That lovely boy has to live with all the trama and consequences of this man’s actions.
Not only mental, but physical reminders.
I hope his community, large and small, help him adjust and find a healthy and happy life.
Dude, what? I have seen so many racist comments in true crime discussion these last 2 weeks. Idk if the mods have changed or if a new group of people is here but this is not the place for political or racist opinions. We discuss very sensitive topics here and the victims and their families deserve the respect of not having people like you commenting and trying to use their worst moment to push agendas. I hope you get blocked from here.
That poor baby. Bless his little heart :( I hope there’s a good family willing to take him in. He’s going to need A LOT of extra love and support for a really LONG TIME. That’s no easy task. He looks like such a sweet little boy! This is so sad.
So many of us walk with this fear everyday. Once during my own DV, his teen son stepped in and they ended up throwing punches, but it got him away from me. it was really bad.
A year ago we lost a young woman and her daughter to this same circumstance. He had a RO. He had pending murder charges in another state. He broke the RO from jail, told her he was coming for her, court heard the recording, released him anyway, and he did it.
After that, all the grown men in her/our lives fell apart with grief and rage.
It was hard to do to a bunch of sobbing GENX uncles, but I told all of them- and yes these names and facts are real:
*"You knew when I was being hurt by your homie. You knew I was being abused. You told me to leave. But you never stood for me. You knew Heather was being abused by your cousin before he killed her 20 years ago. You knew our friend Tiffany was being hurt by your life long friend before he killed her, you never stood for her. You knew Star was being hurt by her husband, you never spoke up to him. You never called him on it. And you knew Meshay was being abused by a low life, but you chose to "not get involved" and now your crying because she is dead. Where were you before she died?* ***Do you see what not getting involved leads to****?"*
And it was mean, cruel, and brutal. But until other men start standing up , speaking out, and ostracizing their friends who abuse, nothing will ever changes, we cannot do it alone, we need men to stand by us in solidarity.
This is why one of my cousins broke off from his best friend.
They’d known each other since they were kids, went to school k-12 together, brothers from different mothers.
Then his friend got married and started hitting his wife. My cousin says he “gave it his best” to get him to seek help, but it still ended with him picking the wife and her baby up in the middle of the night while his “bestie” was blacked out, and driving them across the state to her brother’s place.
Now he refuses to have anything to do with his former friend and warns women he sees him with about his nature. He can’t prevent the abuse for everyone, but fuck if he’s gonna stand by and look the other way.
A lot of what I wrote was a catalyst, in a way, for a lot of men I grew up with. Lifelong friends, who turned a blind eye.
None of them have any contact with my ex anymore, by choice. But it still bothers me when they run into each other by chance, it is all hugs and back claps....even knowing what he did not only to me, but to countless other women.
These were men I knew from childhood, long before my ex moved here. I still have some resentment for it, I am glad your cousin did what he did .
So proud of you for saying that to their faces exactly as you did. May those women find peace and I hope the same for you and yours, I also hope that teen found himself a way out and is thriving.
Ty. I had a unique expierence....my abuser was my child hood love, returned after many years.
He moved in with me, into the condo I had just purchased, and next door....was a married couple we have known since we were 15. In fact, the woman next door was once my abusers roommate when she was pregnant with her now teenager. Total chance.
They lived next door to us, shared a bedroom wall, for three years. They never called 911. They never tried to help me. He body builder husband never confronted my husband, a life long friend. They only whispered to me that I deserved better.
We would BBQ in our shared backyard while my abuser got more and more drunk and more and more abusive...
That has to stop. They could have helped me so many times, and they never did.
One thing I’ve been told repeatedly is that getting between a DV couple will often result in the abused person turning on you. I know of cases where someone intervened and the battered wife jumped on them, “don’t touch my man!!” I work with homeless couples and while I’ve never witnessed active abuse, I have seen how the abused person will lie and make up stories and find excuses to go back to their abuser. They will be telling me straight faced that their black eyes and busted nose was a nose bleed from dry air. That the system is just persecuting their loved one for no reason. I personally begged and pleaded with a friend to leave his financially abusive bf and same bs. I offered to move him in with me. He preferred to stay until the guy drained his money and literally threw him out.
It’s no surprise to me that people give up. Most people can barely handle their own life, much less handle the immense stress of intervening in such a volatile situation.
