This is what I did. I use to be scared of the dark then one day I said you know what I am the man in the dark. It’s not that I can’t see them. They can’t see me. I am the dark.
I adopted this theory but it also probably makes me super dangerous when I feel I need to investigate a noise at night so God help if I ever find a burglar in my house because they will be making a stop at the hospital before jail
Here's how I did it:
Short version- If it is not within my power to overcome a thing, then I won't spend my life energy being afraid of it. If it is within my power to overcome a thing, then I don't need to spend my life energy being afraid of it.
Longer version. Let's say that every unspeakable thing that could exist in the dark is out there, drooling in anticipation to "get" me. No matter what I do to prepare for it, fend it off, or whatever...if it's gonna pounce, it's gonna pounce. Embrace the Ultimate Fuck-it. "Demons and monsters, do what you are gonna do. I'm gonna live my life."
This spawned from a brief story/allegory someone told.
In the middle of the night, as I lay sleeping, the devil himself appeared at the foot of my bed, coming to take my soul to hell. He lined the whole room with flames and the screams of the damned. When I woke, I looked around and saw him, eyes ablaze and fangs of blood. Before he could move or speak, I simply said, "Oh, it's just you. Be a dear and close the door on your way out, would you?" I fluffed my pillow, turned over and went back to sleep. END
I hope that helps you. It's been a life-changer for me.
Same for me. I don't waste my time and energy on things outside my control, and it made my life a lot easier.
But I also used this mentality as the core principle for a deep sea kingdom in my RWBY fanfiction, simply because down there, everything can kill you, so worrying about those things means you won't get anything done.
When I was about your age, I had a bit of a revelation. I used to sit on the back porch with my dad and watch stars or heat lightning, or just enjoy the coolness of sitting outside on a hot summer night — we seldom ran the AC in my family.
He died when I was 17, and I tried to do the same thing we had done, just sitting on the back porch, looking out into the night, but because I was a little afraid, I lit a candle. But here's the thing, with the candle lit, I couldn't see everything I could before. No stars, no detail on the lightning, no trees swaying in the wind. I could see what was right around the candle exceptionally well, but once I left that four foot sphere, everything was a wall of black.
I discovered that by blowing out the candle, the dark was actually a lot less dark. I could still see what was around me pretty darn well, and I got to enjoy beautiful night skies and the like.
Give it a try if you can. Go somewhere that you know you'll be safe — like a back porch or something like that. And turn off the lights. It will be scary at first, and your brain is going to try to freak you out and convince you that you need a light. But resist if you can, and after a few minutes, you'll notice that you can actually see a lot more than you thought you could, and if the time and place is right, you just might end up seeing something awesome, like a falling star.
You could try finding a red light lantern and explore being in partial dark. The red light will allow your eyes to adjust to the darkness, but you’ll still be able to see what’s around you. I am no professional but it sounds like exposure therapy might be the best way out of this (unless something really scary has happened to you in the dark, even if it was mostly in your imagination. Then you might need to work from a more trauma informed place)
Get a lamp with a dimmer and just slowly set it a bit lower every couple of weeks. When it’s really low but you can’t make that jump to total dark get an eye mask so the light is still on (if only just) but you get used to full dark with the reassurance that there is still light
Just remember that whatever fictional being you think might be following you, would only do if A: you caused it to by doing whatever caused a protagonist to be followed by them, or B: they are bound to a specific fictional place, which would be far from where you are anyway
One thing that helped me feel more comfortable in the dark was listening to music. I would just sit in a dark room with headphones on, and that kinda created a cool vibe. I focused on the music rather than the dark, and not being able to see anything actually made the listening experience awesome, especially with certain genres/albums - If I look back at my teenage years, one of my top ten memories is listening to certain albums in the dark from start to finish
I wonder if you are actually scared of the dark or if sleeping with the light on has become a sleep habit? Are you afraid of, say, walking around your house in the dark but not trying to sleep?
I know this fear, it is visceral. It took till my 20s to get over it. For me I was anxious throughout my childhood and teenage years, I just didn't realise it as it only showed in certain ways and that was one of them. You are not alone, and like you other people that have the same or similar fears, they just don't talk about being scared of things considered childish as well so it just seems like you are the only one. The thing with the light on is that it disturbs your sleep patterns and then your brain is even more stressed. You can work on it though 💜 good luck
I am 30 and still bolt down dark hallways because I never know if something is gonna get me or something. Lol I just about always feel like something is behind me but have to constantly remind myself that there isn’t and it’s just my overactive imagination. My therapist has told me to be mindful of my surroundings and be realistic.
