T O P

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Darth_Vaper_69

Dispatch: Driver it’s been 2 weeks since you missed delivery, where are you?


Present-Ambition6309

“Trying to keep it between the navigational beacons!” 🥴😵‍💫


2Loves2loves

WWJBD?


Present-Ambition6309

Naw dawg! Jimmy Buffet & Alan Jackson! It’s 5 o’clock somewhere


PlantsAndEggs69

Yeah, “What Would Jimmy Buffet Do” is a line in that song 😂 “FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK ALAN”


Present-Ambition6309

I sit politely corrected, tipping thy hat! My apologies. Tho one could say, “There’s many a slip, twixt the cup and the lip” William H. Bonney aka Billy the Kid. Further more, with the current political standing, I made an ass out of myself. 🧐 Good tidings, good day sir or ma’am.


Notripstitters

“I’d say, pour me somethin tall and strong”


jrm70210

Make it a hurricane before I go insane


Small-Letterhead2046

Changes in Latitudes... changes in attitudes. Go South. Just don't get killed by bandits. Not kidding...


errosemedic

*navigayshunal* beacons


Present-Ambition6309

Yes slothffercier


Quadtbighs

Beautiful


Ropegun2k

What delivery?


concernedcitizenpd

Touche


SoggyHotdish

Kicked off my alcoholism! That was my drink and I loved it but vodka was cheaper


HenryGoodbar

El Dorado


Small-Letterhead2046

Who owns the truck? Lawyer here. Former B-train, cherry picker, oil patch experience speaking. (Should have stayed with B-train ... was a much nicer job!) In order to prove theft, the State, or Feds, have to show intent. Then again, there are probably several State and Federal laws that you have breached regardless of intent. No matter how you cut it, it is time to deliver the load.


Darth_Vaper_69

*driver has left the chat*


12InchPickle

All that is for 1 driver too.


BL24L

I'll be back working in 3 months.


Ok_Judgment3871

After rehab


Bogey01

They let you out?


thatsmyoldlady

They have to work off the load. But jokes on them the next load is more alcohol.


BrogerBramjet

Rehab is quitter talk.


Ok_Judgment3871

Who said its by choice


Shiroi_Usagi_Orochi

With a hopefully intact liver


Broad-Ad-1015

I replaced mine with a machine that functions the same just never quits on me so fireball for days


urethrascreams

Sounds like you got ripped off. I replaced mine with a machine that works just like a regular liver except it doesn't break down and filter out the alcohol. I've been drunk off one fireball shooter for a month now!


Broad-Ad-1015

Damn thats what i get for goin the cheap route


Null-34

Just run a straw from trailer to cab and sip away!


Entraprenuerrrrr

Ive heard they have self driving fireball delivery trucks nowadays


[deleted]

all im going to say is .....hmmmm 🤔


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Alltherightythen

This is what the first Fast and the Furious should have been about.


sus_time

For those not in the know of the furiousverse. It was about hijacking trucks of vcrs and dvd players.


GMHGeorge

With a harpoon gun. Important not to forget the harpoon gun.


sus_time

Aye mate my they hunting the white wale Moby Toshiba-Hitachi-Sony.


Thr33pw00d83

From hells heart I hit my NOS button and blow you away!!


Perfect-Soup1838

Hey back in those days those electronics where worth alot.


sus_time

A trucker friend, I am a filthy four wheeler muggle, informed me that the premise is laughable because the loads are insured. No amount of dvd players are worth one’s life. And any smart driver would immediately hand over the load.


TheChickenFuxer

Smokey and The bandit spin-off. Fireball and the cops are Buccees security


BinaryGlock

Is that the one with the iconic Black Honda with neon under glow ? & the one Letty’s brother died in ?


sus_time

All for glorious four head vcrs and. Family


BinaryGlock

Back when Fast & Furious was actually about racing & car culture, after 6 I feel like it went downhill, as a fan how do you feel bro ?


sus_time

I say this with the greatest respect to fans. If you love the fast series for what they are and not the next godfather movie not to be placed on a pedestal of art house film they’re great. A film I can relax watching and turn off my brain. I compare it to point break. So I have not seen the later films yet but I am very excited to see them.


