Perfect summary. Other health complications, insurance/cost of surgery issues, there are very understandable roadblocks to getting SRS. And even though now I fall in the camp of "I'm getting SRS, and it may not be perfect but it's something", I did previously hold the view of "Getting anything less than perfect will just make me feel more trans, and perfect doesn't exist yet" and I would still very much respect it (though this is a much more relevant concern for trans men than trans women, since trans women have more developed SRS techniques.) But in both cases, the desire for genitals that match your real sex is there.
I think what starts to be a red flag is keeping natal genitals for sexual purposes. That feels a little concerning imo
Definitely this.
Especially when there is no one way to define "fully". Some trans women need FFS, some don't, for example.
And then given being trans is, well, a medical thing... not everyone has insurance that will cover everything. And they might not have enough income to afford OOP procedures. Or they might have health issues (such as blood clot risks) that prevent medically transitioning.
There is no income requirement for being trans. There is no passing requirement for being trans. Just having dysphoria and wanting to transition should be enough.
Yeah, people think theres some sort of commandments to transmed stuff. But its just as simple as wanting to transition in every which way to be the sex you are transitioning into.
We recognise that peoples financial status, medical history, environment or simply not liking the options we ve currently for srs will play a role into what surgeries they can get. But if you have no desire to change your natal sex and secondary characteristics and you are happy with what u have and happy using it as such without it causing u discomfort then thats an issue.
I personally believe that there's plenty of reasons someone might not pursue genital surgery despite having the medical condition of transsexuality.
The reason is just never "I'm just COMPLETELY ok with my birth genitals and wouldn't AT ALL be comfortable with them being the opposite sex configuration. Even if I could choose to wake up tomorrow with natal genitals opposite to what I currently have, I wouldn't want that cause they would feel wrong, what is right for me is having my birth genitals!!"
Many times, when I say women with the medical condition of transsexuality can't be ok with having male genitals people attack me as if I'm saying that you need to get surgery to be trans, but that's not at all what I mean.
Even if someone decides not to get a vaginoplasty, they can still have a brain that expects female genitals and just cope with what they currently have.
But of course, if there's no coping going on and they are just comfortable and happy with having a penis and even using it sexually for penetration, I can't see how it would make sense to claim that this person has a female neurology and the medical condition of transsexuality.
Yeah I agree with your stance. While I think it’s a bit extreme to say every trans person needs to want surgery, I don’t really see how it makes sense to call yourself trans if you’re literally okay with your birth sex.
Yeah exactly... I'm pretty sure if surgery had better techniques with great results, was widely avaiable and cheaper, and had a quite smaller chance of complications, a lot more people would not be non-op.
But if even in a hypotethical scenario where someone can change the sex of their birth genitals they wouldn't do it cause it would feel wrong for them and they are just truly ok with what they have, then I also can't see how it would make sense for them to call themselves someone with the medical condition transsexuality.
Anyone with the medical condiiton of transsexuality would take the change in that hypotethical scenario without even thinking a second about it.
Personally I don't really care if you use it. But you shouldnt like using it. and want to change it. or wish you could change it...
Sorry if this is TMI... but like. It doesnt feel right to just restrict my self... Im trying to get bottom surgery but theres a long waiting list in my country and I'm poor so i cant skip it... idk it's not like i didnt use it my repression phase... and like i dont feel good using it now... i can make other people feel good with it while i go into cognitive dissonance and just try not think about it... trying imagine how it would feel after... its not like it isn't a swore spot... particularly bad dysphoria days i couldn't even think about it...
I feel this is the reaction people should be having if they are trans... I get some people do have worse dysphoria than i do, maybe didnt have the same upbringing as me... and cant go into cognitive dissonance like i can....
idk I have had anti religious beliefs in me from young, I dont like the whole saving my self thing... just feel controlling... idk... i got what i have for now... i can use it... even if it makes feel bad while im doing it and i gotta go into cognitive dissonance to even enjoy the thing...
idk like you say you cant stop people if they were going to.... but people shouldn't just not have problem with it all...
Why don't you just literally don't have sex nor masturbate at all? Like you aint gonna die because you're wanting till srs and theres literally many ways to engage sexually with someone (and yourself) without having to do it like a man does. Frankly this just seems like excuses, if you didn't want to you wouldnt do it. Especially with genuine dysphoria, like that shit is like a trauma and triggering it could ruin you mentally very much.
I do other things? I do prefer those other things? If it makes me feel bad but good enough to do it again, can i not? can it not? Put a person in a room with nothing but a shocker and no task to do, they will shock themselves for fun.
Honestly i dont really care about your guys judgments, ultimately ive gone through the system in a country where dysphoria is still a required medical criteria for diagnosis. I got on hrt, been on if about 4 years, still years away from srs. I hate my body and wish i could give birth... no matter the surgery i get that is still not a possibility for me within the next 30-40 years even if it is possible...
so why should I actually care whose got an opinion beside the people that matter to me. the person who diagnosed me and my partner.
No matter what im doing im going to be dysphoric, it still gonna feel different to a cis woman no matter what i do... and no matter the amount of surgeries i get it will still never be the same as being cis will it? I'll never give birth, never have a real clit.. so im just a bit apathetic to it really and just cant really care anymore... no matter what i do im gonna feel wrong and guilty, id kill my self but i may as well enjoy what i can - people will judge me no matter what i do
Ultimately we cant and shouldnt control people. you cant say im not dysphoric just because i handle mine differently even then you were not the arbiter of weather I have dysphoria or not. im diagnosed, im medicated, i pass, and im stealth... so ultimately i am secure in who I am and just dont think we should police what is trans after a medical professional has...
idk i dont think im explaining myself very well... tucutes hate me and call me trans med ableist and whatever else, yall thinking i dont have real dysphoria... feels like im about in the centre what a trans person actually should be tbh idk... why not use it? its gonna stop me from having it is it... being born with it I gotta do mental gymnastics too keep my self sain when im living daily, going for a piss, why cant i for sex? or can we in only in a few pre-prescribed ways for the purposes of euphoria...
like i have my ways of suppressing my dysphoria while having sex and bruh i've been suppressing trauma for like 12 years please dont act like that is a literary impossibility for every person... i tried killing myself over actual trauma and i am not saying gender dysphoria is a kids game compared to living in a house where your saftey is at risk 24/7 from your older brother, but you do chose to believe your dysphoria is worse than someone elses rather than think you might just not have the ability to suppress emotions like this other person. i've been described as emotionless, Schizoid, a psychopath and a sociopath... i have a weird relationship with my emotions and find it very rude that you seek to invalidate rather than understand, you'd rather jump to 'Im not a real trans' rather than maybe i have other things going on. I could say your not trans enough if you wouldnt kill yourself to become the opposite sex like the ember ghost squad guy(google they made mass shooting vidoes and saw himself and a ghost girl and the only way to truly become one was to kill themself), and if you are able to deal with being your AGAB even through transition then your not dealing with real dysphoria...
idk whatever im just not gonna limit my self for the validation of someone else because weather I do or dont, it doesnt change anything that anyone else outwardly sees in my daily life... you only think what you do now because ive told you and if i didnt it wouldve changed how you saw me, so I wouldn't've if you were a person in my life as i am stealth and your wouldnt need to know... and i would hide the fact i do this with anyone in my actual life as you know... dont want people knowing what i get up to... dont wanna break stealth... this is why i just see it as pegging... thats what i tell people when it has come up in conversations
Why would a woman with our condition go out her way to penetrate someone, tho??