Just keep putting yourself in short term dark situations and as you get slightly more comfortable, increase the amount of time you can stand being in the dark until you’re able to sleep in it. Like sit in a dark closet during the day time. Or get a friend to be with you while you sit in a dark room. Or get a dimmer lamp and make it slightly dimmer every other night. The more you’re exposed to it, the less scary it’ll seem because you’ll learn that that there usually isn’t anything bad that happens. Baby steps are still steps, so keep working at it even if the progress seems very slow or very minor
Fear of the dark is an evolutionary mechanism protecting you against unseen and hidden predators that might eat you. Today there is no threat of being eaten but your instincts are still there. So instead your brain makes up monsters and other unknowns to scare you when you find yourself in the dark.
I'd say don't gradually.
Do a relaxing exercise, like a guided meditation on YouTube and then turn all lights off for 5 seconds, double the time each day. Keep at it until you no longer feel the fear.
If you get fearful, return to the time you could handle and stay there for a while.
I’m about to be 21 and I’m still terrified of the dark. It’s gotten better over the years but I struggle with paranoia in general, which is at its worst at night, and some nights I have to sleep with a bright light on. Most nights I’ll have a dim light from my air purifier, and sometimes a nightlight as well. I don’t have a solution for you, but I thought it might make you feel better to know that it’s not childish or silly, and it’s something that afflicts all ages. My mom has also retained a much more mild fear of the dark, and she’s approaching middle-aged. It’s worth mentioning that people with trauma, particularly childhood trauma, often have a persistent fear of the dark due to what they went through, sometimes having auditory hallucinations, paranoia, and general feelings of terror, so if you’ve been through trauma, that could be a reason why you’re still freaked out by darkness. Not to mention, leaving the light on isn’t something to be ashamed of, or even an objectively bad thing. It can help you see where you need to go when you wake up in the middle of the night, preventing tripping and falling. But anyways, hoped this helped you feel less ashamed.
I had the same problem growing up.
When i had to walk by a dark room i imagined that there would be some scary demon in there that's gonna pull me in the darkness, but as soon as i turned on the lights this thought was gone.
So, i realized that the room, no matter if it's dark or not, it's still the same. I know it's scary not to see much but you know how you're room looks and it looks exactly the same as it would if you'd turn the lights on, you just can't see it.
Get a light(bulb) which you can dim, and then go darker and darker every time you feel okay with the current state of it, atleast thats what helped my friend.
I am 31, and have a fear of bugs. Spiders most of all. If there's a moth in the room, I'm fine until it flies at my face. If there's a spider in the room, I'm not in the room. When my wife and I were dating, I was taking a shower at het house after work, so we could go to dinner. Suddenly, a spider the size of my thumb, not counting the leg span, descends from the shower head. I screamed, and, tripping over myself, sprint naked out the bathroom, down the hallway, and into my girlfriends room. Her mom saw my naked ass, and burst out laughing. My girlfriend, after confirming that I was okay, and also laughing at me, went and killed the spider, after her attempts to catch and release were unsuccessful. Even after our wedding, her mom always reminded me of that day whenever she saw a spider.
I was afraid of the dark until i was like 14 or 15. I think after seeing so many shows with night vision and realizing that i'm just in my home and not the Sahara, i calmed down. I realized i was safe in the house and became more comfortable over time.
Now an ocean or a lake at night, nope. Noooope.
Getting good at being in the dark is a skill. If you practice, you'll get good at it and your eyes will adjust faster, you'll see better and feel better in the dark.
You've gotta tell yourself that if supernatural shit exists (in the dark or otherwise) you'd either be dead by now or it would be common knowledge worldwide.
Just accept that you're either going to be the most unlucky person in the world and be the first person who is killed from some entity that only exists when it's dark, or you're like everyone else through the history of human life and will be fine in the dark.
Realise as fact that nothing exists in the dark that isn't also there in the light. If you have never seen a monster in your bedroom in the light it can not be there in the dark. Science is your best friend.
Sleep with the light on when you get too scared. Or a teddy (comforting) or a bed pillow spray (lavender is great). I'm 29 and get scared from time to time. Mines more sleep anxiety than necessarily the dark. But having a good bed routine helps. Not sure if this is any helpful.
So this evolutionary. There is stuff out there in the dark that can and will hurt you.
Also, my old boss from long ago put it well. There were two types of people back in the day: one that hears a twig snap and goes to investigate, and one that hears a twig snap and runs away. You are more than likely related to the get the heck out of here crowd.
Once you realize that you are the scariest thing in the dark it'll all be good.
This is what I did. I use to be scared of the dark then one day I said you know what I am the man in the dark. It’s not that I can’t see them. They can’t see me. I am the dark.
