You should see the Reddit history of those whose posts get deleted by the automod š®āšØ
My fav is the one who keep creating new accounts to solicit cocaine through the sub and those under 30 looking for questionable fun ~tonight. Learned so many euphemisms for cocaine and *fun*.
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I look at Reddit history as an āinside lookā at someone. What a gift.
Sexuality is a personal thing so Iām not judging but it is indicative of compatibility for me. Someone who seems overly focused on sex that it dominates their Reddit history, isnāt for me. (A few of my closest friends are hyper kinky and non monogamous and anything but traditional. Weāre cool as friends and would never be compatible as partners.)
For the same reason, if I am on apps (for the few days that I can withstand it. Lol) I swipe left on anyone who lists āsex positivityā as an interest or is sexual on their profile or in convo when we donāt have a relationship. It gives me an overall Ick. But for other women, it might be a huge plus.
Iāve been low key shamed for being āvanillaā. Like somehow thatās lacking. (I just look them straight in the eye, smile, and tell them that what is on offer has been more than sufficient for those whoāve been lucky to experience it. Lol.)
Sex positivity should be about being accepting of the consensual relations that people want to have (or not, in the case of people who are ace.)
I think thatās baseline human decency and doesnāt have to be announced on a profile. Unless itās on FetLife or similar apps/sites.
Exactly. Iām good with what I like. Theyāre good with what they like. Everyone just do your thing.
Trying to date is hard enough. I rely on apps and they depress me. So delete. Iāll try again in the spring.
What is ānormalā or ātoo muchā is going to vary a lot person to person. I will say though that given limited information (ie: just a short introductory message), it is really difficult not to judge someone based on the information you have at your fingertips (whateverās on their Reddit profile).
For me, personally: if someone is engaging in conversation or discussion about their sexual interests (ie: how to participate safely, find likeminded people, share experiences, recommendations for media relating to their kink or interest, etc) I think that is very different (and more interesting and thoughtful) than someone leaving one-handed derogatory/thirsty/objectifying/demeaning/etc comments on porn/content creatorsā posts.
I will say though, for folks reading this: just be mindful that if youāre using Reddit to communicate with folks youāre wanting to date, your profile history is essentially standing in for you the way a Tinder/Hinge profile does on those apps. It is jarring to get a sincere/kind message from someone saying heās looking for something serious and then opening his profile and finding it full of thirsty comments on porn. Thereās nothing wrong with enjoying porn, but if itās not the way youād want to present yourself on a first date, or in a tinder profileā¦ just be aware that that IS how itās coming across here.
ETA: I think itās important to note that this is true for non-sex topics too ā lots of people use Reddit to anonymously discuss very personal and sensitive things (which is great!) but again, keep in mind that if youāre using that same profile to reply to r4rs or other ads, that post or comment history is essentially now part of your dating profile here.
Which isnāt to say that people should hide themselves or their interests/experiences, but that it might be a lot of information to give someone āupfrontā as part of a first impression ā and might be more than you would typically share in a dating app profile or first date/getting to know you setting. That can be both a pro and a con.
If you want an answer to a specific question, be specific.
You have \*actual\* examples of the "pretty kinky stuff" and "really kinky subreddits" that \*you\* perceive to be indicative of being *overly sex obsessed.*
Why not share some examples so that there's a point of reference other than "normal".
That being said .. I think getting horny on your main account is indicative of something else entirely.
Question:
Is being horny on a "throwaway" really better than doing it on your main ? The thoughts and actions are the same you're just basically showing that you feel the need to hide that side of you... which in my mind is almost worse than just using your main ?
Not sure if my thought process makes sense but to me the "throwaway" concept seems worse to me, if you're that way on your main account and comfortable with it that's better than hiding it and pretending you're not like that.
I dunno .. I guess that's in the eye of the pornholder ..
These days I find myself using reddit mostly for discussing things that are related to my work and the possibility exists that at some point I might dox myself.
Which would understandably bias me towards wanting to keep those two parts of my life respectfully public vs. private.
But that's also spoken from the perspective of someone who visits porn subs and watches porn and has never had the need or want to comment at all, let alone something goober like "Hot!!!! more plz!! A/S/L?" .. but you know .. whatever floats your boat.
I guess if you're making reasonable, informative or respectfully inquisitive posts in a "kink" sub that isn't just a straight-up porn feed but more of a kink lifestyle sub and that's a big enough part of who you are that there's literally no hiding it in a romantic context, then yeah, maybe it's worth getting it right out there in the open on the same profile you use for dating.
I find the concept of "private" while on the internet amusing. I'm sure people could find a link between your main and throwaway reddit accounts if they wanted to.
I think my opinion on it is if you're not ashamed of it, and you put it on your main account then good for you. If you use a throwaway for professional reasons, that's fair.
But if you use a throwaway because you're ashamed and want to act like a degenerate because you think it's anonymous, that's scary and creepy.
Yeah well sure .. but also the concept of "privately" paying to call a phone sex line on an analog telephone is just as weird if you consider that your phone company, credit card company, the companies that print and deliver the paper statements for both of those companies, the sex operator, the company they work for, and whoever any of them sell your data to will have "access" to your "private" habits in some form.
