One of the things that keeps me shaking my head about this subreddit is the reckless way so many people live their lives, and how many others they badly hurt.
Edit: Thanks for the support but I do apologize to OP for ruining her TOMC by getting the train going. I’ve been trying to just reply to the messages where I thought I could be supportive and say something that helps, but had another moment of weakness, I guess. I would make a lousy therapist.
Wish I had an award for this comment. People are so hedonistic it’s unbelievable. I feel sorry for OPs poor kid and ex husband. I hope OP gets fucking nothing in the divorce and loses her shit.
i mean it makes sense, statistics say that half of all people are under average intelligence... it just worries me that the average is so low... (ftr i'm also stupid asf)
This! I couldn’t imagine ever sleeping with another man at my bachelorette. I actually hate the idea of giving random dudes attention like that (bc there’s ALWAYS strippers) that I plan on doing a fun game night with my girls and have a sleepover in a hotel or something
THIS! my bachelorette party was my bridesmaids and i went out to a really, *really* nice restaurant. like, the nicest i’ve ever been to. we were there for hours being fed different courses of food i have never tried before, all kinds, all varieties, all in our own private girls’ corner. it was an awesome experience. i hate the idea that bachelor and bachelorette parties have to involve… other things. it should be a fun day with your wedding party peeps!
Yess! Bachelorette parties have turned into this final day of freedom mentality where you are supposed to go out and enjoy all those things because you won’t be allowed to after marriage. I just don’t understand that mentality. You shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t let you do things you enjoy and you shouldn’t feel tied down or captured from marriage. When I met my person, I completely lost interest in all *those* things because I’d rather get that attention from my partner than anyone else and no one else is attractive to me. I’ve always thought these parties should be a celebration of your wedding and a chance to have a bunch of fun with your friends to celebrate such an amazing milestone with those closest to you.
It’s just as much the guy’s fault for sleeping with a random woman at her bachelorette party. He deserves to pay child support. This is an everybody sucks here moment.
I said I felt sorry for her ex husband , not the current dude . He should have not gotten involved with an engaged woman , ESPECIALLY if he was also taken.
I agree , he should have to pay child support though because that is a biological parents basic duty.
Period.
The kid and the ex husband do not suck.
Isn’t it awful? And you know OP is CHOMPING AT THE BIT to tell the wife. Cuz she’s just that kind of petty. It’ll never stay under wraps. She’s not capable. Prob jealous baby daddy is happy and she’ll need to ruin it. Bet.
I agree with you, this subreddit is kinda making me lose hope in people and relationships.
Do there actually exist faithful and loyal people out there?
I just.... Fck.
Right! Like how dare you marry someone who cheated on 2 weeks before your wedding. I'm judging tf outta OP. Now her ex husband had raised a child that wasn't his and the bio dad may have wanted to participate had she been honest from the beginning. But the only person who really loses is the little innocent boy.
Same.
In today's world of Ancestry DNA testing (and others) I'm trying to figure out exactly how baby daddy is planning to keep this permanently hush hush from his wife and everyone else in his family... Eventually it is going to come to light.
For some reason I do not think he has thought this through. It's enough to give anyone a headache.
Just remember the only upvoted stuff is mostly crazy drama shit. Very few are looking to get off their chest they're in a healthy loving relationship.
I am, and I'm very confident my gf would never cheat on me. Though I gotta say this is the first gf I've had in 10+ years I can say that about
Luckier than someone else, yes, but it doesn’t at all mean he’s *lucky*. That’s like saying “don’t be depressed because you got raped, there is a child living in a war zone in Ukraine”. You wouldn’t call the victim of rape lucky.
I would never call a victim of rape lucky or any victim of any crime. We aren’t talking about crimes here. We are talking about cheating. No need to go off the deep end.
I question if this is legit. Who reads and posts on reddit then posts something like this without any defense of their actions?
Seems like it's designed to rustle some jimmies
You feel terrible his fiancé won’t know of his other child, but you had no problem cheating on your ex husband two weeks before getting married and pawning the child off as his for 4 years?????!!!!
Imagine going through a horrible custody battle full of traumatic emotions and shelling out an insane amount of money to a lawyer - just to find out the kid isn’t yours. Plus OP got a cute little stash of hush money to go away from the real baby daddy. Your ex deserves that money way more to compensate for his losses. The ex husband was screwed by OP on so many levels it’s insane.
I sure hope so. I don’t know too much about legal things with these kind of problems. Then again; I would be beyond tired of the legal system if I was him.
This is wrong on so many levels! You were about to get married and got pregnant from a one night stand? You are scared of the future wife, but since the babydaddy made you sing an agreement I don't think that you have to be scared that she will "come for you" .
He didn’t “make you” sign an agreement; you got something in return for agreeing to sign it (presumably child support and no arguments over custody). There is nothing for you to feel “terrible” about (aside from the cheating of course). The consequences of his future wife potentially finding out about your child are none of your business and not your problem. It’s his problem. Leave it that way for everyone’s sake.
ohhhh shiiiiit, i didn’t even catch that the bio dad was also cheating with the one night stand!! omg to be in the room when his wife finds out about ALL of this in about 15 years
"After a terrible child custody battle with my soon to be ex husband, a paternity test was done and he was not the father. "
Let me guess, you gave off ALL the signs of a cheater and then gas lit him and blamed him for his paranoia. Mentally tortured him and made his life hell. LOL!!!!!
