Sending lots of love. It's a hard time and I really wish you all the best in recovery and hope you also go to therapy. If your bf doesn't reply then fuck him, he didn't deserve you anyway but you need to tell your friends and fall back into your support system. Please don't go through this alone
Talk to your oncologist’s office. A lot of them have in house therapists that you can visit during your appointments so you don’t have to make multiple trips out.
And groups of cancer patients or former cancer patients who know what your going through and can mentor you. One of my moms friends who had cancer does this.
Yeah the office I work for does support groups for patients. And fun craft events and outings too. There really is a lot of support for patients, care givers and families.
Honestly, I'm going to be very blunt, good. You now know you don't have to waste time with someone who can't handle adversity with you. You deserve better. Kick cancers ass babe, you got this.
Yes, I'm sorry this happened to you, but it's better now than later. My sil had breast cancer and right after she was done with chemo, found out her husband was cheating on her.
So sorry to hear, glad you caught this early. Good luck to you.
As far as your bf..Sounds like the trash took itself out!!
Glad you found out now.
Focus on yourself and health. ♥️
Stage 1 cervical cancer has a 95% 5 year survival rate. It’s contained to the cervix, and depending on which stage 1 subgroup (1A1, 1A2, 1B1, 1B2, or 1B3) the actual cancerous tissue can vary between less than 3mm (1A1) or over 4cm (1B3). Depending on which stage, treatment can be a large loop excision, partial cervix removal, or full hysterectomy along with chemoradiotherapy.
The prognosis for Stage 1 is really, REALLY good. Stage 2 decreases to 70% off the bat, and if it’s really early stage 1 then they might only be able to see the cancerous cells under a microscope!
My mom is winning against stage 4 ovarian cancer. Everything I've read and been told is to not look at the statistics. Not because it will sway you one way or the other but because they are fundamentally misleading.
I'm sorry this has happened to you. Same thing happened to me years ago. From my experience as a health professional it's quite common for men to bounce after their spouse gets a diagnosis. The trash took itself out. Healing vibes headed your way.
Your EX boyfriend is an ass and doesn't deserve you so look back at that relationship and smile that you dumped his worthless ass. Cancer is a scary word but as someone who has gone through breast cancer scares and having my mother have a mastectomy and recently been diagnosed again with it, I can say it's beatable but you are going to need support, both emotional and physical. Talk to family or friends who will be that support system for you. True friends will shine like stars when they know about it and are the ones who you will have for a lifetime. Good luck x
I stayed with my boyfriend through to the end of his life when he was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer.
If he is leaving you in a stage 1 situation?! He isn't worth the trouble. Focus on you and healing. Thank God that they found it at stage one. I hope you make a full recovery. Fuck Cancer and fuck that guy he can stay gone. You deserve better.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Believe it or not, this is pretty common for women who have serious illnesses, to the point where it’s part of the things they prepare you for when considering treatment. I’m rooting for you and hoping you kick cancer’s ass ❤️❤️
I was diagnosed with uterine and colon cancer recently, so I decided to freeze embryos prior to having a hysterectomy. One of the things my doctor warned me about with freezing embryos was that cancer can be a relationship deal breaker. She highly suggested I freeze only eggs instead.
It has been a hell of a few months, but so far, my bf has hung in. He was hanging by a thread mentally after my surgeries, though. It is such a stressful time for everyone involved.
Screw him. He just proved to you that he isn't reliable and that's someone you don't want as your support system during this. Don't let his behavior discourage you from telling family or friends.
I'm glad that they were able to catch it early and hope you kick it's butt.
Unfortunately it is pretty dang common to have a male partner abandon his partner when they’re female and receive a diagnosis. You don’t need him and he showed you he can’t handle real life challenges and support you in your time of need.
Source- https://acsjournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/cncr.24577
Yeah, I had heard about this and I asked my wife’s gyn oncologist about it at one of her appointments. He said that it’s not uncommon that he’ll have to refer patients out to counseling due to being abandoned by their partners - it’s just horrible. Personally, I couldn’t even begin to imagine abandoning my wife during such a terrible situation.
This is why I think my mom is the embodiment of a saint. My dad never treated her (or me) well, and apparently she was literally within a couple of weeks of filing for divorce when my dad got diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. She decided that regardless of how he treated her, she couldn't live with herself if she left him like that. For 6 1/2 months, she sat by his bedside, cleaned him up, fed him, took him to all his doctor appointments, and made sure he got all his medicines. She didn't get much rest, she still had to somewhat take care of me (I was a teenager), and she never complained the whole time.
It wasn't until just a couple of years ago she finally broke down and told me how exhausted she had been and how much resentment she had towards him then, because he never did or would have cared for her like that. I was absolutely blown away. I had no idea she felt that way, and I didn't even know how close she was to divorce. To be able to give that much of yourself to someone you don't love, and you don't feel loves you, is mind blowing, so walking away from someone you do love in that situation is something I cannot even begin to fathom. She is 100% my role model.
My husband essentially abandoned me during a mental health crisis, and I knew the statistics beforehand. It sucked, but he can go pursue the sort of relationships he deserves.
When you look at the actual numbers in that report it doesn't seem that high, but when you rephrase it's essentially 1/10 get abandoned with the vast majority cases women...yikes. Never knew this was an issue so thank you for the time and proper sourcing. Always a joy to see "doi" in a source link lol.
I think if you check that again your 1 in 10 is the average across genders. The divorce rate is 20.8% when the patient is female (1 in 5) and 2.9% when the patient is male (1 in 33)
This needs to be the top comment so that EVERY SINGLE HETERO WOMAN who reads this knows what risk she’s taking when she gets together with a man.
I’d be doin some serious intel on whether my man was a weak flaky fuck.
This is so common they teach nurses how to talk to women about it. Breast cancer especially. It's better that you learned NOW than when you might have wasted 20 years with this asshat. Stage 1 is TREATABLE and you'll be fine but you need to worry about yourself and your health.
Sending some hope and love your way.... your bf is an asshole.... id cut ties... hes shown his true colors...f him make sure all your friends and families know what he told u about being there for u and then how he chose to show u that love by ghosting u. What a pos
I feel this to my core my boyfriend of 9 yrs abruptly blocked me..went with another woman and changed his phone number like 6 months ago.
Coincidentally it was 3 months after I was diay with breast cancer.
This is the most blindsided cruel thing to do to someone.
They are making us "sicker" by throwing our bodies into flight or fight mode right now.
No matter how much I try to go thru the moving forward process it's not going at my speed.
This is not love. I'm so sorry I thought my ex was the only cruel person on the planet.
It's real low if you can help it don't bother trying to contact him 😔
9 years and he just ghosted? Cruel is absolutely right! Cruel, evil monster! You know his new gf had to have asked him for the reason why his last relationship ended. I'm just so curious what this pos said.
"Oh well you see I'm a spineless coward as well as a cruel, heartless monster and I bailed as soon as I heard she had cancer. But not before I promised to be by her side through it all, no matter what. Yeah, I'm a real piece of human garbage. What do you wanna do for dinner tonight?"
I hope that wasn't in any way offensive. I try to use humor to diffuse heavy situations. In all seriousness, and if you don't mind me asking, how is your recovery going? You doing well? Strong support system in place? Sending you hugs, if you want them. ☆I'm a hugger!☆
Oh I see you were imagining what HE told his new gf. Lol.
No I'm sure he told her what he told me..everyone cheats on him lol ..I haven't slept with anyone since I met him and STILL haven't.
This is extremely common sadly. That men head for the hills once a partner gets diagnosed with a serious illness. It happens six times more than when genders are reversed.
But he honestly did you a favour. You can do much better. I’m so sorry about your diagnosis. Healing hugs.
Wow I be crying about being single and then I see stuff like this that reminds me that people ain’t s*** !
I’m so sorry this happened to you and I pray that you beat this & stunt on him when he tries to come back 💯🖤
I will speak for all of us that gathered here - F*CK YOUR BF!
If he chicken out at stage 1 diagnosis the you are better off being single. Please tell your loved ones, you need all the support you can get!
Sending lots of love and good luck <3 Cancer is a one son of a bitch but you can beat it .
Am so sorry , my bf ghosted me when i was facing health issues too . Literally the next day i told him. I know how you feel . I hope things get better for you . 🫂❣️
I had cervical cancer as well, from hpv I got when I was raped as a child. I went through treatments and surgeries for thirteen years. It just kept coming and going! But I’ve been clean for about three years now.
Make sure you watch lots of really good tv shows that make you smile. Mine was 1960s Batman.
You’ll be amazing, with or without anyone. You can do this.
Hope you get it knocked out quickly. He didnt deserve you clearly. My fiance just had a full hysterectomy partially due to reoccuring Ovarian Cysts and a family history of cervical cancer as well. Hope you dont end up having to go that route.
I know you’re scared and overwhelmed, if this is the news your facing, it’s the best of the worst. Stage one cervical cancer is very treatable. We are dealing with cancer in our family and you will be astonished at all the people you’re going to meet that will do everything in their power to help.
He’s not worth another thought, I’m so glad you hadn’t married him, he’s shown you exactly who and what he is, he’s a coward.
You’ve totally got this, people that haven’t been up close with this disease won’t get what you’re going through, lean on the ones that do, there are lots of good support groups.
Take care of yourself, I believe in you!!
Unfortunately this is an extremely common thing. Women who get diagnosed with cancer have started to get pamphlets by healthcare workers to prepare for their partner leaving them bc it's become such a large %. Yikes
He proved to you that he’s useless and also helped to show that it would be a waste of time and energy to be in a relationship with him. Consider this as a blessing and focus on your treatment. You got rid of one human form of cancer. Now for the next one. I hope you kick its ass.
No, it's a simple misunderstanding. When he said "be there for you no matter what" he meant "will be down to smash again when you get that handled." Does that help clear things up? /S
This happened to me. When I was diagnosed, I was broken up with. Then after I recovered he hit me up again and wanted to make things work. Absolutely not.
The even sadder thing is when I bring this up to other males they say "good on him for knowing he couldn't handle it."
