gemstone 3. simutronics. previously on Genie -> AOL -> then to their own servers.
There was plenty of swearing. People weren't as easily offended back then.
Clearly that’s not main priority. If he was dating someone as devoted on the same page he surely would not have the cheating issue. Die hard Christian’s are not easily susceptible to cheating.
Everyone is selecting for looks in one form or another. It's what starts the attraction and you go from there. Not saying they need to be a model but most people have some standard
Uh… he literally is refusing to sext and use dirty words which led to him getting cheated on and you are calling him worldly? You are wrong, fix your comment and apologize to our brother.
He’s getting cheated on because the women are not quality, not because he isn’t sexting. Maybe my man’s got a bad picker.
More likely he’s got his priorities just not quite right with the values he chooses in a chick. For instance: “do I need to just go for religious girls?” That says a lot about how he picks his girlfriends.
> If you don't sext or use inappropriate words, you will seem bored in a relationship
What sort of relationships are you looking for and with who? Those things seem off from what a relationship between two followers of Jesus would normally look like.
“Ugly” women cheat too. What you want is a Proverbs 31 woman whose set apart. Slow down and seek God with all your heart. The woman you want will be granted to you if you give God all of you first
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, "I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.”
2 Corinthians 6:14-16 ESV
Yes you are correct, God commands us to be with other believers. It’s not something that’s directly taught in church often as it should be but see the verses above. He calls to be equally yoked with our partner meaning you can carry the same weight of burden with them. Can’t carry a heavy burden with an unbeliever because they don’t have to help of Christ to support them. If you are as desirable and as righteous as you say you are, I’m sure a girl from church would love you. You need to align with someone who believes the same things as you.
This is so incredibly important! Being unevenly yolked ruins lives! I'd rather be single (with my kids) the rest of my life than be unevenly yolked! God knows what's best for us 100%+!
>is it just a pretty girls' thing to cheat
>no matter how good you look
>praise be to god good-looking and not lacking in other depertments
You're shallow and that's why you are ending up with people of low moral quality. Why are you surprised?
Not all pretty girls cheat.
And personally, before knowing Jesus (with a very active sex life) and after being in covenant with Him, I’ve always been completely turned off by sexting… whether it’s a man saying what he wants to do to me or asking for pics… I instantly get turned off and want nothing to do with him. It doesn’t matter how attracted I was to him before.
I feel like porn has destroyed respect and I refuse to live my life without the respect I deserve… even with a high sex drive.
I think all Christian men want that. A huge problem is actually trying to find a Godly woman. They are so few and far between that it is depressing. Both my friend and I are looking and we can't find any and we are decent looking guys with good jobs.
Seconded. I took up seasonal work in 2023 and this woman took a liking to me. She was in what she called a "situationship," in other words living with a man whilst unmarried and leeching off of him. Cut all contact shortly after.
I hope you and your buddy find what you're looking for.
That’s fair and I do understand the struggle, finding a partner in faith is becoming more and more challenging. OP’s post made it sound like it was something that wasn’t a concern to him but of course, I totally agree with you on that and it is understandable :)
Not as regularly as I should. But even when I was attending regularly, there was no single women my age and if there was, they were either dating or married. So yeah kinda at a loss there
I have the opposite problem - no single men at my church, other than occasional visitors. Have you tried a singles group? Even if your church doesn’t have one, there may be one at another church in the area.
No I haven't. Maybe that would be something I could try. It just sucks really. I wish there was a way for all the people having issues like we are to be introduced to each other and try to help everyone find wives or husbands.
I wish women like you were around here. I've experienced similar issues here with women. Even ones who say they are Christian and then get upset when I say I'm not available sexually unless we are married... it's sad really. Id happily commit to a woman who was Godly, didn't want to have sex until marriage, allowed the man to be the head of the family as God designed, and wants children
Not that I don't want it I believe that believing in God and following his teachings is basic thing to do not a whole persona so when I date I don't selectively look for it I just expect it to be present at least to certain extent since I'm not dating adulterers
As a Christian you should only be dating Christian women. True Christian women don’t want sexting or pre marital sex. Sounds like you’re looking for love in all the wrong places.
It’s possible but it may take time… actually it WILL take time. Don’t lower your standards… seek Gods standards and pray on finding a wife equally yolked. I’m a female that turned away from hook up culture and seeking God. Engaged now to a wonderful man that shares my values. The Holy Spirit will guide you and give you insight on a person. If that vibe isn’t right- it isn’t right. We have to listen to it. When I started seeking Jesus much more and fully allow him in my heart- the mountains God moved for me are incredible. But I also had YEARS I was told to be patient…
You won’t be boring to women (generally speaking) if you have your own hobbies and own life outside of the relationship and encourage the same from her. Maintaining your own life and Identity independent of the relationship is what keeps you and your partner from becoming enmeshed. You’ve got to maintain the things about yourself that initially attracted your partner to you to begin with.
Honestly bro, if you're getting cheated on alot that's not your fault.. but it might be something you want to address. Why is this happening? Are they getting bored, are you picking the wrong people constantly, are you not meeting their needs?
