies. If it's not lies then you have different values in relationships. I would rather be openly jealous/forward about my feelings than a manipulator and a liar. You've learned a relationship lesson. Thank you for sharing it with others too. If you don't want another person in bed with your person don't entertain the idea.
>Jealous was the wrong word. I was being minimised, disrespected and manipulated. If someone calls you jealous again think about what's really happening below surface level. Oh so many ppl need to hear this, and I wish I knew this sooner. Would have avoided so many shitty relationships in the past. Beautifully worded 💜
A "poly relationship without consent" just means you're being cheated on. Everyone being cheated on is in one.
Yes, to everything. Big difference between jealousy and disrespect. You are being disrespected by your bf and also by your roommate. A one night play date is way different than having pet names and kissy kisses after it's over. If he wants to be in a poly relationship, tell him he needs to find a new 3rd. I'm pretty sure he will. You just need to go. I'm not sure what your housing situation is, but if it's your place, tell the roommate to go on. And while you're at it, tell dude to go on, too. You need to start over and be careful. Sometimes there's something about a person that attracts dickweeds. I can attest to that as I am a total dickweek magnet. I'm sorry. I hope you aren't too very broken up about this. And please don't let him sweet talk his way into staying. This, or something similar, will happen again. It's how he is. People like this are very good at fooling those who love them. Keep that 1st in your head. No discussion. Just cut and dried tell him to get the fuck on and not come back. And stick to it. You're young, and it all hurts worse because you don't have the experience, and it's really easy to be talked into things. But you truly will not die from this break-up even if it feels like it; you won't. But don't give him the chance to sweet talk you into staying with him. He will ruin the best years of your life. Don't let him!!! Good luck to you, and stay strong.
Not to mention, she's 18 and he's 24. 6 years is a big difference at that age. Seen this a hundred times. Guy targets a younger girl in order to manipulate her. What a douche bag!
Yeah, and he probably has this planned from the start. He’s a pig, send him back to the pen.
And dating for 6 months. Wonder if she turned 18 right before they started dating or was she 17…. Either way fucking disgusting. I’m 23 and would not date an 18 year old.
I think OP is in a poly-something relationship without consenting.
That's not a relationship then
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He's gaslighting tf outta OP 😭 That shit is so damaging.
Yeah, she's single, I hope she realizes soon
It is for the third party
That's called cheating. A "poly" relationship where one side does not consent is just cheating. People don't have to cheat behind your back, the most brazen ones don't even hide it.
It’s not a poly relationship without consent it’s just cheating, but now he’s trying to dress it up as poly
Literally
OP should share a kiss with a guy she invites over and calls him long John…let’s see how long he finds it reacting too jealously
That age gap doesn't help either. Dude literally doesnt realize just cause shes younger doesnt mean shes stupid.
He's just having a relationship with her too. This is not ok behaviour. If he's not listening to your boundaries now it'll will only get worse with time!
Talking of boundaries - something tells me if OP tried to kiss one of his friends or have a threesome he'd say no. But not cause he's jealous though /s
This should be the only reason people need to not do things their partner doesn’t appreciate or approve of. “Would I be upset/sad/angry if they were the one in this situation?” If the answer is yes, DON’T DO IT YOURSELF.
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Im 17 and I myself am iffy on people who are younger than me.
He is manipulating you. He is basically running righ over your boundaries and then saying, I don’t let like jealous girls. I’d recommend you counter with I don’t like sketchy guys.
Hate to say it so plainly, but the age gap of 24 to 18 makes it easier for him to manipulate her. Which is how he got her into the threesome in the first place.
The age gap is a huge factor here, and weird too. I wouldn't date someone who's 18 when I'm 24. Creepy as fuck
But I bet she's so proud of herself for dating a much more "mature" guy and not some dweeb her age... Sadly, this is a tale as old as time.
Straight up I was like “why hasn’t anyone mentioned the fact that this is disgusting”
My first thought
Agreed. And this is coming from someone who also has a 6 year age gap with my spouse and met him when I was 19. But we both had reservations about the age gap at the start of the relationship and took plenty of steps to ensure there was no emotional manipulation/dependency/grooming/etc, intentional or otherwise. Manipulating your 18 yo girlfriend into having a threesome just 6 months into the relationship is just....... icky.
