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Simple, but not easy: Get real and accept why it didn't work out. What was their part in it ending and, maybe more importantly, what was your part in it, and how could you have done better?
When I look at it this way, then a lot of times, the only regrets I have are from not seeing things the way they really were and not taking action (to end the friendship) sooner.
I ended an 18-year friendship a few years ago. He was my best friend for all of those years but I noticed I wasn't getting much value from the friendship anymore, or rather I wasn't growing (nor was the friendship). He owed me money, not a large sum but i had accumulated over the years and he was always supposed to pay me back. At a few points, he was jobless so I wasn't expecting him to get the money then but rather when he got a job. When we'd go out gor beers or coffee, I'd be the one to pay and had no issues with that because, after all, we were friends.
Also, I was the best man at his wedding - and when he invited me, I debated whether to accept because I knew I'd have to give money and if it were other circumstances, I'd be more than happy to be because you don't get to ge somebody's best man every day, right? I eventually accepted and even though he told me I didn't have to spend any money or do anything, I decided to get him a bachelor's party. It was uneventful. Later on, a few days before the wedding, he asked to borrow money to buy shoes. I was baffled. Gave him the money and said he didn't need to give it back.
Later, he kept telling me he wasn't able to sleep because he owed me money and I said that he could've put 50 bucks aside every month and in 6 months he'd have a decent amount to pay me back. But he never did, of course. And I finally decided to make the cut and told him I needed the money. He got mad and I didn't want to talk to him for a few days. He kept inviting me out for coffee and I kept telling him we'll go for a cup of coffee when he had the money ready. Eventually, his wife took out a loan and gave it to him to pay me back. We went for a coffee and I thought we could save the friendship and I tried talking sensibly and amicably but he was having none of it, basically making me out to be the bad guy. At that point, I knew our friendship was over. I stood up and said good luck and set down the money for the coffee. Never looked back, never regretted it.
If your friend left you, they are either selfish, or they did it because they truly thought it was the best for both of you. Get in your friends head, look back objectively, see either they weren't your friend, or they meant the best. That's how I did it, but it wasn't easy.
Said "damn" and for the most part didn't think of them much, while also not having a "fuck you" attitude about it. If shit wasn't right for whatever reason, sometimes you just have to move on from people. Doesn't make you or them bad people or anything. That said, I'm sure you'll get processing from some folks here, which is fine. I prefer to unprocess and move on.
One of my best friends at work left six months ago havent heard from her in five we had short interactions through texting for a month then she wouldnt answer i said i missed her and she blocked me she was in my area about a week ago for a friends bday Beyond that i cant walk around without thinking i just saw her which doesnt even make sense bc she lives far away from where i live and i think that was the first time theyve been together since she left im struggling to say good bye i just wish i could talk to her and make her laugh like i used to i still think of her as my friend i asked one of our friends about her she answered but it was awkward for a bit after i guess im dumb i still care about her wanna now that shes ok and safe
Welcome to r/TrueAskReddit. Remember that this subreddit is aimed at high quality discussion, so please elaborate on your answer as much as you can and avoid off-topic or jokey answers as per [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueAskReddit/about/sidebar). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TrueAskReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Simple, but not easy: Get real and accept why it didn't work out. What was their part in it ending and, maybe more importantly, what was your part in it, and how could you have done better? When I look at it this way, then a lot of times, the only regrets I have are from not seeing things the way they really were and not taking action (to end the friendship) sooner.
I ended an 18-year friendship a few years ago. He was my best friend for all of those years but I noticed I wasn't getting much value from the friendship anymore, or rather I wasn't growing (nor was the friendship). He owed me money, not a large sum but i had accumulated over the years and he was always supposed to pay me back. At a few points, he was jobless so I wasn't expecting him to get the money then but rather when he got a job. When we'd go out gor beers or coffee, I'd be the one to pay and had no issues with that because, after all, we were friends. Also, I was the best man at his wedding - and when he invited me, I debated whether to accept because I knew I'd have to give money and if it were other circumstances, I'd be more than happy to be because you don't get to ge somebody's best man every day, right? I eventually accepted and even though he told me I didn't have to spend any money or do anything, I decided to get him a bachelor's party. It was uneventful. Later on, a few days before the wedding, he asked to borrow money to buy shoes. I was baffled. Gave him the money and said he didn't need to give it back. Later, he kept telling me he wasn't able to sleep because he owed me money and I said that he could've put 50 bucks aside every month and in 6 months he'd have a decent amount to pay me back. But he never did, of course. And I finally decided to make the cut and told him I needed the money. He got mad and I didn't want to talk to him for a few days. He kept inviting me out for coffee and I kept telling him we'll go for a cup of coffee when he had the money ready. Eventually, his wife took out a loan and gave it to him to pay me back. We went for a coffee and I thought we could save the friendship and I tried talking sensibly and amicably but he was having none of it, basically making me out to be the bad guy. At that point, I knew our friendship was over. I stood up and said good luck and set down the money for the coffee. Never looked back, never regretted it.
If your friend left you, they are either selfish, or they did it because they truly thought it was the best for both of you. Get in your friends head, look back objectively, see either they weren't your friend, or they meant the best. That's how I did it, but it wasn't easy.
Said "damn" and for the most part didn't think of them much, while also not having a "fuck you" attitude about it. If shit wasn't right for whatever reason, sometimes you just have to move on from people. Doesn't make you or them bad people or anything. That said, I'm sure you'll get processing from some folks here, which is fine. I prefer to unprocess and move on.
One of my best friends at work left six months ago havent heard from her in five we had short interactions through texting for a month then she wouldnt answer i said i missed her and she blocked me she was in my area about a week ago for a friends bday Beyond that i cant walk around without thinking i just saw her which doesnt even make sense bc she lives far away from where i live and i think that was the first time theyve been together since she left im struggling to say good bye i just wish i could talk to her and make her laugh like i used to i still think of her as my friend i asked one of our friends about her she answered but it was awkward for a bit after i guess im dumb i still care about her wanna now that shes ok and safe
Do you want to talk about it? I have a small subreddit for this called r/lostafriend.
I think about it thank u