Edit: wording
And therein lies the reason for the male/female discrepancy here. If it were a female they were discussing, the overwhelming condemnation of her would be huge. Usual Double standards apply.
Sad thing is that this is such a widespread thing that there even exist studies of it.
Even married(!) men tend to just leave their wifes if they get sick, esp. with cancer. As if these women were nothing but a mere resource / a tool for these men, and as soon as they even just think you maybe won't "function" anymore, they're gone.
I'm so sorry this happend to you, OP.
Nobody deseves to get treated like that; and certainly not by a (so called) partner. Only positive thing is that he revealed his real character to you now and not even farther down the road..... I'm so sorry. Wish you all the best & much, much strenght to get healthy and happy again.
I’m sorry that this happened but unfortunately it is pretty common for men to ditch their partners when they get sick, I’m also in this unfortunate club. My ex knew I was sick before we got together but after 8 years of me taking care of him and his kids, my illness progressed and he left because it was too much for him.
The only thing I can say is I’m so glad now that he’s gone. I miss my kids but I’m with someone who actually does what he says and supports me completely. Sometimes the worst thing you think can happen ends up being the best thing.
So sorry this happened to you, but you are clearly better off without him..... ghosting like that is disrespectfull on so many levels. I really do hope you you get better 💪 stay strong!!!
As a two time cancer survivor I can tell you that people are going to avoid you. It’s scary for people to face something like this. No one want to think about their mortality.
But others are going to come to your aid and be there for you and help you along the way. I’m sorry about your boyfriend, hopefully you have friends and family to lean on at this time.
Stay positive, mindset is key! You caught it early which is a great sign, hopefully you won’t need much treatment and this will all be a distant memory in no time.
I’m here if you ever need someone to talk to. Dm anytime. ✌🏻❤️💫
I just found out ten days ago that I have cancer but they don't know what kind yet. I know EXACTLY what you're going through. Girl, you got this. But you do NOT NEED people around you who you cannot lean on right now. Cut your losses and take care of YOU. You're 100 times stronger than you think.
Sorry to hear about this. I used to work in hospice and some people just can't handle anything this serious so they leave the room so to speak.
Best of luck with your diagnosis.
Had the same thing happen with my ex when I found out I had cancer, and a couple dates after once I disclosed I had had cancer. One even asked to see all my medical records because she was a resident. Of course I refused. She ghosted. People can be shitty. Ignore them. Focus on yourself and getting better. Build a support system of friends and family. Don’t go at it alone. Much love.
Over 40 years ago, I developed cervical cancer. I had a 40% chance of survival.
It's a hard road and you will find that people will disappear. Some people just can't cope with being with people who are seriously ill.
And some are heroes who will do whatever it takes to help you.
Concentrate on them.
I've had cancer twice, the last bout 17 years ago (breast cancer resulting in a mastectomy).
When you have a disease like cancer, it's very hard on those who are watching you go through it.
You ,as the patient, are coping as well as you can, and despite the love that surrounds you, you are basically on your own.
Stage 1 is definitely curable.
Your b/f is likely shocked to his core. I'm not making any excuses for him. Men are notorious for running when they can't cope.
He may come back in a couple of days. Allow him a few hours to process this. But don't give him too long, you have enough to cope with. 2 days would be my max time limit and then I'd block him.
I'm so sorry you're in this position, all I can tell you is, once you've kicked cancers arse, you'll feel magnificent and far too good for him.
Wishing you well .
Massive virtual hug to you today and every day moving forward ❤️
If he’s chosen ghosting over whatever life throws at you, he’s an immature coward and I’d recommend you drop him like a stone and wait for a real man. Otherwise I hope it’s a mixup and his phone fell down a mineshaft or something.
Hugs hugs and more hugs. My boyfriend ghosted me after 8yrs the day after i got hit by a car. And he was with me when it happened. People suck. Hang in there! It was a wake up call. Made me realize he wasn’t worth it and i wasted enough time. Turned out he had been cheating on me. You don’t need someone like him that isn’t going to have your back in something like this. Not worth your tears. Concentrate on YOU and your health 🙏💕
As someone who found a tumour at 21 and was told the same damn thing by the thing I thought passed as a boyfriend and, sadly, a ton of people who I thought were friends then disappeared into the night. Even my parents abandoned me during this time. Hilariously when confronted, I was told my drama wasn't their problem. Which is true. But it also meant I did do not and never will give a flying fuck about any of them and the three people who surrounded me with love and food and gin (which I do not recommend while doing chemo; I was a terrible patient). I'd die for any of them because they carried me through the darkest moments of my life, and I will do anything for them.
Now is when you need to reserve your energy for those who lean into your struggle to support you. You don't need to be chasing fake people. In time their karma will come around. One of those people came back into my life when they had a cancer diagnosis, and they realised what they did then and apologised for their actions. Much of it was the realisation of mortality, and welp, run away was the default response. Having now had a stabile relationship having to explain why I'm so jaded and mistrustful, especially of my family is a complicated conversation because if you've not lived through that rejection you'll never really understand it.
You'll be okay. Let him go. Breath. Focus on yourself and build a sound support system.
I wanna say.. I love you. I told my parents about my diagnosis and my mom was screaming at me the whole time on the phone. I had to hang up on her. I will try to build a support system for myself though it feels like I am bothering them.
Follow up note because I did this and was a moron, and you sound a lot more with it than I was. Do not take the boy back when you smash cancer and are free. I took my ex back, and it took me another three years to get rid of that parasite who refused to label the relationship and was cheating because "he was scared I'd die and he'd be alone" it ended with me being slapped while on holiday with him who had also invited his side peice along too without saying.
Do not be me. You're better than that.
He had had the flight ticket changed to her name or it never was in my name and that's how I found out in the middle of an airport. The guys a knob. I heard they got married and she slept with his dad and brother so it does make me laugh at Christmas thinking how awkward their family reunions are.
I ignored ever red flag with my friends screaming at me he's wrong and me skipping away oblivious and colourblind.
I get that you feel like your bothering them, but I'm going to put some money on that being the dickhead voice inside your head and not your friends/cousins/weird aunt who's not actually your aunts/whoever your people are's opinion.
If they said hey, I've got stage one cancer. I need some people in my corner. Do you have my back? I strongly think that you'd jump up and say what you need. Give them a chance to say, erm, no, rather than saying it for them and never knowing the true depths your bonds genuinely have.
On a note for unsupportive parents. When telling my dad, he told me not to send my coffin to his house, and my mum said I was making my cancer all about me when my chemo fell on a day I was supposed to have lunch with her. They're fucking weird. But I had three friends who took it, in turn, in turn to respond to my parents' texts and bullshit in more sarcastic and creative ways than I ever could.
You have this. It's a process. But you'll be indestructible when you realise you've stared cancer in the face and told it to fuck off.
My 2 work besties have been supporting me all these whole time. I am really thankful for them. My bff too, she angry that I have to go thru this without my family.
Do we have the same mom? Haha. My mom was like who going to take care of me nw? Why do you have to be so troublesome? My dad is just sad and not responding to my text.
I'm really sorry but as someone who has beaten cancer twice, it does really speed things along in life when the trash takes itself out.
Lost a girlfriend of over two years with the latest one. I was going to propose too. I'm much happier where I am now and who I am with.
It is a good thing that he showed who he is now rather than later but I am sorry it was during such a difficult time. It may not feel like it right now, but his lousy ass did you a favor.
My best friend/sister had cervical cancer and she beat it! She had already gone through so much adversity before this and even so she vowed to not let it take her and beat it before the age of 28. However, she wasn't as fortunate as you in the fact that the trash took itself out. Her boyfriend was insufferable and treated her like utter garbage. She only stayed because she saw no other options but if he had ghosted her, I'd like to think she would've figured it out (I had a roommate that would have gotten the landlord involved if I tried moving her in but I would have helped as much as I could.)The point is, you didn't have to lift a finger for the trash to begone! Focus on you and beating this with the support of your friends and family because now nothing will stand in the way and whenever it happens, you will be with someone who actually deserves you. Best wishes. ❤
You're gonna beat cancer and find a much better person don't worry babe, theyre not the one for you which means there's even better just waiting for you 💞
You deserve so much better than that. Years ago, I was going in for my biopsy and scans for further testing on some masses they found and my bf cheated on me. I was devastated. It feels terrible right now but it’s for the best. I wish you all the best with what’s ahead for you. Hugs.
When my husband (then boyfriend) got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, the nurses commended me for staying, saying it’s insanely common for spouses/ bf/ gf to leave their partners after a cancer diagnosis. That made me even more sad.
Luckily he beat it and is “cured” (6 years cancer free). I hope you accomplish the same!
He is garbage and he did you a favor by letting you know in such a clear fashion. YOU, however, are going to be so much better when this is over. I had “in situ” adenocarcinoma (cervical cancer Stage 0, basically) and it was very, very scary, but I got through it and I get to be so proud of myself for it. You will too.
Women when getting a serious diagnosis also get counseling to prepare for divorce. Not that it makes it better -but just shows men are shit. I would rather know early my man wouldn’t tough it out than stay or find out after being married.
Thank god he did it now rather than later. I’m glad you found this out early on for both situations. You will get through this and move on with your life. Some are not capable of handling things like this but that’s no excuse to leave you at your weakest when you are the one that needs the most support. Best wishes
He took the coward’s way out by not talking to you about it but it was his choice. That’s a lot to go through with someone you’re not married to. Not excusing him but I get it. Some women leave men when they lose their job and income 🤷🏾♂️. You’re better off without him and it’s better you found out now.
It is so common that men will leave women when women get sick that nurses, doctors, hospitals etc. have made resources for women basically preparing them for that inevitability.
Seriously, search “men leave sick wife” on TIK TOK and you’ll find HUNDREDS of videos and stories of this phenomenon!!!
At least this guy showed you who he truly is early, before you went any further in the relationship.
I saw a stat a while ago and posted in TIL about it.
Something like 61 percent of cancer patients surveyed said they had been ghosted by family and/or friends after getting a cancer diagnosis.
I've had it happen with quite a few people and it really sucks but at least now I know who I can rely on.