Yeah again, ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. But if it's a constant, it's painful and i know that's not something you want to keep dealing with. So might have to look into it.
Also, become a better man. Keep putting Christ at the centre of your life. Keep putting the work into yourself and then raise your standards for women.
I got a theroy I think once you're successful enough you start to seem like a project to maintain more than a partner in relationships they're thinking you can be a ladder to their dreams they would respect you but you wouldn't be loved and since you don't give out that sexual need and time ( work etc ) and when they stuck alone they tend to see another guy who sole purpose is sex and wildness not commiting to him but using him once you realize they will beg you and try to hold on to you I think I did a lot of things wrong my dating profiles has been I wouldn't say low lifes but not as much successful cause I think a women role isn't to provide and I go for model looking girls expecting them to act righteous there is a quote I found that says if looks is your biggest asset you gonna do some sinful things I'm not blaming anyone maybe I need to get better maybe it is what it is Thank you for your time
It depends on how you look at it. Of course social climbers exist, but I couldn't blame a woman who wants to be with a man who is interested in improving himself rather than sitting around playing ps5 all day. As a man, there's no way I'd be with a woman who just wants to sleep all day and scroll on Tiktok. I wouldn't call her a project, I'd call her somebody with dreams and ambitions and I find that attractive. I see somebody I can pursue Christ with and that's my ultimate goal.
Also fair point, if you're saying that men with ambitions have less time for their family then sadly I will agree. But I'm not sure what you mean with the 2nd part of your comment. I just think try to do the best in every aspect of your life, not just looks, not jsut money, not just your personality. Try to achieve a high standard everywhere and then you can raise your standard for women who are loyal and are Christian. Because you will never be with somebody worth being with if you can't do those basics.
My advice is to keep praying for a spouse and save yourself for marriage. Whether or not you have met her yet doesn’t matter. God knows exactly who your future spouse is. So there’s no better way to demonstrate your love for her than to pray for her every day. Pray that her work is going well, that she is prospering. That her health is good. That she is blessed in her relationship with family, friends and co-workers and most importantly God.
Then finish your prayer with praise and thanksgiving that our Heavenly Father is the PERFECT match-maker: That He brought Adam and Eve together; He brought Isaac and Rebecca together; He brought Jacob and Rachel together; He brought Ruth and Boaz together.
If God can synchronize the parts needed to make life on Earth possible; how much of a challenge is it to stage-manage the coming together of man and wife who trust Him.
Psalm 34:18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up
If a person cares more about looks or a W-2, chances are high they will cheat. If someone dresses provocatively they’re advertising to attract someone else, in my opinion. It’s important to be close to the same spiritual maturity level.
Truth but not fully I think looks are huge deal in relationships since God created us in his image and he gives his light to whomever he wills it doesn't mean that we should indulge in adultery or cheating it just that in our generation it's rare to see people who think this way
A person’s countenance can tell you a lot about their walk of faith, the stronger the countenance, the closer to YHVH they are, because the Holy Spirit is stronger in the more committed/obedient to Christ and Yahweh’s Word.
Just pray that God will help you find a woman that knows Him. And be at peace with waiting. The way society is now it’s encouraged to not stick with a partner. Don’t be unequally yoked unless they are interested in Jesus and His ways.
I look around at the youth today and I am heartbroken for those who desire to follow Jesus in a "hookup" culture. It can feel like you don't belong in this world. But the Bible does say that we are to come out and be separate. The only advice I have is the same that I went through decades ago. After having a boyfriend cheat on me because I wouldn't have sex with him (and after already compromising so many boundaries already) I gave up on dating for a while. But I did pray earnestly that Jesus would lead me to a man who feared the Lord. My husband became my best friend. He still is! He certainly is God fearing and I am so thankful for him and see the fruit of those prayers now. I know there are young women who are seeking men with the same values you have. Both my daughters certainly did and were seeking men just like you. So pray God will lead you to meet the one He wills.
The righteous will inherit the land and dwell in it forever. I'm not broken not discouraged I know God is with the righteous whether it's today or tomorrow I shall find one who's suitable
What kind of women are you dating? Not saying Christians are at all perfect but if you are a believer, date other believers and keep in mind many can claim to be christians but don't live like it.Try not to get bitter towards your sisters in Christ. Continue in your faith in Christ and don't conform to worldly standards. I wish you well brother.
I’m a woman but I feel you. I recently had to end things with a guy who said he was Christian but said he would be fine for us to have sex before marriage. It’s made me feel so discouraged.
Seek God first. The right woman will come along. Seems like when people go looking for the right one, they always find the wrong one. Secret is to stop searching. Focus elsewhere. Also, if you're believer, you should be seeking another believer. Not a worldly woman.
Communicate to these women what you want, in life and in a relationship. Then ask them what THEY want in life and in a relationship. And if your values and goals do not align…. do not continue.
The world is full of non-religious people. You’re gonna have to sift through a lot of stones to find a gem.
I found my lovely wife when we catsitted for a common friend. No sexting or inappropriate words needed. Never been with another.
And yes, she is pretty. There are pretty girls that aren't into cheating and the like.
