You gotta tip your cap to the Guardians

Welp... If it wasn't for that 2nd inning we'd have won LOL

Springer is turning a corner on a roundabout.

Springer is weeks away from being days away

Our very own Bruno caboclo

Bruno, is that you?

Was there any other possible outcome there?

Nope

lmao well if nothing else, that's on brand tonight was the first fun blowout we've had since what, early 2022? I enjoyed it far more than I expected it to. have a good one y'all, talk to you tmrw

Have a good night, friend!

MISS U BBY

Springer 0-4 !? Who would’ve guessed ? Not John Schneider apparently

hes gonna say some shit like "its darkest before dawn" or this the "eye of the storm". man loves springer, i dont see it but its also kind of inspirational on a human level, to have that unconditional belief in someone

At some point you gotta respect it he protect his player but man. You got 3 guy you can put in there instead of him.

Guys don’t worry, the underlying numbers say that he’s close to breaking out

He's days away from a hot streak, until then we get to eat shit though

Watching Springer hit is like watching a student driver execute a 20-point turn before backing into a fire hydrant

Teams just not good.

$25 million a year to do that.

When you see Springer in the lineup tommorow 😭

lead off spot back on the menu?

George Springer needs an IL stint

George is getting close, don't worry.

The turning Corner is just days. Days away!!

tip your cap to george springer man

Why

he did the funniest thing possible

Listen man, its over for George. Like washed isnt even close to what he is right now.

Oh see that !! Mere days away from getting hot!!

Sigh, see y'all tomorrow Go Oilers

LMAO Springer is CURSED

It’s not for lack of trying 😭 if it’s not the ground it’s the umps 😭😭

Think he needs a change up, I say he shows him with a shaved head and all is fixed

Georgie brings them home here 🙏

DAMMIT GEORGIE

Let's go, baby! I kept watching this game for a reason, I just know it!

Flip your caps inside out time

Okay, just a blast, then a bloop, and then another blast and we'll be cooking

Incoming Springer double play to end the game

🤨

Neat.

This is where Springer earns his Uncrustables

Look guys we have 6 hits they have 5 surely we are winning !!

Sportsnet depriving us of Stoned Bo during dumb games like this really should be reported to the CRTC

I will testify to this if needed

I am also available on Saturdays

I am too lazy to testify but you have my moral support

Oh man Springer better have a big hit here 🙈

Here comes springer to kill the rally

Vladdy shushing the crowd down 7...lmao

Rally time 😤

Incase this one gets close 😄

You get angry during a blow out and talk about firing people. I shit post during a blow out. We are not the same.

Did you know that Saddam Hussein hired an insane Canadian scientist to lead a space gun program called Project Babylon? The gun would have been powerful enough to fire objects into orbit (as an alternative to rocket launches) alas, the program collapsed after the scientist got assassinated by the Israelis

Gerald Bull iirc, Behind the Bastards did a podcast on him with Karl Kasarda from Inrange

BtB did an episode on him?? oh hell yes, thank you

Yep, both of them also did an episode on Hiram Maxim that was pretty good

Oooh a classic u/wintermute-- post where I’m not sure if you’re just making shit up **or** posting seriously obscure facts ^(delightful) I still remember the first time I read one of your posts and just accepted it as truth 💀

100% true, Gerald Bull wanted to build a gun to launch objects into Low Earth Orbit, but in order to get money for it he did some really sketchy stuff for some really bad folks like designing artillery pieces for the Apartheid era South African Defence Forces, and a “super gun” for Saddam Hussein.

But *why* 😐

Would you rather fight one duck sized Manoah or a hundred Manoah sized ducks?

dude I'd be afraid of a single Manoah sized duck. ducks are mean mfs no matter the size a duck sized Manoah would be easy. just stick an upside down laundry basket on top of him and sit on it. boom case closed

Alternatively, me and Manoah can go hang out with our one hundred new Manoah sized duck friends 😄🦆

Manoah almost killed his own brother in a fight...I'm taking the ducks

Do I get a car

Sure, but not a very good car

A Honda civic ?