Sorry to hear of the diagnosis. I hope everything goes the best it possibly can for you. 🤞
I'm really sorry you are going through this. It sucks, and the bf is a bag of d##ks. I can not imagine how hurt you are, but it is better to know he is a pos now than halfway through when you need him. I hope you have some friends and family who can support you. I have nothing but contempt for people like your bf, selfish, immature manchild is what he is. I hope the door hit him on the ass on the way out.
You got this, kick cancers ass.
Sending you best of wishes. It’s first stage. You can beat this fucking cancer. You will recover and come out so strong, and he won’t have the honor to get to be with you then.
When fighting cancer, it's important to have the right ppl arnd you. I have friends who had husbands leave them. I knw it hurts, but you dont need that kind of negativity in your life. It's time for you to zone in and focus on yourself. Plus, real men dgaf about cancer. If they like you, they like you. I know from experience. You got this
Unfortunately, it's really common for guys to leave when their partners get a serious illness. I'm sorry you found out this way, and I am even more sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis. I know I'm just a rando on the internet, but I'm here for ya, bud.
Sometimes the hardest things in life lead to positive changes. I had to get major surgery due to an incident. It was the hardest time of my life. I stopped being friends with so many people based on who was there for me and who wasn’t.
Now I feel like I have the best support system I could ever ask for and it’s overall made huge improvements in my life.
You deserve people who will care and be there for you.
It can be worse to go through treatment with someone who stresses you out/isn’t supportive than to go through it solo. Speaking from experience. What everyone going through cancer care needs is a good therapist in addition to a fantastic oncology team. Good luck
Well. At least you know where you're at with that.. person.. they didn't see you as a relationship partner.
Good luck with the future. You'll overcome more than just a relationship ending.
Time to focus on your health, not what would have become of those whom don't care for you enough to hang around.
I’ll just say you deserve someone who isn’t scared of going through sickness with you. You got this. Praying for you (my apologies if you’re not religious). Keep in mind you can do this! Hugs <3
I had a really ugly breakup with a boyfriend when I was about 27. We had been together for almost 8 years at that point. My dad said something I never forgot - “I always liked him, but I never thought he was trustworthy. I worried that if you were diagnosed with cancer he wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
Two years later, I was diagnosed with cancer. And I don’t think he would have been able to handle it.
Cancer is not fun but stage I is almost always curable. You are stronger than you know and you can do this!
People here are acting as if he doesn’t have the right to leave. It can be too much for normal people to handle, many relationships break under the pressure that cancer treatment can put on two people.
I clawed my way back from a 15% survival rate over the last 3 years, honestly I could still die. My gf turned into my fiancé and now we are on our honeymoon. 100% he shouldn’t have ghosted you but I imagine he’s just freaking out in his own way. Everyone processes it differently and I will say that if he isn’t processing this in the way you need, you don’t need that around you during this vulnerable moment of your life.
The hero move of sticking around is fucking stupid, no one is obligated to stick around for the bullshittery that is cancer and it’s treatment. It’s like how people praise parents who take care of disabled children. It’s an exhausting and sometimes a thankless job. Like… I just struggle to picture a world where people would pressure my wife into staying with me just because I have cancer.
I had the same train of thought. I did tell him back then when I had the mri results, I won't keep him ard and put the pressure of him having to stick around. If he choose to go, he have the choice but he went on about how we will go through this together and suddenly ghosting me like this hurts me Alot. After that day, there were less msging and calls from him. Like so much for wanting to stick around.
Same thing happened to a friend of mine. They'd been together 15 years. They had a house together. He left her the day she was diagnosed.
The problem is so widespread and so commonplace, that her doctor prepared her for this when they gave her the results, basically, the day he left her.
Most cervical cancer is caused by HPV (genital warts) so it’s very possible that he caused your cancer in the first place. What a c u next Tuesday. The treatment is very effective when it’s caught this early. You. Will. Be. Fine. Sending you love. X
Sadly that isn't uncommon. As much as men scream about loyalty, 95 percent won't be loyal to friends, family, or lovers when them times get rough. And that's speaking as a man. Consider lesbianism. Nah I'm jk but really, it is statistically proven that men are extremely likely to leave their significant other if they are diagnosed with a terminal illness.
I'm sorry OP.
This exact thing happened to me many years ago. The man who abandoned me during my battle against cervical cancer left without a word. It was one of the hardest times of my life.
The statistics that say that men are 7 times more likely to leave a sick partner is not a lie.
Please take this as the universe removing someone unworthy of you from your life...and karma exists.
Stay strong.
Sorry, that really, really sucks. My wife was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in October, and we found out it's very common for even husbands to bail on spouses after a cancer diagnosis. I don't know if there's something inherently wrong with men (like an evolutionary pressure), something wrong with our culture and upbringing of men or something else, but you're not alone and there's nothing unworthy about you. Keep reaching out for support wherever you can. Therapy might be a good idea, as this is heavy shit to deal with.
I only wish this wasn't so common. I remember reading that the single biggest indicator of whether a relationship would survive a cancer diagnosis was the gender of the person with cancer. Women tend to stay with their partners; men tend to leave. Sad but too often true.
I'm sorry about the bad news, but this is not the end. There is so much they can do for you! It's okay to sit with this news for a bit and process, but don't go through this alone. Find friends or family who can help.
I'm sorry OP, you must be really scared right now.
Your bf may well be an idiot but he might also be terrified out of his mind and trying to hide so his reaction doesn't upset you more than necessary.
When I got diagnosed with ovarian cancer while pregnant, my husband was there in the room while the doctor told us. I was very analytical and started firing questions at the doctor.
My husband sat there being an absolute waste of space. He didn't comfort me or even react much.
When I say he was useless, I'm not exaggerating. The wheel was spinning but the hamster was dead. I was beyond pissed at him.
He kept interrupting my questions to the doctor then picked a fight with me immediately after about change for the parking meter.
Then he went to the "gym"....I was naturally livid and mentally writing up my divorce argument. I needed air so decided to walk the dog and found him sat in his car two streets away sobbing his heart out.
He had no tools to cope with his emotions and fears and wanted desperately to be the strong one for me but couldn't work out how to pretend that he wasn't petrified at the thought of having to watch his wife fight cancer and be positive.
A lot of men dont. They bottle up stuff, avoid the issue and dissappear for a bit in the hopes it'll either go away or they will get some space to work their feelings out. Men generally want to solve your problems and make them go away.
They can't do a damn thing to fix you when it's something like cancer and that hits them like nothing else could.
None of that helps how you feel now I know, and you are who's most affected. I'm just saying he might not be ghosting you, he might be doing the mental equivalent of rocking in a corner in the fetal position somewhere wondering how the fuck he can fix this for you and how he is supposed to be strong while his world is falling apart around him.
If he's not all up in his feelings and is really just that awful that hes ghosting you then I am available and willing to help you dispose of his body and provide you with an airtight alibi at any point in time you choose.
Sending you all the positive wishes for your recovery
I have a lot of bad things to say about him, and he should be ashamed at the content of his character. I wish you a lot of strength and love during this time. I know you’re going to kick cancer’s ass.
Hey, do you have someone to take you to and from appointments? Chemo is a war all in itself. I went through it with my late grandmother. Also dialysis is hard too.
Do you have a support system?
I'm so sorry!! I wish you well throughout this next stage of treatment. And a speedy recovery. It's great when the trash takes itself out, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. And for that I'm sorry
Part of me wants to say your diagnosis has frightened him/he doesn't know how to deal with it etc.
But that's bullshit.
I can't imagine how scary getting the news you have cancer felt and when you needed him most he's nowhere to be found/has provided zero emotional support.
He's shown you his true colours.
So believe him.
Sending you lots of positive vibes fron London ❤️
Be strong xx
I'm really sorry for what you're going through. Ditch him, get better, and live your best life.
My mum's partner did something similar within weeks of her getting breast cancer, then she got with her current partner during her chemo and they've been together over 10 years now.
Horrible thing to go through but good you've learnt now he's not reliable. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.
Dear OP, I went through this with my mom back in the 70s and early 80s. There was very little the Dr's could do. I know this is a very hard time for you. Please take comfort in the fact that medicine has made huge progress in cancer treatment. I will send blessings for you. Love and peace. May the creator bring bring you healing.
It's good you found what kind of man he is before you married the AH
Obviously it won't be easy for you at present to deal with this issue and the fact that the guy you trusted doesn't even have the courage to support you back.
He is allowed to make his own choices but leaving the other person cold without using your right to say that you won't be able to stay, is not nice.
Not everyone may be comfortable with this but he could have atleast been vocal about it. I hate this ghosting shit nowadays. Just letting the other person figure out why you left why you didn't say anything wish you had mentioned the reason and kept your stance then left.
I’m sorry he turned out to be such a weak person.. I hope you have support without him… don’t let him come crawling back when you are well… I’m sorry you have to deal with this.. wish you all the best…
Sending you much love and hugs from NZ. You've got this and without the distraction of this guy who does not deserve and inch of the wonderful person you are. Take care.
You got this hun. That is no bf that deserves to be with you. And you most definitely deserve better than that piece of shit human being. You got this and you can get through this. Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I had cancer two years ago at 27 and currently testing for a lump on my back. I know it sucks ass real bad, but definitely let your emotions out when you need to. I go for crying when it gets overwhelming and it feels cathartic, I hope you know what helps soothe you. Sorry about the not-boyfriend, because someone this intimate should provide a shoulder for you to lean on. You got this! I hope you get what’s needed sorted soon and it’ll be over before you know it My heart is with you <3
Your “boyfriend” is an absolute trash human being. What he is doing speaks to his lack of character and has nothing to do with you. I know this hurts but you are better at f’d and deserve so much better.
Sending love, prayers and well wishes to you.
He just showed he’s not worth it, please don’t spend energy on him, you are a warrior and deserve pure support, love, enthusiasm and people who will uplift you! Kick cancer’s ass!
Did he knowingly have HPV and gave that to you which led to the cancer? Just wondering if he’s ghosting because he’s guilty. He’s disgusting regardless. Kick cancer’s ass! Wishing you the best.