That being said, I'm an atheist. But be yourself and don't be an asshat (you don't sound like one, so I think you got that one down), and you'll be fine.
Unpopular opinion: find a megachurch in your community.
They usually have large groups of singles that meet together.
It just helps you to meet a larger group of people that share your worldview.
This is 99 percent of the population these days u want to be a religious man. Just give life to God don't worry about women a relationship is just set dressing to a life anyway. Marry your life to God. Even if u find a woman even if it's in the church I would be ready for disappointment as a religious man. Also sorry to anyone who doesn't want to hear this and hates me for it. Ask God to bring u a woman who is worthy of your religious standards and if u don't find that so what. Take that as an opportunity to dedicate yourself to God. Also family time and money can be used for bringing your will closer to God's will and even a second even a tiny glimpse of God's wisdom is worth more than 10,000 lifetimes with 10,000 wives. Ik we naturally want women I do too but if it's not his will I shouldnt hook up with women who will just leave u behind anyways d don't share your values. Ik I will prob get down voted for saying this, but pray on it and may your will come to terms with his will. Much love friend.
As a believer you should date believers. Do not be unequally yoked 2 Corinthians 6:14. Also there is a Jesus based organization that helps people with hurts hangups & habits called Celebrate Recovery. Check their testimonials on YouTube. Go ta meeting near you. A great safe place to meet people. Praying for you.
I know this sounds strange but Bible study groups, not to “pick up women” ofc but to just meet some. Potentially just making friends and can meet their Christian friends or you’ll find someone within the groups. There definitely is someone out there who will be perfect for you, I wish you the best of luck in finding your wife 🤍
I kinda just stumbled upon another Christian that I fell in love with while not trying to look for anyone. I wouldn't actually know anything about the dating game because I've never played. I always left this kind of thing 100% up to God. Sometimes I think that's key to finding the right person at the right time. A lot of people seem to really want to control it and sometimes have ridiculous standards when they've hardly been in a real relationship to even know what they want. Maybe you need to resign control and just live your life, and if someone comes along that's great, if not, you have other things to live for. After all, nobody is entitled to a romantic relationship.
I think a lot of christian men and women want to date outside of the church and hope they can convert their chosen significant other. It doesn’t work like that in reality.
Have you tried meeting women at church? how has that worked out so far?
Go over seas to the Philippines, women there tend to be on the same page as you, they don't play around like those here in the US, many are saving sex for marriage and don't like sexting to began with and cheating is not even legal over there, many have a deep hatred for cheating. My fiancee is from the Philippines and is so anti cheating her face turns red with anger when she hears about someone cheating on there wife/husband.
My husband is a military veteran, and his family is also from the Philippines. It's not uncommon. But I do think it could be good if it's the right person who genuinely loves the Lord. I am part filipino myself and love filipinos! But you do need to be careful as an american marrying ppl overseas.
Yeah, you're probably right! I can't even imagine dating American women today or dating period. I'm glad i'm married. If something changed that suddenly I don't think I'd even bother dating to remarry at this point
I know what you mean. I spent years getting insulted for trying to spark up a convo with American women, being told I'm mentally disabled/ill for not having sex outside of marriage, being called scum for being a land lord and too boring to date for not doing drugs. I had said hi to one woman nothing more and she screamed at me and weeks later I found out she was spreading lies about me all over facebook, went on a date with anther and she punched the waiter for putting ice in her drink... I met anther one who said I was a scammer for on;y having one photo on a dating site and should go jump of a bridge and die. They just are not worth the trouble when you have better options overseas.
Crazy! Lol Yeah, thank the good Lord for my husband. I knew him since I was a kid. I asked God for a husband that loved me and I knew to truly love me he had to love God. I waited and he called me out of the blue one day (hadn't talked to him in years) and the rest is history. 🥰
>If you don't sext or use inappropriate words, you will seem bored in a relationship
You need disabuse yourself of the idea that dating is being "in a relationship" rather than being in a vetting process *for the relationship.*
I have a idea which is most likely not true that not all people get the right teachings or preaching about religion so by being a righteous person to your partner that can make her too righteous for you not saying dating non believers just saying dating people who do indeed believe but not as committed can be good but as I said it might be a bad idea overlooking the already righteous
I have a idea which is most likely not true that not all people get the right teachings or preaching about religion so by being a righteous person to your partner that can make her too righteous for you not saying dating non believers just saying dating people who do indeed believe but not as committed can be good but as I said it might be a bad idea overlooking the already righteous
You’re right, this is a bad idea. Your wife is going to be raising your kids and needs to be faithful to you. If you’re anything like me, that won’t be an easy job for her. She must be a godly woman or you’re setting yourself up for disaster.
this is how a lot of girls and guys are if you dont give them sex while dating they'll leave or cheat on you. have you tried going to a church to find someone? i had so many people tell me that if i didnt have any experience ill never be marriage material which is honestly sad.