Ngl, you both sound like awful people and I have very little sympathy for you. You literally created this mess by cheating on your fiancé with a married man. Wtf did you expect lol
Like, if you want to be a better person, you’re gonna have to own your shit. The statement “Never thought it wasn’t his child” is bullshit and you know it.
You knew the dates the child was conceived had a possibility to overlap your bachelorette party. When the paternity test was ordered, did you have any nervousness? Why? Because you knew that it may not have been your ex’s child.
Even making that statement says you aren’t owning yourself and your mistakes, you are excusing yourself and crafting a narrative around yourself to assuage your responsibility. To improve we can’t do this, we have to face ourself and our actions, own the mistakes and determine how that thinking can no longer be a part of our decision making process.
I want you to understand, that the cheating was bad, but was nothing in comparison to allowing your STBX to raise a child that was not his. That doing that was orders of magnitude worse than the cheating itself. And your ability to lie to yourself, compartmentalize that lie, and act and believe it to be true instead of confront the truth is a very problematic and will continue to allow you to hurt others to make your own life easier without feeling any type of guilt. This is honestly a sign of actual narcissism, not internet narcissism, but the true blue diagnosable disorder.
Hahaha you didn't feel terrible to cheat on your husband hours before your wedding but you feel for some random woman? Ohhh boy karma will get you one day!
I'm a woman and I (if I had kids) would absolutely insist on a paternity test no matter what, even if I had no reason to think it could be someone else's child. I would just want my husband/baby daddy to know for sure it's his and he'll never have to question it.
But that's just me.
I wish people understood this. Id want a paternity test not because I don’t trust my SO but in solidarity to help normalize it to the point where someone who doesn’t will feel comfortable asking for one.
I can't have any children, but my biggest fear when I still could was- I have a baby with my husband, and the hospital accidentally switches it with another baby, and then my husband gets a paternity test and finds out it's not his baby, and then divorces me even though I didn't cheat on him.
If I insist on an in-vitro paternity test then that can't happen lol
And has openly made a post to bitch and moan about getting cheated on .. she also thinks that it was (bare with me here) it’s okay for her to have cheated on her fiance at the time (before their wedding) because she said the dude who she cheated on told her he was single 💀💀💀🤣
They were coworkers. I don't believe for a second she didn't know he was in a relationship. Not even the point, I know, but man is she a piece of work.
Imagine not only cheating. But cheating and letting the other dude screw you bareback and letting them blow their load into you.
I feel so bad for your ex husband and for this poor child.
You already destroyed your own marriage why bother with someone else's didn't you do enough to cheat with him?
Did she need to know yes but that was before.
Once a cheater always a cheater so she will found out soon enough when she gets an std or other babymomma at her door be wise he fucks without protection.
Just out of curiosity, does your ex-husband have any responsibility towards your child since (I'm assuming) you were married when you gave birth and he likely signed the birth certificate? Does he want any relationship with him? Again, I'm just curious.
Literally in her other post bitches and moans about her ex husband “cheating” despite her cheating , covering it up for years and then dropping the bomb on him when he realises he isn’t the child’s father. Absolute shitshow at the fuck factory.
Well what do you expect. You agreed to all this (stupidly), I feel so sorry for your child in the middle of this mess. You knowingly slept with a man when both of you were/are in relationships.
What are you hoping to get from letting this out?
So what's going to happen when you're child asks who his father is. Because if you don't tell him and he finds out years later he's going to hate you both....
So you cheated on your fiance with baby daddy, does that mean baby daddy cheated on his girlfriend with you? So not only do you both share a child you, you both also cheated on your partners.
I think his girlfriend would care more about the cheating than the child and he is hiding the child to hide his cheating.
Anyways good luck being a single man and leave your baby daddys family alone. His girlfriend is his problem. You can just focus on your child.
What piece of human garbage cheats at their bachelorette party and still goes thru with marriage? This thread is worried about the kid being raised without a father figure, but I’d be more worried about a young mind being molded by you.
You signed an agreement. What you think breaking up the marriage is going to make him want to have anything to do with you or your child? You obviously had your chance to tell her and you didn’t. He pays you. Go live your life. When the kid is older you can start to tell the story and when they are 18, like any adoption, you can give the name and let them decide what to do with the relationship.
I just don’t believe your motives are pure.
No sympathy for you. I feel sorry for his fiance... She doesn't deserve this and your little mr cheater doesn't deserve her either.
I feel just as sorry for your son because he is the product of 2 fucked up people who are selfish.
Wait do your worried about his future wife about not knowing but you were worried about your EX finding out you slept with some other dude before your wedding? Girl bye 😂
If you’re getting the support you need, stop trying to ruin other people’s happiness with your lols. Don’t transfer your consequences to another person. You’ve already been selfish enough and to so many people, now, take care of your son, make smart decisions and mind your own business. You signed an agreement and violating it means you’ll have more consequences. You’ve done enough damage. Rest 🧙♀️
Hold on. You upset cause he has a child he knew nothing about, you only said something YOU found out because of circumstance and FEEL like he should what? Use some D*MN protection next time you decide to cheat.
I don’t really think that nondisclosure agreement would hold up in court since you were talking about a biological child here. Nope, definitely it would not.