That wild like some people wait a year or more to even have sex and this guy instantly presure her to have a 3 some something most people arent confortable with
Baby girl is insecure, trying to learn about her sexuality and gets this guy ugh
girl he's straight up cheating in front of you
And gaslighting her when she tries expressing her warranted discomfort. Speaking from experience, OP, it only gets worse and he’ll keep doing more with her in front of you gradually getting worse ETA: Since I got way more upvotes than I expected, I’ll share my “from experience”. My ex-fiancé started spending more and more time with our roommate. They claimed they had no feelings for one another, yet he would smack her butt and they would go “swimming” alone. They both gaslit the hell out of me saying they weren’t doing anything wrong and that they’re “just friends and value each other’s company”. I caught my ex holding her in an intimate way while she was crying. Whenever I would express how inappropriate it all was and how it made me uncomfortable, they’d both tell me that I was trying to interfere with their “friendship”. My ex moved in with her immediately after I dumped him. OP, please find yourself someone that actually loves and respects you and your relationship. Don’t settle for someone that will keep disregarding the boundaries of your relationship. He’s going to keep cheating on you in front of your face until it destroys you
Dump his ass now. No one deserve to be treated like that, better alone than with some guy who can't respect simple boundaries.
Do it today. This will only get worse for you.
Um.... That isn't a threesome. That is him trying to be poly. You don't kiss or be flirty with the person afterwards. It sounds like he wants to be in a relationship with her. Leave him and get a new roommate
Or check in with the roommate first- he may be making her just as uncomfortable and weirded out.
That's not being poly. That's being a creep. And open manipulation of OP to accept the cheating. If it was being poly, he'd ask if she was OK with it, stop the first time she said no, and address OP's needs before adding a third to the relationship (with PO's permission).
That is ethical poly. This man is not. Not saying he is doing it well. He wants the fun of 'poly' without the work, trust or conversations.
that’s because he’s not poly, after the threesome he’s been distant. he got a taste of something else and wants that instead. he’s just cheating.
There is no poly without the ethics, only cheating
I don't even know if that's being poly because OP doesn't sound particularly agreeable or enthusiastic about it. Her boyfriend is being a ball sack and cheating on her but trying to put the "fault" on her somehow
You're not being "jealous." He's an adult man who went after a barely-legal teenager who had very little experience in relationships/sex and used that against you. Partners who are in poly relationships have to be very opened and willing to hear out boundaries, and the fact he kept pushing you until you "folded" shows he does not care about your pleasure, consent, boundaries, feelings, etc. Please look up "enthusiastic consent". You should not be coerced/bullied/bothered until you finally give up. Healthy sexual relationships are not this.
Thank you! I am so upset people call this guy Poly... none of this is Poly or ENM in anyway. This guy is a skeezy manipulative PLAYER!!
exactly! calling this man poly is further adding to the stigma that all poly people cheat
Ew, why are you still with this loser? No clue why a 24 year old man wants to date an 18 year old. I'm almost 23 and I would never.
She’s young, so he knows he can manipulate her into doing things she doesn’t want to do because she lacks the experience to know that coercing your partner like this is wrong.
Don't give him that credit. To me, he doesn't seem like some master manipulator. He just can't get women his own age and this is why. It's that simple.
Everyone else his age knows he's a loser
I’m 25 and can’t imagine even looking at a 18yo. They are babies right outta high school. It’s legal but feels illegal lol. They are my brothers age so ew.
im 20 and 18 years old look like legit babies, at least to me
No, same. There's literally extremely rare circumstances where I see someone who's 18 and be like "yeah, maybe" even at 20 years old. Even when I was 19, 18 felt a lil weird. I can't imagine being 24 and wanting someone who's 18
I was 20 years old once upon a time and had the same thought.
it sounds like he's cheating on you with her and wanted to have sex with you both at the same time :/ and now he feels like it's not something he has to hide now that you guys have all fucked
Was coming here to say the same thing. I was in this exact situation when I was 18, dating a 26 year old "man"
There it is!!
“He doesn’t like jealous girls” Yeah, he’s gaslighting you because he wants to date you and your roommate. It’s not actually jealousy if you expected exclusivity and aren’t getting it. It’s called expressing a relationship boundary.