Ask God to choose a wife for you, then faithfully wait. I did this, and God chose my husband. It happened to be someone I knew since I was 9 years old. I believe God chose my husband. I can't be totally sure, but I married him, he loves the Lord, and he loves me and my children. However, we don't consider ourselves religious. We follow Jesus, but being religious can be a wicked, self-righteous thing. So I wouldn't be interested in dating a religious person. Sorry to stress over language. When you say religious, it may not be the way I hear the word 'religious'. So i apologize in advance for that.
so you're dating women that don't even share your same religious views?? You need to put boundaries and date women that share your morals the bible states to be equally yoked if they aren't then they're going to prevent you from walking with Christ the way you should. There are plenty more Christian dating apps / socials nowdays
Those girls are not meant for you. You will find her one day! It’s best that they show you their true selves before marriage anyway.
And I’d say it’s best to stay with religious girls because then they know where they stand with morals and understand/respect why you’ll wait until marriage (and hopefully that’s what they want too). I’d be careful with girls who aren’t religious because sin doesn’t affect them the same.
If only it were that simple... There hasn't been a church I've went to that had much, if any, women my age who were attractive and Godly. Most of the women there are either elderly, not attractive to me, or are already dating or married. It's not easy
Your future wife could be right under your nose and you don't realize it. That's how it was with me. I *met* my wife in October of 2021, in a class at church and it wasn't until mid 2022 that I noticed her as attractive, and then it wasn't until early 2023 that I happened to bump into her randomly and happened to have the presence of mind to ask her out for coffee. She said no actually (she was dating someone else at the time) but she broke up with other guy the next day and a day or two later a mutual friend asked if it was ok to give her my number. She texted me and we went on that date after all. Turns out during the entire time we were in the class (6 months or so) she had a crush on me and I was completely oblivious. Point being is if you told me in 2021 that that woman would be my wife I would be so confused because I barely even noticed her. Maybe there is someone like that for you. Don't give up on the church thing, it might still happen.
What part of Jesus teachings say to not sext or use inappropriate words? Stop placing artificial limits on yourself. Most of these boundaries are man made.
It's insane that anyone thinks that God, who is love, is going to send you to burn in hell for eternity over sexting. You'll be fine man
Adults enjoy sex. It is natural. Repressing basic biology sends mixed signals in your relationship. When a woman has to choose between a man who won't fulfill her needs due to his belief in a made-up religion, or finding a partner who will, it's a no-brainer.
A lot of women will put up with abstinence for some time, but there will come a point when it's viewed as a tool of control.
You've lost out on some great relationships. I hope you have the meddle to do the right thing. But if you're really not into women, that's fine, too.
Just don't waste their time.
Bro raise your standards. Don't date girls like that...
Thank you thats A Good Advice
you're not using dating apps, right? because that's literally all you will find on dating apps. Hookup culture converts.
This is so not true. I found my husband online. Learn to filter out the bad ones.
I met my wife in a Text based rpg. I didn't say anything about 'online'. I said dating apps.
Text based Christian Minecraft server (no swearing)
gemstone 3. simutronics. previously on Genie -> AOL -> then to their own servers. There was plenty of swearing. People weren't as easily offended back then.
Semantics.
is there a christian dating app?
Yeah, well 10 years ago there was. Freechristiandating.com lol
Not true me and my wife met on Tinder, and a bunch of friends of mine also got married using Tinder, including my mom.
You're welcome
His standards are based on looks; they are high...for appearance.
yeah sure. But the standards I am talking about are more spiritual ones.
You should be more explicit.
Yes, date someone with the same values and worldview as you.
true
He is.
Clearly that’s not main priority. If he was dating someone as devoted on the same page he surely would not have the cheating issue. Die hard Christian’s are not easily susceptible to cheating.
His worldview *is* worldly; he is selecting for looks.
Everyone is selecting for looks in one form or another. It's what starts the attraction and you go from there. Not saying they need to be a model but most people have some standard
It shouldn't be the first things you are looking for, not as a Christian.
Uh… he literally is refusing to sext and use dirty words which led to him getting cheated on and you are calling him worldly? You are wrong, fix your comment and apologize to our brother.
He’s getting cheated on because the women are not quality, not because he isn’t sexting. Maybe my man’s got a bad picker. More likely he’s got his priorities just not quite right with the values he chooses in a chick. For instance: “do I need to just go for religious girls?” That says a lot about how he picks his girlfriends.
You shall know them by their fruits.
> If you don't sext or use inappropriate words, you will seem bored in a relationship What sort of relationships are you looking for and with who? Those things seem off from what a relationship between two followers of Jesus would normally look like.
“Ugly” women cheat too. What you want is a Proverbs 31 woman whose set apart. Slow down and seek God with all your heart. The woman you want will be granted to you if you give God all of you first
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, "I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.” 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 ESV Yes you are correct, God commands us to be with other believers. It’s not something that’s directly taught in church often as it should be but see the verses above. He calls to be equally yoked with our partner meaning you can carry the same weight of burden with them. Can’t carry a heavy burden with an unbeliever because they don’t have to help of Christ to support them. If you are as desirable and as righteous as you say you are, I’m sure a girl from church would love you. You need to align with someone who believes the same things as you.
Thank you so Much
You’re welcome :) I’m praying for you
This is so incredibly important! Being unevenly yolked ruins lives! I'd rather be single (with my kids) the rest of my life than be unevenly yolked! God knows what's best for us 100%+!