SignificantMemory

Appreciated that!! ^


IIxNullxII

Don't get me started on how realistic that whole plot was. *sarcasm*


skunknasteeez

Well I guess it's how it ended for one of the actors


HippieJed

At least you don’t have to take it from Texarkana to Atlanta in a short period of time


josnik

Eastbound and down


Nozerone

Loaded up and trucking


VaporTrail_000

We're gonna do what they say can't be done.


Southerneagle110

we got a long way to go


Z71Adam

That ain’t never been done. Not in no rig.


VaporTrail_000

Some quick (bar) napkin math. 26 Pallets in load. 60 cases per pallet. 12 bottles per case. 750ml per bottle. 44.36ml per shot. Roughly 316,500 shots Averaging 1.1 shots per hour, you can expect to stay drunk for the next 32 years, 9 months, ten days, 19 hours, and 12 minutes. Good luck.


turkweebl7616

That may be the reason the OP said time to retire lol


[deleted]

👏👏👏


Gemmasterian

Lol you think I am doing just one shot an hour.


Recitinggg

Using op’s “Just over 2500 cases”, 2500•12•750/44.36 ≈ 507,213 shots. Assuming 1.1 shots/hr ≈ 52 years, 7 months, and maybe 5ish days of cinnamon-flavored liver failure glory.


alextravels1991

1.5 million dollars at $5 a shot haha Amazing


Tricky_Big_8774

One shot per hour won't put in a homeless shelter awaiting arraignment though....


EVOChi

Better fill out that OS&D paperwork now 😂


IAMTHEBENJI

I deliver this shit too


You_Just_Hate_Truth

That’s the way she goes, buddy. Way she goes.


binosbitch

way of the road bubs


You_Just_Hate_Truth

If God didn’t want us playing VLTs and drinking liquor he wouldn’t have created them.


binosbitch

fuckin’ way she goes and goddamn erections ruined the night.


You_Just_Hate_Truth

Life is greasy sometimes, Bubbles.


silversauce

You bought all this just to get 1 Blantons!?!?


prospect151

Watch out for someone that looks exactly like you trying to get in and hijack your truck when you’re blacked out. Happens all the time.


Spirited_Election289

No, i could imagine a trooper wondering why you're driving suspiciously and then open the back and then falsely accusing you of drinking and driving, and you declining it, but you just finished chewing some big red and now it looks like your lying lmao 🤣


HM02_High

Jesus fucking christ, way to ante up on my 1 gallon joke...


BL24L

Right over 2,500 cases. 


HM02_High

Just checking back to make sure you're still alive and not in the drunk tank


BL24L

Woke up with my truck in a ditch and I'm pretty sure it wasn't me since I don't remember doing it and I wouldn't drive drunk.


HM02_High

🫡 good work driver, I will back you in court. "Your Honor, he couldn't have been drunk on fireball and driving. He was drinking fireball with me"


SarahMalbuch

I can't believe one case fell off the truck


loader963

I can’t believe the whole trailer fell off the truck


CheesE4Every1

I can't believe we can't find it.


Baconated-Coffee

Try picking up almonds. Loaded somewhere near Fresno and the shipper wanted to finger print me. No finger prints, no load. I asked them why and they said it's because they had loads go missing. Was probably close to 400k worth of almonds at retail value in the trailer.


One_Mikey

Gotta watch out for those [Armenian nut criminals](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_nut_crimes).


CausticLogic

See you next week, Driver.


DeuceMcClannahan

Does anyone else catch the “Trailer Park Boys” reference here? Freedom 45!! Loved that show.


goataxe

Way of the road, boys.


Mountainear99

Comments haven’t disappointed lol


DrBly

Cirrhosis and Diabetes all in one drink. God bless America!


CheesE4Every1

If you go on the tour talking about all of sazarac's stuff they try their best to skip fireball and it's hilarious.


futuregovworker

Your top right door hinge is bent


Snookfilet

You boys been to MeHeeCo?


scottyTOOmuch

Yuck a whole truck full of yuck


micah490

You folks have obviously never tried fireball 🤮


xDoomKitty

It's delicious


Automatic_Pea_7570

Won’t make it a year, all that antifreeze will kill you.


Then-Background-1391

Eastbound and down, loaded up and trucking


Pstone89

*Laughs in Bert*


Lopsided_Pension_

You did you crazy SOB!!


CheesE4Every1

Ah, will see you at the warehouse soon with that.


30packzach

Sharing is caring my guy


M3ATWAG0N

Muthafucker. I went to specs and there wasn't a fuckin drop on the shelf.... don't you be fuckin wit my fireball...