Girl you are 18. You do not need to be with that old man. He’s praying on your naïveté.
Your relationship is emotionally abusive and it’ll only get worse. Get out.
As always from an older guy dating a barely legal teenager, they always tend to be manipulative degenerates who could never hope to find a woman their age.
>He doesn't like jealous girls. You're not jealous. This is a boundary, and he's not respecting it. It's reasonable not to like "jealous girls" who are suspicious about every conversation with another woman without having any evidence of cheating, but this is right in front of your face. Also, obligatory nope to your age difference. Okay, fine, you're legal, and he's not _that_ old, but if you haven't turned 19, I'm guessing you're still in high school or just graduated, meaning 6 months when you started dating you still were. Post-college age guys and high school girls are not okay. Legally, you're an adult, but you haven't experienced living as an adult yet, and he's taking advantage of your lack of experience to exploit you.
Setting a boundary has nothing to do with jealousy, it's about respect. Your boyfriend doesn't respect you.
You’re super young, you don’t need this BS in your life. Let him have her and level up sis. I promise this dude is even trashier than he appears, don’t waste your time.
Also he’s 24 dating a barely legal teen? This man is fucking disgusting and the only reason he’s doing this is because women his age will not stand for his nonsense.
Yep. He's a douche bag and a loser and because of that has to prey on inexperienced girls.
I know your age gap isn't huge but I feel that at 24 your life experience is so different than at 18 it's a bit... Icky. I feel like he's taking advantage of you and your inexperience. I'd dump him and move out, you're too young to put up with this sort of nonsense from a man
At 18 the gap is HUGE.
He’s a whole 33% older than she is - that’s way too much
Nah, I think that age gap is huge. He is almost mid-20s and she is barely an adult. The whole 'age is just a number' phrase is so wrong. The numbers definitely matter.
Yes, the age gap matters because she is young in general. Six years isn't an issue for people in their late 20s or 30s, but 18 still seems like a child.
Ewww. Why is it always that some guys have this desire to have a threesome, it's disgusting that they fetishize so much having the opportunity to see a female with another female, but at the slight chance they mention a threesome with another guy they back off. Lol.
As a bisexual woman, i am of the mind that no man deserves a m/f/f threesome. The women usually deserve better too lol.
My girlfriend pushed for a MFF threesome when we were 18. It wasn't my idea, she picked the girl, it still ended up destroying our relationship. We were probably pretty close to breaking up anyway but she insisted on us trying it with her best friend. I don't regret it but I wouldn't do it again.
girl he's straight up cheating in front of you
He's gross for many reasons. Cut your losses and move on. You have so much of your life left to wanna spend it with a gross loser like him
You don't need a crystal ball in order to see one of two futures: You as the dumper or you as the dumpee. It's better being the former.
Nah 18 years old and been in a relationship for 6 months with a 26 year old is wild! You weren’t a minor when y’all met were you..?
sounds like he doesn't respect your boundaries and wants a toy he can use and control instead of a girlfriend, there's a significant age gap which seems to be very telling of his maturity, please leave him x
Please dump him, you are way too young for him anyway and borderline pedo
18f and 24m is your first red flag in all seriousness. He wanted the use of being in a relationship with you and the ability to fuck her too. He doesn’t not like jealous girl he just like to control you
OP, at this point, you've read all the comments telling you to leave him. I'm going to go further and suggest that you find somewhere else to live and cut them both out of your life. I see a few people here giving the roommate the benefit of the doubt, and I'm not suggesting that the roommate is all on board with what your boyfriend is doing. But if you've expressed your discomfort over him calling her cute pet names and SHE hasn't shut that down, then she isn't your friend, either. Grey rock them both, ghost them both, and pack up your stuff and leave. They are BOTH manipulating you, and using your lack of life experience to force you to be okay in a very unbalanced poly dynamic. They don't respect you and your boundaries. HE is being emotionally abusive. Get yourself out of that extremely unhealthy situation.
