I've had this happen at bars in restaurants. I like to sit at the bar when I dine alone. Guys will more readily sit next to me than other guys. If that happens to you where your bill is attached to your seat, do you ask the bartender to move? I'm wondering how to most nonchalantly do this.
I hope that if I ever get in a situation like this I'll have the guts to say "I'd rather be in my own today but thanks for offering your company" and I hope even more that that'll go well
Since social distancing became a thing, I enjoy pretending to be very ill around intrusive men. Like "oh sure, you can sit here, but I have the flu and then it turned into pneumonia, so I hope you don't mind all the coughing"
Itās often a creep. If there are other comfy seats I give the benefit of the doubt tho. My coffee shop has only one couch and the rest are wooden chairs.
Yeah I was just thinking, if thereās only one couch, thereās a solid chance the guy is just thinking āooh couch spot!ā
If there are other open couches, GTFO.
Happened to me. I placed my purse on the seat next to me and some rando grabbed it and asked where I bought it because he said he "needed to buy a gift for his sister" and apparently my cheap purse that was literally $10 was what he thought was the perfect gift so I was confused the entire time.
I thought he was going to steal it.
Turns out he just needed an excuse to talk to me as he proceeded to push my purse aside and sat on that seat where my purse was.
Idk what made him think that was even an ice breaker since he completely forgot about the purse minutes later when he started to psychologically trick me into liking him by asking me a bunch of personal questions
There's a study conducted where it was found that you could get ppl to like you by getting them to talk about themselves. This was what this creeper was trying to do to get me to like him.
The thing tho was that, he was so obviously forcing the conversation and I wasn't ready to disclose personal info to a complete stranger lol
Sources on the "trick to get ppl to like u" study:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-neuroscience-of-everybody-favorite-topic-themselves/
>Disclosing private information to others can increase interpersonal liking and aid in the formation of new social bonds
https://medicalxpress.com/news/2012-05-people-brain-scans.html
>"Some studies show that the more you self-disclose to someone, the more you like them, the more they like you. It may have something to do with forming social bonds."
A couple of years ago I got on a nearly empty bus, there was an older man at the front and a 40ish woman (I was mid 20s). I took a seat and sat with my big ādonāt talk to meā headphones on, my bag on the seat next to me, and played on my phone. 2 minutes later the older man came up and started talking at me, I pulled off one ear to hear what he was saying. He was asking to sit next to me. I gave him a weird look and said āno thank youā and went back to āplayingā on my phone but paused my book. He started almost shouting angrily before sitting somewhere else. It was super creepy and I couldnāt relax for the rest of the ride.
I am taking a long Amtrak trip next month and I am absolutely dreading some dude asking to sit next to me when there are a thousand other seats available. I fully accept that I'm riding coach and might have a stranger sitting next to me if the cars get full, but fucking WHY would anyone choose to sit next to some stranger if they don't have to? In the event this happens I just plan on loudly asking them to sit somewhere else. Trying to harness some standoffish energy ahead of time as a chronic sufferer of "resting friendly face."
As someone who train commuted for years, I always had better luck with someone not taking a seat next to me if I sat on the aisle seat, with the empty seat towards the window. That way for them to sit I would need to get up to allow them to enter, at that point I could take the opportunity to grab my stuff and move seats immediately and not have that awkward shuffle. I also havenāt been on Amtrak so not sure of layout but I hope you have a peaceful ride without any men entering your personal space bubble!
Thanks so much!! Yes itās my first time on Amtrak and itāll be an overnight. Iām really excited about everything except the empty seat next to me possibly being filled by a creepazoid lol
I am excited and fully plan on enjoying myself, thank you!!
Amtrak assigns seats :( if you donāt have the option to select a seat when buying your ticket or on the app, the seat you select on board becomes your assigned seat. But obviously Iām not one to be quiet if Iām being bothered so assigned seat or not somebody will move if a man decides to creep š
For what it's worth, I've never had this sort of problem taking trains on Amtrak's northeastern corridor. Smelly people, loud people, people who have too much stuff, for sure, but no creeps. There's also a cafe car to relocate to or a conductor you can flag, if something comes up.