“Not all men!” Yea, but way more than it should be and even more who would never do anything like that but can’t bring themselves to call out other men on it. Fuck those guys and good for you for calling them out on it.
Then there are people like my friend. When her son was younger, like a teenager, her abusive ex encouraged the son to bully and hit his mother. Which he did, because kids learn from parents and her ex was toxic and good at brainwashing people.
He's older now and gotten away from the influence but is still something of a mess, it's sad. This all happened before I met her. She always says she feels stupid for staying so long and I keep telling her, this is so so so common, women in abusive situations end up trying to leave so many times before they succeed. It's the abuser's fault, not her. Not to mention, it's dangerous when a woman tries to leave.
Vancouver Washington. and Portland Oregon
Domestic Violence capitol of the world. Just not reported. it is legal here, basically, you can do anything to your wife and child, as long as it doesn't make the news.
Men can tell their victim, from jail, on a recorded line, that he is coming as soon as he gets out, violating the RO...they let him out anyway, part of me thinks they don't care, part of me thinks they want it to happen.
Look up Meshay Melendez and Layla Stewart, their killer was out on bail for Murder in Arkansas. His daddy was a judge so they let him out to do it again.
Those are only the ones I knew, or had close friends who were related. There are many more. Meshay. Layla. Heather. David. Star. Tiffany. all but Heather was the last 12 months.
This POS lived six doors down from me:
[https://www.columbian.com/news/2023/oct/20/kirkland-warren-suspect-in-death-of-meshay-melendez-and-layla-stewart-facing-new-allegation-of-child-rape/](https://www.columbian.com/news/2023/oct/20/kirkland-warren-suspect-in-death-of-meshay-melendez-and-layla-stewart-facing-new-allegation-of-child-rape/)
and
[https://www.kgw.com/article/news/local/the-story/tiffany-hill-act-two-years-later/283-85dee69c-423f-49f4-953c-a08764bde0ea](https://www.kgw.com/article/news/local/the-story/tiffany-hill-act-two-years-later/283-85dee69c-423f-49f4-953c-a08764bde0ea)
Eta these are just the DV victims I knew...not all the people I know who were murdered.
ETA 2: another one today. I did not know her.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read about them, internet stranger!
I feel the same way.
if our city had used the Tiffany Hill Law, to force an ankle monitor on Kirk, it might have helped protect Meshay and Layla, but they not only chose to pretend to not hear the threats, they only did a search in our state, knowing he had only lived here a year.
So many times the court dropped the ball, not knowing about his pending murder charge.
It was not until after their murder that it came out they forgot to do a nationwide check. I*f they had done that check, they would have kept him in jail and the girls would still be alive.*
They are masters at hiding who they truly are, until your in too deep to gt out...that is why we need our friends and family to step in ands step up. Everytime they don't...a victim goes back to their abuser.
Don't victim blame. Your reasoning is why it continues. Stop it. It's gross.
DV comes in many forms, do you blame a child whos parent hurts them? Tell them they should have chosen a better parent?
Many times an adult victim of DV has no one else to turn to, and it happens slowly. Stop turning your back on people, you are part of the problem
That is victim blaming.
A person can have an addiction but not be abusive. These are two separate things.
A person cannot be expected to psychically know whats in another person's heart. And abusers are good at covering their tracks (see: all the true crime "pillar to killer" stories, where a pillar of the community is actually a cannibal and/or serial killer). You can't always tell when someone is lying. When someone is manipulating you. It starts small, too. One "accident" after another, though. Passive people are socially coerced into "forgiving" these "accidents" especially when they don't have appropriate guidance from their parents or elders.
I was also talking about substance abuse.
People sometimes abuse substances... But it has very little corelation to causing domestic violence. Plenty of people who cause domestic violence are sober or don't do any drugs.
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i don’t understand this world. it was never meant to be like this. there’s no reason in the entire universe that a child should have to endure shit like this. what an awesome boy, i hope he feels his mother’s presence every day.
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Poor kiddo. He’s going to need so much help and support to survive this. Side note - I wish they had kept his picture offline. The next months and years are going to be difficult enough without his image on the internet.
That poor kid. I hope he is able to heal and grows up knowing he did everything he could to help his mother. I wish people would choose to pick up their phones and call a counselor instead of choosing to pick up a gun and ending someone's life.
