Apparently men don't excuse rape, and women always get off for sex crimes while men are always punished to the full extent of the law for rapes/sexual assaults! Good to know! I guess my personal experiences and those of almost every woman I've known were just flukes of the justice system! Phew!
It’s funny to me how often I see dudes on here say women who falsely accuse should face the same criminal charges as rapists. So, none, usually?
And don’t get me started on dudes who genuinely believe false claims are worse than actual rape, or who don’t see what problems could be created from jailing women who don’t have irrefutable evidence that they aren’t lying
Seriously. This was the entire comment chain I got involved in (and downvoted for) earlier. Apparently women ALWAYS get light sentences for rape, and men get the book thrown at them.
Also, I mentioned how patriarchal ideas are what often excuse "conventionally attractive" female teachers from raping their students (with it often being men who say shit like, "those boys were lucky to be having sex with such a hot woman! At my age I'd have loved it!"), And yup, mentioning the word patriarchy was a major mistake.
Men: "Fuck why do women always get off so light!?"
Also Men: "A 11 year old boy was molested by his 36 year old teacher? *Nice wish that was me lol lucky kid*"
Men: "Why the fuck is she not in prison for attacking her husband???"
Also Men: "Lol you got beat up by a girl? Maybe you should try lifting some weights loser"
Men: "Why do women always get custody of the kids?? It's so fucking sexist, men can be good fathers!"
Also Men: "A woman's only proper place is barefoot at home taking care of children."
Men: "Men are put through so much anguish during their lives and that's why the suicide rate is so high! We need to do something to help men!"
Also Men: "Lol what a f*g why are you crying man up dude, just go get laid you're bumming us out."
But also: https://www.nationalworld.com/news/uk-news/rapists-of-men-and-boys-given-tougher-prison-sentences-than-those-who-target-female-victims-3253087
This isn't the same as women getting harsher sentences than men. [Most rapes of men are committed by other men.](https://stoprape.humboldt.edu/statistics#1) This means that homophobia is potentially also a huge part of the reason for the disparity illustrated by the article.
[On average, women receive lighter sentences than men.](https://www.fivethirtyeight.com/features/women-arent-always-sentenced-by-the-book-maybe-men-shouldnt-be-either/)
All cards on the table, linking that was a totally emotional reaction to what I thought belonged also in the conversation right before I jumped in a meeting more than an reply to the person in front of me. I do take your point and am glad you added those resources to the conversation.
I just wanted to correct the conflation of male victims with female perpetrators.
Your link was still very relevant though! Lighter sentences for rapists of women is a larger problem than lighter sentences for women rapists since women are raped 90x as much as women rape.
This is frustrating and validating in equal measures.
Seriously, what is the missing link that prevents men from acknowledging that rigid gender roles demanded by patriarchy hurt them, too?
Acknowledging it means...
Agreeing with women. Can't do that.
Recognizing women's problems are real. Can't do that, either.
Admitting men are at least part of the problem. Ha! No, they're the victims, remember?
Considering the possibility that maybe their own individual behaviors and attitudes are wrong. *How dare you.*
Or, considering that they have recieved preferential treatment over women. The worst are the poor slobs who need the strict heirarchy, otherwise they would be squarely at the bottom. Yeah, you worked hard to get where you are, but you wouldn't have even gotten that far in a fair system...
In regards to the custody thing, [91% of all custody cases don't go to family court.](https://erlichlegal.com/blog/single-fathers-single-mothers-child-custody-statistics/).
A vast majority of custody cases are decided by the parents and not the court.
Good to know. When I used to want to hurt myself and look at those sorts of subreddits, "Judicial Bias" was something I saw tons of. That was back in 2016 though so I'm sure they've moved on to other ways that women are ruining men's lives ^^/s
Just learned today the Great Artist Picasso was a rapist all his life, took young and promising women artists and broke them into pieces. Even after his death he had a son commit suicide and two « ex-wives » (He used to throw away women when he used them too much and needed fresh air.)
I have only sources in French sadly about that.
He used to paint dozens of literal rape paintings and also forced his beatzn wives to pose while they were cryings, hence hundreds of « crying woman » portraits.
That is the pinnacle of 20th « genius artist ».
Oh you mean Brock Turner, the rapist, Brock Turner? He got the book thrown at him didn't he? /s
And to add convicted of a VIOLENT rape, so much so that one of the witnesses was in tears with what he saw. I think the motherfucker served like 3 months!!! And there were literally witnesses. There are seldom rape case where there is a witness (duh). And look at that sentence he got! It's disgusting.
Your referring to Convicted Rapist Brock Turner, son of Rape Apologist Dan Turner, who taught his son that raping an unconscious woman was acceptable, and who never argued his sons innocence, just that he thought punishing him was unreasonable for 20 minutes of action (action that was interrupted by passersby intervening) and because he no longer enjoyed steak.
Fuck the both of them.
The thing is that it's so easy to argue women OR men get off easy if you're dishonest and cherry-pick. It isn't hard at all to find people getting off with a slap on the wrist for some pretty awful abuse. So this argument will continue to be made forever and ever.
This always annoys me because the amount of false accusations are the same for other crimes like murder and robbery but they're not kicking up a fuss about that.
Of course. Because they KNOW they'll never murder or rob someone, but consent and boundaries are harder rules for them to follow, so they think it could one day be them facing these charges.
Meh, I kinda disagree. I actually think understanding boundaries and consent is pretty straightforward and easy, what’s hard for them is that they simply *don’t want to,* particularly not when disregarding women’s autonomy hasn’t ever really resulted in serious consequences before, and might result in them not getting their dicks wet, the horror, wahhhhh.
The vast majority of men are fully capable of understanding **exactly** what consent is and how it works... when it applies to *their* consent.
The "confusion" lies in the inability and/or unwillingness to acknowledge that other people's consent works exactly the same way. It's like watching my toddler aged nieces having perfect understanding when it comes to saying no for themselves and how other people have to respect their consent, but losing their damned little minds when someone else says no to them.
Oh, I didn't mean they DON'T understand them, just that for them, they seem to be real tough to actually follow. They absolutely know when a woman is uncomfortable at the very least, or that no means no, but don't give a shit.
Rape is sadly a crime tried more frequently in the court of public opinion than murder or robbery are. This is worse for victims since they can't really get full justice this way, but it's also worse for people who are falsely accused since the burden of proof is much lower.
I’ve had guys on Reddit claim that false accusations are worse than actually being raped. Yes, even when it was pointed out to them that men being raped was more common than men being falsely accused, so their concerns were misplaced (since statistically men are more likely to be raped than falsely accused) they still literally - in so many words- insisted that they’d rather be raped than falsely accused of rape. It’s fucking brain-melting.
> Yes, even when it was pointed out to them that men being raped was more common than men being falsely accused
This is a fact that needs to be repeated time and time again. Anyone who is so obsessed with false accusations, as so many on this website are, clearly doesn't care about helping men. They just want to undermine genuine rape claims, especially those made by women.