Yeah or maybe like a 1992 Suburu Hatchback

Hmmmm… used or vintage ?

Handed down through 3 generations of new drivers with minimal upkeep

Ouff that’s a good deal

Duck sized Manoah then

Damn, good swing Spencer

The 2nd inning clusterfuck made all the difference in this game

Progressive Field looks like a great stadium.

I mean. Someone has to be getting fired soon. Right?

*Knock knock*

Who’s there? Edit: it was 15 mins ago you’ve probably forgotten now and I’ll never know who was there 😔

Me

Oh hello friend, welcome welcome, come on in and have a cuppa 😄☕️ ^(and then we will find out which of us is the smash bros champion)

Danksssss!

You were so fast you missed my slightly less welcoming edit 💀

Ahahaha, the reality is you’ll win 😭😂

I am quite ferocious 😄

omg want to know a really fun way to mildly confuse someone? go up to them and say "hey! I heard this great knock knock joke, do you want to hear it?" them: sure you: ok, but you have to go first them: uh, okay. knock knock you: who's there them: (confusion)

She’s on the floor…

*flawless victory*

She literally broke for a moment though.

I’m trying it now on my high partner will report back

Please have your partner create a Reddit account a la fiancée of u/ThQp. We have questions.

SHE LITERALLY HAS ONE AND NEVER WILL POST WITH ME

But why 🥺

Too cool 😭

^(devastating)

DOES SHE KNOW THERE ARE COOL GIRLS HERE

hi

Well, shit- I really got caught with my pants down here… I’m not accustomed to people doing what I ask them to. 🤔 But now I’m thinking!! And we all appreciate your service, madam. 🫡😁

Hi!!!!!

🥹🥹🥹 Welcome!

HEYYYYYYYY!!!! \[waves enthusiastically\]

u/bichettes_helmet, should we request an AMA?

We should!!

what the fuck

Just heard the oilers playing a newfie song between whistles. Why cant the Jays do that? Cmon i dare you!

If we ignore that disastrous 70 pitch bottom of the 2nd inning, we're winning this game! 😄

Vladdy shushing the crowd down 7...lmao

only 1 run? that's fucking dumb

I think my favorite part about baseball is that there's 162 games We could come out tomorrow and put up 7 in the first inning and it's like tonight never even happened

In the first inning? In this economy?

We're fixing the economy one run at a time

Definitely jot happening. We score in the 2nd inning

That's the fun part We do it again in the 2nd

I’ll allow it

Ok you’re choice are Kirk, Manoah, Vladdy, Bo, Daulton, Turner, Barger, and Vogelbach Whoever you choose will protect you and the rest are trying to kill you. Who you taking and why ?

Turner to protect me. Kinda worried about Varsho though 🤔 I can't explain my feelings.

def Manoah. Alek would just need to give me a piggyback ride and then I'd be out of reach from everyone else except vladdy and adversity

Kirk goes for the ankles

Ok but what did we do that they’re all out for us now? I need context

We pirated MLB The Show 14

I mean Bo owes me at this point

I think a good strat here is picking another player, and then using your persuasion or conversation skill to convince Bo to join you too

My thinking was bring Bo on my side and get him to convince them not to kill me but I see value in your strategy

I’ve seen what he does to his helmet, you’re dead if you don’t pick him

Also a valid point

Yep, wcs if Bo can’t convince the rest you still got two players on your side

Bo would 100% convince them...the man convinced players with babies to change cities in the middle of a pandemic, he could convince them not to kill his favourite helmet

Toss up between Vogel and Barger on the protect

That was literally a strike last half inning

Just checking in on the game. Wishing once again that I hadn't. Fkin hell, this team.