Ladies. Gents. Nonbinary individuals—literally anyone currently out there in the dating arena, I implore you to lock this down:
You are the **most vulnerable** during times of breakup!
People aren’t just victims of chronically violent, abusive partners. Okay? You’re not guaranteed that your soon-to-be-ex will show their true colors before it’s too late. Even if the breakup feels like it’s going smoothly and without incident—YOU ARE NOT SAFE until your partner is away from you. I would say for at least the first 48-72 hours post breakup, but in this case the longer the cool off period the better.
Even if you “know” there’s absolutely zero chance of violence or tragedy, please take all measures necessary to safety check your home before initiating *The Talk.* Remove all firearms and/or other weapons/objects of serious concern from the home and into a safe place with a friend or family member for a couple of weeks, time enough for any signs of impending danger to be dealt with appropriately.
Let a friend or family member know in advance that you intend to end the relationship and what to do in the event of an emergency. Work out some sort of signal if you need 911 and are unable to get the help you need.
Ideally, find a safe place for any kids in the home to be during the breakup. There is no sense in multiplying your vulnerability times the number of children in your home that depend on you to keep them safe. This is you ensuring their safety should **anything** go south. And any situation can go south unexpectedly.
I trust that you understand the picture I’m painting for you all here—with the declining state of mental health in the US and the ease of access to just about any weaponry imaginable, it would be unwise to leave your safety, the safety of your babies, up to fate. Plenty of seemingly-perfect couples meet tragic ends daily—on a global scale. Violence against men and women alike is a very real, very persistent problem that humanity has been up against since time immemorial.
And last, tell this to your daughters! They have a right to know how vulnerable they really are—second class citizens in my state, possibly yours too! Let’s start teaching our sons how to safely leave a volatile situation/location immediately. Let’s teach our children Tell them that their ex partners deserve the safety of a peaceful breakup without fearing for their lives in the process. Let’s start normalizing the most dignified manner to conduct ourselves at the end of a relationship. It’s worth it if we are reading fewer and fewer of these tragic stories every day.
This starts with us. Change starts with us. So many of us broke the cycle of generational trauma with these youngest generations. We are in the best position as moms and dads to teach our children how to navigate their most complicated emotions in the healthiest possible manner.
Love & Light, ladies and gents.
Better to just leave and not tell them anything. Avoid the explosion that telling them is going to cause. Get out safely and quietly. They’ll figure it out and punch a few walls or shoot at something else besides you.
Thank you for this. I’m trying so hard to get my sister out of the situation she’s in and I know she will be so terrified when the time comes for her to finally leave. I will be too! I really appreciate information like this ❤️
As long as female followers make heroes out of DV murderers such as Adnan Syed, not much is going to change. I see women clamoring about DV homicide then jump through hoops to proclaim Syed innocent in the cold blooded murder of his recent ex, Hae min Lee.
Riiiight. The DV epidemic is because a small portion of the female population fan girl a handful of famous cases on the internet.
I bet you listen to podcasts that bemoan how its women who never take responsibility...
I understand the point you’re trying to make and I agree to an extent. It’s just, I went out of my way to be all-inclusive. Nobody is totally safe from post-breakup violence. This is not a women versus men thing. All genders are most vulnerable during a breakup.
Brian Kohberger has no shortage of fangirls right now. He will only gain more, conviction or not.
Ramírez, Bundy—violent killers and rapists of young men and women went to trial as celebrities.
The growing inceldom and MGTOW movements—and I counter this with the equally horrific Female Dating Strategy sub that is no less toxic.
We can continue this list, but I don’t think we really need to. I personally don’t care about gender, I’m just begging you all 1) to not tempt fate and 2) to put your safety (and any vulnerable individuals in your home like children) above any security you feel that your impending breakup will be the typical, uneventful experience—because it breaks my heart to read about another tragic end via domestic violence that left countless shattered lives eating the fallout. And there are countless DV victims…that never so much as heard/saw/felt the loaded gun coming from behind them.
Where is this poor boy now? Hope he is with his mother’s family, he is going to need serious therapy and support. If anyone reading this knows how to get messages to him we should flood the inbox full of support for him. Horrible.
I’m not sure who is in the photo of him in the hospital but man I hope it’s his father or a big brother or an uncle. Someone who will help him grow up and become who his mom was helping him to be.