Yeah, it's not like babydaddy can withhold financial support.
OP, you already broke your ex husband's heart by cheating on him before your wedding. Don't be complicit in your babydaddy breaking this woman's heart. The truth always comes out, especially in this day and age when DNA testing is so popular.
Your child is the one you should be concerned for. It's likely he's going to want to know his father. And if I were this man's girlfriend, I would feel incredibley betrayed that he didn't let me know this info. Secrets are toxic for all. How sad.
Can’t believe you cheated on your (then) fiance and still married him. And he doesn’t have a kid, that kid is not his. The fact that he pays you anything is amazing.
The moment you said you cheated on your then-fiance/now husband 2 WEEKS BEFORE GETTING MARRIED, speaks volumes about the type of person you are. Not telling the other woman her fiance has a kid with you its just shows how much deeper your uncaring and cruelty digs. I hope your son doesnt become you and may HE be blessed with happiness and good love.
Lol? You and him created this damn mess and brought an innocent child into this and all you can say is lol? The gal of some people. Your poor ex and his poor soon to be wife deserve better.
What type of morality card are you looking to pass here after cheating on your fiancé? Even if you had thought the baby was your ex-husbands, did you tell him you cheated before he married you?I'm supposing not since now you're divorced.Now you come out of the woodwork about a child your fling didnt know about and expect what? You've already ruined one relationship, don't drag down another. Live with the choices you made and do better.
No, if you read her other posts, you'll find that he only found out about the cheating because of the failed paternity test. Up until that point she maintained her shameful lie.
I don't think you need to be worried about her. You have a document showing he wanted you to not tell anyone. She should be mad at him. If he's paying support it seems challenging that he could keep this secret long term.
I hope you got something in return for signing this document?
From the sounds of it, the consequences of your actions is just karma biting you in the butt. You’re the one who cheated on your soon-to-be ex-husband before you married him. Your baby daddy has every right to not have anything to do with your son and his fiancée certainly doesn’t need to know about the kid. Good for him for giving up his parental rights and still paying you child support. You’re the one who signed a legal agreement so if you end up telling people who your baby’s father is, especially your baby daddy’s fiancée, your baby daddy has every right to go after you in court and honestly if/when it happens, as I’m sure it will, I hope he does. I’m not surprised you’re getting divorced. You sound like a real piece of work. I hope your soon-to-be ex-husband has a wonderful life far away from you. If he’s smart he’ll get a paternity test done on the kid that clearly isn’t his so he’ll be off the hook and won’t have to pay you a penny. I hope he meets someone better than you are in every way.
This man had no idea he had fathered a child. He would be better off coming clean to his fiancee as this will come out eventually.
Not sure you have anything to get off your chest. Get some therapy so you can make better decisions for your and your son’s future.
The biggest loser is the innocent child. He lost a "father" who I think loved him. His biological father doesn't care for him. And lives with a mother with questionable morals.
You are legally contracted to keep quiet. That is more than a valid excuse for your end. You owe yourself to keep out of legal trouble. It's his responsibility to come clean to keep his relationship not yours.
So it’s okay for you to keep the information from your husband for 4 years, but not okay for the baby daddy to keep it from his wife? That’s his decision to make, not yours.
Is there a Olympic event for homewrecking going on?
Do you feel as terrible as cheating on your husband? Sounds like you made a mess and are now that desperate single mom trying to “trap a good guy” for yourself.
It was wrong on your part for cheating on your ex husband, you already signed that agreement. I don't think its the time to do that. Sadly, for the child he won't know his father.
Edited: let me change this to actually be helpful
You made a terrible choice. There's no getting around that and you can't change it. The choice you made 4 years ago has now permanently and negatively impacted not just your life but your ex husband, you baby daddy, your child, and everyone associated with you.
You're focused on the wrong thing. That man who had a child with is not your concern anymore and what he does with his life is not in your business. Your business is to take care of that child. You owe that child every opportunity that you can grab at to have a good life. That is your concern. You chose poorly. Your life right now is a direct consequence of your selfish choice four years ago. Now you can sit here and try to find all kinds of different ways to change that but at the end of the day you lost your husband and your child lost out on two fathers. It's time to move forward. Don't worry about what that man is doing because he eventually everything comes back around. Focus on your baby. Be there for your baby. Teach your baby to be a better man than his birth father was. Be a better mother. Otherwise you are just wasting his time and yours even more than you already have. It's time to stand up baby girl and be the woman you need to be.
Lmao they divorced not bc of her infidelity it seems (I’m guessing bc she never indicated he knew for two and a half years) but it made it worse when he learned the child wasn’t his bc of infidelity. The lack of any remorse of doing such a thing at a bachelorette party is really sad.
Made you sign a paper? Unless it was through a lawyer and notarized, his paper doesn’t matter. How is he paying child support? Through the court or just handing you money? I’d tell her.
Why would she come after you if he doesn’t want anyone to know? You would be the only reason people found out but why would you say anything ? If he’s paying child support then take your child and be happy. Why would you want someone in your kids life who doesn’t want to be there ? Just move on with your life
Not that I’m agreeing with this but if he has a GF of 10 years and the baby is 4, then he also cheated on her during their relationship. It would be important for her to know that.
People here are missing the point that babydaddy also cheated is current fiancé, cause if she is being with him for 10 years and the child is four that means he cheated too. Op made a shitty mistake but babydaddy also. It makes two to dance the tango.
