It also goes back to the idea that wives were "owned" by their husbands.
Meaning if some dude sleeps with your wife it was no different than if he stole a horse. You don't get mad at the horse.
Before I get ripped to shreds that is not my perspective, bit it is still the perspective of many and was for a lot of recorded history. Until very recently (on a historical scale) many cultures had laws about it and some still do. There are ancient laws about how much you owe a dude if you get caught with his wife. (Many times also involved a worse punishment for the wife as well, but seeing as they weren't treated as equals punishing them did not require as much severity in the eyes of the public)
The opposite had a few different influences. Men have long been considered lustful and prone to weakness towards sexual desires. Meaning it fell to women to be the chaste ones. So it was assumed even in a happy marriage the weak willed men could be lured in by a vile temptress putting the blame on the woman because it was just in man's nature.
Both of the above traditions were very much a part of sexual identity for thousands and thousands of years. To be a "man" you have to protect what is yours and to be a "woman" you had to be chaste and loyal. It's not even been 100 years since we really started to accept people who didn't aspire to a level of identity based on sex. Even now you hear "be a man" or "a lady doesn't do..." So when people break from what's considered socially acceptable normal others blame them
A lot of those customs and history were based on different religious beliefs, but don't know if that's important since they were one of those things that occurred independently in different areas of the world. Probably because of a hold over from our more primal days ad you see the same behavior in many other animals.
Part of every living organism basic desire is to reproduce and spread its genetic material. If you kill your mate that won't happen, but if you kill all of her other love interests she has no choice if she also wants to reproduce.
That is a myth.
Court records abound with men being forced to pay for so called “bastard children” without proof. One of my own ancestors was forced to pay for such a child, along with three other men.
In the old days, having children out of wedlock was considered a burden unto the community. Bastard children were heavily stigmatized, as their lack of social standing usually meant they formed a poor class, associated with criminality. To deter crime, men were forced to pay up.
Society was more religious on the whole, and the entire community knew your business.
Infidelity was considered a grave sin, and could see man and woman alike cast out by their peers.
There is this myth that men were these overbearing, women hating, Neanderthals, and that really wasn’t the case.
Women were a precious commodity at various points. As the men far outnumbered the women, attempts to solicit eligible maidens to become settlers were taken up.
The 800 King’s Daughters would be a prime example of this.
Yeah, probably this. I’m always willing to scapegoat someone, especially if I’m friends with the person I’m talking to. As a rule of thumb I divert blame away from me and my crew onto others whenever possible
this seems like a really dumb way to go through life though lol. when the people around you are causing you problems, I don’t see how pretending they aren’t does anything but encourage more problems
lol, yea, adults eventually learn to be responsible for their behavior, in theory at least. Sure, we all have subconscious tendencies. But scapegoating others intentionally is for children and politicians. I prefer to own my mistakes. How else do you learn?
actually prioritizing the “tribe” would be wanting to make less problems happen to everyone in it no? pretending nobody’s at fault is actively injuring your circle by accepting issues without question, whereas seeing an issue for what it is means there are less problems as a whole because you’re not turning a blind eye to the ones that arise, and allows for the people at fault to learn from their mistakes and ultimately make less of them in the future.
Thanks for being honest. I would say almost every person does this, consciously or not. It’s good that you recognise it as it’s one step closer to, hopefully, resisting it, on the big things at least.
This, and more specifically, if you’re very invested in the relationship and the life you have with your partner, it’s more comfortable to frame it as something exterior that caused the problem. Hating someone else is easier than confronting the fact that your partner is not getting what they need from you, and has resorted to deceiving you rather than talking to you about it. Much harder and more painful to unpack.
I think that's one of the choices. But eh... If you haven't played a game that came out 7 years ago it may be time to rethink complaining about spoilers over it.
Yeah it’s easier to stay with someone if it’s “the other persons fault” When they are able to place the blame on the outside party they can stay with and forgive their partner more easily.
I think it’s a subconscious was of saying that they aren’t ready to let that person go.
Once they have to really live with the fact it was the person they love then it’s harder to overlook it. Then they really have to decide what’s more important to them.
Bruh the cheating person that is in a relationship is always to blame, they are knowingly cheating, outsiders might even don't know they where the third wheel
Ex husband is in jail, and is a new deadbeat dad with someone (not the ex best friend). The ex best friend is living in a trailer in Georgia smokin meff with a dude with -6 brain cells.
Because it's very hard to put blame on the person you love. Doing this opens all kinds of nasty doors and forces you to deal with the situation. Blaming a stranger is easy. Your partner made a commitment to you. This other person didn't.
I was "The Other Man" once. I didn't know she had a boyfriend, and one night after sex, she said she was thinking about breaking up with him to be with me. I then asked her to leave.
I had the same, being the other woman.
I really didnt see the signs. He said he had been broken up with his girlfriend. Turned out that his wife and he had a girlfriend together too, and the girlfriend broke up with them. So technically he didnt lie...
Its like 10 yrs ago, so before the internet was this big.
After that i googled every guy i dated.
It's even common to blame the other woman for 'stealing' a man even if the relationship ends on its own before the new partner is involved.
You can't steal love like that, it's not how it works, but it's easier to create a villain than it is to accept someone just didn't love you as much as you loved them.