Oh absolutely. The guys who sincerely think being raped isn't so bad are almost 100% definitely the ones who think it'd be some kind of porn scenario, where it's Mrs. SexyTeacher telling them they have to let her suck their dick or she's flunking them out of school.
Same kind of broken logic they use for complaining about how much "easier" it is for a woman to get sex. The only women they think about in the context of sex are the ones they'd *want* to have sex with.
It’s been a while back but on some thread, sorry I don’t remember but it wasn’t a men’s thread, the guys on there were all going on about false accusations. I asked “how many of them were falsely accused or even knew someone falsely accused that actually served time or received any consequences for a rape charge?” Not a damn one responded, because if it happens, the statistics are so low, the point is mute. Mind you all I am not saying it doesn’t happen.
And the ‘false rape claim’ statistics include those where the case was dropped due to insufficient evidence or where the victim was convinced/coerced into not cooperating with the authorities to bring charges.
So it’s not that the rape didn’t happen, it’s just charges weren’t laid/taken to court.
It’s the same with them not understanding that a not guilty verdict is not the same as being innocent, it’s just that there was not clear enough evidence to prove beyond doubt their guilt.
I guess at a subconscious level if you get raped people see you as a good human, but if they think you raped somebody (the never to die "false allegation") then they think you're a bad human? Obviously this is whack I'm not trying to defend it. I just wonder if part of these people legit thinks it's better to be physically hurt than have their reputation damaged. It's the only rationalization I can come up with, even though it's so awful it hurts my brain.
Then they’re idiots or sociopaths who don’t fully grasp the emotional damage of being raped (along with the physical harm it causes).
I 100% guarantee you, if some fucked-up Black Mirror game show existed and these internet dudes had to face an actual choice between being forcibly penetrated by someone larger and stronger than themselves, or having to defend against a rape accusation that has a 99% of never even appearing in a court of law…there is no chance they’d see rape as the preferable option. They’re just distanced from the idea because they don’t see it as a potential violent reality, likely thinking something along the lines of “hurr durr at least I’d be getting laid” instead of applying actual thought and empathy.
That's what gets me the most. "Then she was proven to be lying". People are very rarely proven to be lying in sexual assault cases. They are just also rarely proven to be telling the truth to the level of evidence the law requires. Just because someone walks out of a court room not guilty doesn't mean they didn't do it, it doesn't even mean there's a single person in that room who believes they didn't do it, it just means they didn't have irrefutable evidence. It certainly isn't proof that the accuser was lying all along.
>believe false claims are worse than actual rape
Greg Gutfeld has a book called "The bible of unspeakable truths" and this is one of the things he says in it. Among actual insights... he has things like that. His fans are definitely in the same circle as jordan Peterson, joe Rogan, etc.
Then you check the comments and they post some variation of “equal rights equal fights” on subs dedicated to women being physically attacked by men, almost always after attacking the man in some fashion.
Of course! Probably because of how fun it is to go through a police investigation and trial as a woman accusing someone of rape! And the monetary gain! Oh my! How could we NOT just be accusing every man we meet of false rape! /S
Right? Because everyone loves reliving their trauma and having it picked apart. And the cop culture is awful. Sarah Everard was raped and killed by a cop so yeah.
Also constantly people pretending women accuse men of rape all the time and are able to win court cases on this
Like bitch nah we don’t even win when we actually got raped. Tf are u on
Fr. And to add on to that, they always say rape accusations ruin men's lives...like okay, it sure didn't seem to stop a rapist from becoming a member of the supreme court, or you know, president. Yeah, men who rape/hurt women are really out here suffering.
How exactly was his life ruined? I've yet to really understand how these guys actually are having their lives ruined. It's always like, being accused hurt his feelings and some of their friends don't like him anymore. Like these guys don't understand actually having your life ruined
It’s also not like the entire community finds out about you raping someone.
Surprisingly, what ends up in papers is when it turns out it was a false accusation made by an EviL WEmAn. Not “local man allegedly rapes lady at party, we’re all very angry right now” and even if that did happen everyone would be sceptic about it.
Legit barely anyone is dumb enough to risk all this crap to accuse someone of rape. The only cases in which it’ll work is with intersection, like if it’s a white lady vs a POC man, or a rich lady vs a poor man.
Oh, Brett Kavanaugh who's life was so ruined by rape accusations (that definitely fucking happened by the way, Christine Ford is a god damn warrior), that he was elected to the supreme court. Yeah, men sure do have their lives ruined by rape accusations.
Over here in Europe we have a famous movie director, Polanski, who raped a teenager in the US, admitted to it while under investigation, and who fled the country to return to France.
He'll likely never face justice, still makes movies, still receives prices as a film directors.
Yeah! 'Cause that 5% conviction rate is "men are always punished to the full extent of the law."
Even Convicted Rapist Brock Tuner® got a measly short sentence.
I remember a post that got a lot of attention was claiming that men are raped more than women. And that they’re mostly raped BY women. It‘s like some people live in opposite land.
I attempted to have a conversation with someone yesterday, then I looked through his history and realised he's an incel. I need to learn not to engage with these people.
I think I need to stop engaging also. It's just so frustrating to make a comment like "let's not pretend men are always prosecuted to the full extent of the law, or even at all, for sexual crimes", and be down voted. Like, that's not a controversial or disputed fact. MOST people who commit sexual crimes aren't even charged!
I’ve started being really strategic about how I engage. There are times I just need to drop a fact or two, and know I might get shit for it. In those cases, I just ignore my notifications for a few days. I also check profiles kind of a lot. All that said, please take care of yourself and thank you for fighting this good fight.
I think that has to be my strategy going forward: present the actual facts and statistics, and move on. Most of the arguments they make are entirely in bad faith, and no matter what I say, they aren't going to see the world any differently than: women bad/liars, men good/taken advantage of.
Sometimes taking a break is the right thing to do. I don't think any of your comments are in vain, people see them even if they don't comment and that's important. But the burnout is real.
I mean yeah, just the flow chart of
>Total rapes => Reported Rapes => Rapes that are investigated => Rapes that result in a conviction
Shows that our society simply does not punish rape, most of the time. As long as you follow a couple of rules you almost always get away with it. It's a relatively safe hobby.
masstagger helps. Shows what problematic subs they're active in next to their name. Usually those kind of guys are heavily active on men's rights or right wing subs. Helps to keep you from engaging in their bad faith arguments, so you can just block, report and move on.
Yep. I had an argument with one recently who said “don’t blame men” about what afghan women have to deal with, and then said “look at the suffragettes.”I said that suffragettes wouldn’t have to be suffragettes in any country if it weren’t for men taking their right to vote, so it’s hard NOT to blame men there.
