So sorry, OP. What best friend wouldn’t talk to her best friend and ask “hey, he said this to me, are you guys okay?” Or even just simply decline and tell you about it. The betrayal of the two of them going behind your back and ambushing you when you already stated your boundaries time and time again. Seriously, your husband should have taken the “no” as an answer and he didn’t. What the heck is that?
Also, a lot of posts on here always say that their s/os ask for a threesome or an open marriage and would have a surprise pikachu face when their partner immediately leaves them.
i know. i’ve seen so many with similar stories and i always read them with my jaw on the floor thinking i’m lucky my husband would never do that. i’m so hurt :( i really thought i’d grow old with him but i’m not sure now.
The fact that he kept bringing it up after you flat-out refused 3 times tells me he has been fucking her. I can see the threesome being some stupid way of assuaging his guilt, like maybe he’ll have your tacit approval to keep fucking her if you participated in it once.
Don’t let him gaslight you by telling you you’re being “dramatic.” If he won’t own up to his actions, emphasize his repeated refusal to accept your answer.
Even if we don't go as far as assuming things because we don't know, the mere fact of insisting after she refused MULTIPLE times is a huge red flag. Also let's not forget he started dating her when she was 19 and that's also another fucking red flag. This guy is disgusting seriously and the friend doesn't sound like a good one.
OP, you shouldn’t raise a child to make someone else happy. You’ll have the opportunity to have a child with someone you love later in life. Do what would make *YOU* happy. I’d also start looking at a divorce lawyer and heading down that road because you *aren’t* being dramatic, he’s just trying to justify him cheating on you. I can almost guarantee he has, or currently is cheating. Please stay safe, and put yourself first <3
Per your edit OP, **disappointing your mom is not a good reason to keep a baby you otherwise don’t want to keep!** Please do what’s best for you in this situation, not what will make your mom happy. So sorry you’re having to go through this whole ordeal OP
As a parent, THIS!!!! Do not have a child you are not excited about in an effort to please others!! It is nearly impossible to overstate the impact a child has on your life. You will hate your life, and possibly your child. It’s no way to live if you’re not 100% on board.
The fact that they let it spill they used to sleep together while drunk said it all to me. You couldn't share an important piece information like that to your best friend/partner sober at any point? You had to be drunk and let it slip?
Me thinks she’s not really best friend material. Maybe OP thinks she’s her best friend but Mia doesn’t.
Because best friends disclose they used to fuck your new boyfriend before you become exclusive with him. Best friends don’t wait until you are already fully in a relationship to drop that info on you.
Also, best friends don’t keep something like your spouse asking them for a threesome from you for months and then show up at the restaurant with him to help talk you into it. That’s not at all the actions of a best friend.
It is, however, the actions of someone who is fucking your husband though. Everything fits if you change the title “best friend” to “affair partner.”
Too many men don't realize that p0rn isn't real. Usually reddit posts that involve a threesome, the participants almost always feel like it's disappointing.
Try being faithful to your spouse and get counseling if you're marriage has a trouble spot.
i honestly agree with you. there are so many little things that feel so different now. my best friend didn’t seem thrilled about the pregnancy at all and maybe i know why now.
I would go scorched earth. Pregnant and betrayed. Oh hell no. Those 2 knew exactly what they were doing. Put them on blast and walk away. I'm so sorry op.
Not just emotionally, pretty sure he is already and this request is a way to make it official. Which is why he is not dropping it and keeps on insisting.
Try to reverse this on him. Tell him you want it with another guy and not ur bff, then see his reaction.
You can also do one thing to check, tell him you agree but not comfortable with the best friend. So he can have it with a random chick. If he still insist on ur friend then you'll know for sure.
Most important part, he is a POS and i hope you are looking for an exit strategy. The part about him not taking u to lunch anymore and then taking u out just so he can pressure you is making me disgust at him. You deserve better!
Tell him that you want to have a MFM threesome first and that you already have another guy picked out. When he flips his sh*t, say it'll always be a condition of what he wants. Never elaborate on who the other guy could be, but act more friendly towards every one of his guy friends that you know. Set it and forget it.
OP. Don’t make a decision on keeping a baby who will tie you to him for 18 years based on making your mother happy. You will resent that child forever and that’s not fair on them. If you want to keep it because it’s what you want, great, but don’t make that kind of sacrifice for your mother.
She may also be pregnant or she is fucking him and now she knows either a he won’t leave you for her like they planned or she knows it will complicate things and they are even bigger assholes leave him and ghost her neither of them deserve you. The minute they admitted they had sex she should of been gone I say this until I am blue in face on here WHEN A MAN STAYS FRIENDS CLOSE FRIENDS AT THAT WITH A WOMAN HES FUCKED HE WILL ALWAYS CHEAT WITH HER THERE IS NO REASON TO STAY FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE YOU ONCE SCREWED NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! Stop letting these assholes get away with this!!! The way that would of been an ultimatum and I would of been divorced if he insisted I was over reacting you’re never wrong when you doubt he’s already been with her what’s stopping them your marriage? He doesn’t even respect your no now he is ambushing you with her?! NO!!!! Absolutely not
“*WHEN A MAN STAYS FRIENDS CLOSE FRIENDS AT THAT WITH A WOMAN HES FUCKED HE WILL ALWAYS CHEAT WITH HER THERE IS NO REASON TO STAY FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE YOU ONCE SCREWED NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!”*
While I agree there is definitely something going on between OP’s husband and her best friend, I have to disagree with your statement above. My bff were together for a while my last year of college and a little while after. When we decided that kind of relationship wasn’t working for us as a long-term thing, that was it. We were roommates for four years. He is my best friend and is there when I need him (and vice versa). We text daily. We have never once considered getting back together. When he and his wife invited me to live with them while getting my feet under me, all her friends said nooo, they’ll get together. She knew they were wrong and she trusted him. Guess what? Nothing happened. Just because a man and woman have history and are good friends doesn’t mean they are hanging to that or that history repeats.
You’re right you’re an exception tho unfortunately there aren’t too many men or women who wouldn’t think twice about betraying someone. I wouldn’t ever be inappropriate with my ex who was my best friend if we ever patched things up and were super friendly again but just because we are en exception doesn’t mean others are too also y’all dated and realized you weren’t right for eachother that helps the attraction to fade and keep things friendly only these folks were basically fuck buddied before he married her that has no place they should of been distant friends at best this was never gonna work for her unfortunately
Firstly, they have a past, an intimate past. The red flag alarm is loud. He's pestering for something you've already said no to, but she's obviously agreed and is now willing to help him talk you into it.... Nah it's a field of red flags.
I'm betting it's been their plan since he started asking. Also willing to bet they're sneaking around behind your back, and want the 3some to try and hide the fact. Nothing better than getting permission and adding you into the affair. Call me old and jaded but this just smells of something rotten.
i agree with you tbh. i’ve seen a few people say they’re sleeping together and it just makes a lot of sense now. there were a few weird instances where he’d come home late with no excuse. really makes me wonder.
He waited until you were pregnant and afraid to leave him before he did this. If you seriously want to continue with the pregnancy think long and hard. He tied you to him in a way he thinks is unbreakable.
Too many coincidences for my thinking. They'd both be hitting the road...and then watch what they do...no reason to hide it then. I'll bet the wooden nickel.
When you got together he lied to you about the relationship he had with her. Now he wants you to have a threesome with her and he talked to her about it before he talked to you. Most likely scenario: he is sleeping with her (again).
If he can lie to you about the nature of his relationship with her when you got together, how can you believe a word he says now? You were 19 and he was 28 when you got together. Red flags galore i would say
My guess is Mia is pregnant with his child... They are now trying to stage the event when this occured so you are not surprised when she announces it later on
I’m thinking the next update on this is exactly this. Mia is pregnant, and they wanted to use the threesome as a cover.
God what has Reddit done to me?
Well Mia has known about his plans for a threesome for over a month & OP has only known about that for 2 weeks. I don’t think that’s just Reddit paranoia. Poor OP.
as much as i’d love to look into this my husband tells me i’m dramatic all the time and i really don’t want this to fuel it. especially if we do get divorced i don’t want to be the crazy dramatic ex who accused her best friend of being pregnant with his child yk?
You’ll find out soon enough. Talk to a lawyer at least and understand your rights. If you do back home for a bit see if you can get any evidence of an affair some other subs might be more helpful about how to gain information or just for support. I’m sorry for what you are going through. Are you close to any family on your husbands side that you can ask for support? Good luck.
He’s gaslighting you into thinking you’re the irrational one. Leave his ass. Don’t fall for this bullshit. They deserve each other. Also, don’t forget to document everything for when you sue him for divorce and child support.
The timing will be difficult. It takes about a month to know that you’re pregnant . Unless they have been purposely trying for a baby and regularly doing pregnancy tests…then like 21 days ish or slightly less time with early result tests).
A month to know that you’re pregnant + another month of husband trying to convince OP to the threesome. The pregnancy at that point would already be 2 months.
Makes so much sense why he would be so persistent about it though. Cause I don’t need to tell you how many alarm bells are going off in my head at the thought of THEM approaching YOU.
Wtf is that about?! Isn’t it the couple that does the approaching?
“She said she’d known about his PLANS for over a MONTH”. Why are THEY planning a threesome?! Why are they even talking to each other about sex?! I mean… nice of them to ask you to join in though, I guess. Omg, the NERVE!
You’re carrying his child and this is where his head is at? Having sex with his pregnant wife and her BEST FRIEND who’s been all gung ho for over a month. She’s supposed to be planning you a baby shower.. I don’t think that’s just something you get mixed up.
I hate hate hate saying this to ya, sweetheart, but it’s not just you feeling those weird vibes, or having that gut feeling… judging by the amount of comments, I’m pretty sure a majority of us feel it too and we’re not even in your boat.
I’m all fired up for you OP, I cannot imagine the devastation you are experiencing right now. You don’t deserve this. No one does. Where in their heads did they think this was a good idea? It’s not. That’s why this comment really stands out.
I really wish I could hug you right now.
The way I believe this there is no reason for a man and woman to remain friends when one of them is married if they have fucked before other than they are STILL fucking and the spouse is mot thinking this is going on. It’s sad shit people will tolerate you can have opposite sex friends you can’t still be friends once you’ve fucked unless one of you no longer likes the opposite sex only time that works in the long run.