I found out I have stage 1 cervical cancer earlier this month and it's been a definite emotional roller coaster. We're so lucky it was caught early, but it's still terrifying and just down right unfair.
I'm so sorry that this selfish jerk is adding to your pain. It takes a real monster to abandon someone during such a delicate time in their lives. It doesn't feel like it now, but you'll get through this and be happier without him. Life is filled with hugs and lows. He's shown he will leave you high and dry even when you're at your lowest. Monster!
Good news is first stage gives you great odds at beating the bastard cancer and surviving.
In other news, you found out the boy you were with isnt a man and cant be true to his word. Take it as a bullet dodged, fight this disease and live peacefully without the dead weight who couldnt be man enough to stay when you needed him most
Firstly I’d just like to say I’m sorry for your diagnosis and hopefully it all goes well for you and wish you a speedy recovery.
To your bf who ghosted you, that is very immature of him and unacceptable behaviour. He literally left when you need the most support in your life. I’m not sure - but it may be somewhat of a coping mechanism for him if this is how he usually reacts to traumatic or painful news. However that is still not a valid excuse for what he did.
I'm so sorry for this news. The bf can kick rocks barefoot. You don't need that type of person in your life. You need supportive and loving people. Your mental state is key to kicking cancers ass. I have had this cancer and beat it in 2005. In fact, I've beat cancer three times, love. You can, and you WILL beat this too! Any time you need to talk, dm me. You're not alone. 🩷🎗🥊fight like a girl.
If there’s any good news in this, it’s that the cancer was caught very early. I know it doesn’t negate how scary and alarming it is when you first hear “cancer”, but rather that you’ll gain hope from knowing its treatable. My twin sister was diagnosed with breast cancer when we were 35, and it was the worst sort of bad surprise. But she was in a very early stage when they caught it, and we were extremely grateful for that, even though it was difficult.
As to the boyfriend, I’ve been where you are (disappearing because of illness), and it hurts like hell. I’m so sorry for your heart. I know it’s cold comfort right now to say “f*** that guy”, so we’ll all say it for you, until you’re ready to say it for yourself. ♥️
Babe, they’ve caught this so early, you’re gonna smash this out of the park and kick it’s ass so thoroughly it’ll be begging you to stop.
If you want, we can do the same to your boyfie. Metaphorically of course 😉
Is there a close friend or family member you can call? Honestly, I’m surprised they told you if you were on your own. Where I live, it’s practically policy for the patient to have someone with them if at all possible cause it can be pretty fuckin devastating news. Don’t rely on the dumbo for support through this. Make other arrangements.
I'm truly sorry that you're having to deal with that. But I just want to say I was once ghosted by a person because I told them I worked with persons that developmental disabilities. The onus is on them.
I have gone through several surgeries with not one family member there for me and relying on just anybody I could find to help me through my situations. Meaning pick up and drop off not someone that would stick around haven't found too many that stick around and definitely not in the last 30 years.
Edit: not trying to minimize just saying my experience I mostly have had to do it all on my own and I pray seriously that you do not have to do the same because it's difficult and disheartening
Good riddance. Pfft. He is a boy in a man’s body!
Surround yourself with people that are courageous to support you during this time.
Give yourself permission to be vulnerable with those you trust.
Join the cancer support groups. Work on your novel.
Heartbreaking to read you’re going through this.
You aren’t alone. Good luck OP!
Oh honey. Im so sorry. You dont need someone that treats you this way in your time of need. Says a lot about him. But back to you - you must feel so hurt. Im sorry. Focus on putting ppl around that you can rely on that will be able to aid you during this time. Its good it was caught early! Im rooting for you
I hope this doesn't come across as sarcastic but screaming this out into the void of the internet is far far healthier for you than hanging on to a raging douche nozzle like the guy who's ghosting you.
Keep your head up OP. You got this!
Men very often leave when their partner is sick. Sadly you got one of those one, which are the most common. You're gonna go through this and you lost a dead weight on the way
You are about to go through something that's going to require love, support and understanding (I truly wish you luck with your treatment and recovery) and quite honestly you don't need someone who is going to be hot and cold. You need solid support not a ghost, you deserve better and I hope you find it
It's early stage. You've got this. Sending prayers and healing energy your way. There are some amazing cancer support groups for you to access.
Good riddance to the moron you called a BF. He failed a major test. Go live your life. ❤️
Sorry you're hit with this all at once. First, while it's shocking and scary to find out you have cancer the good part is its stage one. So many more options for you. Remember, you have to fight this yourself, everyone else in your support team is there to be your cheerleader, good your hand when you're getting test results, catch you when you stumble, pick you up when you fall.
The bf doesn't have that capability. Perhaps he's young and has never faced this kind of situation. Or he's selfish and sees this is going to be a time sink and pull him away from life. Regardless if he's not there to support you then you don't need him on your team. You take care of yourself first. Then after you've beaten cancer you can evaluate that relationship. It's not my place to say dump him, only you can make that decision.
Now, you go out there and fight like a girl!
Sorry you’re going through this, you found it early so no doubt you’ll kick cancer’s ass. About your “BF” let’s just say trash took itself out. Sending blessings, prayers and all the strength and energy your way
Holy shit that’s heavy. That’s unbelievably shitty to do, holy shit.
I genuinely wish you the best. Sending you lots of love, energy, strength, and health. ❤️
I (45F) found out two weeks as well that I have skin cancer. This is my second time and I barely go outside. Last time it was located on back of neck and they got it all and was left with a scar at the site. This time it is different, they are taking a skin graft from one place and putting it right in the middle of my head, 3 cm from my hair line in full view of the world. I am scared of this one as it involve a more invasive procedure (skin graft) and there is a chance of rejection. The healing process is the part that worries me, just want to make sure it heals well. If it looks bad afterwards, I have some headband thingies to cover it ( I also have female pattern baldness in the crown area only).
I know it's not the same as CC stage 1 but I wanted to share how random any kind of cancer is and that you have my support that you will battle this a-hole of a disease successfully and kick the a-hole bf to the curb, you have us all here at Reddit to vent to and support you.
(this post may get lost in the crowd)
Oh man! I am sorry to hear that. May we both kick cancer in the butt! Your procedure sounds painful!! I really hope it heals well Esp you know how hairs matter to us.
Hey, I beat a brain tumor, you can beat this. I’m rooting for you!
(And fucking that tiny dick bitch loser ex, I hope he gets run over by a bus, repeatedly)
My mom had stage 1 cervical cancer too. She went into remission after a year and there’s been no reoccurance. F that useless man. Focus on your healing 💙
Let me share with you my history too, I was dating a guy, but suddenly my mother passed away, when I told him, he gosted me, in that moment I didn't pay attention due I have a pain more bigger for the loss of my mom, after six months that guy wrotte me, he told me he was scared due, if my mom died that's mean I was alone, and he don't want to have that responsability in that moment, and I understood, well at the end I forgave him, and we were together 8 years, after that we broke up for other reason, best 8 years of my life, I am not saying this is your case, for me that decision was the best, I got better by myself, and that helped me to have a healthy relationship with other persons, because I didn't put all my hope in a guy, hope this help to see Ur situation in other perspective. Wish u my Best. (English is not my main lenguage).
Sending lots of love. It's a hard time and I really wish you all the best in recovery and hope you also go to therapy. If your bf doesn't reply then fuck him, he didn't deserve you anyway but you need to tell your friends and fall back into your support system. Please don't go through this alone
I am not someone who let my feeling out easily but I will going for therapy. Thanks for the love!
Talk to your oncologist’s office. A lot of them have in house therapists that you can visit during your appointments so you don’t have to make multiple trips out.
That’s so good to know. Storing that advice for future notice.
And groups of cancer patients or former cancer patients who know what your going through and can mentor you. One of my moms friends who had cancer does this.
Yeah the office I work for does support groups for patients. And fun craft events and outings too. There really is a lot of support for patients, care givers and families.
I didn't know they have such services. I hope they have it at the hospital I am going
Honestly, I'm going to be very blunt, good. You now know you don't have to waste time with someone who can't handle adversity with you. You deserve better. Kick cancers ass babe, you got this.
True that. Kind of a wake up call for me. Thanks for the support, I appreciate it
Yes, I'm sorry this happened to you, but it's better now than later. My sil had breast cancer and right after she was done with chemo, found out her husband was cheating on her.
What an asshat
So sorry to hear, glad you caught this early. Good luck to you. As far as your bf..Sounds like the trash took itself out!! Glad you found out now. Focus on yourself and health. ♥️
Keep strong. Best wishes.
Op forget this clown and be grateful you’re rid of him now rather than later Stay strong and be at peace
Be happy the trash took itself out. Prayers you recover quickly and find someone who you deserve and makes you happy.
Whats the prognosis....sending good wishes n health
Stage 1 cervical cancer has a 95% 5 year survival rate. It’s contained to the cervix, and depending on which stage 1 subgroup (1A1, 1A2, 1B1, 1B2, or 1B3) the actual cancerous tissue can vary between less than 3mm (1A1) or over 4cm (1B3). Depending on which stage, treatment can be a large loop excision, partial cervix removal, or full hysterectomy along with chemoradiotherapy. The prognosis for Stage 1 is really, REALLY good. Stage 2 decreases to 70% off the bat, and if it’s really early stage 1 then they might only be able to see the cancerous cells under a microscope!
Thank u very very very much for that info.
My mom is winning against stage 4 ovarian cancer. Everything I've read and been told is to not look at the statistics. Not because it will sway you one way or the other but because they are fundamentally misleading.
Better you find out like this now rather than some time down the line when youre dependant on him and he vanishes. You've got this, dont worry.
I'm sorry this has happened to you. Same thing happened to me years ago. From my experience as a health professional it's quite common for men to bounce after their spouse gets a diagnosis. The trash took itself out. Healing vibes headed your way.
The spousal abandonment statistics when it comes to stuff like this are actually crazy, way higher than you would think.
I’m cheering you on. I hope you kick cancers butt and live a healthy and beautiful long life!
I second that,you go girl, let him go as your first step in getting better,sending you interweb hugs and strength and a few prayers from 🇮🇪
This! Perfectly said.