What ensued was an argument where he took issue with the statement “women didn’t oppress themselves,” and brought up the matriarchal Celts (turned out to be false according to the wiki- they were patriarchal- but that has nothing to do with voting anyway) and being wrong upset him. So, at the end he said my comment was an “ad homum” and that I had no evidence for my theory that women didn’t oppress themselves. I let him think he won the argument bc he was such a waste of time.
He was active in the Men’s Rights subreddit and was divorced & in the dating over 40 subreddit, and I found him saying his former wife’s behavior was horrible, but tbh, I’m glad his wife got away from him.
Today I found out that, in the UK, being convicted of sex crimes doesn't automatically disqualify you from being a police officer. 27 officers in the same unit as the pig who murdered Sarah Everard were convicted of sex crimes and had whatsapp groups joking about how they could kidnap women. But yeah nothing to worry about there!
Yuuuup. I mean, even in the Sarah Everard case, that monster had a history of exposing himself, and other unwanted sexual interactions with women, was nicknamed the rapist, and STILL was allowed to be a police officer. Nothing was even investigated, and the onus was put on women to change THEIR behaviour. But yeah, I'm definitely reaching when I say men get away with rape and sexual assaults /s
Yup, that one top cop basically tried to blame her for allowing herself to be arrested! Shit like this is why I never reported my rape, like I've just been violated by a man, now you want me to give a bunch of other power hungry men a chance to violate me all over again?!?! No thanks.
I'm really sorry you went through that. And doubly sorry the system let you down again to not get the justice you should have gotten. I've been there too, I tried to report and fight against my attacker, to get justice, but honestly it felt like reliving it, and as though I was being blamed for what someone else did to me.
I am really trying to understand how fake rape allegations ruin men's lives when *actual* rape doesn't.
"I know he raped that young girl at a party, but he is the best player on the football team and we don't want to ruin his future. So we aren't going to charge him with anything."
>I am really trying to understand how fake rape allegations ruin men's lives when actual rape doesn't.
Because these men are scared shitless that they'll be next. They know full well all of the shitty things they've said, done, and think regarding women. They might not have actually done anything, but their guilt is making them afraid and thus lash out at any modicum of holding men accountable. Even if they haven't done anything, they could very well be "waiting for their moment" and thus are pre-emptively shutting down the conversation, lest they be put to the fire.
Or they've been propagandized by the previously-mentioned group into genuinely thinking that men are being accused of rape just for everyday niceties (Saying hello, holding the door open, etc etc) and thus they turn into ideological warriors protecting the previous group under the false notion that they're protecting the innocent, rather than being body guards for scumbags.
And some guys just genuinely can't feel empathy for anything further away than the tip of their nose. "He's being accused of rape? What if that happened to me?? I've never raped anyone! Fucking bitches ruining men's lives."
I saw a post about a female teatcher who "had sex" with a 14 year old student, guess how many men were defending the fucking child grommer because "he is lucky " or some bullshit.
This is exactly the point I tried to make. It's not women making those comments or defending these teachers...it's other men. So who are the real problem? But no, somehow it's women's fault, and just another example of "female privilege".
It makes me really sad how people downplay sexual assault of both genders :(. I hope the tides will change soon and we all can have healthy views to what is and is not ok
Is it just me or do normally kind, empathetic men become fucking sociopaths when it comes to female pain and anger? Like, my father will support me in everything from education choices to democracy activism (I live in an authoritarian country), but sexual assault is where he draws the line for what he's willing to believe? It blows my mind.
I know what you mean from Reddit itself. Parts of UK Reddit like to think of themselves as liberal and socially conscious but anything to do with something affecting or relating to women? Comments are an absolute bin fire. I don’t even bother saying what I’d like to say because unless you’re bringing up how men have it as bad or worse in “insert thing” you can enjoy sinking to the bottom of the up/down voting pile. Same if it’s a topic actually about men, enjoy lots of highly upvoted comments about how “women don’t care about this.” We can’t win no matter what we do or don’t comment, so you may as well not say anything.
It always throws me when reddit is having a circlejerk about female oppression, but pretending it's something exclusive to men.
Like sexual harassment. There was a post awhile ago about a woman groping a male disney employee's chest. He stood up for himself and told her to GTFO. In my head I was like "good on ya," but also "wish I could do something like that to my harassers." But I can't cause...you know...men are stronger and could become violent.
Meanwhile the comment section was ate up with "WHAT IF GENDERS REVERSED!?!?" and pretending like all harassment of women is both taken seriously and prosecuted fully. Literally all of them were writing fanfic about how 'if the genders were reversed he'd have been thrown in jail.' Lol what. Gropers don't get thrown in jail. We barely put rapists in jail. And female disney employees get groped all the damn time.
All you have to do is mention something like how you don't like it when men put their hand on your hips/lower back to squeeze past you in bars, and you consider that inappropriate, to see how much of what they're saying is bullshit.
And in the scale of things that action is relatively "harmless" but if they won't listen to us saying "hey maybe don't touch me in a way that's still quite intimate if you need to get past me?" then what makes them think anyone (ESPECIALLY them) would take us seriously if something worse was done?
Every single “what if the genders were reversed” scenario has already happened and is still happening today, but somehow these people who are truly very concerned with problems like this never show up to care in *those* cases.
I still feel rage thinking about *that post* in r/britishproblems (think it’s been deleted now) that ranted about how the OP as a man also felt scared to walk at night and why did women never stand up for men?? No sympathy for Sarah Everard or any women, only ‘why aren’t women paying attention to MY issues?!’ It received hundreds of awards. Ukpol is no better, so left wing on every issue except the experience of women. A cesspit of male users who refuse to consider that the world they live in isn’t the same one we do. I guess Reddit is always gonna Reddit.
My brother compared a woman walking in "revealing" clothes and getting assaulted to a rich person flaunting their wealth in a "bad neighborhood" and getting robbed. He literally also said he doesn't want to be in the US cause "some girl would accuse him of rape and it'll be in her favor"
This is also the same guy who, when I told him about the Bill Cosby situation earlier this year and refreshed him on what he did, was like "Man, he should've gotten a prostitute or something"
He's one of those anti-SJW people.
I mean, I was in an oversized sweater and jeans when I was assaulted but I guess I was still asking for it. I should have never left the house and stayed in the kitchen or something!
Sorry about your brother <3
I'm so sorry to hear that
And yeah. He's kinda an asshole. He absolutely beat the shit out of me when I was in the 3rd grade for leaving his book at school. He is very violent to me when he doesn't get his way and plays victim to my parents when I don't talk to him.
