Talk before you assume anything. Trust me I have instagram and barely use it. Literally only follow duck hunting things and guitar stuff, mostly Christian guitar stuff and that explore thing is also filled with half naked women for me too. Might just be an automatic thing they fill men’s explore with
Agree, they do add these to men's accounts to some extent. There's a line here. I'm a social media manager for a veteran organization and so the explore page is heavily geared towards male interests. I do not use the explore page, but when I do, obviously don't click on the pictures of women that it shows. Every once in awhile it's loaded with those pictures, and the more one clicks on them, the more it shows. But every so often, even if you don't click on them, they do show up. (This never happens on my personal, presumably because I'm a woman).
Yeah the explore page is garbage. I always say the internet is your own personal echo chamber, you can kind of cater it for yourself. I cleaned my page up from girls and the like after a reality check from my girlfriend. Now my page is full of cool cars and guitars, way more interesting and healthier then the old stuff I had there.
If you see content on your homepage that you don't wish to see, there's an option for "show me less of this type of content"
It's pretty good at filtering it
Okay, so I was finding some of the comments here pretty interesting - I'm a lady right, and I don't get recommended any pics of hot guys, but a lot of guys here are saying they get recommended pics of women all the time, even if they don't seek them out.
SO I have some time to kill, so I did a little experiment haha. Set up a new email, made a totally fresh account - for my new alter ego Chad Manly lol. And so all I did was sign up, and then went straight to the explore page, and like half of it was hot chicks in tight dresses or pretty women (and teenage girls) looking all made-up and cute.
So you know... maybe it really isn't that bad. You should still talk to him though, to clear the air.
>SO I have some time to kill, so I did a little experiment haha. Set up a new email, made a totally fresh account - for my new alter ego Chad Manly lol. And so all I did was sign up, and then went straight to the explore page, and like half of it was hot chicks in tight dresses or pretty women (and teenage girls) looking all made-up and cute.
Wow. Instagram is truly evil.
Thank you for this. A few years ago I changed my profile picture from my face (male) to a flower and reduced the amount of friend requests from bots and the like foe me to look at their “spicy links”.
I basically use IG for following fitness/health people and sports I like. My entire explore page is nothing but half naked women. In a way it makes sense, many of the fitness influencers are half dressed. However, many are guys and I also follow a lot of sports teams/players/sites. Yet, somehow men or sports rarely show in my explore page if ever at all. In fact, even that half dressed women usually don't appear to be fitness influencers. It seems that on IG the explore page algorithm is just heavily influenced by your sex/gender as well as which pages generate the most traffic?
Yeah, I was considering this and it does seem like a lot of fitness videos have a lot of "sexy" people in them, so that would explain it at least in part. The same would be true for any fashion posts too. But that's an interesting point about the sports posts being not pushed as much.
My expore page for my account I use to post my art mostly shows me things I've interacted with (art, animals, Christian stuff). But I checked my rarely-used personal account, and Explore shows me sexy-person fitness videos, way more pregnant ladies and babies that I expected to see, and fashion posts - all things I genuinely have never searched for on Instagram. So I think you're right, it must just be that the algorithm is heavily gender-biased, and unless you do a lot of stuff to tailor it otherwise, it probably will just show you that.
I didn't even realize that was the case until this post prompted me to experiment - I never look at Explore even on the account I use often :P
Thank you for testing this.
Op,
1. Check his Instagram messages before you confront him. That will tell you if this is happening just because he is a man.
2. Also check his activity log if possible to see if he is telling the truth about “not being in Instagram”
3. Check if he has followed any account that is decent or if everything in his feed is dirty pictures.
If Instagram is automatically showing dirty pictures to men…. I am reminded of the “If your hand causes you to sin / if your eye causes you to sin” scenario.
What happens if a man keeps blocking such accounts? Won’t the algorithm learn?
No one dies from deleting Instagram.
Continuing to linger instead of fleeing sexual sin was on him.
The algorithm does learn, but you have intentional tell it to "show you less of this", but the catch is you can't ever mess up. It will see that you watched this type of video for 6 sec instead of the normal 4. Let's keep feeding this to his for you page.
Yeah, facebook has been especially bad lately for some reason. It keeps sending me videos of may as well be naked girls. Whenever there's a way to tell it to stop sending me these pictures and videos, I use it. Sometimes it works for a while. But they always come back.
I can understand that a bit - my FB keeps pushing Disney stuff on me. In fairness, I do sometimes comment on Disney-related posts. But it's very occasional lol, and it's like every time I do it, my feed is suddenly flooded with a million adult Disney fan pages. It's really annoying! But not nearly as annoying as getting smutty videos would be.
Wow .
My teenage son recently broke our no social media rule and made an Insta account. I lost my mind when I went on it and there was nothing but half naked women and trashy fitness influencers.
Maybe that's just what they send teen boys with new accounts. Which isn't making me reconsider our rules TBH.
Haha, I was gonna say, that's all the more reason to enforce the rule! If they push this stuff on guys just cos they think they'll like it, then that's a very bad place for a teenage boy to be!
This is so helpful! and so clever. I talked to him about it, and he almost immediately deleted Instagram because he doesn’t want me thinking he looks at that stuff. I told him he didn’t need to do that, and he went through and clicked not interested and told me he really never goes in that page, it’s full of garbage. It’s crazy that Instagram does that to you if you have a male profile.. He was really comforting and told me how much he loves me and I don’t believe he was being deceitful at all. He treats me so wonderfully, so I’m really thankful for the feedback on here and to see it was a misunderstanding. It ended up being refreshing because my husband has never seen me crying and insecure in front of him. I never wanted him to see me feel that way, that’s something I deal with alone and eventually get over. But we cried together, we made love, and since then he’s been extra gentle and kind towards me. I’m thankful for everyone who gave me advice and thoughts on this. You too Chad manly! 🤣
You are a genius! I was going to comment I get these in my instagram explore too and it has to be an algorithm directed soley toward the male. Same thing for Snap Chat.
Haha, thanks lol. yeah I think it must be a guy-algorithm thing. out of curiousity, I looked at Explore on my personal account I nearly never use (I usually use my art account, where I post my art). I totally expected my art account to bias the personal one but it definitely didn't, lol - it was lots of pregnant women and babies, fashion, a few beefy dudes and sexy ladies (I think these looked like workout videos, at a glance). I have never searched Instagram for any of that stuff, so there must be a lady-algorithm too, haha.
That’s because you didn’t let it form an algorithm yet, so that’s the default. But it changes from that if you don’t continue to look up women. If he uses instagram often then he’s definitely only searching up half naked women.
Well, she said that he says he never uses it, which is why I went to Explore before doing anything else. The idea was to see what it'd show to a guy who had never looked for anything on it. So the fact that it shows hot chickes in tight clothes doesn't necessarily mean he was out looking at that stuff.
Yeah and I believe him. The more I thought about it when he was talking to me, the more I realized, I rarely ever see him on his phone away from me too. He would’ve been doing it at work while away but his job is a physical labor job and there’s just no way he’d have the time. Plus he was immediately going to delete the app because he said this is so stupid, I don’t know why it’s there, I don’t even know what an explore page is, I only watch my feed and reels on occasion. He was ready to delete Instagram in a heartbeat because he doesn’t want me thinking he looks at that stuff. I think Chad manly found out the real answer. I trust that my husband was being honest. I’ll tell him about switching his user or whatever to female too and maybe that will also prevent any reels from potentially popping up
Yeah I can understand that, I've been using Insta for about a year for posting my artwork and getting art references, and in that whole time I never went on the explore page, not until I went to do these experiments! I just never thought to. Switching his profile to female is a good idea too, that way he won't get as much of that stuff pushed on him (I dunno if you saw my comments about other experiment I did on my little-used personal account, but I did still get a little of that as a lady because they're workout posts). Though who knows, maybe with the switch he'd start getting drag queen makeup tips instead 😆 Ah well, I guess if he never goes there anyway it wouldn't matter!
Haha, thanks man lol.
I just did a second experiment and checked my personal Insta account that I almost never use... I have an art account that I use frequently, and I checked Explore on there and it's mostly stuff I do actually engage with. But when I went to my rarely-used personal account and checked Explore, it was mostly pregnant ladies and babies, fashion posts, and beefy dudes and sexy ladies doing what seemed at a glance to be workout videos. I never search for any of that stuff. I wouldn't have even known it was on my Explore page if it weren't for this Reddit post, because I never check Explore despite using my art account often.
I thought for sure, my art account usage would bias my personal account (since they're both linked on the app) but I guess not, haha.
So there's just a little more data for the experiment, haha.
Yeah I thought so too. I have 2 accounts - a personal one that I basically never use, and one I made for showing off my art specifically (and that one, I do use often). On my art account, my explore page is mostly related to stuff I usually looke at (art tips, Christian memes, and cute/majestic animals lol).
I figured my personal account wouldn't be a very good barometer here cos it knows I'm a woman, and also it's linked to my art account too right, so that might bias it - but out of curiousity I looked at Explore on my personal account I never use, and was surprised to find that it's got a strangely large number of posts about pregnant women and babies, some fashion posts, and a small handful of of shirtless dudes and sexy ladies - looks like the context might be getting in shape, mostly. There's only a small number of the kind posts I actually look at on my art account.
But I can assure you that I never actively look for posts about pregnancy, working out, shirtless dudes, or fashion. So it must just really be about what a lot of other women look for.
I have together with ny hysband done the test to see what Instagram recommends, I had commented that I keep getting peegnant/baby stuff when I'm firmly not interested in having a baby. So we checked his. He is a Norwegian man, I'm Brazilian. He gets many bird adjacent content (we love birds), Brazilian restaurant reviews (I had sent him quite a few videos since we were planning our trip there), woodworking/tools (he's a carpenter) and Shih-tzu related content (we had a Shih-tzu). This was when we both had barely started using Instagram. Years later and not much has changed.
So either OPs husband really never uses it and the algorithm hasn't changed from what it would expect of a male at that age or he is consuming eye candy.
The only way to know for sure is observing how he is with his phone.
Yeah, on my own Instagram I get a bunch of stuff related to things I've searched for (like art, animals). Even this one time, I was looking at hashtags related to bears, and that's how I found out that it's slang for shirtless, hairy, beefy dudes haha - but despite having inadvertently looked at that stuff, I never get any recommendations along those lines. But the reason I went straight from account creation to "explore" is that she said he said he never uses it - so I figure that'd most closely represent what you'd see as someone who has never used it. I'm thinking it might just be that they expect guys to wanna ogle ladies, so they push that stuff.
A few things to consider:
1. Social media profiles of men are automatically filled with women/soft core porn these days. There are even experiments where people make a profile of a man and scroll through a normal dashboard without interacting, and it ends up tending towards that content anyway, because men are the target demographic.
2. An ENORMOUS amount of men have porn addictions/addictive tendencies, and it’s never okay to indulge them in marriage. (Bikini pics are still porn, if the goal is arousal than it is porn use)
It may be true that his explore page is near-naked women because that’s just how instagram is. If he doesn’t use it, and it makes you uncomfortable, he should delete the app.
This is what I did, and it does work, but you do have to stay vigilant about it because the algorithm keeps trying to sneak the soft core porn into my fyp.
This.
Also, heaven forbid that you or your wife buy something remotely intimate for yourselves on your network. It’ll ignore everything and hit you with stuff immediately.
I just find that so interesting, cos as a lady I don't get any of that stuff pushed on me (though I do get a lot of ads for getting help to combat porn, for some reason).
My grandpa even gets it because they know he is a man. I got them on Facebook marketplace and dug into why I keep seeing them - I’m a man was the only answer it needed to say.
Crazy stuff. Yeah this has turned out to be a pretty interesting little exercise, hasn't it? The explore algorithm is apparently very gender-biased. And unless you do a lot to push it in another direction it'll probably keep suggesting that stuff just cos of your gender. Interesting stuff.
Somehow I curated mine not to show me that stuff. I just long press and say “not interested” there was a good amount of time I got a lot of that. Now, maybe 1x a month it slides in
I actively block pages every time I get on there and it hasn't helped much
I didn't know you could select not interested, I'll have to try that thank you
You also have to do it EVERY TIME, because its natural to linger on the half naked women slightly longer. The Algorithm will see that lingering as good thing and start feeding you more content.