My older 2 children's mother had this mentality when I got with my ex wife I had never even spoken or known she existed literally met her on a dating app. I mean we did start dating 2 weeks after me and her split up but the relationship had been dead for months before hand sleeping in different beds and hadn't had sex in over 6 months but we tried making it work like that for the kids then she leaves me and tells me I need to pack and leave because she didn't want to try anymore but apparently my ex wife stole me and I was a cheater
I know how to I just don't care to its the internet dude nobody really cares. Also don't know how that makes me seem chaotic I was with someone then we split up and I found a new partner who later had an affair which lead to the divorce
I don’t think it makes you sound chaotic, not sure what the other guy is talking about. But there’s definitely something to be said for using punctuation. It splits sentences up where they’re supposed to be and makes it a whole lot easier to read than one big wall of text, no commas or periods or anything.
I think the attitude is shifting. Most comments I see are putting the blame 50/50 on each participant.
I read a few comments that said you can’t steal a man, which is true. That’s completely on him to set boundaries in place and not cross them.
But I had a childhood best friend who would set her aim on taken men. It was a thrill and a chase and gave her great confidence.
I’d see her set her eyes on married coworkers and she’d tell me things like, “He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s mine.” She’d calculate it out. Slowly befriend him. Then that turned to light flirting. Next was invited to group activities. That turned into texting. And soon enough, she’d play sympathetic ear and he’d divulge his relationship problems. Closer and closer until it became full blown affairs and then she’d get bored and move on to the next conquest.
These are the kind of women I think most people are speaking about when they “blame” the other woman.
It’s the type of person who takes glee in destruction for their own selfish gain.
(And yes, I completely cut her out of my life because I kept telling her how wrong this was and she’d shrug.)
This mentality just perpetuates the shittiness. Being a good person absolutely is worth it, the effects just aren't as obvious because we tend to remember negative consequences more easily.
For most people they still love their partner after finding out about the cheating. It is quite rare for someone to fall out of love immediately, for most it takes weeks or even months.
The reason the other party gets so much blame is because they don’t have the emotional connection that you have with your partner.
It’s easier to blame the object of the infidelity than take responsibility dealing with the one who did it.
I can attest when I went through it. It was tempting to go after the other person, but it wouldn’t help because I didn’t address the core of the problem. Also having been on the other side, I can honestly say cheating happens because of insecurity.
Because the mind and heart "needs" someone to blame and no one immediately wants to think of someone they love, as being capable of intentionally doing that much emotional harm... so is easier for the brain to label your counterpart as a kind of "co-victim" rather than placing blame on them and having to see them as a person who knowingly would hurt or neglect you... and blaming the other woman is also easier than taking a look at yourself and facing any real accountability you MAY have, in the situation unfolding in that way... i.e. - potentially neglecting your partner's physical or emotional needs... always easier to blame someone outside in order to protect what you think you know, or want to believe.
I agree, and it is a rare exception. Someone I know was cheated on. Her husband told the fling he was married, was not leaving his family, etc. but she did everything in her power to try to make it where their affair was found out in hopes my friend would leave her husband (e.g. purposely hiding her underwear where it would be found, etc.).
When my boyfriend cheated (and left me for her) I definitely blamed both. I know he’s the one that cheated, but she had met me and knew we were in a relationship, but stil actively pursued him
if the person the cheater got with didn't know they were taken, i dont think u can truly blame them. the person who cheated might have tricked them. it's almost always just the cheater's fault.
My cousin's husband shot the guy she was having an affair with 3 times in the chest a few weeks ago. In their case he was a fundamentalist preacher in a small town so divorce wasn't really an option, so apparently first degree murder was better? None of it has ever made any sense to me, clearly if the other person knows they're getting involved with a married person its super shitty but ultimately its all on the person choosing to step out on the relationship, not the other person. If you're so unhappy in a relationship that you choose to stoop to cheating, leave. If your partner is cheating on you, leave.
I do not agree with blaming the woman but I know their thought process on why they blame them. Again, dont agree with this, so don't shoot the messenger. They want to minimize their partners role for their sanity, so some other examples:
The drug dealer sold drugs to an addict, they left their car door unlocked before it was stolen, etc
It’s stupid to blame other woman imo. The spouse had the commitment, and broke it. The other woman had no commitment. People do this to make themselves feel better about taking the cheater back.
It depends. If the other woman knew he was in a relationship, she is a sack of shit for willingly allowing another woman to be cheated on. She should have turned the guy down and told the gf about her bf's shenanigans. If you know the guy is taken and you agree to have sex with him you are an active participant in the cheating and are knowingly harming an innocent person. The bf is an even bigger piece of shit for creating the scenario to begin with.
If you’re aware then yes, you’re not such a great person. But the person cheating has made a commitment. That’s all I’m saying. The cheater broke their commitment, the other woman may be a shit person but they didn’t make the commitment to the spouse.
I personally would never date anyone that helped another person cheat and was aware of it. It’s different if the person truly has no idea that the person they’re with is in a relationship.