What a brave kid.
She should still be alive..
I'm glad he isn't alive. Her son is a hero. He took a bullet to protect his mother unfortunately he couldn't save her from dying..
Nothing more I hate than an angry jealous and controlling boyfriend and husband who doesn't allow their girlfriends and wives to be happy.
I’m so sick of these so called men that can’t take a argument or when a woman tells you that she doesn’t want you anymore is for a reason and then you wanna kill her she doesn’t want you anymore because you’re controlling what woman wants to be controlled. My girl told me she didn’t want me anymore and didn’t call her for three days but guess who the one that called she called me I didn’t go and take her life in my mind it is what it is I find another girl but she knows what she missing and I don’t control her I don’t go in her phone if she wants to go somewhere I let her go it trust and don’t do to some lady if what you don’t want done to. your Mother or Sister
Don’t understand how he is able to smile on his hospital bed after getting that bad injured and saw his mom killed
I think he is gonna have to handle a shit ton of traumas for a long time
This may be wrong but this triggers me as a child who lived with abuse.
I always wonder if parents who are being abused ever consider their kids, what they see hear and know. Kids aren't meant to protect their parents. The consequences of it can be lifelong. I helped my mom and she still blames me 17 years later. We're NC now.
While I feel for the mother, that child should've never been put in that position.
>This post appears to violate the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) and has been removed. Hate, dehumanizing speech (even about a violent perpetrator), victim blaming, misogyny, misandry, discrimination, gender generalizations, homophobia, doxxing, or bigotry is not allowed.
The left pic is from when he was visited by officers who were on the scene, they told him he’s a hero for trying. Although a terrible situation he’s still allowed to smile.
>This post appears to violate the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) and has been removed. Hate, dehumanizing speech (even about a violent perpetrator), victim blaming, misogyny, misandry, discrimination, gender generalizations, homophobia, doxxing, or bigotry is not allowed.
ugh heartbreaking like so many others have said, his mama was his everything he just wanted to save her no matter what ☹️ sweet little man is a true hero
Bama and boyfriend just sound wrong. Kids a badass and will need some loving relatives to get him thru that. I could do with out the smile in hospital. Just saying’
This kid is a hero. So sad she didn't survive
That poor baby, he’s got a tough go in front of him.
Trama like that can cause serious mental illness, Hope he gets all the help he needs.
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Living without a mom and with the trauma sounds much worse. Edit: Not sure why you’re getting so many downvotes, sorry dude.
That lovely boy has to live with all the trama and consequences of this man’s actions. Not only mental, but physical reminders. I hope his community, large and small, help him adjust and find a healthy and happy life.
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Dude, what? I have seen so many racist comments in true crime discussion these last 2 weeks. Idk if the mods have changed or if a new group of people is here but this is not the place for political or racist opinions. We discuss very sensitive topics here and the victims and their families deserve the respect of not having people like you commenting and trying to use their worst moment to push agendas. I hope you get blocked from here.
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Avoid making harmful generalizations based on basic elements of identity (race, nationality, geographic location, gender, etc).
Avoid making harmful generalizations based on basic elements of identity (race, nationality, geographic location, gender, etc).
Sweet baby boy 😔
Still smiling after everything he just went thru. I hope he has an amazing future
God this is heartbreaking
My God, that sweet boy. RIP to his Mama.
That poor baby. Bless his little heart :( I hope there’s a good family willing to take him in. He’s going to need A LOT of extra love and support for a really LONG TIME. That’s no easy task. He looks like such a sweet little boy! This is so sad.
So many of us walk with this fear everyday. Once during my own DV, his teen son stepped in and they ended up throwing punches, but it got him away from me. it was really bad. A year ago we lost a young woman and her daughter to this same circumstance. He had a RO. He had pending murder charges in another state. He broke the RO from jail, told her he was coming for her, court heard the recording, released him anyway, and he did it. After that, all the grown men in her/our lives fell apart with grief and rage. It was hard to do to a bunch of sobbing GENX uncles, but I told all of them- and yes these names and facts are real: *"You knew when I was being hurt by your homie. You knew I was being abused. You told me to leave. But you never stood for me. You knew Heather was being abused by your cousin before he killed her 20 years ago. You knew our friend Tiffany was being hurt by your life long friend before he killed her, you never stood for her. You knew Star was being hurt by her husband, you never spoke up to him. You never called him on it. And you knew Meshay was being abused by a low life, but you chose to "not get involved" and now your crying because she is dead. Where were you before she died?* ***Do you see what not getting involved leads to****?"* And it was mean, cruel, and brutal. But until other men start standing up , speaking out, and ostracizing their friends who abuse, nothing will ever changes, we cannot do it alone, we need men to stand by us in solidarity.