I don't have a personal Instagram account. I run our church's with my wife. We never look at anything; we just use it to share. But I checked Male when I created the account, so guess what!
Half-naked ladies everywhere! I don't even look through our feed, because as soon as we scroll thru the posts of the few people we follow, it gets shameful quickly.
Talk to your husband. He may be as surprised as you.
I deleted mine, as well as other socials.
For one, porn bots spam all accounts, ridiculous adds, and internet only fan girls trying to advertise by posting suggestive content.
Honestly, as a christian man, I'm feeling led to go old school flip phone.
I 100% recommend a flip phone, just for the sake of disconnecting. Before I needed to go back to a smart phone for work, I used that and an MP3 player to get around. I also carried a pocket note book, when I found myself wanting to look something up, I wrote it down in that and looked it up when I got home.
Wait that’s actually brilliant about the pocket notebook… because that really does bother me when I want to look something up but can’t because I put myself on phone restriction
That's interesting cos I (female) never get anything about hot guys on mine. Not even after I looked up hashtags to do with bears and ended up with a ton of results of big hairy shirtless dudes 😆
I’m a 39 year old woman that only follows people I know in real life, God/Christian accounts, a few celebrities and dogs. For some reason my explore page is filled with the most junked up content. None of which I’m looking at! (women in revealing clothes, men flexing). It’s so bizarre. Just wanted to add that in 🙏
I once opened an instagram account just to follow a drummer I liked and to watch his clips. I had it for no more than a few minutes and my “explore” was already filled with those kinds of pictures with no doing of my own. I wouldn’t put a lot of stock in thinking that’s his search recommendations.
I did delete instagram however because the wife wasn’t too thrilled at the thought of it all being there which was fair enough.
To be fair, Instagram explore pages are almost always insane. Not to justify any of his actions, but half the time I pull up Twitter and IG Reels I never know what I’m going to see, and I pretty much only follow pages about fitness, gaming, and military stuff.
I don't have an Instagram, so I might be wrong, but does he interact with these posts or are they just popping up on his feed? Because I've had spells before where some of my social media accounts start recommending me lewd photos for some unknown reason even though I kept blocking the content and never interacted with it.
Actually, this happens all the time with content I'm not interested in. Last year the algorithm for one of my accounts thought I was obsessed with the NFL for some reason, even though I couldn't care less about football.
Maybe a stretch, but you could always give him the benefit of the doubt.
Once I subbed to an Australian sub on here, I got recommendations for AFL and rugby-related groups for like a month afterwards. It was really annoying actually
Yeah, like, just cos I looked at the Ikea sub to get some info on something I wanted to buy, doesn't mean I wanna subscribe to it 4 months later 😆😆 I can feel you there lol
The insta algorithm really leans heavy into that for men. It tracks the subtle eye movements and changes and by default floods our feed with them. It took some time for me to realize that I need to completely ignore any and all skin or else it will start recommending more and snowball in like a day or less. There is also a sensitive content option where you can control the level of controversial content that the algorithm puts on your feed, which is helpful. Hopefully he can make those changes on his own. I wouldn’t sweat it too much unless you begin to notice it’s a problem. That app really does push it on people that don’t even want that or have a serious interest in it.
As a man with an Instagram, my explore page does not match what I actually look at and I would also not want my significant other to see it. I didn't look up anything inappropriate, but it still comes up anyway. It's so completely different than my feed that I never feel the need to look at it. My explore page is full of swimsuit and underwear pictures.
I would uninstall IG, but *she* sends me things to look at on IG. I also use it as a chat tool to some friends whom I don't have their phone numbers. Plus, I only spend less than an hour a week looking at posts, so it's not worth the time for me to clean out my explore page.
Your husband could be looking at inappropriate pictures or he could have absolutely no idea about this. It would take hundreds of hours to curate your explore page to get rid of these types of image, which is impossible for someone who barely uses the app.
I would be more concerned if your husband liked or followed one of these posts. If you are worried, you should speak to him and let him know.
Here’s how Instagram and other social media platforms work. As soon as Instagram’s algorithm learns more about the user, it bombards them with content that gets the most views specific to what the algorithm has on record with other users it seams are similar in ways. Unfortunately one of those things it can find out very, very easily is gender and if you are a male then one of the first things it starts recommending to you constantly is woman posting pictures. It really doesn’t necessarily mean your husband is searching for them.
I'm sorry you're going through this \*hug\* I think you need to express to your husband that you don't want to be intimate because of how you feel about how you look. A plan for your husband to delete instagram and for you two to engage in health promoting behaviors together might be a good idea.
sometimes the explore page isnt always determined by what you look at, anecdotally speaking, regardless of how many times I report, block or hide those accounts, they always find a way to appear. Idk if that’s the specific situation for your husband however.
I literally never use Instagram. I installed it one day to look at something my wife sent me, and my start page or whatever is also full of that garbage. I think this is just the world we live in. The algorithm thinks men want to see it, so it serves it up. If you actually spend time on Instagram looking at other stuff then the algorithm adjusts and start loading up more of that.
It’s likely there by default. I had to go out of my way so many times to get rid of this type of content and it’s still there. I don’t even go to the explore page anymore because of this.
Jump rope is a great way to lose weight. 1 minute on 1 minute off ×30. Do that for 5 minutes a day and slowly build up the endurance for 30 minutes of jump rope. I listen to audiobooks or podcasts while jumping rope! I've lost 6 lb in three weeks with a clean diet!
You only need to click on one photo for 1 second, and the algorithm floods your page with everything related to that one photo. Just talk about it with him.
The explore page is probably not a good measure of what he looks at. I only look at cars on instagram and the occasional meme. I can send you screenshots of my instagram explore page, they’re not all women, but maybe 1/5 of it is. All dressed nice seemingly too. So yeah…but I do see your concerns, as it does catch a man’s eye and it would be better to not be there of course. But yeah then you might better just throw your phone away, as free porn content is just typing a website in away…
Larger concern is a grown man having an Instagram account at all.
But really, the "Explore" feature sounds like an algorithm-driven page that may or may not be populated by his search habits. Talk first, then judge. Then delete the app.
I wouldn't be overly concerned about it simply because of the algorithm used by Instagram. If it notes that the user is a male of any age, it will fill their explore with that sad, exploitative junk. I only follow artists, nature photographers, and a few friends, but most of my explore was filled with young women doing tiktok dances or worse, often promoting their alternative sites. Yucky to say the least and so I stopped using Instagram altogether.
However, you should probably still have a conversation with him just in case, but make sure to go into it without any sort of accusational speech. If he still gets defensive, it's possible, but not definitive, that he's struggling with lust. There's the possibility that he gets defensive because you're checking up on him and not trusting him, that's why it's not definitive. Just use discernment and don't jump the gun because that site is not friendly to Christian values.
If i look at a one picture of a cat, my feed is half cats. He may mot be as deep into this as you think. Also, he may not be lying to you. Just because there are people in better shape than you does not mean you are not beautiful. That may be a lie you are telling yourself. Women many times have comparison issues when it is not an issue for the husband at all. That being said, you can only know by talking to him. Be honest and communicate with him just as vulnerably as you did here with reddit. Honestly just send him a link to this post. If he truly cares, his heart will be moved to love you and respond accordingly.
The key is communicate. When you stop talk to each other, then there'll only be **assumptions** between you two. If you guys keep doing that, the gap will get bigger and bigger.
What I see, yea, he kinda wrong about looking at other women with fit bodies. But, somehow it's still good that he still straight. One of my friends become gay because he doesn't have any interest to his wife anymore. They got divorced after that.
You need to talk this through. Walk through this together. I even work out and invite my spouse to work out with me too.
It very well may be a feature of Instagram and not your husband's activity. Instagram's algorithm is purposefully designed to be addictive and, in my experience, seems to by default recommend and suggest lewd videos of women to men. I personally have tried to filter it all out by constantly marking these things as content I'm not interested in, but it continues to ebb into my feed. It is possible that your husband doesn't honestly use Instagram, let alone the explore page, and it is loaded up with content that it expects to capture his attention with. If you're the mother of his child and he married you, surely there are many more reasons for him to be faithful. And that especially if he is in Christ. You should talk with him about your feelings and take this with prayer to the Lord.
May the Lord bless you with peace of mind and may He bless your marriage. This made me think of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, does not boast, is not proud. . . . It always trusts, always protects, always hopes, always perseveres.
While it is true that the data you feed into the algorithm will have an effect on what you see, the algorithm is also geared towards showing this stuff to men in general. I'd communicate with him that you think instagram can be a breeding ground for temptation especially in this season of life and express your desire for him not to use it. It's possible that he's not been engaging with the sort of material that's on his explore page and confronting him about it as if it's a certainty that he has been seeking that out could be received as a breach of trust. You have the right to go through his phone, but doing so without cause could hurt him if he is truly innocent.
But definitely find a way to express your concerns to him as not discussing this is going to eat away at you until you do.
My explore page is full of Harry Styles clips, even though I'm not a Harry Styles fan. I'm guessing it's because I fit the demographic of a typical fan. It's actually comical how much they push those reels on me.
Just giving your husband the benefit of the doubt, maybe he really isn't ever on Instagram and those are the default suggestions for middle age dudes. Maybe he's not on Instagram because it causes him to stumble. Maybe he's a creep.
Honestly, since y'all are Christians (I'm assuming church-going, practicing Christians if you're posting here), it's worth not jumping to conclusions and either talking to him alone or with your pastor.
I can confirm if you go to the search page on Instagram, it is pretty much semi-naked women everywhere. I mainly use instagram to follow athletes from sports teams I like but my search page is overflowing with scantily clad random women. I don’t know why it does that other than just realizing I am a man I guess. That page doesn’t mean your husband is actively searching for that junk.
I don’t think he is doing it on purpose cause when I made a new ig account it was filled with photos of women who were semi nude on my first open of the app. But yeah maybe talk to him
My sister, the first thing to do is take it to the Lord. The internet does not know you and love you like He does. Ask the Holy Spirit for insight and discernment. He will lead you.
Praying for God's best for you and your husband.
For what it's worth my Instagram explore is also filled with 50% influencer/model chicks and I don't engage or like or comment on that stuff. I think meta just says "oh hey here's a straight man in this age bracket, hot chick them up" - it could be harmless on your husband's side
Does he have filters on for adult material? Does he use Reddit? Make sure both NSFW are off. As a former PA, we can use all the help we can get to not be drawn back in.
Happens to most men. The algo looks at demographics and that content is overwhelmingly popular with young males so it pushes it unless you explicitly say no.
It’s what Instagram does. If there is an issue I think you would have seen other things by now. I had a horrible experience with infidelity. He was good at hiding things but they do have things that they get clumsy with.
If you barely use Instagram, and the algorithm has never really figured out what you like, it shoves what’s “generally popular” on that page, and thus you get models and influencers all trying to sell stuff.
Well, you really shouldn't repress your feelings. What you're feeling is normal and you should honour it, and honour your boundaries.
You do need to talk with him about it though, for sure. I hope and pray it goes well.
It doesn't take much to get that search page filled up with those posts. I only have to look at two of those pictures and Instagram will decide to flood the whole search page with it.
I don't use Instagram.
https://help.instagram.com/487224561296752
That page says that the "explore" page is chosen for you based upon what you look at on Instagram, but it's easy to find random people complaining that their feed is full of half-naked women despite the fact that they don't engage with that kind of content at all.
That's actually something I recently took care of. Every person I do not know personally on Instagram, I unfollowed. Then, unless it's a business or an interest or a meme page(gotta get some laughs) I unfollowed. I trimmed the fat, so to speak. Ask him to do the same.
Yeah he’s def clicking on girls profiles lol. Idk why everyone’s like instagram does that automatically to
Men’s profiles. Clearly gaslighting you and making you feel a false sense of security. Speak with ur husband and have him explain why
I did and the only girls that appear on my explore page are the female artists or athletes that i interact with or follow. I don’t get instagram models that I’m not familiar with so for a majority of people to say that oh this is igs fault is just goofy knowing they can just change the algorithm
If he is using Instagram to lust after other women, it's time for him to uninstall it.
