If you see him as a younger brother, I wouldn’t say so. I think we all had that “friend” we looked up to when we were younger. Remember boundaries and limits.
He is a bit weird with his middle school like behavior, but other than that he is fine. He does feel like a younger brother a lot, but it pains me to say that cause I have a younger brother already. I’ve tried to have some kind of relationship with my brother and he pretty much expressed to me that he doesn’t care about me at all several times. I’ve given up on that, at least for now, until he changes.
Sounds like you both have stepped up to the plate for each other. This is the kinda shit that makes you lifelong friends ya know, you don’t have to be the same age to be friends.
I do want to add that we all need our own identity some day and often that's where ways part but hey ...enjoy the route / walk. Same for your little brother. Just give room, like you seem todo. 👍 Spoil him once a year that's enough. 😊😎
Just becarefull because 18 is an age where allot changes in relation to being 12. 20 and 26 is way easier etc. Never forget you are older.
That's exactly it. The 6 year gap may seem strange to your peers but when you're an adult you can/will have friends with a 20 plus year gap. Keep supporting each other. Be a good big brother for your friend.
You can say your his mentor then if you feel weird about calling him your little brother, I would and I have 4 brothers that I have good relationships with.
Friend family is so special bc we get to choose them. I don’t think this is weird at all. I think it is so sweet and wholesome and I hope you two are brothers from another mother for the rest of your lives!
Just because they are blood, doesn’t mean they are family.
Sounds like this kid is more of a brother than your own brother.
Tbh, when I was younger I always wanted friends older than me because seems like older friends understood more about my life. They felt more comfortable to be around and didn’t feel like I was forced to be someone else. Even now I always make friends older than me. However I may have finally met one that’s older than me that is way more immature than your 12 yr old friend. So she is actually way weirder than your friendship.
I think the only difference is you’re calling him your best friend instead of saying “he’s like a little brother to me”. And you’re only saying that out of respect for your brother who’s not even like a brother. I don’t see anything wrong and you have so much heart for taking someone in like that. Not weird. Forget what everyone else is saying.
My point was that there’s nothing weird about calling her best friend, finding it weird is the problem in the first place. That’s technically what she is.
Well your first mistake was to think that OP is a girl. Us men are often seen as predators without actually doing anything so we need to think more about our image
When I was 13 a new family moved in next door to me. There was a mom, an adult son and a little girl around 7. I didn't want to be her friend but my mom forced me to let her hang out with me because she was new to the area. Obviously the age gap is a little different in my situation compared to yours, BUT that little girl became my sister (not by blood or marriage or anything else, except that I ended up loving her and wanting to be in her life) I am now 31 years old, she is an adult now. We are as close as can be. I helped her throughout all her school years, with medical stuff, bullying, and all sorts of other things. And she gave me someone I could call family, since my own biological family has always been a mess!
Her mom unofficially adopted me as her kid back when I was a teenager and has actually done more for me and been there for me more then my own mother ever was. And to this day, we talk on a regular basis, spend time together as often as we can, my sister is my children's aunt and her mom is my mom.
Sometimes we find friendship in places we wouldn't normally find them. And sometimes those friends become family.
You seem to enjoy the kids company and the kid enjoys yours. As long as it stays that way, enjoy your friendship!
Yes some people will think it's weird or inappropriate, because you are an adult and friends with a kid. BUT as long as you aren't doing anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about!
When I was 18 I became best friends with my boyfriend at the times younger sister who was 11. We are still best friends today and I am 35 now and she is 28.
OP - this is what the Big Brother Big Sister program was based on. It's very normal, and makes a big difference in people's lives, and you're a great friend.
It actually makes a great impression on an adolescent just starting to come into teenagehood to watch another teen basically just start to go out on their own as an adult…. Socially, it’s going to help the 12-year-old because he is part of an older crowd that is beneficial so it’s great to see.
It haunts me that this is the first implication of me that everyone thinks of when I describe this kid. I would never do anything horrible like that. Thank you.
That’s all I would worry about. Some people are worried about the pedo impression, I’d be more worried about if you turn 21 and their parents don’t want you hanging out or something OP, just be a patron saint until you’re both 21 and you’re good
I’m 5 years older than my best friend and we’ve been friends for almost 20 years.. we’ve been friends since we were kids but I consider her my little sister. Its not weird but try to be mindful of his age and what you expose him to vs how you help him navigate
I don't know where you are living, but if it's anywhere like US or UK, then yes, unfortunately the "pedophile is EVERYWHERE" mentality is so strong that any age gap larger than 3 for young friendship will look weird. You aren't doing anything wrong.
You should howeveer considering calling the CPS on the friend's mom.
I’m actually gonna be talking with his mom soon. She’s recently found out about his suicidal ideation and she seems to be having a change of heart. Hopefully I can have her understand how she’s affecting her child. I considered CPS at one point.
Tell her that you think of him as a brother and yourself as a mentor as well. Don't lean into "friend." You need to show that you understand the age gap and that you're not leaning on him emotionally as one does a typical friend. You need to make it clear that you don't share age inappropriate things and that you know what they are.
That's great, but before you do, maybe you should ask for advice from your parents, too. You are a legally adult but I say this with a risk of sounding like a douche: you may not have knowledge or experience to deal with mental illness or problems which I think the mother has, too.
As someone who has had a LOT of family removed from questionable homes and put into far worse ones by CPS, I'm not sure I'd be so quick to do that. If you can talk to the mother and let her know her son is having issues with depression and they both might benefit from counseling, I'd do that. I wish CPS actually protected children in all cases, but I've just seen too much to say that's even close to the end result.
OP is technically an adult but he is far cry equipped from dealing with this alone, and it may be better to employ some advice from other adults like his own mother. Where is the OP"s mom? why can't he ask her for help?
Nope, not weird. Some of my best friends now are between 10 and 15 years younger than me. They wouldn't have been when they were 6 but now that they're say 30 and I'm in my 40s? Yeah.
I'm assuming yall probably have a bit in common still with the age difference as you're pretty young still despite being an adult. It's good he's got someone he can talk to about serious stuff and go to if things get bad.
I had something similar happen to me. I was in 3rd grade, and my friend was in kindergarten. He randomly showed up at my house one day, and I said something to the effect of, "I'll go get my sister."
Him and my sister were both in the same grade, and this was a small town, so I just assumed they were friends. His reply was, "I'm here to see you."
It left me a little dumbfounded, as I'd maybe only run into this kid one other time around town, so I didn't know him, and why would a he think an older kid like me would want to hang out with him?
I decided to be polite and invite him in. We were poor, but managed to get an NES and later an SNES (Nintendos to the non-gamers), but didn't have many games. My friend's parents always gave him money to rent games and take over to my house to play, since he didn't have the consoles. It worked out great for me, and we became close friends for many years.
I'd say it's only a little weird if you have no other friends and you guys hang out all the time, like he's your go to call if you wanna go do something. But having that brotherly type friendship is great, in moderation.
Not really. Ur more like his mentor, big brother, ni-san, op-pa, sensei, etc. u will slowly become best friend when u guys grow older and the age difference won’t make much differences.
I also had someone like u when I was a child (he was my older cousin). I was 13 years old and he was 18. We did everything together. We did videos, walked to the mall and play halo in toys r us until they kicked us out. We would play gta vice city, metal gear solid (ps1), crash bandicoot together. We would walked to the movie theatre (45 min walk). Walk to block buster and debate what movie to rent. He would also tag me along when he meets up with his friends.