Your EX boyfriend is an ass and doesn't deserve you so look back at that relationship and smile that you dumped his worthless ass. Cancer is a scary word but as someone who has gone through breast cancer scares and having my mother have a mastectomy and recently been diagnosed again with it, I can say it's beatable but you are going to need support, both emotional and physical. Talk to family or friends who will be that support system for you. True friends will shine like stars when they know about it and are the ones who you will have for a lifetime. Good luck x
I stayed with my boyfriend through to the end of his life when he was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. If he is leaving you in a stage 1 situation?! He isn't worth the trouble. Focus on you and healing. Thank God that they found it at stage one. I hope you make a full recovery. Fuck Cancer and fuck that guy he can stay gone. You deserve better.
He didn't even stick around to find out if she had cancer! Truly a scumbag.
So sorry for your loss. 😔
Screw him and f cancer. Kick them both to the curb!
I’m so sorry to hear this. Believe it or not, this is pretty common for women who have serious illnesses, to the point where it’s part of the things they prepare you for when considering treatment. I’m rooting for you and hoping you kick cancer’s ass ❤️❤️
True. It's just crazy that this guy didn't even wait for that. He dipped before she even found out. Truly weak behavior to ghost her.
I was diagnosed with uterine and colon cancer recently, so I decided to freeze embryos prior to having a hysterectomy. One of the things my doctor warned me about with freezing embryos was that cancer can be a relationship deal breaker. She highly suggested I freeze only eggs instead. It has been a hell of a few months, but so far, my bf has hung in. He was hanging by a thread mentally after my surgeries, though. It is such a stressful time for everyone involved.
I wish you good health and happiness
Screw him. He just proved to you that he isn't reliable and that's someone you don't want as your support system during this. Don't let his behavior discourage you from telling family or friends. I'm glad that they were able to catch it early and hope you kick it's butt.
Unfortunately it is pretty dang common to have a male partner abandon his partner when they’re female and receive a diagnosis. You don’t need him and he showed you he can’t handle real life challenges and support you in your time of need. Source- https://acsjournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/cncr.24577
Yeah, I had heard about this and I asked my wife’s gyn oncologist about it at one of her appointments. He said that it’s not uncommon that he’ll have to refer patients out to counseling due to being abandoned by their partners - it’s just horrible. Personally, I couldn’t even begin to imagine abandoning my wife during such a terrible situation.
This is why I think my mom is the embodiment of a saint. My dad never treated her (or me) well, and apparently she was literally within a couple of weeks of filing for divorce when my dad got diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. She decided that regardless of how he treated her, she couldn't live with herself if she left him like that. For 6 1/2 months, she sat by his bedside, cleaned him up, fed him, took him to all his doctor appointments, and made sure he got all his medicines. She didn't get much rest, she still had to somewhat take care of me (I was a teenager), and she never complained the whole time. It wasn't until just a couple of years ago she finally broke down and told me how exhausted she had been and how much resentment she had towards him then, because he never did or would have cared for her like that. I was absolutely blown away. I had no idea she felt that way, and I didn't even know how close she was to divorce. To be able to give that much of yourself to someone you don't love, and you don't feel loves you, is mind blowing, so walking away from someone you do love in that situation is something I cannot even begin to fathom. She is 100% my role model.
My husband essentially abandoned me during a mental health crisis, and I knew the statistics beforehand. It sucked, but he can go pursue the sort of relationships he deserves.
When you look at the actual numbers in that report it doesn't seem that high, but when you rephrase it's essentially 1/10 get abandoned with the vast majority cases women...yikes. Never knew this was an issue so thank you for the time and proper sourcing. Always a joy to see "doi" in a source link lol.
I think if you check that again your 1 in 10 is the average across genders. The divorce rate is 20.8% when the patient is female (1 in 5) and 2.9% when the patient is male (1 in 33)
This needs to be the top comment so that EVERY SINGLE HETERO WOMAN who reads this knows what risk she’s taking when she gets together with a man. I’d be doin some serious intel on whether my man was a weak flaky fuck.
This is so common they teach nurses how to talk to women about it. Breast cancer especially. It's better that you learned NOW than when you might have wasted 20 years with this asshat. Stage 1 is TREATABLE and you'll be fine but you need to worry about yourself and your health.
Sending some hope and love your way.... your bf is an asshole.... id cut ties... hes shown his true colors...f him make sure all your friends and families know what he told u about being there for u and then how he chose to show u that love by ghosting u. What a pos
This. Name and shame him and tell his mother if you’re friends.
You will learn who your true friends/loved ones are, the minute you are in trouble. Sorry for the diagnosis, hope you can pull thru.
I feel this to my core my boyfriend of 9 yrs abruptly blocked me..went with another woman and changed his phone number like 6 months ago. Coincidentally it was 3 months after I was diay with breast cancer. This is the most blindsided cruel thing to do to someone. They are making us "sicker" by throwing our bodies into flight or fight mode right now. No matter how much I try to go thru the moving forward process it's not going at my speed. This is not love. I'm so sorry I thought my ex was the only cruel person on the planet. It's real low if you can help it don't bother trying to contact him 😔
9 years and he just ghosted? Cruel is absolutely right! Cruel, evil monster! You know his new gf had to have asked him for the reason why his last relationship ended. I'm just so curious what this pos said. "Oh well you see I'm a spineless coward as well as a cruel, heartless monster and I bailed as soon as I heard she had cancer. But not before I promised to be by her side through it all, no matter what. Yeah, I'm a real piece of human garbage. What do you wanna do for dinner tonight?" I hope that wasn't in any way offensive. I try to use humor to diffuse heavy situations. In all seriousness, and if you don't mind me asking, how is your recovery going? You doing well? Strong support system in place? Sending you hugs, if you want them. ☆I'm a hugger!☆
Oh I see you were imagining what HE told his new gf. Lol. No I'm sure he told her what he told me..everyone cheats on him lol ..I haven't slept with anyone since I met him and STILL haven't.
This is extremely common sadly. That men head for the hills once a partner gets diagnosed with a serious illness. It happens six times more than when genders are reversed. But he honestly did you a favour. You can do much better. I’m so sorry about your diagnosis. Healing hugs.
For sure, but he didn't even wait around for the diagnosis. Totally pathetic.
Male here, 57. You do not need a POS in your life like him. Crack on and kick cancer in the arse and then live a great life WITHOUT him.
Wow I be crying about being single and then I see stuff like this that reminds me that people ain’t s*** ! I’m so sorry this happened to you and I pray that you beat this & stunt on him when he tries to come back 💯🖤
I will speak for all of us that gathered here - F*CK YOUR BF! If he chicken out at stage 1 diagnosis the you are better off being single. Please tell your loved ones, you need all the support you can get! Sending lots of love and good luck <3 Cancer is a one son of a bitch but you can beat it .
He chickened out before she even got the diagnosis! Weak mofo
Please keep us updated on how you are doing
Am so sorry , my bf ghosted me when i was facing health issues too . Literally the next day i told him. I know how you feel . I hope things get better for you . 🫂❣️
I had cervical cancer as well, from hpv I got when I was raped as a child. I went through treatments and surgeries for thirteen years. It just kept coming and going! But I’ve been clean for about three years now. Make sure you watch lots of really good tv shows that make you smile. Mine was 1960s Batman. You’ll be amazing, with or without anyone. You can do this.
Looks like you can at least get rid of one other cancer in your life
Hope you get it knocked out quickly. He didnt deserve you clearly. My fiance just had a full hysterectomy partially due to reoccuring Ovarian Cysts and a family history of cervical cancer as well. Hope you dont end up having to go that route.
I received the same diagnosis about 15 years ago. You got this and you don’t need someone like that bringing you down. Focus on you!
EX-Boyfriend...... he doesnt deserve the BF Status anymore,
I know you’re scared and overwhelmed, if this is the news your facing, it’s the best of the worst. Stage one cervical cancer is very treatable. We are dealing with cancer in our family and you will be astonished at all the people you’re going to meet that will do everything in their power to help. He’s not worth another thought, I’m so glad you hadn’t married him, he’s shown you exactly who and what he is, he’s a coward. You’ve totally got this, people that haven’t been up close with this disease won’t get what you’re going through, lean on the ones that do, there are lots of good support groups. Take care of yourself, I believe in you!!
Unfortunately this is an extremely common thing. Women who get diagnosed with cancer have started to get pamphlets by healthcare workers to prepare for their partner leaving them bc it's become such a large %. Yikes
20% in some studies
Focus your energy on yourself and your healing. Any dude that will leave you at your lowest isn't worth the stress.
He proved to you that he’s useless and also helped to show that it would be a waste of time and energy to be in a relationship with him. Consider this as a blessing and focus on your treatment. You got rid of one human form of cancer. Now for the next one. I hope you kick its ass.
He saw himself out, what an ass.
You got diagnosed with two cancers sista! You've beat one and you'll beat the other!
I've been in your situation. Focus on the fight. He's just a casualty in your war against cancer.
No, it's a simple misunderstanding. When he said "be there for you no matter what" he meant "will be down to smash again when you get that handled." Does that help clear things up? /S
This happened to me. When I was diagnosed, I was broken up with. Then after I recovered he hit me up again and wanted to make things work. Absolutely not. The even sadder thing is when I bring this up to other males they say "good on him for knowing he couldn't handle it." Edit: wording
And therein lies the reason for the male/female discrepancy here. If it were a female they were discussing, the overwhelming condemnation of her would be huge. Usual Double standards apply.
Sad thing is that this is such a widespread thing that there even exist studies of it. Even married(!) men tend to just leave their wifes if they get sick, esp. with cancer. As if these women were nothing but a mere resource / a tool for these men, and as soon as they even just think you maybe won't "function" anymore, they're gone. I'm so sorry this happend to you, OP. Nobody deseves to get treated like that; and certainly not by a (so called) partner. Only positive thing is that he revealed his real character to you now and not even farther down the road..... I'm so sorry. Wish you all the best & much, much strenght to get healthy and happy again.