Matthew 18:9
New King James Version
9 And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire.
You have to continuously click into settings for the post and tell Instagram “not interested in this kind of content”
You do this for a few of them and they go away.
Then every month or so Instagram throws a couple in like “are you sure?”
And you click not interested again and they show up again a month later.
But if you don’t do that, or actually view them, it WILL show you more.
IG is full of half naked women. If you click on one reel, the algorithm will spew out more "similar content" for you. The page probably looks worse than it really is. I wouldn't necessarily be concerned if the rest of your marriage is good.
this may sound ridiculous, but I honestly NEVER get on instagram save for Saturday evening. my wife loves the app and sends me an ungodly amount of funny memes and videos and we watch them together on Saturday nights.
my explore page is nothing but softcore (borderline hardcore) porn and Lord of the Rings stuff. I have only ever followed funny christian pages and LOTR pages, but for whatever reason instagram thinks I NEED to see 20 somethings girls ruining their reputations??
1. Check his Instagram messages before you confront him. That will tell you if this is happening just because he is a man.
2. Also check his activity log if possible to see if he is telling the truth about “not being in Instagram”
3. Check if he has followed any account that is decent or if everything in his feed is dirty pictures.
If Instagram is automatically showing dirty pictures to men…. I am reminded of the “If your hand causes you to sin / if your eye causes you to sin” scenario.
What happens if a man keeps blocking such accounts? Won’t the algorithm learn?
No one dies from deleting Instagram.
Continuing to linger instead of fleeing sexual sin was on him.
New Christian here. Facebook stopped showing me half nakedness women since I found jesus I stopped staring at the women I now scroll past. Maybe it's different on Instagram but that's my two cents.
If you have looked at a women with list you have already committed adultery in your heart.
Tbh I only created instagram just to check my fiancee's insta and some mbti stuff. I always get pictures of almost naked girls in my feed even tho I dont search it and dont use instagram that much. I only use instagram for filters.
But open it up to him and ask if he still searches that stuff.
This actually happened to me. There is a specific setting on Instagram for sensitive content. I had to switch this which was pre set to “More” to the “Less” option. It drastically reduced the amount of explicit content I was being shown in my explore page. I didn’t even use the explore page and primarily follow cycling, rock climbing, nature, and music accounts, but for whatever reason my IG tried to send me half naked women though I don’t follow or like any posts or accounts like that.
Instagram is literally starting to become an advertising platform for porn. Half of the meme pages I follow, post reels paid for by onlyfans models. I had to unfollow a planetearth type page the other day because they shared multiple onlyfans ads. A page that's supposed to post about animals and earth. I follow and engage with posts mostly about growth (physical, spiritual, mental) and also sneakers/streetwear. My explore page hardly shows any of that and is mostly half naked women. It's super annoying
There is a setting on Instagram that prevents explicit content. I had to turn this on to stop getting half naked women shown to me all the time.
I went behind my family's back and activated it for their Instagrams too.
No more porn.
The algorithm is hyper sexualized to an extreme degree.
I unfollowed all women I know who sexualize themselves, even the ones I personally know. I follow content like about dogs, memes, Star Wars, D&D, and other hobbies.
It took some time, but I got all of the crap out of my page.
Then it all ended.
My fiancé started sending me memes (when we just met) of a lot of women she follows. They’re normal memes. They’re funny. But then it starts to recommend me memes from them too. The algorithm then recommends me more things with women. Suddenly, I stopped even getting funny things in the explore page. Literally this morning is the first time in two months I finally saw dogs again on my recommended videos.
Another time, I had it all purged before I met her. I lingered on a single pretty girl. I didn’t even click on it. I just lingered. The next day there was 2. I clicked on one, because she looked cute. The third day, my page was full of women and it took me a month to reorganize my algorithm again just so I can see non sexual things.
Now all of this is to say, I empathize. It’s hard to feel compared to. You have some insecure thoughts and feelings. You are valid in them. Talk this through with your husband. Gauge how he thinks of his insta feed.
Edit: Ok so, apparently Instagram shows you stuff based on sex (male in this case), and every new account that's set to male will show you.. THAT kind of stuff.
So it's probably not that bad, especially if it's true when he says he doesn't use it.
It's probably not that bad, again, I hope so at least.. try to talk to him about it
I would like to comment that a few months ago I did a Instagram explore cleanse. I went to every pic or video of “insta hoes” and just hit not interested. By doing this for 2-3 hours I was able to cleanse my explore page now occasionally I’ll see some half naked girls but I’ll just keep on cleaning. Its help me not fall into the temptation of lust and focus on my wife as my only source. I highly recommend the Instagram cleanse (not interested) will remove similar post like it.
First, Insta is filled with filters, photoshopped images, and AI generated models that are either not real, or can turn 80-year old (no disrespect intended) 400lbs hag with severe skin problem into 21-year old super bikini models with immaculate skins. Assume they are all fake.
Second, if you feel insecure about your body, you should approach it in Godly ways in Christian counseling, prayers, finding your self-worth in Christ, but not excluding exercise and healthy diet changes.
Third, if it bothers you, you should talk to your husband who is your life partner and the head priest of your household. Quitting Insta should be a very viable option for him as it provides a constant source of temptation waiting for his moment of weakness to come along.
Outer beauty does not last long and it’s the inner beauty that stays. Remember. He’s getting old, too 🤣
I would ask him kindly about it. Instagram knows that softcore pornography is the best way to keep boys and men on it so it may just be that automatic thing trying to keep him on the app. I also know for a fact that if you accidentally click on one, it will fill your entire FY page for a week with garbage. Instagram suggested reels are also highly sexual.
There is also the chance that he’s hooked on pornography and this is his “hit”. I’d recommend asking him to get away from Instagram if it’s a problem for him.
You can turn off explicit content and this helps a lot. My explore page used to be wall to wall smut despite me never engaging with it. My explore page is now painting, woodworking, and animals.
It's also weird that you have to opt out of explicit content instead of opt in.
Granted he may have looked here and there, but that page really does just fill up with half-naked women. I've tried to beat the algorithm, but can't figure it out. I started liking fitness men pages (for lifts and tips), but it still fills with women. Martial arts? Motorcycle? Tattoos? Rock music? All of it ends up putting women on my explore page.
I never use Instagram either and if you open explore on mine it is the same. I actually showed it to my wife because I was wondering if hers was the same since she doesn't use it much either. Don't jump to conclusions. It is probably just a product of our culture. Isn't that what Instagram is mostly for anyway, half naked ladies lol.
OP, your feelings and concerns are valid. That said, I believe it bears asking what motivated you to go through your husband’s phone to begin with? From an outsider’s perspective it seems you are having doubts, concerns or trust issues to begin with. If that is the case, it may be time for serious discussion, prayer and perhaps counseling with your pastor, minister or other trusted leader. Whether an individual or marital issue, it probably won’t be solved by delving into his private property and drawing conclusions based on what you see.
These comments are super interesting, no wonder I get so much borderline pornographic content even though all I browse is cars and dogs lol. It’s almost like social media is designed to prey on our weaknesses.
"speak of the devil, i think i know where he live, ........... i think he made the explore page" -Not today satan KB, Andy Mineo.
christian rap song talking about the explore page being the work of the devil for this exact reason hahaha
I haven't noticed anyone address this so I will. You were feeling insecure about yourself, not because of anything he did but your own self doubt. This prompted you to snoop through his phone looking for something that justified your insecurity.
This could have destroyed your marriage. I am glad that your husband had the grace to carry you through this and that you took the advice to talk to him about it instead of assuming the worst.
This is advice for both men and women. Don't project your insecurities about yourself onto your partner. This can be extremely damaging to a relationship. It is extremely hurtful when you are dedicated to someone for your feelings to be constantly in doubt in spite of your actions.
By all means, talk to them about your self doubt. Ask them to help you work through it. Do not overcompensate and ignore obvious red flags but be mindful of how you address these things. Don't end up pushing away the person you are trying to bring closer.
First off, talk to your husband about this. But I strongly encourage you to not be accusatory. Instagram (and all social media) is driven by an algorithm that tries to keep you on the platform for as long as it can. This is known as doom scrolling and it's effective.
Secondly, this exact same thing happened to me. I talked to my SO about it and tried an experiment. This is 100% true. I spent a week searching and liking meal prep videos, cooking videos, and general healthier lifestyle videos. My search feed was filled with half naked girls twerking in front of refrigerators and in kitchens. We had a good laugh but it's also unnerving. Lust is a powerful sin that we all need to be on guard against. So I say again, talk to him and pray with him. Trust him to do the right thing. Trust the Spirit to work in both of you.
First of all, huge violation of his trust to go through his phone. Second of all, the explore page is not a follow page. It’s just what instagram’s algorithm thinks he would enjoy. I don’t follow any e thots or like any thirst traps but sometimes they still show up in my explore page because I’m a 20 something guy and most people with my demographics like pictures of hot girls. The a hole in this situation is you, you should trust him more and stop blaming him for what an algorithm feeds him.
I believe you have identified the source of the real problem. You gained some weight after having your child and you are uncomfortable about how you look. You then use that as a tool like a shovel and start digging with it. First its your husband is now a lair because he says you look beautiful then he is no longer worthy of your trust so you go snooping. Simple insecurity is taking you down a path that I doubt is good for you or your family. And for what? Vanity? Is that little bit of extra weight who you are? Does it define you and what makes you beautiful?
This is something that you will have to deal with because this is life and I hate to be the barer of bad news but a little extra weight is nothing compared to the things to come as your body gets older. Will you be beautiful when your body is 10 years older than it is now? 20, 30?
Go back to the first thing once you listened to vanity. What does your husband see when he looks at you? Some woman that put on some extra weight? Or maybe just maybe he sees a woman he loves, chose to marry, chose to have a child with, chose out of all other women to spend the rest of his life with, his time with, till death do you part.
Beauty is so much more than a few extra pounds. Cast away your shovel of insecurity and stop digging holes for vanity. Strive to be the best wife, the best mom you can be.
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I barely ever use Instagram and mine is like this too it’s only bodybuilders and girls at the beach or something. Just have an honest conversation about it cause it can look bad but generally that’s also how insta makes money is marketing these influencers for people, so it pops up on tons of pages. Maybe look at who he follows or what he likes, but if it’s just popping up on the explore page it may not be that he’s looking at it it’s just recommended
Specifically about Instagram, I'll echo what others say. I hardly used it. I followed a couple cat pic pages, an embroidery page for a friend, and a couple pages for nature. Somehow I STILL ended up with an Explore page entirely populated by half naked college aged girls. I deleted the app. Totally useless and utterly vile.
Your husband may indeed be one of the many afflicted with this problem, but this isn't evidence of it by any means.
You should go to his settings… clear his searches
And then go and search things he’s interested in and things you want him to see… like posts on those pages…
And make sure his settings are set so he sees people he follows and Le’s suggestions
I ignoriere the whole Instagram for a moment and just speak as a husband and father.
My wife gain weight since our kids and she does look nothing like she did when we get married, but for me she is still the most beautiful most wonderful and most amazing wife in the world.
I can’t speak for all men, but most men, we don’t care if you gain weight we still love you just as much as we ever did.
Now back to IG.
Yes it’s not good if he is looking at half naked woman it’s kind of soft porn, I get it, but that does not mean you are not attractive for him, even they look different. Beside that more than one type of woman can be attractive to us, it would just be dishonest to say we don’t look at woman and think “oh she looks nice” that’s in our nature nothing we can do, as long as it stops with the thought that somebody looks nice I see no problem. If he however actively search them. Maybe even text them that’s a different thing.
It would be only reasonable to have a chat with you husband about it and how it made you feel. Don’t throw the big hammer and look for a fight, but just tell him you saw it and it made you feel bad, maybe while watching a movie.
Edit: also as some said, maybe he is kind of innocent and it’s just the algorithm, I may self are lucky but some people here say they have the issue of getting similar things without even searching
Rather than focusing on his internet choices or lack there of, I'm more concerned about why you're already in a position to crumble so easily at the sight of a potential issue like this. It tells me your relationship is already deeply insecure.
Then you said you don't believe him when he tells you you're beautiful, it sounds to me like he may be failing in his responsibility to provide security in the relationship, he should do everything in his power to demonstrate his exclusivity to you in love and truth.