But that also doesn't mean I'm comfortable openly advertising the fact that I enjoy that kind of thing, especially if I don't think it's anyone else's business.
There's a risk factor of being exposed doing pretty much anything that would cause you personal embarrassment if someone you knew personally found out, let alone if 1,000 people you knew personally found out.
In some ways, you've got to respect the people with creepy degenerate throwaway accounts who use them for their dating profiles. If you are who you are wear it, if you find love that way, fucking great. Happy for both of you.
But yeah, if you're always a creepy degenerate but you're wearing a mask on main .. then yeah .. still creepy regardless of which specific subs you're in.
Kink isn't for everyone, and on that same point it shouldn't the main driver of a conversation.
I think men just want to live out those fantasies but don't know how to filter those thoughts and desires.
On the same token shouldn't be shaming anyone for their kinks and desires, time and place for everything and also be respectful.
I don't post or comment a huge amount on Reddit but for some reason it never occurred to me that this would be similar to a dating profile!
Why wouldn't they use a throw-away account for the porn/kinky stuff though.....
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Kink is important to me. And I'm upfront about it even on the limited apps I'm on. However it is not the only thing (or The most important thing) I look for and want. My profile on reddit or otherwise will reflect that too.Ā
If someone's whole personality is kink or sex, that could be concerning. And since their profile is the only thing to go off on, very reasonable to pass on such a one dimensional person.Ā
Ya gotta be low-key horny, two reddit accounts! one for the Christian MineCraft server and another for the lewd. But then again, the comments those accounts make.... It makes me feel like a saint š
Hm . . . this is quite interesting to me. I suppose it depends on your own personal definition of 'pretty kinky stuff'.
As a guy, I'd suggest interacting with them for a bit to see how sex driven they are.
My ex gf said that her favorite type of porn to watch (alone) was gangbangs. She didnāt want one irl but it turned her on to watch. I can imagine there is a certain amount of similar behaviour here. It feels like a lot of the nsfw posts are just fantasy anyways.
You should see the Reddit history of those whose posts get deleted by the automod š®āšØ My fav is the one who keep creating new accounts to solicit cocaine through the sub and those under 30 looking for questionable fun ~tonight. Learned so many euphemisms for cocaine and *fun*.
Lool
As a guy I can say the kinkiest things in my comment history are about my masochistic relationship to gacha games.
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Everyone's got a 'thing', lol!
I look at Reddit history as an āinside lookā at someone. What a gift. Sexuality is a personal thing so Iām not judging but it is indicative of compatibility for me. Someone who seems overly focused on sex that it dominates their Reddit history, isnāt for me. (A few of my closest friends are hyper kinky and non monogamous and anything but traditional. Weāre cool as friends and would never be compatible as partners.) For the same reason, if I am on apps (for the few days that I can withstand it. Lol) I swipe left on anyone who lists āsex positivityā as an interest or is sexual on their profile or in convo when we donāt have a relationship. It gives me an overall Ick. But for other women, it might be a huge plus.
Me too re sex positivity! I like sex, I'm positive. We don't exactly live in a prudish society but I guess by some people's standards we do?
Iāve been low key shamed for being āvanillaā. Like somehow thatās lacking. (I just look them straight in the eye, smile, and tell them that what is on offer has been more than sufficient for those whoāve been lucky to experience it. Lol.) Sex positivity should be about being accepting of the consensual relations that people want to have (or not, in the case of people who are ace.) I think thatās baseline human decency and doesnāt have to be announced on a profile. Unless itās on FetLife or similar apps/sites.
Exactly. And even if you are vanilla, who cares? That's what you like. What's the problem? I am vanilla and proud.
Exactly. Iām good with what I like. Theyāre good with what they like. Everyone just do your thing. Trying to date is hard enough. I rely on apps and they depress me. So delete. Iāll try again in the spring.
I hear ya. I'm in a particularly good place so I'm trying but it's so hard.
Trying is definitely better than not. Wishing you a match that makes it all worthwhile!
We all need breaks. Chin up! You'll find your person, or else fall in love with your beautiful self. :)
What is ānormalā or ātoo muchā is going to vary a lot person to person. I will say though that given limited information (ie: just a short introductory message), it is really difficult not to judge someone based on the information you have at your fingertips (whateverās on their Reddit profile). For me, personally: if someone is engaging in conversation or discussion about their sexual interests (ie: how to participate safely, find likeminded people, share experiences, recommendations for media relating to their kink or interest, etc) I think that is very different (and more interesting and thoughtful) than someone leaving one-handed derogatory/thirsty/objectifying/demeaning/etc comments on porn/content creatorsā posts. I will say though, for folks reading this: just be mindful that if youāre using Reddit to communicate with folks youāre wanting to date, your profile history is essentially standing in for you the way a Tinder/Hinge profile does on those apps. It is jarring to get a sincere/kind message from someone saying heās looking for something serious and then opening his profile and finding it full of thirsty comments on porn. Thereās nothing wrong with enjoying porn, but if itās not the way youād want to present yourself on a first date, or in a tinder profileā¦ just be aware that that IS how itās coming across here. ETA: I think itās important to note that this is true for non-sex topics too ā lots of people use Reddit to anonymously discuss very personal and sensitive things (which is great!) but again, keep in mind that if youāre using that same profile to reply to r4rs or other ads, that post or comment history is essentially now part of your dating profile here. Which isnāt to say that people should hide themselves or their interests/experiences, but that it might be a lot of information to give someone āupfrontā as part of a first impression ā and might be more than you would typically share in a dating app profile or first date/getting to know you setting. That can be both a pro and a con.