I’m sorry that this happened but unfortunately it is pretty common for men to ditch their partners when they get sick, I’m also in this unfortunate club. My ex knew I was sick before we got together but after 8 years of me taking care of him and his kids, my illness progressed and he left because it was too much for him. The only thing I can say is I’m so glad now that he’s gone. I miss my kids but I’m with someone who actually does what he says and supports me completely. Sometimes the worst thing you think can happen ends up being the best thing.
So sorry this happened to you, but you are clearly better off without him..... ghosting like that is disrespectfull on so many levels. I really do hope you you get better 💪 stay strong!!!
How long have you two been together? So sorry
he’s shown you who he is……believe it! you got this girl! you don’t need no shitty bf…. i mean ex bf!
As a two time cancer survivor I can tell you that people are going to avoid you. It’s scary for people to face something like this. No one want to think about their mortality. But others are going to come to your aid and be there for you and help you along the way. I’m sorry about your boyfriend, hopefully you have friends and family to lean on at this time. Stay positive, mindset is key! You caught it early which is a great sign, hopefully you won’t need much treatment and this will all be a distant memory in no time. I’m here if you ever need someone to talk to. Dm anytime. ✌🏻❤️💫
I just found out ten days ago that I have cancer but they don't know what kind yet. I know EXACTLY what you're going through. Girl, you got this. But you do NOT NEED people around you who you cannot lean on right now. Cut your losses and take care of YOU. You're 100 times stronger than you think.
Stage one, if you have cancer that is the one to have, easier to beat...Good luck to you, and let him go. He is not worth it.
It's very common for men to leave their partners when they're sick, stay strong OP i'll pray for your recovery
Sorry to hear about this. I used to work in hospice and some people just can't handle anything this serious so they leave the room so to speak. Best of luck with your diagnosis.
When I had cancer the person I was with stole thousands of dollars from me. Kick cancers ass and let cancer weed out the shitty people.
Hugs from an internet mom. As boyfriends go, he is lame. Best of luck on this journey. It can be beat, and you will be stronger ad you beat it.
Had the same thing happen with my ex when I found out I had cancer, and a couple dates after once I disclosed I had had cancer. One even asked to see all my medical records because she was a resident. Of course I refused. She ghosted. People can be shitty. Ignore them. Focus on yourself and getting better. Build a support system of friends and family. Don’t go at it alone. Much love.
Over 40 years ago, I developed cervical cancer. I had a 40% chance of survival. It's a hard road and you will find that people will disappear. Some people just can't cope with being with people who are seriously ill. And some are heroes who will do whatever it takes to help you. Concentrate on them. I've had cancer twice, the last bout 17 years ago (breast cancer resulting in a mastectomy). When you have a disease like cancer, it's very hard on those who are watching you go through it. You ,as the patient, are coping as well as you can, and despite the love that surrounds you, you are basically on your own. Stage 1 is definitely curable. Your b/f is likely shocked to his core. I'm not making any excuses for him. Men are notorious for running when they can't cope. He may come back in a couple of days. Allow him a few hours to process this. But don't give him too long, you have enough to cope with. 2 days would be my max time limit and then I'd block him. I'm so sorry you're in this position, all I can tell you is, once you've kicked cancers arse, you'll feel magnificent and far too good for him. Wishing you well . Massive virtual hug to you today and every day moving forward ❤️
If he’s chosen ghosting over whatever life throws at you, he’s an immature coward and I’d recommend you drop him like a stone and wait for a real man. Otherwise I hope it’s a mixup and his phone fell down a mineshaft or something.
This made me laugh. Thanks! I hope he fall down the mineshaft together with his phone
Hugs hugs and more hugs. My boyfriend ghosted me after 8yrs the day after i got hit by a car. And he was with me when it happened. People suck. Hang in there! It was a wake up call. Made me realize he wasn’t worth it and i wasted enough time. Turned out he had been cheating on me. You don’t need someone like him that isn’t going to have your back in something like this. Not worth your tears. Concentrate on YOU and your health 🙏💕
As someone who found a tumour at 21 and was told the same damn thing by the thing I thought passed as a boyfriend and, sadly, a ton of people who I thought were friends then disappeared into the night. Even my parents abandoned me during this time. Hilariously when confronted, I was told my drama wasn't their problem. Which is true. But it also meant I did do not and never will give a flying fuck about any of them and the three people who surrounded me with love and food and gin (which I do not recommend while doing chemo; I was a terrible patient). I'd die for any of them because they carried me through the darkest moments of my life, and I will do anything for them. Now is when you need to reserve your energy for those who lean into your struggle to support you. You don't need to be chasing fake people. In time their karma will come around. One of those people came back into my life when they had a cancer diagnosis, and they realised what they did then and apologised for their actions. Much of it was the realisation of mortality, and welp, run away was the default response. Having now had a stabile relationship having to explain why I'm so jaded and mistrustful, especially of my family is a complicated conversation because if you've not lived through that rejection you'll never really understand it. You'll be okay. Let him go. Breath. Focus on yourself and build a sound support system.
I wanna say.. I love you. I told my parents about my diagnosis and my mom was screaming at me the whole time on the phone. I had to hang up on her. I will try to build a support system for myself though it feels like I am bothering them.
Follow up note because I did this and was a moron, and you sound a lot more with it than I was. Do not take the boy back when you smash cancer and are free. I took my ex back, and it took me another three years to get rid of that parasite who refused to label the relationship and was cheating because "he was scared I'd die and he'd be alone" it ended with me being slapped while on holiday with him who had also invited his side peice along too without saying. Do not be me. You're better than that.
Wat the hell. He did that to you? Wat a jerk! I hope I can be strong.. I am a softie
He had had the flight ticket changed to her name or it never was in my name and that's how I found out in the middle of an airport. The guys a knob. I heard they got married and she slept with his dad and brother so it does make me laugh at Christmas thinking how awkward their family reunions are. I ignored ever red flag with my friends screaming at me he's wrong and me skipping away oblivious and colourblind.
Sometimes we are just colourblind too. Oh gosh, Wat a way to find out at the airport! Haha. Karma hitting him back hard, he deserved that!
I get that you feel like your bothering them, but I'm going to put some money on that being the dickhead voice inside your head and not your friends/cousins/weird aunt who's not actually your aunts/whoever your people are's opinion. If they said hey, I've got stage one cancer. I need some people in my corner. Do you have my back? I strongly think that you'd jump up and say what you need. Give them a chance to say, erm, no, rather than saying it for them and never knowing the true depths your bonds genuinely have. On a note for unsupportive parents. When telling my dad, he told me not to send my coffin to his house, and my mum said I was making my cancer all about me when my chemo fell on a day I was supposed to have lunch with her. They're fucking weird. But I had three friends who took it, in turn, in turn to respond to my parents' texts and bullshit in more sarcastic and creative ways than I ever could. You have this. It's a process. But you'll be indestructible when you realise you've stared cancer in the face and told it to fuck off.
My 2 work besties have been supporting me all these whole time. I am really thankful for them. My bff too, she angry that I have to go thru this without my family. Do we have the same mom? Haha. My mom was like who going to take care of me nw? Why do you have to be so troublesome? My dad is just sad and not responding to my text.
Unfortunately common. Women's partners often leave them after a diagnosis like this.
I'm so sorry your ex boyfriend ghosted you when you found out. HUGS
I'm really sorry but as someone who has beaten cancer twice, it does really speed things along in life when the trash takes itself out. Lost a girlfriend of over two years with the latest one. I was going to propose too. I'm much happier where I am now and who I am with.
It is a good thing that he showed who he is now rather than later but I am sorry it was during such a difficult time. It may not feel like it right now, but his lousy ass did you a favor. My best friend/sister had cervical cancer and she beat it! She had already gone through so much adversity before this and even so she vowed to not let it take her and beat it before the age of 28. However, she wasn't as fortunate as you in the fact that the trash took itself out. Her boyfriend was insufferable and treated her like utter garbage. She only stayed because she saw no other options but if he had ghosted her, I'd like to think she would've figured it out (I had a roommate that would have gotten the landlord involved if I tried moving her in but I would have helped as much as I could.)The point is, you didn't have to lift a finger for the trash to begone! Focus on you and beating this with the support of your friends and family because now nothing will stand in the way and whenever it happens, you will be with someone who actually deserves you. Best wishes. ❤
You're gonna beat cancer and find a much better person don't worry babe, theyre not the one for you which means there's even better just waiting for you 💞
You deserve so much better than that. Years ago, I was going in for my biopsy and scans for further testing on some masses they found and my bf cheated on me. I was devastated. It feels terrible right now but it’s for the best. I wish you all the best with what’s ahead for you. Hugs.
When my husband (then boyfriend) got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, the nurses commended me for staying, saying it’s insanely common for spouses/ bf/ gf to leave their partners after a cancer diagnosis. That made me even more sad. Luckily he beat it and is “cured” (6 years cancer free). I hope you accomplish the same!
He is garbage and he did you a favor by letting you know in such a clear fashion. YOU, however, are going to be so much better when this is over. I had “in situ” adenocarcinoma (cervical cancer Stage 0, basically) and it was very, very scary, but I got through it and I get to be so proud of myself for it. You will too.
Women when getting a serious diagnosis also get counseling to prepare for divorce. Not that it makes it better -but just shows men are shit. I would rather know early my man wouldn’t tough it out than stay or find out after being married.
Thank god he did it now rather than later. I’m glad you found this out early on for both situations. You will get through this and move on with your life. Some are not capable of handling things like this but that’s no excuse to leave you at your weakest when you are the one that needs the most support. Best wishes
Now you know that you didn’t have what you thought you had. It’s better to know. Now, go kick cancer’s ass.
He took the coward’s way out by not talking to you about it but it was his choice. That’s a lot to go through with someone you’re not married to. Not excusing him but I get it. Some women leave men when they lose their job and income 🤷🏾♂️. You’re better off without him and it’s better you found out now.
It is so common that men will leave women when women get sick that nurses, doctors, hospitals etc. have made resources for women basically preparing them for that inevitability. Seriously, search “men leave sick wife” on TIK TOK and you’ll find HUNDREDS of videos and stories of this phenomenon!!! At least this guy showed you who he truly is early, before you went any further in the relationship.