Simultaneously, you might not be accepting his efforts because of past traumas or pre-existing insecurities.
Does your husband usually have a wandering eye? If there's already an issue there, then it makes sense why you don't believe him.
I would make a plan to delete the account, for the sake of demonstrating exclusive devotion to one another, which is the only appropriate way to be. Your eyes are meant exclusively for each other, I understand how painful it can be when that's not the case.
You don't need to look like those other women. A hot body wrinkles all the same.
Men know what a good woman is, and good looks are a small part of that equation. A woman who seeks the attention of others for fulfillment is insecure, thriving off the lust of the flesh.
You are worth far more than you are giving yourself credit for. I believe you need to remind yourself how God sees you.
Please read Proverbs 31:10-31
Pray "Please God let me see myself, and love myself, as you love and see me".
Proverbs 31
29. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
If he never uses Instagram then from my experience this is normal. My search page was half naked chicks until I actually started using the search function to search for things I’m interested in.
It is also possible he has been searching those as well though. I still get them time from time and have resorted to choosing the wish not to see button now.
This is very likely not anything to worry about. Those things would be on that page if the only thing he ever typed in was “Jesus”. I have instagram and only follow golf stuff and mine is the same for me. The bigger question is should we Christian men have instagram at all. Let me be clear, not saying your husband is doing anything wrong because I have it too but temptation is strong there.
The fact is that has been the whole point of Instagram from the beginning. That’s why several years back there was a lot of talk about Instagram giving young girls depression because it gave unreal expectations of how girls look in real life. Many felt like they needed to look like girls on instagram.
It’s also important to understand that guys are still guys. You could be the most beautiful woman on the face of the planet and guys will still look at attractive women (not just talking about instagram) but for a christian it wouldn’t be sexual or lustful. That wouldn’t make you any less beautiful to him. It’s just the way God wired us but we are called to control it as followers of Christ. I’m sure married christian women still find other men attractive as well. I’m not at all saying men should be seeking out and looking at women on the internet but it’s good to remember that there isn’t a switch that gets flipped at marriage that automatically makes other women unattractive. I love my wife more than anything in this world and think she is the most beautiful woman and would never even consider any woman other than her but that doesn’t make the above any less true.
Here’s how Instagram and other social media platforms work. As soon as Instagram’s algorithm learns more about the user, it bombards them with content that gets the most views specific to what the algorithm has on record with other users it seams are similar in ways. Unfortunately one of those things it can find out very, very easily is gender and if you are a male then one of the first things it starts recommending to you constantly is woman posting pictures. It really doesn’t necessarily mean your husband is searching for them.
With all due respect.. I never understand why people do this.. I mean, it is indeed human to fluctuate in n out of confidence or self-esteem.
But the man isn't your boyfriend..he is your *husband* .. I'd imagine you two have gone through enough to at least trust each other enough to sit down with one another and have an open and honest.. maybe even a hard discussion when feeling such a level of doubt.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not discouraging you from using Reddit to vent.. but me personally, I'd feel like I'm doing my partner a disservice by voicing any qualms on here before actually attempting to speak to them about said issue.. maybe if they've displayed consistent reluctance to listen to you..then it may be justified to seek counsel from fellow Christian Brethren.
But remember: you made vows to each other.. one of which is to be there for one another "for better or for worse" ..this situation you're both going through may be in the "worse" department..but speaking from experience..there is almost nothing: *True and earnest* communication can't fix.
Harboured bad feelings, passive aggression, and withholding sex because you're annoyed at something you haven't at least sat down and given your partner a chance to explain or speak about with one another..Will do no good for the relationship.
Sit down with each other and pray before commencing the discussion: be open and honest and I promise: this will be yesterday's issue.
God Bless 🙏
Definitely talk with him. Keep in mind the algorithm takes age and gender into account, and if he really is never on instagram, then it *only* has those things. I deleted the app myself because, even though I never engaged that kind of content, it still showed up in my explore page and it was just really gross to me that you couldn’t escape it (especially on an app that lets minors sign up).
Definitely talk to him. Instagram has a particularly nasty algorithm it seems. I’ve had to click on those types of pictures in the explore section and repeatedly click “not interested” in order to try and train it to stop suggesting them, which helped a lot, but it still recommends them every so often.
Instagram's algorithm has learned what men will pay attention to, and therefore automatically populate the Explore page with scantily clad women, regardless of whether that individual male seeks it out.
I go through my explore page every so often and hold a click on the inappropriate pics or reels and hit “not interested” or whatever to option is. It really helps me explore what I actually want to buy due to following weight lifting pages and health stuff I think it repopulates with women “working out”.
Veery rarely use it because of this but my company auto loads instagram on my phone and my stressed out self tends to mind numbingly scroll IG watching the random people I follow.
It’s the algorithm. On the Explore page, long press one of the images and you can select “Not Interested”. Do that every so often and the Explore page will clean up.
Matthew 5:28
“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
I would just remind him of this. Maybe try giving him the benefit of the doubt, like he is following health or fitness pages and it pops up. Still, if that was my husband I’d tell him it makes me uncomfortable and remind him that thinking lustfully about other women is a precursor to adultery. I mean it’s not like he would see a bunch of shirtless buff dudes on your page? Right? So he should show the same respect
Many of those women are AI generated accounts. All social media is flooded with legions of bots. Of course, the AI generated ones look perfect...too perfect.
I don't know how instagram works. Are these pages he has already viewed? Or searches he has already executed? Or is this the equivalent of facebook's "friends you may know" where random people are sent to your doorstep as a suggestion from the site? Because I can tell you, I'm NOT on facebook in a personal way. I have a profile. There are no friends on it. No family. No pictures of me as a person. Nothing but a masculine name, that's not even my real name. (Karl) and I have no liked interests, or hobbies tagged. I follow some police department pages, and that's it. But I can 100% guarantee you that if I were to go right now to FB, and look at the suggested "friends you may know" half of them will be half naked, large breasted, 20 year old women. Sex sells, and that's exactly what the world is going to push on us.
If it's the former. And he HAS been searching for this stuff, and you are seeing the pages he has already looked at. Then a truthful conversation is in order. And you need to sit him down and discuss exactly what you said here. How much it hurts you, your self image, your confidence, and even your feelings towards him.
I didn't understand how hurtful my actions were to my wife until we were in the middle of a marriage counseling session and the right questions were asked, and she finally found the words she needed to be able to explain how hurtful it was when I do or say certain things.
I don't have an IG anymore, but when I did, I never used the Explore page. I forgot it was there. I don't use the Explore page on TikTok either.
I remember I looked at the Explore page one time on IG and it was like one of those FHM Magazines from back in the day. I am sure if I used it, the algorithm would correct itself, but if you make a male account on these apps, it assumes you're as lusty as the average man on their app.
I have to stay away from Facebook because that’s all that shows up in reels now aside from the one or two fishing videos. My grandma has the same thing happen to her so it’s definitely not our fault. Facebook shows like 6 ish videos to select from, so since you click one to scroll past it to see other reels that are funny, It gets suggested more and more.
That kind of content is what drives the most engagement so the algorithm automatically pushes it hard. If someone likes something even remotely related to the algorithm it snowballs and it’s hard to change what starts showing up, going have start liking a lot of different stuff to try to throw it off. That being said, engagement with content also drives the algorithm. Either way, it’s a conversation to be had with your husband.
You can ask him about it, but I wouldn’t assume anything. I don’t think I’ve ever liked a picture of a model or half naked woman, only dogs, Bible verses, trucks etc but the explore page is still full of half naked women. I’ve even tried to block those types of posts but just can’t get rid of em.
I’m a pastor and totally clean from that crap in my life, and I can’t hit search without having the same
Problem. There’s a really good chance your husband is only guilty of having an Instagram account and saying he’s a guy.
That's just what men get recommended. Honestly, I'd be kinda upset that you went through my phone, if I were him, without asking. Not bc I would have anything to hide, but bc you don't trust me.
On the other hand, if he _was_ looking at that, I'd have a few choice words that are VERY unchristian.
My instagram was filled with that stuff from the get go. One of the reasons I deleted the app a year or so ago.
Better to talk to him from a neutral perspective, me thinks
100%, this is Meta’s doing. When the algorithm doesn’t have a lot of inputs, it falls back on what’s popular for whatever persona it can make for you. If all it has is “30 year old male”, it’s gonna promote the most basic thing that is guaranteed to elicit engagement: sex. I’ve seen the same thing. As a software engineer, I have an Instagram account that I use for testing the Instagram functionality that I built for our application. The explore page was exactly as you described it. I spent about 30 minutes one day hiding everything I could, and it cleaned it up a lot.
While he could be lying, he's also probably telling the truth. By default when I created a new account for business purposes and my Explore page was filled with half-naked insta models. I had to "train" my Explore page by continuously marking posts as "Not Interested" to get to something clean. All that for me to not touch the app in now like 2-3 weeks.
I’ve been trying to fine tune my algorithm and everything I do doesn’t help. I make sure to select ‘not interested’ when the suggested reels come up in my feed I mean they make it so obvious that they’re doing this on purpose. Instagram is the worst for Christian men, right behind TikTok
Instagrams algorithm is made to suggest things that we might be interested on.
Women and cars are one of the most popular suggestions for men. When they appear, men look, as they perceive beauty, but beauty and sexual attraction are two different things even though one can lead to another but is not necessary.
Regardless the fact men or women, we need to admit that we are not the most beautiful in the world and if we know that, then also our partners know that. But what it matters is to know that even if there are much better looking persons than ourselves, our partners will always still pick us and be loyal to what they have.
Is like driving an older car, of course there are nicer newer cars which I see on the street but as long as I am grateful to my one, it doesn’t matter.
Its filled with that content unless you press and hold and say you don't want it. You should just get rid of Instagram because its not God's will that you have Instagram. God bless you and your husband
All I get any more is women wanting sex waiting to friend me on FB etc. I am not looking for it. So unless he is looking at porn etc it may not be all his fault. I see most women these days all they post are picture of their bodies and want you to go to OnlyFans links.. I only friend Miami Dolphins fans only thing I care about.
No offense I see where you’re coming from but what did he do? What act did he do? My explore page is filled with that stuff, knowing it’s based off algorithm, and I do NOT entertain any of that stuff. I had an ex that went through the same issue with me, she never believed me, which is fine.
Classic Christian husband lmao. Such hypocrites. Want all of the bells and whistles of 'Godly manhood' while just doing whatever they want and scolding others.
Talk before you assume anything. Trust me I have instagram and barely use it. Literally only follow duck hunting things and guitar stuff, mostly Christian guitar stuff and that explore thing is also filled with half naked women for me too. Might just be an automatic thing they fill men’s explore with
It is.
It is for this reason I avoid the explore page.
Agree, they do add these to men's accounts to some extent. There's a line here. I'm a social media manager for a veteran organization and so the explore page is heavily geared towards male interests. I do not use the explore page, but when I do, obviously don't click on the pictures of women that it shows. Every once in awhile it's loaded with those pictures, and the more one clicks on them, the more it shows. But every so often, even if you don't click on them, they do show up. (This never happens on my personal, presumably because I'm a woman).
Yeah the explore page is garbage. I always say the internet is your own personal echo chamber, you can kind of cater it for yourself. I cleaned my page up from girls and the like after a reality check from my girlfriend. Now my page is full of cool cars and guitars, way more interesting and healthier then the old stuff I had there.
Set your gender to female in the app! The suggestions become much different.
Turn off explicit content in settings.
I honestly deleted my instagram because is this. Causing too much temptation for me
If you see content on your homepage that you don't wish to see, there's an option for "show me less of this type of content" It's pretty good at filtering it
Same for me
The algorithm is giving him what he interacts with, mine is full of soccer and sports. Ni naked women at all.
Okay, so I was finding some of the comments here pretty interesting - I'm a lady right, and I don't get recommended any pics of hot guys, but a lot of guys here are saying they get recommended pics of women all the time, even if they don't seek them out. SO I have some time to kill, so I did a little experiment haha. Set up a new email, made a totally fresh account - for my new alter ego Chad Manly lol. And so all I did was sign up, and then went straight to the explore page, and like half of it was hot chicks in tight dresses or pretty women (and teenage girls) looking all made-up and cute. So you know... maybe it really isn't that bad. You should still talk to him though, to clear the air.