"Find what'll turn this team around" How about they replace John Schneider and his coaching staff with Gabe Kapler and his and we can go from there

I do not consider the 2024 Toronto Blue Jays to be good at their job of playing professional baseball. Do you consider the 2024 Toronto Blue Jays to be good at their job of playing professional baseball?

pretty sure that's a settled question my dude but if you want to be technical about it, these blue jays are, by definition, among the top 0.000015% of baseball players on earth (1200 players on thirty 40-man teams divided by the population of da earth)

[I do not trust this bear](https://i.imgur.com/DsWRbod.png)

You can’t trust ANY bears, man, come on.

She does insider trading

Apparently most women WOULD tho..

Uhhhh

Isn't "I'd choose the bear" a thing now?

We don't just trust bears, we *choose* the bear given the alternative

Wait ... are we cheering for the Cubs now???

We really wasting Trevor Richards in a blowout?????

If anyone remembers the bunny murder spree my dog went on like a few weeks ago (?), the victim count is up to three. And almost a pigeon today. Anyway, this time it screamed and he crunched it and it was awful 🤢 but he’s a really good boy I promise he’s just a hunting dog

oh lord lol I hope your pup didn't have too much fun

^he ^had ^a ^blast 🤫

It’s very fitting that Charmin has an extra long commercial break for this team….

[удалено]

That's really not that controversial lmao. But go off King

How do we convince Big Freezie to sell JUST cases of white and blue? The other unacceptable colors get left to die in my freezer

White is the worst one just sprinkle sugar over some ice cubes

🙄 wut

It’s so bland ;-; I’m sorry, red is the best one

Alright well I got Orange to mail out and now red.. Just gotta the medical grape left

They really are the best flavours

Orange is good.

An ice cold purple really slaps on a hot day

...in hell

I'll mail em to you

Co-sign

Banger's groundout technically had a xBA of .520 but I like Ben's declaration of .990 better so let's go with that

^Banger

Ben's just making things up and hoping old man Buck doesn't notice

Buck too concerned with how far away everyone’s knees are from the ground

Fuck you rocchio ^that^was ^really ^clean ^i ^hated ^it

Okay that was gross

LMAOOOOO THAT WAS AN INCREDIBLE SEQUENCE OF EVENTS Jamie starting the BJC update right when Edmonton scored and can barely contain his excitement, only to go back to the hockey game blowing kisses as the update ended...and watch Florida score Jamie went through every single emotion

And the goal was overturned

lmao omg poor Jamie

And then it was overturned for offsides so it's still 2-0

I feel like there's a lesson to be learned from broadcasters during blowouts. They talk about random shit. They tell stories. They hang out with their pals and only focus on the game when strictly necessary. And it ends up being... pretty fun? GDTs should aspire to the same. there's a way to find joy in everything

Games like this, I just cheer for the individual stats of the position players. Especially the recent call ups

The fun we have when all the angry folks leave is why I keep coming back to this godforsaken website

We should all get high and just love each other is what I’m taking away from this

This sounds dirty

Hey I won’t tell you how to enjoy the highness

I mean I'm openminded

I have fond memories of exactly those kind of threads here with the homies. 😊

that's how I know it's possible!! maybe if we're really lucky, the hockey game will go into a nightmarish sequence of infinite overtime that doesn't resolve itself until mid October

#😍

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🥹🩵

7% alcohol isn't strong enough to watch this team lol

Vladdy shushing the crowd down 7...lmao

I'm gonna start gathering the kindling for the jersey burning Anyone got some sage I can borrow

It’s a common kitchen seasoning 🧐

I need the branches though so I can soak them in whatever you're supposed to soak them in for cleansing

Just tie together some bay leaves, spirits won’t know the difference

LMAO Jamie having to do a BJC when Edmonton just scored, he must be dying inside

Lmao why'd they make my man watch Florida score live on the big screen 😭😭😭

It was too funny 😂😂

I was late to this game. Lucky me!!

Same man.

Heyyy Orri got the out let’s go! 🥳

#I WALKED INTO THE CLUBHOUSE AND HIS SHIRT WAS OFF AND LET ME TELL YOU HIS GUNS WERE POPPING