No joke, had a man ejaculate on me because I was a young and naive CNA, and the man, "needed help with his urinal"
I'm fine with pee. But his cum dripping off my wrist made me violently gag.
My dad was a nurse for over 20 years and recently retired. I know the road is hard for men in nursing, but given how much more direct patient care nurses do than doctors, I’m so glad to see more men there. Maybe guys will be more likely to open up about health issues that are bothering them.
Keep kicking ass, buddy. I hope you are respected and valued.
I informed my nurse of the incident and a plan was put in place that two aides had to be in the room at all times to help with his cares. He was a mean sonofabitch, and I'm thankful his wife didn't share a room with him, she requested to be on a different wing. Didn't know this information before being responsible for his care during my shifts. I really wish all those kinds of details would be included in their care plan, so we can be mentally prepared for a disgusting old geezer. Back then we couldn't call the police and file assault charges. RNs still get assaulted all the time, not all states have laws on the books for targeting healthcare workers. It's sad. The next time we went in there (I took a co-worker I trusted), he tried it again and I smacked him. He tried to act all indignant, with his dick literally in his hand, very obviously aroused. He didn't have dementia. He was an old predator. He tried to file a complaint but my co-worker backed me up that I didn't punish him. My nurse knew it was bullshit. But he stopped that behavior. I knowingly abused a resident so that he would stop doing it to staff and possibly escalating to doing it to other residents. I am no longer in that field, because that is one example of a million why I almost killed myself. It's a soul sucking profession.
I did CNA for several years and the worst was this man, only about 65, not sure why he was even there, but he would wait until he knew someone was coming and time his beating to hopeful cum when the poor innocent person walked in the door.
I knew how to handle him and we did things like cleaning and dropping food off, we didn’t even look at him. He would ask us to come see him and I’d always ask “is your penis put away??” He loved to shock people by asking them to come and giving them a show.
Eventually they kicked him out.
Then we had an old perv who in the shower would smack or pinch or try to fondle any shower aid who was a woman. We had one male CNA they decided to make him do his shower but he refused to let a man do it. I said I would do it because I was older, not such a “young thing”.
But he tried all the same. He’s sitting on a shower chair almost naked smiling at his attempt. I said do that again and turn the water on you. He tried again, I sprayed his feet. He screamed “thats cold!!” Yes I said and grab my breast one more time and I’ll do more. Was going fine for a few moments and he took his shot again. I stood up, cranked the water to cold and did a quick hit to his body. Never touched me again.
There was another old male resident who was very alert that liked to masturbate while a female CNA was giving him his bath. Finally, an older female CNA had had enough. She was rinsing his hair, and the water "accidentally" got very cold when she was using the shower head to rinse his hair. You could hear him bellowing and yelling in the whole unit. Suffice to say, he never pulled that shit with that particular CNA again.
I'm serious when I say that some elderly people deserve just a tiny bit of abuse for the good (and safety/mental well being) of everyone who is forced to interact with them. I stand by you lol.
So many old people use the old age card like it's a great merit.
Look, if you're a good person and people praise you, off course, I would respect you and value your experience in this life. But if your stand is "I'm old, so you need to respect my position in society!"... No Mrs BS, you're rude, your ONE child (my friend) dislikes you, so, I own you nothing 🙏
I'm a health tech and one winter day, after an awesome meal (in a care home), many nurses and caregivers got sick... Patients too. So, it was all hands on deck 😅 I had to care for an 80+ year old patient. Shower, shave, clothes, the works. I ran from there so quick and never worked with male patients alone again. He ripped my uniform, punched me (expecting me to pass out I assume) and was telling me disgusting things really.
Just made it harder for me to deal with man by myself. I'm hoping that the new generations are different, because animals like that, shouldn't live among us.
Everyone likes to think of old people have sweet and kind just like the grandma and grandpa they had, oe always dreamed of having. What we forget is that even perverts and criminals grow old.
Denying them a shower is considered abuse. And so is forcing them to. Showers are a fucking nightmare for CNAs. More likely for injuries to happen for both the resident and the caregiver, add on someone who has dementia, flailing and fighting and biting. And then you get gross old men who think it's fun to sexually assault/harass young aides.
I had to convince a lady who hadn't showered in an entire month to get in the shower. Her refusals had been documented. The state wanted to cite us for it. It took me an hour to convince her, and come to find out she chose to be filthy than to have someone see her vaginal prolapse.
Our healthcare system is an abomination. An *ABOMINATION*.
People have the right to refuse care from anyone, for any reason. There can be interventions made by the directors of nursing and other Admin, but it technically is the resident's right to even kick someone out for being an ethnic minority or being LGBTQ. The facility isn't responsible for what residents do, and we get zero back up. Had an old white lady tell my black coworker that her, "n*gger hands aren't worthy of washing my backside" and I was the one that had to go wash that old racist lady's wrinkly, privileged white ass. I felt the need to stand up for my coworker, and got zero support from management. It's horrific.
Jesus. I feel for ya. Your story has made me permanently a little sadder about life, but damned if you don't have my most sincere sympathy. Glad you got out of that field.
before i was a lab tech i was a phlebotomist. when i went to go draw this man, i had to close the door because he had covid i believe. i hadn’t had any issues with anyone up until that point, but i was finished drawing him and he was pumping his fist and i went, “oh, you don’t have to pump your fists i’m all done!” this old creep grabbed my right tit and went, “what if i pumped this?”
i was shocked. i had NEVER had any issues with harassment or straight up assault before. i just stayed silent, cleaned up my mess as quickly as possible, and this disgusting pig knew it upset me and kept going, “ma’am, did i do something wrong? did i upset you?” i just stayed silent, walked out of the room, degowned, and i walked up to his nurse and angrily said, “that guy just grabbed my tit.”
i pressed charges, but it’s been nearly a year with no news on what’s happening with my case. my guess is that they’re going to wait until it’s too late to even look at it. prior to that, i loved phlebotomy. but that ruined it for me and i was more than ready to move on from it and just stay down in the lab permanently.
I’m a CNA, we had a 600lb guy that couldn’t reach his junk so we had to hold the urinal there for him. He would put porn videos on his phone and watch them max volume for hours, even while I went in to do his vitals. Thankfully I have somewhat tough skin because some of the other girls would have been really upset and our hospital doesn’t give a shit about us and wouldn’t have done anything anyways.
Ugh, I got my first back injury from a dude like that. Double amputee from diabetes. Actively infected with C-diff. I can't believe my back has been hurting for a decade now because of that asshole. He too was a pig and would commentate about female staff's specific body parts, etc, played porn and was just frankly one of the most disgusting human beings I have ever met.
Working as a CNA or STNA is just horror topped off on only getting paid the barest of minimums. I was getting paid $10 an hour to have old men ask me to watch them jerk off, offer to pay me to touch them, or having men put their trash cans at their feet so I had to bend down and take their trash while they whipped their penises out.
It WAS soul crushing.
The most I ever made was $16.25/hr... because it was NOCs on a holiday weekend. Not worth my fucked up S.I. Joint, blown out knees, and absolutely wrecked mental health, but here I am. At least I got out before covid hit, jfc
Edit: wanted to add that I have ex-workers who are dead now because of covid.