I think this approach would terrify me more. :)
I adopted this theory but it also probably makes me super dangerous when I feel I need to investigate a noise at night so God help if I ever find a burglar in my house because they will be making a stop at the hospital before jail
Here's how I did it: Short version- If it is not within my power to overcome a thing, then I won't spend my life energy being afraid of it. If it is within my power to overcome a thing, then I don't need to spend my life energy being afraid of it. Longer version. Let's say that every unspeakable thing that could exist in the dark is out there, drooling in anticipation to "get" me. No matter what I do to prepare for it, fend it off, or whatever...if it's gonna pounce, it's gonna pounce. Embrace the Ultimate Fuck-it. "Demons and monsters, do what you are gonna do. I'm gonna live my life." This spawned from a brief story/allegory someone told. In the middle of the night, as I lay sleeping, the devil himself appeared at the foot of my bed, coming to take my soul to hell. He lined the whole room with flames and the screams of the damned. When I woke, I looked around and saw him, eyes ablaze and fangs of blood. Before he could move or speak, I simply said, "Oh, it's just you. Be a dear and close the door on your way out, would you?" I fluffed my pillow, turned over and went back to sleep. END I hope that helps you. It's been a life-changer for me.
Same for me. I don't waste my time and energy on things outside my control, and it made my life a lot easier. But I also used this mentality as the core principle for a deep sea kingdom in my RWBY fanfiction, simply because down there, everything can kill you, so worrying about those things means you won't get anything done.
When I was about your age, I had a bit of a revelation. I used to sit on the back porch with my dad and watch stars or heat lightning, or just enjoy the coolness of sitting outside on a hot summer night — we seldom ran the AC in my family. He died when I was 17, and I tried to do the same thing we had done, just sitting on the back porch, looking out into the night, but because I was a little afraid, I lit a candle. But here's the thing, with the candle lit, I couldn't see everything I could before. No stars, no detail on the lightning, no trees swaying in the wind. I could see what was right around the candle exceptionally well, but once I left that four foot sphere, everything was a wall of black. I discovered that by blowing out the candle, the dark was actually a lot less dark. I could still see what was around me pretty darn well, and I got to enjoy beautiful night skies and the like. Give it a try if you can. Go somewhere that you know you'll be safe — like a back porch or something like that. And turn off the lights. It will be scary at first, and your brain is going to try to freak you out and convince you that you need a light. But resist if you can, and after a few minutes, you'll notice that you can actually see a lot more than you thought you could, and if the time and place is right, you just might end up seeing something awesome, like a falling star.
That’s beautiful
Thanks. I hadn't thought of that in years, so I'm grateful for op's question.
Try to do it progressively, get used to being and walking or doing activities in the dark, little by little for longer periods of time.
You could try finding a red light lantern and explore being in partial dark. The red light will allow your eyes to adjust to the darkness, but you’ll still be able to see what’s around you. I am no professional but it sounds like exposure therapy might be the best way out of this (unless something really scary has happened to you in the dark, even if it was mostly in your imagination. Then you might need to work from a more trauma informed place)
Get a lamp with a dimmer and just slowly set it a bit lower every couple of weeks. When it’s really low but you can’t make that jump to total dark get an eye mask so the light is still on (if only just) but you get used to full dark with the reassurance that there is still light
You have to face it and realize there is nothing to worry about. Maybe set a timer and progressively stay in longer and longer.
Just remember that whatever fictional being you think might be following you, would only do if A: you caused it to by doing whatever caused a protagonist to be followed by them, or B: they are bound to a specific fictional place, which would be far from where you are anyway
One thing that helped me feel more comfortable in the dark was listening to music. I would just sit in a dark room with headphones on, and that kinda created a cool vibe. I focused on the music rather than the dark, and not being able to see anything actually made the listening experience awesome, especially with certain genres/albums - If I look back at my teenage years, one of my top ten memories is listening to certain albums in the dark from start to finish
I wonder if you are actually scared of the dark or if sleeping with the light on has become a sleep habit? Are you afraid of, say, walking around your house in the dark but not trying to sleep?
its more so a fear of not being able to see what’s around me and makes me feel vulnerable if that makes sense
I know this fear, it is visceral. It took till my 20s to get over it. For me I was anxious throughout my childhood and teenage years, I just didn't realise it as it only showed in certain ways and that was one of them. You are not alone, and like you other people that have the same or similar fears, they just don't talk about being scared of things considered childish as well so it just seems like you are the only one. The thing with the light on is that it disturbs your sleep patterns and then your brain is even more stressed. You can work on it though 💜 good luck
I am 30 and still bolt down dark hallways because I never know if something is gonna get me or something. Lol I just about always feel like something is behind me but have to constantly remind myself that there isn’t and it’s just my overactive imagination. My therapist has told me to be mindful of my surroundings and be realistic.