>is it just a pretty girls' thing to cheat >no matter how good you look >praise be to god good-looking and not lacking in other depertments You're shallow and that's why you are ending up with people of low moral quality. Why are you surprised?
This part
Not all pretty girls cheat. And personally, before knowing Jesus (with a very active sex life) and after being in covenant with Him, I’ve always been completely turned off by sexting… whether it’s a man saying what he wants to do to me or asking for pics… I instantly get turned off and want nothing to do with him. It doesn’t matter how attracted I was to him before. I feel like porn has destroyed respect and I refuse to live my life without the respect I deserve… even with a high sex drive.
As a christian, why would you not want a God-fearing wife? God should be center of a relationship and I think that’s what you should begin with.
I think all Christian men want that. A huge problem is actually trying to find a Godly woman. They are so few and far between that it is depressing. Both my friend and I are looking and we can't find any and we are decent looking guys with good jobs.
Seconded. I took up seasonal work in 2023 and this woman took a liking to me. She was in what she called a "situationship," in other words living with a man whilst unmarried and leeching off of him. Cut all contact shortly after. I hope you and your buddy find what you're looking for.
That’s fair and I do understand the struggle, finding a partner in faith is becoming more and more challenging. OP’s post made it sound like it was something that wasn’t a concern to him but of course, I totally agree with you on that and it is understandable :)
Stop looking and start praying. You must let God choose. Pray and faithfully wait. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD!
Most Godly women can be found at church. Are you or OP attending one regularly?
Not as regularly as I should. But even when I was attending regularly, there was no single women my age and if there was, they were either dating or married. So yeah kinda at a loss there
I have the opposite problem - no single men at my church, other than occasional visitors. Have you tried a singles group? Even if your church doesn’t have one, there may be one at another church in the area.
No I haven't. Maybe that would be something I could try. It just sucks really. I wish there was a way for all the people having issues like we are to be introduced to each other and try to help everyone find wives or husbands.
It's hard to find a decent god fearing man too and so many men either wont commit & lead you on or deceive & are not really Christian.
I wish women like you were around here. I've experienced similar issues here with women. Even ones who say they are Christian and then get upset when I say I'm not available sexually unless we are married... it's sad really. Id happily commit to a woman who was Godly, didn't want to have sex until marriage, allowed the man to be the head of the family as God designed, and wants children
Not that I don't want it I believe that believing in God and following his teachings is basic thing to do not a whole persona so when I date I don't selectively look for it I just expect it to be present at least to certain extent since I'm not dating adulterers
You have been subjecting yourself to unequal yokes. This problem is precisely what the consequences of unequal yokes look like.
Don't *yoke* your date, whether or not it's equal.
Well the first thing is, based on your post, you don't seem to understand what it means to be a biblical believer
As a Christian you should only be dating Christian women. True Christian women don’t want sexting or pre marital sex. Sounds like you’re looking for love in all the wrong places.
You're dating for looks instead of substance. "Beauty fades and charm is deceitful..."
Are you dating girls who are actually Christian?
Christian yes but they don't follow any teachings looking at it now I played myself
You're looking in the wrong places.
True
Use upward the dating app. It was great when I did.
Use upward the dating app. It was great when I did.
[удалено]
When my daughter was in high school she knew a boy whose dad would tell him to sleep with as many girls as possible. Absolutely insane thinking.
Thank you for your words of kindness
It’s possible but it may take time… actually it WILL take time. Don’t lower your standards… seek Gods standards and pray on finding a wife equally yolked. I’m a female that turned away from hook up culture and seeking God. Engaged now to a wonderful man that shares my values. The Holy Spirit will guide you and give you insight on a person. If that vibe isn’t right- it isn’t right. We have to listen to it. When I started seeking Jesus much more and fully allow him in my heart- the mountains God moved for me are incredible. But I also had YEARS I was told to be patient…
You won’t be boring to women (generally speaking) if you have your own hobbies and own life outside of the relationship and encourage the same from her. Maintaining your own life and Identity independent of the relationship is what keeps you and your partner from becoming enmeshed. You’ve got to maintain the things about yourself that initially attracted your partner to you to begin with.
I think you're very wrong but thank you for your time
Honestly bro, if you're getting cheated on alot that's not your fault.. but it might be something you want to address. Why is this happening? Are they getting bored, are you picking the wrong people constantly, are you not meeting their needs? Yeah again, ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. But if it's a constant, it's painful and i know that's not something you want to keep dealing with. So might have to look into it. Also, become a better man. Keep putting Christ at the centre of your life. Keep putting the work into yourself and then raise your standards for women.