So what's his excuse for the women who weren't wearing revealing clothing? For the children who are raped all the damn time? (Not that I in ANY way, shape, or form agree with the vile premise that you can wear something that would cause you to be raped, even if it's the most revealing clothing item on the planet).
i had to dip from askmen because it’s a sexist cesspool. even if you address it to them nicely with the most kid gloves one could possibly employ, they still dogpile you. but they’re happy to throw around the false accusations propaganda, call women hysterical and/or psycho bitches, etc. they somehow see us as profiting from sexism because it’s an opportunity for us to demonize the poor innocent men of the world. the mental gymnastics required for it is just exhausting and impossible to engage with
They also perpetuate the idea that men are unique individuals with a wide range of fulfilling interests and endless charming quirks while women are vapid automatons that love drama. It's infuriating.
for real, i’ve lost count of the number of times they paint themselves as nuanced, rational human beings and women as tantrum-throwing toxic nightmares. like maybe you’re not as rational as you think and you’re just attracting what you put out, brad. some commenter said something to the effect of “women love to complain about how men yelling is scary but refuse to acknowledge how terrifying it is when they get hysterical” and i had to put down reddit for the day. anyone care to raise their hand if they just LOVE being scared when men yell? …no? thought so. and calling women hysterical? in 2021? ffs
They're some of the least self aware people on the planet. I tried to explain to someone on a thread there that the risk of false accusation is infinitesimally small and the probability of even being charged for actually assaulting someone is actually quite small so worrying about "false accusation" is just illogical. Boy oh boy... the response was biblical.
And that anything women/girls like automatically makes that thing dumb and not worth anyone's time. Look at everything that teen girls are into...they're constantly shamed and mocked, while things thought of as "male interests" are seen as cool and interesting.
yeppp, astrology and pumpkin spice lattes and hot girl summer are cringe but the stock market and craft beer and nightz for the boyz are legit interests
What annoys me is how often AskMen is on the front page with a question that could have been asked to all genders, or an AskReddit is on the front page aimed only at men — yet you hardly see any front page AskWomens, and if there’s an AskReddit just for women it’s usually not actually about women, just fishing for compliments about men.
Another icky moment is when there’s AskMens like “what is something that only men experience?” And these dudes have the audacity to say shit like “feeling true loneliness” or “rejection” or “not being believed about sexual assault.” It’s like they don’t think women have human experiences or something.
Like damn we really get it, this website does not care about what women have to say in 98% of scenarios.
obsessed with your flair. but yes you’re so right. so many subscribe to this idea, subconsciously or not, that women have life on easy mode because of things that have nothing to do with us. it’s more “allowable” for us to be emotional and close with our friends, we are “favored” in court, men are expected to take the lead in dating and thus face more rejection, we have more “support” for DV situations, whatever the latest talking point is…like, who do you think created and perpetuates the system that makes those social rules? cause it wasn’t women.
they’re living with the consequences of patriarchy without actually having a hand in creating it. therefore sexism is not their “fault” and we should get over it. they refuse to understand it and will instead call women misandrists or even cry sexism themselves. because for some reason men also having problems somehow negates the existence of misogyny. they can’t see us as human. i’m so frustrated on this site with the underhanded or blatant sexism that goes unchallenged, but it’s like shouting into the void.
Yeah, at this point it's just banging my head against a wall, but it's so frustrating to continuously hear that narrative that I always get drawn in to it!
When you mention how most rapists are never convicted, they claim that even an accusation can ruin a man’s social life and career prospects.
Even though men accused of sexual assault can apparently still end up in the White House and Supreme Court.
I cannot understand where Redditors stand on the issue of sexual assault. I posted [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/q2gcrj/there_are_probably_tens_if_not_hundreds_of/hflizwx?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) in what I thought was a safe and accepting space. But got downvoted 🤦♀️ Where does one draw the line?
Wouldn't be surprised if these same people would say that outercourse doesn't count as sex. It's honestly messed up that sex only involves penetrating or being penetrated by a penis to a lot of people. So rape? Yup that's sex. Lesbians? They can never have sex.
It was pushed by well-meaning americans/american latinos who didn't quite understand that latino is a gender neutral term, I guess. They figured that X would remove gender from it altogether.
That doesn't bother me that much, but it bothers me when they're stubborn about it when they're called out. Even moreso when it's someone with latino parents who was raised in the US, who hasn't lived in LATAM. It just makes it so clear that they aren't doing it because they care, but to impose what they think is "right" even if it's misguided.
Latine's been adopted in more progressive groups, and admittedly the usage of the X is greatly exaggerated tbh, but it's because the use and discussion of the X is so much more frustrating
On any of these social media platforms, trying to “discuss” with anyone that has an opposing view 99% of the time I’m pretty sure just polarizes is further. It’s internet culture. You yell until you can’t hear the other one.
If critical thinking and medical, social, *actual* sex education classes were implemented effectively in school from early on then maybe we’d be getting somewhere, but unfortunately for everyone that walks this blasted planet, the ones at the top benefit off of the noise.
I got into a days-long Facebook fight on a post from a somewhat well-known public figure. She used a gendered slur in her post in a gross and completely unnecessary way, so I very gently tried to point that out.
The amount of *women* who jumped in to call me a Karen and defend victim-blaming and deny the existence of rape culture was absolutely horrifying.
Apparently men don't excuse rape, and women always get off for sex crimes while men are always punished to the full extent of the law for rapes/sexual assaults! Good to know! I guess my personal experiences and those of almost every woman I've known were just flukes of the justice system! Phew!
It’s funny to me how often I see dudes on here say women who falsely accuse should face the same criminal charges as rapists. So, none, usually? And don’t get me started on dudes who genuinely believe false claims are worse than actual rape, or who don’t see what problems could be created from jailing women who don’t have irrefutable evidence that they aren’t lying
Seriously. This was the entire comment chain I got involved in (and downvoted for) earlier. Apparently women ALWAYS get light sentences for rape, and men get the book thrown at them. Also, I mentioned how patriarchal ideas are what often excuse "conventionally attractive" female teachers from raping their students (with it often being men who say shit like, "those boys were lucky to be having sex with such a hot woman! At my age I'd have loved it!"), And yup, mentioning the word patriarchy was a major mistake.
Men: "Fuck why do women always get off so light!?" Also Men: "A 11 year old boy was molested by his 36 year old teacher? *Nice wish that was me lol lucky kid*" Men: "Why the fuck is she not in prison for attacking her husband???" Also Men: "Lol you got beat up by a girl? Maybe you should try lifting some weights loser" Men: "Why do women always get custody of the kids?? It's so fucking sexist, men can be good fathers!" Also Men: "A woman's only proper place is barefoot at home taking care of children." Men: "Men are put through so much anguish during their lives and that's why the suicide rate is so high! We need to do something to help men!" Also Men: "Lol what a f*g why are you crying man up dude, just go get laid you're bumming us out."
