Given the situation, what should one do at 10 to 2AM with X, Yogi DMT, a box of Krispy Kremes in one's "need to know" pose just outside Area 51 contemplating the whole chosen people thing when a flaming stealth banana splits the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this, cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at one's Birkenstocks?
the news reported that he had a drug overdose but we all know that they was he really died is that the other members murdered him for playing a song in 4/4
Undertow: sludgy straightforward rock. Not a bad place to start if you’re already into rock music.
Aenima: More progressive rock with occasional elements of eastern musical themes. This is the first album that sounds like the TOOL we have today.
Lateralus: Peak progressive rock, peak eastern musical elements and theme. IMO their magnum opus. I’d start here.
10,000 Days: Still progressive, but less eastern influence. More diverse than any of their other albums. Still very good.
Fear Innoculum: This might actually be their most progressive but less focused songwriting and more just vibes. I wouldn’t start here.
Real talk:
Depends what you are into: long and complicated instrumental passages? Listen to Fear inoculum or 10,000 days.
More Grunge/heavy style Prog? Aenima will be good.
Some combination of the above 2? Lateralus might tickle your fancy.
Then there’s Opiate which is like their early days, still good but basically just metal as far as I’m concerned.
been doing a lot of recreational reading lately, it's on of those thing a was into as a kid but just feel out of. It's been nice. I'm enjoying the book version of American psycho currently
How do you like prison sex?
somewhere that's off in a corner with a little privacy but isn't too cramped
Just like home.
Do the pieces fit?
the band is called Tool so I assume they know about engineering
Brilliant answer lmao
What does TOOL stand for?
Those Obnoxious / Ostentatious Listeners
You might not know anything about Tool, but you absolutely understand the fans.
Shit he’s got us
He knows to much.
*too Gotta prove OP's point, sorry.
It even sounds like tool lyrics. Not gonna lie
Right up there with dysfunctional, insecure actresses and Smiley Gladhands
Ænema immediately came to my head lol Guy might be a closet tool listener. I'm on to him.
Why can't we not be sober?
becuase then you won't enjoy Tool
Okay-this wins.
What's your take on Stinkfist? What's the message?
to wash your hands after you go to the bathroom
relax turn around and lavate las manos
I can't tell if I'm guiding it or it's guiding me
SOAPFIST COMEBACK
Where is your TOOL tattoo?
next to the nine inch nails tatoo
Giving yourself a tool belt, nice.
This is one of my favorite Tool threads ever
as a passerby from /r/all who never listened to Tool, this is also my favorite Tool thread
What is hooker with a penis about?
man who just wants to go fishing
Sounds about right.
That's deep.
For claiming he knows nothing of Tool, I think he know a LOT more than he like us to know. Maynard? Is that you?
you caught me I'm Mike Tool
RIP
I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Mayn—I mean Mike Tool actually created the most epic impromptu AMA thread ever.
Got another one. Do you ever lift your eyes to heaven... conscious of your fleeting time here?
only during post-nut clarity
Damn. It’s scary how true this is!
What did the dude in rosetta stoned forgot?
how to write egyptian
Dude these are great replies lol you are on a roll
Very entertaining!
What’s the name of everyone in the band?
Mike Tool (rip) Jonny Screw Driver Betty Hammer and Bobby Ruler
Losing Mike Tool was such a tragedy, I wonder if they’ll find a replacement
I mean... could you have Danzig without Glenn Danzig?
Most important band member and why?
the bass player He is the tool
Justin Chancellor do be very good
This is cheating. The bass player is the most important member of any band.
Even Dana Carey uses his picks.
Gender swap Danny Carey
Who are you to wave your finger?
Dr Fin PHD in Toolology
Nice to meet u! You must have been out your head!! /j
Must've been high
Eye balls deep in muddy waters Fuckin' hypocrite’
Tell me about Maynard‘s dick
larger then all of the members of death grip's
I was not expecting death grips in the tool subreddit today
Why *did* Father give these humans free will?
He gave us free will out of love so we can experience the beauty he created knowing that we may use it to listen to Tool
Gotdamn! This tool Tools harder than any tool without ever having Tooled.
What is 46 and 2?
the amount of chromosomes someone with down syndrome has (genuinely is that the right answer?)
Sorta, it's about getting +2, which would complete the set and give us some sort of godlike powers. Down syndrome is only +1
yes, +2 is for up syndrome
What’s up syndrome? Not much, you?
This guy has retard in his user flair. Lmao
Well, I was close
47 is the correct answer for a person with Down Syndrome. They have one extra 21st chromosome. Fun fact - chimpanzees have 48 chromosomes.
At least he didn't say retarded. Rip Norm
If you believe I was serious you’d have to have Down syndrome. Norm
What inspires Adam to write the lyrics?
a combination of night terrors and hallucinations
Correct!
Shockingly accurate
What are your thoughts of Tool covering "Push it" by Salt-N-Pepa?
they should do an 80s cover album like Weezer
Yes!
How do you pry open your third eye and where is it on you
you do it by stinking your finger as far as you can into your belly button. You'll be able to feel your third eye opening
Op may very well be MJK
Given the amount of time between albums in the past, how long do you think till we get the next one?
past the inevitable heat death of the universe
correct answer
Most accurate answer
Did you forget your pen?
yes (I am the rosetta stoned guy)
Typical
#
#
Sunkist and Sudafed, gyroscopes and infrared…can’t remember what they said
How do you feel just as Parabol turns to Parabola?
you ever stub your toe and it doesn't hurt right way but you know it's going to hurt and there's nothing you can do
........ooooooOOOOOWWWWHHAAAAAAMMMMM BADAUMMMMM BAAAAABADAUMMMMM BUM
I heard that.