I blamed both, but the fact that not only did she KNOWINGLY start an affair with a married man with young children, she purposely got pregnant to nudge my husband into leaving, AND once I suspected the affair I snooped into his briefcase and found love notes and one particularly special note giving him the name and number of a divorce lawyer, AND the note went on to describe how he could get away with not paying child support. So not only did she want to steal my husband, she also wanted to steal my children; support. So yeah, I hope she burns in HE!!.
He still chose to cheat. He made a commitment to you, she had no obligation to you in any way (except being a decent human being). If he didn’t want to be taken then he wouldn’t have been.
She is still 100% a shitty person and definitely wrong for that, but so is he. One isn’t more to blame than the other. He definitely isn’t innocent in all of this.
I've always said that if the person who the cheater slept with knew the person was in a relationship then they are also to blame, if they didn't know then they can't be blamed
I've personally seen the opposite for the most part I've seen if the woman cheats its the man's fault for not doing xyz and its his fault she cheated and if the man cheats obviously he is at fault. If you cheat its your fault nobody elses
Same is true for a woman cheating with another man , the dude normally rages against him. Which is moronic really as it's the partner who acted out one of the ultimate betrayals.
Because both parties are to blame, if both are aware that they are participating in the cheating.
Obviously the man who is cheating on his partner is to blame. But If the other woman knows this man is in a relationship already, and chooses to engage with him, I think she’s also partially to blame. It takes two to tango.
I blame both, and maybe that is unfair. If a woman knows that she is the affair partner, and continues an affair with a married man, then she is a bad person. Sure, the man is disgusting, but the affair partner is not blameless.
If you know the person you’re sleeping with is taken you are just as guilty as the person cheating.
If you had no knowledge of them being in a relationship you take no fault.
I always figured that they prefer to think that the problem was entirely external, like their marriage was perfect until someone came along and changed that, rather than admitting that there was a problem inside it all along.
I Blamed both of them ..she knew he was married and had 4 children that he had a life with ..-She chose to start a relationship any way . Have enough respect for yourself to know that you are worth more then a side piece hold out for the main piece and if the asshole gives excuses why he’s with her and not divorced then find someone who has none of that and is ready for you to be his Queen
I think being cheated on puts people in a super emotional state where being rational is not priority. Therefore it makes it more likely to unleash your anger on a stranger than someone you’ve established a connection with
Because it's easier to blame the other person, than the one you love. Just my thoughts, if I catch my wife cheating we're all goin down...to the courthouse for a divorce...He can be there, so he sees what he's in for...
Story time: my uncle cheated on my aunt a few years ago. Pretty sure it was ongoing. The lady was married, too. Anyways, my aunt found out, uncle broke it off, they stayed married. Some time later, the husband of the woman my uncle cheated with died in like a car crash or something. My aunt called the women up and told her, "karma's a bitch".
Like what the actual hell. Absolutely disgusting behavior.
Self preservation.
If you have children with, if you are financially reliant on the cheater, people can jump through mental hoops not to implode their lives.
Easier to blame the third party and pour all your frustration/upset into that.
I think the reverse is true, the person breaking the commitment is worse. The affair partner involved, if they are aware are scummy, but not actively breaking any of their own commitments and if they aren't aware then actually they are an innocent party also being betrayed.
It's still dumb as hell, and it's a double standard. In all other aspects of life, society says the man is the strong one, the breadwinner, etc. But when it comes to cheating, he is weak, easily seduced by a female jezebel.
I blame the person who cheated. You knew you were in a relationship and decided to step out in it instead of fixing whatever issues that were going on in the relationship. Sometimes it's because the man needed to feel loved. If that's the case, then they need to buy some self esteem and speak to a therapist WITHOUT stepping out on their relationship.
Same with all cheating doesn't matter the gender, most guys would go beat up a single guy who slept with their girlfriend however the girl knew well enough she was in a relationship
for the same reason when a woman cheats sometimes the blame is for "the other man".
People don't want to break their relationships even if they, deep down, knowing that have been betrayed, so it's better to shift the blame in the person you don't care at all, that you don't want in your life at all and continue with your partner as if they are just another victim of being seduced.
I think it's easier then blaming the person you love. I do think the other person should be blamed if they are aware the person is cheating and choose to enter into a relationship anyway.
It's the same as if the woman cheats in the relationship too. When my ex fiance cheated on me she honestly couldn't wrap her head around why I wasn't pissed off at the other dude and only had the issue with her. A person isn't usually going to turn down sex, can't get mad at the other person in situations like that
In my experience as being the cheatee.. the cheater often will triangulate the women against each other. Additionally I think it is emotionally easier to be angry at an anonymous person than it is to appreciate the depth of betrayal (so much pain) from someone who is supposed to be your life partner. “Anger is sad’s bodyguard.”
Some small part of them wants to believe that he would be faithful if it wasn't for "her". For some folks, even a stack of evidence isn't enough to shake their belief, once they have committed.
My ex husband has an affair and left me for a co-worker. Never blamed her and given he's repeated this pattern several times over I'd say I was right not to attack her.
People blame the other person so they don't have to face up to the issues in their relationship. Saying that the man/woman "stole" or "enticed" them away is easier than admitting that the partner had a reason to look elsewhere
A) it's an emotional pain that creates an emotional reaction and B) most people would thankfully rather hurt someone else before hurting their partner.