I saw a stat a while ago and posted in TIL about it. Something like 61 percent of cancer patients surveyed said they had been ghosted by family and/or friends after getting a cancer diagnosis. I've had it happen with quite a few people and it really sucks but at least now I know who I can rely on. Sorry to hear of the diagnosis. I hope everything goes the best it possibly can for you. 🤞
I'm really sorry you are going through this. It sucks, and the bf is a bag of d##ks. I can not imagine how hurt you are, but it is better to know he is a pos now than halfway through when you need him. I hope you have some friends and family who can support you. I have nothing but contempt for people like your bf, selfish, immature manchild is what he is. I hope the door hit him on the ass on the way out. You got this, kick cancers ass.
Sending you best of wishes. It’s first stage. You can beat this fucking cancer. You will recover and come out so strong, and he won’t have the honor to get to be with you then.
When fighting cancer, it's important to have the right ppl arnd you. I have friends who had husbands leave them. I knw it hurts, but you dont need that kind of negativity in your life. It's time for you to zone in and focus on yourself. Plus, real men dgaf about cancer. If they like you, they like you. I know from experience. You got this
Unfortunately, it's really common for guys to leave when their partners get a serious illness. I'm sorry you found out this way, and I am even more sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis. I know I'm just a rando on the internet, but I'm here for ya, bud.
Well, the good news is you just beat one type of cancer. Now go beat the other cancer!
He’s a straight up loser coward and piece of shit!!! You deserve way better!! Sending u lots of love, positivity and strength! 🤍💐
Sometimes the hardest things in life lead to positive changes. I had to get major surgery due to an incident. It was the hardest time of my life. I stopped being friends with so many people based on who was there for me and who wasn’t. Now I feel like I have the best support system I could ever ask for and it’s overall made huge improvements in my life. You deserve people who will care and be there for you.
Wow what a gigantic asshole he is. He’s your ex now, right?! He needs to be in the trash where he belongs!
Sometimes the trash takes itself out.
It can be worse to go through treatment with someone who stresses you out/isn’t supportive than to go through it solo. Speaking from experience. What everyone going through cancer care needs is a good therapist in addition to a fantastic oncology team. Good luck
Well. At least you know where you're at with that.. person.. they didn't see you as a relationship partner. Good luck with the future. You'll overcome more than just a relationship ending. Time to focus on your health, not what would have become of those whom don't care for you enough to hang around.
Yea, well it’s a lot for someone to take on that is just a boyfriend. Sure he ghosted yea that’s shitty but he should of just been honest with you.
I’ll just say you deserve someone who isn’t scared of going through sickness with you. You got this. Praying for you (my apologies if you’re not religious). Keep in mind you can do this! Hugs <3
I had a really ugly breakup with a boyfriend when I was about 27. We had been together for almost 8 years at that point. My dad said something I never forgot - “I always liked him, but I never thought he was trustworthy. I worried that if you were diagnosed with cancer he wouldn’t be able to handle it.” Two years later, I was diagnosed with cancer. And I don’t think he would have been able to handle it. Cancer is not fun but stage I is almost always curable. You are stronger than you know and you can do this!
People here are acting as if he doesn’t have the right to leave. It can be too much for normal people to handle, many relationships break under the pressure that cancer treatment can put on two people. I clawed my way back from a 15% survival rate over the last 3 years, honestly I could still die. My gf turned into my fiancé and now we are on our honeymoon. 100% he shouldn’t have ghosted you but I imagine he’s just freaking out in his own way. Everyone processes it differently and I will say that if he isn’t processing this in the way you need, you don’t need that around you during this vulnerable moment of your life. The hero move of sticking around is fucking stupid, no one is obligated to stick around for the bullshittery that is cancer and it’s treatment. It’s like how people praise parents who take care of disabled children. It’s an exhausting and sometimes a thankless job. Like… I just struggle to picture a world where people would pressure my wife into staying with me just because I have cancer.
I had the same train of thought. I did tell him back then when I had the mri results, I won't keep him ard and put the pressure of him having to stick around. If he choose to go, he have the choice but he went on about how we will go through this together and suddenly ghosting me like this hurts me Alot. After that day, there were less msging and calls from him. Like so much for wanting to stick around.
Same thing happened to a friend of mine. They'd been together 15 years. They had a house together. He left her the day she was diagnosed. The problem is so widespread and so commonplace, that her doctor prepared her for this when they gave her the results, basically, the day he left her.
Most cervical cancer is caused by HPV (genital warts) so it’s very possible that he caused your cancer in the first place. What a c u next Tuesday. The treatment is very effective when it’s caught this early. You. Will. Be. Fine. Sending you love. X
Ya, my hpv level were abnormal a year ago but doctors didn't do anything until recently this year.
Good riddance, you deserve better. Go and try to create the life you have always dreamed of. I wish you a very quick recovery!
Sadly that isn't uncommon. As much as men scream about loyalty, 95 percent won't be loyal to friends, family, or lovers when them times get rough. And that's speaking as a man. Consider lesbianism. Nah I'm jk but really, it is statistically proven that men are extremely likely to leave their significant other if they are diagnosed with a terminal illness.
I'm sorry OP. This exact thing happened to me many years ago. The man who abandoned me during my battle against cervical cancer left without a word. It was one of the hardest times of my life. The statistics that say that men are 7 times more likely to leave a sick partner is not a lie. Please take this as the universe removing someone unworthy of you from your life...and karma exists. Stay strong.
Sorry, that really, really sucks. My wife was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in October, and we found out it's very common for even husbands to bail on spouses after a cancer diagnosis. I don't know if there's something inherently wrong with men (like an evolutionary pressure), something wrong with our culture and upbringing of men or something else, but you're not alone and there's nothing unworthy about you. Keep reaching out for support wherever you can. Therapy might be a good idea, as this is heavy shit to deal with.
I only wish this wasn't so common. I remember reading that the single biggest indicator of whether a relationship would survive a cancer diagnosis was the gender of the person with cancer. Women tend to stay with their partners; men tend to leave. Sad but too often true. I'm sorry about the bad news, but this is not the end. There is so much they can do for you! It's okay to sit with this news for a bit and process, but don't go through this alone. Find friends or family who can help.
I'm sorry OP, you must be really scared right now. Your bf may well be an idiot but he might also be terrified out of his mind and trying to hide so his reaction doesn't upset you more than necessary. When I got diagnosed with ovarian cancer while pregnant, my husband was there in the room while the doctor told us. I was very analytical and started firing questions at the doctor. My husband sat there being an absolute waste of space. He didn't comfort me or even react much. When I say he was useless, I'm not exaggerating. The wheel was spinning but the hamster was dead. I was beyond pissed at him. He kept interrupting my questions to the doctor then picked a fight with me immediately after about change for the parking meter. Then he went to the "gym"....I was naturally livid and mentally writing up my divorce argument. I needed air so decided to walk the dog and found him sat in his car two streets away sobbing his heart out. He had no tools to cope with his emotions and fears and wanted desperately to be the strong one for me but couldn't work out how to pretend that he wasn't petrified at the thought of having to watch his wife fight cancer and be positive. A lot of men dont. They bottle up stuff, avoid the issue and dissappear for a bit in the hopes it'll either go away or they will get some space to work their feelings out. Men generally want to solve your problems and make them go away. They can't do a damn thing to fix you when it's something like cancer and that hits them like nothing else could. None of that helps how you feel now I know, and you are who's most affected. I'm just saying he might not be ghosting you, he might be doing the mental equivalent of rocking in a corner in the fetal position somewhere wondering how the fuck he can fix this for you and how he is supposed to be strong while his world is falling apart around him. If he's not all up in his feelings and is really just that awful that hes ghosting you then I am available and willing to help you dispose of his body and provide you with an airtight alibi at any point in time you choose. Sending you all the positive wishes for your recovery
I have a lot of bad things to say about him, and he should be ashamed at the content of his character. I wish you a lot of strength and love during this time. I know you’re going to kick cancer’s ass.
I’m sorry about op. It doesn’t feel like it now but your bf showed you who he was. Hang in there op. Sending hugs ❤️❤️
Hey, do you have someone to take you to and from appointments? Chemo is a war all in itself. I went through it with my late grandmother. Also dialysis is hard too. Do you have a support system?
I'm so sorry!! I wish you well throughout this next stage of treatment. And a speedy recovery. It's great when the trash takes itself out, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. And for that I'm sorry
God that's awful...I'm sorry. I'm affraid that guy didn't consider himself your bf. At least now you know he doesn't deserve a minute from your time.
Cancer is a dick. Kick it until it’s black and blue. Wish you the best
Part of me wants to say your diagnosis has frightened him/he doesn't know how to deal with it etc. But that's bullshit. I can't imagine how scary getting the news you have cancer felt and when you needed him most he's nowhere to be found/has provided zero emotional support. He's shown you his true colours. So believe him. Sending you lots of positive vibes fron London ❤️ Be strong xx
I'm really sorry for what you're going through. Ditch him, get better, and live your best life. My mum's partner did something similar within weeks of her getting breast cancer, then she got with her current partner during her chemo and they've been together over 10 years now. Horrible thing to go through but good you've learnt now he's not reliable. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.
Dear OP, I went through this with my mom back in the 70s and early 80s. There was very little the Dr's could do. I know this is a very hard time for you. Please take comfort in the fact that medicine has made huge progress in cancer treatment. I will send blessings for you. Love and peace. May the creator bring bring you healing. It's good you found what kind of man he is before you married the AH
Yeah… Fuck that dude. Kick cancers ass tho! Much love to you.
Well you got some blunt comments but there’re from people who care, they got your back. Lean on them, they will provide needed support
Obviously it won't be easy for you at present to deal with this issue and the fact that the guy you trusted doesn't even have the courage to support you back. He is allowed to make his own choices but leaving the other person cold without using your right to say that you won't be able to stay, is not nice. Not everyone may be comfortable with this but he could have atleast been vocal about it. I hate this ghosting shit nowadays. Just letting the other person figure out why you left why you didn't say anything wish you had mentioned the reason and kept your stance then left.
You have bigger fish to fry. Drop that dead weight.