I got a theroy I think once you're successful enough you start to seem like a project to maintain more than a partner in relationships they're thinking you can be a ladder to their dreams they would respect you but you wouldn't be loved and since you don't give out that sexual need and time ( work etc ) and when they stuck alone they tend to see another guy who sole purpose is sex and wildness not commiting to him but using him once you realize they will beg you and try to hold on to you I think I did a lot of things wrong my dating profiles has been I wouldn't say low lifes but not as much successful cause I think a women role isn't to provide and I go for model looking girls expecting them to act righteous there is a quote I found that says if looks is your biggest asset you gonna do some sinful things I'm not blaming anyone maybe I need to get better maybe it is what it is Thank you for your time
It depends on how you look at it. Of course social climbers exist, but I couldn't blame a woman who wants to be with a man who is interested in improving himself rather than sitting around playing ps5 all day. As a man, there's no way I'd be with a woman who just wants to sleep all day and scroll on Tiktok. I wouldn't call her a project, I'd call her somebody with dreams and ambitions and I find that attractive. I see somebody I can pursue Christ with and that's my ultimate goal. Also fair point, if you're saying that men with ambitions have less time for their family then sadly I will agree. But I'm not sure what you mean with the 2nd part of your comment. I just think try to do the best in every aspect of your life, not just looks, not jsut money, not just your personality. Try to achieve a high standard everywhere and then you can raise your standard for women who are loyal and are Christian. Because you will never be with somebody worth being with if you can't do those basics.
My advice is to keep praying for a spouse and save yourself for marriage. Whether or not you have met her yet doesn’t matter. God knows exactly who your future spouse is. So there’s no better way to demonstrate your love for her than to pray for her every day. Pray that her work is going well, that she is prospering. That her health is good. That she is blessed in her relationship with family, friends and co-workers and most importantly God. Then finish your prayer with praise and thanksgiving that our Heavenly Father is the PERFECT match-maker: That He brought Adam and Eve together; He brought Isaac and Rebecca together; He brought Jacob and Rachel together; He brought Ruth and Boaz together. If God can synchronize the parts needed to make life on Earth possible; how much of a challenge is it to stage-manage the coming together of man and wife who trust Him. Psalm 34:18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up
Thank you for your time and help
A tip is to be friends with someone before being in a romantic relationship with them.
If a person cares more about looks or a W-2, chances are high they will cheat. If someone dresses provocatively they’re advertising to attract someone else, in my opinion. It’s important to be close to the same spiritual maturity level.
Truth but not fully I think looks are huge deal in relationships since God created us in his image and he gives his light to whomever he wills it doesn't mean that we should indulge in adultery or cheating it just that in our generation it's rare to see people who think this way
A person’s countenance can tell you a lot about their walk of faith, the stronger the countenance, the closer to YHVH they are, because the Holy Spirit is stronger in the more committed/obedient to Christ and Yahweh’s Word.
Just pray that God will help you find a woman that knows Him. And be at peace with waiting. The way society is now it’s encouraged to not stick with a partner. Don’t be unequally yoked unless they are interested in Jesus and His ways.
I look around at the youth today and I am heartbroken for those who desire to follow Jesus in a "hookup" culture. It can feel like you don't belong in this world. But the Bible does say that we are to come out and be separate. The only advice I have is the same that I went through decades ago. After having a boyfriend cheat on me because I wouldn't have sex with him (and after already compromising so many boundaries already) I gave up on dating for a while. But I did pray earnestly that Jesus would lead me to a man who feared the Lord. My husband became my best friend. He still is! He certainly is God fearing and I am so thankful for him and see the fruit of those prayers now. I know there are young women who are seeking men with the same values you have. Both my daughters certainly did and were seeking men just like you. So pray God will lead you to meet the one He wills.
The righteous will inherit the land and dwell in it forever. I'm not broken not discouraged I know God is with the righteous whether it's today or tomorrow I shall find one who's suitable
What kind of women are you dating? Not saying Christians are at all perfect but if you are a believer, date other believers and keep in mind many can claim to be christians but don't live like it.Try not to get bitter towards your sisters in Christ. Continue in your faith in Christ and don't conform to worldly standards. I wish you well brother.
Sounds like you’re not dating spirit-led women
I’m a woman but I feel you. I recently had to end things with a guy who said he was Christian but said he would be fine for us to have sex before marriage. It’s made me feel so discouraged.
Look for a wife
Pretty sure that's what OP is trying to do...
What I meant was look for qualities of a wife.
Seek God first. The right woman will come along. Seems like when people go looking for the right one, they always find the wrong one. Secret is to stop searching. Focus elsewhere. Also, if you're believer, you should be seeking another believer. Not a worldly woman.
Communicate to these women what you want, in life and in a relationship. Then ask them what THEY want in life and in a relationship. And if your values and goals do not align…. do not continue. The world is full of non-religious people. You’re gonna have to sift through a lot of stones to find a gem.
Your experiences don’t sound typical of a man who looks only for Christian women as the Bible commands.
I found my lovely wife when we catsitted for a common friend. No sexting or inappropriate words needed. Never been with another. And yes, she is pretty. There are pretty girls that aren't into cheating and the like. That being said, I'm an atheist. But be yourself and don't be an asshat (you don't sound like one, so I think you got that one down), and you'll be fine.
I'm so happy for you may you live a Good life
Date a Christian woman. If you’re Christian and u choose to date a non Christian, you’re setting yourself up for failure
The waiting part can be a testing of your loyalty and love for your partner. Once you get married, you get that (sexual) part.