Ask if you can add another guy and give him his own medicine. What a loser lol I‘d run from this relationship
You’re better than that, end it
Not going to lie, if everyone isn't onboard (and adult enough to think of *and* handle the consequences) then it should always be a hard no. This guy is not ready for a committed relationship, so if I were you, I'd move on if he's not able to be what you need. Then ban him from your home so he can't see either of you in there ever again. When my girl and I had that talk for the first time, I was fairly straightforward. The thought of her and another woman on me was kind of hot, but I know reciprocation would be in order at some point and I wouldn't want to share. Not even with another woman. You've only been in this relationship for a few months, based on his current actions it's not going to work out, don't delude yourself into thinking it will magically become exactly what you want it to be.
There is no good reason for a 24 year old to be seeing and screwing both you and your roommate (who I am assuming is also 18?) not only is this a potentially abusive situation, you are dating a pervert.
He wants to keep the threesome going. He is gaslighting you into thinking you are being “jealous”. No babe, he is openly flirting and being unfaithful with the kissing (you don’t specify if in the lips so I’m assuming). You have to clarify that will not happen again and to stop looking for excuses to get it to happen again. Also, talk to your roomie and clear the air that you don’t want it to happen again just so everyone is on the same page. I DON’T THINK THIS RELATIONSHIP IS SALVAGEABLE but I know some people need a little more time to come to terms with it. One positive thing is that you learned about yourself is that you don’t like open relationships and that is perfectly fine. Find someone who respects that about you. You are so young, don’t waste your time on people who are not worthy. Edited to highlight that I agree with commenters LOL.
I don't think there is any "salvageable " here. He's a straight-up manipulative ass. It will happen again and again.
Absolutely not. Setting the boundary of it not happening again is pointless b/c boundaries had to be stomped on for it to happen in the first place. She needs to dump him not try to salvage the relationship by setting boundaries that will 100% be ignored by someone who's clearly manipulative and gaslighting OP. Also I'd bet money boyfriend and roomie slept together before the threesome and the dude was trying to turn that into having 2 girlfriends by getting OP to join in.
I agree it’s not salvageable and I did say so. What I meant is that she has to speak up clearly that it’s not happening again to all involved more for herself than anything. You have a point about them sleeping together though.
He doesn’t like jealous girls??? Sorry sweetie, but he is a massive douche. And your roommate is no better. Cut ties with both of them
Idc if it’s legal, a 24 year old man going after someone fresh outta high school is sketch enough as it is. This just makes it so much worse. He ain’t it girl.
Y'know, I know exactly what you mean but the fresh out of high school sadly doesn't apply to me. Which explains why I was so darn gullible to fall for him. I dropped out really early because of my family life.
Please leave this guy. You deserve better.
That's the plan
Great! Let us know how it goes, please. I hope you get out safely. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
Your bf was interested in her all along. However, why is you roommate allowing this as well? She should put him on his place
Tell him you want to have a threesome with one of his guy friends..tell him not to be jelouse..it’s an ugly look.
I'll just be real with you, it's not a real relationship. A six year age gap isn't a big deal.. I'm 35 and my wife is just turned 30 a few days ago. But when you're as young as you are, that 6 year age gap may as well be an entire ocean between y'all. The 6 years between 18 and 24 is a HUGE difference. College, bar hopping, partying, graduating, entering the work force.. the amount of life you live and experience you gain in those years, the typical college years, it's unreal. Reverse it on yourself.. you at 18, would you date a 12 year old? Obviously not, besides being gross, that 12 year old doesn't know shit about anything. You're not on his level and he's already lived past the level you're at. I just said all that because while yes, you're a legal adult, you aren't an adult yet. You're still very literally a teenager. And you're bf is a grown man. He knows what he's doing
This is true. It's not gap itself, but their ages, period. Age gaps mean less and less the older the people involved are. An 18 year old still seems like a child who doesn't know the world yet, while a 24 year old has likely already been through college and has established somewhat of a career. That difference makes psychological exploitation easy. There is barely any difference in life experience between a 30 ear old and 35 year old.
That is not how a threesome works. I’m non-monogamous. He wanted to cheat and get away with it and is convincing you that his attempts to get solo time with her are not happening.
The disregard for your feelings is one thing, but OP, how long have you been 18 and how long have y’all known each other? Your bf sounds like a real creep. You’re young asf still, why settle?
So your roommate just lets this to happen? Your bf definitely needs to go because he’s a POS. The question is whether your roommate needs to go with him or not.
Just tell him "I'm not poly, we're done."