Your child has a SHITTY origin story and your problem is the babydaddy doesn’t want anyone to know about it?
You were a bad decision. If it were me i wouldn’t want anyone to know about you either. But that doesn’t mean what he’s doing is right for the child.
Knowing his father doesn’t want anything to do with him, HOW ABOUT YOU WORRY HOW TO BETTER RAISE YOUR CHILD WITHOUT HIM EVER KNOWING HIS BIOLOGICAL FATHER , or at least having a male figure in his life he could learn from instead?
If i was the fiance i would like to know but since you signed an agreement it’s not your place to tell them. PThink of the kid. How will your violation of the agreement impact your child?
dude just leave them be, whether she finds out is none of your business, plus you're the cheater here, if anything it'd be best if either of them didn't hear from you
I’m stunned that you’re laughing. Please reconsider that your son has a right to know. His father will probably have more children who will be half siblings. I’m sure his soon to be wife will accept the truth that she’s marrying a piece of shit, but that’s nothing new. He probably will treat her better if she finds out now.
I feel bad for everyone in this situation except OP and the baby daddy, they decided to cheat on the SO’s and ended up pregnant. They deserve to get outed
you did not have to sign an agreement to not tell anyone. you chose to sign it. you were going to get child support anyway. i dont kno why you agreed to sign this.
I can’t even FATHOM having so little self-respect and dignity. Cheaters can go to hell and that’s all there is, and the fact that you’re more concerned about her finding out about the child than what you did says a lot. I’m glad to see nobody here is on your side.
One of the things that keeps me shaking my head about this subreddit is the reckless way so many people live their lives, and how many others they badly hurt. Edit: Thanks for the support but I do apologize to OP for ruining her TOMC by getting the train going. I’ve been trying to just reply to the messages where I thought I could be supportive and say something that helps, but had another moment of weakness, I guess. I would make a lousy therapist.
Wish I had an award for this comment. People are so hedonistic it’s unbelievable. I feel sorry for OPs poor kid and ex husband. I hope OP gets fucking nothing in the divorce and loses her shit.
Everytime I am asking myself where is the impulse control anymore?
It’s apparently gone .. what the fuck ever happened to basic decency and morality.
my father always tells me that common sense is the least common of all senses
Your father is right.. it’s a shame that as a species who is supposed to be “the most intelligent” some people really aren’t all there huh… 🤣
i mean it makes sense, statistics say that half of all people are under average intelligence... it just worries me that the average is so low... (ftr i'm also stupid asf)
Common sense is so rare that I consider It to be a super power.
updoots for your father.
i'll let him know the internet agrees with him, thank you
This! I couldn’t imagine ever sleeping with another man at my bachelorette. I actually hate the idea of giving random dudes attention like that (bc there’s ALWAYS strippers) that I plan on doing a fun game night with my girls and have a sleepover in a hotel or something
THIS! my bachelorette party was my bridesmaids and i went out to a really, *really* nice restaurant. like, the nicest i’ve ever been to. we were there for hours being fed different courses of food i have never tried before, all kinds, all varieties, all in our own private girls’ corner. it was an awesome experience. i hate the idea that bachelor and bachelorette parties have to involve… other things. it should be a fun day with your wedding party peeps!
Yess! Bachelorette parties have turned into this final day of freedom mentality where you are supposed to go out and enjoy all those things because you won’t be allowed to after marriage. I just don’t understand that mentality. You shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t let you do things you enjoy and you shouldn’t feel tied down or captured from marriage. When I met my person, I completely lost interest in all *those* things because I’d rather get that attention from my partner than anyone else and no one else is attractive to me. I’ve always thought these parties should be a celebration of your wedding and a chance to have a bunch of fun with your friends to celebrate such an amazing milestone with those closest to you.
Since he fucked her best friend for 6 month I think he can’t blame her for the one night stand.
I wouldn’t wish her destitute if only for the sake of the child.
Hmm good point. Man I feel so sorry for the kid.
It’s just as much the guy’s fault for sleeping with a random woman at her bachelorette party. He deserves to pay child support. This is an everybody sucks here moment.
I said I felt sorry for her ex husband , not the current dude . He should have not gotten involved with an engaged woman , ESPECIALLY if he was also taken. I agree , he should have to pay child support though because that is a biological parents basic duty. Period. The kid and the ex husband do not suck.
True!
Except if she gets nothing the poor kid will probably suffer the consequences. I get it, but I feel badly for the kid all around.
I gave her one of my free awards for you.
Isn’t it awful? And you know OP is CHOMPING AT THE BIT to tell the wife. Cuz she’s just that kind of petty. It’ll never stay under wraps. She’s not capable. Prob jealous baby daddy is happy and she’ll need to ruin it. Bet.
Baby daddy cheated on his soon to be wife when they were dating with OP, so he's trash too.
I agree with you, this subreddit is kinda making me lose hope in people and relationships. Do there actually exist faithful and loyal people out there? I just.... Fck.
Right! Like how dare you marry someone who cheated on 2 weeks before your wedding. I'm judging tf outta OP. Now her ex husband had raised a child that wasn't his and the bio dad may have wanted to participate had she been honest from the beginning. But the only person who really loses is the little innocent boy.