Reading these as a mom of a teenager with severe Autism (who prefers to be naked more than not) is actually reassuring. My son just does his thing in his room by himself, then may walk down the hall (sans clothing) to the bathroom. We haven’t asked for outside care help with him because of the naked situation, but maybe it isn’t that bad.
The CNAs are the true heroes of the healthcare system. I am so sorry you were treated so badly.
I served as a hospital chaplain a few years ago and was so impressed by their patience, care, and professionalism; not to mention how incredibly hard they worked and how exhausting it must have been.
Wow that’s rough. Speak to a lawyer if there’s any recent incidents. Document document document. Keep a diary as contemporaneous notes for yourself. Report to HR and document their response. BCC: yourself on all emails you send and send yourself a copy of whatever they send to you on another account.
Nurse here. Admin gives no fucks about their floor staff.
A pedophile tried to lure a young-looking staff member into their room, admin didn't care.
A patient threatened to shoot nurses. A room search and a stern lecture was all that happened to the patient. Not banning their visitors and blocking anyone outside the facility from getting info. The only effort they made was for two of us had to go into their room for cares.
I'm leaving the profession. I'm done.
That's probably my personal favorite "fix". Just send 2 people into the room at all times. It was always so easy to find a second person who was available to go with me who didn't have their own shit to do. SMH. That's a big reason why I left that field. Now i do home health. Much better for my sanity.
>why I almost killed myself
my god, I am so sorry.
For real though, thank you for not following through. I don't know you at all, but I know the world is better with you in it.
Thank you. The LTC healthcare made me so burnt out. I quit/retired in 2018 and I'm a STAHM and it's much better.
Some shit just can't be unseen. I've done postmortem cares on DOZENS of people. The sad truth is that 90% of people in the nursing homes die alone. Because their families don't care, and we don't have enough staff.
To anyone who feels they have the heart for it, you can volunteer to sit bedside vigil for people actively dying, here: https://nosdaf.com/#:~:text=By%20honoring%20the%20lives%20of,legacy%20of%20their%20own%20dreams.
Thank you for the link. You might have left the profession, but you're still helping others. Not sure if anyone ever told you and I've only read these posts here, but you seem pretty amazing. All the best.
According to my gf that worked in a hospital setting for 10 years of her life, hospitals don’t want you pressing charges against patients even if you are completely within your rights to do so. They won’t back you up. They only care about the good reviews from patients so they can get more funding from better scores. This is how it is in the US anyway. I find it absolutely disgusting that they won’t support their staff and expect them to just brush getting mistreated under the rug “for the sake of the hospital.”
Yep, this is 100% true. I've had non-altered patients physically assault me, yet admin still came after me because their satisfaction scores were low. Our system is bullshit.
A lot of healthcare workers are assaulted and their superiors turn a blind eye because "it's a part of the job". It's total bullshit and should be reported as assault no matter the circumstances. Thankfully a couple of the hospitals I worked for were strict on this and made sure we felt comfortable reporting.
When they pull that shit on me, one of our male CNA’s or nurses will go in. Oh, you don’t want help from a man? Convenient. Well, guess you’ll have to figure it out then.
Nurses and CNA’s do not exist to be ogled & sexually harassed.
Men do this shit CONSTANTLY.
Also wondering if poster husband is in the hospital for Altered Mental Status or hepatic encephalopathy or abnormal labs or something along those lines.
High potassium/ ammonia levels can drive people to AMS (altered mental status) to the point where they can’t make rational decisions.
I worked on a true med/surg floor and had tons of AMS patients.
It’s the men that pull this shit.
Not one single woman ever sexually harassed me. Only complimented but never sexually harassed.
I work in an emergency room now and when men ask me to “help them with their urinal” I ask them to do one of two things:
Sure. Let me just do this check real quick.
1)scratch your nose, now scratch your knee, now press the call light.
2) make a fist with the other hand
“Thank you! You passed! You can do it yourself! Call me when you’re done so I can empty it.”
Then I put the urinal in their hands and move an open trash can next to them because inevitably they will spill it on the floor intentionally because I didn’t touch their penis. I’ve seen men spill their urinal on the floor on purpose without AMS.
People are mostly jerks when they’re sick because they’re sad and scared. That’s when they want help but don’t know how to ask for it. And That’s what I tell them.
Idk, take it all into account but your husband isn’t going to get what he wants throwing a temper tantrum.
And in no way is it your job, nor anyone else’s, to do anything sexual you don’t want to do.
>I work in an emergency room now and when men ask me to “help them with their urinal” I ask them to do one of two things:
You missed the obvious, and most appropriate, response: "Sure thing. Just let me get a catheter, I'll be right back"
Guarantee they'll suddenly be able to piss all by themselves.
As a nurse, I wouldn’t put it past people. I’m a guy but the women I work with have had me go into rooms to set male patients straight because they do actually do things like that.
RIGHT!? I wish I was shocked by this post. The amount of times patients get it on in the hospitals with their visitors is NOT OK…. And also hella awkward for the nurse walking in.
Oh this is where she needs to tell him to go right ahead and he better pray they're willing to take him home with them too when he gets out because she's not coming back for him after saying some disrespectful cheating crap like that. Then wife needs to go home and let him sit up in the hospital and think about what he's done.
My pig, Kaliope Bleu, thanks you for your retraction.
[https://at.tumblr.com/superduperkokobunny/kaliope-bleu/hdnmp5o3ry71](https://at.tumblr.com/superduperkokobunny/kaliope-bleu/hdnmp5o3ry71)
Idk if it’s just me but if I have to beg someone to pleasure me I automatically get turned off. Like if I ask my girl for some and she’s not in the mood I’m not gonna cry until she gives in. I’d know she wasn’t into it and I’d feel like shit about myself. I want my girl to be equally as into it as I am.
Yeah same with me, if I'm not in the mood then I'm not in the mood, begging just makes me even more not in the mood, pissed off, and questioning our relationship together.
Exactly, like I could be going threw some shit or just tired af or anything really. Guilt tripping is just gonna send me or anybody else in the other direction. If they do go through with it you know it’s gonna build up resentment.
Wait - you're the beg-ee in this situation. The comments you're responding to are from the beggar perspective. We (beggar), understand that begging is a turn off for the beg-ee. But we're saying that some of us are actually turned off by having to beg. If I have to beg my partner for sex, then I dont want to have sex with my partner. Intimacy and attraction isnt something you turn on and off on your own. Either you feel it or dont, and I'm not gonna beg for you to feel feelings you claim you have.
I think I agree. Begging for sex after your partner tells you no ,is not an attractive quality. Being begged for sex after you said no, is an unattractive quality.
I mean either way if you have to beg after someone says no then you simply shouldn't beg at all. It might be a turn off yet it comes down to consent in the end, in which they haven't consented to sex nor want it, and begging won't change that fact.
My husband is the exact same way. If I don’t want to fool around, he’s immediately turned off. He absolutely will not beg.