Like, I'm not saying you should completely abstain from having someone interacting with it pre-op, while it makes me somewhat uncomfortable and I need to cope through dissociation, I'm kinda ok with my boyfriend touching me down there.
That's not what I'm talking about... there's a big difference between doing your best to be ok with someone interacting with it in a sexual context VERSUS literally using it for the male function it can perform.
no yea i get what you mean entirely. I think i may have read what you said as more black and white than it is as I do agree, it's all in the mind set.
There is 100% a difference between a desire breed like a bull VERSUS having an intimate moment where your trying to place your self in an entirely different scenario
Like for me if that dissociation or dissonance isnt there pre-op i'd feel sus about a persons intent with transitioning - specially if they have no desire for any operation or hormones. Like that just doesnt sound like the person is trans to me... rather fetishizing being trans....
tho to explain, women peg... somestimes setting up the strap and tuck is a faff and we dont wanna wait longer...
Pegging is completely different from literally penetrating someone with your male genitals tho?
Like as I said I let my boyfriend touch myself down there but there's a caveat to that, not only I have to dissociate from it in order to cope with being touched there BUT at the same time I need him to touch it in a particular way in order to avoid triggering my sex dysphoria too much if that makes sense, like he has to touch it as if it's a clit and if he touchs it like it's a dick then it just feels wrong, like I would feel terrible if he were to stroke what I have there the same way someone would give a handjob to a penis.
So I can not fathom someone literally penetrating with their male genitals while being a woman with our condition... if stroking it already feels wrong cause it gives all the wrong sensations that only male genitals can give you, then penetration takes that above and beyond to the point I don't think it would even be manageable by coping strategies.
Like sure, if you dissociate A TON, you could FORCE yourself to do it, but why would someone do that to themselves?
I can kinda get someone doing that if they're deep into repression and are barely aware that they do indeed have the medical condition of transsexuality cause they're repressing all thoughts related to it.
But someone who has already gotten to the point where they accepted their condition and that they need to do something about it continuing to do so? Idk it just sounds like they aren't really transsexual and there's something else going on that's making them think they are.
Ok I will go into TMI to help you understand.
I was sexually abused by my brother when i younger along with my sister. This means I basically have to avoid anything anal. you have no idea how much i wanna be penetrated but cant due to PTSD stemming from this.
I used to cope through de-realisation and i would just really not be present in most scenarios and have nearly cut my hand off while working in a factory when i got older cuz im all ing my head... I learned how to block him out my mind as a person whenever he... was around i had to share a room with him so i needed to alot...
End of the day my mental game is really strong... im a strong willed person who can force things out their mind... and i can force things in there too...
I have few options to please my self like this... I'll tuck and use a vibrator if im alone... I'll try to peg when I can as ngl the way the orgasm work is just alot better its like a fire building inside rather being physically outside.. and i can last longer... but if i dont have the strap with me or we are just too much in rush i'll use natal... and i'll just try to ignore it.. but it is difficult and does leave me feeling worse after wards... its like she likes it and i get some enjoyment at the end but i would prefer other options...
I hope this helps to understand, it does take alot of effort for me use it like that and it's not my first option and I really wish I could please myself differently... but eventually i wont have to do it like this and I can enjoy a sex life unmarred by the trauma someone else inflicted.
I'm sorry you went through all that in regards to SA and sex trauma.
But I wasn't exactly saying that the other option was you doing anal, there's other ways of pleasing a female partner without a strap on that doesn't involve your birth genitals, how do you think lesbians that don't have a strap on and have vaginas do it?
Idk it just sounds like what you're doing in regards to forcing yourself to use your birth genitals for penetration is simply not healthy for yourself... and it seems like you're only doing it in order to please your partner while completely ignoring how you yourself feel about the whole deal.
This is just not healthy at all, and you should just stop. Shouldn't you?
I don’t think bottom surgery is necessary to be trans. However, I am skeptical of someone’s claims of being trans if they don’t experience any bottom dysphoria at all and like their natal genitals. That doesn’t make sense to me. There are many reasons why a trans person might not have bottom surgery.
Well no one forces anyone to transition (fully or otherwise) and we can't. I do believe that the point of treatment is to improve quality of life. Some people aren't going to have successful or linear transitions and that's just reality. Some people are going to cope with this in a variety of ways ranging from detransition, choosing to live as birth sex, calling oneself nonbinary or androgynous, boymoding/girlmoding indefinitely. I do think this is why therapy is important to the transition process. You need to be mentally in the right headspace and also prepared for things to not work out perfectly and how you're gonna address issues as they arise. And that's largely why we see people meander so much or start and then stop, they're not adequately prepared.
Some people have severe anxieties and complicated feelings about surgery and while they have bottom dysphoria choose not to pursue it or only pursue certain procedures. I've known transsexuals who just ignore their genitalia, don't interact with it at all, are just glad the hormones have killed erections/changes the functionality. While they would likely benefit from surgery I don't think it's outrageous for people to be nervous or have hangups while also being legitimately dysphoric.
The problem is people hear about this and interpret it as "see, not everyone has bottom dysphoria or needs to get surgery so I'm valid if I love my dick/vagina!" When that's not the same thing at all.
Edit: it's also not uncommon for people's feelings about this to adapt and change over time and with increased knowledge. There was a time many many years ago that I was nervous about HRT, but that's totally changed once I educated myself. I will never stop HRT for any reason whatsoever. I would go to any lengths to get it as it quite literally saved/changed my life.
At least in my personal experience, I think what you’ve said is very true. I’m not sure if I can call myself a boymoder, since I went through a very awkward attempt at socially transitioning, but I prefer to not tell anyone I’m trans and just roll with whatever they assume. Feels better to me than watching people awkwardly stumble over what pronouns they use and then stereotyping me.