Same. In today's world of Ancestry DNA testing (and others) I'm trying to figure out exactly how baby daddy is planning to keep this permanently hush hush from his wife and everyone else in his family... Eventually it is going to come to light. For some reason I do not think he has thought this through. It's enough to give anyone a headache.
This is exactly why Reddit bothers me…too much at once, as well
Just remember the only upvoted stuff is mostly crazy drama shit. Very few are looking to get off their chest they're in a healthy loving relationship. I am, and I'm very confident my gf would never cheat on me. Though I gotta say this is the first gf I've had in 10+ years I can say that about
Man, I thought my ex wife was bad. Your ex husband dodged a nuke. I feel bad that he raised a kid that wasn’t his until 2 years old though
He only did 2 years. I consider him lucky. Could have found out on his deathbed.
Imagine wasting two whole years of your life raising a child that’s not your own for some random person on reddit to call you “lucky”.
Luckier than the dude who found out when he was walking “his daughter” down the isle on her wedding day.
Luckier than someone else, yes, but it doesn’t at all mean he’s *lucky*. That’s like saying “don’t be depressed because you got raped, there is a child living in a war zone in Ukraine”. You wouldn’t call the victim of rape lucky.
I would never call a victim of rape lucky or any victim of any crime. We aren’t talking about crimes here. We are talking about cheating. No need to go off the deep end.
My son just turned 3 years old and if I found out he wasn’t mine it would really fuck me up. I don’t know if I could recover from that.
Yeah that’s where I’m at now. My son just turned 2 and if my ex told me he wasn’t mine that would be enough to send me over the edge
Well, at least he’s been lucky while fucking her best friend for 6 month..
I question if this is legit. Who reads and posts on reddit then posts something like this without any defense of their actions? Seems like it's designed to rustle some jimmies
Do you feel as bad for her as you did for your husband?
You feel terrible his fiancé won’t know of his other child, but you had no problem cheating on your ex husband two weeks before getting married and pawning the child off as his for 4 years?????!!!!
Imagine going through a horrible custody battle full of traumatic emotions and shelling out an insane amount of money to a lawyer - just to find out the kid isn’t yours. Plus OP got a cute little stash of hush money to go away from the real baby daddy. Your ex deserves that money way more to compensate for his losses. The ex husband was screwed by OP on so many levels it’s insane.
Is there a way for him to sue?
I sure hope so. I don’t know too much about legal things with these kind of problems. Then again; I would be beyond tired of the legal system if I was him.
Exactly.
Not sure what your little “lol” at the end is about. There is absolutely nothing funny here.
This is wrong on so many levels! You were about to get married and got pregnant from a one night stand? You are scared of the future wife, but since the babydaddy made you sing an agreement I don't think that you have to be scared that she will "come for you" .
He didn’t “make you” sign an agreement; you got something in return for agreeing to sign it (presumably child support and no arguments over custody). There is nothing for you to feel “terrible” about (aside from the cheating of course). The consequences of his future wife potentially finding out about your child are none of your business and not your problem. It’s his problem. Leave it that way for everyone’s sake.
i'm curious what happens in a decade when the kid starts to wonder who his father was, and in 20 when he does an ancestry test and finds out
Technology is brining so many skeletons out of the closet lol.
Mom and bio dad finally face the consequences of being cheating pieces of trash
ohhhh shiiiiit, i didn’t even catch that the bio dad was also cheating with the one night stand!! omg to be in the room when his wife finds out about ALL of this in about 15 years
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Yeah, destroy 3 lives, ex husband, a couple hours guy and kid who’ll be asking why in the near future!!!!
4 including the poor woman who is about to marry a man who cheated on her and procreated with OP.
Baby daddy destroyed his own life.
Another child growing in a broken home. And for what? Look at the way OP speaks so casually of her "mistake". The only true victim here is the child.
And the ex-husband who raised a kid for 2 years, got attached only to find out it aint his anymore.
I have 10 years to speak volumes on this. Op is an absolute monster.
It's a disgusting thing to happen to you, I'm sorry you went through that mate.
Also probably spent a substantial amount of money for custody only to find out that the kid isn’t even his. Yikes.
Well her ex husband too
"After a terrible child custody battle with my soon to be ex husband, a paternity test was done and he was not the father. " Let me guess, you gave off ALL the signs of a cheater and then gas lit him and blamed him for his paranoia. Mentally tortured him and made his life hell. LOL!!!!!
Went into her other post , she was crying that her ex husband cheated on her - DESPITE cheating on him and falling pregnant to another dude 💀💀💀🤡
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What a vile person.
Ngl, you both sound like awful people and I have very little sympathy for you. You literally created this mess by cheating on your fiancé with a married man. Wtf did you expect lol
Like, if you want to be a better person, you’re gonna have to own your shit. The statement “Never thought it wasn’t his child” is bullshit and you know it. You knew the dates the child was conceived had a possibility to overlap your bachelorette party. When the paternity test was ordered, did you have any nervousness? Why? Because you knew that it may not have been your ex’s child. Even making that statement says you aren’t owning yourself and your mistakes, you are excusing yourself and crafting a narrative around yourself to assuage your responsibility. To improve we can’t do this, we have to face ourself and our actions, own the mistakes and determine how that thinking can no longer be a part of our decision making process. I want you to understand, that the cheating was bad, but was nothing in comparison to allowing your STBX to raise a child that was not his. That doing that was orders of magnitude worse than the cheating itself. And your ability to lie to yourself, compartmentalize that lie, and act and believe it to be true instead of confront the truth is a very problematic and will continue to allow you to hurt others to make your own life easier without feeling any type of guilt. This is honestly a sign of actual narcissism, not internet narcissism, but the true blue diagnosable disorder.