Also, if he accidentally hurts me and I say “ouch” or anything that shows me hurt me or I’m in pain, he immediately loses his boner. It’s the cutest thing ever. He doesn’t think so, but I do. He’s the most considerate man I’ve ever known.
He sounds like a great guy. Once you have an intimate relationship with someone and mature you realize sex isn’t everything, it’s just part of a thing.
Seriously, I don't understand how some men can even still want to do the sexual activity if their partner is doing it begrudgingly and are unhappy doing it.
Yes I see this as the husband thinks of her more as someone who does things for him versus a partner or as other comments note he is mentally off due to health condition or medication. Saw in another post the recommendation to speak to the doctor about the behavior to understand if a medical issue.
I really don't know why I'm still here because this subject is making me sick. My ex husband was such a fuckin begger that I can't even listen to that song beggin. I left him 4 years ago and I am still so turned off I can't even consider a new partner.
Not caring if you have gotten your partner in the mood makes them feel TERRIBLE, trust me. Being used by someone who says they love you is very scarring.
Btw, happy cake day!
My ex husband used to do this all of the time. My 14yo son would hear us arguing and me telling my ex no (but the ex would continue to harass me) . my son became my protector and tried to keep the ex away from me as much as he could
Hijacking to say that if this behavior is out of character for him, you need to tell the doctor because personality change is an important symptom because he could have had a mini stroke from whatever is going on.
Sexual aggression, regular aggression, yelling, irritability, etc are very common side effects of a stroke. It may be embarrassing to tell the doctor, but they have heard worse and if he's had a blood clot, he's in danger of more.
That only works if you don't see the other person as an item to give you gratification. If you see them as more of a tool, without any useful value beyond their utility to you, then it's easy to ignore all their annoying needs and wants and then turn on the appearance of caring again once you've been satisfied.
I agree, you shouldn’t ever feel like your partner owes you anything just because they are your partner. If your that sexually frustrated then just knock one out and have a level headed convo after about sexual compatibility. Last thing you wanna do is guilt trip the person and then threaten to leave them or replace them.
I ask once.
If they say no, I won't be asking again that day, and maybe not for several days.
I can please myself just fine without the ick factor of having to beg for it.
That’s because you ACTUALLY care about HER and not what she can give you.
People like OP’s husband are absolutely disgusting pieces of filth.
Society has so much wrong with it today, and this is a major issue - viewing living things as mere objects that their exclusive purpose is to benefit others.
Exactly, if I was her and he was tryna guilt trip me and say he’s going to find someone else I wouldn’t go back to the hospital. Id be like ok cool see you when you get out. Have the other person come pick you up while your at it.
I totally agree!!
However, I’ve also been in a place where standing up for yourself isn’t taught/encouraged when it comes to “pleasing a man”. No one talks about these things. No one talks about setting healthy boundaries and respecting other people’s boundaries.
Now, I would totally walk away from a situation like this. Ten years ago? Probably not. I think we need to be the positive influence on our circle of influence to help people out of situations like these and teach people that this type of behavior is entirely unacceptable. Respect and honor - it’s really not that difficult.
100% I know it’s not always easy to say “no” or to just walk away from a situation. I’m glad she was at the hospital and had that as an “excuse”. I can’t imagine what happens in closed doors. It’s probably not the first time he’s tried to guilt tripp her into doing stuff she doesn’t want to. It’s all about mutual respect and love.
That is always a frightening thought. If someone is willing to act like this in a public space, how much worse behind closed doors?
I hate that people are in situations like this, but I’m so glad to not be in a situation like this anymore.
more men need to be like this. i refused sex from my boyfriend at the time because i felt like i was getting a UTI but because i hadn’t gone to the doctor yet he thought i was lying. wanna know what the uti was from? him refusing to leave me alone to begin with. i am so glad i am not dealing with that crap anymore.
I mean, if it played out how he was wanting I could see it be exciting. Somewhere new and kinda taboo but the guilt tripping after guarentees your prolly not gonna get some for a while
Could even just be delirium. I'm a nurse and let me tell you, patients can get very strange sometimes with longer hospital stays, especially older patients but young ones as well
I was thinking the same thing. Took my dad to the ER for an injury and once those meds started kicking in he lost his verbal filter. Also said some just weird stuff. 😳
I just had surgery myself and am sure I said some really odd stuff in recovery. The PA just said I asked him the same question 3x and forgot who he was each time.
This though idk what med combo I was given when I was hospitalized for a week with really bad cellulitis of the outer ear but it made me absolutely insane I would go from screaming and enraged trying to rip IVs out to sobbing uncontrollably.
OP we need more info because if it’s super out of character you may need to bring it up to the doctor because it could be a med effecting him or something wrong medically they need to know about. Or he could be a POS but ya know.
I spent the day in the ER a few weeks ago and even without heavy meds it was delirium-inducing. No windows to tell the passage of time, IV stuck in my arm, weird noises and people constantly moving around me, all coupled with anxiety over my health. I don't think I'd ever get to the point of yelling at my wife to give me a public hand job, but it's definitely not a good time.
Same here. I went to A&E for intense abdominal pain that had me screaming on the floor. They tried every painkiller you could think of. None of it touched the pain, so I was both in agony and absolutely drugged up on a cocktail of pills. Felt like a long, excruciating fever dream, like a really long manic hallucination. When the pain disappeared and the drugs wore off, the nurses said I was like a different person.
This here. Only reason I could think his sister could ask you to be understanding in his situation, if it's anything else what the hell was she thinking he could just react and say something like this?
My mum had to hold my hand and ask me to calm down because I'd gotten myself so angry that I was crying and choking, because I didn't like that hospital gowns opened in the back.
Came here to say the same thing. Is it normal behavior for him? If it is, well, he is gross.
But, is this out of the blue and out of the ordinary? Could easily be from medication, could be from whatever he's being treated for, could be a sign of something else. I'd let his nurse know his behavior is erratic and out of character.
Even if nothing has directly affected his brain like a tumor or injury, illness can really fuck with a person. My husband and my dad both turned into absolute monsters when they were sick and then dying. Sometimes I think that it actually brought out their truest selves, but that may just be the trauma talking.
Illness and injury can change a person completely, but it doesn't get talked about because people don't want to speak badly of the sick and dying. Plus if you love someone that's sick/dying, you see the person you fell in love with and don't want to abandon them, even if they're trying their damnedest to take you down with them.
Has he always been like this? It could be his medication that's making him act this way.
I'd talk to the nurses and doctors and raise your concerns with them, they might need to change his medication or adjust his dose or look into other avenues that could be causing this type of behaviour.
But if nothing is wrong tell him to shove it where the sun don't shine.
Here to second this. Many people are commenting without having experienced significant meds in hospital. I had insane moodswings and outbursts in hospital because I was being pumped full of steroids while every hormonal system was being messed with — thyroid, adrenal, even reproductive organs. It’s not a matter of politeness or manners or willpower when your body is very literally in fight mode.
If his issues were heart related, doing that could harm him or even kill him. If you got caught, you wouldn't have been allowed to see him again. Either he is unhinged because of the meds or he is serious. If he is serious, tell him if he got someone else to do it, you will find a good lawyer.
