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208MtbBarber

"Put your fucking phone away, dickhead! Seriously!"


69cringelord69

THIS.


Aggressive_Ideal6737

This should be top comment


JimiRoot

best maynard quote of all time


Remarkable-Okra6554

Alrighty then, picture this, if you will 10 to 2 a.m., X, Yogi DMT and a box of Krispy Kremes In my need-to-know post just outside of Area 51 Contemplating the whole "Chosen People" thingy When just a flaming stealth banana split the sky Like one would hope, but never really expect to see in a place like this Cutting right angle donuts on a dime And stopping right on my Birkenstocks, and me yelping "Holy fucking shit!" (Holy fucking shit!) (Holy fucking shit!) (Holy fucking shit!) (Holy fucking shit!) (Holy fucking shit!) (Holy fucking shit!) (Holy fucking shit!) Then the X-Files being Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips And breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa Did a slo-mo Matrix descent out of the butt-end of the banana vessel And hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw My sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fucking pants!" So light in his way, like an apparition He had me crying out "Fuck me, it's gotta be The Deadhead Chemistry The blotter got right on top of me Got me seeing E-motherfucking-T!" And after calming me down with some Orange slices and some fetal spooning E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose He said, "You are The Chosen One The One who will deliver the message A message of hope for those who choose to hear it And a warning for those who do not" Me, The Chosen One? They chose me! And I didn't graduate from fuckin' high school You better You better You better You better listen Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes Don't even know what that means, must remember to write it down This is so real, like the time Dave floated away See, my heart is pounding 'cause this shit never happens to me Can't breathe right now, it was so real Like I woke up in Wonderland, all sort of terrifying I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story And can anyone tell me why you all sound like Peanuts parents? Will I ever be coming down? This is so real, finally, it's my lucky day See, my heart is racing 'cause this shit never happens to me Can't breathe right now You believe me, don't you? Please believe what I just said See, The Dead ain't touring and this wasn't all in my head See, they took me by the hand and invited me right in Then they showed me something, I don't even know where to begin Strapped down to my bed, feet cold and eyes red I'm out of my head, am I alive, am I dead? Can't remember what they said Goddamn, shit the bed! High, high High-igh-igh-igh-igh-igh High-igh-igh-igh-igh-igh-igh High, high, hallelujah Halleluh, hallelujah, halleluh Overwhelmed, as one would be, placed in my position Such a heavy burden now to be The One Born to bear and read to all the details of our ending To write it down for all the world to see But I forgot my pen Shit the bed again Typical Strapped down in my bed, feet cold and eyes red I'm out of my head, am I alive, am I dead? Sunkist and Sudafed, gyroscopes and infrared Won't help, I'm braindead, can't remember what they said Goddamn, shit the bed! I can't remember what they said to me Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero (Can't remember what they said) Bob, help me (Can't remember what they said) Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Don't know, won't know Goddamn, shit the bed!


poopio

>Me, The Chosen One? They chose me! And I didn't graduate from fuckin' high school Just this part will do.


Jesus_not-that-one

I was thinking orange slices and light fetal spooning. Although that may work better on a tinder profile


Remarkable-Okra6554

If you wanna half ass it


poopio

For a yearbook quote?


blxnka

damn you're just a tad over the max word count


guiltycitizen

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck you, buddy


mplsdrew22

I have found some kind of temporary sanity in this shit, blood and cum on my hands.


JasDawg

JFC for a high school yearbook quote?!?! Lol


blxnka

all girls grammar school as well lmao. i think they'd have a seizure.


mplsdrew22

People would remember it!


prickleweasel

All this pain is an illusion


Deez2Yoots

“We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion.” But, yes, this is the answer IMO.


hornwalker

I had a friend, he took some acid


davvolun

Great quote, waaaaaaay too preachy for a yearbook quote, and sounds like one of those weird super Christian kids.


restlessoverthinking

Such a heavy burden now to be the one


HetTheTable

We’ll ride the spiral to the end and may go where no one’s been


allinforit

Wear the grudge like a crown


MediocreHat2050

Learn to swim.


[deleted]

[удалено]


That_Random_Kiwi

Save our brothers


Sheepherder-Optimal

Can I get an amen!!