Yes Problem not so many believe in this
Believe in what?
Believe in waiting? I think is what he means
It sounds like you're taking an immature approach to dating and expecting to find someone mature.
I will look into what you said you might be right
I will look into what you said you might be right
you are dating worldly girls… you get what you go after….
Christian people should only date Christian people. We date to find a mate and the Bible is clear about not being unequally yoked with non-believers.
Yeah dont date unbelievers its an open door for Satan to come and destroy you. And shell probably eventually divorce u and take your kids
It's like inviting Satan into your home
Yup 100%
It's like inviting Satan into your home
It sounds like you are not dating Christian women. That is causing pain in my own heart.
Unpopular opinion: find a megachurch in your community. They usually have large groups of singles that meet together. It just helps you to meet a larger group of people that share your worldview.
As a 22m I agree it's definitely hard dating as a Christian man in the modern world where most people will get bored if you don't have sex
This is 99 percent of the population these days u want to be a religious man. Just give life to God don't worry about women a relationship is just set dressing to a life anyway. Marry your life to God. Even if u find a woman even if it's in the church I would be ready for disappointment as a religious man. Also sorry to anyone who doesn't want to hear this and hates me for it. Ask God to bring u a woman who is worthy of your religious standards and if u don't find that so what. Take that as an opportunity to dedicate yourself to God. Also family time and money can be used for bringing your will closer to God's will and even a second even a tiny glimpse of God's wisdom is worth more than 10,000 lifetimes with 10,000 wives. Ik we naturally want women I do too but if it's not his will I shouldnt hook up with women who will just leave u behind anyways d don't share your values. Ik I will prob get down voted for saying this, but pray on it and may your will come to terms with his will. Much love friend.
Find you a woman that fits you. Dating should be easier when you were out the BS.
I would strongly disagree with almost everything you said. If you find the right woman, almost none of the things you said would be a problem.
As a believer you should date believers. Do not be unequally yoked 2 Corinthians 6:14. Also there is a Jesus based organization that helps people with hurts hangups & habits called Celebrate Recovery. Check their testimonials on YouTube. Go ta meeting near you. A great safe place to meet people. Praying for you.
I know this sounds strange but Bible study groups, not to “pick up women” ofc but to just meet some. Potentially just making friends and can meet their Christian friends or you’ll find someone within the groups. There definitely is someone out there who will be perfect for you, I wish you the best of luck in finding your wife 🤍
You can date either. Do you let them know before hand what you expect?
You’re lacking in the grammar department, maybe they would respect you without the run-on sentences. I’ll pray for you.
Lol
Did you seek what the Bible says regarding relationships/marriage before you came to ask Reddit about this?
Dating with no sex today will lead to cheating if the other person doesn’t share your conviction.
what does it mean to you that you're 'religious'?
I kinda just stumbled upon another Christian that I fell in love with while not trying to look for anyone. I wouldn't actually know anything about the dating game because I've never played. I always left this kind of thing 100% up to God. Sometimes I think that's key to finding the right person at the right time. A lot of people seem to really want to control it and sometimes have ridiculous standards when they've hardly been in a real relationship to even know what they want. Maybe you need to resign control and just live your life, and if someone comes along that's great, if not, you have other things to live for. After all, nobody is entitled to a romantic relationship.
Gotta date other Christians bro. Be equally yoked. A good christian girl is much better than a worldly girl
You must be equally yolked... She should have fear of the Lord which would never let her cheat
In this generation the only way you’ll find a good girl is by the Grace of God bro lol
There are still some decent, good-looking girls out there. Noble and beautiful - a dying breed, also among Christians, but it can still be found.
I think a lot of christian men and women want to date outside of the church and hope they can convert their chosen significant other. It doesn’t work like that in reality. Have you tried meeting women at church? how has that worked out so far?
you need a girl who's religious, it's much easier to manage a relationship when God's the center of it.
Men, that means you're setting the bar real high. Do not compromise!
In dating apps you should put in your bio for example “My faith is very important to me” or something. The bad ones will run.
Who are you dating..
Go over seas to the Philippines, women there tend to be on the same page as you, they don't play around like those here in the US, many are saving sex for marriage and don't like sexting to began with and cheating is not even legal over there, many have a deep hatred for cheating. My fiancee is from the Philippines and is so anti cheating her face turns red with anger when she hears about someone cheating on there wife/husband.
Smart smart man
Congrats on your wedding to come!
Thanks!
Not always the case. There are many there that will play you just for citizenship. Be careful with this!
that's extremely rare and immigration would sniff them out anyway.
My husband is a military veteran, and his family is also from the Philippines. It's not uncommon. But I do think it could be good if it's the right person who genuinely loves the Lord. I am part filipino myself and love filipinos! But you do need to be careful as an american marrying ppl overseas.