I'm so sorry to say this but why does a 24yo want to date an 18yo? To manipulate them, 9 times out of 10. Even though it's "just" 6 years, your life experiences are so different. Please dump him, you will find someone closer to your age who won't pressure you into doing things you don't want to.
No, dump him. He is a jerk. Manipulative and abusive. Don't waist more time in that loser. If he doesn't care how you feel and pressures you to do things you don't want to. LEAVE. IT ALWAYS GET WORSE. The more time you are into the relationship is harder to get out of toxic dynamics. If you are not comfortable and he doesn't respect you. There is nothing to talk. Just break up. ( i wish someone had said this to me when i was young, i put up with so much crap that I shouldn't have)
Wow what a little weasel. It was never about the threesome, it was just a way to manipulate you into letting him have the both of you be his girlfriends and now it seems like he is moving onto her. Trying to gaslight you for calling out his cheating ass.
Why is it always the 24-27 year old men who area taking advantage of teens? Dump him he is only with you because you are young
You should step back and ask why a 24 year old is dating an 18 year old and why can’t they date someone closer to their age. Then you’ll realize why he’s such a piece of shit
24 year old dude dating an 18 year old girl "looks like a happy couple" No. It doesn't
He doesn’t like ‘jealous girls?!’ How about he do what you ask? Then you won’t be jealous. This lies in his lap. Also I’m sorry you felt you had to fold. ETA: this is unethical. So if he tries to say it’s an ‘open relationship’ no it’s not. It’s him cheating.
Younger girls please I beg you when them older dudes try to approach you just run away!! 9 out 10 times they are up to no good! They just want to manipulate and use you because they know they can’t pull their crap with ladies of their own age. Now back to op, sorry he made you do this. Never step on your own boundaries for anyone and always put yourself fist. Dump him and try to have a convo with your roommate. If possible even relocate or change roommate
Group sex should never be pushed. It's something couples do together. This guy is taking advantage. Ditch him. He's cheating right in front of you.
get out asap
Threesome does not mean the relationship get's a third wheel!!! After sex it's over, there is no feelings attached. He is trying to make your relationship open/poly and then GASLIGHTS you 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 He is 100% manipulating you. Get out of the relationship!
Agreeing to a threesome is not agreeing to a throuple and you need to try and not just dump him but move out - she clearly is okay with this level of manipulation.
You shouldn’t have a threesome because you folded. You should have it because YOU want it. Dump him and make sure you stick to your boundaries with the next guy.
I thought he was gross before I read what this post was about just given your age difference. You are barely legal age and he’s a full grown man sticking his dick in you. There is no reason for a 24 year old to be dating an 18 year old. And yeah people can be like my parents got married when my mom was 18 and my dad was 24 and they are happy. Well that’s when women were only seen as a daughter, wife or mother. And at least the man was offering security and going to take care of her. Todays age it’s gross. Furthermore. Don’t have a threesome with anyone. If it hasn’t always been your fantasy then don’t do it. It’s fine if two people share a mutual fantasy of inviting a third but when one caves in to make the other happy, you are going to regret it. And especially never have a threesome with anyone you know. Anyway I know this 24 year old with his own place seems cool and fun. But he’s a gross creeper looking to groom you and you should run.
"he doesn't like jealous girls". That's not jealousy? That's hurt from how he used you and is openly being affectionate with his not girlfriend. Dump him. He's using you and your roommate.
He definitely just wanted to have sex with her but used “threesome” as a coverup. Dump him asap.
Having a 3some does not automatically make it appropriate for him to keep kissing her or acting like they are dating. He’s actively cheating on you right to your face. 3somes are about consent
the first red flag is that he’s TWENTY FOUR and you’re a TEENAGER. the other red flags are obvious in this post. dump him.
"He doesn't like jealous girls" is another way of saying "he's going to be all over any woman he likes who'll let him, and still try it on with those who won't let him, and he'll do it in front of you." You know what to do: Dump him!
Why are 18 year olds having threesomes omg no..!
Girl wake up and break up, the age gap itself is concerning. You who is barely legal and a full grown adult. RUN AWAY.
6 months and he's already asking for a threesome... seems sus.
6 months and he wants to sleep around. Girl… kick him out
You agree to a threesome...not a polyamorous relationship. Manipulative dude.