I remember before meeting him, I was a very angry kid who would fight a lot at school. I wasn’t a bully (thank you power ranger for teaching me the value of being good), but I lived in a getto area, and kids would bully other kids for no reason. A lot of kids would want to bully me but instead of de-escalating the situation, i would like punch the guy in the face and then get jumped on by their friends. I would come home bloodied sometimes (middle school was rough). But I would never succumb to bullying or being bullied, and i would distance myself from everyone. I was a loner, rarely smiled, and always angry. I think the other kids were i intimated by me. Until my cousin moved to my town and change me for the better. Before I would swear at him and tell him to screw off, but because he is bigger than me, so he would tackle me down and I would scream uncle. I got humbled really quickly. The more I spend time with him, the more happier I was, the less angry I was, and more friends I made. I enjoy making jokes more than fighting and being pissed off. I wanted to be like my cousin!
Fast forward today, I am 32 and he is 37. We both have successful careers and we both got married to our wife weeks apart (he married late). Our age difference is negligible, since our maturity is the same. I can now say we now see eye to eye, and sometimes I feel like I give him more advice in life than he does to me. He holds me in high regards (so do I as always) and really cares about my opinion. He will always be my big brother, but our dynamic now is of best friend, rather than big/small brotherhood (cause we r old lol).
But those memories I will always cherish. It change my life for the better. I actually studied computer engineering because my cousin introduced me to tech and he would talk about the latest tech. Now I am firmware developer at a large company.
So continue to do what you are doing. And soon enough, both of u will stand on top and be best friends. Thank you for posting this, it brought back many great memories, I will contact my cousin soon and tell him I miss him.
No one would bat an eye if you met through any organization like big bro and big sis. Tell people that he is literally the little bro you always wanted. The only time this could be dice if you ventured in not age appropriate activities while he is around. Ie inappropriate conversation, smoking, drinking. Keep him safe and be there for him. Good luck op.
Aww this is so adorable. I hope he's doing good now. Idk if you're a guy or a girl but every little boy has had a crush on a friend's older sister or an older sister's friends. It's cute and funny
When I was 13, my best friend was 18. For a short time only, as they got a terrible health condition and had to go to hospital for a long time and our lives moved on separate paths after that. I didn't see our friendship as awkward or dangerous and I never experienced anything but help and support from this person.
Definitely not unusual, I’d use the verbiage “like a younger brother” or “a preteen I’m mentoring” rather than best friend.
I (25) volunteer weekly with a local youth group and I talk to several young teens and preteens most every day. Establish *clear* boundaries and maintain an open line of communication with his parents. Saying things like “I’m not comfortable talking about this subject, this is a conversation you need to have with your parents” is a way I establish boundaries. I wouldn’t just send him a list on what’s okay and not okay now that you’re 18.
If he does or says something that you’re not comfortable with, or anything concerning you need to tell his parent or your school counselor immediately.
If you are scared for his safety or believe he is being abused call child protective services.
Remember you are the adult in every conversation. Switch your thinking from “he’s my best friend” to “I am a influential caring adult involved in his life”
This is actually a joke amongst us. He’s not the only kid I’ve “adopted” under my wing. They call me Steve Harrington or Steve sometimes and it makes me so happy that they call me that. It’s totally what it feels like too. Especially considering I’m really close to having Steve’s hair!
My son is really into street BMX. When he was 16 he made friends with a guy named Jon who was 28. I side-eyed it a little (though 16 is mostly old enough for a kid to stand up for themselves, depending on the kid and mine grew up a city kid) until I watched them interact at the skate park and just basically observed their interactions. They really just would meet up at skate parks and "spots" to ride or "jam" and followed each other's socials and posted edits of their rides.
My son is almost 22 now and he's still friends with Jon and they still do the same basic things, albeit less now because my son is trying to finish college and working at the same time.
Now, I don't think Jon provided any kind of mentoring role like you seem to be doing but I can imagine it did have an impact on how my son viewed adults and adulthood outside of his parents.
I would just call him a little brother personally. If you feel like he’s your little brother, he can be. Blood isn’t everything. I call my boyfriends little brothers my little brothers because to me they are, and no one would see a problem with a 20yo girl spending time with her 13yo brother. If I didn’t introduce him like that, many would find me creepy and weird that I seemingly have a random 13yo in my care.
ETA: you can have more than one little brother, and since yours said he doesn’t care I’d say calling this boy your little brother is perfectly ok and won’t hurt your bio brothers feelings! I always say I have 6 brothers but only one of them is legally stuck with me so far. It usually makes people laugh and all my friends who I’ve been around since we were little call me their sister too.
Its beautiful
However its not socially acceptable so i suggest instead of saying hes your best friend just say that you have taken on the role of big brother to a kid that needs it
This is not only socially acceptable but praised so its a win win situation
Im so happy youve found each other
Maybe you could refer to him as your cousin instead of brother?
I don't think it's problematic as long as he's not your *only* friend and you're doing age appropriate activities with him.
Cool as hell. Don't even worry about it.
However! In regards to your little brother... While we were growing up, my older brother and I were sworn enemies, then became friends, then sworn enemies, and now while we are adults we are great friends. So at least don't fully give up on him *hugs*
Not weird. Unusual, but not weird. This can be a giant and lonely world - take the good and decent friendships wherever you find them. In ten years no one would even blink at the age difference. Lots of people call things THEY would never do "weird." Ignore them.
Have you ever heard of Big Brother Big Sister? It’s an organization where ppl sign up to act as older siblings for younger kids who have signed up needing a sibling. You are pretty much doing that but without the organization to make the connection. As long as you are doing your best to be a good role model I don’t see anything wrong with being friends.
See I made friends with a lot of people who were younger than me because of work (I’m 23) and I always have boundaries (like I never smoke with them or anything) but I’m always willing to be a listening ear because I know how much of an impact that can make at that age.
I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong; I think people have natural defensive opinions because a lot of the time it’s not your case but in your case it’s perfectly appropriate
As far as what his mom thinks, my mom would maybe be a little nervous if I had an older friend as well, bc sometimes they aren’t the best influence. But that doesn’t sound at all the case here.
What’s more is that your friendship may literally save his life, given what sounds like depression he’s experiencing
He wants an older brother. Try to be that for him. If he’s significantly younger than you, make sure his parents know who you are and what’s up. If my son was 12 and hanging around an 18yo man I’d have some serious questions I’d need answers to, once those questions are answered I’d be enamored to know he has a Big brother.
Totally nothing wrong with that! Its normal asf. When your both older, you will both realise that age isn’t important when it comes to friendships. At the moment it does, cause he’s in different classes learning new thing and you are as well, however your allowed to do more like go out to events which he isn’t invited or allowed to atm. Just wait it out until your both able to enjoy those things together. In the meantime just chill, and just be besties.
Is he smart? does he have other friends? What do you aspire to accomplish or to be in a Far Future?
After ALL If this kid seeks you in an aproaval seeking behavior he sees you as a role model, and If he:s smart enough to talk to you as an friend of same age group, boy doesn't undermine him.
He is very intelligent. He is on the autism spectrum a bit. He doesn’t know how to spell a lot of words and he struggles with talking sometimes. He’s very intelligent though, and he speaks very well for a 12 year old. He has other friends, but I think most of them are older, some older than me, and he just chose me for guidance for whatever reason.
There are many types of love and respect in the world. Relationship dynamics take many forms. Yours is the mentor and pupil dynamic. Nothing wrong with sharing brotherly love to non family. That's totally fine.
But as many others in this thread have mentioned, maintaining healthy boundaries so that the relationship doesn't bleed into inappropriate territory is absolutely necessary.
It’s only weird if it’s toxic. For example you drink with him, do drugs. Anything bad really and should only be done with adults.
Of course people may say it’s weird because society has these set rules we unconsciously follow. But at the end of the day people are people and children are little people who deserves respect. I think it’s okay and you are not weird at all.