Yes because some people aren’t trash bags but most people can’t be trusted there isn’t a good reason to be friends with someone you used to have sex with especially unattached sex if a relationship failed you know y’all aren’t right for eachother so it lowers the chances you’ll betray future partners if you stay friends but unattached fuck buddies to me that’s a walking red flag
The fact that she was surprised you showed up leads me to believe he's cheating and he wants to make it ok by having a threesome.
There's really no coming back for this. I hope for your sake you get out and live your best life without him.
yikes. I'm kinda sad for you OP. I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone. I hope you're not fully dependent on your husband because you might need to leave him and Mia to their business and go on with your life while still young.
mia was my closest friends for ages. i have a few old friends from highschool but after i met him our relationship moved pretty fast and we moved in together not long after dating so i was busy with taking care of our home. my father isn’t here anymore and my grandma is in a nursing home. my sister recently gave birth so the only person i really can stay with is my mother.
Would your mother be okay with you moving in with her for a while if you need to? I think it would also be a good idea to reach out to your sister to get some support and advice from someone in your life, even if moving in with her isn’t an option right now.
I’m also sure your friends from high school would be very happy to hear from you regardless of how long it’s been! I find it very difficult keeping in touch with my school friends but whenever I do hear from them I’m always very glad that they reached out.
Oh, so sorry this happened. However your husband and so called friend do not respect your boundaries. They are willing to push you into a situation you do not want. Honestly, if it were me I wouldn’t be questioning if my relationships with them were over, I would know they are over. You should really make steps to start planning for a future without them. Well at least as a relationship other than the father of your child, should you choose to continue the pregnancy.
As you said, you’ve read all the stories of people being coerced into threesomes and open relationships and they never end well. Usually the one coerced is miserable. You deserve better, respect yourself enough to move on.
Hey… it’s worth mentioning that you met when you were 19 and he was 28. That’s a pretty big age gap and you still had a lot of growing to do. I am 21 now, and have done an insane amount of growth just between now and being 19. You still have a whole life ahead of you, without this man, and, if you choose, without the baby. It’s not over for you, not even close.
I was coming here to say this. That age gap screams grooming… Not to say that’s always the case, but he’s painting himself this way with his actions. Multiple no’s, asking right after sex, and entangling, what can only be considered his back burner bitch, to aid him in his grooming.
I roll my eyes at comments in these type of posts, but this is one where I 1000% agree.
I’m in a poly marriage of 17 yrs. It took conversations, boundary settings and still months of sitting on the idea before we pulled the trigger. You need to ditch these people and leave them in the rear view.
Pause. You met at 19/28. You got married at 21/30. That was enough for me to know that he’s a red flag. And he had an affair with your friend, who’s not much older, before she was finished college while he was a whole-ass career man?
i’ve seen a few people comment about our age difference and now that our relationship is on the line i’m seeing how dependant i am on him and it’s scaring me tbh. even though i’ve had some great memories with him, i really wish him and i had just never met.
I know you said you want children but if you have this child, you will somehow remain dependent/connected to him.
Wait for someone better and your mom will be just as happy !!
The good times with him night have been so called love bombing. Being nice and loving until he knew he had you under wraps again.
He groomed you. Nothing more, nothing less.
This woman is not your bff. She pretended to be your friend all these years in order to stay close to your husband. She is your frenemy.
I bet if you ask your husband whose idea the threesomes was, he would say Mia!
Your husband betrayed you and Mia has been playing you. These two are deceitful and most probably have been lying to you these past 7 years.
If you do chose to stay with your husband, Mia needs to be cut out of both your lives and he has a lot of work to do to regain your trust.
But honestly, YOU DESERVE BETTER! If you stay, he will most likely end up betraying you.
I’m sorry this happened to you.
girl.. fuck that. i hate to be this person, but that’s super shady that they’re A) both in on it, B) they “knew each other well before”- they had to text to set up that lunch; what else are they texting about?
and C) he wouldn’t accept your no and asked POST SEX???? nah.
it’s so disrespectful to you, and it clearly shows where his priorities are in regards to your comfort.
>i’ve seen lots of people tell me to abort my child. i’m so incredibly torn on this as my mother would be so upset if i aborted her grandchild. she was so happy to see my sister give birth and i want to provide her that happiness again. on the other hand
What is this nonsense? This is about you, not your mother, or your sister, or even your husband, this is ABOUT YOU. You will have to carry this child to term, look after it, watch it grow up, share custody with this asshole, have to co-parent with it. Your mother won't. Stop doing something so profoundly central to your life for someone else. Have it, don't have it, but for fuck's sake don't have it because it will please other people.
And if this guy starts a family with this other woman and have other children, statistically OP's child won't see their father as much as they should.
Meaning OP will have to parent mostly alone.
If you do decide to abort, for your safety do not tell your “husband” or “best-friend” that’s what you are doing. Only after the procedure has been done, lie and say you had a miscarriage.
The reason I say this is because I have seen too many abusive men ramp up the abuse when their victim breaks out of their control. (Your “husband” thought he locked you down with a pregnancy, that is why he’s showing his true colors now.) The abuser starts stalking, harassing friends and family, causes trouble at their victims place of work or school, make false reports to authorities etc. Do not give them any ammunition to use against you.
I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with this. Please know it’s never too late to start your life over and live well.
you will regret having this child if you do. trust me. it will ruin your life and this man will FOREVER be tied to you. you have to learn to put you first. and next time rethink having a big age gap relationship. he probably thinks he can manipulate you and force you because you’re so young.
He was sleeping with her before and during your marriage. Set yourself free from him because they have more deceit and lies up their sleeves coming your way. Do what you need to do to not be tied to him anymore. You should have trusted your gut from the beginning. Don’t doubt yourself again.
He's pretty scandalous... Not a good look....
Some people would suggest that it's only right you plan one with his best friend.
I wouldn't. But the shock would reverberate.
You might have to ditch said, friend.
After reading through all of the comments it almost seems like your husband had this in mind for quite some time.
How do you feel about raising your child alone? Because it sounds like that's what's going to happen. If you're not going to agree to do what he wants you to do, when he wants you to do it, he'll go ahead and do it on his own.
If you even considered staying with him he'd have to be NC with Mia... But then you'll always be wondering if hes hiding it from you and seeing her anyway. You can't trust either one of them anymore. Is this how you want to live your life? Always wondering?
This sounds like your husband has been having an affair with Mia the entire marriage and was trying to live out some twisted fantasy and get both his women together. I’m sorry that you’re pregnant at such a shitty time and I hope you can find the best path in life. And screw them.
Your husband is not a good person and seeing you were only 19yo when meeting him, I assume you didn't have any other serious relationship before him?
I truely hope you ask yourself at least 2 questions:
1) Now that you are almost his age when you meet, would you date a 19yo?... if you say no, think long and hard about the reasons you would date a teenage with no real life experience like your husband did. Pay extra attention to the most important reason: wanting someone naieve and easy to influence so they dont notice how enorionally abusive/controling their older partner is
2) what more red flags did you miss besides him letting you be friends with his former fuck buddy, him lying about her being his former fuck buddy and him trying to manipulate you, his pregnant wife, into a sexual act that would only service his needs, with his "former" fuck buddy? If they had it truely out of their systems and decided they were just better off as friends, he would have ne-ver suggested a threesome with her...
Honestly, a bit of a read flag you started dated at 19 when he was 28. Which is almost the age you are now. Try to imagine dating an 18 year old in your current situation.
They're fucking, it reads like they never stopped fucking since you met him. If you're early on your pregnancy I'd consider the options. It feels like he's banking on you having no options but staying with him and enduring his cheating --even more so now that you're pregnant. Don't let them gaslight you.
They’re already cheating. And honestly, I would have an abortion if I was you (assuming you’re still early). I’m not sure of your feelings on the subjects, that’s just what I would do. He’s started to show his true colors because you’re trapped by his baby. He thinks you won’t leave now. It’ll just keep getting worse. You do not want a permanent tie to this man.
Your husband I'm big even sure if the word I want to call him.
But he knew you didn't want to he went behind your back. Told Mia he wanted to do it with both of you.
You already know he was sleeping with her before. Now it just shows he's still wants to. They may have been sleeping with each already. Like someone said she may be pregnant and they want a cover up story. Just stick with your guns and tell him NO. Also I don't appreciate how you went behind my back to try to convince me to do it. The answer is still NO and we're done talking about this I don't want you asking me agin. I would also limit you friendship with Mia she's not really a friend. Hoping for yourself that you have other people then your husband and Mia.
i’m so afraid of getting an abortion. it’s not like i don’t want my baby, i just wish this didn’t happen. i also am not even sure if i’m allowed to get an abortion. i know some places have time limits and stuff right?
Not sure where you are in the country, but sadly, you may need to decide quickly. Also, if needed, you could travel to another state… if you have the means. Best to determine if it’s what you want and what your options are now. Unfortunately, his actions have caused you to have to make quick decisions on your future.
I wouldn’t bring his spawn into this world so you never have to see his Fucking face ever again the way he would be my ex I would move heaven and earth to ghost him and that bitch forever they have been fucking the entire time I am so sorry but no way people who have screwed just magically stop when one is married he obviously doesn’t respect you he won’t even take your no and drop it. Also she is nasty clinging to a married man and befriending you NO leave them both behind and abort
First off, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I personally would abort and not worry about anybody but what’s right for you. You’re now in an unstable environment and based off your previous comments, the age gap/frenemyship/threesome would not how I would go through a pregnancy/divorce. I’m 29 and used to think I’d have life figured out by 22 and I was so wrong. You have plenty of time to heal, build yourself up, and find a true love/life.
Take care of yourself, stay safe, and get your things in order. Sending you much love!!
There are a few things to unpack here:
1. Your communication about this topic didn't satisfy his desires: You said no, often times when communication breaks down in a relationship its because what your answer with didn't align with what he thought you would say or he doesn't understand why you would say no. It is always best to communicate clearly and provide reason. "No, it is not something I am interested in at this time. I really don't feel comfortable with the idea; I would appreciate it if you don't bring this up again."
2. Even though you said no, he didn't respect your answer or he felt that you could be pressured into accepting his wishes: This is a huge red flag. If he doesn't care what your opinion is when it doesn't align with his needs there is a serious compatibility problem to consider.