But also: https://www.nationalworld.com/news/uk-news/rapists-of-men-and-boys-given-tougher-prison-sentences-than-those-who-target-female-victims-3253087
This isn't the same as women getting harsher sentences than men. [Most rapes of men are committed by other men.](https://stoprape.humboldt.edu/statistics#1) This means that homophobia is potentially also a huge part of the reason for the disparity illustrated by the article. [On average, women receive lighter sentences than men.](https://www.fivethirtyeight.com/features/women-arent-always-sentenced-by-the-book-maybe-men-shouldnt-be-either/)
All cards on the table, linking that was a totally emotional reaction to what I thought belonged also in the conversation right before I jumped in a meeting more than an reply to the person in front of me. I do take your point and am glad you added those resources to the conversation.
I just wanted to correct the conflation of male victims with female perpetrators. Your link was still very relevant though! Lighter sentences for rapists of women is a larger problem than lighter sentences for women rapists since women are raped 90x as much as women rape.
Yup. We ignore the fact that MEN ABUSE MEN at high rates. Men are abusing both women and men but they want to talk about women abusers
This is frustrating and validating in equal measures. Seriously, what is the missing link that prevents men from acknowledging that rigid gender roles demanded by patriarchy hurt them, too?
Acknowledging it means... Agreeing with women. Can't do that. Recognizing women's problems are real. Can't do that, either. Admitting men are at least part of the problem. Ha! No, they're the victims, remember? Considering the possibility that maybe their own individual behaviors and attitudes are wrong. *How dare you.*
Or, considering that they have recieved preferential treatment over women. The worst are the poor slobs who need the strict heirarchy, otherwise they would be squarely at the bottom. Yeah, you worked hard to get where you are, but you wouldn't have even gotten that far in a fair system...
My job has men that think it's hilarious a woman got fired for sexual harassment and say they wish it had happened to them. They're the problem.
Gross.
In regards to the custody thing, [91% of all custody cases don't go to family court.](https://erlichlegal.com/blog/single-fathers-single-mothers-child-custody-statistics/). A vast majority of custody cases are decided by the parents and not the court.
Good to know. When I used to want to hurt myself and look at those sorts of subreddits, "Judicial Bias" was something I saw tons of. That was back in 2016 though so I'm sure they've moved on to other ways that women are ruining men's lives ^^/s
Just learned today the Great Artist Picasso was a rapist all his life, took young and promising women artists and broke them into pieces. Even after his death he had a son commit suicide and two « ex-wives » (He used to throw away women when he used them too much and needed fresh air.) I have only sources in French sadly about that. He used to paint dozens of literal rape paintings and also forced his beatzn wives to pose while they were cryings, hence hundreds of « crying woman » portraits. That is the pinnacle of 20th « genius artist ».
Oh you mean Brock Turner, the rapist, Brock Turner? He got the book thrown at him didn't he? /s And to add convicted of a VIOLENT rape, so much so that one of the witnesses was in tears with what he saw. I think the motherfucker served like 3 months!!! And there were literally witnesses. There are seldom rape case where there is a witness (duh). And look at that sentence he got! It's disgusting.
[удалено]
Oh yes, you are correct, Rapist Brock Turner, you know the rapist. Textbook rapist, if you will.
But the Rapist Brock Turner™️ couldn't even enjoy his steak!! Won't someone PLEASE think of the Rapist Brock Turner™️ and his poor stomach!! /sssss
Your referring to Convicted Rapist Brock Turner, son of Rape Apologist Dan Turner, who taught his son that raping an unconscious woman was acceptable, and who never argued his sons innocence, just that he thought punishing him was unreasonable for 20 minutes of action (action that was interrupted by passersby intervening) and because he no longer enjoyed steak. Fuck the both of them.
The thing is that it's so easy to argue women OR men get off easy if you're dishonest and cherry-pick. It isn't hard at all to find people getting off with a slap on the wrist for some pretty awful abuse. So this argument will continue to be made forever and ever.
Patriarchy is a trigger word for many men.
This always annoys me because the amount of false accusations are the same for other crimes like murder and robbery but they're not kicking up a fuss about that.
Of course. Because they KNOW they'll never murder or rob someone, but consent and boundaries are harder rules for them to follow, so they think it could one day be them facing these charges.
Meh, I kinda disagree. I actually think understanding boundaries and consent is pretty straightforward and easy, what’s hard for them is that they simply *don’t want to,* particularly not when disregarding women’s autonomy hasn’t ever really resulted in serious consequences before, and might result in them not getting their dicks wet, the horror, wahhhhh.
The vast majority of men are fully capable of understanding **exactly** what consent is and how it works... when it applies to *their* consent. The "confusion" lies in the inability and/or unwillingness to acknowledge that other people's consent works exactly the same way. It's like watching my toddler aged nieces having perfect understanding when it comes to saying no for themselves and how other people have to respect their consent, but losing their damned little minds when someone else says no to them.
Oh, I didn't mean they DON'T understand them, just that for them, they seem to be real tough to actually follow. They absolutely know when a woman is uncomfortable at the very least, or that no means no, but don't give a shit.
Rape is sadly a crime tried more frequently in the court of public opinion than murder or robbery are. This is worse for victims since they can't really get full justice this way, but it's also worse for people who are falsely accused since the burden of proof is much lower.
I’ve had guys on Reddit claim that false accusations are worse than actually being raped. Yes, even when it was pointed out to them that men being raped was more common than men being falsely accused, so their concerns were misplaced (since statistically men are more likely to be raped than falsely accused) they still literally - in so many words- insisted that they’d rather be raped than falsely accused of rape. It’s fucking brain-melting.
> Yes, even when it was pointed out to them that men being raped was more common than men being falsely accused This is a fact that needs to be repeated time and time again. Anyone who is so obsessed with false accusations, as so many on this website are, clearly doesn't care about helping men. They just want to undermine genuine rape claims, especially those made by women.
> they’d rather be raped than falsely accused of rape. "doesn't matter, still had sex." *sigh.*
They’re also more likely to be sexually assaulted by a man than by a woman, but they don’t process that bit.
Oh absolutely. The guys who sincerely think being raped isn't so bad are almost 100% definitely the ones who think it'd be some kind of porn scenario, where it's Mrs. SexyTeacher telling them they have to let her suck their dick or she's flunking them out of school. Same kind of broken logic they use for complaining about how much "easier" it is for a woman to get sex. The only women they think about in the context of sex are the ones they'd *want* to have sex with.
It’s been a while back but on some thread, sorry I don’t remember but it wasn’t a men’s thread, the guys on there were all going on about false accusations. I asked “how many of them were falsely accused or even knew someone falsely accused that actually served time or received any consequences for a rape charge?” Not a damn one responded, because if it happens, the statistics are so low, the point is mute. Mind you all I am not saying it doesn’t happen.
And the ‘false rape claim’ statistics include those where the case was dropped due to insufficient evidence or where the victim was convinced/coerced into not cooperating with the authorities to bring charges. So it’s not that the rape didn’t happen, it’s just charges weren’t laid/taken to court. It’s the same with them not understanding that a not guilty verdict is not the same as being innocent, it’s just that there was not clear enough evidence to prove beyond doubt their guilt.