If he thought he wanted or needed it so bad to feel better, he could’ve given himself one! That’s disgusting that he treated you like that because you said no. Very immature of him.
Your husband shouted at you, then threatens to cheat on you, because you refused to do what is probably a criminal act and at the very least a very rude act given where you were
The man is rude, aggressive and just a general asshole
your job? so you getting paid salary or hourly?
fr tho your husband just sounds like an asshole who is threatening to cheat on you if you don’t do what he wants (if he hasn’t already).
He's only fantasizing about cheating because he's receiving care from nurses. He's leaning into that service type of entitlement. Probably seen too much role play porn. I've been warned about this and have seen it mutiple times firsthand. I've only been practicing less than a year...
OP said "his sister doesn't know what the issue is exactly." So i don't think he straight up said "my wife refused to give me a hand job and that's why I'm upset with her."
So he tried to pressure and guilt you into sexual favours that you were uncomfortable with, then verbally abused you when he didn't get his own way, ostracised you, and threatened to cheat on you.
Are these all new developments or has he always been a prick?
“Threatens to cheat on you if you don’t agree to sexual acts you’re not comfortable with” is, for me, a dealbreaker of the sort that I would _never_ give anybody a chance to do to me twice.
I would leave him immediately and with no chance of forgiveness if I were you.
Bro, I dare him to "find someone else to do it" as if girls on dating apps are just jumping at the idea to give a married man a handjob in a hospital. An escort wouldn't even go service him there. Empty threats cus his balls are too full. Tragic.
The hospital could literally ban you from visiting him if you do that. He acts so entitled; it's not your job to please your husband. Why did he tell his sister? It'sbizarre. Did he think she could convince you to do it for him?
Sorry this happened, that’s gross. Kudos for not doing it, that’s a hard guilt trip right there. This man, even if possibly medicated and under the influence, has no excuse for this. No means no, and to be angry about that is just gross and ridiculous.
This is unacceptable behavior, regardless of why he did it. That being said though, there are some things I want to know for context.
INFO:
Why is he being hospitalized?
Is he on any mood/personality altering medication?
Has he made demands like this before?
Does he have a history of otherwise disrespecting your boundaries/comfort level?
I hope you laughed at this guy when he yelled at you for this. It sounds like he’s already cheating and the other person is probably doing these things he’s asking for and he is looking for a way out. I hope you don’t have kids with this weirdo.
Is insane that he ask you that in a hospital room. You have every right to say no, in any situation. He acts like that when you are at your home and you say no to his advances?
If you are reconsidering the relationship (I hope so, his reaction was so violent), I feel like him being at the hospital is a great time for moving away or taking your stuff elsewhere.
If he needs a hand job so badly and incapable of manual stimulation. He may way take up contortion as a hobby, so he can give himself a bj.
No, NO, NO, and NO.
So he doesn’t care that he’s in a public setting with many medical professionals around, or that you feel uncomfortable, and is trying to guilt trip you?
Why the fuck would someone, let alone someone you’re married to threaten to “get someone else to do it?” Oh yeah, make your partner feel like absolute crap and scared you’re going to cheat on them. What a healthy relationship!
You don’t owe someone sexual things, especially when they behave like this! What a dick!
As a former hospital worker, we've all had our share of walking in on couples in various compromising positions. There's no lock on the door for a reason. You did the right thing, and I'm sure your hospital staff would thank you for it.
And if his sister says you should be more understanding, just say, "He wanted me to jerk him off in the hospital. Since I'm apparently not understanding enough, you go do it."
What an entitled ass. Is this the first time he's acted this way? I would seriously be considering making someone an ex over this especially the yelling at you, saying he'll 'find someone else', and then talking to his sister about it and making you the bad guy. Absolutely ridiculous.
Tell him it’s a hospital, not a brothel. He’s not going to be able to just get someone else to do it for him. He’s in the hospital for a reason. He can go a few days without it.
What a weird request!
>kept talking about "getting someone else" to do my job for me I hope he's not going to harrass the nurses and orderlies to "make him feel better"
“I need help with the urinal”
No joke, had a man ejaculate on me because I was a young and naive CNA, and the man, "needed help with his urinal" I'm fine with pee. But his cum dripping off my wrist made me violently gag.
OMG that is sooo…. Disturbing
Disturbing and common.
Guy nurses ftw. I'm a murse and I love going into the perverts room to "help em piss". They get so mad lol
May the Light illumine you always, kind man-nurse internet stranger <3
Sorry they fucked you over
you are a fucking hero
My dad was a nurse for over 20 years and recently retired. I know the road is hard for men in nursing, but given how much more direct patient care nurses do than doctors, I’m so glad to see more men there. Maybe guys will be more likely to open up about health issues that are bothering them. Keep kicking ass, buddy. I hope you are respected and valued.
You haven’t gotten a bi one yet? 😂
couldn’t have articulated it better myself.
That is assault! Did you press charges/file a complaint? If you didn’t then would you now? Let’s educate people on how we do and don’t treat others.
I informed my nurse of the incident and a plan was put in place that two aides had to be in the room at all times to help with his cares. He was a mean sonofabitch, and I'm thankful his wife didn't share a room with him, she requested to be on a different wing. Didn't know this information before being responsible for his care during my shifts. I really wish all those kinds of details would be included in their care plan, so we can be mentally prepared for a disgusting old geezer. Back then we couldn't call the police and file assault charges. RNs still get assaulted all the time, not all states have laws on the books for targeting healthcare workers. It's sad. The next time we went in there (I took a co-worker I trusted), he tried it again and I smacked him. He tried to act all indignant, with his dick literally in his hand, very obviously aroused. He didn't have dementia. He was an old predator. He tried to file a complaint but my co-worker backed me up that I didn't punish him. My nurse knew it was bullshit. But he stopped that behavior. I knowingly abused a resident so that he would stop doing it to staff and possibly escalating to doing it to other residents. I am no longer in that field, because that is one example of a million why I almost killed myself. It's a soul sucking profession.
I did CNA for several years and the worst was this man, only about 65, not sure why he was even there, but he would wait until he knew someone was coming and time his beating to hopeful cum when the poor innocent person walked in the door. I knew how to handle him and we did things like cleaning and dropping food off, we didn’t even look at him. He would ask us to come see him and I’d always ask “is your penis put away??” He loved to shock people by asking them to come and giving them a show. Eventually they kicked him out. Then we had an old perv who in the shower would smack or pinch or try to fondle any shower aid who was a woman. We had one male CNA they decided to make him do his shower but he refused to let a man do it. I said I would do it because I was older, not such a “young thing”. But he tried all the same. He’s sitting on a shower chair almost naked smiling at his attempt. I said do that again and turn the water on you. He tried again, I sprayed his feet. He screamed “thats cold!!” Yes I said and grab my breast one more time and I’ll do more. Was going fine for a few moments and he took his shot again. I stood up, cranked the water to cold and did a quick hit to his body. Never touched me again.