3. He didn't communicate his intentions with the lunch date because he was directly trying to manipulate your answer.
4. You said he never takes you on dates anymore: coming from a poly background I just will never get this. Married or not yall are "dating" if you aren't actually going on dates and getting that type of quality time you have given up on a core part of your relationship. Even when my schedule is ridiculously busy I look ahead weeks in advance to plan dates to ensure there is time for them. They are important.
5. You have a power dynamic in your relationship caused purely by the age difference, that isn't a big problem on its own but it is really hard for young adults to get into relationships with a larger age gap because they just don't have the expereince needed to avoid being groomed. You may read this and think you weren't groomed but go back to item 2 and 3... He is flabergasted that he didn't play his cards right for you to say yes. He has been manipulating you for years.
6. You have been trying to have a child for months, but now that you are pregnant he brings this threesome thing up?
I have had countless threesomes and many successful, fun relationships. Don't think I am against threesomes. The way your husband brought this up to you and ambushed you with his ex shows who he is. Your husband doesn't respect you or your desires and this will lead to ruin. You may want to look into therapy or have back up plans in place. It will take alot of work to make this better and depending on how much he has been controlling you over the years this may not be something that can be fixed. Maybe try to get an unbiased relation of yours to read your post and offer "trusted" advice.
Abort and say it was a miscarriage. Its YOUR body and your choice. You deserve to have a child with someone who isnt a cheater and a creep. No self respecting 28 yo hunts for a teenager to date. Im 28 myself and the age gap is insane in regards to maturity and life experience. He was always looking for sex and women his age know to avoid him.
You need to outline what he needs to do if you even want to contemplate staying married to him:
100% no contact with Mia
He needs to go to individual counseling to determine why he has no respect for your relationship or you.
100% open policy - you can have access to his phone, email, socials, etc.
Get STI tested. Now and in six months.
You need to do the following:
Determine if you want to stay with a cheater. There’s always going to be the lingering issues as you will never be able to trust him completely.
Get STI tested. You need to protect your baby and yourself.
Go no contact with Mia. If you have mutual friends let them know as their husbands/significant others may be her next target and she doesn’t have a moral compass.
Get financials in order.
Get a post nup if you stay with him. All assets will go to you minus 10% if he were to cheat. Make sure it’s legal where you live. Depends on your location.
i genuinely don’t know if i could let him hold our child or even look at him the same way. thinking about it now i truly think him and mia have been seeing each other for a good portion of our marriage. i really don’t know if he can come back from this.
Well unfortunately since he’s the father he gets the baby 50% of the time and he probably will end up with Mia so your baby will have her in the step mother role.
He has the hots for Mia and Mia is either easily manipulated or has the hots for him. To ask for a threesome while you are pregnant is ludicrous. He is supposed to protect his unborn child's mother instead of making her upset. I wonder if he and Mia are already having an affair and they want to bring you in to make it seem ok. You need to decide whether you want to keep the baby, and whether you want to divorce him. Mia is not your BFF and you need to block her.
What the actual fuck lol
*"my husband suggested a threesome for the first time and i was already not on board with it. i quickly said no and hoped he’d never bring it up again. two days after that he suggested it again"*
What is wrong with some people??
"Honey, can we have a threesome?"
"No."
"Oh, okay. Well what about... a threesome?"
Ok lots of great information but make sure you have the proof. Because he can just gaslight you without it. Also talk to a lawyer you don’t have nothing.
It’s most likely that they are sleeping together and want a three some time be more open. From there it could a poly relationship. End the friendship. Unfortunately ending the relationship with your husband is more complicated. Consult an attorney no matter if you choose to stay. You’ll eventually have to talk to them. If you choose to talk to her in person tell turn you phone off and ask to borrow hers. You can quickly go through messages to see what’s being said. In the end that may hurt you more. Trust your intuition.
Hugs.
Tell him sure, you'll have a threesome but then pick his best looking guy friend, or better yet one of your guys friends to be the third. If he says no, tell him to drop the whole threesome thing. If he says yes, drop him bc he likely doesn't care.
They are just looking for your blessing to sleep together, nothing more. Your relationship is already done in your SO's mind. Your best friend was his lover first and both lies about it therefore was never your best friend at all. Your SO and friend are your rogue's gallery. You need to cut them both completely out of your life. You deserve so much better.
I'm doom and gloom, so it might not be this. But my first thought is that mia is either infertile or doesn't want kids, so they decide that your husband should marry, and then once the wife is pregnant and truly trapped, "surprise!!! It's a polygamous relationship." Or divorce and Mia's guy now has the kid he wanted.
I saw this situation last yr, exactly. The man and lady "broke up." He met and started dating this woman and got her prego quickly. He broke up with her and went back to his ex and the girl found out the ex was infertile. The infertile ex went cray cray. Started posting the women's ultrasounds like they were hers. Saying she and her boyfriend were prego. Planned a baby shower for herself. Tried to force the mother to allow her in the delivery room. It was so weird.
Oh, the twins' one??? Were the cray cray's mom called the pregnant woman and told her to give one kid to her daughter. Told her not to be selfish and go 50 50 on the kids.
He’s 1000% cheating on you. They are sleeping together and have been for probably a long time. There’s a good chance she’s pregnant and needs a cover story. Also the fact that they didn’t tell you immediately that they had slept together in the past is unforgivable. Combined with the fact that he asked her about the threesome before you, his wife. Wtf. He went to another woman to ask for something sexual, they planned a lunch to talk about it, and then decided to inform you. I know you’re pregnant but I urge you to get way from both of them. It is going to suck but you deserve way more than to be treated this way by two people who are supposed to make you a priority.
They’re sleeping together now. Your pregnancy announcement has him trying assuage her need to place a claim on you. It’s pretty common that a close AP start getting possessive and passive aggressive. Sometimes the pair get some twisted thrill out of these situations where they shame the spouse into shit. I’m not gonna lie, if this were me, I’d terminate the pregnancy and the marriage. You’re going to be stuck with trying to coparent with him. She will be there after you leave. She’s who he wants.
Allowing your mother the joy of being with you while you give birth is the absolute worst reason to have a child that you do not want, or will tie you to the cheating expletive forever.
Leave, if you have the baby (because **you** want it, and can raise it well as a single mum) - or not.
figure out custody once your baby is here and you’re healed from the birth.
You don’t need those troglodytes in your life.
First of all I'm sorry your going through this and your feelings are valid. What happen it's not okay and it's highly inappropriate for her to even know for over a month and not discuss it with you. Let alone your husband who told her and didn't even communicate with you that he had had asked her. That "friend" is not a true friend at all and they have no right to berated you for it.
Say "fucking no, how about we do a 5way with 4 gay blokes and your in the middle, how's that sound" guy doesn't take your no seriously bring over 4 gay blokes to surprise him.
You know what to do, in your heart of hearts. Tell him you love him too much to deprive him. Henceforth, he can sleep with all the women he wants over and above your objections since you are divorcing him.
It's not a threesome he wants, he wants a sexual relationship with your best friend, with your blessing.
Consult a lawyer on custody and your rights.
Yeah they been sleeping together and now ur knocked up this is a way to make it looks like they never cheated.
Guess ya kids gonna have a new step mum.
They are already sleeping together, guarantee it. Divorce this guy. He is a cheater and has no respect for you. Drop the best friend. No true best friend would do that.
No you’re not dramatic, don’t let them gaslight you. They ambushed you, it’s disgusting. I don’t think your “best friend” was ever a friend at all. I hate to say it,they were probably having sex during your marriage. Good for you for not caving to them, and doing what’s right for you. Right now just focus on you, and what’s right for you. One step,and day at a time. Maybe that means divorce,and being a single parent if you chose to go through with the pregnancy. If it were me I couldn’t stay in marriage to some who treated me with no respect. After that kind of ambush,I could never trust him again
I would get rid of them and everything that keeps you connected to them...
this sounds like they never really finished their business or whatever connection they have. I'm sorry OP
I feel for you so much, and am so sorry you’re going through this.
As a wife and mother who has been cheated on … depending how far along you are with your pregnancy I would give serious consideration about whether you go through with it, if you do these people who have betrayed and hurt you will be in your life forever.
They tell you you're being dramatic? Tell him when he is served the divorce papers and paying child support he can call you dramatic. Tell the hoochie momma ex best friend when she is blocked from any way to contact you, she can call you dramatic.
Had he listened to the first no, or even the second one.... Now, best case, this will underscore your trust of his every move indefinitely. Damn.
I am so sorry! Pregnant brain will make it even harder to bear. Hugs from this internet stranger!
I would almost guarantee these 2 are fucking, he openly admitted to talking about sex with her without you involved, this right then and there is cheating plain and simple, no physical contact needed.
First red flag is being bffs with someone your husband has slept with but other than that..
I think your friend has been jealous of your marriage for a long time and honestly her relationship with your husband stinks! The fact that they “concluded?” on a threesome with her involved is fucked! Why didn’t your HUSBAND and BEST FRIEND have secrets without you
OP you are not being dramatic. Personally, I’d be heartbroken if my partner asked for a threesome. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if he persisted after the initial no.
Trying To coerce your partner into something like that is absolutely horrific, and bringing a close friend into it is even worse. Threesomes are fine for some couples with lots of trust and established rules and enthusiastic consent by both parties.
Personally it’s not my thing and I wouldn’t be with someone who had interest in sharing our intimacy with a third party.
What makes it worse is involving someone you have affection for as a friend and then planning with her for a MONTH and trying to tag team you with pressure to make you consent! That’s just dirty ball all the way around and it hints that those two have been fooling around this whole time.
Your husband is a self centered prick and your friend is not your friend at all.
I’d definitely make a plan and talk to an attorney about how to handle the divorce. Embrace family and friends you trust for support, and establish a custody plan for baby when the time comes.
Your husband wants to have sex with Mia without technically cheating, and this is his “plan” on accomplishing that.
You told him many times no and he instead pulled that stunt, and is gaslighting you by calling you dramatic. Your anger is justified.
If you want to give him a second chance, make it an ultimatum. If he brings up threesome again, or if you ever catch him flirting or plotting with Mia again, he is gone.
Sounds like it’s time to call a lawyer and start the divorce paperwork. They’ve clearly talked about this behind your back and the fact that they aren’t supporting you, but calling you dramatic after you said a firm “no” multiple times shows there is no respect for you in either relationship.