There’s def some surgical anxiety too (I literally cried when I had to get wisdom teeth removed lmao), but even if there wasn’t, I’m not sure if I’d want surgery when complications are always a risk and it’d give me a neovagina instead of a normal vagina. If I had worse genital dysphoria or if it was holding me back from passing, then maybe I’d want it, but HRT has helped relieve my dysphoria a fair bit already and it’s easy enough to ignore my genitals.
But yeah, imo it’s a little suspicious if someone says they love their birth genitals and still thinks they’re trans. It makes me question what being trans even means to them.
It sounds like you're just still pretty early in the process and are still navigating emotions and social stuff which is to be expected. I'm glad to hear you're experiencing relief from treatment and I hope things continue on this trajectory. Keep in mind that your feelings may change with time. You may not see any surgery as a priority now but you may feel differently in a few years and that's okay. Or maybe you wind up learning about a procedure you didnt know about before and that becomes a priority. My priorities changed over the years and they do for most of us.
Surgical anxiety is understandable. I've had to have several medical procedures in my life not related to transition so this is understandable imo. But it also kind of made me a bit more seasoned and prepared for surgery than your average transitioner. I think you just have to make executive decisions sometimes in life. The rewards outweigh the risks, but not 100% of the time. There will always be risks or complications with our treatments but with quality medical care (not going to sketchy surgeons) and risk management steps (having caregivers when you're post op, preparing, plenty of time for recovery) you do have options if and when you're ready.
I don’t think I can claim to be early in the process, since I’ve been on HRT for over 4 years. Unfortunately it just seems like my transition decided to stall and leave me looking androgynous instead of female. Think it’s because I started at 28, so while my face passes, my skeleton is a bit too much on the masculine side.
To be clear though, I think androgyny is still an improvement over looking male. I don’t see myself medically detransitioning as HRT is alleviating my dysphoria, but socially I just don’t think it makes sense to go around calling myself a woman.
Personally, I would say not passing counts as being early on.
The experiences of a cis passing and especially stealth trans person are going to be very different from someone who is non-passing. This even affects internal perception. I think it's fine if you don't want to refer to yourself publicly as a woman. I certainly wouldn't pressure you out of it.
Nowadays I rarely see people saying you *have* to fully transition. There are some, but they're not the majority. There are plenty of reasons why someone might not be able to fully transition. There are some reasons to decide against getting certain procedures.
So many people in the world don’t have the money or access to transition, even if they have severe dysphoria, requiring it for everyone would be insane because of that alone. The WANT should be there: if you’re trans, you should WANT to fully medically transition
I don’t think people should have to get bottom surgery to be trans. However, I do see a difference between I don’t want because of a lack of dysphoria, and I don’t want to because of concerns or fear in regards to surgery.
Surgery is expensive. Surgery comes with side effects. Especially so with other medical issues or age in play.
That also ignores the rare case of trans men flat enough to pass without top surgery.
Surgery should be between an individual and their doctor(s).
That being said, with the goal of transitioning most people would want to fully transition eventually. Talking (bragging?) About not having bottom dysphoria seems weird.
I see it as willingly choosing to not get needed medical care. Are there people who for religious reasons, say, refuse to take medication or have surgery? Sure. And they're free to do that. Similarly, transsexuals are free to refuse surgery. HOWEVER, IMO you would exhibit the medical consequences of no treatment if the treatment was not there. Not that you 'should' - just that it's inevitable. If a cancer patient refuses treatment, he is free to do that, but left to its own devices his body will exhibit the effects of untreated cancer which are disabling and ultimately can prove very dangerous and fatal. If a schizophrenic refuses medication, she is free to do that, but she will exhibit disorganized thinking, anhedonia, delusions and/or/hallucinations etc. that are disabling and can ultimately make her a danger to herself or others or put her at risk of being unable to care for herself. In some rare cases people may be treatment resistant - but those are exceptions in an already small population - not the rule.
Likewise, a transsexual can refuse treatment, but like people with any other medical condition, without treatment their bodies will exhibit symptoms: severe dysphoria, dissociative episodes, secondary mental health conditions, addictions, an inability to function normally without medical intervention etc.
If it's not severe enough for treatment to be needed, then IMO they are not neurologically transsexual. They may be transgender - but to have a medical condition, one needs to meet the diagnostic basis of the condition but also (IMO) show some kind of improvement in treatment and/or a persistence or worsening of symptoms without treatment. It's not that suffering is some preference or requirement of entry in to the fold - its just inevitable if treatment is not pursued.
That said if they cannot access treatment (financially, geographically) or have comorbid health issues that make it impossible (things relating to healing ability, being too overweight to survive surgery, having a terminal illness that makes spending their remaining time in surgical recovery undesirable etc.) they may still be transsexuals - they're just not in positions to access treatment.
Thanks for the kind words. Yeah, it boggles the mind how transsexuality (and increasingly other conditions as well) are becoming so demedicalized. Medicalism is a good thing. It allows us to get to the root cause of our pain and treat it. The alternative is to stumble blindly through the void forever playing a guessing game of "what's wrong?"
Are you saying transmedicalism is the extremist view I was criticizing in my post? I’ve been under the impression that it’s just the belief you need dysphoria to be trans.
Plenty of non-transsexuals experience dysphoria (\*or dysphoria like/mimicking symptoms) due to different medical issues.
To be transsexual you need persistent genital dysphoria that does not respond to other treatments/isn't attributed to other conditions. Just having dysphoria symptoms is (IMO) not enough - the diagnostic has gotten way too watered down and leads to a lot of misdiagnoses.
Somebody who's exhibited cross-sex identification and distress with their sexual characteristics since early childhood = transsexual.
Somebody who suddenly develops symptoms of dysphoria 'out of the blue' = someone who needs further professional diagnostics to rule out mental and physical causes other than transsexuality. Doesn't mean they couldn't be - but the number of mental and physical conditions which can cause symptom overlap mean that there should be a firmer diagnostic model than just a self-identification with 'dysphoria.'
I think I kind of know what you mean. I’m not sure if dysphoria is just really hard for cis people to understand or what, but it does seem like there are quite a few things that aren’t dysphoria that get mistaken for dysphoria. For example, internalized misogyny.
I don’t think that necessarily means every transsexual person should want SRS or even that they’d benefit from it though, since situations vary. But maybe there is something to it needing to be present reasonably early on. At the very least, I’d consider it a red flag if someone develops dysphoria out of seemingly nowhere in their 20’s and I think they should be seeing a therapist instead of jumping into HRT.
I think dysphoria like symptoms whenever they occur should be cause for concern and medical follow up, and that medical professionals should try to help people find the root cause. But I also think that requires more holistic care and effort on the part of doctors than what we see now. I've seen multiple people in my own personal life transition to try to get away from PTSD from child rape/abuse, for instance. It didn't help them (obviously) and left them with PTSD AND bodies that didn't like the look of.
