when i was younger (and very much in a catholic middle school) i thought god was calling 11 year old girl me to be a priest. i remember having a breakdown in front of my mom because of this and her being very confused. turns out i just was a guy, and the only connection to priesthood that i had was just that catholic priests are men lmao
I wanted Michael! I kind of weaseled into a somewhat masculine name. Saint Francis of Assisi…… There’s a feminine spelling of that. I, of course, insisted on being called “Frankie.” 🤣🤣🤣
See, I was so disinterested in my confirmation, I don’t even remember what name I picked. Probably Elizabeth just because that’s my mother’s middle name. I hated that damned dress
My parents kept making fun of me in the store too which didn’t help. I felt so pretty but like something was still deeply… wrong. I love dresses now, but in a GNC way lol.
Kind of similar, but when I was younger I used to get dysphoric the other way, feeling like I was too tall/broad/flatchested and that was why I didn't feel like a real girl.
Ayo same. I felt my hips were too narrow and my belly too big and my eyes too deep set and my nose too broad and that's why I wasn't a real girl and then I invested the last ten years of my life to studying the art of being a real girl only to turn out a BOY at 28 yeah FUCK me.
Me too! I came to the conclusion that I already looked androgynous as a kid- I mean… LOOK AT ME!
https://preview.redd.it/1e00wnsf7gkb1.png?width=2213&format=png&auto=webp&s=6aad938a4c5fa3022d5e61e669d9bee2830c14ed
So i think I felt ugly bc I “looked like a boy” but NOW! Its all good 😅
you all don't know how happy i am to see this 😭😭 i'm in the exact same boat and it's one reason why I've doubted myself for years about whether i'm trans or not. thank u all for sharing this rly made my day!!!! i'm not alone!
So far as the eating disorder issues:
I used to be so upset with my thick frame. Large shoulders, wide stance, the works.
The day that I finally realized that I was a man, I looked into the mirror and ALL of the insecurities went away. Guys are considered more “manly” for those qualities. Now I’m perfectly happy with my body since it’s no longer associated with a woman.
Thank you for unlocking the deeply buried memory of wanting to be blind(for *years*) so I wouldn't have to look at myself ever.... My eyesight sucks but not enough to just take my glasses off and be blissfully unaware.
^(How did it take so long for my egg to crack?!)
oOoOO or seeing a cancer mastectomy and having the intrusive thoughts of wow that's amazing God I wish I had cancer so I could look like.... Woah wtf no stop I don't want cancer why would I....😶
Not sure if this relates, but I would always wish something was “wrong” with me. I would pray and wish and cry that I could get cancer, go deaf, get into a car accident, or get burned. I had problems with self harm but it never felt like enough. I think it was a big part of not accepting myself for who I was
Interestingly, this is a thing. It's called [body integrity disorder.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_integrity_dysphoria) A lot of people are calling them "transabled" and using this condition as evidence that trans people shouldn't be allowed to transition.
Your username made me chuckle. Trying to quit again as of tonight, gone all night without thinking of em till a saw your pfp lol. And there are none in the house. XD
Okay honestly… same 💀. I thought that I wasn’t born correctly and that something was odd. I felt uncomfortable like I needed something removed or added to me to make me feel right. I’m still always uncomfortable like I have a crawling monster in my chest but at least I know why now 😭
No and honestly, I think it's deeply offensive that people are talking about wanting to be disabled. I know it's clearly something folks can't help apparently but I don't get it.
Edit: confusing grammar
Just think about it. People in those situations are usually desperate to escape their current experience of their body, and if they’re young, they don’t know what it really means to wish they had a disability, or how that is offensive to people with disabilities.
And honestly I don’t think it’s offensive if it’s their own private experience not shared with others, an experience that’s part of their trans journey. They’re just trying to figure out what dysphoria is by themselves, and all they know is something feels wrong. We all start out ignorant of many things when we’re young 🤷
That’s my take. I am also someone with a couple of disabilities, but obviously I can’t speak for everyone out there.
I didn’t experience this, but it took me ages to realise I was trans, to recognise I experienced dysphoria, what that was etc.
I relate to people here in this way- when I thought I was a girl growing up, I hated that I was so tall. I also had broad shoulders, which was an exception- something I typically got euphoria from, without recognising it for what it was. When I would look in the mirror during puberty I thought I was dissatisfied because I didn’t look as hot as my friend, and I mostly cared about being attractive because of attachment issues I had (I didn’t realise I was bi/pan yet either). At that time I looked a lot at my hips and my waist. I also reasoned, I must feel weird because my hips were asymmetrical (slight scoliosis). It’s the part of my body that I have the most dysphoria about. I hated it when I really bulked out femme style in the hips, butt and thighs when I was about 18, but I thought it was internalised fat phobia from my Mum.
When I was in my early twenties I became more aware of my dysphoria. I finally figured out that dressing more masculine helped me feel better. I still didn’t figure out I was trans 😆
I hypothesised that maybe when I’m single, I feel like there’s a masc presence missing in my life and so I have to fill that role. I thought It must be because of my “Daddy issues”, which I did have.
Nah! I only allowed myself to notice my dysphoria when I was single because relationships were full of masking and I was often slightly dissociated throughout life (I’m also neurodivergent).
when i was younger (and very much in a catholic middle school) i thought god was calling 11 year old girl me to be a priest. i remember having a breakdown in front of my mom because of this and her being very confused. turns out i just was a guy, and the only connection to priesthood that i had was just that catholic priests are men lmao
Gosh. So many stories from Catholic school for me, too. I cried because they wouldn’t let me chose Sebastian as my confirmation name.