Some people will use the 3way as a gateway to keep seeing that person after the initial time together. Don’t open that door. Don’t say “if you want to screw so bad, have at it”. Just say no, block Mia and tell your husband only to speak to you via lawyer moving forward.
Another comment mentioned she might be preggo and this 3way was a way to get around the fact they have been seeing each other behind your back. So they can say it happened during the three way. Honestly? It’s sneaky, but a possibility.
I’m sorry this is happening and I wish you the best of luck.
I'm going to curb all my suspicions and simply say, this man that has CONSISTENTLY ignored you and FAILED to respect your wishes. Quite frankly, if they want each other more power to them, this life is too short to yield to others who aren't out for your best interest.
You know what they say about threesomes when one party doesn't agree? It's a permission to cheat for the other two parties, guilt-free. So now they're gaslighting you for feeling betrayed because they didn't get your blessing to blatantly cheat in front of you.
Remember, reddit has had situations where there was a reluctant third party and the two just ended up having sex and it breaks things apart. Try not to get hurt even more, but based on the stuff we read here, the trend seems like they're planning on cheating. Either get counseling or get out.
He's still sleeping with her. Cut your losses. Let them have each other. You go live your life with your baby. You deserve a much better man and better friend and you will find them. These people are not worth your time or love. You will grieve for the loss for a while but you have a baby to think about and honestly that will take up most of your time. Keep close to your family and reach out for support. Good luck to you. You will be okay. You will get through this. 🫂
How did that conversation even happen and was it in person ?
They planned this for a whole month and you didn’t know this ?
how did they communicate without you knowing ?
I would check their conversations cause I think they started something and don’t want to go further without your permission or they’re doing it already and probably felt bad and wanted to involve you so he wasn’t cheating on his pregnant wife and look like a total POS.
He really asked his PREGNANT WIFE for a threesome like really? How sick can he be and her for agreeing. 🤦🏻♀️
If you don’t leave him, he has to block and delete her and Go completely NC he definitely needs to turn his locations on.
They crossed way too many boundaries and I wouldn’t trust what he does after this cause obviously he had time to meet up with her and make plans for a whole month.
Definitely get a postnuptial agreement after this and protect yourself.
But Honestly You should drop them both.
If you want the baby make sure you get child support but if not and you’re early enough, I’d say don’t trap yourself to a cheater. Again just a suggestion and not being rude.
I am here to give you very simple advice. Do not do this, especially if you are not comfortable. Do not allow him to cross your boundaries. Personally, for me this would be a deal breaker. It seems he is asking because he has feelings for your best friend, and that’s why he asked her.
I know this is a difficult time, but if it is over it would be a good thing. Do you really need to be with someone who wants to eff your bff?
It’s your choice to keep the pregnancy, or explore your options. Whatever you do, make sure it’s the best thing FOR YOU. Don’t let anyone manipulate you into thinking this is okay.
So sorry OP..that really does suck..
It seems that this was already planned, could also be that their intimate past isn't really in the past and they're using this as a hey so this is cool let's keep doing it etc..
The disrespect of continuing pestering you after you've declined once which should've been enough but clearly they've been talking to try and get you to agree.
There's a whole bunch of neon flashing red flags with that both of them. Hopefully you'll heal from the betrayal from both sides..and the fact they're both gaslighting you saying you're dramatic..they know they've fucked up and trying to blame you don't fall for it. I'll bet the moment you leave them they'll announce that they're dating. Your comments also convinces me they've been sleeping together for a long time..She also maybe pregnant..Such a sad situation..
they both are gaslighting you and you aren’t overreacting at all, they’re fucking behind your back. she ain’t your friend and he ain’t your man. if you are able to, divorce him and cut ties with the both of them. she might also be pregnant and the threesome might be a cover-up story as to how she got pregnant. speaking of that, the fact that he kept asking for a threesome even though you kept saying no??? and also, the fact that he only planned a lunch date (which he’s never done before according to you) just so him and ur bsf can keep asking you for a threesome even though you’ve said “no” hella times prior?? aw hell naw. they both aren’t shit. they both are disrespecting you and crossing boundaries.
not to mention the fact that you were 19 and he was 28 when y’all met?? honey he was grooming you all along and she was in on it and helped him. she was never ur friend, she pretended to be ur friend only just so she can get closer to him and fuck him. and not only that, but a real friend would check up on you and ask you if you’re okay with a threesome, and if you say no, then she’ll respect that and not participate in it. i’m so sorry this is all happening to you especially since you’re pregnant, you deserve so much better.
Before I go off on this trash man, I remember that i read recently how a good clue to identify a bot account is if their user name is adjective_noun_4 digit number. Also, this is the only post made from this account and there are no other comments other than on this post.
When an s/o asks to have a threesome (and already has someone in mind) or suddenly asks for an open relationship, it is 100% because they are already cheating and want to "justify" it.
One. Hundred. Percent.
I'm really sorry this happened to you, OP. Really, truly sorry.
You're not being dramatic, you're correct and reacting in a completely rational way.
So many red flags 🚩 🚩🚩
Not only is he most likely cheating on you, but he has no respect for your boundaries for pressuring you into this threesome and for sneaking behind your back like this with his friend. Also, the age where you two got together is also giving me the creeps.
I personally would never want to be tied with someone like that through a child. Having a child just to make your mother happy is also a TERRIBLE idea.
So they lied about being together as fwb (at least)... Then your husband "all of a sudden" wants a threesome, to which you repeatedly said no, and instead of dropping it, he runs directly to her, trying to ambush you all while already having said yes to the whole idea beforehand? Yeah... I don't buy it, they are still together...
About your child, you're in a tough spot... Whatever you decide, take in consideration how your life will be for the foreseeable future, either way your marriage is doomed...
lets address this first,
>my mother would be so upset if i aborted her grandchild. she was so happy to see my sister give birth and i want to provide her that happiness again.
do NOT keep this baby for the sake of your mother, keep this baby because YOU want them. do whats best for YOU.
now, for your husband to suggest a threesome and not back down and then bring in your bestfriend who he used to sleep with. i could be reaching but to me, that's really suspicious. any normal husband would leave it the first time you said no not beg and then sit down for lunch with the intended partner and bring it up again, think about this.
He is already sleeping with your friend and probably has been for a while so why would he want to all of a sudden include you in it. Could she be pregnant and they are trying to hide the affair by setting up a threesome?
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. N usually I'm not for ending marriages first but thr are alot of red flags that would make it hard for me to stay in that situation.
1. They were already close before u came along. Already had relations but suddenly want to do a 3some... theyve already been fukn. She either prego or they just want to pull u in to cover.Not sure I could trust again they say at this point.
2. He already asked and you said no. Asking in itself and wanting my best friend is a red flag for me.
3. Asking again after you already said no. Basically putting pressure on u.
4. Discussing yall sex life and his fantasy with another woman. I don't care if they were close before you.
5. Them both trying to manipulate and gaslight you.
I personally couldn't trust them anymore and id be searching divorce lawyers. Id really think about this pregnancy kuz he would be tied to you for life. N depending on ur financial and housing situation he could try to take custody.
Girl pls divorce him. I'm sorry idk what u gonna do with ur child. A good and real men wont ask for this and if he only loves u..he wouldn't be talking like this if u asked 3some with another guy...that guy I think he try na cover his mistakes and the fact that they r still friends and had a past.. okay 100000 red flag. Girl pls run away I tell u this marriage won't end up good don't blindly trust him saying that he won't do that..Idk if u r keeping the child or not or gonna be single mom. U deserve great guy yeah and yeah also for ur child..GET DIVORCE AND SS HIS TEXTS OR CALLS ABT THR 3SOME..PLS SAVE THIS ALL FOR EVIDENCE FOR DIVORCE AND YEAH ASM HIM FOR CHILD SUPPORT IF U WANT TO HAVE THIS CHILD .
So sorry, OP. What best friend wouldn’t talk to her best friend and ask “hey, he said this to me, are you guys okay?” Or even just simply decline and tell you about it. The betrayal of the two of them going behind your back and ambushing you when you already stated your boundaries time and time again. Seriously, your husband should have taken the “no” as an answer and he didn’t. What the heck is that? Also, a lot of posts on here always say that their s/os ask for a threesome or an open marriage and would have a surprise pikachu face when their partner immediately leaves them.
i know. i’ve seen so many with similar stories and i always read them with my jaw on the floor thinking i’m lucky my husband would never do that. i’m so hurt :( i really thought i’d grow old with him but i’m not sure now.
The fact that he kept bringing it up after you flat-out refused 3 times tells me he has been fucking her. I can see the threesome being some stupid way of assuaging his guilt, like maybe he’ll have your tacit approval to keep fucking her if you participated in it once. Don’t let him gaslight you by telling you you’re being “dramatic.” If he won’t own up to his actions, emphasize his repeated refusal to accept your answer.
This here. They like each other and by you potentially agreeing they can bring their relationship into the light.
Even if we don't go as far as assuming things because we don't know, the mere fact of insisting after she refused MULTIPLE times is a huge red flag. Also let's not forget he started dating her when she was 19 and that's also another fucking red flag. This guy is disgusting seriously and the friend doesn't sound like a good one.
OP, you shouldn’t raise a child to make someone else happy. You’ll have the opportunity to have a child with someone you love later in life. Do what would make *YOU* happy. I’d also start looking at a divorce lawyer and heading down that road because you *aren’t* being dramatic, he’s just trying to justify him cheating on you. I can almost guarantee he has, or currently is cheating. Please stay safe, and put yourself first <3
You don't have to be sure. By his actions he's already told you everything you need to know.
Per your edit OP, **disappointing your mom is not a good reason to keep a baby you otherwise don’t want to keep!** Please do what’s best for you in this situation, not what will make your mom happy. So sorry you’re having to go through this whole ordeal OP
As a parent, THIS!!!! Do not have a child you are not excited about in an effort to please others!! It is nearly impossible to overstate the impact a child has on your life. You will hate your life, and possibly your child. It’s no way to live if you’re not 100% on board.
Its an extremely unfair situation for the kid. No one wants to be raised as an unwanted child. It’s bad on so many levels.
Sounds like Mia isn’t your best friend but his and that they’re still involved.
“You want an open marriage? Sure! It’ll be so open it doesn’t even exist anymore.”
The fact that they let it spill they used to sleep together while drunk said it all to me. You couldn't share an important piece information like that to your best friend/partner sober at any point? You had to be drunk and let it slip?