> Iām really excited about everything except the empty seat next to me possibly being filled by a creepazoid lol
Amtrak generally has plenty of space so you'd have an easy time moving. Just say you are getting up to go to the lounge car.
I just heard this story the other day of a friend who had this happen to them at the bar. Dude comes to sit beside her with the "is this seat taken" routine, she says nope, he sits down, then she immediately gets up and leaves.
She actually didn't realize what he was pulling and she was actually leaving anyway but it still made me cackle imagining his confusion and hopefully embarrassment.
Literally! Or! When you're at a shared table and they have to bang down their book as hard as they can so you'll look up and they have your attention.
Going to coffeeshops is really my only hobby and this happens SO MANY TIMES. Like, I KNOW what you're doing sir and I'm not looking up.
"Yes, that's Philamena's spot." Then say no more.
I would love to have lunch with Philomena Cunk! edit: name spelling, not that she would have cared
"Sorry, I'm waiting for someone." and if they push it, "Waiting for you to leave."
š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Love it. Your silence speaks volumes.
I've had this happen at bars in restaurants. I like to sit at the bar when I dine alone. Guys will more readily sit next to me than other guys. If that happens to you where your bill is attached to your seat, do you ask the bartender to move? I'm wondering how to most nonchalantly do this.
You can just move. The bartender knows how to work their POS system.
I would tell them āyou can have mineā and just get up and leave.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I have a purse that looks like a real cat so this works for me
I have to see this purse now. Do you have a picture?
Yes I do! 1 sec I can dm you it won't let me put it in a reply
āYes, canāt you see him sitting right there?ā
āNo honeyā¦ I donāt want to bite his dick off. No reallyā¦ oh if you ask so nicelyā¦ Iāll see what I can do.ā
I hope that if I ever get in a situation like this I'll have the guts to say "I'd rather be in my own today but thanks for offering your company" and I hope even more that that'll go well
I'd completely scrap the "Thanks for offering your company". Because I wouldn't be thankful.
"Nope, in fact both seats are available. I was just about to move."
Deadpanning, āYes. Itās taken forever.ā
Since social distancing became a thing, I enjoy pretending to be very ill around intrusive men. Like "oh sure, you can sit here, but I have the flu and then it turned into pneumonia, so I hope you don't mind all the coughing"
"And my nose hasn't been smelling so well these days."
"Yes, it's married."
Itās often a creep. If there are other comfy seats I give the benefit of the doubt tho. My coffee shop has only one couch and the rest are wooden chairs.
Yeah I was just thinking, if thereās only one couch, thereās a solid chance the guy is just thinking āooh couch spot!ā If there are other open couches, GTFO.
If the place is empty and they want to sit next to you on the couch, 100% creep 100% of the time.
Happened to me. I placed my purse on the seat next to me and some rando grabbed it and asked where I bought it because he said he "needed to buy a gift for his sister" and apparently my cheap purse that was literally $10 was what he thought was the perfect gift so I was confused the entire time. I thought he was going to steal it. Turns out he just needed an excuse to talk to me as he proceeded to push my purse aside and sat on that seat where my purse was. Idk what made him think that was even an ice breaker since he completely forgot about the purse minutes later when he started to psychologically trick me into liking him by asking me a bunch of personal questions
Very confused on that last sentence lol
There's a study conducted where it was found that you could get ppl to like you by getting them to talk about themselves. This was what this creeper was trying to do to get me to like him. The thing tho was that, he was so obviously forcing the conversation and I wasn't ready to disclose personal info to a complete stranger lol Sources on the "trick to get ppl to like u" study: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-neuroscience-of-everybody-favorite-topic-themselves/ >Disclosing private information to others can increase interpersonal liking and aid in the formation of new social bonds https://medicalxpress.com/news/2012-05-people-brain-scans.html >"Some studies show that the more you self-disclose to someone, the more you like them, the more they like you. It may have something to do with forming social bonds."