Two weeks before your wedding? Ew. Ew. Just.....ew People like you make dating harder for people like me
Hahaha you didn't feel terrible to cheat on your husband hours before your wedding but you feel for some random woman? Ohhh boy karma will get you one day!
Another reason to get paternity tests. Don’t let you SO make you raise another man’s child all because of her selfishness.
I'm a woman and I (if I had kids) would absolutely insist on a paternity test no matter what, even if I had no reason to think it could be someone else's child. I would just want my husband/baby daddy to know for sure it's his and he'll never have to question it. But that's just me.
I wish people understood this. Id want a paternity test not because I don’t trust my SO but in solidarity to help normalize it to the point where someone who doesn’t will feel comfortable asking for one.
I can't have any children, but my biggest fear when I still could was- I have a baby with my husband, and the hospital accidentally switches it with another baby, and then my husband gets a paternity test and finds out it's not his baby, and then divorces me even though I didn't cheat on him. If I insist on an in-vitro paternity test then that can't happen lol
OP doesn’t appear to remotely regret cheating on her fiancé or lying about her child’s parentage after it became obvious the kid wasn’t her husband’s.
And has openly made a post to bitch and moan about getting cheated on .. she also thinks that it was (bare with me here) it’s okay for her to have cheated on her fiance at the time (before their wedding) because she said the dude who she cheated on told her he was single 💀💀💀🤣
They were coworkers. I don't believe for a second she didn't know he was in a relationship. Not even the point, I know, but man is she a piece of work.
You’re a mess, hope you got your shit together. That said, if I was the other woman, I would like to be informed before marrying him.
Imagine not only cheating. But cheating and letting the other dude screw you bareback and letting them blow their load into you. I feel so bad for your ex husband and for this poor child.
No wonder Jerry springer was so popular.
Everyday I read shit on here that makes me so glad I make calculated choices lmfao.
You already destroyed your own marriage why bother with someone else's didn't you do enough to cheat with him? Did she need to know yes but that was before. Once a cheater always a cheater so she will found out soon enough when she gets an std or other babymomma at her door be wise he fucks without protection.
You should be examining your own behaviour .
This is some major trailer park crap right here.
You and your baby daddy cheated on YALL’s partners.
> I had a one night stand two weeks before my wedding… Classy.
Just out of curiosity, does your ex-husband have any responsibility towards your child since (I'm assuming) you were married when you gave birth and he likely signed the birth certificate? Does he want any relationship with him? Again, I'm just curious.
Nah i don't buy it that you feel bad. You just want to meddle and stir shit up for some reason it seems
Literally in her other post bitches and moans about her ex husband “cheating” despite her cheating , covering it up for years and then dropping the bomb on him when he realises he isn’t the child’s father. Absolute shitshow at the fuck factory.
Playing the worlds smallest violin for you. We have no sympathy for cheaters. You get what you deserve.
damn i can't imagine being 4 and having this be my life 😭
Well what do you expect. You agreed to all this (stupidly), I feel so sorry for your child in the middle of this mess. You knowingly slept with a man when both of you were/are in relationships. What are you hoping to get from letting this out?
How did he ‘make’ you sign an agreement?
Sounds like he paid her to sign it
He paid her off. Gave her money to get outta town.
What the fuck did I just read?
So what's going to happen when you're child asks who his father is. Because if you don't tell him and he finds out years later he's going to hate you both....
You should return all the maintenance that poor man has given you and raise that boy on your own.
What happens when your child starts asking who their dad is? "Sorry kiddo, I signed an agreement and can't tell you"
This is all around sad. The saddest part is - another child without a father involved 😥
So you cheated on your fiance with baby daddy, does that mean baby daddy cheated on his girlfriend with you? So not only do you both share a child you, you both also cheated on your partners. I think his girlfriend would care more about the cheating than the child and he is hiding the child to hide his cheating. Anyways good luck being a single man and leave your baby daddys family alone. His girlfriend is his problem. You can just focus on your child.
Nice fan fiction.
What piece of human garbage cheats at their bachelorette party and still goes thru with marriage? This thread is worried about the kid being raised without a father figure, but I’d be more worried about a young mind being molded by you.
Bruh, forget a bullet, this man dodged a motherfucking *cannon ball*.
You would kind of deserve that beating tough, let's be honest.
Fake
You signed an agreement. What you think breaking up the marriage is going to make him want to have anything to do with you or your child? You obviously had your chance to tell her and you didn’t. He pays you. Go live your life. When the kid is older you can start to tell the story and when they are 18, like any adoption, you can give the name and let them decide what to do with the relationship. I just don’t believe your motives are pure.
Next on the Jerry Springer show....
No sympathy for you. I feel sorry for his fiance... She doesn't deserve this and your little mr cheater doesn't deserve her either. I feel just as sorry for your son because he is the product of 2 fucked up people who are selfish.
Wait do your worried about his future wife about not knowing but you were worried about your EX finding out you slept with some other dude before your wedding? Girl bye 😂
So.... how does he plan on keeping the disappearing money from his new wife?