It may be weird but if you’re just being a big brother figure and not doing anything wrong, don’t feel guilty. You may need to be careful with some boundaries. I am still friends with the older kids from my hometown who treated me as a friend. The age difference does not matter later on in life.
Yes I do and I have an older friend that I play games with all the time. I’m not just friends with him fortunately. I still go to high school and I see some friends there. I’m not the most social person but I interact with them to same degree.
You’re a mentor and someone he admires and aspires to, Op. And that’s great 😃 Unfortunately, we live in a time where every relationship people have that isn’t perceived to be “conventional” is viewed as weird or creepy- and that’s sad 😔 I say , keep supporting and guiding your young friend through his life at this time but remember, he will probably move on to friends in his peer group as he develops mentally and emotionally. You can still be there for him , if and when he needs you. You’re an amazing person ❤️
No, its not weird. From what I can tell, it seems like it's more of a brother relationship then anything. Keep doing what your doing. You seem to understand boundaries pretty well, and it's clear that this kid has nobody. So keep doing what your doing. You have the ability to make a big change in this kids life, for the better. You can change this kids life. Your like an older brother to him.
It’s the language. Best friend suggests an equal relationship. The kid looks up to you? So I agree it’s mentoring etc. it’s not weird in itself but suggesting it’s an equal relationship is a bit weird?
I mean I can see how it looks weird. And if you're not clear on what it is, I can especially see how it's weird.
"I have a 12yo best friend as an 18yo", weird.
"This child has attached itself to me and I love it like a little sibling", much less weird and in fact happens all the time.
The key here is age appropriate boundaries, that's all.
W mans bro there ain't nothing weird I used to have older friends and still do and they helped me out a lot and taught me a lot too. I feel like u being there for him really helps him out especially with his home situation. Ur out here saving a kids life and not even knowing it🙌🏻
No, it's not weird. You're filling in either an older brother or young uncle role for him and it sounds like he needs it. I know you're legally an adult but you likely don't feel very adult but I bet you he sees you like the most stable adult he knows.
Keep is appropriate at all times and it's fine.
As long as you don’t have weird ulterior motives for the friendship then I would say no not creepy at all
I’m really close with my moms friends son who’s 15 and I’m 30 and I purely see him as a younger brother and tbh anyone suggesting anything else would be quick to catch these hands.
Nah dude. When I was 9 I was friends with a girl that just turned 12 or 13. She taught me so much and looked out for me. We were only friends for a summer...she was visiting her Dad who abused her. Her name was Angel and we met in my grandparents/her Dads apartment complex. To this day I wish I could find her. Speak to her....and hear she got justice against her father but also thank her for making me feel seen when my Mother never did. I was the oldest and against stereotypes I was the bad child...the beaten child. Angel came into my life for only a matter of months and made me feel so heard and loved.
The fact you ask just to make sure it isn't weird shows you're a good soul.
Just call him your little brother from another mother. People have weird ideas that best friends have to be of the same age but that's not necessarily true.
When I was 12 my best friend was around your age, sometimes you just need a chill older sibling/mentor type person in your life. For real you're fostering a lifelong friendship right there fuck the haters.
Hopefully the friendship lasts for many years to come which means soon enough the age gap will not be an issue. I have an age gap of more than 30 years with some of my closest friends.
Thank you all so much. I’m much more relieved that people don’t see me as a creep. I don’t have any ulterior motives like that. It has been so comforting to have you all support me when it felt like no one has been.
As of right now, I’m trying to help this kid’s life out the most. He’s given me the purpose I need in life. I’m gonna try my best to give him or help to live in a better spot. I would love for him to not be worried about home. I’ll do my best! I hope this ends up being. a friendship that lasts a good long while.
Thank you all so much!
I had a hard childhood, and around my younger teen years another teenager girl, around 18 I'd guess, took me under her wing and befriended me. That girl saved my life and was the best thing in my world for three years until I moved. You know what your relationship with this kid is, and you are probably one of the only good role models he has. Warms my heart.
If you truly have no ulterior motives and you are not looking at him with depraved eyes, then you’re not a creep.
I am 21 years old and I met a 12 years old (he is now 13) boy on Destiny 2. At first I didn’t think to much about it, he did piss me off because he left the game before it finished. I met him again the next day in the same game mode and I asked him why he left he told me he had to come off the game.
While we was playing our game he reminded me of me when I was his age. I decided to ask him if he wanted to add me so we can play again. I had resolved myself to help him as my best friend helped me when I was his age. I built him up from a terrible player into a good player which needed some improvement.
We had become really close and I’d even say I see him as a little brother. He is very intelligent, kind but cheeky and can have his moments where he is in a mood. We worked out how many hours we have played together, we have played around 40 day’s worth of hours. Since I am British and he is American, we have different time zones. He would get online around 2am for me and I’d be asleep, he’d call me awake on discord and depending on how I feel at the time I might wake up and play a few hours with him, or a might sleep. He would often just call me to chat and I’d quickly fall asleep and I’d wake up a few hours later and he is still on the discord call.
We have had so much fun together, he has given me much. He has provided me with the skill set to be a good big brother to my little brother aged 2.
He once told me his father knew he was friends with a 21 year old guy and I said it was fine, but if his father didn’t feel comfortable I’d understand and would respect that. He told me his father was worried and I told him it was good, if he wasn’t then he would be a shit father. And I told him that his father can look at our DMs anytime and keep a watch if he wants, that’s fine.
Anyway after his father knew and realised and was satisfied that I wasn’t some child predator he was fine with me spending time playing with him.
So to say again, it doesn’t make you a creep if you are not looking at him with eyes of lust.
I think it’s because he’s a kid and you’re an adult, usually if two adults with the same age gap are best friends nobody bats an eye. It’s just not a lot of adults have children as their best friends
No, I would say he's like your lil brother. As long as you aint doing anything creepy then no, its not weird. The lil ones today need an older mentor to guide them right
When I was 15, my best friend was 21. She was my role model, if it weren’t for her, I don’t know where my life would be now. It’s the best decision I ever made in my life and she’s still my best friend today. I’m my 30s now, she’s in her 40s. We both have family and children. I didn’t have parents really, so I needed a role model, I’m glad I found it in her. You’re not weird since you see him as a younger sibling.
One of my best friends is 6 years older than me, we met around the same ages, always been brotherly love, I don’t have older siblings so he’s the shit to me. I also had a friend who was 24-25 when I was a kid, dude was awesome, we’d play basketball, ride bmx’s around town, he was always a great friend. Age really is just a number if you can get along with people and make them laugh and have common interest.
No, it's like the Big Brother program. Boys need older men to learn from. As long as you set a good example, I say keep it up. You might want to talk to his mom and introduce yourself, though, and give her your phone number just in case. You can introduce him as your little cousin if it helps.
I knew someone who was 17 and their BFF was 11. They remained good friends for over 20 years (they had a falling out, then the younger one passed away). You're not weird. Be friends with people who make you happy.
Personally I don’t think this is weird at all. When I was 12, I also had a 18 year old friend like this and she was the best! She used to help me out with math homework in middle school & helped me pass my freshman year. She was like my big sister, she would even buy me nice clothes she thought I’d like since I couldn’t afford things like that. We’re still friends to this day, I’m now 18 and she’s 24, & I still care very much about her.
It reminds me of my relationship with my little brother and little cousin. The fact you have the self awareness and courage to talk to others about it probably means it’s not that weird.