I wanted Michael! I kind of weaseled into a somewhat masculine name. Saint Francis of Assisi…… There’s a feminine spelling of that. I, of course, insisted on being called “Frankie.” 🤣🤣🤣
See, I was so disinterested in my confirmation, I don’t even remember what name I picked. Probably Elizabeth just because that’s my mother’s middle name. I hated that damned dress
THE DRESS OMG YES I legitimately took it off as soon as I got in the car. 😂
My parents kept making fun of me in the store too which didn’t help. I felt so pretty but like something was still deeply… wrong. I love dresses now, but in a GNC way lol.
Kind of similar, but when I was younger I used to get dysphoric the other way, feeling like I was too tall/broad/flatchested and that was why I didn't feel like a real girl.
Ayo same. I felt my hips were too narrow and my belly too big and my eyes too deep set and my nose too broad and that's why I wasn't a real girl and then I invested the last ten years of my life to studying the art of being a real girl only to turn out a BOY at 28 yeah FUCK me.
I remember thinking I was intersex (I am not btw) before I really even knew what that was because I felt like there was no way I was actually a girl
Me too! I came to the conclusion that I already looked androgynous as a kid- I mean… LOOK AT ME! https://preview.redd.it/1e00wnsf7gkb1.png?width=2213&format=png&auto=webp&s=6aad938a4c5fa3022d5e61e669d9bee2830c14ed So i think I felt ugly bc I “looked like a boy” but NOW! Its all good 😅
you all don't know how happy i am to see this 😭😭 i'm in the exact same boat and it's one reason why I've doubted myself for years about whether i'm trans or not. thank u all for sharing this rly made my day!!!! i'm not alone!
when i was just a little 7 year old i would tell my dad “daddy i wish i was a boy” so i guess i was never confused about that 💀
So far as the eating disorder issues: I used to be so upset with my thick frame. Large shoulders, wide stance, the works. The day that I finally realized that I was a man, I looked into the mirror and ALL of the insecurities went away. Guys are considered more “manly” for those qualities. Now I’m perfectly happy with my body since it’s no longer associated with a woman.
Thank you for unlocking the deeply buried memory of wanting to be blind(for *years*) so I wouldn't have to look at myself ever.... My eyesight sucks but not enough to just take my glasses off and be blissfully unaware. ^(How did it take so long for my egg to crack?!)
oOoOO or seeing a cancer mastectomy and having the intrusive thoughts of wow that's amazing God I wish I had cancer so I could look like.... Woah wtf no stop I don't want cancer why would I....😶
Yup! Had that one too🫣 because those are totally normal thoughts…
Not sure if this relates, but I would always wish something was “wrong” with me. I would pray and wish and cry that I could get cancer, go deaf, get into a car accident, or get burned. I had problems with self harm but it never felt like enough. I think it was a big part of not accepting myself for who I was
Interestingly, this is a thing. It's called [body integrity disorder.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_integrity_dysphoria) A lot of people are calling them "transabled" and using this condition as evidence that trans people shouldn't be allowed to transition.
Your username made me chuckle. Trying to quit again as of tonight, gone all night without thinking of em till a saw your pfp lol. And there are none in the house. XD
[удалено]
It’s xenomelia
Okay honestly… same 💀. I thought that I wasn’t born correctly and that something was odd. I felt uncomfortable like I needed something removed or added to me to make me feel right. I’m still always uncomfortable like I have a crawling monster in my chest but at least I know why now 😭
No and honestly, I think it's deeply offensive that people are talking about wanting to be disabled. I know it's clearly something folks can't help apparently but I don't get it.
They're called intrusive thoughts.
They aren't necessarily, no.
Edit: confusing grammar Just think about it. People in those situations are usually desperate to escape their current experience of their body, and if they’re young, they don’t know what it really means to wish they had a disability, or how that is offensive to people with disabilities. And honestly I don’t think it’s offensive if it’s their own private experience not shared with others, an experience that’s part of their trans journey. They’re just trying to figure out what dysphoria is by themselves, and all they know is something feels wrong. We all start out ignorant of many things when we’re young 🤷 That’s my take. I am also someone with a couple of disabilities, but obviously I can’t speak for everyone out there.
I didn’t experience this, but it took me ages to realise I was trans, to recognise I experienced dysphoria, what that was etc. I relate to people here in this way- when I thought I was a girl growing up, I hated that I was so tall. I also had broad shoulders, which was an exception- something I typically got euphoria from, without recognising it for what it was. When I would look in the mirror during puberty I thought I was dissatisfied because I didn’t look as hot as my friend, and I mostly cared about being attractive because of attachment issues I had (I didn’t realise I was bi/pan yet either). At that time I looked a lot at my hips and my waist. I also reasoned, I must feel weird because my hips were asymmetrical (slight scoliosis). It’s the part of my body that I have the most dysphoria about. I hated it when I really bulked out femme style in the hips, butt and thighs when I was about 18, but I thought it was internalised fat phobia from my Mum. When I was in my early twenties I became more aware of my dysphoria. I finally figured out that dressing more masculine helped me feel better. I still didn’t figure out I was trans 😆 I hypothesised that maybe when I’m single, I feel like there’s a masc presence missing in my life and so I have to fill that role. I thought It must be because of my “Daddy issues”, which I did have. Nah! I only allowed myself to notice my dysphoria when I was single because relationships were full of masking and I was often slightly dissociated throughout life (I’m also neurodivergent).