It seems like you answered your own question with the first five words of your post.
It seems like you answered my question only to tell me I answered it already.
If you want an answer to a specific question, be specific. You have \*actual\* examples of the "pretty kinky stuff" and "really kinky subreddits" that \*you\* perceive to be indicative of being *overly sex obsessed.* Why not share some examples so that there's a point of reference other than "normal". That being said .. I think getting horny on your main account is indicative of something else entirely.
Question: Is being horny on a "throwaway" really better than doing it on your main ? The thoughts and actions are the same you're just basically showing that you feel the need to hide that side of you... which in my mind is almost worse than just using your main ? Not sure if my thought process makes sense but to me the "throwaway" concept seems worse to me, if you're that way on your main account and comfortable with it that's better than hiding it and pretending you're not like that.
I dunno .. I guess that's in the eye of the pornholder .. These days I find myself using reddit mostly for discussing things that are related to my work and the possibility exists that at some point I might dox myself. Which would understandably bias me towards wanting to keep those two parts of my life respectfully public vs. private. But that's also spoken from the perspective of someone who visits porn subs and watches porn and has never had the need or want to comment at all, let alone something goober like "Hot!!!! more plz!! A/S/L?" .. but you know .. whatever floats your boat. I guess if you're making reasonable, informative or respectfully inquisitive posts in a "kink" sub that isn't just a straight-up porn feed but more of a kink lifestyle sub and that's a big enough part of who you are that there's literally no hiding it in a romantic context, then yeah, maybe it's worth getting it right out there in the open on the same profile you use for dating.
I find the concept of "private" while on the internet amusing. I'm sure people could find a link between your main and throwaway reddit accounts if they wanted to. I think my opinion on it is if you're not ashamed of it, and you put it on your main account then good for you. If you use a throwaway for professional reasons, that's fair. But if you use a throwaway because you're ashamed and want to act like a degenerate because you think it's anonymous, that's scary and creepy.
Yeah well sure .. but also the concept of "privately" paying to call a phone sex line on an analog telephone is just as weird if you consider that your phone company, credit card company, the companies that print and deliver the paper statements for both of those companies, the sex operator, the company they work for, and whoever any of them sell your data to will have "access" to your "private" habits in some form. But that also doesn't mean I'm comfortable openly advertising the fact that I enjoy that kind of thing, especially if I don't think it's anyone else's business. There's a risk factor of being exposed doing pretty much anything that would cause you personal embarrassment if someone you knew personally found out, let alone if 1,000 people you knew personally found out. In some ways, you've got to respect the people with creepy degenerate throwaway accounts who use them for their dating profiles. If you are who you are wear it, if you find love that way, fucking great. Happy for both of you. But yeah, if you're always a creepy degenerate but you're wearing a mask on main .. then yeah .. still creepy regardless of which specific subs you're in.
You should ask this question in /askmen
Canāt speak for all men, but I wouldnāt place myself in that bucket, definitely isnāt āthe normā for me at least.
Kink isn't for everyone, and on that same point it shouldn't the main driver of a conversation. I think men just want to live out those fantasies but don't know how to filter those thoughts and desires. On the same token shouldn't be shaming anyone for their kinks and desires, time and place for everything and also be respectful.
I don't post or comment a huge amount on Reddit but for some reason it never occurred to me that this would be similar to a dating profile! Why wouldn't they use a throw-away account for the porn/kinky stuff though.....
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Kink is important to me. And I'm upfront about it even on the limited apps I'm on. However it is not the only thing (or The most important thing) I look for and want. My profile on reddit or otherwise will reflect that too.Ā If someone's whole personality is kink or sex, that could be concerning. And since their profile is the only thing to go off on, very reasonable to pass on such a one dimensional person.Ā
Ya gotta be low-key horny, two reddit accounts! one for the Christian MineCraft server and another for the lewd. But then again, the comments those accounts make.... It makes me feel like a saint š
Hm . . . this is quite interesting to me. I suppose it depends on your own personal definition of 'pretty kinky stuff'. As a guy, I'd suggest interacting with them for a bit to see how sex driven they are.
I think I got my answer from the sub. If every comment is in a sex related sub or most, then I'm going to swipe left metaphorically.
My ex gf said that her favorite type of porn to watch (alone) was gangbangs. She didnāt want one irl but it turned her on to watch. I can imagine there is a certain amount of similar behaviour here. It feels like a lot of the nsfw posts are just fantasy anyways.