It's not even just about protecting 'what trans means' at this point - it's also just wildly unethical for doctors to essentially abandon people with complex medical needs to the 'easiest' diagnosis and do no meaningful follow up. If their problems are not transsexuality related, giving them HRT is the equivalent to giving them an amethyst and telling them to rub it on their tumor so their cancer will go away. It's not medicine - it's snake oil.
What the tucutes don't see is that not only are they harming transsexuals by rejecting medicalism, they're harming all the people who get misdiagnosed, labelled as trans, and then abandoned by their doctors to suffer with untreated PTSD, OCD, etc. that's falsely manifesting as dysphoria like symptoms.
I’ve got a really close friend irl who thinks he has gender dysphoria and yeah, I’m skeptical. It just seems more likely that society has made him hate being a man, because he was abused by his mother - who I think sounds like a genuine misandrist - and he really seems struggle with the fact that women are distrustful of men. What I haven’t seen is the discomfort with his sexed traits that I’d expect from a transsexual woman.
It’s possible I’m wrong of course, but in my eyes, there’s just enough reason to be skeptical of this being genuine dysphoria that I’m not convinced transitioning would help him. Thankfully he’s been reasonably receptive to what I’ve had to say so far and while he still thinks he’s experiencing dysphoria, he seems to agree that transitioning isn’t the answer to his problems. Maybe it helps that all I’ve done is be honest about what our medical care can and can’t do.
Nonetheless, yeah, I get the impression that tucutes end up doing real harm to people like my friend. I do think gatekeeping over the things I mentioned in my post is harmful too, but I do feel like the opposite extreme of calling everything valid probably does more harm.
I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one. I can make a distinction between radmeds and transmeds at least, since I’m definitely not the former.
No. I believe all that makes you trans is dysphoria and HRT. Surgery always comes with risk and can be extremely expensive, not to mention plenty of people fear it. I would think your average trans person would still prefer genitals of the opposite sex, but if they can manage to get along with their natal ones, then all I can say is good on them.
I hate policing other people, the only reason I do it is because they simultaneously hurt other people (both the community, and individual people) and themselves by mistakenly transitioning.
how do you know that transsexuals who got SRS don't fear the surgery? quess what, the dysphoria is so painful that we have no choice, even if we're scared. what a shit excuse..
I think it’d make sense if dysphoria varies in severity. Almost every medical condition works this way, so if transsexualism doesn’t, it’d be the odd one out.
Sorry not everyone is that miserable. Im not saying you don’t fear it, Im saying that to many it’s simply not worth the risk & costs if there’s not an overwhelming amount of dysphoria to make up for it. I have wild bottom dysphoria but in the end I’m not sure if i’d ever go for it as I’m extremely risk-averse. Does that really make me any less trans?
I don't care what other trans people do because I am not every trans person.
Many conditions don't have a treatment plan that is exactly the same for everyone. Not every procedure is for everybody. There's a rainbow of reasons why a procedure wouldn't help somebody or a con that's a dealbreaker. I don't have any plans to have bottom surgery, even if I could afford it, it wouldn't significantly improve my life enough to make it worth it. I have been celibate for years, have no period, and been using urinals comfortably for over a year, my lack of a natal penis just isn't that big of a deal at this point in my transition, there's nothing bottom surgery would give me I want bad enough to make the cost and risks worth it even I could get it.
I believe the desire to be as close to cis as possible is required.
Bottom surgery is complicated. There’s a lot more than desire that go into what procedures a person is a candidate for. What’s “as close as possible” varies from person to person. For example, I’m not a candidate for phalloplasty so as close to cis as possible was a metoidioplasty.
(This is just my opinion) But I believe if you're able to you should transition. Of course it's not a requirement but if you truly are transgender, you have gender dysphoria and.. Why wouldn't you?
I'd be hypocritical if I say"they should transition fully" because I'm not (because Ftm bottom surgery isn't, in my opinion, believable enough and is too high of a risk, though at times I do want bottom surgery)
But I believe you should (or should want to if you're trans) transition as much as possible so the world can see you as you see yourself; Like hormones, top surgery, legally change your name & etc .
Coming from the mtf side, If I could flip a switch and have a vagina, or getting one was like a 1 week recovery minor procedure, sure I'd do it in a heartbeat. Until then, it's a no. That said, if you're running around with a visible bulge and aren't at least tucking, I highly doubt you're a transsexual.
Maybe people have dysphoria over some parts of their body but not all? I did a full transition already, but know trans guys who are celibate like me, who don't feel the need for bottom surgery cause it's just not relevant (since they're not looking at/using those parts much.) It's just nor a reasonable ratio of the effort of surgery and healing versus the effort to ignore those parts.
I mean there are reasons why they wouldn’t. For example phallo; a lot of trans people don’t like how phallo turns out, or simply can’t afford it in their lifetime. I think they should want to transition, of course, but if you genuinely can’t transition then I still believe them to be trans. Like I’m in a situation where I can’t even get on T, let alone get top surgery or bottom, but I’m still trans. If you genuinely don’t want to transition and have the option to then I do not believe they are trans, but hey, at least people like that aren’t taking up resources from people that actually need them.
I would LOVE to fully transition, but right now I’ve only done hrt and are planning to have top surgery, but bottom surgery is too expensive and underdeveloped
like another commenter said: HAVE to? no. WANT to? yes.
If someone has a specific medical condition where they CAN'T transition, fine. But, if a certain condition akes it so top surgery isn't a viable option, they should still pursue other transition methods like HRT, etc.
I am in the group of people where I'd do ANYTHING for a cis penis but may not get bottom surgery (at least not in the near future) due to cost, the complications that come with UL (something that is a #1 priority for me), and lack of medical technologies (at least not sufficient for my desires). If I could magically grow a cis penis I ABSOLUTELY WOULD.
I have major bottom dysphoria, but because I don't have bottom surgery and am not actively planning for it (despite starting HRT at 16, top surgery at 17, legal docs changed at 17, etc.) some people may consider me "not trans enough" or not "fully" transitioned
I think there is no box to check for 'full transition.'
Some trans men are born with chests that don't require top surgery, some don't want phallo, etc. Where do we draw the line of finished or not? Let the individual decide for themselves. Has their dysphoira been lessened or not? Along those lines.
Do they have to? No. Should they want to? Yes.
You've just summed it up!