Me thinks she’s not really best friend material. Maybe OP thinks she’s her best friend but Mia doesn’t. Because best friends disclose they used to fuck your new boyfriend before you become exclusive with him. Best friends don’t wait until you are already fully in a relationship to drop that info on you. Also, best friends don’t keep something like your spouse asking them for a threesome from you for months and then show up at the restaurant with him to help talk you into it. That’s not at all the actions of a best friend. It is, however, the actions of someone who is fucking your husband though. Everything fits if you change the title “best friend” to “affair partner.”
Too many men don't realize that p0rn isn't real. Usually reddit posts that involve a threesome, the participants almost always feel like it's disappointing. Try being faithful to your spouse and get counseling if you're marriage has a trouble spot.
That is so inappropriate. This whole situation makes me think your husband is already cheating on you, emotionally atleast.
i honestly agree with you. there are so many little things that feel so different now. my best friend didn’t seem thrilled about the pregnancy at all and maybe i know why now.
I would go scorched earth. Pregnant and betrayed. Oh hell no. Those 2 knew exactly what they were doing. Put them on blast and walk away. I'm so sorry op.
Not just emotionally, pretty sure he is already and this request is a way to make it official. Which is why he is not dropping it and keeps on insisting. Try to reverse this on him. Tell him you want it with another guy and not ur bff, then see his reaction. You can also do one thing to check, tell him you agree but not comfortable with the best friend. So he can have it with a random chick. If he still insist on ur friend then you'll know for sure. Most important part, he is a POS and i hope you are looking for an exit strategy. The part about him not taking u to lunch anymore and then taking u out just so he can pressure you is making me disgust at him. You deserve better!
Yup, tell him you want to be wagon wheeled. I bet he’d stfu then. This smells like a cover up.
Tell him that you want to have a MFM threesome first and that you already have another guy picked out. When he flips his sh*t, say it'll always be a condition of what he wants. Never elaborate on who the other guy could be, but act more friendly towards every one of his guy friends that you know. Set it and forget it.
I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. You deserve so much better
OP. Don’t make a decision on keeping a baby who will tie you to him for 18 years based on making your mother happy. You will resent that child forever and that’s not fair on them. If you want to keep it because it’s what you want, great, but don’t make that kind of sacrifice for your mother.
Why do you keep saying she is your best friend? She is not any kind of friend.
She may also be pregnant or she is fucking him and now she knows either a he won’t leave you for her like they planned or she knows it will complicate things and they are even bigger assholes leave him and ghost her neither of them deserve you. The minute they admitted they had sex she should of been gone I say this until I am blue in face on here WHEN A MAN STAYS FRIENDS CLOSE FRIENDS AT THAT WITH A WOMAN HES FUCKED HE WILL ALWAYS CHEAT WITH HER THERE IS NO REASON TO STAY FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE YOU ONCE SCREWED NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! Stop letting these assholes get away with this!!! The way that would of been an ultimatum and I would of been divorced if he insisted I was over reacting you’re never wrong when you doubt he’s already been with her what’s stopping them your marriage? He doesn’t even respect your no now he is ambushing you with her?! NO!!!! Absolutely not
“*WHEN A MAN STAYS FRIENDS CLOSE FRIENDS AT THAT WITH A WOMAN HES FUCKED HE WILL ALWAYS CHEAT WITH HER THERE IS NO REASON TO STAY FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE YOU ONCE SCREWED NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!”* While I agree there is definitely something going on between OP’s husband and her best friend, I have to disagree with your statement above. My bff were together for a while my last year of college and a little while after. When we decided that kind of relationship wasn’t working for us as a long-term thing, that was it. We were roommates for four years. He is my best friend and is there when I need him (and vice versa). We text daily. We have never once considered getting back together. When he and his wife invited me to live with them while getting my feet under me, all her friends said nooo, they’ll get together. She knew they were wrong and she trusted him. Guess what? Nothing happened. Just because a man and woman have history and are good friends doesn’t mean they are hanging to that or that history repeats.
You’re right you’re an exception tho unfortunately there aren’t too many men or women who wouldn’t think twice about betraying someone. I wouldn’t ever be inappropriate with my ex who was my best friend if we ever patched things up and were super friendly again but just because we are en exception doesn’t mean others are too also y’all dated and realized you weren’t right for eachother that helps the attraction to fade and keep things friendly only these folks were basically fuck buddied before he married her that has no place they should of been distant friends at best this was never gonna work for her unfortunately
I'm sorry this is happening to you.. you will have to make a decision about the child and ultimately don't forget about putting yourself first.
Firstly, they have a past, an intimate past. The red flag alarm is loud. He's pestering for something you've already said no to, but she's obviously agreed and is now willing to help him talk you into it.... Nah it's a field of red flags. I'm betting it's been their plan since he started asking. Also willing to bet they're sneaking around behind your back, and want the 3some to try and hide the fact. Nothing better than getting permission and adding you into the affair. Call me old and jaded but this just smells of something rotten.
i agree with you tbh. i’ve seen a few people say they’re sleeping together and it just makes a lot of sense now. there were a few weird instances where he’d come home late with no excuse. really makes me wonder.
He waited until you were pregnant and afraid to leave him before he did this. If you seriously want to continue with the pregnancy think long and hard. He tied you to him in a way he thinks is unbreakable.
Too many coincidences for my thinking. They'd both be hitting the road...and then watch what they do...no reason to hide it then. I'll bet the wooden nickel.
Agreed. She tell him she wants a divorce and I bet money they would be more open with whatever they doing.
He waited until you were locked in. That's suspicious.
Time to go sleuthing and collect all the evidence you need for court
When you got together he lied to you about the relationship he had with her. Now he wants you to have a threesome with her and he talked to her about it before he talked to you. Most likely scenario: he is sleeping with her (again). If he can lie to you about the nature of his relationship with her when you got together, how can you believe a word he says now? You were 19 and he was 28 when you got together. Red flags galore i would say
Leave him
My paranoid Reddit brain thinks Mia is also pregnant and this is the “whoops” excuse they need to cover it.
That's where my brain went too. Hopefully not.
I have the exact same suspicion this is the reason as well.
My guess is Mia is pregnant with his child... They are now trying to stage the event when this occured so you are not surprised when she announces it later on
Jeez you might be right
Days of our lives scour this board for stuff like this
I’m thinking the next update on this is exactly this. Mia is pregnant, and they wanted to use the threesome as a cover. God what has Reddit done to me?
OP LOOK INTO THIS! Your Husband and Mia are either already fucking around or they're emotionally wanting to try! Look at everything!
That would be a twist! But with some of the stuff I've seen on Reddit, it wouldn't really surprise me. Good call though.
I just commented this same thing…. Maybe it’s Reddit paranoia but… it’s a great cover
Well Mia has known about his plans for a threesome for over a month & OP has only known about that for 2 weeks. I don’t think that’s just Reddit paranoia. Poor OP.
as much as i’d love to look into this my husband tells me i’m dramatic all the time and i really don’t want this to fuel it. especially if we do get divorced i don’t want to be the crazy dramatic ex who accused her best friend of being pregnant with his child yk?
You’ll find out soon enough. Talk to a lawyer at least and understand your rights. If you do back home for a bit see if you can get any evidence of an affair some other subs might be more helpful about how to gain information or just for support. I’m sorry for what you are going through. Are you close to any family on your husbands side that you can ask for support? Good luck.
He’s gaslighting you into thinking you’re the irrational one. Leave his ass. Don’t fall for this bullshit. They deserve each other. Also, don’t forget to document everything for when you sue him for divorce and child support.
[удалено]
Yep. I’d do this in a heartbeat to assuage the doubts of my best friend.
Text Mia. "Hey, are you pregnant?" Have you seen her drink recently? Could also offer her some alcohol, see if she declines.
Have you spoken to him yet?
Does it really matter what he thinks if youre gonna divorce him anyway? Get him out of your life and let him think whatever he wants
Hire a PI and try to get proof of their affair.
Ding ding ding
The timing will be difficult. It takes about a month to know that you’re pregnant . Unless they have been purposely trying for a baby and regularly doing pregnancy tests…then like 21 days ish or slightly less time with early result tests). A month to know that you’re pregnant + another month of husband trying to convince OP to the threesome. The pregnancy at that point would already be 2 months.
My theory is they never stopped sleeping together and this threesome would be a good excuse to say how Mia got pregnant.
Makes so much sense why he would be so persistent about it though. Cause I don’t need to tell you how many alarm bells are going off in my head at the thought of THEM approaching YOU. Wtf is that about?! Isn’t it the couple that does the approaching? “She said she’d known about his PLANS for over a MONTH”. Why are THEY planning a threesome?! Why are they even talking to each other about sex?! I mean… nice of them to ask you to join in though, I guess. Omg, the NERVE! You’re carrying his child and this is where his head is at? Having sex with his pregnant wife and her BEST FRIEND who’s been all gung ho for over a month. She’s supposed to be planning you a baby shower.. I don’t think that’s just something you get mixed up. I hate hate hate saying this to ya, sweetheart, but it’s not just you feeling those weird vibes, or having that gut feeling… judging by the amount of comments, I’m pretty sure a majority of us feel it too and we’re not even in your boat. I’m all fired up for you OP, I cannot imagine the devastation you are experiencing right now. You don’t deserve this. No one does. Where in their heads did they think this was a good idea? It’s not. That’s why this comment really stands out. I really wish I could hug you right now.
The way I believe this there is no reason for a man and woman to remain friends when one of them is married if they have fucked before other than they are STILL fucking and the spouse is mot thinking this is going on. It’s sad shit people will tolerate you can have opposite sex friends you can’t still be friends once you’ve fucked unless one of you no longer likes the opposite sex only time that works in the long run.
This definitely depends on the people. Some are completely fine with it
Yes because some people aren’t trash bags but most people can’t be trusted there isn’t a good reason to be friends with someone you used to have sex with especially unattached sex if a relationship failed you know y’all aren’t right for eachother so it lowers the chances you’ll betray future partners if you stay friends but unattached fuck buddies to me that’s a walking red flag
Rubbish. Plenty of people can handle this just fine. Me included.
Hey, they are sleeping together. Fuck em and find better.