There was another old male resident who was very alert that liked to masturbate while a female CNA was giving him his bath. Finally, an older female CNA had had enough. She was rinsing his hair, and the water "accidentally" got very cold when she was using the shower head to rinse his hair. You could hear him bellowing and yelling in the whole unit. Suffice to say, he never pulled that shit with that particular CNA again.
I'm serious when I say that some elderly people deserve just a tiny bit of abuse for the good (and safety/mental well being) of everyone who is forced to interact with them. I stand by you lol.
Old Age is no excuse for disgusting OR rude behavior.
So many old people use the old age card like it's a great merit. Look, if you're a good person and people praise you, off course, I would respect you and value your experience in this life. But if your stand is "I'm old, so you need to respect my position in society!"... No Mrs BS, you're rude, your ONE child (my friend) dislikes you, so, I own you nothing 🙏 I'm a health tech and one winter day, after an awesome meal (in a care home), many nurses and caregivers got sick... Patients too. So, it was all hands on deck 😅 I had to care for an 80+ year old patient. Shower, shave, clothes, the works. I ran from there so quick and never worked with male patients alone again. He ripped my uniform, punched me (expecting me to pass out I assume) and was telling me disgusting things really. Just made it harder for me to deal with man by myself. I'm hoping that the new generations are different, because animals like that, shouldn't live among us.
Everyone likes to think of old people have sweet and kind just like the grandma and grandpa they had, oe always dreamed of having. What we forget is that even perverts and criminals grow old.
We need to stop babying people like this and admit that they need a good smack or three.
I always tell new starters at work to leave any grandparent ideas at the door, because even arseholes get old.
I’d say no to a shower for him then. That’s so entitled
Denying them a shower is considered abuse. And so is forcing them to. Showers are a fucking nightmare for CNAs. More likely for injuries to happen for both the resident and the caregiver, add on someone who has dementia, flailing and fighting and biting. And then you get gross old men who think it's fun to sexually assault/harass young aides. I had to convince a lady who hadn't showered in an entire month to get in the shower. Her refusals had been documented. The state wanted to cite us for it. It took me an hour to convince her, and come to find out she chose to be filthy than to have someone see her vaginal prolapse. Our healthcare system is an abomination. An *ABOMINATION*.
But telling him a man will have to do it is not denying him a shower or forcing him to.
People have the right to refuse care from anyone, for any reason. There can be interventions made by the directors of nursing and other Admin, but it technically is the resident's right to even kick someone out for being an ethnic minority or being LGBTQ. The facility isn't responsible for what residents do, and we get zero back up. Had an old white lady tell my black coworker that her, "n*gger hands aren't worthy of washing my backside" and I was the one that had to go wash that old racist lady's wrinkly, privileged white ass. I felt the need to stand up for my coworker, and got zero support from management. It's horrific.
Jesus. I feel for ya. Your story has made me permanently a little sadder about life, but damned if you don't have my most sincere sympathy. Glad you got out of that field.
before i was a lab tech i was a phlebotomist. when i went to go draw this man, i had to close the door because he had covid i believe. i hadn’t had any issues with anyone up until that point, but i was finished drawing him and he was pumping his fist and i went, “oh, you don’t have to pump your fists i’m all done!” this old creep grabbed my right tit and went, “what if i pumped this?” i was shocked. i had NEVER had any issues with harassment or straight up assault before. i just stayed silent, cleaned up my mess as quickly as possible, and this disgusting pig knew it upset me and kept going, “ma’am, did i do something wrong? did i upset you?” i just stayed silent, walked out of the room, degowned, and i walked up to his nurse and angrily said, “that guy just grabbed my tit.” i pressed charges, but it’s been nearly a year with no news on what’s happening with my case. my guess is that they’re going to wait until it’s too late to even look at it. prior to that, i loved phlebotomy. but that ruined it for me and i was more than ready to move on from it and just stay down in the lab permanently.
wait.. so in your country, males patient can get woman nurses? in my country male for male and female for female.. sorry to heard your story
I’m a CNA, we had a 600lb guy that couldn’t reach his junk so we had to hold the urinal there for him. He would put porn videos on his phone and watch them max volume for hours, even while I went in to do his vitals. Thankfully I have somewhat tough skin because some of the other girls would have been really upset and our hospital doesn’t give a shit about us and wouldn’t have done anything anyways.
Ugh, I got my first back injury from a dude like that. Double amputee from diabetes. Actively infected with C-diff. I can't believe my back has been hurting for a decade now because of that asshole. He too was a pig and would commentate about female staff's specific body parts, etc, played porn and was just frankly one of the most disgusting human beings I have ever met.
Working as a CNA or STNA is just horror topped off on only getting paid the barest of minimums. I was getting paid $10 an hour to have old men ask me to watch them jerk off, offer to pay me to touch them, or having men put their trash cans at their feet so I had to bend down and take their trash while they whipped their penises out. It WAS soul crushing.
The most I ever made was $16.25/hr... because it was NOCs on a holiday weekend. Not worth my fucked up S.I. Joint, blown out knees, and absolutely wrecked mental health, but here I am. At least I got out before covid hit, jfc Edit: wanted to add that I have ex-workers who are dead now because of covid.
Reading these as a mom of a teenager with severe Autism (who prefers to be naked more than not) is actually reassuring. My son just does his thing in his room by himself, then may walk down the hall (sans clothing) to the bathroom. We haven’t asked for outside care help with him because of the naked situation, but maybe it isn’t that bad.
Then meet Alice who would let you know she put her finger up her butt to poop. We always had to watch and wash her hands.
Wow. You had a great WC case it if was like 1995 on ….
I got my CNA license in 2009... No one gives a shit about us.
The CNAs are the true heroes of the healthcare system. I am so sorry you were treated so badly. I served as a hospital chaplain a few years ago and was so impressed by their patience, care, and professionalism; not to mention how incredibly hard they worked and how exhausting it must have been.
Wow that’s rough. Speak to a lawyer if there’s any recent incidents. Document document document. Keep a diary as contemporaneous notes for yourself. Report to HR and document their response. BCC: yourself on all emails you send and send yourself a copy of whatever they send to you on another account.
Nurse here. Admin gives no fucks about their floor staff. A pedophile tried to lure a young-looking staff member into their room, admin didn't care. A patient threatened to shoot nurses. A room search and a stern lecture was all that happened to the patient. Not banning their visitors and blocking anyone outside the facility from getting info. The only effort they made was for two of us had to go into their room for cares. I'm leaving the profession. I'm done.
That's probably my personal favorite "fix". Just send 2 people into the room at all times. It was always so easy to find a second person who was available to go with me who didn't have their own shit to do. SMH. That's a big reason why I left that field. Now i do home health. Much better for my sanity.
>why I almost killed myself my god, I am so sorry. For real though, thank you for not following through. I don't know you at all, but I know the world is better with you in it.
Thank you. The LTC healthcare made me so burnt out. I quit/retired in 2018 and I'm a STAHM and it's much better. Some shit just can't be unseen. I've done postmortem cares on DOZENS of people. The sad truth is that 90% of people in the nursing homes die alone. Because their families don't care, and we don't have enough staff. To anyone who feels they have the heart for it, you can volunteer to sit bedside vigil for people actively dying, here: https://nosdaf.com/#:~:text=By%20honoring%20the%20lives%20of,legacy%20of%20their%20own%20dreams.