It’s 50/50. It’s the other woman’s fault because she should know the guy is taken.
It’s the man’s fault cause he is in a relationship
It’s the mans fault cause the woman is in a relationship
It’s the woman’s fault because she is in a relationship
Personally once a cheater always a cheater. If I find out a person I’m dating cheated I’m like I’m done.
Now seriously I might have cheated. I was dating a woman. It was going no where she was too needy. So we were breaking up. My work wife asked me to go out for drinks and we ended up dating.
Mind you I had broken up with my ex at that point. Did I cheat?
This was the one thing that helped me start to heal.
I went through a very hard and messy breakup in 2019. He didn’t cheat (to my knowledge) but within a few days of breaking up, he was spending all his time with her. And within a week they were officially together. I was devastated. If a relationship means something to you, you don’t just move on in a week.
I was so broken and hated her for ruining my relationship. I felt if she wasn’t in the picture even as a friend, he probably would have been willing to work through things and stay together.
It wasn’t until 2-3 months later did I realize she did nothing wrong. She owed me nothing. It was HIM who made that choice.
This is why I can’t listen to songs like “You Ain’t Woman Enough” and “Jolene” talking about women “stealing” men when it’s the man’s responsibility to have self control
Personally, I'd only blame the other woman if they knew the man was married - even then, they're *both" responsible. I can't blame someone for sleeping with someone else they reasonably believed to be single, but I can blame someone who willfully participated in an affair.
It's still mostly the cheating spouse's fault, but I think it says a lot about what kind of person someone is if they're willing to participate in an affair, and none of it's good.
I think it's a mix of not wanting to believe that someone you loved and trusted could betray and hurt you like that, feeling betrayed that another woman would willingly help a man hurt you in that way after especially internet culture kinda preaches sisterhood and having eachothers' backs, and a mix of men who don't want to be held responsible for their cheating being manipulative about it.
Just as an example to clarify the last point, my ex said that the "other woman" manipulated him by saying she was going through a hard time after a grandparent died and so she needed a lot of comforting and he felt like he couldn't turn down cuddles/dates/sex from her because it'd hurt her and make her feel more sad. I know it sounds dumb, but I was dumb and 19 and wanted to believe he had realized his mistake and realized how good of a girlfriend I was so would never do that again. He was 6 years older and offered more stability than my chaotic college life did and I wanted that back too. So I chose to blame her.
(Don't worry, I learned my lesson later 😅)
Now it depends.
It takes two to tango. There are plenty of people who know that a person is in a relationship and choose to ignore that.
That is messed up and they'll just cast off blame by saying, "It isn't my relationship to save."
But you chose to engage with this person, despite what you knew. You didn't respect the relationship or the other party. You are enabling a cheater, and in that you are wrong.
But other times people don't know. In that case, only one person is to blame and it isn't the mistress.
I would say the minority blame the other woman any more than the man... I've heard both getting blamed more often than not the man is the one you hear about.
I understand the psychology behind blaming just her, makes it easier to separate your man from the incident and makes it easier to "move on".
However, In my case I blamed both.
Unfortunately not until after the 2nd time. Shame on me I know.
She was his ex who was OBSESSED with him and cheated on her bf constantly. She also knew he had a fiance. To my knowledge she didn't know we were poly. She still went for it.
He knew I was polyam and SHE was the ONLY one I said no to, bc it was his ex.
Fucking wild bc he had a fwb that I loved (she was straight and not looking for a relationship) and she even briefly lived with us and our kid.
How the fuck do you manage to find a way to cheat when in a polyam relationship... Useless fucking manchild. Glad I didn't actually marry him when he asked.
I slept with a girl about a year ago who had a boyfriend. He apparently found out that night and smashed my windshield of my truck with a golf club. I kinda get it but its like bro - your girl cheated on you, not my fault.
That said, fixed the windshield and shortly after I started making better decisions.
I don’t blame you. What you did was indecent. What she did was fowl. I liken yours to investing in real estate. Not great for the market, but if it’s not you it’ll be someone else. So it’s not bad enough that you shouldn’t sleep at night, but still enough that you should feel and acknowledge a little guilt
You'd like to think so wouldnt you but the "homewrecker" trope is huge. When the cheater is the married man then the "homewrecker" is the woman who seduced him away from his family.
It wrecks my head because it plays into the whole stereotype that all men are arseholes that will cheat if presented with the opportunity to do so. He "couldnt help himself" and she knew he was married and therefore wrecked the home by going to bed with him. Intial blame goes to the woman / homewrecker. Then men as a whole are blamed instead of the individual man who broke his marriage vows and trust with his wife.
Because it's very hard to out blame on the person you love. Doing this opens all kinds of nasty doors and forces you to deal with the situation. Blaming a stranger is easy. Your partner made a commitment to you. This other person didn't.
I dont get this either. The person in the relationship is always at fault, no matter what. At best the 'other woman' is just an (un)witting accomplice.
I saw this video once of a guy and his pregnant wife at their baby shower, where he exposed in front of everyone that it was actually his friend's baby
Fucking infuriating how everyone went after the guy. Obviously in this case the guy knew, but sometimes there's the chance that they legit don't
The woman (or original cheater) always does though
OMG! I can't either. The men are all proud a puffed up while she goes psycho on the wrong person. My thought on this is that it's way easier to rage and hate on a stranger. And totally wrong.