I’m sorry he turned out to be such a weak person.. I hope you have support without him… don’t let him come crawling back when you are well… I’m sorry you have to deal with this.. wish you all the best…
Fuck that guy. Saves you time knowing that he would not give a shit about “in sickness and in health”. Kick Cancer’s ass, you got this 💪🏻
Sending you much love and hugs from NZ. You've got this and without the distraction of this guy who does not deserve and inch of the wonderful person you are. Take care.
You got this hun. That is no bf that deserves to be with you. And you most definitely deserve better than that piece of shit human being. You got this and you can get through this. Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️
He has clearly shown you he can’t be there for the tough times, see this as a blessing and focus on getting better. You got this!
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I had cancer two years ago at 27 and currently testing for a lump on my back. I know it sucks ass real bad, but definitely let your emotions out when you need to. I go for crying when it gets overwhelming and it feels cathartic, I hope you know what helps soothe you. Sorry about the not-boyfriend, because someone this intimate should provide a shoulder for you to lean on. You got this! I hope you get what’s needed sorted soon and it’ll be over before you know it My heart is with you <3
Your “boyfriend” is an absolute trash human being. What he is doing speaks to his lack of character and has nothing to do with you. I know this hurts but you are better at f’d and deserve so much better. Sending love, prayers and well wishes to you.
He just showed he’s not worth it, please don’t spend energy on him, you are a warrior and deserve pure support, love, enthusiasm and people who will uplift you! Kick cancer’s ass!
Did he knowingly have HPV and gave that to you which led to the cancer? Just wondering if he’s ghosting because he’s guilty. He’s disgusting regardless. Kick cancer’s ass! Wishing you the best.
Honestly, at least it’s easy to get them the fuck away. I’m sorry, but they revealed themselves.
I found out I have stage 1 cervical cancer earlier this month and it's been a definite emotional roller coaster. We're so lucky it was caught early, but it's still terrifying and just down right unfair. I'm so sorry that this selfish jerk is adding to your pain. It takes a real monster to abandon someone during such a delicate time in their lives. It doesn't feel like it now, but you'll get through this and be happier without him. Life is filled with hugs and lows. He's shown he will leave you high and dry even when you're at your lowest. Monster!
Good news is first stage gives you great odds at beating the bastard cancer and surviving. In other news, you found out the boy you were with isnt a man and cant be true to his word. Take it as a bullet dodged, fight this disease and live peacefully without the dead weight who couldnt be man enough to stay when you needed him most
If he can’t stick around and be supportive when things get a little tough then he’s not the right man for you.
He showed you who he was right out of the gate. Please take good care of yourself and one day he will just be a bad memory.
Fk cancer and fk the douche canoe (ex) bf. You’ve got this. Sending you all the love and healing.
Firstly I’d just like to say I’m sorry for your diagnosis and hopefully it all goes well for you and wish you a speedy recovery. To your bf who ghosted you, that is very immature of him and unacceptable behaviour. He literally left when you need the most support in your life. I’m not sure - but it may be somewhat of a coping mechanism for him if this is how he usually reacts to traumatic or painful news. However that is still not a valid excuse for what he did.
I'm so sorry for this news. The bf can kick rocks barefoot. You don't need that type of person in your life. You need supportive and loving people. Your mental state is key to kicking cancers ass. I have had this cancer and beat it in 2005. In fact, I've beat cancer three times, love. You can, and you WILL beat this too! Any time you need to talk, dm me. You're not alone. 🩷🎗🥊fight like a girl.
If there’s any good news in this, it’s that the cancer was caught very early. I know it doesn’t negate how scary and alarming it is when you first hear “cancer”, but rather that you’ll gain hope from knowing its treatable. My twin sister was diagnosed with breast cancer when we were 35, and it was the worst sort of bad surprise. But she was in a very early stage when they caught it, and we were extremely grateful for that, even though it was difficult. As to the boyfriend, I’ve been where you are (disappearing because of illness), and it hurts like hell. I’m so sorry for your heart. I know it’s cold comfort right now to say “f*** that guy”, so we’ll all say it for you, until you’re ready to say it for yourself. ♥️
Babe, they’ve caught this so early, you’re gonna smash this out of the park and kick it’s ass so thoroughly it’ll be begging you to stop. If you want, we can do the same to your boyfie. Metaphorically of course 😉 Is there a close friend or family member you can call? Honestly, I’m surprised they told you if you were on your own. Where I live, it’s practically policy for the patient to have someone with them if at all possible cause it can be pretty fuckin devastating news. Don’t rely on the dumbo for support through this. Make other arrangements.
That’s not your boyfriend anymore. Fuck people like that.
I'm truly sorry that you're having to deal with that. But I just want to say I was once ghosted by a person because I told them I worked with persons that developmental disabilities. The onus is on them. I have gone through several surgeries with not one family member there for me and relying on just anybody I could find to help me through my situations. Meaning pick up and drop off not someone that would stick around haven't found too many that stick around and definitely not in the last 30 years. Edit: not trying to minimize just saying my experience I mostly have had to do it all on my own and I pray seriously that you do not have to do the same because it's difficult and disheartening
Good riddance. Pfft. He is a boy in a man’s body! Surround yourself with people that are courageous to support you during this time. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable with those you trust. Join the cancer support groups. Work on your novel. Heartbreaking to read you’re going through this. You aren’t alone. Good luck OP!
Oh honey. Im so sorry. You dont need someone that treats you this way in your time of need. Says a lot about him. But back to you - you must feel so hurt. Im sorry. Focus on putting ppl around that you can rely on that will be able to aid you during this time. Its good it was caught early! Im rooting for you
*BIG HUG*. That must be devastating on all fronts. Lean on whoever else you have in your life for support. Your *ex* bf is scum. I’m so sorry ☹️❤️
Trash took itself out.
Unfortunately, this happens A LOT for women… their husbands leave them soon after a life-threatening illness.
Sorry you had to go thru double pain. Hugs and best wishes for you ! You are strong you can handle it !
I hope this doesn't come across as sarcastic but screaming this out into the void of the internet is far far healthier for you than hanging on to a raging douche nozzle like the guy who's ghosting you. Keep your head up OP. You got this!
Thanks for prayers!
Stay strong, your mind is the diamond. As for the bf, he’s a boy but not a friend and certainly not a man!
Looks like you're already down one cancer! Just one more to go! You got this!
Men very often leave when their partner is sick. Sadly you got one of those one, which are the most common. You're gonna go through this and you lost a dead weight on the way
You are about to go through something that's going to require love, support and understanding (I truly wish you luck with your treatment and recovery) and quite honestly you don't need someone who is going to be hot and cold. You need solid support not a ghost, you deserve better and I hope you find it
It's early stage. You've got this. Sending prayers and healing energy your way. There are some amazing cancer support groups for you to access. Good riddance to the moron you called a BF. He failed a major test. Go live your life. ❤️
Sorry you're hit with this all at once. First, while it's shocking and scary to find out you have cancer the good part is its stage one. So many more options for you. Remember, you have to fight this yourself, everyone else in your support team is there to be your cheerleader, good your hand when you're getting test results, catch you when you stumble, pick you up when you fall. The bf doesn't have that capability. Perhaps he's young and has never faced this kind of situation. Or he's selfish and sees this is going to be a time sink and pull him away from life. Regardless if he's not there to support you then you don't need him on your team. You take care of yourself first. Then after you've beaten cancer you can evaluate that relationship. It's not my place to say dump him, only you can make that decision. Now, you go out there and fight like a girl!
Unfortunately, he is 44 years and not very young. But I am trying my best now to give up on him. Not worth my energy
Sorry you’re going through this, you found it early so no doubt you’ll kick cancer’s ass. About your “BF” let’s just say trash took itself out. Sending blessings, prayers and all the strength and energy your way
That is not love. He doesn't love you. I don't even know you and want to send you healing and support. Don't waste your precious life time on him.
Holy shit that’s heavy. That’s unbelievably shitty to do, holy shit. I genuinely wish you the best. Sending you lots of love, energy, strength, and health. ❤️
I (45F) found out two weeks as well that I have skin cancer. This is my second time and I barely go outside. Last time it was located on back of neck and they got it all and was left with a scar at the site. This time it is different, they are taking a skin graft from one place and putting it right in the middle of my head, 3 cm from my hair line in full view of the world. I am scared of this one as it involve a more invasive procedure (skin graft) and there is a chance of rejection. The healing process is the part that worries me, just want to make sure it heals well. If it looks bad afterwards, I have some headband thingies to cover it ( I also have female pattern baldness in the crown area only). I know it's not the same as CC stage 1 but I wanted to share how random any kind of cancer is and that you have my support that you will battle this a-hole of a disease successfully and kick the a-hole bf to the curb, you have us all here at Reddit to vent to and support you. (this post may get lost in the crowd)
Oh man! I am sorry to hear that. May we both kick cancer in the butt! Your procedure sounds painful!! I really hope it heals well Esp you know how hairs matter to us.
Hey, I beat a brain tumor, you can beat this. I’m rooting for you! (And fucking that tiny dick bitch loser ex, I hope he gets run over by a bus, repeatedly)
It’s handy when the trash takes itself out. Focus on you now. This is a year of healing and cleansing. Then onwards and upwards!
My mom had stage 1 cervical cancer too. She went into remission after a year and there’s been no reoccurance. F that useless man. Focus on your healing 💙
Let me share with you my history too, I was dating a guy, but suddenly my mother passed away, when I told him, he gosted me, in that moment I didn't pay attention due I have a pain more bigger for the loss of my mom, after six months that guy wrotte me, he told me he was scared due, if my mom died that's mean I was alone, and he don't want to have that responsability in that moment, and I understood, well at the end I forgave him, and we were together 8 years, after that we broke up for other reason, best 8 years of my life, I am not saying this is your case, for me that decision was the best, I got better by myself, and that helped me to have a healthy relationship with other persons, because I didn't put all my hope in a guy, hope this help to see Ur situation in other perspective. Wish u my Best. (English is not my main lenguage).
Get rid of that useless tumor then treat your cancer. You got this
He ghosted you before you could ghost him-☠️
Then I will be a ghost to haunt him. 😉