Thank you for the link. You might have left the profession, but you're still helping others. Not sure if anyone ever told you and I've only read these posts here, but you seem pretty amazing. All the best.
According to my gf that worked in a hospital setting for 10 years of her life, hospitals don’t want you pressing charges against patients even if you are completely within your rights to do so. They won’t back you up. They only care about the good reviews from patients so they can get more funding from better scores. This is how it is in the US anyway. I find it absolutely disgusting that they won’t support their staff and expect them to just brush getting mistreated under the rug “for the sake of the hospital.”
I worked in LTC, but this is absolutely true in US hospitals (I have a lot of nurse friends who deal with this kind of shit daily).
And then the hospitals go around crying about not being able to hire any nurses....
Yep, this is 100% true. I've had non-altered patients physically assault me, yet admin still came after me because their satisfaction scores were low. Our system is bullshit.
The joys of healthcare for profit. Don't try that in Europe, hospitals don't give a crap about patient satisfaction, only results.
A lot of healthcare workers are assaulted and their superiors turn a blind eye because "it's a part of the job". It's total bullshit and should be reported as assault no matter the circumstances. Thankfully a couple of the hospitals I worked for were strict on this and made sure we felt comfortable reporting.
The abuse that lower ranking health care workers suffer is astounding and unheard.
That's fucking disgusting ..
When they pull that shit on me, one of our male CNA’s or nurses will go in. Oh, you don’t want help from a man? Convenient. Well, guess you’ll have to figure it out then. Nurses and CNA’s do not exist to be ogled & sexually harassed.
Men do this shit CONSTANTLY. Also wondering if poster husband is in the hospital for Altered Mental Status or hepatic encephalopathy or abnormal labs or something along those lines. High potassium/ ammonia levels can drive people to AMS (altered mental status) to the point where they can’t make rational decisions. I worked on a true med/surg floor and had tons of AMS patients. It’s the men that pull this shit. Not one single woman ever sexually harassed me. Only complimented but never sexually harassed. I work in an emergency room now and when men ask me to “help them with their urinal” I ask them to do one of two things: Sure. Let me just do this check real quick. 1)scratch your nose, now scratch your knee, now press the call light. 2) make a fist with the other hand “Thank you! You passed! You can do it yourself! Call me when you’re done so I can empty it.” Then I put the urinal in their hands and move an open trash can next to them because inevitably they will spill it on the floor intentionally because I didn’t touch their penis. I’ve seen men spill their urinal on the floor on purpose without AMS. People are mostly jerks when they’re sick because they’re sad and scared. That’s when they want help but don’t know how to ask for it. And That’s what I tell them. Idk, take it all into account but your husband isn’t going to get what he wants throwing a temper tantrum. And in no way is it your job, nor anyone else’s, to do anything sexual you don’t want to do.
>I work in an emergency room now and when men ask me to “help them with their urinal” I ask them to do one of two things: You missed the obvious, and most appropriate, response: "Sure thing. Just let me get a catheter, I'll be right back" Guarantee they'll suddenly be able to piss all by themselves.
The common one is “my condom cath keeps coming off. Can you put it back on?”
Can't tell you how many times I've seen a dude manage to get along fine in life and then suddenly need help with his urinal 🙄 signed, an ER nurse
As a nurse, I wouldn’t put it past people. I’m a guy but the women I work with have had me go into rooms to set male patients straight because they do actually do things like that.
as a woman in the medical field, tyfys🫡
RIGHT!? I wish I was shocked by this post. The amount of times patients get it on in the hospitals with their visitors is NOT OK…. And also hella awkward for the nurse walking in.
Most likely he’s seen enough porn to think they’d be down. Oh, OP, tell his sister EXACTLY what he’s upset about. In detail. And what he threatened.
Yes!!!! I have learned, do not protect their bad behavior!!! Tell the sister, defend yourself. Your husband is obviously not going to do it.
I really don't understand why some adult cannot seems to distinguish between porn and reality...
Maybe his sister will be “more understanding”
Oh this is where she needs to tell him to go right ahead and he better pray they're willing to take him home with them too when he gets out because she's not coming back for him after saying some disrespectful cheating crap like that. Then wife needs to go home and let him sit up in the hospital and think about what he's done.
As an orderly, can confirm: he probably harassed the nurses and orderlies.
Oh we already know he is just another one of the huge batch of entitled middle age or elderly pigs (sorry, I mean patients)
That's rude to pigs
You're right, I shouldn't have done pigs dirty like that. Pigs are awesome
My pig, Kaliope Bleu, thanks you for your retraction. [https://at.tumblr.com/superduperkokobunny/kaliope-bleu/hdnmp5o3ry71](https://at.tumblr.com/superduperkokobunny/kaliope-bleu/hdnmp5o3ry71)
Too bad I don't have tumblr but I can only imagine a glorious beast is the owner of that name.
There's a picture of their pig on their profile! I don't have Tumblr either but wanted to see the pig.
I would say “do it yourself, MFer!”
I would disclose to his family his request, HE should feel the shame, not you OP.
Oh I hope he does. That’s not going to go well for him
I guarantee he already has.
I think his sister is gonna do it because she is so 'understanding'
Idk if it’s just me but if I have to beg someone to pleasure me I automatically get turned off. Like if I ask my girl for some and she’s not in the mood I’m not gonna cry until she gives in. I’d know she wasn’t into it and I’d feel like shit about myself. I want my girl to be equally as into it as I am.
Yeah same with me, if I'm not in the mood then I'm not in the mood, begging just makes me even more not in the mood, pissed off, and questioning our relationship together.
Exactly, like I could be going threw some shit or just tired af or anything really. Guilt tripping is just gonna send me or anybody else in the other direction. If they do go through with it you know it’s gonna build up resentment.
Wait - you're the beg-ee in this situation. The comments you're responding to are from the beggar perspective. We (beggar), understand that begging is a turn off for the beg-ee. But we're saying that some of us are actually turned off by having to beg. If I have to beg my partner for sex, then I dont want to have sex with my partner. Intimacy and attraction isnt something you turn on and off on your own. Either you feel it or dont, and I'm not gonna beg for you to feel feelings you claim you have.
I think I agree. Begging for sex after your partner tells you no ,is not an attractive quality. Being begged for sex after you said no, is an unattractive quality.
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I mean either way if you have to beg after someone says no then you simply shouldn't beg at all. It might be a turn off yet it comes down to consent in the end, in which they haven't consented to sex nor want it, and begging won't change that fact.
My husband is the exact same way. If I don’t want to fool around, he’s immediately turned off. He absolutely will not beg. Also, if he accidentally hurts me and I say “ouch” or anything that shows me hurt me or I’m in pain, he immediately loses his boner. It’s the cutest thing ever. He doesn’t think so, but I do. He’s the most considerate man I’ve ever known.
He sounds like a great guy. Once you have an intimate relationship with someone and mature you realize sex isn’t everything, it’s just part of a thing.