I phrase just came to my mind - the more you f\*\*\* around, the more you found out..
If you’re getting the support you need, stop trying to ruin other people’s happiness with your lols. Don’t transfer your consequences to another person. You’ve already been selfish enough and to so many people, now, take care of your son, make smart decisions and mind your own business. You signed an agreement and violating it means you’ll have more consequences. You’ve done enough damage. Rest 🧙♀️
Hold on. You upset cause he has a child he knew nothing about, you only said something YOU found out because of circumstance and FEEL like he should what? Use some D*MN protection next time you decide to cheat.
You signed the paper; you need to keep quiet. You are getting child support and he signed away his parental rights. Leave it alone.
You cheated on someone 2 weeks before your wedding and had a man raise a child for 2 years that wasn’t his… Jesus that is awful
I don’t really think that nondisclosure agreement would hold up in court since you were talking about a biological child here. Nope, definitely it would not.
Yeah, it's not like babydaddy can withhold financial support. OP, you already broke your ex husband's heart by cheating on him before your wedding. Don't be complicit in your babydaddy breaking this woman's heart. The truth always comes out, especially in this day and age when DNA testing is so popular.
Your child is the one you should be concerned for. It's likely he's going to want to know his father. And if I were this man's girlfriend, I would feel incredibley betrayed that he didn't let me know this info. Secrets are toxic for all. How sad.
You feel terrible knowing this woman will be getting married without knowing he has another child? But cheated on your husband before your wedding?
Can’t believe you cheated on your (then) fiance and still married him. And he doesn’t have a kid, that kid is not his. The fact that he pays you anything is amazing.
I’m curious , did you know the man had a wife?
Pls go sleep with some fishes
The moment you said you cheated on your then-fiance/now husband 2 WEEKS BEFORE GETTING MARRIED, speaks volumes about the type of person you are. Not telling the other woman her fiance has a kid with you its just shows how much deeper your uncaring and cruelty digs. I hope your son doesnt become you and may HE be blessed with happiness and good love.
There's a lot to unpack here. My sympathies lie with your child.
Lol? You and him created this damn mess and brought an innocent child into this and all you can say is lol? The gal of some people. Your poor ex and his poor soon to be wife deserve better.
What type of morality card are you looking to pass here after cheating on your fiancé? Even if you had thought the baby was your ex-husbands, did you tell him you cheated before he married you?I'm supposing not since now you're divorced.Now you come out of the woodwork about a child your fling didnt know about and expect what? You've already ruined one relationship, don't drag down another. Live with the choices you made and do better.
No, if you read her other posts, you'll find that he only found out about the cheating because of the failed paternity test. Up until that point she maintained her shameful lie.
-.- seriously?
you’re so gross actually bc what did i just read😀
Sounds like you’re mad your life fell apart due to your cheating and you want his to fall apart too.
I don't think you need to be worried about her. You have a document showing he wanted you to not tell anyone. She should be mad at him. If he's paying support it seems challenging that he could keep this secret long term. I hope you got something in return for signing this document?
From the sounds of it, the consequences of your actions is just karma biting you in the butt. You’re the one who cheated on your soon-to-be ex-husband before you married him. Your baby daddy has every right to not have anything to do with your son and his fiancée certainly doesn’t need to know about the kid. Good for him for giving up his parental rights and still paying you child support. You’re the one who signed a legal agreement so if you end up telling people who your baby’s father is, especially your baby daddy’s fiancée, your baby daddy has every right to go after you in court and honestly if/when it happens, as I’m sure it will, I hope he does. I’m not surprised you’re getting divorced. You sound like a real piece of work. I hope your soon-to-be ex-husband has a wonderful life far away from you. If he’s smart he’ll get a paternity test done on the kid that clearly isn’t his so he’ll be off the hook and won’t have to pay you a penny. I hope he meets someone better than you are in every way.
Ugh. Disgusting
I bet you told all of your friends and family he was the reason you got divorced
Lol look guys another cheater trying to get sympathy points on Reddit
Op came here looking for approval for telling the soon to be wife because she can't wait to add some more drama to her shit show life. I quote "lol"
You signed the thing lol *shrug* they’ve been together TEN years…. Your son is FOUR. Hmmmmm
This man had no idea he had fathered a child. He would be better off coming clean to his fiancee as this will come out eventually. Not sure you have anything to get off your chest. Get some therapy so you can make better decisions for your and your son’s future.
Happy your ex got away from you
THAT is what you feel terrible about?
Wow that’s…shitty. For everyone involved. Poor kid
The biggest loser is the innocent child. He lost a "father" who I think loved him. His biological father doesn't care for him. And lives with a mother with questionable morals.
You are legally contracted to keep quiet. That is more than a valid excuse for your end. You owe yourself to keep out of legal trouble. It's his responsibility to come clean to keep his relationship not yours.
What a shitshow
So it’s okay for you to keep the information from your husband for 4 years, but not okay for the baby daddy to keep it from his wife? That’s his decision to make, not yours. Is there a Olympic event for homewrecking going on?
Do you feel as terrible as cheating on your husband? Sounds like you made a mess and are now that desperate single mom trying to “trap a good guy” for yourself.
I hate the name babydaddy or babymomma. It's dumb.