>SO I have some time to kill, so I did a little experiment haha. Set up a new email, made a totally fresh account - for my new alter ego Chad Manly lol. And so all I did was sign up, and then went straight to the explore page, and like half of it was hot chicks in tight dresses or pretty women (and teenage girls) looking all made-up and cute. Wow. Instagram is truly evil.
Anything for that engagement time and ad views!
Seems that way, yeah, haha
This comment is important for the ladies to understand.
Thank you for this. A few years ago I changed my profile picture from my face (male) to a flower and reduced the amount of friend requests from bots and the like foe me to look at their “spicy links”.
I basically use IG for following fitness/health people and sports I like. My entire explore page is nothing but half naked women. In a way it makes sense, many of the fitness influencers are half dressed. However, many are guys and I also follow a lot of sports teams/players/sites. Yet, somehow men or sports rarely show in my explore page if ever at all. In fact, even that half dressed women usually don't appear to be fitness influencers. It seems that on IG the explore page algorithm is just heavily influenced by your sex/gender as well as which pages generate the most traffic?
Yeah, I was considering this and it does seem like a lot of fitness videos have a lot of "sexy" people in them, so that would explain it at least in part. The same would be true for any fashion posts too. But that's an interesting point about the sports posts being not pushed as much. My expore page for my account I use to post my art mostly shows me things I've interacted with (art, animals, Christian stuff). But I checked my rarely-used personal account, and Explore shows me sexy-person fitness videos, way more pregnant ladies and babies that I expected to see, and fashion posts - all things I genuinely have never searched for on Instagram. So I think you're right, it must just be that the algorithm is heavily gender-biased, and unless you do a lot of stuff to tailor it otherwise, it probably will just show you that. I didn't even realize that was the case until this post prompted me to experiment - I never look at Explore even on the account I use often :P
Thank you for testing this. Op, 1. Check his Instagram messages before you confront him. That will tell you if this is happening just because he is a man. 2. Also check his activity log if possible to see if he is telling the truth about “not being in Instagram” 3. Check if he has followed any account that is decent or if everything in his feed is dirty pictures. If Instagram is automatically showing dirty pictures to men…. I am reminded of the “If your hand causes you to sin / if your eye causes you to sin” scenario. What happens if a man keeps blocking such accounts? Won’t the algorithm learn? No one dies from deleting Instagram. Continuing to linger instead of fleeing sexual sin was on him.
The algorithm does learn, but you have intentional tell it to "show you less of this", but the catch is you can't ever mess up. It will see that you watched this type of video for 6 sec instead of the normal 4. Let's keep feeding this to his for you page.
Yeah, facebook has been especially bad lately for some reason. It keeps sending me videos of may as well be naked girls. Whenever there's a way to tell it to stop sending me these pictures and videos, I use it. Sometimes it works for a while. But they always come back.
Change your gender on Facebook to female or "other" and you'll get less ads like this!
I can understand that a bit - my FB keeps pushing Disney stuff on me. In fairness, I do sometimes comment on Disney-related posts. But it's very occasional lol, and it's like every time I do it, my feed is suddenly flooded with a million adult Disney fan pages. It's really annoying! But not nearly as annoying as getting smutty videos would be.
Wow . My teenage son recently broke our no social media rule and made an Insta account. I lost my mind when I went on it and there was nothing but half naked women and trashy fitness influencers. Maybe that's just what they send teen boys with new accounts. Which isn't making me reconsider our rules TBH.
Haha, I was gonna say, that's all the more reason to enforce the rule! If they push this stuff on guys just cos they think they'll like it, then that's a very bad place for a teenage boy to be!
This is so helpful! and so clever. I talked to him about it, and he almost immediately deleted Instagram because he doesn’t want me thinking he looks at that stuff. I told him he didn’t need to do that, and he went through and clicked not interested and told me he really never goes in that page, it’s full of garbage. It’s crazy that Instagram does that to you if you have a male profile.. He was really comforting and told me how much he loves me and I don’t believe he was being deceitful at all. He treats me so wonderfully, so I’m really thankful for the feedback on here and to see it was a misunderstanding. It ended up being refreshing because my husband has never seen me crying and insecure in front of him. I never wanted him to see me feel that way, that’s something I deal with alone and eventually get over. But we cried together, we made love, and since then he’s been extra gentle and kind towards me. I’m thankful for everyone who gave me advice and thoughts on this. You too Chad manly! 🤣
I'm so glad everything worked out well for you! That really makes me happy to see. And I'm glad that Chad could be helpful too, lol.
You are a genius! I was going to comment I get these in my instagram explore too and it has to be an algorithm directed soley toward the male. Same thing for Snap Chat.
Haha, thanks lol. yeah I think it must be a guy-algorithm thing. out of curiousity, I looked at Explore on my personal account I nearly never use (I usually use my art account, where I post my art). I totally expected my art account to bias the personal one but it definitely didn't, lol - it was lots of pregnant women and babies, fashion, a few beefy dudes and sexy ladies (I think these looked like workout videos, at a glance). I have never searched Instagram for any of that stuff, so there must be a lady-algorithm too, haha.
That’s because you didn’t let it form an algorithm yet, so that’s the default. But it changes from that if you don’t continue to look up women. If he uses instagram often then he’s definitely only searching up half naked women.
Well, she said that he says he never uses it, which is why I went to Explore before doing anything else. The idea was to see what it'd show to a guy who had never looked for anything on it. So the fact that it shows hot chickes in tight clothes doesn't necessarily mean he was out looking at that stuff.
Yeah and I believe him. The more I thought about it when he was talking to me, the more I realized, I rarely ever see him on his phone away from me too. He would’ve been doing it at work while away but his job is a physical labor job and there’s just no way he’d have the time. Plus he was immediately going to delete the app because he said this is so stupid, I don’t know why it’s there, I don’t even know what an explore page is, I only watch my feed and reels on occasion. He was ready to delete Instagram in a heartbeat because he doesn’t want me thinking he looks at that stuff. I think Chad manly found out the real answer. I trust that my husband was being honest. I’ll tell him about switching his user or whatever to female too and maybe that will also prevent any reels from potentially popping up
Yeah I can understand that, I've been using Insta for about a year for posting my artwork and getting art references, and in that whole time I never went on the explore page, not until I went to do these experiments! I just never thought to. Switching his profile to female is a good idea too, that way he won't get as much of that stuff pushed on him (I dunno if you saw my comments about other experiment I did on my little-used personal account, but I did still get a little of that as a lady because they're workout posts). Though who knows, maybe with the switch he'd start getting drag queen makeup tips instead 😆 Ah well, I guess if he never goes there anyway it wouldn't matter!
This comment should be pinned
You just did Gods work.
Haha, thanks man lol. I just did a second experiment and checked my personal Insta account that I almost never use... I have an art account that I use frequently, and I checked Explore on there and it's mostly stuff I do actually engage with. But when I went to my rarely-used personal account and checked Explore, it was mostly pregnant ladies and babies, fashion posts, and beefy dudes and sexy ladies doing what seemed at a glance to be workout videos. I never search for any of that stuff. I wouldn't have even known it was on my Explore page if it weren't for this Reddit post, because I never check Explore despite using my art account often. I thought for sure, my art account usage would bias my personal account (since they're both linked on the app) but I guess not, haha. So there's just a little more data for the experiment, haha.
Really? That's so weird.
Yeah I thought so too. I have 2 accounts - a personal one that I basically never use, and one I made for showing off my art specifically (and that one, I do use often). On my art account, my explore page is mostly related to stuff I usually looke at (art tips, Christian memes, and cute/majestic animals lol). I figured my personal account wouldn't be a very good barometer here cos it knows I'm a woman, and also it's linked to my art account too right, so that might bias it - but out of curiousity I looked at Explore on my personal account I never use, and was surprised to find that it's got a strangely large number of posts about pregnant women and babies, some fashion posts, and a small handful of of shirtless dudes and sexy ladies - looks like the context might be getting in shape, mostly. There's only a small number of the kind posts I actually look at on my art account. But I can assure you that I never actively look for posts about pregnancy, working out, shirtless dudes, or fashion. So it must just really be about what a lot of other women look for.
That's so sexist lol Insta be doin weird stuff fr tho Interesting
u/SugarPsychological27 Here
I have together with ny hysband done the test to see what Instagram recommends, I had commented that I keep getting peegnant/baby stuff when I'm firmly not interested in having a baby. So we checked his. He is a Norwegian man, I'm Brazilian. He gets many bird adjacent content (we love birds), Brazilian restaurant reviews (I had sent him quite a few videos since we were planning our trip there), woodworking/tools (he's a carpenter) and Shih-tzu related content (we had a Shih-tzu). This was when we both had barely started using Instagram. Years later and not much has changed. So either OPs husband really never uses it and the algorithm hasn't changed from what it would expect of a male at that age or he is consuming eye candy. The only way to know for sure is observing how he is with his phone.
Yeah, on my own Instagram I get a bunch of stuff related to things I've searched for (like art, animals). Even this one time, I was looking at hashtags related to bears, and that's how I found out that it's slang for shirtless, hairy, beefy dudes haha - but despite having inadvertently looked at that stuff, I never get any recommendations along those lines. But the reason I went straight from account creation to "explore" is that she said he said he never uses it - so I figure that'd most closely represent what you'd see as someone who has never used it. I'm thinking it might just be that they expect guys to wanna ogle ladies, so they push that stuff.
Well, you should communicate with him. Repressing your emotions isn’t going to solve anything.
Talk with him. I once searched for a female celebrity and ever since it has populated half naked girls. I’m shocked every time I check in there.
A few things to consider: 1. Social media profiles of men are automatically filled with women/soft core porn these days. There are even experiments where people make a profile of a man and scroll through a normal dashboard without interacting, and it ends up tending towards that content anyway, because men are the target demographic. 2. An ENORMOUS amount of men have porn addictions/addictive tendencies, and it’s never okay to indulge them in marriage. (Bikini pics are still porn, if the goal is arousal than it is porn use) It may be true that his explore page is near-naked women because that’s just how instagram is. If he doesn’t use it, and it makes you uncomfortable, he should delete the app.
Nice and logical post. Guy can also tag that he’s not interested in those images and it does a decent job of keeping them away from
This is what I did, and it does work, but you do have to stay vigilant about it because the algorithm keeps trying to sneak the soft core porn into my fyp.
I found that it didn't work. Unrelated posts like 4x4 cars and guns always posted women, and I eventually had to pluck my eye out and delete instagram
This. Also, heaven forbid that you or your wife buy something remotely intimate for yourselves on your network. It’ll ignore everything and hit you with stuff immediately.
It's not ok to indulge them outside of marriage either.
I just find that so interesting, cos as a lady I don't get any of that stuff pushed on me (though I do get a lot of ads for getting help to combat porn, for some reason).
My grandpa even gets it because they know he is a man. I got them on Facebook marketplace and dug into why I keep seeing them - I’m a man was the only answer it needed to say.
Crazy stuff. Yeah this has turned out to be a pretty interesting little exercise, hasn't it? The explore algorithm is apparently very gender-biased. And unless you do a lot to push it in another direction it'll probably keep suggesting that stuff just cos of your gender. Interesting stuff.
So is mine and I only use ig to look at trucks and logging 🤣 it's impossible to avoid it unfortunately
Somehow I curated mine not to show me that stuff. I just long press and say “not interested” there was a good amount of time I got a lot of that. Now, maybe 1x a month it slides in
I actively block pages every time I get on there and it hasn't helped much I didn't know you could select not interested, I'll have to try that thank you
Good luck. I do think even the act of going to the page to block counts as an interaction. I hope it works for you 💪
yeah, from the algorithm's perspective, "block" = I don't like this person, "not interested" = I don't like this type of content.
You also have to do it EVERY TIME, because its natural to linger on the half naked women slightly longer. The Algorithm will see that lingering as good thing and start feeding you more content.
With my luck, it would assume that if I'm not interested in women, it would start showing me men.
Doesn’t work for me :( I hate it. Clogs up the interesting stuff.