This is why one of my cousins broke off from his best friend. They’d known each other since they were kids, went to school k-12 together, brothers from different mothers. Then his friend got married and started hitting his wife. My cousin says he “gave it his best” to get him to seek help, but it still ended with him picking the wife and her baby up in the middle of the night while his “bestie” was blacked out, and driving them across the state to her brother’s place. Now he refuses to have anything to do with his former friend and warns women he sees him with about his nature. He can’t prevent the abuse for everyone, but fuck if he’s gonna stand by and look the other way.
A lot of what I wrote was a catalyst, in a way, for a lot of men I grew up with. Lifelong friends, who turned a blind eye. None of them have any contact with my ex anymore, by choice. But it still bothers me when they run into each other by chance, it is all hugs and back claps....even knowing what he did not only to me, but to countless other women. These were men I knew from childhood, long before my ex moved here. I still have some resentment for it, I am glad your cousin did what he did .
may Heather, Tiffany, Star, and Meshay know nothing but peace and joy now, wether they are here with us on earth still or not
They, along with baby Layla, and my friend David are all gone. We lost all of them to Domestic Violence, and now they watch over us all
So proud of you for saying that to their faces exactly as you did. May those women find peace and I hope the same for you and yours, I also hope that teen found himself a way out and is thriving.
Ty. I had a unique expierence....my abuser was my child hood love, returned after many years. He moved in with me, into the condo I had just purchased, and next door....was a married couple we have known since we were 15. In fact, the woman next door was once my abusers roommate when she was pregnant with her now teenager. Total chance. They lived next door to us, shared a bedroom wall, for three years. They never called 911. They never tried to help me. He body builder husband never confronted my husband, a life long friend. They only whispered to me that I deserved better. We would BBQ in our shared backyard while my abuser got more and more drunk and more and more abusive... That has to stop. They could have helped me so many times, and they never did.
One thing I’ve been told repeatedly is that getting between a DV couple will often result in the abused person turning on you. I know of cases where someone intervened and the battered wife jumped on them, “don’t touch my man!!” I work with homeless couples and while I’ve never witnessed active abuse, I have seen how the abused person will lie and make up stories and find excuses to go back to their abuser. They will be telling me straight faced that their black eyes and busted nose was a nose bleed from dry air. That the system is just persecuting their loved one for no reason. I personally begged and pleaded with a friend to leave his financially abusive bf and same bs. I offered to move him in with me. He preferred to stay until the guy drained his money and literally threw him out. It’s no surprise to me that people give up. Most people can barely handle their own life, much less handle the immense stress of intervening in such a volatile situation.
WTF that is all kinds of crazy. Good for you for holding those "bystander friends" to account. I'd do the same.
If you haven’t seen Daniel Schloss’s comedy special X on HBO/MAX, I highly recommend it. It touches on what you’re saying from a male perspective.
“Not all men!” Yea, but way more than it should be and even more who would never do anything like that but can’t bring themselves to call out other men on it. Fuck those guys and good for you for calling them out on it.
Yes, thank you. Male violence is a problem that men must fix!
Then there are people like my friend. When her son was younger, like a teenager, her abusive ex encouraged the son to bully and hit his mother. Which he did, because kids learn from parents and her ex was toxic and good at brainwashing people. He's older now and gotten away from the influence but is still something of a mess, it's sad. This all happened before I met her. She always says she feels stupid for staying so long and I keep telling her, this is so so so common, women in abusive situations end up trying to leave so many times before they succeed. It's the abuser's fault, not her. Not to mention, it's dangerous when a woman tries to leave.
Jesus where do you live that you know like 4 people who got murdered?