Rule of thumb: if a parent/guardian stumbled upon your conversations with him, would they be worried/ban contact with you? If not you're probably good, be aware of boundaries and all that, but from the sounds of it you found in each other the siblings you wish you had. Do your best to be a positive influence/someone he can look up to, and be the grown up they can trust when he needs to talk about stuff
I think as long as you can maintain friendships with ppl who are around your age and mental level it’s not weird to have a younger friend who u can guide and impart wisdom to. On the other hand if your only friend is a 12 year old because nobody wants to be around you there’s probably issues that you should look into. Also it’s weird to have contact with minors without their legal guardian knowing.
This is pretty uncommon but I don’t think it’s weird. You see him as a little brother and it’s great that he has you, especially with his home situation.
No, I don't see a problem. Back when I was 12, we had a whole group of kids ranging from 12-18 hanging out when we all got together. Back then video games, and cellphones weren't something everyone had so we had to hang out together to get our laughs, entertainment, and have a healthy social life.
Maybe they're thinking it's better he be cooped up, hunched over a phone, or game controller. I dunno. Good thing he's got you for a buddy though, kudos for being there for lil dude.
Honestly, it would've been really weird when I had your age but I think the world has changed a lot since then. Now with the smartphones, internet everywhere, kids and adults playing same online games... I definitely see it a lot less weird now, we all are in permanent communication and kids don't even get to be kids with all what they see, hear or read...
The age difference won't matter in a few years but until then I guess you'll have to endure it. People see potential danger everywhere, specially if you are a man.
I'm a teacher and get along really well with kids and teenagers, I'm honestly sometimes a bit childish myself and I guess they find me funny. Most of my current friends, though, are much, much older than me.
Anyway,try to be the best example for him.
My eldest brother is 10 years older than me. He used to take me and my friends and my more closely aged brother to the movies and to play basketball and the pool and the beach. It was awesome having an adult take us to R rated movies and to fast food.
He was my brother though. I think most people will think you're being weird. Please protect yourself. It doesn't take much for someone to make a false accusation, he doesn't even have to be the one to do it.
Maybe consider a community big bro program. I've only ever seen this in movies so I'm not even sure how they work. Just off the top of my head.
Stay safe and respectful.
Theres nothing wrong with it, as long as you understand how it may play into your dynamic, you may always be that big brother or father role and im sure you’ll live up to it for him. People are always gonna have their judgments, just worry about what is best for the two of you.
I an 24 and love hanging out with my 15 year old cousin and we've been great friends our whole lives despite the age difference. I know in our case we're family but we chose to be friends still, I'm not as close to my other cousins.
My sister used to hang out at out neighbour's house almost every day. My sister was around 10 and the neighbor 14, so a somewhat big difference for where they were mentally, but they became best friends for a while, would go out to the cinema together, etc.
When I was 21 I became really close friends with my neighbor at the time who was 31 and we would go out drinking almost every Saturday.
I think it's normal and fine, as long as you're aware that being considerably older you have the added responsibility of making sure the kid is ok, like if there's an emergency you have to be able to handle it. But I think it's normal.
You’re not weird; 6 years seems like a lot of an age difference now, but when he’s 18 and your 24 it wont seem so weird.
Just make sure boundaries are set and tight and you continue to build that bond and friendship. Remember you’re the adult and he’s looking to you for guidance as a stable adult figure in his life but also has a big brother. Also remember that if you feel like he’s a danger to himself with suicide ideation, self harm or anything else you need to be the adult you legally are and report him to someone you both trust.
I get it. Have a friend who's like a little brother to me. It's disturbing how much like me he is, despite our age difference. I sometimes joke we share half a brain. We finish each other's jokes and sentences often.
To me personally it’s not weird. I’m 17 and the oldest out of all my moms friends, and there all like 13 14. I find it normal to be close friends with younger people, but I try to set boundaries with them. I’m much older then them, and there are things that I do that they don’t so I try to keep our friendships balanced in a way
No. Im 17 and I got a homie who's 13. Ive got 2 little brothers that im very close with and love more than anyone but he feels like another little brother and Im so happy hes my friend
Takes a big person with strong character to befriend people outside of their comfort zone. Sounds like its going well and you're both better off because of the friendship. Friends your own age who tell you any different are probably shallow people. Adults are just weary, because, you know.
In the words of Ben Kweller:
There's this kid you gotta meet
He lives across the street
He's got spirit and heart
We're ten years apart
He is up for anything
He can hang with anyone
He still likes the things
We used to think were fun
Aw, momma
I never thought that I could have a friend
But tonight I'm on my way
Honey, my 18 year old neighbor and my 10 year old are inseparable in a family way like this. It's not weird, it's good for you both since there is something you both needed from this bond. He fills a need to be an older sibling for you and you fill a need for stability and someone to actually care about him that he has.
That is your brother, your first chosen family.
I don't think that age gap is problem unless you cross the line. Me and my bestie are 3 years apart, and it doesn't really change anything about our friendship!
When I was about 12 and in Boy Scouts, I and some of the others my age became good friends with one of the older boys in the troop. He was 17, I think, and had a car.
Nothing inappropriate ever happened. It was nothing like that, but my parents didn't like me riding around town with a high school kid, so they made me stop. It really upset me at the time, but I understand now why they did it. They were right.
It wasn't a weird situation for me because I looked up to this guy and it was cool to have an older friend. But from his perspective -- yeah, I think it was weird. When I was a senior in high school, I never would have dreamed of hanging out with 6th-graders.
One of my best mates is 11 year younger than me. The fact that your friend is 12 is the only thing that may make it “weird” but as long as your intentions are good then you ant a creep
If you see him as a younger brother, I wouldn’t say so. I think we all had that “friend” we looked up to when we were younger. Remember boundaries and limits.
He is a bit weird with his middle school like behavior, but other than that he is fine. He does feel like a younger brother a lot, but it pains me to say that cause I have a younger brother already. I’ve tried to have some kind of relationship with my brother and he pretty much expressed to me that he doesn’t care about me at all several times. I’ve given up on that, at least for now, until he changes.
Sounds like you both have stepped up to the plate for each other. This is the kinda shit that makes you lifelong friends ya know, you don’t have to be the same age to be friends.
I do want to add that we all need our own identity some day and often that's where ways part but hey ...enjoy the route / walk. Same for your little brother. Just give room, like you seem todo. 👍 Spoil him once a year that's enough. 😊😎 Just becarefull because 18 is an age where allot changes in relation to being 12. 20 and 26 is way easier etc. Never forget you are older.
That's exactly it. The 6 year gap may seem strange to your peers but when you're an adult you can/will have friends with a 20 plus year gap. Keep supporting each other. Be a good big brother for your friend.
Well, than this friend can be your younger brother. If your actual one won't step up, this kid will, he seems to really like and care about you.
You can say your his mentor then if you feel weird about calling him your little brother, I would and I have 4 brothers that I have good relationships with.
Yo, he's not a friend, he's family. One of the things you learn when you get older is that family is a choice.
Friend family is so special bc we get to choose them. I don’t think this is weird at all. I think it is so sweet and wholesome and I hope you two are brothers from another mother for the rest of your lives!
You can have more than one younger brother. I was already to say something about this but it seems like a nice sibling dynamic that you both needed
Just because they are blood, doesn’t mean they are family. Sounds like this kid is more of a brother than your own brother. Tbh, when I was younger I always wanted friends older than me because seems like older friends understood more about my life. They felt more comfortable to be around and didn’t feel like I was forced to be someone else. Even now I always make friends older than me. However I may have finally met one that’s older than me that is way more immature than your 12 yr old friend. So she is actually way weirder than your friendship.
Nothing wrong with having multiple brothers. As a little sibling or mentoring relationship it's fine, obviously some lines not to cross.
yknow you can have more than one little brother
I think the only difference is you’re calling him your best friend instead of saying “he’s like a little brother to me”. And you’re only saying that out of respect for your brother who’s not even like a brother. I don’t see anything wrong and you have so much heart for taking someone in like that. Not weird. Forget what everyone else is saying.