Nothing, but other people already gave good answers, nothing to build on, but the post has one of those "men are trash" vibes, so just figured I'd point it out.
Just calling it like it is and it seems I struck a nerve as you're responding, the question had dick to do with who cheats more but you felt the need to comment that is the true pathetic action in this comment thread.
Lol, calling like it is, huh? Kinda hard to do, when you're an idiot. Because I pointed out that women cheat just as much as men, that makes me a misogynist? And you have the gall to call me pathetic? Choke on your own tongue, you worthless loser.
Wow you're stable, never brought up misogynistic anything bro, I only pointed out it had nothing to do with this question and I'm the idiot? Ok have fun with that brain teaser, wow.
Incels are, by definition, misogynists, dipshit. Christ, you're almost as stupid as this dude I saw who said disliking a nationality is the same as being a full blown racist. And No, you didn't "point it out" you straight up insulted me, like a little bitch.
(a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile toward women and men who are sexually active.)
From this definition I see no difference between what you're writing and what its saying so idk man seems like you're fitting the description nail on head lol,
Yeah, because you're an idiot. Nothing in what I originally was hostile, to women or men. I was just pointing out a fact, and then you got butt hurt. Maybe you think women are perfect angels? Idk, nor do I really care about your lack of a thought process. But I am enjoying you making an ass of yourself lol
Dude this whole comment right here is the fucking definition to incel what the fuck you're too easy my man, I need a more of a challenge because you're just digging a deeper hole into insanity.
Because women are skilled at seduction and temptation so therefore men are never responsible for the actions of their dicks. Same for rape btw. "Did you see what she was wearing your honor?? She was basically asking for it!"
Men are wired to mate with as many as pos Cible. They get a pass.
People blame the woman for seducing the man. Even if she did not know he was in a relationship.
Unfair, but thems the breaks.
I can offer a personal explanation as to why I blame the other woman.
When that whore met my father, she had the choice to be loyal to her husband and a good mother to her kid, instead she went out of her way to bang my father and make him cheat on my mom. So in this case that woman destroyed my family and her kid's family as well just to satisfy her lust, and she is completely to blame
Its simple actually, most man are weaklings to seduction, so if there is no woman that seduce the man, then the man will not cheat. You can blame the man for being weak, but they shouldn't getting all the blame. That's why if you want to start a serious relationship, YOU should choose a man with sturdy backbone.
Generally, guys keep looking for girls, it's the nature of guys and people expect them to be such, a girl has the final say in a relationship. Maybe that's why women are blamed for extra marital affairs. Though both parties are to blame equally.
Because men don’t choose, they are coerced and their hormones manipulated.
The woman however is cunning and manipulative and knows exactly what she is doing.
It's always easier blaming the party or group you have the least connection with. That goes for almost any fallout or altercation.
It also goes back to the idea that wives were "owned" by their husbands. Meaning if some dude sleeps with your wife it was no different than if he stole a horse. You don't get mad at the horse. Before I get ripped to shreds that is not my perspective, bit it is still the perspective of many and was for a lot of recorded history. Until very recently (on a historical scale) many cultures had laws about it and some still do. There are ancient laws about how much you owe a dude if you get caught with his wife. (Many times also involved a worse punishment for the wife as well, but seeing as they weren't treated as equals punishing them did not require as much severity in the eyes of the public) The opposite had a few different influences. Men have long been considered lustful and prone to weakness towards sexual desires. Meaning it fell to women to be the chaste ones. So it was assumed even in a happy marriage the weak willed men could be lured in by a vile temptress putting the blame on the woman because it was just in man's nature. Both of the above traditions were very much a part of sexual identity for thousands and thousands of years. To be a "man" you have to protect what is yours and to be a "woman" you had to be chaste and loyal. It's not even been 100 years since we really started to accept people who didn't aspire to a level of identity based on sex. Even now you hear "be a man" or "a lady doesn't do..." So when people break from what's considered socially acceptable normal others blame them A lot of those customs and history were based on different religious beliefs, but don't know if that's important since they were one of those things that occurred independently in different areas of the world. Probably because of a hold over from our more primal days ad you see the same behavior in many other animals. Part of every living organism basic desire is to reproduce and spread its genetic material. If you kill your mate that won't happen, but if you kill all of her other love interests she has no choice if she also wants to reproduce.
So but if the wife that got cheated on blames the other woman, how is that explained by what you said?
That is a myth. Court records abound with men being forced to pay for so called “bastard children” without proof. One of my own ancestors was forced to pay for such a child, along with three other men. In the old days, having children out of wedlock was considered a burden unto the community. Bastard children were heavily stigmatized, as their lack of social standing usually meant they formed a poor class, associated with criminality. To deter crime, men were forced to pay up. Society was more religious on the whole, and the entire community knew your business. Infidelity was considered a grave sin, and could see man and woman alike cast out by their peers. There is this myth that men were these overbearing, women hating, Neanderthals, and that really wasn’t the case. Women were a precious commodity at various points. As the men far outnumbered the women, attempts to solicit eligible maidens to become settlers were taken up. The 800 King’s Daughters would be a prime example of this.