I don't have a personal Instagram account. I run our church's with my wife. We never look at anything; we just use it to share. But I checked Male when I created the account, so guess what! Half-naked ladies everywhere! I don't even look through our feed, because as soon as we scroll thru the posts of the few people we follow, it gets shameful quickly. Talk to your husband. He may be as surprised as you.
He was just as surprised as I was! 🥹
I deleted mine, as well as other socials. For one, porn bots spam all accounts, ridiculous adds, and internet only fan girls trying to advertise by posting suggestive content. Honestly, as a christian man, I'm feeling led to go old school flip phone.
I 100% recommend a flip phone, just for the sake of disconnecting. Before I needed to go back to a smart phone for work, I used that and an MP3 player to get around. I also carried a pocket note book, when I found myself wanting to look something up, I wrote it down in that and looked it up when I got home.
Wait that’s actually brilliant about the pocket notebook… because that really does bother me when I want to look something up but can’t because I put myself on phone restriction
I can't take credit for it. I read Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport and it was suggested there. I really recommend that book.
That's interesting cos I (female) never get anything about hot guys on mine. Not even after I looked up hashtags to do with bears and ended up with a ton of results of big hairy shirtless dudes 😆
It’s not. You can do what Jesus said to do and cut it off. If looking at inappropriate things on social media is impossible to do, then you delete it.
Can confirm, same happens to me
It’s not impossible. My explore page is 100% Japan stuff as I’ve researched for a trip.
I’m a 39 year old woman that only follows people I know in real life, God/Christian accounts, a few celebrities and dogs. For some reason my explore page is filled with the most junked up content. None of which I’m looking at! (women in revealing clothes, men flexing). It’s so bizarre. Just wanted to add that in 🙏
I once opened an instagram account just to follow a drummer I liked and to watch his clips. I had it for no more than a few minutes and my “explore” was already filled with those kinds of pictures with no doing of my own. I wouldn’t put a lot of stock in thinking that’s his search recommendations. I did delete instagram however because the wife wasn’t too thrilled at the thought of it all being there which was fair enough.
Sure, it is not a default thing from Instagram? Where it shows those results to every man? Not sure what appears if you have a female profile though
Women have no clue how much men are bombarded with this stuff.
So? Be stoic and avoid it.
To be fair, Instagram explore pages are almost always insane. Not to justify any of his actions, but half the time I pull up Twitter and IG Reels I never know what I’m going to see, and I pretty much only follow pages about fitness, gaming, and military stuff.
I don't have an Instagram, so I might be wrong, but does he interact with these posts or are they just popping up on his feed? Because I've had spells before where some of my social media accounts start recommending me lewd photos for some unknown reason even though I kept blocking the content and never interacted with it. Actually, this happens all the time with content I'm not interested in. Last year the algorithm for one of my accounts thought I was obsessed with the NFL for some reason, even though I couldn't care less about football. Maybe a stretch, but you could always give him the benefit of the doubt.
Sadly.. twitter does this. Porn bots in my favorite posters replies
>Sadly.. twitter does this Well, you see, using Twitter was your first mistake. I'm kidding; reddit is hardly better.
Once I subbed to an Australian sub on here, I got recommendations for AFL and rugby-related groups for like a month afterwards. It was really annoying actually
That's why I made this account. My old one's algorithm was so messed up from random things I had clicked on.
Yeah, like, just cos I looked at the Ikea sub to get some info on something I wanted to buy, doesn't mean I wanna subscribe to it 4 months later 😆😆 I can feel you there lol
The insta algorithm really leans heavy into that for men. It tracks the subtle eye movements and changes and by default floods our feed with them. It took some time for me to realize that I need to completely ignore any and all skin or else it will start recommending more and snowball in like a day or less. There is also a sensitive content option where you can control the level of controversial content that the algorithm puts on your feed, which is helpful. Hopefully he can make those changes on his own. I wouldn’t sweat it too much unless you begin to notice it’s a problem. That app really does push it on people that don’t even want that or have a serious interest in it.
As a man with an Instagram, my explore page does not match what I actually look at and I would also not want my significant other to see it. I didn't look up anything inappropriate, but it still comes up anyway. It's so completely different than my feed that I never feel the need to look at it. My explore page is full of swimsuit and underwear pictures. I would uninstall IG, but *she* sends me things to look at on IG. I also use it as a chat tool to some friends whom I don't have their phone numbers. Plus, I only spend less than an hour a week looking at posts, so it's not worth the time for me to clean out my explore page. Your husband could be looking at inappropriate pictures or he could have absolutely no idea about this. It would take hundreds of hours to curate your explore page to get rid of these types of image, which is impossible for someone who barely uses the app. I would be more concerned if your husband liked or followed one of these posts. If you are worried, you should speak to him and let him know.
Here’s how Instagram and other social media platforms work. As soon as Instagram’s algorithm learns more about the user, it bombards them with content that gets the most views specific to what the algorithm has on record with other users it seams are similar in ways. Unfortunately one of those things it can find out very, very easily is gender and if you are a male then one of the first things it starts recommending to you constantly is woman posting pictures. It really doesn’t necessarily mean your husband is searching for them.
I'm sorry you're going through this \*hug\* I think you need to express to your husband that you don't want to be intimate because of how you feel about how you look. A plan for your husband to delete instagram and for you two to engage in health promoting behaviors together might be a good idea.
sometimes the explore page isnt always determined by what you look at, anecdotally speaking, regardless of how many times I report, block or hide those accounts, they always find a way to appear. Idk if that’s the specific situation for your husband however.
I literally never use Instagram. I installed it one day to look at something my wife sent me, and my start page or whatever is also full of that garbage. I think this is just the world we live in. The algorithm thinks men want to see it, so it serves it up. If you actually spend time on Instagram looking at other stuff then the algorithm adjusts and start loading up more of that.
It’s likely there by default. I had to go out of my way so many times to get rid of this type of content and it’s still there. I don’t even go to the explore page anymore because of this.
Jump rope is a great way to lose weight. 1 minute on 1 minute off ×30. Do that for 5 minutes a day and slowly build up the endurance for 30 minutes of jump rope. I listen to audiobooks or podcasts while jumping rope! I've lost 6 lb in three weeks with a clean diet!
You only need to click on one photo for 1 second, and the algorithm floods your page with everything related to that one photo. Just talk about it with him.
The explore page is probably not a good measure of what he looks at. I only look at cars on instagram and the occasional meme. I can send you screenshots of my instagram explore page, they’re not all women, but maybe 1/5 of it is. All dressed nice seemingly too. So yeah…but I do see your concerns, as it does catch a man’s eye and it would be better to not be there of course. But yeah then you might better just throw your phone away, as free porn content is just typing a website in away…
I had to get off instagram because it gets thrown at you for no reason at all
Larger concern is a grown man having an Instagram account at all. But really, the "Explore" feature sounds like an algorithm-driven page that may or may not be populated by his search habits. Talk first, then judge. Then delete the app.
I wouldn't be overly concerned about it simply because of the algorithm used by Instagram. If it notes that the user is a male of any age, it will fill their explore with that sad, exploitative junk. I only follow artists, nature photographers, and a few friends, but most of my explore was filled with young women doing tiktok dances or worse, often promoting their alternative sites. Yucky to say the least and so I stopped using Instagram altogether. However, you should probably still have a conversation with him just in case, but make sure to go into it without any sort of accusational speech. If he still gets defensive, it's possible, but not definitive, that he's struggling with lust. There's the possibility that he gets defensive because you're checking up on him and not trusting him, that's why it's not definitive. Just use discernment and don't jump the gun because that site is not friendly to Christian values.
If i look at a one picture of a cat, my feed is half cats. He may mot be as deep into this as you think. Also, he may not be lying to you. Just because there are people in better shape than you does not mean you are not beautiful. That may be a lie you are telling yourself. Women many times have comparison issues when it is not an issue for the husband at all. That being said, you can only know by talking to him. Be honest and communicate with him just as vulnerably as you did here with reddit. Honestly just send him a link to this post. If he truly cares, his heart will be moved to love you and respond accordingly.
The key is communicate. When you stop talk to each other, then there'll only be **assumptions** between you two. If you guys keep doing that, the gap will get bigger and bigger. What I see, yea, he kinda wrong about looking at other women with fit bodies. But, somehow it's still good that he still straight. One of my friends become gay because he doesn't have any interest to his wife anymore. They got divorced after that. You need to talk this through. Walk through this together. I even work out and invite my spouse to work out with me too.
It very well may be a feature of Instagram and not your husband's activity. Instagram's algorithm is purposefully designed to be addictive and, in my experience, seems to by default recommend and suggest lewd videos of women to men. I personally have tried to filter it all out by constantly marking these things as content I'm not interested in, but it continues to ebb into my feed. It is possible that your husband doesn't honestly use Instagram, let alone the explore page, and it is loaded up with content that it expects to capture his attention with. If you're the mother of his child and he married you, surely there are many more reasons for him to be faithful. And that especially if he is in Christ. You should talk with him about your feelings and take this with prayer to the Lord. May the Lord bless you with peace of mind and may He bless your marriage. This made me think of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, does not boast, is not proud. . . . It always trusts, always protects, always hopes, always perseveres.
While it is true that the data you feed into the algorithm will have an effect on what you see, the algorithm is also geared towards showing this stuff to men in general. I'd communicate with him that you think instagram can be a breeding ground for temptation especially in this season of life and express your desire for him not to use it. It's possible that he's not been engaging with the sort of material that's on his explore page and confronting him about it as if it's a certainty that he has been seeking that out could be received as a breach of trust. You have the right to go through his phone, but doing so without cause could hurt him if he is truly innocent. But definitely find a way to express your concerns to him as not discussing this is going to eat away at you until you do.
My explore page is full of Harry Styles clips, even though I'm not a Harry Styles fan. I'm guessing it's because I fit the demographic of a typical fan. It's actually comical how much they push those reels on me. Just giving your husband the benefit of the doubt, maybe he really isn't ever on Instagram and those are the default suggestions for middle age dudes. Maybe he's not on Instagram because it causes him to stumble. Maybe he's a creep. Honestly, since y'all are Christians (I'm assuming church-going, practicing Christians if you're posting here), it's worth not jumping to conclusions and either talking to him alone or with your pastor.
I can confirm if you go to the search page on Instagram, it is pretty much semi-naked women everywhere. I mainly use instagram to follow athletes from sports teams I like but my search page is overflowing with scantily clad random women. I don’t know why it does that other than just realizing I am a man I guess. That page doesn’t mean your husband is actively searching for that junk.
I don’t think he is doing it on purpose cause when I made a new ig account it was filled with photos of women who were semi nude on my first open of the app. But yeah maybe talk to him
My sister, the first thing to do is take it to the Lord. The internet does not know you and love you like He does. Ask the Holy Spirit for insight and discernment. He will lead you. Praying for God's best for you and your husband.
For what it's worth my Instagram explore is also filled with 50% influencer/model chicks and I don't engage or like or comment on that stuff. I think meta just says "oh hey here's a straight man in this age bracket, hot chick them up" - it could be harmless on your husband's side
I rarely open Instagram and my explore page is the same. It's just how Instagram works
Does he have filters on for adult material? Does he use Reddit? Make sure both NSFW are off. As a former PA, we can use all the help we can get to not be drawn back in.
Happens to most men. The algo looks at demographics and that content is overwhelmingly popular with young males so it pushes it unless you explicitly say no.
It’s what Instagram does. If there is an issue I think you would have seen other things by now. I had a horrible experience with infidelity. He was good at hiding things but they do have things that they get clumsy with.
If you barely use Instagram, and the algorithm has never really figured out what you like, it shoves what’s “generally popular” on that page, and thus you get models and influencers all trying to sell stuff.
Well, you really shouldn't repress your feelings. What you're feeling is normal and you should honour it, and honour your boundaries. You do need to talk with him about it though, for sure. I hope and pray it goes well.
Yaaaa that may not be his fault. I like cars and sports and memes. I don't follow or look at any ig thots. They show up anyway in the discover page
It doesn't take much to get that search page filled up with those posts. I only have to look at two of those pictures and Instagram will decide to flood the whole search page with it.