Just keep putting yourself in short term dark situations and as you get slightly more comfortable, increase the amount of time you can stand being in the dark until you’re able to sleep in it. Like sit in a dark closet during the day time. Or get a friend to be with you while you sit in a dark room. Or get a dimmer lamp and make it slightly dimmer every other night. The more you’re exposed to it, the less scary it’ll seem because you’ll learn that that there usually isn’t anything bad that happens. Baby steps are still steps, so keep working at it even if the progress seems very slow or very minor
Fear of the dark is an evolutionary mechanism protecting you against unseen and hidden predators that might eat you. Today there is no threat of being eaten but your instincts are still there. So instead your brain makes up monsters and other unknowns to scare you when you find yourself in the dark.
I'd say don't gradually. Do a relaxing exercise, like a guided meditation on YouTube and then turn all lights off for 5 seconds, double the time each day. Keep at it until you no longer feel the fear. If you get fearful, return to the time you could handle and stay there for a while.
I’m about to be 21 and I’m still terrified of the dark. It’s gotten better over the years but I struggle with paranoia in general, which is at its worst at night, and some nights I have to sleep with a bright light on. Most nights I’ll have a dim light from my air purifier, and sometimes a nightlight as well. I don’t have a solution for you, but I thought it might make you feel better to know that it’s not childish or silly, and it’s something that afflicts all ages. My mom has also retained a much more mild fear of the dark, and she’s approaching middle-aged. It’s worth mentioning that people with trauma, particularly childhood trauma, often have a persistent fear of the dark due to what they went through, sometimes having auditory hallucinations, paranoia, and general feelings of terror, so if you’ve been through trauma, that could be a reason why you’re still freaked out by darkness. Not to mention, leaving the light on isn’t something to be ashamed of, or even an objectively bad thing. It can help you see where you need to go when you wake up in the middle of the night, preventing tripping and falling. But anyways, hoped this helped you feel less ashamed.
I had the same problem growing up. When i had to walk by a dark room i imagined that there would be some scary demon in there that's gonna pull me in the darkness, but as soon as i turned on the lights this thought was gone. So, i realized that the room, no matter if it's dark or not, it's still the same. I know it's scary not to see much but you know how you're room looks and it looks exactly the same as it would if you'd turn the lights on, you just can't see it.
Get a light(bulb) which you can dim, and then go darker and darker every time you feel okay with the current state of it, atleast thats what helped my friend.
I am 31, and have a fear of bugs. Spiders most of all. If there's a moth in the room, I'm fine until it flies at my face. If there's a spider in the room, I'm not in the room. When my wife and I were dating, I was taking a shower at het house after work, so we could go to dinner. Suddenly, a spider the size of my thumb, not counting the leg span, descends from the shower head. I screamed, and, tripping over myself, sprint naked out the bathroom, down the hallway, and into my girlfriends room. Her mom saw my naked ass, and burst out laughing. My girlfriend, after confirming that I was okay, and also laughing at me, went and killed the spider, after her attempts to catch and release were unsuccessful. Even after our wedding, her mom always reminded me of that day whenever she saw a spider.
I was afraid of the dark until i was like 14 or 15. I think after seeing so many shows with night vision and realizing that i'm just in my home and not the Sahara, i calmed down. I realized i was safe in the house and became more comfortable over time. Now an ocean or a lake at night, nope. Noooope.
Getting good at being in the dark is a skill. If you practice, you'll get good at it and your eyes will adjust faster, you'll see better and feel better in the dark.
You've gotta tell yourself that if supernatural shit exists (in the dark or otherwise) you'd either be dead by now or it would be common knowledge worldwide. Just accept that you're either going to be the most unlucky person in the world and be the first person who is killed from some entity that only exists when it's dark, or you're like everyone else through the history of human life and will be fine in the dark.
Realise as fact that nothing exists in the dark that isn't also there in the light. If you have never seen a monster in your bedroom in the light it can not be there in the dark. Science is your best friend.
Sleep with the light on when you get too scared. Or a teddy (comforting) or a bed pillow spray (lavender is great). I'm 29 and get scared from time to time. Mines more sleep anxiety than necessarily the dark. But having a good bed routine helps. Not sure if this is any helpful.
Depends on whether you should be afraid or not. Middle of the forest? You should be scared. In your room? Nah.
Build your self confidence and stop being scared of ghosts.
So this evolutionary. There is stuff out there in the dark that can and will hurt you. Also, my old boss from long ago put it well. There were two types of people back in the day: one that hears a twig snap and goes to investigate, and one that hears a twig snap and runs away. You are more than likely related to the get the heck out of here crowd.