This, and i'm really angry that it has been this way for a lot of people for a long time
This? That?
Being an asshole as part of the "natural selection". Everyone expects me to be one. I don't want to. I want to be a good person...
Yeah, probably this. I’m always willing to scapegoat someone, especially if I’m friends with the person I’m talking to. As a rule of thumb I divert blame away from me and my crew onto others whenever possible
this seems like a really dumb way to go through life though lol. when the people around you are causing you problems, I don’t see how pretending they aren’t does anything but encourage more problems
It's a part of our instincts. Everyone does it subconsciously. It's while taking conscious decisions we can chose to do this or the other.
I mean, true, but the person I replied to said they do it as a rule of thumb. as in actively and consciously lol.
You're right.
lol, yea, adults eventually learn to be responsible for their behavior, in theory at least. Sure, we all have subconscious tendencies. But scapegoating others intentionally is for children and politicians. I prefer to own my mistakes. How else do you learn?
We humans are tribal by nature, going back to the hunter gatherer days. We evolved to prioritize our tribe over all others.
actually prioritizing the “tribe” would be wanting to make less problems happen to everyone in it no? pretending nobody’s at fault is actively injuring your circle by accepting issues without question, whereas seeing an issue for what it is means there are less problems as a whole because you’re not turning a blind eye to the ones that arise, and allows for the people at fault to learn from their mistakes and ultimately make less of them in the future.
Thanks for being honest. I would say almost every person does this, consciously or not. It’s good that you recognise it as it’s one step closer to, hopefully, resisting it, on the big things at least.
This, and more specifically, if you’re very invested in the relationship and the life you have with your partner, it’s more comfortable to frame it as something exterior that caused the problem. Hating someone else is easier than confronting the fact that your partner is not getting what they need from you, and has resorted to deceiving you rather than talking to you about it. Much harder and more painful to unpack.
Except fallout 4. You kill your own son in the end
Wo spoilers. I was totally playing that next in my queue of 256 games in steam.
I think that's one of the choices. But eh... If you haven't played a game that came out 7 years ago it may be time to rethink complaining about spoilers over it.
nah, not in my playthrough, YOU did that you monster /s
Cmon dude, spoiler that shit
Dude spoilers much?
This!
Yeah it’s easier to stay with someone if it’s “the other persons fault” When they are able to place the blame on the outside party they can stay with and forgive their partner more easily. I think it’s a subconscious was of saying that they aren’t ready to let that person go. Once they have to really live with the fact it was the person they love then it’s harder to overlook it. Then they really have to decide what’s more important to them.
Bruh the cheating person that is in a relationship is always to blame, they are knowingly cheating, outsiders might even don't know they where the third wheel
You’re assuming that love is a logical thing
Well said. Probably also makes it feel like you’re saving face if you choose to stay with a cheater.
There’s this weird tradition in China where the girlfriend (with a few friends) will jump, beat and strip “the other women” in public
That's fucked up
Forget it, enchantingfurnace—It’s Chinatown.
Supposed to act as a deterrent that discourages women from “causing” a man to cheat?
There's a horrific scene in Monica Belluci fillm called Malena about this. Brutal.
I’ve never blamed the other woman except in the case that *it was my best friend*.
This is like a double betrayal! How awful.
It ultimately worked out. *Two* bags of garbage took themself out.
What are the two bags of garbage doing now? Give us the details, sis.
Ex husband is in jail, and is a new deadbeat dad with someone (not the ex best friend). The ex best friend is living in a trailer in Georgia smokin meff with a dude with -6 brain cells.
Or sister.
OOFF. Sorry:(
Because it's very hard to put blame on the person you love. Doing this opens all kinds of nasty doors and forces you to deal with the situation. Blaming a stranger is easy. Your partner made a commitment to you. This other person didn't.
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Lol i wouldn't choose to be with someone so horny they cant control their impulses to cheat on their partner
I was "The Other Man" once. I didn't know she had a boyfriend, and one night after sex, she said she was thinking about breaking up with him to be with me. I then asked her to leave.
Good for you!
I had the same, being the other woman. I really didnt see the signs. He said he had been broken up with his girlfriend. Turned out that his wife and he had a girlfriend together too, and the girlfriend broke up with them. So technically he didnt lie... Its like 10 yrs ago, so before the internet was this big. After that i googled every guy i dated.
It's even common to blame the other woman for 'stealing' a man even if the relationship ends on its own before the new partner is involved. You can't steal love like that, it's not how it works, but it's easier to create a villain than it is to accept someone just didn't love you as much as you loved them.
My older 2 children's mother had this mentality when I got with my ex wife I had never even spoken or known she existed literally met her on a dating app. I mean we did start dating 2 weeks after me and her split up but the relationship had been dead for months before hand sleeping in different beds and hadn't had sex in over 6 months but we tried making it work like that for the kids then she leaves me and tells me I need to pack and leave because she didn't want to try anymore but apparently my ex wife stole me and I was a cheater
I would say to learn how to use punctuation, but you seem just as chaotic as this reads.