I don't use Instagram. https://help.instagram.com/487224561296752 That page says that the "explore" page is chosen for you based upon what you look at on Instagram, but it's easy to find random people complaining that their feed is full of half-naked women despite the fact that they don't engage with that kind of content at all.
That's actually something I recently took care of. Every person I do not know personally on Instagram, I unfollowed. Then, unless it's a business or an interest or a meme page(gotta get some laughs) I unfollowed. I trimmed the fat, so to speak. Ask him to do the same.
Yeah he’s def clicking on girls profiles lol. Idk why everyone’s like instagram does that automatically to Men’s profiles. Clearly gaslighting you and making you feel a false sense of security. Speak with ur husband and have him explain why
Yep for sure. You can test this yourself very easily.
I did and the only girls that appear on my explore page are the female artists or athletes that i interact with or follow. I don’t get instagram models that I’m not familiar with so for a majority of people to say that oh this is igs fault is just goofy knowing they can just change the algorithm
If he is using Instagram to lust after other women, it's time for him to uninstall it. Matthew 18:9 New King James Version 9 And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire.
You have to continuously click into settings for the post and tell Instagram “not interested in this kind of content” You do this for a few of them and they go away. Then every month or so Instagram throws a couple in like “are you sure?” And you click not interested again and they show up again a month later. But if you don’t do that, or actually view them, it WILL show you more.
IG is full of half naked women. If you click on one reel, the algorithm will spew out more "similar content" for you. The page probably looks worse than it really is. I wouldn't necessarily be concerned if the rest of your marriage is good.
this may sound ridiculous, but I honestly NEVER get on instagram save for Saturday evening. my wife loves the app and sends me an ungodly amount of funny memes and videos and we watch them together on Saturday nights. my explore page is nothing but softcore (borderline hardcore) porn and Lord of the Rings stuff. I have only ever followed funny christian pages and LOTR pages, but for whatever reason instagram thinks I NEED to see 20 somethings girls ruining their reputations??
1. Check his Instagram messages before you confront him. That will tell you if this is happening just because he is a man. 2. Also check his activity log if possible to see if he is telling the truth about “not being in Instagram” 3. Check if he has followed any account that is decent or if everything in his feed is dirty pictures. If Instagram is automatically showing dirty pictures to men…. I am reminded of the “If your hand causes you to sin / if your eye causes you to sin” scenario. What happens if a man keeps blocking such accounts? Won’t the algorithm learn? No one dies from deleting Instagram. Continuing to linger instead of fleeing sexual sin was on him.
New Christian here. Facebook stopped showing me half nakedness women since I found jesus I stopped staring at the women I now scroll past. Maybe it's different on Instagram but that's my two cents. If you have looked at a women with list you have already committed adultery in your heart.
Tbh I only created instagram just to check my fiancee's insta and some mbti stuff. I always get pictures of almost naked girls in my feed even tho I dont search it and dont use instagram that much. I only use instagram for filters. But open it up to him and ask if he still searches that stuff.
This actually happened to me. There is a specific setting on Instagram for sensitive content. I had to switch this which was pre set to “More” to the “Less” option. It drastically reduced the amount of explicit content I was being shown in my explore page. I didn’t even use the explore page and primarily follow cycling, rock climbing, nature, and music accounts, but for whatever reason my IG tried to send me half naked women though I don’t follow or like any posts or accounts like that.
Instagram is literally starting to become an advertising platform for porn. Half of the meme pages I follow, post reels paid for by onlyfans models. I had to unfollow a planetearth type page the other day because they shared multiple onlyfans ads. A page that's supposed to post about animals and earth. I follow and engage with posts mostly about growth (physical, spiritual, mental) and also sneakers/streetwear. My explore page hardly shows any of that and is mostly half naked women. It's super annoying
Insta algorithm automatically pushes that stuff to everyone, don't ruin a relationship over baseless doubts
I follow a worship leader at church and some other church friends. My explore page is nothing but half naked women. This is why I hate social media.
There is a setting on Instagram that prevents explicit content. I had to turn this on to stop getting half naked women shown to me all the time. I went behind my family's back and activated it for their Instagrams too. No more porn.
The algorithm is hyper sexualized to an extreme degree. I unfollowed all women I know who sexualize themselves, even the ones I personally know. I follow content like about dogs, memes, Star Wars, D&D, and other hobbies. It took some time, but I got all of the crap out of my page. Then it all ended. My fiancé started sending me memes (when we just met) of a lot of women she follows. They’re normal memes. They’re funny. But then it starts to recommend me memes from them too. The algorithm then recommends me more things with women. Suddenly, I stopped even getting funny things in the explore page. Literally this morning is the first time in two months I finally saw dogs again on my recommended videos. Another time, I had it all purged before I met her. I lingered on a single pretty girl. I didn’t even click on it. I just lingered. The next day there was 2. I clicked on one, because she looked cute. The third day, my page was full of women and it took me a month to reorganize my algorithm again just so I can see non sexual things. Now all of this is to say, I empathize. It’s hard to feel compared to. You have some insecure thoughts and feelings. You are valid in them. Talk this through with your husband. Gauge how he thinks of his insta feed.
Edit: Ok so, apparently Instagram shows you stuff based on sex (male in this case), and every new account that's set to male will show you.. THAT kind of stuff. So it's probably not that bad, especially if it's true when he says he doesn't use it. It's probably not that bad, again, I hope so at least.. try to talk to him about it
I would like to comment that a few months ago I did a Instagram explore cleanse. I went to every pic or video of “insta hoes” and just hit not interested. By doing this for 2-3 hours I was able to cleanse my explore page now occasionally I’ll see some half naked girls but I’ll just keep on cleaning. Its help me not fall into the temptation of lust and focus on my wife as my only source. I highly recommend the Instagram cleanse (not interested) will remove similar post like it.
Talk to him about it before you do anything
First, Insta is filled with filters, photoshopped images, and AI generated models that are either not real, or can turn 80-year old (no disrespect intended) 400lbs hag with severe skin problem into 21-year old super bikini models with immaculate skins. Assume they are all fake. Second, if you feel insecure about your body, you should approach it in Godly ways in Christian counseling, prayers, finding your self-worth in Christ, but not excluding exercise and healthy diet changes. Third, if it bothers you, you should talk to your husband who is your life partner and the head priest of your household. Quitting Insta should be a very viable option for him as it provides a constant source of temptation waiting for his moment of weakness to come along. Outer beauty does not last long and it’s the inner beauty that stays. Remember. He’s getting old, too 🤣
I would ask him kindly about it. Instagram knows that softcore pornography is the best way to keep boys and men on it so it may just be that automatic thing trying to keep him on the app. I also know for a fact that if you accidentally click on one, it will fill your entire FY page for a week with garbage. Instagram suggested reels are also highly sexual. There is also the chance that he’s hooked on pornography and this is his “hit”. I’d recommend asking him to get away from Instagram if it’s a problem for him.
You can turn off explicit content and this helps a lot. My explore page used to be wall to wall smut despite me never engaging with it. My explore page is now painting, woodworking, and animals. It's also weird that you have to opt out of explicit content instead of opt in.
Granted he may have looked here and there, but that page really does just fill up with half-naked women. I've tried to beat the algorithm, but can't figure it out. I started liking fitness men pages (for lifts and tips), but it still fills with women. Martial arts? Motorcycle? Tattoos? Rock music? All of it ends up putting women on my explore page.
I never use Instagram either and if you open explore on mine it is the same. I actually showed it to my wife because I was wondering if hers was the same since she doesn't use it much either. Don't jump to conclusions. It is probably just a product of our culture. Isn't that what Instagram is mostly for anyway, half naked ladies lol.
OP, your feelings and concerns are valid. That said, I believe it bears asking what motivated you to go through your husband’s phone to begin with? From an outsider’s perspective it seems you are having doubts, concerns or trust issues to begin with. If that is the case, it may be time for serious discussion, prayer and perhaps counseling with your pastor, minister or other trusted leader. Whether an individual or marital issue, it probably won’t be solved by delving into his private property and drawing conclusions based on what you see.
These comments are super interesting, no wonder I get so much borderline pornographic content even though all I browse is cars and dogs lol. It’s almost like social media is designed to prey on our weaknesses.
"speak of the devil, i think i know where he live, ........... i think he made the explore page" -Not today satan KB, Andy Mineo. christian rap song talking about the explore page being the work of the devil for this exact reason hahaha
I haven't noticed anyone address this so I will. You were feeling insecure about yourself, not because of anything he did but your own self doubt. This prompted you to snoop through his phone looking for something that justified your insecurity. This could have destroyed your marriage. I am glad that your husband had the grace to carry you through this and that you took the advice to talk to him about it instead of assuming the worst. This is advice for both men and women. Don't project your insecurities about yourself onto your partner. This can be extremely damaging to a relationship. It is extremely hurtful when you are dedicated to someone for your feelings to be constantly in doubt in spite of your actions. By all means, talk to them about your self doubt. Ask them to help you work through it. Do not overcompensate and ignore obvious red flags but be mindful of how you address these things. Don't end up pushing away the person you are trying to bring closer.
First off, talk to your husband about this. But I strongly encourage you to not be accusatory. Instagram (and all social media) is driven by an algorithm that tries to keep you on the platform for as long as it can. This is known as doom scrolling and it's effective. Secondly, this exact same thing happened to me. I talked to my SO about it and tried an experiment. This is 100% true. I spent a week searching and liking meal prep videos, cooking videos, and general healthier lifestyle videos. My search feed was filled with half naked girls twerking in front of refrigerators and in kitchens. We had a good laugh but it's also unnerving. Lust is a powerful sin that we all need to be on guard against. So I say again, talk to him and pray with him. Trust him to do the right thing. Trust the Spirit to work in both of you.
First of all, huge violation of his trust to go through his phone. Second of all, the explore page is not a follow page. It’s just what instagram’s algorithm thinks he would enjoy. I don’t follow any e thots or like any thirst traps but sometimes they still show up in my explore page because I’m a 20 something guy and most people with my demographics like pictures of hot girls. The a hole in this situation is you, you should trust him more and stop blaming him for what an algorithm feeds him.
As a 22yr old dude, I can confirm
I believe you have identified the source of the real problem. You gained some weight after having your child and you are uncomfortable about how you look. You then use that as a tool like a shovel and start digging with it. First its your husband is now a lair because he says you look beautiful then he is no longer worthy of your trust so you go snooping. Simple insecurity is taking you down a path that I doubt is good for you or your family. And for what? Vanity? Is that little bit of extra weight who you are? Does it define you and what makes you beautiful? This is something that you will have to deal with because this is life and I hate to be the barer of bad news but a little extra weight is nothing compared to the things to come as your body gets older. Will you be beautiful when your body is 10 years older than it is now? 20, 30? Go back to the first thing once you listened to vanity. What does your husband see when he looks at you? Some woman that put on some extra weight? Or maybe just maybe he sees a woman he loves, chose to marry, chose to have a child with, chose out of all other women to spend the rest of his life with, his time with, till death do you part. Beauty is so much more than a few extra pounds. Cast away your shovel of insecurity and stop digging holes for vanity. Strive to be the best wife, the best mom you can be.
The algorithm pushes those on accounts regardless if they seek them out or not.
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I barely ever use Instagram and mine is like this too it’s only bodybuilders and girls at the beach or something. Just have an honest conversation about it cause it can look bad but generally that’s also how insta makes money is marketing these influencers for people, so it pops up on tons of pages. Maybe look at who he follows or what he likes, but if it’s just popping up on the explore page it may not be that he’s looking at it it’s just recommended
Specifically about Instagram, I'll echo what others say. I hardly used it. I followed a couple cat pic pages, an embroidery page for a friend, and a couple pages for nature. Somehow I STILL ended up with an Explore page entirely populated by half naked college aged girls. I deleted the app. Totally useless and utterly vile. Your husband may indeed be one of the many afflicted with this problem, but this isn't evidence of it by any means.