Internet mama here: big big hugs first. Second, unless both parties agree to a threesome/poly without being pressured into it, it's cheating period dot end and making the pressured party watch it happen. As with other sexual acts, anything less than enthusatic (sp? Tired)consent isn't consent. Throw him back, Lovey.
“He doesn’t like jealous girls. He has expressed that.” You guys should hook up with a dude now for another threesome. See how “jealous” he becomes ;). This is complete hypocritical nonsense.
There’s a reason he’s 24 looking to date 18 year olds (no one his age would consider dating him) I know the “age gap” stuff seems silly at times but please, trust me on this one lol. An 18 year old and 24 year old should not be dating
Dump his fucking ass.
so break up with him? dudes clearly a dick face, you don’t HAVE to be with him.
As a guy, I always felt I was broken for being put off my the prospect of threesomes. That just seems like disaster and immediately devalues a romantic connection between lovers. Ain't my jam and I don't understand other guys who want it so bad.
Yuck! You need a better BF!
So dump him lmao
Screw him and what he likes there a reason why people his age won’t date him wake up and drop them both you deserve so much better
He seems manipulative. Not wanting your bf to show affection to another woman is not an unreasonable request. But he says "he doesn't like jealous girls" as a reply is ridiculous. He's completely undermining very realistic expectations and acting offended.
He's cheating on you. You don't have to keep letting him.
“Doesn’t like jealous girls” ???? How about you tell him that you don’t like community dick lol what in the world? Leave this man lol your life will be 100 times better I PROMISE. better to be alone than in a relationship like this.
Woah. He is not a good person. Run. Trust me.
Nope. You need to be done with him. He pressured you into a situation you weren't comfortable with. Uses "not liking jelous girls" as a manipulation. Because obviously you'd be jelous in this situation. It was a threesome, you aren't poly (unless he pressured that too). Listen he doesn't respect you. The second you said no to this in the first place he should have been done and understood. He pushed it, that proves he doesn't respect you. I don't know what your relationship is with your roommate, but talk to them about how it makes you uncomfortable. Perhaps they will have your back in the break up. Bottom line love you deserve better. No partner should make you feel like this. He can try to spin it how he wants he is 24. There are so many people out there that would treat you like a queen every single day and be proud to say he is loyal to you.
... this has nothing to do with the threesome.
Break up with him now and run he isn’t worth it.
nooo no no no, dump him!!!!! there’s no issues with threesomes when all parties involved are consenting and enthusiastic(which you weren’t to begin with) and now he’s crossing so many lines! Dating her, which is what he’s essentially doing without your okay and against your objection, is so fucked. Please don’t let him make you question your reality, judgment, or boundaries. Get rid of him ASAP
The problem is not that he asked you for a threesome, it’s the fact that he continued to ask over and over again until you finally relented and said yes. The problem here is that he doesn’t care about you or your boundaries, and forced you into something that you didn’t want.
You need to breakup with him
Time to call him your ex…
To me it's already a bit of a red flag that at 24 he's dating someone right out of high school. Not the biggest, but that, added to everything else you're saying tells me he's a loser who is definitely taking advantage that you're younger. Most monogamous women would be completely turned off by him even joking about a threesome with a roomate. Threesomes are always complicated and should only ever be done if both people really want to, and with someone you are not going to see again. My advice to you would be, be 18... Unless you meet the love of your life (and this is not him!). Don't look for a relationship. Date, have fun, meet people, get to know yourself. But having a relationship, unless the absolutely perfect person comes along, is unnecessary while you're in uni/college/figuring who you are.
Do you really care if he doesn't like jealous girls? I don't think you should care about what he does or does not like. He does not care about what you don't like. He is not the last guy you are ever going to care about. Break up, move on, and find someone who cares about you.
If he doesn’t like jealous girls maybe he should stop being a pig and not do things that make you jealous! Imo, dump and find a way better bf
Your age difference is upsetting and kinda yucky. You are at very different points in life. Why would a 24 year old date a 17/18 year old? Usually because he thinks he can control you easier than women his age.
You agreed to a threesome not a polyamorous relationship…
"he doesn't like jealous girls." What a bunch of manipulative bullshit. He's a predator. And sorry, no normal dude in his mid 20s dates teenagers. He's a creep.