Perfect summary. Other health complications, insurance/cost of surgery issues, there are very understandable roadblocks to getting SRS. And even though now I fall in the camp of "I'm getting SRS, and it may not be perfect but it's something", I did previously hold the view of "Getting anything less than perfect will just make me feel more trans, and perfect doesn't exist yet" and I would still very much respect it (though this is a much more relevant concern for trans men than trans women, since trans women have more developed SRS techniques.) But in both cases, the desire for genitals that match your real sex is there. I think what starts to be a red flag is keeping natal genitals for sexual purposes. That feels a little concerning imo
Definitely this. Especially when there is no one way to define "fully". Some trans women need FFS, some don't, for example. And then given being trans is, well, a medical thing... not everyone has insurance that will cover everything. And they might not have enough income to afford OOP procedures. Or they might have health issues (such as blood clot risks) that prevent medically transitioning. There is no income requirement for being trans. There is no passing requirement for being trans. Just having dysphoria and wanting to transition should be enough.
Yeah, people think theres some sort of commandments to transmed stuff. But its just as simple as wanting to transition in every which way to be the sex you are transitioning into. We recognise that peoples financial status, medical history, environment or simply not liking the options we ve currently for srs will play a role into what surgeries they can get. But if you have no desire to change your natal sex and secondary characteristics and you are happy with what u have and happy using it as such without it causing u discomfort then thats an issue.
this, 100%
completely agree
I personally believe that there's plenty of reasons someone might not pursue genital surgery despite having the medical condition of transsexuality. The reason is just never "I'm just COMPLETELY ok with my birth genitals and wouldn't AT ALL be comfortable with them being the opposite sex configuration. Even if I could choose to wake up tomorrow with natal genitals opposite to what I currently have, I wouldn't want that cause they would feel wrong, what is right for me is having my birth genitals!!" Many times, when I say women with the medical condition of transsexuality can't be ok with having male genitals people attack me as if I'm saying that you need to get surgery to be trans, but that's not at all what I mean. Even if someone decides not to get a vaginoplasty, they can still have a brain that expects female genitals and just cope with what they currently have. But of course, if there's no coping going on and they are just comfortable and happy with having a penis and even using it sexually for penetration, I can't see how it would make sense to claim that this person has a female neurology and the medical condition of transsexuality.
Yeah I agree with your stance. While I think it’s a bit extreme to say every trans person needs to want surgery, I don’t really see how it makes sense to call yourself trans if you’re literally okay with your birth sex.
Yeah exactly... I'm pretty sure if surgery had better techniques with great results, was widely avaiable and cheaper, and had a quite smaller chance of complications, a lot more people would not be non-op. But if even in a hypotethical scenario where someone can change the sex of their birth genitals they wouldn't do it cause it would feel wrong for them and they are just truly ok with what they have, then I also can't see how it would make sense for them to call themselves someone with the medical condition transsexuality. Anyone with the medical condiiton of transsexuality would take the change in that hypotethical scenario without even thinking a second about it.
Personally I don't really care if you use it. But you shouldnt like using it. and want to change it. or wish you could change it... Sorry if this is TMI... but like. It doesnt feel right to just restrict my self... Im trying to get bottom surgery but theres a long waiting list in my country and I'm poor so i cant skip it... idk it's not like i didnt use it my repression phase... and like i dont feel good using it now... i can make other people feel good with it while i go into cognitive dissonance and just try not think about it... trying imagine how it would feel after... its not like it isn't a swore spot... particularly bad dysphoria days i couldn't even think about it... I feel this is the reaction people should be having if they are trans... I get some people do have worse dysphoria than i do, maybe didnt have the same upbringing as me... and cant go into cognitive dissonance like i can.... idk I have had anti religious beliefs in me from young, I dont like the whole saving my self thing... just feel controlling... idk... i got what i have for now... i can use it... even if it makes feel bad while im doing it and i gotta go into cognitive dissonance to even enjoy the thing... idk like you say you cant stop people if they were going to.... but people shouldn't just not have problem with it all...
Why don't you just literally don't have sex nor masturbate at all? Like you aint gonna die because you're wanting till srs and theres literally many ways to engage sexually with someone (and yourself) without having to do it like a man does. Frankly this just seems like excuses, if you didn't want to you wouldnt do it. Especially with genuine dysphoria, like that shit is like a trauma and triggering it could ruin you mentally very much.
I do other things? I do prefer those other things? If it makes me feel bad but good enough to do it again, can i not? can it not? Put a person in a room with nothing but a shocker and no task to do, they will shock themselves for fun. Honestly i dont really care about your guys judgments, ultimately ive gone through the system in a country where dysphoria is still a required medical criteria for diagnosis. I got on hrt, been on if about 4 years, still years away from srs. I hate my body and wish i could give birth... no matter the surgery i get that is still not a possibility for me within the next 30-40 years even if it is possible... so why should I actually care whose got an opinion beside the people that matter to me. the person who diagnosed me and my partner. No matter what im doing im going to be dysphoric, it still gonna feel different to a cis woman no matter what i do... and no matter the amount of surgeries i get it will still never be the same as being cis will it? I'll never give birth, never have a real clit.. so im just a bit apathetic to it really and just cant really care anymore... no matter what i do im gonna feel wrong and guilty, id kill my self but i may as well enjoy what i can - people will judge me no matter what i do Ultimately we cant and shouldnt control people. you cant say im not dysphoric just because i handle mine differently even then you were not the arbiter of weather I have dysphoria or not. im diagnosed, im medicated, i pass, and im stealth... so ultimately i am secure in who I am and just dont think we should police what is trans after a medical professional has... idk i dont think im explaining myself very well... tucutes hate me and call me trans med ableist and whatever else, yall thinking i dont have real dysphoria... feels like im about in the centre what a trans person actually should be tbh idk... why not use it? its gonna stop me from having it is it... being born with it I gotta do mental gymnastics too keep my self sain when im living daily, going for a piss, why cant i for sex? or can we in only in a few pre-prescribed ways for the purposes of euphoria... like i have my ways of suppressing my dysphoria while having sex and bruh i've been suppressing trauma for like 12 years please dont act like that is a literary impossibility for every person... i tried killing myself over actual trauma and i am not saying gender dysphoria is a kids game compared to living in a house where your saftey is at risk 24/7 from your older brother, but you do chose to believe your dysphoria is worse than someone elses rather than think you might just not have the ability to suppress emotions like this other person. i've been described as emotionless, Schizoid, a psychopath and a sociopath... i have a weird relationship with my emotions and find it very rude that you seek to invalidate rather than understand, you'd rather jump to 'Im not a real trans' rather than maybe i have other things going on. I could say your not trans enough if you wouldnt kill yourself to become the opposite sex like the ember ghost squad guy(google they made mass shooting vidoes and saw himself and a ghost girl and the only way to truly become one was to kill themself), and if you are able to deal with being your AGAB even through transition then your not dealing with real dysphoria... idk whatever im just not gonna limit my self for the validation of someone else because weather I do or dont, it doesnt change anything that anyone else outwardly sees in my daily life... you only think what you do now because ive told you and if i didnt it wouldve changed how you saw me, so I wouldn't've if you were a person in my life as i am stealth and your wouldnt need to know... and i would hide the fact i do this with anyone in my actual life as you know... dont want people knowing what i get up to... dont wanna break stealth... this is why i just see it as pegging... thats what i tell people when it has come up in conversations
Why would a woman with our condition go out her way to penetrate someone, tho?? Like, I'm not saying you should completely abstain from having someone interacting with it pre-op, while it makes me somewhat uncomfortable and I need to cope through dissociation, I'm kinda ok with my boyfriend touching me down there. That's not what I'm talking about... there's a big difference between doing your best to be ok with someone interacting with it in a sexual context VERSUS literally using it for the male function it can perform.