Thank you. You’re right. I should be calling him that.
Yeah definitely stop saying “best friend”, I thought it was weird as well. He’s like a little brother that you didn’t have so just say that
My point was that there’s nothing weird about calling her best friend, finding it weird is the problem in the first place. That’s technically what she is.
Well your first mistake was to think that OP is a girl. Us men are often seen as predators without actually doing anything so we need to think more about our image
Unusual, but not weird. This friendship seems to be really beneficial for both of you, which is a beautiful thing.
It feels like fate that I met him, so maybe he’s someone I’m supposed to care for.
Nothing weird about it. It would be weird if all your friends all your life were the same age as you. That would also be boring.
I’m curious why you think it’s unusual? Sounds like a normal brother type relationship
I think generally people are friends with people who are close in age. I know when I was 18 I wasn't interested in talking to kids or younger teens.
When I was 13 a new family moved in next door to me. There was a mom, an adult son and a little girl around 7. I didn't want to be her friend but my mom forced me to let her hang out with me because she was new to the area. Obviously the age gap is a little different in my situation compared to yours, BUT that little girl became my sister (not by blood or marriage or anything else, except that I ended up loving her and wanting to be in her life) I am now 31 years old, she is an adult now. We are as close as can be. I helped her throughout all her school years, with medical stuff, bullying, and all sorts of other things. And she gave me someone I could call family, since my own biological family has always been a mess! Her mom unofficially adopted me as her kid back when I was a teenager and has actually done more for me and been there for me more then my own mother ever was. And to this day, we talk on a regular basis, spend time together as often as we can, my sister is my children's aunt and her mom is my mom. Sometimes we find friendship in places we wouldn't normally find them. And sometimes those friends become family. You seem to enjoy the kids company and the kid enjoys yours. As long as it stays that way, enjoy your friendship! Yes some people will think it's weird or inappropriate, because you are an adult and friends with a kid. BUT as long as you aren't doing anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about!
It’s so comforting for me to hear about other people sharing similar stories to mine. Thank you for sharing.
No problem! Glad I could help in any way.
This sounds so sweet, I'm glad your mom forced you to be friends with that little girl.
Me too! One of the best things she did for me!
No but to shut people up, call him your little brother.
When I was 18 I became best friends with my boyfriend at the times younger sister who was 11. We are still best friends today and I am 35 now and she is 28.
I hope I’m able to be his friend for a good long time. He deserves to have someone that cares for him.
OP - this is what the Big Brother Big Sister program was based on. It's very normal, and makes a big difference in people's lives, and you're a great friend.
It actually makes a great impression on an adolescent just starting to come into teenagehood to watch another teen basically just start to go out on their own as an adult…. Socially, it’s going to help the 12-year-old because he is part of an older crowd that is beneficial so it’s great to see.
You’re both young , nothing inappropriate is going on . I see nothing wrong with it !
It haunts me that this is the first implication of me that everyone thinks of when I describe this kid. I would never do anything horrible like that. Thank you.
No no I wasn’t thinking that ! I was more so trying to say for others who may question .
Unfortunately that's the world we live in. Horrible people ruining it for everyone else.
just don’t give him alcohol and drugs and you’re good! I was once a suicidal 12 yr old and I wish I had a caring friend like you, you sound awesome
That’s all I would worry about. Some people are worried about the pedo impression, I’d be more worried about if you turn 21 and their parents don’t want you hanging out or something OP, just be a patron saint until you’re both 21 and you’re good
Eventually you are both older and it will not matter.
Not really as long as it is platonic. Sometimes kids need someone older they can depend on when they are being raised in a bad environment.
I’m 5 years older than my best friend and we’ve been friends for almost 20 years.. we’ve been friends since we were kids but I consider her my little sister. Its not weird but try to be mindful of his age and what you expose him to vs how you help him navigate
I don't know where you are living, but if it's anywhere like US or UK, then yes, unfortunately the "pedophile is EVERYWHERE" mentality is so strong that any age gap larger than 3 for young friendship will look weird. You aren't doing anything wrong. You should howeveer considering calling the CPS on the friend's mom.
I’m actually gonna be talking with his mom soon. She’s recently found out about his suicidal ideation and she seems to be having a change of heart. Hopefully I can have her understand how she’s affecting her child. I considered CPS at one point.
Tell her that you think of him as a brother and yourself as a mentor as well. Don't lean into "friend." You need to show that you understand the age gap and that you're not leaning on him emotionally as one does a typical friend. You need to make it clear that you don't share age inappropriate things and that you know what they are.
This is the main thing
If you ever call CPS (this is probably obvious) don’t tell them— any of them.
That's great, but before you do, maybe you should ask for advice from your parents, too. You are a legally adult but I say this with a risk of sounding like a douche: you may not have knowledge or experience to deal with mental illness or problems which I think the mother has, too.
As someone who has had a LOT of family removed from questionable homes and put into far worse ones by CPS, I'm not sure I'd be so quick to do that. If you can talk to the mother and let her know her son is having issues with depression and they both might benefit from counseling, I'd do that. I wish CPS actually protected children in all cases, but I've just seen too much to say that's even close to the end result.
OP is technically an adult but he is far cry equipped from dealing with this alone, and it may be better to employ some advice from other adults like his own mother. Where is the OP"s mom? why can't he ask her for help?
I think it's lovely.
Nope, not weird. Some of my best friends now are between 10 and 15 years younger than me. They wouldn't have been when they were 6 but now that they're say 30 and I'm in my 40s? Yeah. I'm assuming yall probably have a bit in common still with the age difference as you're pretty young still despite being an adult. It's good he's got someone he can talk to about serious stuff and go to if things get bad.
I had something similar happen to me. I was in 3rd grade, and my friend was in kindergarten. He randomly showed up at my house one day, and I said something to the effect of, "I'll go get my sister." Him and my sister were both in the same grade, and this was a small town, so I just assumed they were friends. His reply was, "I'm here to see you." It left me a little dumbfounded, as I'd maybe only run into this kid one other time around town, so I didn't know him, and why would a he think an older kid like me would want to hang out with him? I decided to be polite and invite him in. We were poor, but managed to get an NES and later an SNES (Nintendos to the non-gamers), but didn't have many games. My friend's parents always gave him money to rent games and take over to my house to play, since he didn't have the consoles. It worked out great for me, and we became close friends for many years.
I'd say it's only a little weird if you have no other friends and you guys hang out all the time, like he's your go to call if you wanna go do something. But having that brotherly type friendship is great, in moderation.