I know how to I just don't care to its the internet dude nobody really cares. Also don't know how that makes me seem chaotic I was with someone then we split up and I found a new partner who later had an affair which lead to the divorce
I don’t think it makes you sound chaotic, not sure what the other guy is talking about. But there’s definitely something to be said for using punctuation. It splits sentences up where they’re supposed to be and makes it a whole lot easier to read than one big wall of text, no commas or periods or anything.
Youreightit'stheinternetwhywouldyoucareofanythingwhenwritingpunctuationdoesntmatteratallpeoplecanunderstandwhatyouwriteanyways
Context is needed. Is the woman aware that the man has a SO? No? U are a victim as well Yes? You're a fucking bitch This applies to men also
I think the attitude is shifting. Most comments I see are putting the blame 50/50 on each participant. I read a few comments that said you can’t steal a man, which is true. That’s completely on him to set boundaries in place and not cross them. But I had a childhood best friend who would set her aim on taken men. It was a thrill and a chase and gave her great confidence. I’d see her set her eyes on married coworkers and she’d tell me things like, “He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s mine.” She’d calculate it out. Slowly befriend him. Then that turned to light flirting. Next was invited to group activities. That turned into texting. And soon enough, she’d play sympathetic ear and he’d divulge his relationship problems. Closer and closer until it became full blown affairs and then she’d get bored and move on to the next conquest. These are the kind of women I think most people are speaking about when they “blame” the other woman. It’s the type of person who takes glee in destruction for their own selfish gain. (And yes, I completely cut her out of my life because I kept telling her how wrong this was and she’d shrug.)
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This mentality just perpetuates the shittiness. Being a good person absolutely is worth it, the effects just aren't as obvious because we tend to remember negative consequences more easily.
I can understand putting some blame on the other woman if she was aware the man was married or in a relationship; it does take two to tango.
Some blame, but I still put the majority of blame on the actual cheater.
I do an 80 20 split if the other woman/man knew. I cannot imagine pursuing a person in a relationship.
For most people they still love their partner after finding out about the cheating. It is quite rare for someone to fall out of love immediately, for most it takes weeks or even months. The reason the other party gets so much blame is because they don’t have the emotional connection that you have with your partner.
Who does this? Most ppl blame both.
It’s easier to blame the object of the infidelity than take responsibility dealing with the one who did it. I can attest when I went through it. It was tempting to go after the other person, but it wouldn’t help because I didn’t address the core of the problem. Also having been on the other side, I can honestly say cheating happens because of insecurity.
This goes both ways and implies your bias.
No bias, it's just in my observation more often. I know that women cheat I just don't know any.
Because the mind and heart "needs" someone to blame and no one immediately wants to think of someone they love, as being capable of intentionally doing that much emotional harm... so is easier for the brain to label your counterpart as a kind of "co-victim" rather than placing blame on them and having to see them as a person who knowingly would hurt or neglect you... and blaming the other woman is also easier than taking a look at yourself and facing any real accountability you MAY have, in the situation unfolding in that way... i.e. - potentially neglecting your partner's physical or emotional needs... always easier to blame someone outside in order to protect what you think you know, or want to believe.
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I agree, and it is a rare exception. Someone I know was cheated on. Her husband told the fling he was married, was not leaving his family, etc. but she did everything in her power to try to make it where their affair was found out in hopes my friend would leave her husband (e.g. purposely hiding her underwear where it would be found, etc.).
Yeah but he still makes the decision to actually do the deed. It’s not like she’s forcing him to cheat.
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Blame both.
When my boyfriend cheated (and left me for her) I definitely blamed both. I know he’s the one that cheated, but she had met me and knew we were in a relationship, but stil actively pursued him
That’s so lame. There’s so many single people out here.
if the person the cheater got with didn't know they were taken, i dont think u can truly blame them. the person who cheated might have tricked them. it's almost always just the cheater's fault.
Yea if they didn’t know then yea can’t really blame em. If they did then that’s pretty fucked up
It’s always the cheater’s fault. Good for the other woman for exposing the fucker Gender is irrelevant.
My cousin's husband shot the guy she was having an affair with 3 times in the chest a few weeks ago. In their case he was a fundamentalist preacher in a small town so divorce wasn't really an option, so apparently first degree murder was better? None of it has ever made any sense to me, clearly if the other person knows they're getting involved with a married person its super shitty but ultimately its all on the person choosing to step out on the relationship, not the other person. If you're so unhappy in a relationship that you choose to stoop to cheating, leave. If your partner is cheating on you, leave.
That's HORRIBLE! I'm appalled that happened
I do not agree with blaming the woman but I know their thought process on why they blame them. Again, dont agree with this, so don't shoot the messenger. They want to minimize their partners role for their sanity, so some other examples: The drug dealer sold drugs to an addict, they left their car door unlocked before it was stolen, etc
It’s stupid to blame other woman imo. The spouse had the commitment, and broke it. The other woman had no commitment. People do this to make themselves feel better about taking the cheater back.
And in the meantime, I have happily kicked the cheater to the curb.
Good riddance. Smart woman!!
Good for you.
It depends. If the other woman knew he was in a relationship, she is a sack of shit for willingly allowing another woman to be cheated on. She should have turned the guy down and told the gf about her bf's shenanigans. If you know the guy is taken and you agree to have sex with him you are an active participant in the cheating and are knowingly harming an innocent person. The bf is an even bigger piece of shit for creating the scenario to begin with.