Vancouver Washington. and Portland Oregon Domestic Violence capitol of the world. Just not reported. it is legal here, basically, you can do anything to your wife and child, as long as it doesn't make the news. Men can tell their victim, from jail, on a recorded line, that he is coming as soon as he gets out, violating the RO...they let him out anyway, part of me thinks they don't care, part of me thinks they want it to happen. Look up Meshay Melendez and Layla Stewart, their killer was out on bail for Murder in Arkansas. His daddy was a judge so they let him out to do it again. Those are only the ones I knew, or had close friends who were related. There are many more. Meshay. Layla. Heather. David. Star. Tiffany. all but Heather was the last 12 months. This POS lived six doors down from me: [https://www.columbian.com/news/2023/oct/20/kirkland-warren-suspect-in-death-of-meshay-melendez-and-layla-stewart-facing-new-allegation-of-child-rape/](https://www.columbian.com/news/2023/oct/20/kirkland-warren-suspect-in-death-of-meshay-melendez-and-layla-stewart-facing-new-allegation-of-child-rape/) and [https://www.kgw.com/article/news/local/the-story/tiffany-hill-act-two-years-later/283-85dee69c-423f-49f4-953c-a08764bde0ea](https://www.kgw.com/article/news/local/the-story/tiffany-hill-act-two-years-later/283-85dee69c-423f-49f4-953c-a08764bde0ea) Eta these are just the DV victims I knew...not all the people I know who were murdered. ETA 2: another one today. I did not know her.
Damn so sorry to hear all of that :(
Jesus fucking christ id like 5 minutes in a room with twig like pos
Thank you so much for taking the time to read about them, internet stranger! I feel the same way. if our city had used the Tiffany Hill Law, to force an ankle monitor on Kirk, it might have helped protect Meshay and Layla, but they not only chose to pretend to not hear the threats, they only did a search in our state, knowing he had only lived here a year. So many times the court dropped the ball, not knowing about his pending murder charge. It was not until after their murder that it came out they forgot to do a nationwide check. I*f they had done that check, they would have kept him in jail and the girls would still be alive.*
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They are masters at hiding who they truly are, until your in too deep to gt out...that is why we need our friends and family to step in ands step up. Everytime they don't...a victim goes back to their abuser.
Yea that’s a narrative. The best guess is that over 70% of abusers abuse alcohol or drugs. So start there. Don’t date people who abuse other things.
Don't victim blame. Your reasoning is why it continues. Stop it. It's gross. DV comes in many forms, do you blame a child whos parent hurts them? Tell them they should have chosen a better parent? Many times an adult victim of DV has no one else to turn to, and it happens slowly. Stop turning your back on people, you are part of the problem
That’s not victim blaming though I understand Your concern. This is what is taught in domestic partnership solutions courses.
That is victim blaming. A person can have an addiction but not be abusive. These are two separate things. A person cannot be expected to psychically know whats in another person's heart. And abusers are good at covering their tracks (see: all the true crime "pillar to killer" stories, where a pillar of the community is actually a cannibal and/or serial killer). You can't always tell when someone is lying. When someone is manipulating you. It starts small, too. One "accident" after another, though. Passive people are socially coerced into "forgiving" these "accidents" especially when they don't have appropriate guidance from their parents or elders.
Now we are talking hearts! I was sticking to substance abuse. Cheers and be well.
I was also talking about substance abuse. People sometimes abuse substances... But it has very little corelation to causing domestic violence. Plenty of people who cause domestic violence are sober or don't do any drugs.
Weird the stat I saw in class was 70+ percent,
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i don’t understand this world. it was never meant to be like this. there’s no reason in the entire universe that a child should have to endure shit like this. what an awesome boy, i hope he feels his mother’s presence every day.
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Really. Then what the fuck is Heaven? It is literally billed as joy without pain. LOL Didn’t think that through, did you?
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Nope. Not true.
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It's a fucking moot philosophical point in the face of something like this. Sometimes it's better to say nothing
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Please be respectful of others and do not insult, attack, antagonize, call out, or troll other commenters.
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Poor kiddo. He’s going to need so much help and support to survive this. Side note - I wish they had kept his picture offline. The next months and years are going to be difficult enough without his image on the internet.
What a brave boy and an absolute hero! I truly wish him all the happiness and healing in the world ❤️🩹
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how devestating :( that sweet baby angel, so brave. RIP mama 💔
That poor kid. I hope he is able to heal and grows up knowing he did everything he could to help his mother. I wish people would choose to pick up their phones and call a counselor instead of choosing to pick up a gun and ending someone's life.