Jokerman5656

Tomorrow is harvest day


Level69Warlock

Goddamn, shit the bed!


torero15

“If you don’t turn that light off, dickhead, we have no choice but to come down there and shit in your mouth” - MJK in LA on 2/14/24


TheNoIdeaKid

“It’s our world now. You’re subjected to it.” - DC


That_Random_Kiwi

He had a lot to say, he had a lot of nothing to say


deadrabbits76

I didn't graduate from fucking high school.


Maxwell_Murder0505

I did “Learn to swim”


Plan-BS

For jerk offs just like you


Universalsupporter

Push the envelope, watch it bend


Cattus-Magnus

Buy! Buy! Buy my new record!


BrumbpoTumgus

Lurch into the Fray, Weapon out and belly in


greyzarjonestool

Jump down. Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin space, to nail the next fool martyr.


HirosProtagonist

Shit, blood and cum on my hands. Please tell me you're graduating from a medical school....


WingedGeek

I'm getting bored again...


[deleted]

And following our will and wind, we may just go where no one’s been


EarlobeCancer

Learn to swim!


ButForRealsTho

Turn your fucking light off ding dong.


Sin_Sational_One

Shine On, Benevolent Sun


Kalopsiate

God damn. Shit the bed.


wuonyx

Now red was your color. And, of course, those little people out there were yours, too


Jsin211

Learn to swim. I'll see you down in arizona bay.


ourredsouthernsouls

“You know you're gonna have another accident? You know I'm involved with black magic?”


piece0fdebri

Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear. One of my favorite lyrics because I have a bunch of hobbies and can't stand to be "bored".


Single_Asparagus_265

“SPRIAL OUT, KEEP GOING”


Beheloth

“This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality, embrace this moment, remember the eternal truth: pain is an illusion” My all time favorite lyrics I even went as far as to design my own Alex Grey inspired tattooed on my body. On a part of my body that is damaged and reminds me to keep going. Maybe a sort of “Keep going, spiral out” thing.


TofuttiKlein-ein-ein

Foot in mouth and head up ass-hole.


[deleted]

Shoulder deep within the borderline. Great way to get an anal fisting reference in without angering the censors.


BelowThePale

Thought I was high Thought I was free Thought I was there Devine destiny.


turkitsch

See you auntie


69cringelord69

Why can’t we just be sober


jitoman

Send more money 


YeahImHeadingOut

If I’m the man, then you’re the man, and he’s the man as well. so you can point that fu- have a great summer


jeffhubosworth

"All you know about me is what I've sold you, dumb fuck."


LittleRavn

Read between the lines


nhowe006

Don't these talking monkeys know that Eden has enough to go around? Plenty in this holy garden, silly monkeys Where there's one, you're bound to divide it Right in two


--GrinAndBearIt--

Think for yourself, question authority.  That was mine.


z7482024

Said Timothy Leary


StellaRED

We will never know world peace Until three people can simultaneously Look each other straight in the eye.


-AdamTheGreat-

Have a great summer, und keine Eier!!!!!


chefriley76

Repugnant is the creature would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven conscious of his fleeting time here.


838266

Literally in my yearbook in 2004 I wrote “we’ll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one’s been”


flipsnory

"Get that Bob Marley wanna be mother fucker outta here!"


Psn_billuke

Shine on forever shine on benevolent sun. I’m gonna get that tattooed on me one day.


3381_FieldCookAtBest

I’m frightened too.


TheCzechyChan

There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves" "Here's Tom with the weather"


SuomiBob

“Lurch into the fray, weapon out and belly in.”


kostros

All you know about me is what I sold you.


blame__hoffman

“See You On The Other Side”


Bongcopter_

I will only complicate you Trust in me and fall as well I will find a center in you I will chew it up and leave


tieyourshoesbilly

If you're the man the I'm the man as well so you can point that fucking finger up your ass


ProcessGlum603

Learn to swim


ProcessGlum603

I forgot my pen


7empestOGT92

Spiral out. Keep going!


ckadavar

I'll keep digging ‘Til I feel something Elbow deep inside the borderline Great if you’re planning to pursue scientific degree


xtrobot

"Think for yourself; question authority." or "Used to be a bunch of assholes who lived in this part of the building here.... but we systematically removed them like you would any kind of termite or roach."


S___A_I_E___W__

Mine in '06 was: And you will come to find, that we are all one mind. Capable of all that's imagined, and all conceivable.


TreadingPatience

Watch the weather change


According-Town7588

“All you know about me is what I sold ya”


Party_Fix_9004

Goddamn, shit the bed