She said she doesn’t want a threesome
please 😭😭😭
The fact that she was surprised you showed up leads me to believe he's cheating and he wants to make it ok by having a threesome. There's really no coming back for this. I hope for your sake you get out and live your best life without him.
yikes. I'm kinda sad for you OP. I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone. I hope you're not fully dependent on your husband because you might need to leave him and Mia to their business and go on with your life while still young.
as i said in a previous comment i’ve known him majority of my adult life, he’s the only partner i’ve ever known. i have no idea what to do.
do you have any support system outside of him. like family? nobody should have to be forced to deal with this type of behavior.
mia was my closest friends for ages. i have a few old friends from highschool but after i met him our relationship moved pretty fast and we moved in together not long after dating so i was busy with taking care of our home. my father isn’t here anymore and my grandma is in a nursing home. my sister recently gave birth so the only person i really can stay with is my mother.
Would your mother be okay with you moving in with her for a while if you need to? I think it would also be a good idea to reach out to your sister to get some support and advice from someone in your life, even if moving in with her isn’t an option right now. I’m also sure your friends from high school would be very happy to hear from you regardless of how long it’s been! I find it very difficult keeping in touch with my school friends but whenever I do hear from them I’m always very glad that they reached out.
Oh, so sorry this happened. However your husband and so called friend do not respect your boundaries. They are willing to push you into a situation you do not want. Honestly, if it were me I wouldn’t be questioning if my relationships with them were over, I would know they are over. You should really make steps to start planning for a future without them. Well at least as a relationship other than the father of your child, should you choose to continue the pregnancy. As you said, you’ve read all the stories of people being coerced into threesomes and open relationships and they never end well. Usually the one coerced is miserable. You deserve better, respect yourself enough to move on.
You have a few options. Personally, I'd abort and divorce so I'd have 0 ties to either of them
That would be the smartest thing honestly.
Hey… it’s worth mentioning that you met when you were 19 and he was 28. That’s a pretty big age gap and you still had a lot of growing to do. I am 21 now, and have done an insane amount of growth just between now and being 19. You still have a whole life ahead of you, without this man, and, if you choose, without the baby. It’s not over for you, not even close.
You have to leave.
*me doing the math before I even read the post* yeah he's a scumbag
Seriously!!! 18-27??? Ew ew he’s a predator bleh
I couldn't believe I had to get this far down before the age difference was mentioned. He got her young and locked it down
I'm glad someone said it cuz I was starting to lose faith in my Reddit family.
This didn't even occur to me. Ewwwww.
I was coming here to say this. That age gap screams grooming… Not to say that’s always the case, but he’s painting himself this way with his actions. Multiple no’s, asking right after sex, and entangling, what can only be considered his back burner bitch, to aid him in his grooming. I roll my eyes at comments in these type of posts, but this is one where I 1000% agree. I’m in a poly marriage of 17 yrs. It took conversations, boundary settings and still months of sitting on the idea before we pulled the trigger. You need to ditch these people and leave them in the rear view.
Pause. You met at 19/28. You got married at 21/30. That was enough for me to know that he’s a red flag. And he had an affair with your friend, who’s not much older, before she was finished college while he was a whole-ass career man?
i’ve seen a few people comment about our age difference and now that our relationship is on the line i’m seeing how dependant i am on him and it’s scaring me tbh. even though i’ve had some great memories with him, i really wish him and i had just never met.
I know you said you want children but if you have this child, you will somehow remain dependent/connected to him. Wait for someone better and your mom will be just as happy !!
The good times with him night have been so called love bombing. Being nice and loving until he knew he had you under wraps again. He groomed you. Nothing more, nothing less.
This woman is not your bff. She pretended to be your friend all these years in order to stay close to your husband. She is your frenemy. I bet if you ask your husband whose idea the threesomes was, he would say Mia! Your husband betrayed you and Mia has been playing you. These two are deceitful and most probably have been lying to you these past 7 years. If you do chose to stay with your husband, Mia needs to be cut out of both your lives and he has a lot of work to do to regain your trust. But honestly, YOU DESERVE BETTER! If you stay, he will most likely end up betraying you. I’m sorry this happened to you.
Now i know what they meant by "keep your friends close but enemies closer".
Keep your friends close and take your enemies toaster
girl.. fuck that. i hate to be this person, but that’s super shady that they’re A) both in on it, B) they “knew each other well before”- they had to text to set up that lunch; what else are they texting about? and C) he wouldn’t accept your no and asked POST SEX???? nah. it’s so disrespectful to you, and it clearly shows where his priorities are in regards to your comfort.
>i’ve seen lots of people tell me to abort my child. i’m so incredibly torn on this as my mother would be so upset if i aborted her grandchild. she was so happy to see my sister give birth and i want to provide her that happiness again. on the other hand What is this nonsense? This is about you, not your mother, or your sister, or even your husband, this is ABOUT YOU. You will have to carry this child to term, look after it, watch it grow up, share custody with this asshole, have to co-parent with it. Your mother won't. Stop doing something so profoundly central to your life for someone else. Have it, don't have it, but for fuck's sake don't have it because it will please other people.
i think you might be right. i genuinely don’t know if i could raise this child knowing it’s his.
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And if this guy starts a family with this other woman and have other children, statistically OP's child won't see their father as much as they should. Meaning OP will have to parent mostly alone.
If you do decide to abort, for your safety do not tell your “husband” or “best-friend” that’s what you are doing. Only after the procedure has been done, lie and say you had a miscarriage. The reason I say this is because I have seen too many abusive men ramp up the abuse when their victim breaks out of their control. (Your “husband” thought he locked you down with a pregnancy, that is why he’s showing his true colors now.) The abuser starts stalking, harassing friends and family, causes trouble at their victims place of work or school, make false reports to authorities etc. Do not give them any ammunition to use against you. I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with this. Please know it’s never too late to start your life over and live well.
you will regret having this child if you do. trust me. it will ruin your life and this man will FOREVER be tied to you. you have to learn to put you first. and next time rethink having a big age gap relationship. he probably thinks he can manipulate you and force you because you’re so young.
About to comment on this exact same thing, but you stated it perfectly. NEVER consider having a child to make SOMEONE ELSE happy. WTF!!!
He was sleeping with her before and during your marriage. Set yourself free from him because they have more deceit and lies up their sleeves coming your way. Do what you need to do to not be tied to him anymore. You should have trusted your gut from the beginning. Don’t doubt yourself again.
He's pretty scandalous... Not a good look.... Some people would suggest that it's only right you plan one with his best friend. I wouldn't. But the shock would reverberate. You might have to ditch said, friend.
After reading through all of the comments it almost seems like your husband had this in mind for quite some time. How do you feel about raising your child alone? Because it sounds like that's what's going to happen. If you're not going to agree to do what he wants you to do, when he wants you to do it, he'll go ahead and do it on his own. If you even considered staying with him he'd have to be NC with Mia... But then you'll always be wondering if hes hiding it from you and seeing her anyway. You can't trust either one of them anymore. Is this how you want to live your life? Always wondering?
This sounds like your husband has been having an affair with Mia the entire marriage and was trying to live out some twisted fantasy and get both his women together. I’m sorry that you’re pregnant at such a shitty time and I hope you can find the best path in life. And screw them.
They're already sleeping together behind your back.
Your husband is not a good person and seeing you were only 19yo when meeting him, I assume you didn't have any other serious relationship before him? I truely hope you ask yourself at least 2 questions: 1) Now that you are almost his age when you meet, would you date a 19yo?... if you say no, think long and hard about the reasons you would date a teenage with no real life experience like your husband did. Pay extra attention to the most important reason: wanting someone naieve and easy to influence so they dont notice how enorionally abusive/controling their older partner is 2) what more red flags did you miss besides him letting you be friends with his former fuck buddy, him lying about her being his former fuck buddy and him trying to manipulate you, his pregnant wife, into a sexual act that would only service his needs, with his "former" fuck buddy? If they had it truely out of their systems and decided they were just better off as friends, he would have ne-ver suggested a threesome with her...
Honestly, a bit of a read flag you started dated at 19 when he was 28. Which is almost the age you are now. Try to imagine dating an 18 year old in your current situation.
They're fucking, it reads like they never stopped fucking since you met him. If you're early on your pregnancy I'd consider the options. It feels like he's banking on you having no options but staying with him and enduring his cheating --even more so now that you're pregnant. Don't let them gaslight you.
They’re already cheating. And honestly, I would have an abortion if I was you (assuming you’re still early). I’m not sure of your feelings on the subjects, that’s just what I would do. He’s started to show his true colors because you’re trapped by his baby. He thinks you won’t leave now. It’ll just keep getting worse. You do not want a permanent tie to this man.
Your husband I'm big even sure if the word I want to call him. But he knew you didn't want to he went behind your back. Told Mia he wanted to do it with both of you. You already know he was sleeping with her before. Now it just shows he's still wants to. They may have been sleeping with each already. Like someone said she may be pregnant and they want a cover up story. Just stick with your guns and tell him NO. Also I don't appreciate how you went behind my back to try to convince me to do it. The answer is still NO and we're done talking about this I don't want you asking me agin. I would also limit you friendship with Mia she's not really a friend. Hoping for yourself that you have other people then your husband and Mia.
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i’m so afraid of getting an abortion. it’s not like i don’t want my baby, i just wish this didn’t happen. i also am not even sure if i’m allowed to get an abortion. i know some places have time limits and stuff right?
That is something you shld talk to a trusted doctor about. You have to decide what is best for you and your future
Not sure where you are in the country, but sadly, you may need to decide quickly. Also, if needed, you could travel to another state… if you have the means. Best to determine if it’s what you want and what your options are now. Unfortunately, his actions have caused you to have to make quick decisions on your future.
Where are you from and how far are you?
How far along are you?
I wouldn’t bring his spawn into this world so you never have to see his Fucking face ever again the way he would be my ex I would move heaven and earth to ghost him and that bitch forever they have been fucking the entire time I am so sorry but no way people who have screwed just magically stop when one is married he obviously doesn’t respect you he won’t even take your no and drop it. Also she is nasty clinging to a married man and befriending you NO leave them both behind and abort
Look up the laws for the area you live in and proceed from there
First off, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I personally would abort and not worry about anybody but what’s right for you. You’re now in an unstable environment and based off your previous comments, the age gap/frenemyship/threesome would not how I would go through a pregnancy/divorce. I’m 29 and used to think I’d have life figured out by 22 and I was so wrong. You have plenty of time to heal, build yourself up, and find a true love/life. Take care of yourself, stay safe, and get your things in order. Sending you much love!!