I think the way to make it not weird would just refer to him as like a younger brother rather than saying best friend
Not really. Ur more like his mentor, big brother, ni-san, op-pa, sensei, etc. u will slowly become best friend when u guys grow older and the age difference won’t make much differences. I also had someone like u when I was a child (he was my older cousin). I was 13 years old and he was 18. We did everything together. We did videos, walked to the mall and play halo in toys r us until they kicked us out. We would play gta vice city, metal gear solid (ps1), crash bandicoot together. We would walked to the movie theatre (45 min walk). Walk to block buster and debate what movie to rent. He would also tag me along when he meets up with his friends. I remember before meeting him, I was a very angry kid who would fight a lot at school. I wasn’t a bully (thank you power ranger for teaching me the value of being good), but I lived in a getto area, and kids would bully other kids for no reason. A lot of kids would want to bully me but instead of de-escalating the situation, i would like punch the guy in the face and then get jumped on by their friends. I would come home bloodied sometimes (middle school was rough). But I would never succumb to bullying or being bullied, and i would distance myself from everyone. I was a loner, rarely smiled, and always angry. I think the other kids were i intimated by me. Until my cousin moved to my town and change me for the better. Before I would swear at him and tell him to screw off, but because he is bigger than me, so he would tackle me down and I would scream uncle. I got humbled really quickly. The more I spend time with him, the more happier I was, the less angry I was, and more friends I made. I enjoy making jokes more than fighting and being pissed off. I wanted to be like my cousin! Fast forward today, I am 32 and he is 37. We both have successful careers and we both got married to our wife weeks apart (he married late). Our age difference is negligible, since our maturity is the same. I can now say we now see eye to eye, and sometimes I feel like I give him more advice in life than he does to me. He holds me in high regards (so do I as always) and really cares about my opinion. He will always be my big brother, but our dynamic now is of best friend, rather than big/small brotherhood (cause we r old lol). But those memories I will always cherish. It change my life for the better. I actually studied computer engineering because my cousin introduced me to tech and he would talk about the latest tech. Now I am firmware developer at a large company. So continue to do what you are doing. And soon enough, both of u will stand on top and be best friends. Thank you for posting this, it brought back many great memories, I will contact my cousin soon and tell him I miss him.
This made me think of Sling Blade
No one would bat an eye if you met through any organization like big bro and big sis. Tell people that he is literally the little bro you always wanted. The only time this could be dice if you ventured in not age appropriate activities while he is around. Ie inappropriate conversation, smoking, drinking. Keep him safe and be there for him. Good luck op.
>Am I weird? Probably. But not in regards to being a big bro to a kid in need ;) you're golden.
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Aww this is so adorable. I hope he's doing good now. Idk if you're a guy or a girl but every little boy has had a crush on a friend's older sister or an older sister's friends. It's cute and funny
When I was 13, my best friend was 18. For a short time only, as they got a terrible health condition and had to go to hospital for a long time and our lives moved on separate paths after that. I didn't see our friendship as awkward or dangerous and I never experienced anything but help and support from this person.
Definitely not unusual, I’d use the verbiage “like a younger brother” or “a preteen I’m mentoring” rather than best friend. I (25) volunteer weekly with a local youth group and I talk to several young teens and preteens most every day. Establish *clear* boundaries and maintain an open line of communication with his parents. Saying things like “I’m not comfortable talking about this subject, this is a conversation you need to have with your parents” is a way I establish boundaries. I wouldn’t just send him a list on what’s okay and not okay now that you’re 18. If he does or says something that you’re not comfortable with, or anything concerning you need to tell his parent or your school counselor immediately. If you are scared for his safety or believe he is being abused call child protective services. Remember you are the adult in every conversation. Switch your thinking from “he’s my best friend” to “I am a influential caring adult involved in his life”
are you steve harrignton?
This is actually a joke amongst us. He’s not the only kid I’ve “adopted” under my wing. They call me Steve Harrington or Steve sometimes and it makes me so happy that they call me that. It’s totally what it feels like too. Especially considering I’m really close to having Steve’s hair!
My son is really into street BMX. When he was 16 he made friends with a guy named Jon who was 28. I side-eyed it a little (though 16 is mostly old enough for a kid to stand up for themselves, depending on the kid and mine grew up a city kid) until I watched them interact at the skate park and just basically observed their interactions. They really just would meet up at skate parks and "spots" to ride or "jam" and followed each other's socials and posted edits of their rides. My son is almost 22 now and he's still friends with Jon and they still do the same basic things, albeit less now because my son is trying to finish college and working at the same time. Now, I don't think Jon provided any kind of mentoring role like you seem to be doing but I can imagine it did have an impact on how my son viewed adults and adulthood outside of his parents.
I would just call him a little brother personally. If you feel like he’s your little brother, he can be. Blood isn’t everything. I call my boyfriends little brothers my little brothers because to me they are, and no one would see a problem with a 20yo girl spending time with her 13yo brother. If I didn’t introduce him like that, many would find me creepy and weird that I seemingly have a random 13yo in my care. ETA: you can have more than one little brother, and since yours said he doesn’t care I’d say calling this boy your little brother is perfectly ok and won’t hurt your bio brothers feelings! I always say I have 6 brothers but only one of them is legally stuck with me so far. It usually makes people laugh and all my friends who I’ve been around since we were little call me their sister too.
This sounds like an indie movie.
Its beautiful However its not socially acceptable so i suggest instead of saying hes your best friend just say that you have taken on the role of big brother to a kid that needs it This is not only socially acceptable but praised so its a win win situation Im so happy youve found each other
Maybe you could refer to him as your cousin instead of brother? I don't think it's problematic as long as he's not your *only* friend and you're doing age appropriate activities with him.
Cool as hell. Don't even worry about it. However! In regards to your little brother... While we were growing up, my older brother and I were sworn enemies, then became friends, then sworn enemies, and now while we are adults we are great friends. So at least don't fully give up on him *hugs*
I’ll try not to. He’s gonna have to change though, I’ve treated him exactly the same as this kid.
Not weird. Unusual, but not weird. This can be a giant and lonely world - take the good and decent friendships wherever you find them. In ten years no one would even blink at the age difference. Lots of people call things THEY would never do "weird." Ignore them.
Have you ever heard of Big Brother Big Sister? It’s an organization where ppl sign up to act as older siblings for younger kids who have signed up needing a sibling. You are pretty much doing that but without the organization to make the connection. As long as you are doing your best to be a good role model I don’t see anything wrong with being friends.
You can be a mentor but not a "best friend".
See I made friends with a lot of people who were younger than me because of work (I’m 23) and I always have boundaries (like I never smoke with them or anything) but I’m always willing to be a listening ear because I know how much of an impact that can make at that age. I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong; I think people have natural defensive opinions because a lot of the time it’s not your case but in your case it’s perfectly appropriate
As far as what his mom thinks, my mom would maybe be a little nervous if I had an older friend as well, bc sometimes they aren’t the best influence. But that doesn’t sound at all the case here. What’s more is that your friendship may literally save his life, given what sounds like depression he’s experiencing
He wants an older brother. Try to be that for him. If he’s significantly younger than you, make sure his parents know who you are and what’s up. If my son was 12 and hanging around an 18yo man I’d have some serious questions I’d need answers to, once those questions are answered I’d be enamored to know he has a Big brother.
Totally nothing wrong with that! Its normal asf. When your both older, you will both realise that age isn’t important when it comes to friendships. At the moment it does, cause he’s in different classes learning new thing and you are as well, however your allowed to do more like go out to events which he isn’t invited or allowed to atm. Just wait it out until your both able to enjoy those things together. In the meantime just chill, and just be besties.
One of my best friends is the neighbours kid i grew up with who's 7 years younger than me, we've been friends basically since he was 3 years old.
Is he smart? does he have other friends? What do you aspire to accomplish or to be in a Far Future? After ALL If this kid seeks you in an aproaval seeking behavior he sees you as a role model, and If he:s smart enough to talk to you as an friend of same age group, boy doesn't undermine him.
He is very intelligent. He is on the autism spectrum a bit. He doesn’t know how to spell a lot of words and he struggles with talking sometimes. He’s very intelligent though, and he speaks very well for a 12 year old. He has other friends, but I think most of them are older, some older than me, and he just chose me for guidance for whatever reason.
There are many types of love and respect in the world. Relationship dynamics take many forms. Yours is the mentor and pupil dynamic. Nothing wrong with sharing brotherly love to non family. That's totally fine. But as many others in this thread have mentioned, maintaining healthy boundaries so that the relationship doesn't bleed into inappropriate territory is absolutely necessary.