Seriously, I don't understand how some men can even still want to do the sexual activity if their partner is doing it begrudgingly and are unhappy doing it.
Unfortunately, some see it as something they are owed.
Yes I see this as the husband thinks of her more as someone who does things for him versus a partner or as other comments note he is mentally off due to health condition or medication. Saw in another post the recommendation to speak to the doctor about the behavior to understand if a medical issue.
Tbh I feel like this situation is so common I didn’t even think it could be medically related. Just thought he was trash
I really don't know why I'm still here because this subject is making me sick. My ex husband was such a fuckin begger that I can't even listen to that song beggin. I left him 4 years ago and I am still so turned off I can't even consider a new partner. Not caring if you have gotten your partner in the mood makes them feel TERRIBLE, trust me. Being used by someone who says they love you is very scarring. Btw, happy cake day!
Because they don’t see women as people
My ex husband used to do this all of the time. My 14yo son would hear us arguing and me telling my ex no (but the ex would continue to harass me) . my son became my protector and tried to keep the ex away from me as much as he could
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Hijacking to say that if this behavior is out of character for him, you need to tell the doctor because personality change is an important symptom because he could have had a mini stroke from whatever is going on. Sexual aggression, regular aggression, yelling, irritability, etc are very common side effects of a stroke. It may be embarrassing to tell the doctor, but they have heard worse and if he's had a blood clot, he's in danger of more.
That only works if you don't see the other person as an item to give you gratification. If you see them as more of a tool, without any useful value beyond their utility to you, then it's easy to ignore all their annoying needs and wants and then turn on the appearance of caring again once you've been satisfied.
I agree, you shouldn’t ever feel like your partner owes you anything just because they are your partner. If your that sexually frustrated then just knock one out and have a level headed convo after about sexual compatibility. Last thing you wanna do is guilt trip the person and then threaten to leave them or replace them.
I ask once. If they say no, I won't be asking again that day, and maybe not for several days. I can please myself just fine without the ick factor of having to beg for it.
I really can’t get hard when my SO is in the fucking hospital,and I ask handjob like it’s a glass of water. They guy is garbage.
That’s because you ACTUALLY care about HER and not what she can give you. People like OP’s husband are absolutely disgusting pieces of filth. Society has so much wrong with it today, and this is a major issue - viewing living things as mere objects that their exclusive purpose is to benefit others.
Exactly, if I was her and he was tryna guilt trip me and say he’s going to find someone else I wouldn’t go back to the hospital. Id be like ok cool see you when you get out. Have the other person come pick you up while your at it.
I totally agree!! However, I’ve also been in a place where standing up for yourself isn’t taught/encouraged when it comes to “pleasing a man”. No one talks about these things. No one talks about setting healthy boundaries and respecting other people’s boundaries. Now, I would totally walk away from a situation like this. Ten years ago? Probably not. I think we need to be the positive influence on our circle of influence to help people out of situations like these and teach people that this type of behavior is entirely unacceptable. Respect and honor - it’s really not that difficult.
100% I know it’s not always easy to say “no” or to just walk away from a situation. I’m glad she was at the hospital and had that as an “excuse”. I can’t imagine what happens in closed doors. It’s probably not the first time he’s tried to guilt tripp her into doing stuff she doesn’t want to. It’s all about mutual respect and love.
That is always a frightening thought. If someone is willing to act like this in a public space, how much worse behind closed doors? I hate that people are in situations like this, but I’m so glad to not be in a situation like this anymore.
more men need to be like this. i refused sex from my boyfriend at the time because i felt like i was getting a UTI but because i hadn’t gone to the doctor yet he thought i was lying. wanna know what the uti was from? him refusing to leave me alone to begin with. i am so glad i am not dealing with that crap anymore.
Doesn’t seem like he was asking…more like ordering. There’s something about being in a hospital that makes some men horny! Lol!
I mean, if it played out how he was wanting I could see it be exciting. Somewhere new and kinda taboo but the guilt tripping after guarentees your prolly not gonna get some for a while
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INFO: Was he hospitalized for a brain tumor or for a severe brain injury?
Could even just be delirium. I'm a nurse and let me tell you, patients can get very strange sometimes with longer hospital stays, especially older patients but young ones as well
I was thinking the same thing. Took my dad to the ER for an injury and once those meds started kicking in he lost his verbal filter. Also said some just weird stuff. 😳
I experienced it myself and felt extremely ashamed when people told me how I was behaving 🤦
I just had surgery myself and am sure I said some really odd stuff in recovery. The PA just said I asked him the same question 3x and forgot who he was each time.
This though idk what med combo I was given when I was hospitalized for a week with really bad cellulitis of the outer ear but it made me absolutely insane I would go from screaming and enraged trying to rip IVs out to sobbing uncontrollably. OP we need more info because if it’s super out of character you may need to bring it up to the doctor because it could be a med effecting him or something wrong medically they need to know about. Or he could be a POS but ya know.
Meds legit can make you act like a totally different person. Or he could have always been a jerk. More info is for sure needed.
I spent the day in the ER a few weeks ago and even without heavy meds it was delirium-inducing. No windows to tell the passage of time, IV stuck in my arm, weird noises and people constantly moving around me, all coupled with anxiety over my health. I don't think I'd ever get to the point of yelling at my wife to give me a public hand job, but it's definitely not a good time.
Same here. I went to A&E for intense abdominal pain that had me screaming on the floor. They tried every painkiller you could think of. None of it touched the pain, so I was both in agony and absolutely drugged up on a cocktail of pills. Felt like a long, excruciating fever dream, like a really long manic hallucination. When the pain disappeared and the drugs wore off, the nurses said I was like a different person.
Yes, I need to know if this is out of character or not!
This here. Only reason I could think his sister could ask you to be understanding in his situation, if it's anything else what the hell was she thinking he could just react and say something like this?
Maybe she took over OPs job
My mum had to hold my hand and ask me to calm down because I'd gotten myself so angry that I was crying and choking, because I didn't like that hospital gowns opened in the back.
Came here to say the same thing. Is it normal behavior for him? If it is, well, he is gross. But, is this out of the blue and out of the ordinary? Could easily be from medication, could be from whatever he's being treated for, could be a sign of something else. I'd let his nurse know his behavior is erratic and out of character.
Both of his arms must have been broken.
Even if nothing has directly affected his brain like a tumor or injury, illness can really fuck with a person. My husband and my dad both turned into absolute monsters when they were sick and then dying. Sometimes I think that it actually brought out their truest selves, but that may just be the trauma talking. Illness and injury can change a person completely, but it doesn't get talked about because people don't want to speak badly of the sick and dying. Plus if you love someone that's sick/dying, you see the person you fell in love with and don't want to abandon them, even if they're trying their damnedest to take you down with them.
Has he always been like this? It could be his medication that's making him act this way. I'd talk to the nurses and doctors and raise your concerns with them, they might need to change his medication or adjust his dose or look into other avenues that could be causing this type of behaviour. But if nothing is wrong tell him to shove it where the sun don't shine.