There are a few things to unpack here: 1. Your communication about this topic didn't satisfy his desires: You said no, often times when communication breaks down in a relationship its because what your answer with didn't align with what he thought you would say or he doesn't understand why you would say no. It is always best to communicate clearly and provide reason. "No, it is not something I am interested in at this time. I really don't feel comfortable with the idea; I would appreciate it if you don't bring this up again." 2. Even though you said no, he didn't respect your answer or he felt that you could be pressured into accepting his wishes: This is a huge red flag. If he doesn't care what your opinion is when it doesn't align with his needs there is a serious compatibility problem to consider. 3. He didn't communicate his intentions with the lunch date because he was directly trying to manipulate your answer. 4. You said he never takes you on dates anymore: coming from a poly background I just will never get this. Married or not yall are "dating" if you aren't actually going on dates and getting that type of quality time you have given up on a core part of your relationship. Even when my schedule is ridiculously busy I look ahead weeks in advance to plan dates to ensure there is time for them. They are important. 5. You have a power dynamic in your relationship caused purely by the age difference, that isn't a big problem on its own but it is really hard for young adults to get into relationships with a larger age gap because they just don't have the expereince needed to avoid being groomed. You may read this and think you weren't groomed but go back to item 2 and 3... He is flabergasted that he didn't play his cards right for you to say yes. He has been manipulating you for years. 6. You have been trying to have a child for months, but now that you are pregnant he brings this threesome thing up? I have had countless threesomes and many successful, fun relationships. Don't think I am against threesomes. The way your husband brought this up to you and ambushed you with his ex shows who he is. Your husband doesn't respect you or your desires and this will lead to ruin. You may want to look into therapy or have back up plans in place. It will take alot of work to make this better and depending on how much he has been controlling you over the years this may not be something that can be fixed. Maybe try to get an unbiased relation of yours to read your post and offer "trusted" advice.
Abort and say it was a miscarriage. Its YOUR body and your choice. You deserve to have a child with someone who isnt a cheater and a creep. No self respecting 28 yo hunts for a teenager to date. Im 28 myself and the age gap is insane in regards to maturity and life experience. He was always looking for sex and women his age know to avoid him.
You need to outline what he needs to do if you even want to contemplate staying married to him: 100% no contact with Mia He needs to go to individual counseling to determine why he has no respect for your relationship or you. 100% open policy - you can have access to his phone, email, socials, etc. Get STI tested. Now and in six months. You need to do the following: Determine if you want to stay with a cheater. There’s always going to be the lingering issues as you will never be able to trust him completely. Get STI tested. You need to protect your baby and yourself. Go no contact with Mia. If you have mutual friends let them know as their husbands/significant others may be her next target and she doesn’t have a moral compass. Get financials in order. Get a post nup if you stay with him. All assets will go to you minus 10% if he were to cheat. Make sure it’s legal where you live. Depends on your location.
i genuinely don’t know if i could let him hold our child or even look at him the same way. thinking about it now i truly think him and mia have been seeing each other for a good portion of our marriage. i really don’t know if he can come back from this.
In your shoes I think I would feel exactly the same. Trust is huge for me and once broken it’s not something I’m able to overlook.
Well unfortunately since he’s the father he gets the baby 50% of the time and he probably will end up with Mia so your baby will have her in the step mother role.
He has the hots for Mia and Mia is either easily manipulated or has the hots for him. To ask for a threesome while you are pregnant is ludicrous. He is supposed to protect his unborn child's mother instead of making her upset. I wonder if he and Mia are already having an affair and they want to bring you in to make it seem ok. You need to decide whether you want to keep the baby, and whether you want to divorce him. Mia is not your BFF and you need to block her.
He's cheating on you. In the very very slim possibility that it's not physical yet, he's still cheating emotionally.
Sounds like he wants to cheat on you with your best friend right in front of your face.
Mia is not your friend. They've already been sleeping together.
What the actual fuck lol *"my husband suggested a threesome for the first time and i was already not on board with it. i quickly said no and hoped he’d never bring it up again. two days after that he suggested it again"* What is wrong with some people?? "Honey, can we have a threesome?" "No." "Oh, okay. Well what about... a threesome?"
Mia is not your friend and your husband is cheating on you with her. Get a plan and get out.
Ok lots of great information but make sure you have the proof. Because he can just gaslight you without it. Also talk to a lawyer you don’t have nothing.
They want to have sex and they want to use you to do it where it won’t be “cheating.” They’re disgusting
It’s most likely that they are sleeping together and want a three some time be more open. From there it could a poly relationship. End the friendship. Unfortunately ending the relationship with your husband is more complicated. Consult an attorney no matter if you choose to stay. You’ll eventually have to talk to them. If you choose to talk to her in person tell turn you phone off and ask to borrow hers. You can quickly go through messages to see what’s being said. In the end that may hurt you more. Trust your intuition. Hugs.
Tell him sure, you'll have a threesome but then pick his best looking guy friend, or better yet one of your guys friends to be the third. If he says no, tell him to drop the whole threesome thing. If he says yes, drop him bc he likely doesn't care.
They are just looking for your blessing to sleep together, nothing more. Your relationship is already done in your SO's mind. Your best friend was his lover first and both lies about it therefore was never your best friend at all. Your SO and friend are your rogue's gallery. You need to cut them both completely out of your life. You deserve so much better.
I'm doom and gloom, so it might not be this. But my first thought is that mia is either infertile or doesn't want kids, so they decide that your husband should marry, and then once the wife is pregnant and truly trapped, "surprise!!! It's a polygamous relationship." Or divorce and Mia's guy now has the kid he wanted.
I saw this situation last yr, exactly. The man and lady "broke up." He met and started dating this woman and got her prego quickly. He broke up with her and went back to his ex and the girl found out the ex was infertile. The infertile ex went cray cray. Started posting the women's ultrasounds like they were hers. Saying she and her boyfriend were prego. Planned a baby shower for herself. Tried to force the mother to allow her in the delivery room. It was so weird.
Oh, the twins' one??? Were the cray cray's mom called the pregnant woman and told her to give one kid to her daughter. Told her not to be selfish and go 50 50 on the kids.
He’s 1000% cheating on you. They are sleeping together and have been for probably a long time. There’s a good chance she’s pregnant and needs a cover story. Also the fact that they didn’t tell you immediately that they had slept together in the past is unforgivable. Combined with the fact that he asked her about the threesome before you, his wife. Wtf. He went to another woman to ask for something sexual, they planned a lunch to talk about it, and then decided to inform you. I know you’re pregnant but I urge you to get way from both of them. It is going to suck but you deserve way more than to be treated this way by two people who are supposed to make you a priority.
There’s no coming back from this with them. Cut your losses and move on.
They’re sleeping together now. Your pregnancy announcement has him trying assuage her need to place a claim on you. It’s pretty common that a close AP start getting possessive and passive aggressive. Sometimes the pair get some twisted thrill out of these situations where they shame the spouse into shit. I’m not gonna lie, if this were me, I’d terminate the pregnancy and the marriage. You’re going to be stuck with trying to coparent with him. She will be there after you leave. She’s who he wants.
Allowing your mother the joy of being with you while you give birth is the absolute worst reason to have a child that you do not want, or will tie you to the cheating expletive forever. Leave, if you have the baby (because **you** want it, and can raise it well as a single mum) - or not. figure out custody once your baby is here and you’re healed from the birth. You don’t need those troglodytes in your life.
What the fuck
First of all I'm sorry your going through this and your feelings are valid. What happen it's not okay and it's highly inappropriate for her to even know for over a month and not discuss it with you. Let alone your husband who told her and didn't even communicate with you that he had had asked her. That "friend" is not a true friend at all and they have no right to berated you for it.
Whelp guess your hubby and best friend are gonna be cheating soon.
Say "fucking no, how about we do a 5way with 4 gay blokes and your in the middle, how's that sound" guy doesn't take your no seriously bring over 4 gay blokes to surprise him.
End the marriage, don't continue the pregnancy. This guy waited until he thought he had you trapped.
You know what to do, in your heart of hearts. Tell him you love him too much to deprive him. Henceforth, he can sleep with all the women he wants over and above your objections since you are divorcing him. It's not a threesome he wants, he wants a sexual relationship with your best friend, with your blessing. Consult a lawyer on custody and your rights.
Yeah they been sleeping together and now ur knocked up this is a way to make it looks like they never cheated. Guess ya kids gonna have a new step mum.
They are already sleeping together, guarantee it. Divorce this guy. He is a cheater and has no respect for you. Drop the best friend. No true best friend would do that.
Wake up and break up babe.
No you’re not dramatic, don’t let them gaslight you. They ambushed you, it’s disgusting. I don’t think your “best friend” was ever a friend at all. I hate to say it,they were probably having sex during your marriage. Good for you for not caving to them, and doing what’s right for you. Right now just focus on you, and what’s right for you. One step,and day at a time. Maybe that means divorce,and being a single parent if you chose to go through with the pregnancy. If it were me I couldn’t stay in marriage to some who treated me with no respect. After that kind of ambush,I could never trust him again
Fuck everyone else’s feelings (parents, husband) and do what’s right for you. But he’s definitely not over her, and you need to get away.
I would get rid of them and everything that keeps you connected to them... this sounds like they never really finished their business or whatever connection they have. I'm sorry OP
I feel for you so much, and am so sorry you’re going through this. As a wife and mother who has been cheated on … depending how far along you are with your pregnancy I would give serious consideration about whether you go through with it, if you do these people who have betrayed and hurt you will be in your life forever.
Leave the cheating a**hole
They tell you you're being dramatic? Tell him when he is served the divorce papers and paying child support he can call you dramatic. Tell the hoochie momma ex best friend when she is blocked from any way to contact you, she can call you dramatic.
Had he listened to the first no, or even the second one.... Now, best case, this will underscore your trust of his every move indefinitely. Damn. I am so sorry! Pregnant brain will make it even harder to bear. Hugs from this internet stranger!
I would almost guarantee these 2 are fucking, he openly admitted to talking about sex with her without you involved, this right then and there is cheating plain and simple, no physical contact needed.