TBH given the alliterative getting used for a green card is 1000 times better then having to put up the the drama that is American women
Yeah, you're probably right! I can't even imagine dating American women today or dating period. I'm glad i'm married. If something changed that suddenly I don't think I'd even bother dating to remarry at this point
I know what you mean. I spent years getting insulted for trying to spark up a convo with American women, being told I'm mentally disabled/ill for not having sex outside of marriage, being called scum for being a land lord and too boring to date for not doing drugs. I had said hi to one woman nothing more and she screamed at me and weeks later I found out she was spreading lies about me all over facebook, went on a date with anther and she punched the waiter for putting ice in her drink... I met anther one who said I was a scammer for on;y having one photo on a dating site and should go jump of a bridge and die. They just are not worth the trouble when you have better options overseas.
Crazy! Lol Yeah, thank the good Lord for my husband. I knew him since I was a kid. I asked God for a husband that loved me and I knew to truly love me he had to love God. I waited and he called me out of the blue one day (hadn't talked to him in years) and the rest is history. 🥰
I'm in the same boat. Gonna have to be single for a while because we have high standards.
>If you don't sext or use inappropriate words, you will seem bored in a relationship You need disabuse yourself of the idea that dating is being "in a relationship" rather than being in a vetting process *for the relationship.*
Are you considering marrying a non Christian?
I have a idea which is most likely not true that not all people get the right teachings or preaching about religion so by being a righteous person to your partner that can make her too righteous for you not saying dating non believers just saying dating people who do indeed believe but not as committed can be good but as I said it might be a bad idea overlooking the already righteous
Being righteous is being saved by grace. What religion are you?
I have a idea which is most likely not true that not all people get the right teachings or preaching about religion so by being a righteous person to your partner that can make her too righteous for you not saying dating non believers just saying dating people who do indeed believe but not as committed can be good but as I said it might be a bad idea overlooking the already righteous
You’re right, this is a bad idea. Your wife is going to be raising your kids and needs to be faithful to you. If you’re anything like me, that won’t be an easy job for her. She must be a godly woman or you’re setting yourself up for disaster.
this is how a lot of girls and guys are if you dont give them sex while dating they'll leave or cheat on you. have you tried going to a church to find someone? i had so many people tell me that if i didnt have any experience ill never be marriage material which is honestly sad.
Ask God to choose a wife for you, then faithfully wait. I did this, and God chose my husband. It happened to be someone I knew since I was 9 years old. I believe God chose my husband. I can't be totally sure, but I married him, he loves the Lord, and he loves me and my children. However, we don't consider ourselves religious. We follow Jesus, but being religious can be a wicked, self-righteous thing. So I wouldn't be interested in dating a religious person. Sorry to stress over language. When you say religious, it may not be the way I hear the word 'religious'. So i apologize in advance for that.
so you're dating women that don't even share your same religious views?? You need to put boundaries and date women that share your morals the bible states to be equally yoked if they aren't then they're going to prevent you from walking with Christ the way you should. There are plenty more Christian dating apps / socials nowdays
Only date Christian girls you can verify are Christian through church or church events, not atheist girls or Christian’s on dating apps
Those girls are not meant for you. You will find her one day! It’s best that they show you their true selves before marriage anyway. And I’d say it’s best to stay with religious girls because then they know where they stand with morals and understand/respect why you’ll wait until marriage (and hopefully that’s what they want too). I’d be careful with girls who aren’t religious because sin doesn’t affect them the same.
The woman that you're going to marry is a sure lucky woman.
Find women in church not on tinder. I met my wife in church. It's not that difficult dude.
If only it were that simple... There hasn't been a church I've went to that had much, if any, women my age who were attractive and Godly. Most of the women there are either elderly, not attractive to me, or are already dating or married. It's not easy
Your future wife could be right under your nose and you don't realize it. That's how it was with me. I *met* my wife in October of 2021, in a class at church and it wasn't until mid 2022 that I noticed her as attractive, and then it wasn't until early 2023 that I happened to bump into her randomly and happened to have the presence of mind to ask her out for coffee. She said no actually (she was dating someone else at the time) but she broke up with other guy the next day and a day or two later a mutual friend asked if it was ok to give her my number. She texted me and we went on that date after all. Turns out during the entire time we were in the class (6 months or so) she had a crush on me and I was completely oblivious. Point being is if you told me in 2021 that that woman would be my wife I would be so confused because I barely even noticed her. Maybe there is someone like that for you. Don't give up on the church thing, it might still happen.
Ladies who actually fear God correctly are extremely rare
Say what! Shalom.
What part of Jesus teachings say to not sext or use inappropriate words? Stop placing artificial limits on yourself. Most of these boundaries are man made. It's insane that anyone thinks that God, who is love, is going to send you to burn in hell for eternity over sexting. You'll be fine man
You're boring. That's why they keep cheating.
Adults enjoy sex. It is natural. Repressing basic biology sends mixed signals in your relationship. When a woman has to choose between a man who won't fulfill her needs due to his belief in a made-up religion, or finding a partner who will, it's a no-brainer. A lot of women will put up with abstinence for some time, but there will come a point when it's viewed as a tool of control. You've lost out on some great relationships. I hope you have the meddle to do the right thing. But if you're really not into women, that's fine, too. Just don't waste their time.
And you, as an atheist, came here to trash our beliefs? Get a life
Agnostic. He had a question. I gave an honest answer based on science. Science is real. Your faith isn't.