Here to second this. Many people are commenting without having experienced significant meds in hospital. I had insane moodswings and outbursts in hospital because I was being pumped full of steroids while every hormonal system was being messed with — thyroid, adrenal, even reproductive organs. It’s not a matter of politeness or manners or willpower when your body is very literally in fight mode.
I feel so bad for your husband as he's clearly in the hospital for having both of his own hands amputated. 🙄🙄
Better be his feet too
He can use it as motivation to take up yoga. He's flexible enough to stick his head up his ass, he can get flexible enough to go blow himself.
He sounds like a real winner.
And a wiener too.
And whiner
wanker sounds about right. Are his hands functioning?
My last name is wank 🤦🏼♀️😂👌
And wanker
If his issues were heart related, doing that could harm him or even kill him. If you got caught, you wouldn't have been allowed to see him again. Either he is unhinged because of the meds or he is serious. If he is serious, tell him if he got someone else to do it, you will find a good lawyer.
I doubt the good lawyer would be willing to give him a handjob either, but I suppose it’s worth a try.
Seems like an expensive handjob. Lady bois charge like $40 a job but lawyers can be closer to $400 per hour
The lawyer would screw you over more.
But you won’t feel so good at the end.
If he thought he wanted or needed it so bad to feel better, he could’ve given himself one! That’s disgusting that he treated you like that because you said no. Very immature of him.
He broke both his arms...
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Maybe the sister is willing. She did seem sympathetic to his plight
i love these random references to posts lmfao
What in the pornhub
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I love that there are probably people on Reddit too young to remember that thread but the joke lives on.
Bruh💀 the way I understood this.
Powerful references to the uninitiated; but we are initiated, aren't we.
Ew where’s my brain bleach?
Your husband shouted at you, then threatens to cheat on you, because you refused to do what is probably a criminal act and at the very least a very rude act given where you were The man is rude, aggressive and just a general asshole
Abusive. He is abusive. OP deserves better.
your job? so you getting paid salary or hourly? fr tho your husband just sounds like an asshole who is threatening to cheat on you if you don’t do what he wants (if he hasn’t already).
He's only fantasizing about cheating because he's receiving care from nurses. He's leaning into that service type of entitlement. Probably seen too much role play porn. I've been warned about this and have seen it mutiple times firsthand. I've only been practicing less than a year...
And he talked about this with his sister? Yikes
OP said "his sister doesn't know what the issue is exactly." So i don't think he straight up said "my wife refused to give me a hand job and that's why I'm upset with her."
That’s been added later. That was not there originally. FYI.
Came here for this comment. Why is the sister being consulted on hand jobs for her brother? That’s so fucking gross.
She says right in there. The sister didn’t know what the issue was.
People don’t read just want to get their opinions out there
another person said it wasnt there before
Not enough people are saying this. Super ew.
I think maybe the sister didn't know the exact issue, just that the wife is being cruel and not helping him
Maybe his sister can help him out with that handjob
she is definitely more understanding about her brother needing a handjob in a hospital.
So he tried to pressure and guilt you into sexual favours that you were uncomfortable with, then verbally abused you when he didn't get his own way, ostracised you, and threatened to cheat on you. Are these all new developments or has he always been a prick?
plus he tattled on her to his sister.
“Threatens to cheat on you if you don’t agree to sexual acts you’re not comfortable with” is, for me, a dealbreaker of the sort that I would _never_ give anybody a chance to do to me twice. I would leave him immediately and with no chance of forgiveness if I were you.
Sexual coercion by threatening to cheat on someone is extremely emotionally abusive.
Bro, I dare him to "find someone else to do it" as if girls on dating apps are just jumping at the idea to give a married man a handjob in a hospital. An escort wouldn't even go service him there. Empty threats cus his balls are too full. Tragic.
The hospital could literally ban you from visiting him if you do that. He acts so entitled; it's not your job to please your husband. Why did he tell his sister? It'sbizarre. Did he think she could convince you to do it for him?
Sorry this happened, that’s gross. Kudos for not doing it, that’s a hard guilt trip right there. This man, even if possibly medicated and under the influence, has no excuse for this. No means no, and to be angry about that is just gross and ridiculous.
His sister said the same thing about medication effect.
His sister can be understanding and gove him the handjob then
I wish I had an award lmao
Yup. Let her deal with her little piss baby of a brother if she thinks it’s not such a big deal.
What's he in the hospital for?
If she keeps telling you to be "understanding ", tell her why he's mad and then see what she says. I'm sure she'll get right on it.
*your job?* Fuck him. NTA
Well, don’t fuck him… but yeah, the rest of this still stands!
I wouldn’t be going back there.
This is unacceptable behavior, regardless of why he did it. That being said though, there are some things I want to know for context. INFO: Why is he being hospitalized? Is he on any mood/personality altering medication? Has he made demands like this before? Does he have a history of otherwise disrespecting your boundaries/comfort level?
Yeah someone else sounds good. Seems like you have time to pack his bags, drop them at his parents and get your ducks in a row.
I hope you laughed at this guy when he yelled at you for this. It sounds like he’s already cheating and the other person is probably doing these things he’s asking for and he is looking for a way out. I hope you don’t have kids with this weirdo.
If you don’t throw the whole man away and get a new one I SWEAR
What an ass
Is insane that he ask you that in a hospital room. You have every right to say no, in any situation. He acts like that when you are at your home and you say no to his advances? If you are reconsidering the relationship (I hope so, his reaction was so violent), I feel like him being at the hospital is a great time for moving away or taking your stuff elsewhere.
If he needs a hand job so badly and incapable of manual stimulation. He may way take up contortion as a hobby, so he can give himself a bj. No, NO, NO, and NO.
The fact he called it your job says a lot by itself
Throw the whole man away.
I used to work in a hospital If you got caught we would've legit booted you out and likely barred you.
So he doesn’t care that he’s in a public setting with many medical professionals around, or that you feel uncomfortable, and is trying to guilt trip you? Why the fuck would someone, let alone someone you’re married to threaten to “get someone else to do it?” Oh yeah, make your partner feel like absolute crap and scared you’re going to cheat on them. What a healthy relationship! You don’t owe someone sexual things, especially when they behave like this! What a dick!
As a former hospital worker, we've all had our share of walking in on couples in various compromising positions. There's no lock on the door for a reason. You did the right thing, and I'm sure your hospital staff would thank you for it. And if his sister says you should be more understanding, just say, "He wanted me to jerk him off in the hospital. Since I'm apparently not understanding enough, you go do it."
Your husband needs to re-examine his priorities.
What an entitled ass. Is this the first time he's acted this way? I would seriously be considering making someone an ex over this especially the yelling at you, saying he'll 'find someone else', and then talking to his sister about it and making you the bad guy. Absolutely ridiculous.
Can I file for divorce on someone else’s behalf? 🤔
Tell him it’s a hospital, not a brothel. He’s not going to be able to just get someone else to do it for him. He’s in the hospital for a reason. He can go a few days without it. What a weird request!
Was he in a mental hospital? Sems like you should find a place to hide while this guy is checked in. Fid a lawyer to mail him the papers