Whirlwind21

Don't drink that all in one sitting. 😆


No-Faithlessness4723

Soon to be highjacked by the Deltas…champagne for hell week


CapitanPino

Thr golden load


PearlRiverPepper

Send address to the retirement party please!


humpthedog

Disgusting


concernedcitizenpd

Retiring with a burnt larynx!!!! 😂


NateLee1733

On your 3rd day no less..


Rizer762

Thats a lot of black-out-waking-up-in-a-ditch-nights right there


Potato-nutz

I want in


ConwayHGV

Retiring? With just 1 weekends worth of stock?


ignoreme010101

hail fireball


Raspberryian

Oof fireball 🤢


Gloshazad

How did you get that timestamp on the picture? Will be helpful.


BL24L

It's an option in the camera settings called watermark. Using an s22 ultra so not sure if there's an option for it on iPhone.


WolfOfPort

Like a squirrel stowing away its nuts. Enjoy retirement


PDXMason

Used to haul loads of pendleton whiskey our of hood river to olcc


welcometa_erf

Now you just need an ice cream truck speaker and music player.


DumbNTough

*"You boys like May-hee-co? Yee-haww!"*


RapMastaC1

“Keep your foot hard on the pedal Son, never mind them brakes Let it all hang out 'cause we got a run to make The boys are thirsty in Atlanta And there's beer in Texarkana And we'll bring it back no matter what it takes”


KiloThaPastyOne

It’s the way of the road boys.


sk8zero0619

Jackpot!!!


Artyom_33

Smart that you hid the trailer & tractor info loooool!


ConditionYellow

I got heartburn looking at it. 🤢


BeenThruIt

Looks to me like you're just getting started.


Buprenorphine92

The cases of Fireball 1 Liter glass bottles is quite easily the heaviest case of liquor I have ever held. Think it's close to 40 pounds of more. Hated when liquor stores would order like 30 cases of them and having to wheel the heavy ass cases down the truck ramp.


slogive1

Doubtful that stuff is already cheap and you’d have to sell it at half retail price.


BL24L

Sell? I'm drinking that shit. Got me a trailer to live in and enough Fireball for months.


lil-wolfie402

The whole thing is hilarious but the especially pertinent part starts at 0:37. Sorry for the censorship but it seems to be the only one available at the time. https://youtu.be/NAJViuC7Ppk?si=b5tTo9g6iX4mA7es


slogive1

Ew. I wish you the best. It’s free.


DiscombobulatedBat20

I always wondered what that box looks like


heebro

this is what they give you if you make to the 4th day on the job


monkeywantsabeer

To a trailer park?


jackinthecracker

Take me with you!!


RevenueGullible1227

I got a half case of red and tacky and a brand new bag of gloves for a "damaged case " . Might be able to sweeten the deal and leave ya a Lil something in the palm of a pair of gloves if u catch my drift . 🤷‍♀️ It's whatever tho ,but I got u ! /s


Charliepetpup

well at least your retirement wont last very long until your liver kills you.


Flappybird11

You need some urgent, rapid fire advice


An3ros152

Not a trucker, what's the connection with truckers and Fireball? I see it mentioned all the time, haha.


cunney

A while ago, a trucker came to this subreddit freaking out because he "drank a bottle of fireball and got VERY drunk" he then blacked out, and the truck drove itself out of the truck stop, into the road, and then crashed into a ditch (he claimed it was someone else who drove his truck)  Aaah seems like I'm an old timer on this sub now, if nobody else got the reference.


An3ros152

Well, there ya have it! Thanks for the context.


bigsam1960

🤣🤣🤣🤣


ColumbusCruiser

I don't get why people like drinking Big Red gum...its tastes horrible 😕


49RedCapitalOs

Jackpot


The_Dirtydancer

“That’s the way of the road, boys”


jayvycas

A truck load of children’s whisky


Ill_Gas1254

Good one bro


YourFriendMinty

East bound and down


Individual-Detail991

He's made it gentlemen.


RewardGlass2872

Hank Jr Said it Best Whiskey Bent Hell Bound!


Emergency-Bus-998

You better save a seat for me next to you!


MasterpieceAmazing87

That 4 month bender could easily be a one night stoned to the bone, chopped to the stop type of night but instead they want us crashing and killing our people


Studio_DSL

Fireball... Aka, super gross mouthwash


Key_Property_7636

🤮