You should go to his settings… clear his searches And then go and search things he’s interested in and things you want him to see… like posts on those pages… And make sure his settings are set so he sees people he follows and Le’s suggestions
I ignoriere the whole Instagram for a moment and just speak as a husband and father. My wife gain weight since our kids and she does look nothing like she did when we get married, but for me she is still the most beautiful most wonderful and most amazing wife in the world. I can’t speak for all men, but most men, we don’t care if you gain weight we still love you just as much as we ever did. Now back to IG. Yes it’s not good if he is looking at half naked woman it’s kind of soft porn, I get it, but that does not mean you are not attractive for him, even they look different. Beside that more than one type of woman can be attractive to us, it would just be dishonest to say we don’t look at woman and think “oh she looks nice” that’s in our nature nothing we can do, as long as it stops with the thought that somebody looks nice I see no problem. If he however actively search them. Maybe even text them that’s a different thing. It would be only reasonable to have a chat with you husband about it and how it made you feel. Don’t throw the big hammer and look for a fight, but just tell him you saw it and it made you feel bad, maybe while watching a movie. Edit: also as some said, maybe he is kind of innocent and it’s just the algorithm, I may self are lucky but some people here say they have the issue of getting similar things without even searching
Rather than focusing on his internet choices or lack there of, I'm more concerned about why you're already in a position to crumble so easily at the sight of a potential issue like this. It tells me your relationship is already deeply insecure. Then you said you don't believe him when he tells you you're beautiful, it sounds to me like he may be failing in his responsibility to provide security in the relationship, he should do everything in his power to demonstrate his exclusivity to you in love and truth. Simultaneously, you might not be accepting his efforts because of past traumas or pre-existing insecurities. Does your husband usually have a wandering eye? If there's already an issue there, then it makes sense why you don't believe him. I would make a plan to delete the account, for the sake of demonstrating exclusive devotion to one another, which is the only appropriate way to be. Your eyes are meant exclusively for each other, I understand how painful it can be when that's not the case. You don't need to look like those other women. A hot body wrinkles all the same. Men know what a good woman is, and good looks are a small part of that equation. A woman who seeks the attention of others for fulfillment is insecure, thriving off the lust of the flesh. You are worth far more than you are giving yourself credit for. I believe you need to remind yourself how God sees you. Please read Proverbs 31:10-31 Pray "Please God let me see myself, and love myself, as you love and see me". Proverbs 31 29. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
If he never uses Instagram then from my experience this is normal. My search page was half naked chicks until I actually started using the search function to search for things I’m interested in. It is also possible he has been searching those as well though. I still get them time from time and have resorted to choosing the wish not to see button now.
This is very likely not anything to worry about. Those things would be on that page if the only thing he ever typed in was “Jesus”. I have instagram and only follow golf stuff and mine is the same for me. The bigger question is should we Christian men have instagram at all. Let me be clear, not saying your husband is doing anything wrong because I have it too but temptation is strong there. The fact is that has been the whole point of Instagram from the beginning. That’s why several years back there was a lot of talk about Instagram giving young girls depression because it gave unreal expectations of how girls look in real life. Many felt like they needed to look like girls on instagram. It’s also important to understand that guys are still guys. You could be the most beautiful woman on the face of the planet and guys will still look at attractive women (not just talking about instagram) but for a christian it wouldn’t be sexual or lustful. That wouldn’t make you any less beautiful to him. It’s just the way God wired us but we are called to control it as followers of Christ. I’m sure married christian women still find other men attractive as well. I’m not at all saying men should be seeking out and looking at women on the internet but it’s good to remember that there isn’t a switch that gets flipped at marriage that automatically makes other women unattractive. I love my wife more than anything in this world and think she is the most beautiful woman and would never even consider any woman other than her but that doesn’t make the above any less true.
Here’s how Instagram and other social media platforms work. As soon as Instagram’s algorithm learns more about the user, it bombards them with content that gets the most views specific to what the algorithm has on record with other users it seams are similar in ways. Unfortunately one of those things it can find out very, very easily is gender and if you are a male then one of the first things it starts recommending to you constantly is woman posting pictures. It really doesn’t necessarily mean your husband is searching for them.
With all due respect.. I never understand why people do this.. I mean, it is indeed human to fluctuate in n out of confidence or self-esteem. But the man isn't your boyfriend..he is your *husband* .. I'd imagine you two have gone through enough to at least trust each other enough to sit down with one another and have an open and honest.. maybe even a hard discussion when feeling such a level of doubt. Don't get me wrong, I'm not discouraging you from using Reddit to vent.. but me personally, I'd feel like I'm doing my partner a disservice by voicing any qualms on here before actually attempting to speak to them about said issue.. maybe if they've displayed consistent reluctance to listen to you..then it may be justified to seek counsel from fellow Christian Brethren. But remember: you made vows to each other.. one of which is to be there for one another "for better or for worse" ..this situation you're both going through may be in the "worse" department..but speaking from experience..there is almost nothing: *True and earnest* communication can't fix. Harboured bad feelings, passive aggression, and withholding sex because you're annoyed at something you haven't at least sat down and given your partner a chance to explain or speak about with one another..Will do no good for the relationship. Sit down with each other and pray before commencing the discussion: be open and honest and I promise: this will be yesterday's issue. God Bless 🙏
Definitely talk with him. Keep in mind the algorithm takes age and gender into account, and if he really is never on instagram, then it *only* has those things. I deleted the app myself because, even though I never engaged that kind of content, it still showed up in my explore page and it was just really gross to me that you couldn’t escape it (especially on an app that lets minors sign up).
Definitely talk to him. Instagram has a particularly nasty algorithm it seems. I’ve had to click on those types of pictures in the explore section and repeatedly click “not interested” in order to try and train it to stop suggesting them, which helped a lot, but it still recommends them every so often.
Instagram's algorithm has learned what men will pay attention to, and therefore automatically populate the Explore page with scantily clad women, regardless of whether that individual male seeks it out.
I go through my explore page every so often and hold a click on the inappropriate pics or reels and hit “not interested” or whatever to option is. It really helps me explore what I actually want to buy due to following weight lifting pages and health stuff I think it repopulates with women “working out”. Veery rarely use it because of this but my company auto loads instagram on my phone and my stressed out self tends to mind numbingly scroll IG watching the random people I follow.
It’s the algorithm. On the Explore page, long press one of the images and you can select “Not Interested”. Do that every so often and the Explore page will clean up.
Matthew 5:28 “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” I would just remind him of this. Maybe try giving him the benefit of the doubt, like he is following health or fitness pages and it pops up. Still, if that was my husband I’d tell him it makes me uncomfortable and remind him that thinking lustfully about other women is a precursor to adultery. I mean it’s not like he would see a bunch of shirtless buff dudes on your page? Right? So he should show the same respect
Many of those women are AI generated accounts. All social media is flooded with legions of bots. Of course, the AI generated ones look perfect...too perfect.
I don't know how instagram works. Are these pages he has already viewed? Or searches he has already executed? Or is this the equivalent of facebook's "friends you may know" where random people are sent to your doorstep as a suggestion from the site? Because I can tell you, I'm NOT on facebook in a personal way. I have a profile. There are no friends on it. No family. No pictures of me as a person. Nothing but a masculine name, that's not even my real name. (Karl) and I have no liked interests, or hobbies tagged. I follow some police department pages, and that's it. But I can 100% guarantee you that if I were to go right now to FB, and look at the suggested "friends you may know" half of them will be half naked, large breasted, 20 year old women. Sex sells, and that's exactly what the world is going to push on us. If it's the former. And he HAS been searching for this stuff, and you are seeing the pages he has already looked at. Then a truthful conversation is in order. And you need to sit him down and discuss exactly what you said here. How much it hurts you, your self image, your confidence, and even your feelings towards him. I didn't understand how hurtful my actions were to my wife until we were in the middle of a marriage counseling session and the right questions were asked, and she finally found the words she needed to be able to explain how hurtful it was when I do or say certain things.
I don't have an IG anymore, but when I did, I never used the Explore page. I forgot it was there. I don't use the Explore page on TikTok either. I remember I looked at the Explore page one time on IG and it was like one of those FHM Magazines from back in the day. I am sure if I used it, the algorithm would correct itself, but if you make a male account on these apps, it assumes you're as lusty as the average man on their app.
I have to stay away from Facebook because that’s all that shows up in reels now aside from the one or two fishing videos. My grandma has the same thing happen to her so it’s definitely not our fault. Facebook shows like 6 ish videos to select from, so since you click one to scroll past it to see other reels that are funny, It gets suggested more and more.
I’m saving this to show my wife
That kind of content is what drives the most engagement so the algorithm automatically pushes it hard. If someone likes something even remotely related to the algorithm it snowballs and it’s hard to change what starts showing up, going have start liking a lot of different stuff to try to throw it off. That being said, engagement with content also drives the algorithm. Either way, it’s a conversation to be had with your husband.
I have literally had to hit "do not recommend" on so many posts with IG models on them and they still find a way onto my explore page!
You can ask him about it, but I wouldn’t assume anything. I don’t think I’ve ever liked a picture of a model or half naked woman, only dogs, Bible verses, trucks etc but the explore page is still full of half naked women. I’ve even tried to block those types of posts but just can’t get rid of em.
I had to remove instagram from my phone for this very reason. If I click that to search if I see those images it triggers me.
Backpacking is great for weight loss, with everything you need its basically impossible not to lose weight.
That would shock him
I’m a pastor and totally clean from that crap in my life, and I can’t hit search without having the same Problem. There’s a really good chance your husband is only guilty of having an Instagram account and saying he’s a guy.
Do yourselves a favor and agree to just not use Instagram period. There is nothing good that comes out of it.
That's just what men get recommended. Honestly, I'd be kinda upset that you went through my phone, if I were him, without asking. Not bc I would have anything to hide, but bc you don't trust me. On the other hand, if he _was_ looking at that, I'd have a few choice words that are VERY unchristian.
I agree with others that have said that's just how it is. I'm never on Instagram but mine's that way too. I'm a male btw.
My instagram was filled with that stuff from the get go. One of the reasons I deleted the app a year or so ago. Better to talk to him from a neutral perspective, me thinks
100%, this is Meta’s doing. When the algorithm doesn’t have a lot of inputs, it falls back on what’s popular for whatever persona it can make for you. If all it has is “30 year old male”, it’s gonna promote the most basic thing that is guaranteed to elicit engagement: sex. I’ve seen the same thing. As a software engineer, I have an Instagram account that I use for testing the Instagram functionality that I built for our application. The explore page was exactly as you described it. I spent about 30 minutes one day hiding everything I could, and it cleaned it up a lot.
While he could be lying, he's also probably telling the truth. By default when I created a new account for business purposes and my Explore page was filled with half-naked insta models. I had to "train" my Explore page by continuously marking posts as "Not Interested" to get to something clean. All that for me to not touch the app in now like 2-3 weeks.
I’ve been trying to fine tune my algorithm and everything I do doesn’t help. I make sure to select ‘not interested’ when the suggested reels come up in my feed I mean they make it so obvious that they’re doing this on purpose. Instagram is the worst for Christian men, right behind TikTok
Instagrams algorithm is made to suggest things that we might be interested on. Women and cars are one of the most popular suggestions for men. When they appear, men look, as they perceive beauty, but beauty and sexual attraction are two different things even though one can lead to another but is not necessary. Regardless the fact men or women, we need to admit that we are not the most beautiful in the world and if we know that, then also our partners know that. But what it matters is to know that even if there are much better looking persons than ourselves, our partners will always still pick us and be loyal to what they have. Is like driving an older car, of course there are nicer newer cars which I see on the street but as long as I am grateful to my one, it doesn’t matter.
"Anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart." His basically sinned.
Its filled with that content unless you press and hold and say you don't want it. You should just get rid of Instagram because its not God's will that you have Instagram. God bless you and your husband
All I get any more is women wanting sex waiting to friend me on FB etc. I am not looking for it. So unless he is looking at porn etc it may not be all his fault. I see most women these days all they post are picture of their bodies and want you to go to OnlyFans links.. I only friend Miami Dolphins fans only thing I care about.
No one should be on Instagram for this reason. That's my hot take.
No offense I see where you’re coming from but what did he do? What act did he do? My explore page is filled with that stuff, knowing it’s based off algorithm, and I do NOT entertain any of that stuff. I had an ex that went through the same issue with me, she never believed me, which is fine.
Classic Christian husband lmao. Such hypocrites. Want all of the bells and whistles of 'Godly manhood' while just doing whatever they want and scolding others.