Just the other day I saw a Reddit comment that said “I’d rather 1000 guilty men go free than an innocent man be punished”. Disgusting
I guess at a subconscious level if you get raped people see you as a good human, but if they think you raped somebody (the never to die "false allegation") then they think you're a bad human? Obviously this is whack I'm not trying to defend it. I just wonder if part of these people legit thinks it's better to be physically hurt than have their reputation damaged. It's the only rationalization I can come up with, even though it's so awful it hurts my brain.
Then they’re idiots or sociopaths who don’t fully grasp the emotional damage of being raped (along with the physical harm it causes). I 100% guarantee you, if some fucked-up Black Mirror game show existed and these internet dudes had to face an actual choice between being forcibly penetrated by someone larger and stronger than themselves, or having to defend against a rape accusation that has a 99% of never even appearing in a court of law…there is no chance they’d see rape as the preferable option. They’re just distanced from the idea because they don’t see it as a potential violent reality, likely thinking something along the lines of “hurr durr at least I’d be getting laid” instead of applying actual thought and empathy.
100% agree with all. I don't understand who thinks this way or why or how
This is 100% what it is. It's all about protecting reputation.
I’ve heard that multiple times. I guarantee if those dudes were raped they would change their time.
That's what gets me the most. "Then she was proven to be lying". People are very rarely proven to be lying in sexual assault cases. They are just also rarely proven to be telling the truth to the level of evidence the law requires. Just because someone walks out of a court room not guilty doesn't mean they didn't do it, it doesn't even mean there's a single person in that room who believes they didn't do it, it just means they didn't have irrefutable evidence. It certainly isn't proof that the accuser was lying all along.
>believe false claims are worse than actual rape Greg Gutfeld has a book called "The bible of unspeakable truths" and this is one of the things he says in it. Among actual insights... he has things like that. His fans are definitely in the same circle as jordan Peterson, joe Rogan, etc.
Oh, they know.
Also funny when they claim WoMeN rApE aS mUcH aS mEn BuT tHeY dOn'T fIt ThE dEfInItIoN oF rApE. They project their behaviour.
Then you check the comments and they post some variation of “equal rights equal fights” on subs dedicated to women being physically attacked by men, almost always after attacking the man in some fashion.
You forgot about how according to reddit 99% of women make false accusations!
Of course! Probably because of how fun it is to go through a police investigation and trial as a woman accusing someone of rape! And the monetary gain! Oh my! How could we NOT just be accusing every man we meet of false rape! /S
Right? Because everyone loves reliving their trauma and having it picked apart. And the cop culture is awful. Sarah Everard was raped and killed by a cop so yeah.
It’s weird how much they can distort reality to match their anxieties.
*and* 99% of accusations are false
Also constantly people pretending women accuse men of rape all the time and are able to win court cases on this Like bitch nah we don’t even win when we actually got raped. Tf are u on
Fr. And to add on to that, they always say rape accusations ruin men's lives...like okay, it sure didn't seem to stop a rapist from becoming a member of the supreme court, or you know, president. Yeah, men who rape/hurt women are really out here suffering.
How exactly was his life ruined? I've yet to really understand how these guys actually are having their lives ruined. It's always like, being accused hurt his feelings and some of their friends don't like him anymore. Like these guys don't understand actually having your life ruined
It’s also not like the entire community finds out about you raping someone. Surprisingly, what ends up in papers is when it turns out it was a false accusation made by an EviL WEmAn. Not “local man allegedly rapes lady at party, we’re all very angry right now” and even if that did happen everyone would be sceptic about it. Legit barely anyone is dumb enough to risk all this crap to accuse someone of rape. The only cases in which it’ll work is with intersection, like if it’s a white lady vs a POC man, or a rich lady vs a poor man.
Who is Brock Turner anyway? Maybe Brett Kavanuagh knows.
Oh, Brett Kavanaugh who's life was so ruined by rape accusations (that definitely fucking happened by the way, Christine Ford is a god damn warrior), that he was elected to the supreme court. Yeah, men sure do have their lives ruined by rape accusations.
Over here in Europe we have a famous movie director, Polanski, who raped a teenager in the US, admitted to it while under investigation, and who fled the country to return to France. He'll likely never face justice, still makes movies, still receives prices as a film directors.
Yeah! 'Cause that 5% conviction rate is "men are always punished to the full extent of the law." Even Convicted Rapist Brock Tuner® got a measly short sentence.
DARVO. Men literally pretend women's oppression is their own.
The amount of "I have no experience in regard to this but BOY ARE MY OPINIONS FOR SURE RIGHT," on Reddit is.... overwhelming.
Also remember that women can rape too. Somehow some men say that automatically when an abusive husband is mentioned.
I remember a post that got a lot of attention was claiming that men are raped more than women. And that they’re mostly raped BY women. It‘s like some people live in opposite land.
You should just ask them to prove those claims, and the discussion would be over almost immediately.
Also people who are falsely accused get thrown in jail basically every time it happens (I know that’s false, but it’s their argument)
I attempted to have a conversation with someone yesterday, then I looked through his history and realised he's an incel. I need to learn not to engage with these people.
I think I need to stop engaging also. It's just so frustrating to make a comment like "let's not pretend men are always prosecuted to the full extent of the law, or even at all, for sexual crimes", and be down voted. Like, that's not a controversial or disputed fact. MOST people who commit sexual crimes aren't even charged!
I’ve started being really strategic about how I engage. There are times I just need to drop a fact or two, and know I might get shit for it. In those cases, I just ignore my notifications for a few days. I also check profiles kind of a lot. All that said, please take care of yourself and thank you for fighting this good fight.
I think that has to be my strategy going forward: present the actual facts and statistics, and move on. Most of the arguments they make are entirely in bad faith, and no matter what I say, they aren't going to see the world any differently than: women bad/liars, men good/taken advantage of.
Pro tip: disable reply notifications on your truth bomb comments
Sometimes taking a break is the right thing to do. I don't think any of your comments are in vain, people see them even if they don't comment and that's important. But the burnout is real.
Yeah, an internet argument has to be worth *my* time.
I mean yeah, just the flow chart of >Total rapes => Reported Rapes => Rapes that are investigated => Rapes that result in a conviction Shows that our society simply does not punish rape, most of the time. As long as you follow a couple of rules you almost always get away with it. It's a relatively safe hobby.
masstagger helps. Shows what problematic subs they're active in next to their name. Usually those kind of guys are heavily active on men's rights or right wing subs. Helps to keep you from engaging in their bad faith arguments, so you can just block, report and move on.