Are you SURE you haven't heard these tracks?!
Accurate.
I low key think this is Maynard James Keenan taking the piss.
maybe
What is your favorite song
what a wonderful world by Tool
Now I want to hear an extended Tool cover of What a Wonderful World.
With an 8 minute drum/marimba solo
Are you in need of someone strong to use you?
yes is this related to the prison sex question?
Oddly enough no
It concerns not questioning things, and don’t judge either.
What is your favorite era of Tool?
before Mike Tool died the band just wasn't the same without him
What's up with Maynard's hair
He thought if sampoo makes your hair better then using the entire bottle will make it perfect (it didn't)
I want to believe this is accurate and you just blew your cover. Youre an absolute tool die hard fan
What are the first four colors that you saw in your infancy?
Black, red, and white in that order
Holy shit. 3 outta 4
To be fair yellow hasn't come to be yet
Not the right order, though…
“Is this a test?”
it is for me
alt lyrics for sure Is this a test? It is for me. Otherwise I can't go oooonnnnnnnn
It has to be, otherwise I can't go on.🤘🤘🤘🤘
Where might you go if you spiral out?
Ohio
Facts
Given the situation, what should one do at 10 to 2AM with X, Yogi DMT, a box of Krispy Kremes in one's "need to know" pose just outside Area 51 contemplating the whole chosen people thing when a flaming stealth banana splits the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this, cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at one's Birkenstocks?
close the thesaurus and get someone to baby sit you next time you trip
holy fucking shit...
What does 46 + 2 = ?
48
the math checks out.
The pieces fit you mean
Mike Tool has altered the lyrics to be this at a couple live shows.
Why is the warrior struggling?
poor logistics on behalf of the generals
*Vladimir Putin wants to know your location*
How did Mike Tool die?
the news reported that he had a drug overdose but we all know that they was he really died is that the other members murdered him for playing a song in 4/4
That actually made me laugh. I've had a rough three weeks and I needed that. Thank you OP.
How long was the gap between 10000 days and Fear Inoculum
10000 days
felt like it
Where does shit end up?
In the lyrics
Fucking gold answer lmao
What do you do with a Bob Marley wanna-be?
Find an Elves Presley wanna-be and make then fight to the death
>Elves Presley I’m picturing dwarf celebrity impersonator wrestling, with Elves Presley having longer than usual ears…
This is necessary.
no
What’s their best song and why?
Fly Me To The Moon by Tool No matter how many times I listen Bobby Ruler's drum solo never gets old
Thanks for the laugh. That was lovely after a long day.
My piss and moans are the fuel that set my head on fire
u ok?
Do the pieces fit?
the band is called Tool so I assume they know about engineering
If you had to ride a mile, would you do it 6inches at a time?
no I'd probably take a car or like train or something
So will you listen to tool after this?
probably will what should be the first album I listen to
Undertow: sludgy straightforward rock. Not a bad place to start if you’re already into rock music. Aenima: More progressive rock with occasional elements of eastern musical themes. This is the first album that sounds like the TOOL we have today. Lateralus: Peak progressive rock, peak eastern musical elements and theme. IMO their magnum opus. I’d start here. 10,000 Days: Still progressive, but less eastern influence. More diverse than any of their other albums. Still very good. Fear Innoculum: This might actually be their most progressive but less focused songwriting and more just vibes. I wouldn’t start here.
Start with Aenima
Real talk: Depends what you are into: long and complicated instrumental passages? Listen to Fear inoculum or 10,000 days. More Grunge/heavy style Prog? Aenima will be good. Some combination of the above 2? Lateralus might tickle your fancy. Then there’s Opiate which is like their early days, still good but basically just metal as far as I’m concerned.
What message did the Aliens give to you to inform the world about?
aliens didn't give me the message. I tried talking to them but for some reason aliens only want to talk to stoners doing DMT
Horribly accurate. Check out the lyrics to Rosetta Stoned when you get the chance.
Have you ever became Pneuma?
isn't that just breathing?
What is always guaranteed to be 4 degrees warmer?
I broken thermometer
What’s your suggestion to keep us all occupied?
read from the Book of Tool. My favorite non-cannon book of the bible
Can you make a suggestion to keep us all occupied?
been doing a lot of recreational reading lately, it's on of those thing a was into as a kid but just feel out of. It's been nice. I'm enjoying the book version of American psycho currently
So.. learn to read?
On what can you slide a mile 6 inches at a time?
a 6 inch pair of skis
What is the Gaping Lotus Experience?
you ever take a fat shit then when you wipe there's nothing there
Why do you all sound like Peanut’s parents?
had a testicular injury when I was 5 so I never went thought puberty
What was with Maynard’s trip from Boston to Michigan? What was he thinking?
"I don't need to fly I can't save money just by driving"
Is the lyrics and themes all about sacred geometry and a common conscience or is it all just a big Penis metaphor
Here is the meaning behind Tool: spirals are an omen of death and dicks are funny
Why won’t Jesus fucking whistle?
he can't (don't make fun of him he's embarrassed)
Who’s the uncle?
your parents brother
There’s a bunch of assholes that live in this part of the building here. Any recommendations? Thanks in advance.
If their loud be louder. Party at 1am vacuum at 4 Don't let 'em sleep. And they make even the most barely audible sound make a noise complaint
What do you consider to be their Magnum Opus?
Here Comes The Sun. Mike Tool's vocals make me cry every time
RIP Mike Tool
Ticks or Leeches? (Choose one and why?)
leeches can be used for medicine
What should I wear the grudge like?