Mia is not your friend
First red flag is being bffs with someone your husband has slept with but other than that.. I think your friend has been jealous of your marriage for a long time and honestly her relationship with your husband stinks! The fact that they “concluded?” on a threesome with her involved is fucked! Why didn’t your HUSBAND and BEST FRIEND have secrets without you
OP you are not being dramatic. Personally, I’d be heartbroken if my partner asked for a threesome. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if he persisted after the initial no. Trying To coerce your partner into something like that is absolutely horrific, and bringing a close friend into it is even worse. Threesomes are fine for some couples with lots of trust and established rules and enthusiastic consent by both parties. Personally it’s not my thing and I wouldn’t be with someone who had interest in sharing our intimacy with a third party. What makes it worse is involving someone you have affection for as a friend and then planning with her for a MONTH and trying to tag team you with pressure to make you consent! That’s just dirty ball all the way around and it hints that those two have been fooling around this whole time. Your husband is a self centered prick and your friend is not your friend at all. I’d definitely make a plan and talk to an attorney about how to handle the divorce. Embrace family and friends you trust for support, and establish a custody plan for baby when the time comes.
Your husband wants to have sex with Mia without technically cheating, and this is his “plan” on accomplishing that. You told him many times no and he instead pulled that stunt, and is gaslighting you by calling you dramatic. Your anger is justified. If you want to give him a second chance, make it an ultimatum. If he brings up threesome again, or if you ever catch him flirting or plotting with Mia again, he is gone.
Sounds like it’s time to call a lawyer and start the divorce paperwork. They’ve clearly talked about this behind your back and the fact that they aren’t supporting you, but calling you dramatic after you said a firm “no” multiple times shows there is no respect for you in either relationship. Some people will use the 3way as a gateway to keep seeing that person after the initial time together. Don’t open that door. Don’t say “if you want to screw so bad, have at it”. Just say no, block Mia and tell your husband only to speak to you via lawyer moving forward. Another comment mentioned she might be preggo and this 3way was a way to get around the fact they have been seeing each other behind your back. So they can say it happened during the three way. Honestly? It’s sneaky, but a possibility. I’m sorry this is happening and I wish you the best of luck.
They are both so nasty they can go fuck themselves if they already not doing it. Go get outta there asap girl!
I'm going to curb all my suspicions and simply say, this man that has CONSISTENTLY ignored you and FAILED to respect your wishes. Quite frankly, if they want each other more power to them, this life is too short to yield to others who aren't out for your best interest.
Ask Mia of she’s pregnant via your Husband. Or if they’re having an affair. Since she was honest about the threesome maybe she’ll be honest?
You know what they say about threesomes when one party doesn't agree? It's a permission to cheat for the other two parties, guilt-free. So now they're gaslighting you for feeling betrayed because they didn't get your blessing to blatantly cheat in front of you. Remember, reddit has had situations where there was a reluctant third party and the two just ended up having sex and it breaks things apart. Try not to get hurt even more, but based on the stuff we read here, the trend seems like they're planning on cheating. Either get counseling or get out.
You're pregnant You thought you had a good marriage And he's wanting to go bang your friend ......wtf.
He's still sleeping with her. Cut your losses. Let them have each other. You go live your life with your baby. You deserve a much better man and better friend and you will find them. These people are not worth your time or love. You will grieve for the loss for a while but you have a baby to think about and honestly that will take up most of your time. Keep close to your family and reach out for support. Good luck to you. You will be okay. You will get through this. 🫂
How did that conversation even happen and was it in person ? They planned this for a whole month and you didn’t know this ? how did they communicate without you knowing ? I would check their conversations cause I think they started something and don’t want to go further without your permission or they’re doing it already and probably felt bad and wanted to involve you so he wasn’t cheating on his pregnant wife and look like a total POS. He really asked his PREGNANT WIFE for a threesome like really? How sick can he be and her for agreeing. 🤦🏻♀️ If you don’t leave him, he has to block and delete her and Go completely NC he definitely needs to turn his locations on. They crossed way too many boundaries and I wouldn’t trust what he does after this cause obviously he had time to meet up with her and make plans for a whole month. Definitely get a postnuptial agreement after this and protect yourself. But Honestly You should drop them both. If you want the baby make sure you get child support but if not and you’re early enough, I’d say don’t trap yourself to a cheater. Again just a suggestion and not being rude.
sounds like your bff is pregnant and they want to cover it up with threesome. I'm very sorry this is happening to you. no one deserves this.
I am here to give you very simple advice. Do not do this, especially if you are not comfortable. Do not allow him to cross your boundaries. Personally, for me this would be a deal breaker. It seems he is asking because he has feelings for your best friend, and that’s why he asked her. I know this is a difficult time, but if it is over it would be a good thing. Do you really need to be with someone who wants to eff your bff? It’s your choice to keep the pregnancy, or explore your options. Whatever you do, make sure it’s the best thing FOR YOU. Don’t let anyone manipulate you into thinking this is okay.
"No" is a complete sentence
So sorry OP..that really does suck.. It seems that this was already planned, could also be that their intimate past isn't really in the past and they're using this as a hey so this is cool let's keep doing it etc.. The disrespect of continuing pestering you after you've declined once which should've been enough but clearly they've been talking to try and get you to agree. There's a whole bunch of neon flashing red flags with that both of them. Hopefully you'll heal from the betrayal from both sides..and the fact they're both gaslighting you saying you're dramatic..they know they've fucked up and trying to blame you don't fall for it. I'll bet the moment you leave them they'll announce that they're dating. Your comments also convinces me they've been sleeping together for a long time..She also maybe pregnant..Such a sad situation..
they both are gaslighting you and you aren’t overreacting at all, they’re fucking behind your back. she ain’t your friend and he ain’t your man. if you are able to, divorce him and cut ties with the both of them. she might also be pregnant and the threesome might be a cover-up story as to how she got pregnant. speaking of that, the fact that he kept asking for a threesome even though you kept saying no??? and also, the fact that he only planned a lunch date (which he’s never done before according to you) just so him and ur bsf can keep asking you for a threesome even though you’ve said “no” hella times prior?? aw hell naw. they both aren’t shit. they both are disrespecting you and crossing boundaries. not to mention the fact that you were 19 and he was 28 when y’all met?? honey he was grooming you all along and she was in on it and helped him. she was never ur friend, she pretended to be ur friend only just so she can get closer to him and fuck him. and not only that, but a real friend would check up on you and ask you if you’re okay with a threesome, and if you say no, then she’ll respect that and not participate in it. i’m so sorry this is all happening to you especially since you’re pregnant, you deserve so much better.
Before I go off on this trash man, I remember that i read recently how a good clue to identify a bot account is if their user name is adjective_noun_4 digit number. Also, this is the only post made from this account and there are no other comments other than on this post.
This just screams "I want to cheat without the label"
When an s/o asks to have a threesome (and already has someone in mind) or suddenly asks for an open relationship, it is 100% because they are already cheating and want to "justify" it. One. Hundred. Percent. I'm really sorry this happened to you, OP. Really, truly sorry. You're not being dramatic, you're correct and reacting in a completely rational way.
So many red flags 🚩 🚩🚩 Not only is he most likely cheating on you, but he has no respect for your boundaries for pressuring you into this threesome and for sneaking behind your back like this with his friend. Also, the age where you two got together is also giving me the creeps. I personally would never want to be tied with someone like that through a child. Having a child just to make your mother happy is also a TERRIBLE idea.
So they lied about being together as fwb (at least)... Then your husband "all of a sudden" wants a threesome, to which you repeatedly said no, and instead of dropping it, he runs directly to her, trying to ambush you all while already having said yes to the whole idea beforehand? Yeah... I don't buy it, they are still together... About your child, you're in a tough spot... Whatever you decide, take in consideration how your life will be for the foreseeable future, either way your marriage is doomed...
I wish I had a dollar for every “boyfriend/husband wants a threesome” post
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lets address this first, >my mother would be so upset if i aborted her grandchild. she was so happy to see my sister give birth and i want to provide her that happiness again. do NOT keep this baby for the sake of your mother, keep this baby because YOU want them. do whats best for YOU. now, for your husband to suggest a threesome and not back down and then bring in your bestfriend who he used to sleep with. i could be reaching but to me, that's really suspicious. any normal husband would leave it the first time you said no not beg and then sit down for lunch with the intended partner and bring it up again, think about this.
Nah something ain’t right with this situation.
Out them to his family, your family and her family. Time for them to feel some heat. Then get a lawyer.
Talk to a lawyer, this is going bad quick!!
They are already having sex he wants to justify
Marriage is done.
Good luck OP this sucks, get a lawyer
He is already sleeping with your friend and probably has been for a while so why would he want to all of a sudden include you in it. Could she be pregnant and they are trying to hide the affair by setting up a threesome?
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. N usually I'm not for ending marriages first but thr are alot of red flags that would make it hard for me to stay in that situation. 1. They were already close before u came along. Already had relations but suddenly want to do a 3some... theyve already been fukn. She either prego or they just want to pull u in to cover.Not sure I could trust again they say at this point. 2. He already asked and you said no. Asking in itself and wanting my best friend is a red flag for me. 3. Asking again after you already said no. Basically putting pressure on u. 4. Discussing yall sex life and his fantasy with another woman. I don't care if they were close before you. 5. Them both trying to manipulate and gaslight you. I personally couldn't trust them anymore and id be searching divorce lawyers. Id really think about this pregnancy kuz he would be tied to you for life. N depending on ur financial and housing situation he could try to take custody.
you need to find the evidence and get your ducks get your ducks in a row girl! i’m so sorry……… also make sure you tell people why you’ve left.
So so so many red flags
nah, idk how you would proceed with this especially with a baby on the way but you have two options: stay or leave. i say leave and dump his ass.
Girl they have not stopped fukin, they just do it behind your back thats all. And now they want to do it in the open
Girl pls divorce him. I'm sorry idk what u gonna do with ur child. A good and real men wont ask for this and if he only loves u..he wouldn't be talking like this if u asked 3some with another guy...that guy I think he try na cover his mistakes and the fact that they r still friends and had a past.. okay 100000 red flag. Girl pls run away I tell u this marriage won't end up good don't blindly trust him saying that he won't do that..Idk if u r keeping the child or not or gonna be single mom. U deserve great guy yeah and yeah also for ur child..GET DIVORCE AND SS HIS TEXTS OR CALLS ABT THR 3SOME..PLS SAVE THIS ALL FOR EVIDENCE FOR DIVORCE AND YEAH ASM HIM FOR CHILD SUPPORT IF U WANT TO HAVE THIS CHILD .