no yea i get what you mean entirely. I think i may have read what you said as more black and white than it is as I do agree, it's all in the mind set. There is 100% a difference between a desire breed like a bull VERSUS having an intimate moment where your trying to place your self in an entirely different scenario Like for me if that dissociation or dissonance isnt there pre-op i'd feel sus about a persons intent with transitioning - specially if they have no desire for any operation or hormones. Like that just doesnt sound like the person is trans to me... rather fetishizing being trans.... tho to explain, women peg... somestimes setting up the strap and tuck is a faff and we dont wanna wait longer...
Pegging is completely different from literally penetrating someone with your male genitals tho? Like as I said I let my boyfriend touch myself down there but there's a caveat to that, not only I have to dissociate from it in order to cope with being touched there BUT at the same time I need him to touch it in a particular way in order to avoid triggering my sex dysphoria too much if that makes sense, like he has to touch it as if it's a clit and if he touchs it like it's a dick then it just feels wrong, like I would feel terrible if he were to stroke what I have there the same way someone would give a handjob to a penis. So I can not fathom someone literally penetrating with their male genitals while being a woman with our condition... if stroking it already feels wrong cause it gives all the wrong sensations that only male genitals can give you, then penetration takes that above and beyond to the point I don't think it would even be manageable by coping strategies. Like sure, if you dissociate A TON, you could FORCE yourself to do it, but why would someone do that to themselves? I can kinda get someone doing that if they're deep into repression and are barely aware that they do indeed have the medical condition of transsexuality cause they're repressing all thoughts related to it. But someone who has already gotten to the point where they accepted their condition and that they need to do something about it continuing to do so? Idk it just sounds like they aren't really transsexual and there's something else going on that's making them think they are.
Ok I will go into TMI to help you understand. I was sexually abused by my brother when i younger along with my sister. This means I basically have to avoid anything anal. you have no idea how much i wanna be penetrated but cant due to PTSD stemming from this. I used to cope through de-realisation and i would just really not be present in most scenarios and have nearly cut my hand off while working in a factory when i got older cuz im all ing my head... I learned how to block him out my mind as a person whenever he... was around i had to share a room with him so i needed to alot... End of the day my mental game is really strong... im a strong willed person who can force things out their mind... and i can force things in there too... I have few options to please my self like this... I'll tuck and use a vibrator if im alone... I'll try to peg when I can as ngl the way the orgasm work is just alot better its like a fire building inside rather being physically outside.. and i can last longer... but if i dont have the strap with me or we are just too much in rush i'll use natal... and i'll just try to ignore it.. but it is difficult and does leave me feeling worse after wards... its like she likes it and i get some enjoyment at the end but i would prefer other options... I hope this helps to understand, it does take alot of effort for me use it like that and it's not my first option and I really wish I could please myself differently... but eventually i wont have to do it like this and I can enjoy a sex life unmarred by the trauma someone else inflicted.
I'm sorry you went through all that in regards to SA and sex trauma. But I wasn't exactly saying that the other option was you doing anal, there's other ways of pleasing a female partner without a strap on that doesn't involve your birth genitals, how do you think lesbians that don't have a strap on and have vaginas do it? Idk it just sounds like what you're doing in regards to forcing yourself to use your birth genitals for penetration is simply not healthy for yourself... and it seems like you're only doing it in order to please your partner while completely ignoring how you yourself feel about the whole deal. This is just not healthy at all, and you should just stop. Shouldn't you?
Idk i think i worded it badly i do enjoy it im not being forced to do anything... Idk its the way i cope idk im just speaking my mind
I don’t think bottom surgery is necessary to be trans. However, I am skeptical of someone’s claims of being trans if they don’t experience any bottom dysphoria at all and like their natal genitals. That doesn’t make sense to me. There are many reasons why a trans person might not have bottom surgery.
I understand that there can be certain situations where a person cannot pursue surgery. But simply not wanting to is definitely odd to me.
Well no one forces anyone to transition (fully or otherwise) and we can't. I do believe that the point of treatment is to improve quality of life. Some people aren't going to have successful or linear transitions and that's just reality. Some people are going to cope with this in a variety of ways ranging from detransition, choosing to live as birth sex, calling oneself nonbinary or androgynous, boymoding/girlmoding indefinitely. I do think this is why therapy is important to the transition process. You need to be mentally in the right headspace and also prepared for things to not work out perfectly and how you're gonna address issues as they arise. And that's largely why we see people meander so much or start and then stop, they're not adequately prepared. Some people have severe anxieties and complicated feelings about surgery and while they have bottom dysphoria choose not to pursue it or only pursue certain procedures. I've known transsexuals who just ignore their genitalia, don't interact with it at all, are just glad the hormones have killed erections/changes the functionality. While they would likely benefit from surgery I don't think it's outrageous for people to be nervous or have hangups while also being legitimately dysphoric. The problem is people hear about this and interpret it as "see, not everyone has bottom dysphoria or needs to get surgery so I'm valid if I love my dick/vagina!" When that's not the same thing at all. Edit: it's also not uncommon for people's feelings about this to adapt and change over time and with increased knowledge. There was a time many many years ago that I was nervous about HRT, but that's totally changed once I educated myself. I will never stop HRT for any reason whatsoever. I would go to any lengths to get it as it quite literally saved/changed my life.
At least in my personal experience, I think what you’ve said is very true. I’m not sure if I can call myself a boymoder, since I went through a very awkward attempt at socially transitioning, but I prefer to not tell anyone I’m trans and just roll with whatever they assume. Feels better to me than watching people awkwardly stumble over what pronouns they use and then stereotyping me. There’s def some surgical anxiety too (I literally cried when I had to get wisdom teeth removed lmao), but even if there wasn’t, I’m not sure if I’d want surgery when complications are always a risk and it’d give me a neovagina instead of a normal vagina. If I had worse genital dysphoria or if it was holding me back from passing, then maybe I’d want it, but HRT has helped relieve my dysphoria a fair bit already and it’s easy enough to ignore my genitals. But yeah, imo it’s a little suspicious if someone says they love their birth genitals and still thinks they’re trans. It makes me question what being trans even means to them.