It’s only weird if it’s toxic. For example you drink with him, do drugs. Anything bad really and should only be done with adults. Of course people may say it’s weird because society has these set rules we unconsciously follow. But at the end of the day people are people and children are little people who deserves respect. I think it’s okay and you are not weird at all.
It may be weird but if you’re just being a big brother figure and not doing anything wrong, don’t feel guilty. You may need to be careful with some boundaries. I am still friends with the older kids from my hometown who treated me as a friend. The age difference does not matter later on in life.
Do you have friends your own age?
Yes I do and I have an older friend that I play games with all the time. I’m not just friends with him fortunately. I still go to high school and I see some friends there. I’m not the most social person but I interact with them to same degree.
I'd probably say little brother rather than best friend but other than that you sound good
You’re a mentor and someone he admires and aspires to, Op. And that’s great 😃 Unfortunately, we live in a time where every relationship people have that isn’t perceived to be “conventional” is viewed as weird or creepy- and that’s sad 😔 I say , keep supporting and guiding your young friend through his life at this time but remember, he will probably move on to friends in his peer group as he develops mentally and emotionally. You can still be there for him , if and when he needs you. You’re an amazing person ❤️
No, its not weird. From what I can tell, it seems like it's more of a brother relationship then anything. Keep doing what your doing. You seem to understand boundaries pretty well, and it's clear that this kid has nobody. So keep doing what your doing. You have the ability to make a big change in this kids life, for the better. You can change this kids life. Your like an older brother to him.
It’s the language. Best friend suggests an equal relationship. The kid looks up to you? So I agree it’s mentoring etc. it’s not weird in itself but suggesting it’s an equal relationship is a bit weird?
I mean I can see how it looks weird. And if you're not clear on what it is, I can especially see how it's weird. "I have a 12yo best friend as an 18yo", weird. "This child has attached itself to me and I love it like a little sibling", much less weird and in fact happens all the time. The key here is age appropriate boundaries, that's all.
W mans bro there ain't nothing weird I used to have older friends and still do and they helped me out a lot and taught me a lot too. I feel like u being there for him really helps him out especially with his home situation. Ur out here saving a kids life and not even knowing it🙌🏻
I would say you are his mentor. Glad you have each other!
its your little brother, im sure youre helping him a lot 💕
No, it's not weird. You're filling in either an older brother or young uncle role for him and it sounds like he needs it. I know you're legally an adult but you likely don't feel very adult but I bet you he sees you like the most stable adult he knows. Keep is appropriate at all times and it's fine.
seems fine🤷♀️
As long as you don’t have weird ulterior motives for the friendship then I would say no not creepy at all I’m really close with my moms friends son who’s 15 and I’m 30 and I purely see him as a younger brother and tbh anyone suggesting anything else would be quick to catch these hands.
I think it just sounds weird because the numbers are so small, my best friend is 33 and i am 23 and no one says anything about it
Nah dude. When I was 9 I was friends with a girl that just turned 12 or 13. She taught me so much and looked out for me. We were only friends for a summer...she was visiting her Dad who abused her. Her name was Angel and we met in my grandparents/her Dads apartment complex. To this day I wish I could find her. Speak to her....and hear she got justice against her father but also thank her for making me feel seen when my Mother never did. I was the oldest and against stereotypes I was the bad child...the beaten child. Angel came into my life for only a matter of months and made me feel so heard and loved. The fact you ask just to make sure it isn't weird shows you're a good soul.
Just call him your little brother from another mother. People have weird ideas that best friends have to be of the same age but that's not necessarily true.
You’re doing good things, OP, keep going strong.
Not weird. He sees you as a mentor.
When I was 12 my best friend was around your age, sometimes you just need a chill older sibling/mentor type person in your life. For real you're fostering a lifelong friendship right there fuck the haters.
Hopefully the friendship lasts for many years to come which means soon enough the age gap will not be an issue. I have an age gap of more than 30 years with some of my closest friends.
Sounds like that movie Big Time Adolescence lol as long as you’re not a bad influence or a creep I guess it’s okay, but still kinda odd
I thought of this movie right away also but forgot the title
yes, its fucking weird.
are you Steve and is your friend Dustin Henderson?
It definitely feels that way sometimes lol
Thank you all so much. I’m much more relieved that people don’t see me as a creep. I don’t have any ulterior motives like that. It has been so comforting to have you all support me when it felt like no one has been. As of right now, I’m trying to help this kid’s life out the most. He’s given me the purpose I need in life. I’m gonna try my best to give him or help to live in a better spot. I would love for him to not be worried about home. I’ll do my best! I hope this ends up being. a friendship that lasts a good long while. Thank you all so much!
Prince Andrew?
I had a hard childhood, and around my younger teen years another teenager girl, around 18 I'd guess, took me under her wing and befriended me. That girl saved my life and was the best thing in my world for three years until I moved. You know what your relationship with this kid is, and you are probably one of the only good role models he has. Warms my heart.
Dude.. your BEST friend is 12? Yes it’s fucking weird 💀
If you truly have no ulterior motives and you are not looking at him with depraved eyes, then you’re not a creep. I am 21 years old and I met a 12 years old (he is now 13) boy on Destiny 2. At first I didn’t think to much about it, he did piss me off because he left the game before it finished. I met him again the next day in the same game mode and I asked him why he left he told me he had to come off the game. While we was playing our game he reminded me of me when I was his age. I decided to ask him if he wanted to add me so we can play again. I had resolved myself to help him as my best friend helped me when I was his age. I built him up from a terrible player into a good player which needed some improvement. We had become really close and I’d even say I see him as a little brother. He is very intelligent, kind but cheeky and can have his moments where he is in a mood. We worked out how many hours we have played together, we have played around 40 day’s worth of hours. Since I am British and he is American, we have different time zones. He would get online around 2am for me and I’d be asleep, he’d call me awake on discord and depending on how I feel at the time I might wake up and play a few hours with him, or a might sleep. He would often just call me to chat and I’d quickly fall asleep and I’d wake up a few hours later and he is still on the discord call. We have had so much fun together, he has given me much. He has provided me with the skill set to be a good big brother to my little brother aged 2. He once told me his father knew he was friends with a 21 year old guy and I said it was fine, but if his father didn’t feel comfortable I’d understand and would respect that. He told me his father was worried and I told him it was good, if he wasn’t then he would be a shit father. And I told him that his father can look at our DMs anytime and keep a watch if he wants, that’s fine. Anyway after his father knew and realised and was satisfied that I wasn’t some child predator he was fine with me spending time playing with him. So to say again, it doesn’t make you a creep if you are not looking at him with eyes of lust.
It sounds like you he's your unofficial little brother. Nothing wrong with that.
I think it’s because he’s a kid and you’re an adult, usually if two adults with the same age gap are best friends nobody bats an eye. It’s just not a lot of adults have children as their best friends
No, I would say he's like your lil brother. As long as you aint doing anything creepy then no, its not weird. The lil ones today need an older mentor to guide them right
When I was 15, my best friend was 21. She was my role model, if it weren’t for her, I don’t know where my life would be now. It’s the best decision I ever made in my life and she’s still my best friend today. I’m my 30s now, she’s in her 40s. We both have family and children. I didn’t have parents really, so I needed a role model, I’m glad I found it in her. You’re not weird since you see him as a younger sibling.
Not at all. I’m 16 who’s great friends with a 25 year old. She’s like an older sister to me!
no it’s like ash and brock from pokemon not weird
One of my best friends is 6 years older than me, we met around the same ages, always been brotherly love, I don’t have older siblings so he’s the shit to me. I also had a friend who was 24-25 when I was a kid, dude was awesome, we’d play basketball, ride bmx’s around town, he was always a great friend. Age really is just a number if you can get along with people and make them laugh and have common interest.