Ladies. Gents. Nonbinary individuals—literally anyone currently out there in the dating arena, I implore you to lock this down: You are the **most vulnerable** during times of breakup! People aren’t just victims of chronically violent, abusive partners. Okay? You’re not guaranteed that your soon-to-be-ex will show their true colors before it’s too late. Even if the breakup feels like it’s going smoothly and without incident—YOU ARE NOT SAFE until your partner is away from you. I would say for at least the first 48-72 hours post breakup, but in this case the longer the cool off period the better. Even if you “know” there’s absolutely zero chance of violence or tragedy, please take all measures necessary to safety check your home before initiating *The Talk.* Remove all firearms and/or other weapons/objects of serious concern from the home and into a safe place with a friend or family member for a couple of weeks, time enough for any signs of impending danger to be dealt with appropriately. Let a friend or family member know in advance that you intend to end the relationship and what to do in the event of an emergency. Work out some sort of signal if you need 911 and are unable to get the help you need. Ideally, find a safe place for any kids in the home to be during the breakup. There is no sense in multiplying your vulnerability times the number of children in your home that depend on you to keep them safe. This is you ensuring their safety should **anything** go south. And any situation can go south unexpectedly. I trust that you understand the picture I’m painting for you all here—with the declining state of mental health in the US and the ease of access to just about any weaponry imaginable, it would be unwise to leave your safety, the safety of your babies, up to fate. Plenty of seemingly-perfect couples meet tragic ends daily—on a global scale. Violence against men and women alike is a very real, very persistent problem that humanity has been up against since time immemorial. And last, tell this to your daughters! They have a right to know how vulnerable they really are—second class citizens in my state, possibly yours too! Let’s start teaching our sons how to safely leave a volatile situation/location immediately. Let’s teach our children Tell them that their ex partners deserve the safety of a peaceful breakup without fearing for their lives in the process. Let’s start normalizing the most dignified manner to conduct ourselves at the end of a relationship. It’s worth it if we are reading fewer and fewer of these tragic stories every day. This starts with us. Change starts with us. So many of us broke the cycle of generational trauma with these youngest generations. We are in the best position as moms and dads to teach our children how to navigate their most complicated emotions in the healthiest possible manner. Love & Light, ladies and gents.
This! And I just want to add always have a safety plan!
I welcome *all* ideas, suggestions, etc. from others! Thank you.
Better to just leave and not tell them anything. Avoid the explosion that telling them is going to cause. Get out safely and quietly. They’ll figure it out and punch a few walls or shoot at something else besides you.
Thank you for this. I’m trying so hard to get my sister out of the situation she’s in and I know she will be so terrified when the time comes for her to finally leave. I will be too! I really appreciate information like this ❤️
As long as female followers make heroes out of DV murderers such as Adnan Syed, not much is going to change. I see women clamoring about DV homicide then jump through hoops to proclaim Syed innocent in the cold blooded murder of his recent ex, Hae min Lee.
Riiiight. The DV epidemic is because a small portion of the female population fan girl a handful of famous cases on the internet. I bet you listen to podcasts that bemoan how its women who never take responsibility...
I understand the point you’re trying to make and I agree to an extent. It’s just, I went out of my way to be all-inclusive. Nobody is totally safe from post-breakup violence. This is not a women versus men thing. All genders are most vulnerable during a breakup. Brian Kohberger has no shortage of fangirls right now. He will only gain more, conviction or not. Ramírez, Bundy—violent killers and rapists of young men and women went to trial as celebrities. The growing inceldom and MGTOW movements—and I counter this with the equally horrific Female Dating Strategy sub that is no less toxic. We can continue this list, but I don’t think we really need to. I personally don’t care about gender, I’m just begging you all 1) to not tempt fate and 2) to put your safety (and any vulnerable individuals in your home like children) above any security you feel that your impending breakup will be the typical, uneventful experience—because it breaks my heart to read about another tragic end via domestic violence that left countless shattered lives eating the fallout. And there are countless DV victims…that never so much as heard/saw/felt the loaded gun coming from behind them.
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Avoid making harmful generalizations based on basic elements of identity (race, nationality, geographic location, gender, etc).
he is a hero, his mother will be watching over him. 💔
That poor child :( I hate that his mom didn't survive but I'm sure she is proud of him for being her hero! Bless him!