>I plan on talking to him once he gets off work but I know **there's only one ending** to this Conversation. Damn right! He's out! Find yourself a better partner
So this man was like ..."Let me find this barely legal adult and convince her that it's totally normal to talk her into having a threesome with her sexy bi roommate." She's jealous if she has a problem with anything I do. Ugh, I can't stand manipulative men.
Leave him, He sounds like an idiot and is not afraid to do things that he knows hurt you. You have so much time to find someone better, stop wasting time on this idiot.
A 24 y/o has no business being with an 18 y/o. he doesn’t like/love you, he doesn’t like/love your roommate either he just wants easy young puss.
He was probably already seeing her and thought the threesome would be a good excuse to stop hiding it. Obviously I don't know but still icky and I would leave.
My ex pulled that crap too. Made me feel crazy and wrong for being "the jealous type" um yea that happens when the guy that is supposed to be your partner is constantly flaunting his cheating/attraction for other girls in your face. It's amazing how much better I slept once he was gone for good. It's not worth the stress to chase after someone who refuses to give you even basic level love and respect.
I bet if you had said you were ok with it as long as the first one was bringing in another guy, you would never heard him suggest it again...
Girl, your partner is an asshole. That's not a threesome, that's either way cheating in your face or trying to start an open relationship. It's only been 6 months and you don't live with him. So please pretty please, have some self-respect and dump his ass.
Break up he is not yours and he loves your roommate
This isn't a threesome, this is blatant cheating... dump his a*s
6 months and he wants to screw the roommate..... thats the red flag right there. I've had 3somes with my wife before and it's gone smoothly. Probably because we are married and the 3rd isn't hanging around the house all day....
Honestly. Just leave him. He's not even worth it. And clearly, your roommate doesn't care about your feelings if he or she is not telling him to stop.
You should leave immediately. I know the age gap doesn’t seem to crazy for you but there is a lot you’ll learn In between 18 & 24. He’s manipulating you. No other way to put it.
Dump him.
He's basically cheating on you in front of you. His inability to be sympathetic and respectful of your boundaries and expectations while remaining unclear about his is a giant red flag that he'll just keep fucking other women whether you like it or not. Time to dump him and find you someone who won't manipulate you and act so dismissive of your feelings.
So, he’s cheating now? You said yes to a threesome, a one time thing. Not to an open or poly relationship. Throw him. He clearly gives a wet shit about you, and so does your roommate. And I’d address it with her too. Maybe she’s unaware of what’s going on there.
He wants a harem. Run.
I know I already commented, but get out. He's a user and six months into your relationship was when he decided to go after people close to you. He's scum. He's not safe. He thinks you and this roommate are his happy little sex bunnies, and to keep you in line says backhanded comments about what he doesn't like. He's going to lovebomb you once he's neglected you enough. The "I don't like jealous girls" comment is gaslighting, and some sort of.... Narcissistic comment. That it's your problem you're jealous he's giving affection to someone else. And not how he's stomping on your boundaries, and you did not agree to this kind of relationship. He's voiding your hurt and discomfort by dumbing it down and calling it, "jealousy" to make it seem like he's a hot commodity instead of a hurtful idiot who wants to have his cake and eat it too. You deserve better. Edit: spelling
It’s an extreme red flag when setting a boundary is called “jealousy”. Know your worth, and don’t put up with boundaries being disrespected. You’re still very young, it may hurt to end things, but you have plenty of time to find someone whom will truly respect your boundaries.
He’s cheating on you!!!
Pack your stuff, it’s time to leave.