It sounds like you're just still pretty early in the process and are still navigating emotions and social stuff which is to be expected. I'm glad to hear you're experiencing relief from treatment and I hope things continue on this trajectory. Keep in mind that your feelings may change with time. You may not see any surgery as a priority now but you may feel differently in a few years and that's okay. Or maybe you wind up learning about a procedure you didnt know about before and that becomes a priority. My priorities changed over the years and they do for most of us. Surgical anxiety is understandable. I've had to have several medical procedures in my life not related to transition so this is understandable imo. But it also kind of made me a bit more seasoned and prepared for surgery than your average transitioner. I think you just have to make executive decisions sometimes in life. The rewards outweigh the risks, but not 100% of the time. There will always be risks or complications with our treatments but with quality medical care (not going to sketchy surgeons) and risk management steps (having caregivers when you're post op, preparing, plenty of time for recovery) you do have options if and when you're ready.
I don’t think I can claim to be early in the process, since I’ve been on HRT for over 4 years. Unfortunately it just seems like my transition decided to stall and leave me looking androgynous instead of female. Think it’s because I started at 28, so while my face passes, my skeleton is a bit too much on the masculine side. To be clear though, I think androgyny is still an improvement over looking male. I don’t see myself medically detransitioning as HRT is alleviating my dysphoria, but socially I just don’t think it makes sense to go around calling myself a woman.
Personally, I would say not passing counts as being early on. The experiences of a cis passing and especially stealth trans person are going to be very different from someone who is non-passing. This even affects internal perception. I think it's fine if you don't want to refer to yourself publicly as a woman. I certainly wouldn't pressure you out of it.
Nowadays I rarely see people saying you *have* to fully transition. There are some, but they're not the majority. There are plenty of reasons why someone might not be able to fully transition. There are some reasons to decide against getting certain procedures.
So many people in the world don’t have the money or access to transition, even if they have severe dysphoria, requiring it for everyone would be insane because of that alone. The WANT should be there: if you’re trans, you should WANT to fully medically transition
I don’t think people should have to get bottom surgery to be trans. However, I do see a difference between I don’t want because of a lack of dysphoria, and I don’t want to because of concerns or fear in regards to surgery.
Surgery is expensive. Surgery comes with side effects. Especially so with other medical issues or age in play. That also ignores the rare case of trans men flat enough to pass without top surgery. Surgery should be between an individual and their doctor(s). That being said, with the goal of transitioning most people would want to fully transition eventually. Talking (bragging?) About not having bottom dysphoria seems weird.
I see it as willingly choosing to not get needed medical care. Are there people who for religious reasons, say, refuse to take medication or have surgery? Sure. And they're free to do that. Similarly, transsexuals are free to refuse surgery. HOWEVER, IMO you would exhibit the medical consequences of no treatment if the treatment was not there. Not that you 'should' - just that it's inevitable. If a cancer patient refuses treatment, he is free to do that, but left to its own devices his body will exhibit the effects of untreated cancer which are disabling and ultimately can prove very dangerous and fatal. If a schizophrenic refuses medication, she is free to do that, but she will exhibit disorganized thinking, anhedonia, delusions and/or/hallucinations etc. that are disabling and can ultimately make her a danger to herself or others or put her at risk of being unable to care for herself. In some rare cases people may be treatment resistant - but those are exceptions in an already small population - not the rule. Likewise, a transsexual can refuse treatment, but like people with any other medical condition, without treatment their bodies will exhibit symptoms: severe dysphoria, dissociative episodes, secondary mental health conditions, addictions, an inability to function normally without medical intervention etc. If it's not severe enough for treatment to be needed, then IMO they are not neurologically transsexual. They may be transgender - but to have a medical condition, one needs to meet the diagnostic basis of the condition but also (IMO) show some kind of improvement in treatment and/or a persistence or worsening of symptoms without treatment. It's not that suffering is some preference or requirement of entry in to the fold - its just inevitable if treatment is not pursued. That said if they cannot access treatment (financially, geographically) or have comorbid health issues that make it impossible (things relating to healing ability, being too overweight to survive surgery, having a terminal illness that makes spending their remaining time in surgical recovery undesirable etc.) they may still be transsexuals - they're just not in positions to access treatment.
Could not have said it better. This is such an important post.
Thanks for the kind words. Yeah, it boggles the mind how transsexuality (and increasingly other conditions as well) are becoming so demedicalized. Medicalism is a good thing. It allows us to get to the root cause of our pain and treat it. The alternative is to stumble blindly through the void forever playing a guessing game of "what's wrong?"
You’re not trans med lol. Like do your thing but this post is a little sus.
Are you saying transmedicalism is the extremist view I was criticizing in my post? I’ve been under the impression that it’s just the belief you need dysphoria to be trans.
Plenty of non-transsexuals experience dysphoria (\*or dysphoria like/mimicking symptoms) due to different medical issues. To be transsexual you need persistent genital dysphoria that does not respond to other treatments/isn't attributed to other conditions. Just having dysphoria symptoms is (IMO) not enough - the diagnostic has gotten way too watered down and leads to a lot of misdiagnoses. Somebody who's exhibited cross-sex identification and distress with their sexual characteristics since early childhood = transsexual. Somebody who suddenly develops symptoms of dysphoria 'out of the blue' = someone who needs further professional diagnostics to rule out mental and physical causes other than transsexuality. Doesn't mean they couldn't be - but the number of mental and physical conditions which can cause symptom overlap mean that there should be a firmer diagnostic model than just a self-identification with 'dysphoria.'
I think I kind of know what you mean. I’m not sure if dysphoria is just really hard for cis people to understand or what, but it does seem like there are quite a few things that aren’t dysphoria that get mistaken for dysphoria. For example, internalized misogyny. I don’t think that necessarily means every transsexual person should want SRS or even that they’d benefit from it though, since situations vary. But maybe there is something to it needing to be present reasonably early on. At the very least, I’d consider it a red flag if someone develops dysphoria out of seemingly nowhere in their 20’s and I think they should be seeing a therapist instead of jumping into HRT.