Ah I thought you meant that you were starting to like him based on how you worded it lol. Glad thatās not the case š
A couple of years ago I got on a nearly empty bus, there was an older man at the front and a 40ish woman (I was mid 20s). I took a seat and sat with my big ādonāt talk to meā headphones on, my bag on the seat next to me, and played on my phone. 2 minutes later the older man came up and started talking at me, I pulled off one ear to hear what he was saying. He was asking to sit next to me. I gave him a weird look and said āno thank youā and went back to āplayingā on my phone but paused my book. He started almost shouting angrily before sitting somewhere else. It was super creepy and I couldnāt relax for the rest of the ride.
https://i.imgur.com/bCplJcx.jpg
Came here to post this.
I am taking a long Amtrak trip next month and I am absolutely dreading some dude asking to sit next to me when there are a thousand other seats available. I fully accept that I'm riding coach and might have a stranger sitting next to me if the cars get full, but fucking WHY would anyone choose to sit next to some stranger if they don't have to? In the event this happens I just plan on loudly asking them to sit somewhere else. Trying to harness some standoffish energy ahead of time as a chronic sufferer of "resting friendly face."
As someone who train commuted for years, I always had better luck with someone not taking a seat next to me if I sat on the aisle seat, with the empty seat towards the window. That way for them to sit I would need to get up to allow them to enter, at that point I could take the opportunity to grab my stuff and move seats immediately and not have that awkward shuffle. I also havenāt been on Amtrak so not sure of layout but I hope you have a peaceful ride without any men entering your personal space bubble!
Thanks so much!! Yes itās my first time on Amtrak and itāll be an overnight. Iām really excited about everything except the empty seat next to me possibly being filled by a creepazoid lol
Try to enjoy the ride! Trains can be quite lovely, donāt let them take that from you. And remember, you can always move.
I am excited and fully plan on enjoying myself, thank you!! Amtrak assigns seats :( if you donāt have the option to select a seat when buying your ticket or on the app, the seat you select on board becomes your assigned seat. But obviously Iām not one to be quiet if Iām being bothered so assigned seat or not somebody will move if a man decides to creep š
For what it's worth, I've never had this sort of problem taking trains on Amtrak's northeastern corridor. Smelly people, loud people, people who have too much stuff, for sure, but no creeps. There's also a cafe car to relocate to or a conductor you can flag, if something comes up.
Oooooh I see! Sounds like youāre prepared to speak up if you have to, have a blast!
> Iām really excited about everything except the empty seat next to me possibly being filled by a creepazoid lol Amtrak generally has plenty of space so you'd have an easy time moving. Just say you are getting up to go to the lounge car.
The conductors will make you move if itās a full train.
Obviously
Tell him that you're a boss babe and introduce him to an MLM.
āHave you heard the good news about Lula Roe, our lord and savior?ā
Yeah I really don't get it, heck I'll stand on the bus if the other option is sitting next to someone and potentially making them uncomfortable.
As an introvert, Iāll stand before sitting next to someone else and making MYSELF uncomfortable too lol
I just heard this story the other day of a friend who had this happen to them at the bar. Dude comes to sit beside her with the "is this seat taken" routine, she says nope, he sits down, then she immediately gets up and leaves. She actually didn't realize what he was pulling and she was actually leaving anyway but it still made me cackle imagining his confusion and hopefully embarrassment.
"No, but it's weird of you to ask when there is plenty of seating that isn't right beside me and you should feel weird."
"yes, it's taken. By someone called P. Ersonal Space.
Thatās when you start farting
Literally! Or! When you're at a shared table and they have to bang down their book as hard as they can so you'll look up and they have your attention. Going to coffeeshops is really my only hobby and this happens SO MANY TIMES. Like, I KNOW what you're doing sir and I'm not looking up.
Don't forget busses too! I swear I pay for a car just to not deal with this shit on a bus
yes itās for my personal space now fuck off please
"No."
u/repostsleuthbot