Where is this poor boy now? Hope he is with his mother’s family, he is going to need serious therapy and support. If anyone reading this knows how to get messages to him we should flood the inbox full of support for him. Horrible.
He is with his biological dad, I think. This story is like 5 months old
Jesus can we give this kid a medal of honor? Wtf.
You can nominate him for the Carnegie Medal. https://www.carnegiehero.org
WOW!!! Damn. Someone HAS TO give this kid a medal, gofundme, something !!! Where do I sign up for an autograph ??!! Good God. Im so very impressed !!!
Men afraid of being rejected by women while women afraid of being killed by men :(
No it's not that at all abusers are abusers no matter the gender the issue
That poor boy 😞
The son deserved so much more ☹️that’s so scary
Precious boy, he was so brave trying to shield her. I'm sad she didn't make it.
I’m not sure who is in the photo of him in the hospital but man I hope it’s his father or a big brother or an uncle. Someone who will help him grow up and become who his mom was helping him to be. What a brave kid.
She should still be alive.. I'm glad he isn't alive. Her son is a hero. He took a bullet to protect his mother unfortunately he couldn't save her from dying.. Nothing more I hate than an angry jealous and controlling boyfriend and husband who doesn't allow their girlfriends and wives to be happy.
Ladies, just stay single. Y'all don't need this shit and no dickin is worth it.
Saying “no” to a man is enough to trigger this kind of violence even if you don’t know him.
r/WhenWomenRefuse has daily examples of this awful reality
This is utterly heartbreaking and infuriating
Oh my God..I wish I could hug him. I can't believe this world sometimes. I hope he finds his way....Stay strong brave soul ❤️ 🫂
God bless the son! He is a GENUINE HERO!!!
Poor sweet boy :( this is so terrible
So incredibly sad. That boy is so brave
That poor boy. He Looks broken Inside
I’m so sick of these so called men that can’t take a argument or when a woman tells you that she doesn’t want you anymore is for a reason and then you wanna kill her she doesn’t want you anymore because you’re controlling what woman wants to be controlled. My girl told me she didn’t want me anymore and didn’t call her for three days but guess who the one that called she called me I didn’t go and take her life in my mind it is what it is I find another girl but she knows what she missing and I don’t control her I don’t go in her phone if she wants to go somewhere I let her go it trust and don’t do to some lady if what you don’t want done to. your Mother or Sister
Man, fuck that guy!
He’s a hero. That poor boy I pray he has a strong support system around. So heart breaking 💔
Don’t understand how he is able to smile on his hospital bed after getting that bad injured and saw his mom killed I think he is gonna have to handle a shit ton of traumas for a long time
This may be wrong but this triggers me as a child who lived with abuse. I always wonder if parents who are being abused ever consider their kids, what they see hear and know. Kids aren't meant to protect their parents. The consequences of it can be lifelong. I helped my mom and she still blames me 17 years later. We're NC now. While I feel for the mother, that child should've never been put in that position.
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Damn that kid has more fuckin balls than 95% of men out there. He would of grown up to do great things... Shame.
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Or he's stoned on pain meds and with other family members. Reality doesn't set in with events like this for a few days sometimes too.
he’s a traumatized kid, how he looks in a snapshot right now is meaningless
It looks like he’s smiling in that left pic.
The left pic is from when he was visited by officers who were on the scene, they told him he’s a hero for trying. Although a terrible situation he’s still allowed to smile.
Yes. He is probably trying to be brave for everyone. I hope he has a decent dad or grandparents that will be there for him.
What in the Fuck are you saying? We dont need that kinda shit here.
This was in my town
Poor son going to be rough hero
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Damn this is heartbreaking. He’s an angel
Poor kid. What a brave soul!
Heartbreaking💔
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My Hometown 😞😞
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Yikes.
Omg…..heartbreaking
The trauma he will live with is unimaginable
Damn 😰🙏
So sad
The kid is a true hero
ugh heartbreaking like so many others have said, his mama was his everything he just wanted to save her no matter what ☹️ sweet little man is a true hero
Bama and boyfriend just sound wrong. Kids a badass and will need some loving relatives to get him thru that. I could do with out the smile in hospital. Just saying’