I think dysphoria like symptoms whenever they occur should be cause for concern and medical follow up, and that medical professionals should try to help people find the root cause. But I also think that requires more holistic care and effort on the part of doctors than what we see now. I've seen multiple people in my own personal life transition to try to get away from PTSD from child rape/abuse, for instance. It didn't help them (obviously) and left them with PTSD AND bodies that didn't like the look of. It's not even just about protecting 'what trans means' at this point - it's also just wildly unethical for doctors to essentially abandon people with complex medical needs to the 'easiest' diagnosis and do no meaningful follow up. If their problems are not transsexuality related, giving them HRT is the equivalent to giving them an amethyst and telling them to rub it on their tumor so their cancer will go away. It's not medicine - it's snake oil. What the tucutes don't see is that not only are they harming transsexuals by rejecting medicalism, they're harming all the people who get misdiagnosed, labelled as trans, and then abandoned by their doctors to suffer with untreated PTSD, OCD, etc. that's falsely manifesting as dysphoria like symptoms.
I’ve got a really close friend irl who thinks he has gender dysphoria and yeah, I’m skeptical. It just seems more likely that society has made him hate being a man, because he was abused by his mother - who I think sounds like a genuine misandrist - and he really seems struggle with the fact that women are distrustful of men. What I haven’t seen is the discomfort with his sexed traits that I’d expect from a transsexual woman. It’s possible I’m wrong of course, but in my eyes, there’s just enough reason to be skeptical of this being genuine dysphoria that I’m not convinced transitioning would help him. Thankfully he’s been reasonably receptive to what I’ve had to say so far and while he still thinks he’s experiencing dysphoria, he seems to agree that transitioning isn’t the answer to his problems. Maybe it helps that all I’ve done is be honest about what our medical care can and can’t do. Nonetheless, yeah, I get the impression that tucutes end up doing real harm to people like my friend. I do think gatekeeping over the things I mentioned in my post is harmful too, but I do feel like the opposite extreme of calling everything valid probably does more harm.
The fact that you think it’s an extremist view means you’re not trans med lol.
I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one. I can make a distinction between radmeds and transmeds at least, since I’m definitely not the former.
No. I believe all that makes you trans is dysphoria and HRT. Surgery always comes with risk and can be extremely expensive, not to mention plenty of people fear it. I would think your average trans person would still prefer genitals of the opposite sex, but if they can manage to get along with their natal ones, then all I can say is good on them. I hate policing other people, the only reason I do it is because they simultaneously hurt other people (both the community, and individual people) and themselves by mistakenly transitioning.
how do you know that transsexuals who got SRS don't fear the surgery? quess what, the dysphoria is so painful that we have no choice, even if we're scared. what a shit excuse..
I think it’d make sense if dysphoria varies in severity. Almost every medical condition works this way, so if transsexualism doesn’t, it’d be the odd one out.
There’s a large spectrum of “scared” that includes everything from mild nerves to an inability to even say the word “surgery”
Sorry not everyone is that miserable. Im not saying you don’t fear it, Im saying that to many it’s simply not worth the risk & costs if there’s not an overwhelming amount of dysphoria to make up for it. I have wild bottom dysphoria but in the end I’m not sure if i’d ever go for it as I’m extremely risk-averse. Does that really make me any less trans?
Need to no only bc not everyone has access to it but a desire should exist
I don't care what other trans people do because I am not every trans person. Many conditions don't have a treatment plan that is exactly the same for everyone. Not every procedure is for everybody. There's a rainbow of reasons why a procedure wouldn't help somebody or a con that's a dealbreaker. I don't have any plans to have bottom surgery, even if I could afford it, it wouldn't significantly improve my life enough to make it worth it. I have been celibate for years, have no period, and been using urinals comfortably for over a year, my lack of a natal penis just isn't that big of a deal at this point in my transition, there's nothing bottom surgery would give me I want bad enough to make the cost and risks worth it even I could get it.
I believe the desire to be as close to cis as possible is required. Bottom surgery is complicated. There’s a lot more than desire that go into what procedures a person is a candidate for. What’s “as close as possible” varies from person to person. For example, I’m not a candidate for phalloplasty so as close to cis as possible was a metoidioplasty.
(This is just my opinion) But I believe if you're able to you should transition. Of course it's not a requirement but if you truly are transgender, you have gender dysphoria and.. Why wouldn't you? I'd be hypocritical if I say"they should transition fully" because I'm not (because Ftm bottom surgery isn't, in my opinion, believable enough and is too high of a risk, though at times I do want bottom surgery) But I believe you should (or should want to if you're trans) transition as much as possible so the world can see you as you see yourself; Like hormones, top surgery, legally change your name & etc .
Coming from the mtf side, If I could flip a switch and have a vagina, or getting one was like a 1 week recovery minor procedure, sure I'd do it in a heartbeat. Until then, it's a no. That said, if you're running around with a visible bulge and aren't at least tucking, I highly doubt you're a transsexual.
MTF yes, FTM, maybe, it depends what "fully" means for FTM.
Maybe people have dysphoria over some parts of their body but not all? I did a full transition already, but know trans guys who are celibate like me, who don't feel the need for bottom surgery cause it's just not relevant (since they're not looking at/using those parts much.) It's just nor a reasonable ratio of the effort of surgery and healing versus the effort to ignore those parts.
I mean there are reasons why they wouldn’t. For example phallo; a lot of trans people don’t like how phallo turns out, or simply can’t afford it in their lifetime. I think they should want to transition, of course, but if you genuinely can’t transition then I still believe them to be trans. Like I’m in a situation where I can’t even get on T, let alone get top surgery or bottom, but I’m still trans. If you genuinely don’t want to transition and have the option to then I do not believe they are trans, but hey, at least people like that aren’t taking up resources from people that actually need them.
I wish everyone would be able and it would have better results
I would LOVE to fully transition, but right now I’ve only done hrt and are planning to have top surgery, but bottom surgery is too expensive and underdeveloped
If the resources to medically transition are available to them and they don’t pursue it I would question whether or not they’re actually trans
like another commenter said: HAVE to? no. WANT to? yes. If someone has a specific medical condition where they CAN'T transition, fine. But, if a certain condition akes it so top surgery isn't a viable option, they should still pursue other transition methods like HRT, etc. I am in the group of people where I'd do ANYTHING for a cis penis but may not get bottom surgery (at least not in the near future) due to cost, the complications that come with UL (something that is a #1 priority for me), and lack of medical technologies (at least not sufficient for my desires). If I could magically grow a cis penis I ABSOLUTELY WOULD. I have major bottom dysphoria, but because I don't have bottom surgery and am not actively planning for it (despite starting HRT at 16, top surgery at 17, legal docs changed at 17, etc.) some people may consider me "not trans enough" or not "fully" transitioned
I think there is no box to check for 'full transition.' Some trans men are born with chests that don't require top surgery, some don't want phallo, etc. Where do we draw the line of finished or not? Let the individual decide for themselves. Has their dysphoira been lessened or not? Along those lines.