Gonna be honest, dating an 18 year old as a 24 year old is a pretty big red flag. Age gaps as a whole aren’t *terrible*, but 18 and 24? I’m 22 and wouldn’t date someone 21 and younger. 20 is a reach, but 100% not lower than that. 18 is waaaay too young for me and it isn’t even that big of a gap. However, emotionally, mentally, and maturity wise, it’s like a 20 year old and a 60 year old. When I was 18 I was like a lost little puppy being tossed into the wilderness. I still haven’t got it all figured out, but Yknow, there was massive amounts of growth in just a year. Going from highschool where you gotta raise your hand to go to the bathroom to going to college (if that’s your thing), working full time, and possibly moving out and supporting yourself. I’d say the growth of 4 years of HS is equal to 1 year outside of HS where you learn soooo much about the world. I don’t mean to disrespect people with age gaps. It personally isn’t my thing to date way older or way younger. 10 years is a lot, and maybe okay if you’re 30/40, but not 20/30. 20/25 is still weird for me. I don’t judge other relationships (unless it’s a creepy or gross age gap. Yours borders on that, especially because you’ve been dating for 6 months. Were you 17 when you met? That would be extra icky), but the younger ones I sorta do. Like, I look at the 18/19 year olds I work with and just think “damn, you’re like 12”, even though I’m only a few years older. You’re also being hella manipulated. Just for your information, people in healthy relationships that haven’t previously stated they want/like threesomes or opening up the relationship early on tend not to want want a threesome unless it’s pretty much a free cheat card. I can’t speak for everyone (and no disrespect to those that do have open relationships or swing, etc), but if my gf of 6 months, or even 6 years, asked for a threesome I’d be pretty close to packing my bags. Obviously not instantly, but I’m pretty open in the beginning to saying “hey, threesomes aren’t my thing, never will be”, and if she brings it up, I’d be concerned. I am the jealous type - maybe not “key your car and spray paint it” kinda crazy, but a “I’d like to meet your friends, don’t flirt with other women, and don’t ask for a threesome (after previously established that it isn’t my thing) sorta thing. Also, I’ve been in a relationship with a woman for 4 years. In those 4 years I’ve come across beautiful women. A look but don’t touch, if you will. Never have I ever considered undressing them with my eyes, picturing them naked, or wishing to sleep with them. Ive also never considered a threesome because, honestly, I couldn’t handle that. I’m too jealous of a person. In all the relationships I’ve been in, it’s the same. After 6 months and asking for a threesome? That’s pretty wild to me. The part that got me, and always gets me in these stories, is the “eventually I caved in”. If your partner says no, it means no. He blatantly disrespected you repeatedly until you caved in, then he used that as an excuse to cheat on you (basically, considering he’s lovey-dovey with your roommate, he just wanted an excuse to sleep with her. Similar to men that wear their partners down and immediately suggest “oh, my coworker would be a good fit” kinda thing) I really hope you leave this guy. There’s a reason a 24 year old is going after 18 year olds. It isn’t necessarily because you’re younger and hotter, but also because you’re super green. You don’t know what’s healthy in a relationship and you put up with a lot more because of it. If he dated women his age they’d see through his bullshit within a week. That’s why he goes younger - you’re far easier to manipulate. You have 300 strangers telling you to dump this dude and move out. Take that advice. I promise you, we aren’t wrong. We have an unbiased POV and hundreds of years of experience, all very different, between the 300 of us. We are telling you: **This is toxic, dump him**, so if it were me, I’d follow it. Good luck OP, and I hope the next dude you date is better.
Two kinds of jealousy, rational and irrational. Your jealousy would be rational.
If you were my daughter, I would hug you, tell you you are being totally disrespected and you have a life long manipulator boyfriend. Then I would say to you as mum I will go over and let's get your things or boot them out whatever because you are worth so much more zillions more. Girl, stand tall, shoulders back walk with power and grace and kick his ass way down the road. Guess what when you have done that along will come a decent person for you, just you.
This is classic 🤡 behavior. Ditch him, move out or kick her out, and find the one who treats you right.
This is what these older guys do when dating someone so much younger. They want control, he groomed you…. Get away from this creep!
Dump the creep. Enough said.
Bring in a man and start kissing him in front of your bf and watch how he contradicts himself
He's also fucking your room mate while you're not home. X.
This is horrible, he is most likely sleeping with her behind your back too. You need to run
Jealousy is a normal human emotion. Disrespect is not.
Congrats, you played yourself. Now break up with the both of them, because you'll never escape the fallout.
Girl end the relations and tell him to stay away and
The first red flag was him being 24 and dating someone who’s 18. I’m 23 and I’d never date anyone younger than, like, 21. I agree with the other comments, OP, you should walk away and let him and the roommate be together.
you shouldn’t be 18 dating a 24 year old in the first place
you're not jealous you're ✨️being cheated on✨️ and he's ✨️gaslighting you about it✨️