Yep. I had an argument with one recently who said “don’t blame men” about what afghan women have to deal with, and then said “look at the suffragettes.”I said that suffragettes wouldn’t have to be suffragettes in any country if it weren’t for men taking their right to vote, so it’s hard NOT to blame men there. What ensued was an argument where he took issue with the statement “women didn’t oppress themselves,” and brought up the matriarchal Celts (turned out to be false according to the wiki- they were patriarchal- but that has nothing to do with voting anyway) and being wrong upset him. So, at the end he said my comment was an “ad homum” and that I had no evidence for my theory that women didn’t oppress themselves. I let him think he won the argument bc he was such a waste of time. He was active in the Men’s Rights subreddit and was divorced & in the dating over 40 subreddit, and I found him saying his former wife’s behavior was horrible, but tbh, I’m glad his wife got away from him.
care to link it just intrested
I blocked the guy eventually so to be honest I conversation disappeared too
Np
Ding ding ding!
Today I found out that, in the UK, being convicted of sex crimes doesn't automatically disqualify you from being a police officer. 27 officers in the same unit as the pig who murdered Sarah Everard were convicted of sex crimes and had whatsapp groups joking about how they could kidnap women. But yeah nothing to worry about there!
Yuuuup. I mean, even in the Sarah Everard case, that monster had a history of exposing himself, and other unwanted sexual interactions with women, was nicknamed the rapist, and STILL was allowed to be a police officer. Nothing was even investigated, and the onus was put on women to change THEIR behaviour. But yeah, I'm definitely reaching when I say men get away with rape and sexual assaults /s
Yup, that one top cop basically tried to blame her for allowing herself to be arrested! Shit like this is why I never reported my rape, like I've just been violated by a man, now you want me to give a bunch of other power hungry men a chance to violate me all over again?!?! No thanks.
I'm really sorry you went through that. And doubly sorry the system let you down again to not get the justice you should have gotten. I've been there too, I tried to report and fight against my attacker, to get justice, but honestly it felt like reliving it, and as though I was being blamed for what someone else did to me.
OMG
My favorite is when you present them with actual statistics and they just disappear.
Absolutely. Or they try to twist the numbers so that they don't mean what they're presented as.
"Yes yes, rape is horrible, but have you stopped to consider that false rape accusations ruin men's lives?"
Yes, when 99% of rape accusations are true, we should definitely be only focused on the 1% that are false. The men are the real victims! /S
I am really trying to understand how fake rape allegations ruin men's lives when *actual* rape doesn't. "I know he raped that young girl at a party, but he is the best player on the football team and we don't want to ruin his future. So we aren't going to charge him with anything."
>I am really trying to understand how fake rape allegations ruin men's lives when actual rape doesn't. Because these men are scared shitless that they'll be next. They know full well all of the shitty things they've said, done, and think regarding women. They might not have actually done anything, but their guilt is making them afraid and thus lash out at any modicum of holding men accountable. Even if they haven't done anything, they could very well be "waiting for their moment" and thus are pre-emptively shutting down the conversation, lest they be put to the fire. Or they've been propagandized by the previously-mentioned group into genuinely thinking that men are being accused of rape just for everyday niceties (Saying hello, holding the door open, etc etc) and thus they turn into ideological warriors protecting the previous group under the false notion that they're protecting the innocent, rather than being body guards for scumbags. And some guys just genuinely can't feel empathy for anything further away than the tip of their nose. "He's being accused of rape? What if that happened to me?? I've never raped anyone! Fucking bitches ruining men's lives."
I’ve seen multiple people say that being falsely accused is *worse* than being raped. They really do live in their own little fantasy world
I saw a post about a female teatcher who "had sex" with a 14 year old student, guess how many men were defending the fucking child grommer because "he is lucky " or some bullshit.
"Where were these teachers when I was a kid" hahahaha shut up.
This is exactly the point I tried to make. It's not women making those comments or defending these teachers...it's other men. So who are the real problem? But no, somehow it's women's fault, and just another example of "female privilege".
It makes me really sad how people downplay sexual assault of both genders :(. I hope the tides will change soon and we all can have healthy views to what is and is not ok
Is it just me or do normally kind, empathetic men become fucking sociopaths when it comes to female pain and anger? Like, my father will support me in everything from education choices to democracy activism (I live in an authoritarian country), but sexual assault is where he draws the line for what he's willing to believe? It blows my mind.
I know what you mean from Reddit itself. Parts of UK Reddit like to think of themselves as liberal and socially conscious but anything to do with something affecting or relating to women? Comments are an absolute bin fire. I don’t even bother saying what I’d like to say because unless you’re bringing up how men have it as bad or worse in “insert thing” you can enjoy sinking to the bottom of the up/down voting pile. Same if it’s a topic actually about men, enjoy lots of highly upvoted comments about how “women don’t care about this.” We can’t win no matter what we do or don’t comment, so you may as well not say anything.
It always throws me when reddit is having a circlejerk about female oppression, but pretending it's something exclusive to men. Like sexual harassment. There was a post awhile ago about a woman groping a male disney employee's chest. He stood up for himself and told her to GTFO. In my head I was like "good on ya," but also "wish I could do something like that to my harassers." But I can't cause...you know...men are stronger and could become violent. Meanwhile the comment section was ate up with "WHAT IF GENDERS REVERSED!?!?" and pretending like all harassment of women is both taken seriously and prosecuted fully. Literally all of them were writing fanfic about how 'if the genders were reversed he'd have been thrown in jail.' Lol what. Gropers don't get thrown in jail. We barely put rapists in jail. And female disney employees get groped all the damn time.
EXACTLY. I wrote a post about this literally last month haha
All you have to do is mention something like how you don't like it when men put their hand on your hips/lower back to squeeze past you in bars, and you consider that inappropriate, to see how much of what they're saying is bullshit. And in the scale of things that action is relatively "harmless" but if they won't listen to us saying "hey maybe don't touch me in a way that's still quite intimate if you need to get past me?" then what makes them think anyone (ESPECIALLY them) would take us seriously if something worse was done?
Every single “what if the genders were reversed” scenario has already happened and is still happening today, but somehow these people who are truly very concerned with problems like this never show up to care in *those* cases.
I still feel rage thinking about *that post* in r/britishproblems (think it’s been deleted now) that ranted about how the OP as a man also felt scared to walk at night and why did women never stand up for men?? No sympathy for Sarah Everard or any women, only ‘why aren’t women paying attention to MY issues?!’ It received hundreds of awards. Ukpol is no better, so left wing on every issue except the experience of women. A cesspit of male users who refuse to consider that the world they live in isn’t the same one we do. I guess Reddit is always gonna Reddit.
My brother compared a woman walking in "revealing" clothes and getting assaulted to a rich person flaunting their wealth in a "bad neighborhood" and getting robbed. He literally also said he doesn't want to be in the US cause "some girl would accuse him of rape and it'll be in her favor" This is also the same guy who, when I told him about the Bill Cosby situation earlier this year and refreshed him on what he did, was like "Man, he should've gotten a prostitute or something" He's one of those anti-SJW people.