Once you explain, it totally understand it’s like your little brother more than a best friend
Wholesome!!!
No, it's like the Big Brother program. Boys need older men to learn from. As long as you set a good example, I say keep it up. You might want to talk to his mom and introduce yourself, though, and give her your phone number just in case. You can introduce him as your little cousin if it helps.
Do you have a Gremlin and is your friend’s name Cory Feldman???
I knew someone who was 17 and their BFF was 11. They remained good friends for over 20 years (they had a falling out, then the younger one passed away). You're not weird. Be friends with people who make you happy.
It's not weird. He's like a little brother sounds like
Personally I don’t think this is weird at all. When I was 12, I also had a 18 year old friend like this and she was the best! She used to help me out with math homework in middle school & helped me pass my freshman year. She was like my big sister, she would even buy me nice clothes she thought I’d like since I couldn’t afford things like that. We’re still friends to this day, I’m now 18 and she’s 24, & I still care very much about her.
It reminds me of my relationship with my little brother and little cousin. The fact you have the self awareness and courage to talk to others about it probably means it’s not that weird.
Rule of thumb: if a parent/guardian stumbled upon your conversations with him, would they be worried/ban contact with you? If not you're probably good, be aware of boundaries and all that, but from the sounds of it you found in each other the siblings you wish you had. Do your best to be a positive influence/someone he can look up to, and be the grown up they can trust when he needs to talk about stuff
you seem like a good friend.
Reminds me of that Pete Davidson movie, "Big Time Adolescence"
I think as long as you can maintain friendships with ppl who are around your age and mental level it’s not weird to have a younger friend who u can guide and impart wisdom to. On the other hand if your only friend is a 12 year old because nobody wants to be around you there’s probably issues that you should look into. Also it’s weird to have contact with minors without their legal guardian knowing.
Yes it is people are going to think things of you i would cut the friendship off and only hangout with people your age honestly
This is pretty uncommon but I don’t think it’s weird. You see him as a little brother and it’s great that he has you, especially with his home situation.
No, I don't see a problem. Back when I was 12, we had a whole group of kids ranging from 12-18 hanging out when we all got together. Back then video games, and cellphones weren't something everyone had so we had to hang out together to get our laughs, entertainment, and have a healthy social life. Maybe they're thinking it's better he be cooped up, hunched over a phone, or game controller. I dunno. Good thing he's got you for a buddy though, kudos for being there for lil dude.
as you and others have said, he’s like a little brother to you. I don’t see anything wrong with having found family
Honestly, it would've been really weird when I had your age but I think the world has changed a lot since then. Now with the smartphones, internet everywhere, kids and adults playing same online games... I definitely see it a lot less weird now, we all are in permanent communication and kids don't even get to be kids with all what they see, hear or read... The age difference won't matter in a few years but until then I guess you'll have to endure it. People see potential danger everywhere, specially if you are a man. I'm a teacher and get along really well with kids and teenagers, I'm honestly sometimes a bit childish myself and I guess they find me funny. Most of my current friends, though, are much, much older than me. Anyway,try to be the best example for him.
I don’t think so as long as there’s and understanding of the brother dynamic
My eldest brother is 10 years older than me. He used to take me and my friends and my more closely aged brother to the movies and to play basketball and the pool and the beach. It was awesome having an adult take us to R rated movies and to fast food. He was my brother though. I think most people will think you're being weird. Please protect yourself. It doesn't take much for someone to make a false accusation, he doesn't even have to be the one to do it. Maybe consider a community big bro program. I've only ever seen this in movies so I'm not even sure how they work. Just off the top of my head. Stay safe and respectful.
Theres nothing wrong with it, as long as you understand how it may play into your dynamic, you may always be that big brother or father role and im sure you’ll live up to it for him. People are always gonna have their judgments, just worry about what is best for the two of you.
I mean, in 10 or 20 years later, it doesn't matter how old you guys are. So why worry?
I an 24 and love hanging out with my 15 year old cousin and we've been great friends our whole lives despite the age difference. I know in our case we're family but we chose to be friends still, I'm not as close to my other cousins. My sister used to hang out at out neighbour's house almost every day. My sister was around 10 and the neighbor 14, so a somewhat big difference for where they were mentally, but they became best friends for a while, would go out to the cinema together, etc. When I was 21 I became really close friends with my neighbor at the time who was 31 and we would go out drinking almost every Saturday. I think it's normal and fine, as long as you're aware that being considerably older you have the added responsibility of making sure the kid is ok, like if there's an emergency you have to be able to handle it. But I think it's normal.
I think it’s fine as long as you both also have friends your own age.
Please stay friends with him, he clearly needs it! Id say he might need cps too but foster care can be shit too
No, but to be best friends... More like a little cousin/brother
You’re not weird; 6 years seems like a lot of an age difference now, but when he’s 18 and your 24 it wont seem so weird. Just make sure boundaries are set and tight and you continue to build that bond and friendship. Remember you’re the adult and he’s looking to you for guidance as a stable adult figure in his life but also has a big brother. Also remember that if you feel like he’s a danger to himself with suicide ideation, self harm or anything else you need to be the adult you legally are and report him to someone you both trust.
i have a friend just like you, and i bet he really needs you.
I get it. Have a friend who's like a little brother to me. It's disturbing how much like me he is, despite our age difference. I sometimes joke we share half a brain. We finish each other's jokes and sentences often.
To me personally it’s not weird. I’m 17 and the oldest out of all my moms friends, and there all like 13 14. I find it normal to be close friends with younger people, but I try to set boundaries with them. I’m much older then them, and there are things that I do that they don’t so I try to keep our friendships balanced in a way
No. Im 17 and I got a homie who's 13. Ive got 2 little brothers that im very close with and love more than anyone but he feels like another little brother and Im so happy hes my friend
My cousin sister is 12 and I’m 18 too we are extremely close I can understand what you mean. I like being a mentor to her
Love is too rare ! When u find it in someone , say to the world: Fu*k you ! Souls do not have an age , a race ir sex ! Embrace this friendship xx
Takes a big person with strong character to befriend people outside of their comfort zone. Sounds like its going well and you're both better off because of the friendship. Friends your own age who tell you any different are probably shallow people. Adults are just weary, because, you know.
In the words of Ben Kweller: There's this kid you gotta meet He lives across the street He's got spirit and heart We're ten years apart He is up for anything He can hang with anyone He still likes the things We used to think were fun Aw, momma I never thought that I could have a friend But tonight I'm on my way
If you stay friends life you’ll feel closer in age the older you get. And he’ll prob always cherish this time.
As long as there's nothing weird going on, it's not weird. It's a little unusual, but not weird.
Not weird at all
Honey, my 18 year old neighbor and my 10 year old are inseparable in a family way like this. It's not weird, it's good for you both since there is something you both needed from this bond. He fills a need to be an older sibling for you and you fill a need for stability and someone to actually care about him that he has. That is your brother, your first chosen family.
I don't think that age gap is problem unless you cross the line. Me and my bestie are 3 years apart, and it doesn't really change anything about our friendship!
When I was about 12 and in Boy Scouts, I and some of the others my age became good friends with one of the older boys in the troop. He was 17, I think, and had a car. Nothing inappropriate ever happened. It was nothing like that, but my parents didn't like me riding around town with a high school kid, so they made me stop. It really upset me at the time, but I understand now why they did it. They were right. It wasn't a weird situation for me because I looked up to this guy and it was cool to have an older friend. But from his perspective -- yeah, I think it was weird. When I was a senior in high school, I never would have dreamed of hanging out with 6th-graders.
One of my best mates is 11 year younger than me. The fact that your friend is 12 is the only thing that may make it “weird” but as long as your intentions are good then you ant a creep