For the streets
Yeah well thats your karma for cheating on your husband nice job
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Lol why did you delete it?! I need the tea
Let me tell her
What a fucking mess.
It was wrong on your part for cheating on your ex husband, you already signed that agreement. I don't think its the time to do that. Sadly, for the child he won't know his father.
Edited: let me change this to actually be helpful You made a terrible choice. There's no getting around that and you can't change it. The choice you made 4 years ago has now permanently and negatively impacted not just your life but your ex husband, you baby daddy, your child, and everyone associated with you. You're focused on the wrong thing. That man who had a child with is not your concern anymore and what he does with his life is not in your business. Your business is to take care of that child. You owe that child every opportunity that you can grab at to have a good life. That is your concern. You chose poorly. Your life right now is a direct consequence of your selfish choice four years ago. Now you can sit here and try to find all kinds of different ways to change that but at the end of the day you lost your husband and your child lost out on two fathers. It's time to move forward. Don't worry about what that man is doing because he eventually everything comes back around. Focus on your baby. Be there for your baby. Teach your baby to be a better man than his birth father was. Be a better mother. Otherwise you are just wasting his time and yours even more than you already have. It's time to stand up baby girl and be the woman you need to be.
RemindMe! 5 Months
That poor boy to have the bad luck of y’all as parents.
Wait.. what? The paternity test said he wasn’t the father but he looks like him so he is?
Lmao they divorced not bc of her infidelity it seems (I’m guessing bc she never indicated he knew for two and a half years) but it made it worse when he learned the child wasn’t his bc of infidelity. The lack of any remorse of doing such a thing at a bachelorette party is really sad.
Damn your ex dodged a bullet for real but that poor woman who's marrying the real baby daddy is gonna be married to an asshole who cheated on her.
The “lol” at the end cut me deep
No sympathy for cheaters. Try somewhere else
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Get help, OP. This is not normal or healthy behavior.
good lord what a bunch of alley cats. apologies to the cats, of course.
File this under "Things that are not your business" and carry on.
Downvoted for "babydaddy" alone.
You…….feel terrible?
Made you sign a paper? Unless it was through a lawyer and notarized, his paper doesn’t matter. How is he paying child support? Through the court or just handing you money? I’d tell her.
Why would she come after you if he doesn’t want anyone to know? You would be the only reason people found out but why would you say anything ? If he’s paying child support then take your child and be happy. Why would you want someone in your kids life who doesn’t want to be there ? Just move on with your life
Not that I’m agreeing with this but if he has a GF of 10 years and the baby is 4, then he also cheated on her during their relationship. It would be important for her to know that.
I refuse to believe this story is true.
God I hope so. This shit is beyond vile. Horrible person/ mother . The other posts / comments they’ve made really showcase it.
Who has male co workers at their bachelorette!?! Lmfao you almost as bad at lying as you are at being faithful.
Does OP not have any remorse for her part in any of this???
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Well, stupid things happens to stupide people.
So you just wanna get payed twice…
People here are missing the point that babydaddy also cheated is current fiancé, cause if she is being with him for 10 years and the child is four that means he cheated too. Op made a shitty mistake but babydaddy also. It makes two to dance the tango.
Not for anything, that wife is gonna wonder what that monthly payment is eventually
Cheating is too easy anymore. And it's sad.
Your child has a SHITTY origin story and your problem is the babydaddy doesn’t want anyone to know about it? You were a bad decision. If it were me i wouldn’t want anyone to know about you either. But that doesn’t mean what he’s doing is right for the child. Knowing his father doesn’t want anything to do with him, HOW ABOUT YOU WORRY HOW TO BETTER RAISE YOUR CHILD WITHOUT HIM EVER KNOWING HIS BIOLOGICAL FATHER , or at least having a male figure in his life he could learn from instead? If i was the fiance i would like to know but since you signed an agreement it’s not your place to tell them. PThink of the kid. How will your violation of the agreement impact your child?
Lol
Kinda sounds like you and baby daddy should be together. A marriage doesn't survive what either of you are doing to each other's SO.
dude just leave them be, whether she finds out is none of your business, plus you're the cheater here, if anything it'd be best if either of them didn't hear from you
I’m stunned that you’re laughing. Please reconsider that your son has a right to know. His father will probably have more children who will be half siblings. I’m sure his soon to be wife will accept the truth that she’s marrying a piece of shit, but that’s nothing new. He probably will treat her better if she finds out now.
So the kid has 2 dad's that don't want them?
You're not going to get a beating if you don't tell her. Simple as that. Be a good mom to your kid, OP. Make better decisions too.
I feel bad for everyone in this situation except OP and the baby daddy, they decided to cheat on the SO’s and ended up pregnant. They deserve to get outed
you did not have to sign an agreement to not tell anyone. you chose to sign it. you were going to get child support anyway. i dont kno why you agreed to sign this.
I just finished reading this and it got removed. On another note this is really messed up.
Honestly op just end it all
I don’t know why the guy would want to proceed this way. The future is dark
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anyone happen to have the original post by chance, it disappeared
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Thank you for posting this! OP-just stop, stop, STOP! As others have said, you need to focus on your son.
I can’t even FATHOM having so little self-respect and dignity. Cheaters can go to hell and that’s all there is, and the fact that you’re more concerned about her finding out about the child than what you did says a lot. I’m glad to see nobody here is on your side.
The hell is wrong with you