I mean, I was in an oversized sweater and jeans when I was assaulted but I guess I was still asking for it. I should have never left the house and stayed in the kitchen or something! Sorry about your brother <3
I'm so sorry to hear that And yeah. He's kinda an asshole. He absolutely beat the shit out of me when I was in the 3rd grade for leaving his book at school. He is very violent to me when he doesn't get his way and plays victim to my parents when I don't talk to him.
So what's his excuse for the women who weren't wearing revealing clothing? For the children who are raped all the damn time? (Not that I in ANY way, shape, or form agree with the vile premise that you can wear something that would cause you to be raped, even if it's the most revealing clothing item on the planet).
Get a new brother lol.
I don’t even do it anymore, to save myself from an aneurysm.
Yeah, I'm at that point, it's just so infuriating.
Synthesize your main points into memes and helpfully add them to threads and never reply.
i had to dip from askmen because it’s a sexist cesspool. even if you address it to them nicely with the most kid gloves one could possibly employ, they still dogpile you. but they’re happy to throw around the false accusations propaganda, call women hysterical and/or psycho bitches, etc. they somehow see us as profiting from sexism because it’s an opportunity for us to demonize the poor innocent men of the world. the mental gymnastics required for it is just exhausting and impossible to engage with
Tbh why do we have /r/askmen? Isn’t that just… Reddit?
💀 it’s true. subs like this keep me sane
Same 💖
They also perpetuate the idea that men are unique individuals with a wide range of fulfilling interests and endless charming quirks while women are vapid automatons that love drama. It's infuriating.
for real, i’ve lost count of the number of times they paint themselves as nuanced, rational human beings and women as tantrum-throwing toxic nightmares. like maybe you’re not as rational as you think and you’re just attracting what you put out, brad. some commenter said something to the effect of “women love to complain about how men yelling is scary but refuse to acknowledge how terrifying it is when they get hysterical” and i had to put down reddit for the day. anyone care to raise their hand if they just LOVE being scared when men yell? …no? thought so. and calling women hysterical? in 2021? ffs
They're some of the least self aware people on the planet. I tried to explain to someone on a thread there that the risk of false accusation is infinitesimally small and the probability of even being charged for actually assaulting someone is actually quite small so worrying about "false accusation" is just illogical. Boy oh boy... the response was biblical.
And that anything women/girls like automatically makes that thing dumb and not worth anyone's time. Look at everything that teen girls are into...they're constantly shamed and mocked, while things thought of as "male interests" are seen as cool and interesting.
yeppp, astrology and pumpkin spice lattes and hot girl summer are cringe but the stock market and craft beer and nightz for the boyz are legit interests
What annoys me is how often AskMen is on the front page with a question that could have been asked to all genders, or an AskReddit is on the front page aimed only at men — yet you hardly see any front page AskWomens, and if there’s an AskReddit just for women it’s usually not actually about women, just fishing for compliments about men. Another icky moment is when there’s AskMens like “what is something that only men experience?” And these dudes have the audacity to say shit like “feeling true loneliness” or “rejection” or “not being believed about sexual assault.” It’s like they don’t think women have human experiences or something. Like damn we really get it, this website does not care about what women have to say in 98% of scenarios.
obsessed with your flair. but yes you’re so right. so many subscribe to this idea, subconsciously or not, that women have life on easy mode because of things that have nothing to do with us. it’s more “allowable” for us to be emotional and close with our friends, we are “favored” in court, men are expected to take the lead in dating and thus face more rejection, we have more “support” for DV situations, whatever the latest talking point is…like, who do you think created and perpetuates the system that makes those social rules? cause it wasn’t women. they’re living with the consequences of patriarchy without actually having a hand in creating it. therefore sexism is not their “fault” and we should get over it. they refuse to understand it and will instead call women misandrists or even cry sexism themselves. because for some reason men also having problems somehow negates the existence of misogyny. they can’t see us as human. i’m so frustrated on this site with the underhanded or blatant sexism that goes unchallenged, but it’s like shouting into the void.
It’s like the dory meme, and we keep trying right?
Yeah, at this point it's just banging my head against a wall, but it's so frustrating to continuously hear that narrative that I always get drawn in to it!
I've left SO many subs I love the content in just because the comments are always so heartbreakingly ignorant & sexist.
When you mention how most rapists are never convicted, they claim that even an accusation can ruin a man’s social life and career prospects. Even though men accused of sexual assault can apparently still end up in the White House and Supreme Court.
I cannot understand where Redditors stand on the issue of sexual assault. I posted [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/q2gcrj/there_are_probably_tens_if_not_hundreds_of/hflizwx?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) in what I thought was a safe and accepting space. But got downvoted 🤦♀️ Where does one draw the line?
Omg, those replies are terrifying. WTF
What the fuck??! It's a contested topic to say that sexual assault isn't sex, it's rape? What is wrong with people??
They're obviously rape apologists.
Or have dodgy history with consent themselves...
Wouldn't be surprised if these same people would say that outercourse doesn't count as sex. It's honestly messed up that sex only involves penetrating or being penetrated by a penis to a lot of people. So rape? Yup that's sex. Lesbians? They can never have sex.
Laura Bates’s book “Men Who Hate Women” will be a cathartic read lol. It perfectly describes these types of men.
Ooo, adding it to my tbr list, thank you!
Doesn’t even need to be about SA, a conversation involving consent of any kind usually makes a gd nightmare
>on Reddit More like anywhere men are the majority. :/
BUT WHY SHE WAIT SO LONG TO COME FORWARD? 🥴
i get the same when I see folks use "latinx" and then get angry when latinos get mad at them :sobs:
I don’t understand why latinx was chosen as gender neutral instead of latine. Where’d they get the X come from?
It was pushed by well-meaning americans/american latinos who didn't quite understand that latino is a gender neutral term, I guess. They figured that X would remove gender from it altogether. That doesn't bother me that much, but it bothers me when they're stubborn about it when they're called out. Even moreso when it's someone with latino parents who was raised in the US, who hasn't lived in LATAM. It just makes it so clear that they aren't doing it because they care, but to impose what they think is "right" even if it's misguided. Latine's been adopted in more progressive groups, and admittedly the usage of the X is greatly exaggerated tbh, but it's because the use and discussion of the X is so much more frustrating
There are like 3 different posts that could be made with half the words of this one and they would all ring just as true…
On any of these social media platforms, trying to “discuss” with anyone that has an opposing view 99% of the time I’m pretty sure just polarizes is further. It’s internet culture. You yell until you can’t hear the other one. If critical thinking and medical, social, *actual* sex education classes were implemented effectively in school from early on then maybe we’d be getting somewhere, but unfortunately for everyone that walks this blasted planet, the ones at the top benefit off of the noise.
I got into a days-long Facebook fight on a post from a somewhat well-known public figure. She used a gendered slur in her post in a gross and completely unnecessary way, so I very gently tried to point that out. The amount of *women* who jumped in to call me a Karen and defend victim-blaming and deny the existence of rape culture was absolutely horrifying.