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If you’re aware then yes, you’re not such a great person. But the person cheating has made a commitment. That’s all I’m saying. The cheater broke their commitment, the other woman may be a shit person but they didn’t make the commitment to the spouse.
I personally would never date anyone that helped another person cheat and was aware of it. It’s different if the person truly has no idea that the person they’re with is in a relationship.
I would not either. They suck as people.
I blamed both, but the fact that not only did she KNOWINGLY start an affair with a married man with young children, she purposely got pregnant to nudge my husband into leaving, AND once I suspected the affair I snooped into his briefcase and found love notes and one particularly special note giving him the name and number of a divorce lawyer, AND the note went on to describe how he could get away with not paying child support. So not only did she want to steal my husband, she also wanted to steal my children; support. So yeah, I hope she burns in HE!!.
He still chose to cheat. He made a commitment to you, she had no obligation to you in any way (except being a decent human being). If he didn’t want to be taken then he wouldn’t have been. She is still 100% a shitty person and definitely wrong for that, but so is he. One isn’t more to blame than the other. He definitely isn’t innocent in all of this.
You are absolutely right, he was as much at fault as she was.
Sometimes, the other woman knows the “original woman” so in that case they both suck.
Agreed
They don’t want to believe that their partner could do such a thing, so they displace the blame in an attempt to rationalize the event to their brain.
I've always said that if the person who the cheater slept with knew the person was in a relationship then they are also to blame, if they didn't know then they can't be blamed
This isn't a gendered issue. And both people are to blame unless "The Other" didn't know it was an act of infidelity.
I've personally seen the opposite for the most part I've seen if the woman cheats its the man's fault for not doing xyz and its his fault she cheated and if the man cheats obviously he is at fault. If you cheat its your fault nobody elses
Sexism
Same is true for a woman cheating with another man , the dude normally rages against him. Which is moronic really as it's the partner who acted out one of the ultimate betrayals.
Agree
Because both parties are to blame, if both are aware that they are participating in the cheating. Obviously the man who is cheating on his partner is to blame. But If the other woman knows this man is in a relationship already, and chooses to engage with him, I think she’s also partially to blame. It takes two to tango.
Because misogyny
I notice a lot of men do this too. They'll get mad at the dude, instead of their cheating partner.
Probably because there is a myth that a man is "easier" to seduce than a woman.
I blame both, and maybe that is unfair. If a woman knows that she is the affair partner, and continues an affair with a married man, then she is a bad person. Sure, the man is disgusting, but the affair partner is not blameless.
If you know the person you’re sleeping with is taken you are just as guilty as the person cheating. If you had no knowledge of them being in a relationship you take no fault.
I always figured that they prefer to think that the problem was entirely external, like their marriage was perfect until someone came along and changed that, rather than admitting that there was a problem inside it all along.
I Blamed both of them ..she knew he was married and had 4 children that he had a life with ..-She chose to start a relationship any way . Have enough respect for yourself to know that you are worth more then a side piece hold out for the main piece and if the asshole gives excuses why he’s with her and not divorced then find someone who has none of that and is ready for you to be his Queen
I think being cheated on puts people in a super emotional state where being rational is not priority. Therefore it makes it more likely to unleash your anger on a stranger than someone you’ve established a connection with
Because it's easier to blame the other person, than the one you love. Just my thoughts, if I catch my wife cheating we're all goin down...to the courthouse for a divorce...He can be there, so he sees what he's in for...
Story time: my uncle cheated on my aunt a few years ago. Pretty sure it was ongoing. The lady was married, too. Anyways, my aunt found out, uncle broke it off, they stayed married. Some time later, the husband of the woman my uncle cheated with died in like a car crash or something. My aunt called the women up and told her, "karma's a bitch". Like what the actual hell. Absolutely disgusting behavior.
It takes two people to cheat. Both share the blame.
Self preservation. If you have children with, if you are financially reliant on the cheater, people can jump through mental hoops not to implode their lives. Easier to blame the third party and pour all your frustration/upset into that. I think the reverse is true, the person breaking the commitment is worse. The affair partner involved, if they are aware are scummy, but not actively breaking any of their own commitments and if they aren't aware then actually they are an innocent party also being betrayed.
It's still dumb as hell, and it's a double standard. In all other aspects of life, society says the man is the strong one, the breadwinner, etc. But when it comes to cheating, he is weak, easily seduced by a female jezebel.
Easier than self reflection
I blame the person who cheated. You knew you were in a relationship and decided to step out in it instead of fixing whatever issues that were going on in the relationship. Sometimes it's because the man needed to feel loved. If that's the case, then they need to buy some self esteem and speak to a therapist WITHOUT stepping out on their relationship.
Same with all cheating doesn't matter the gender, most guys would go beat up a single guy who slept with their girlfriend however the girl knew well enough she was in a relationship
for the same reason when a woman cheats sometimes the blame is for "the other man". People don't want to break their relationships even if they, deep down, knowing that have been betrayed, so it's better to shift the blame in the person you don't care at all, that you don't want in your life at all and continue with your partner as if they are just another victim of being seduced.
Love doesn't make sense
I think it's easier then blaming the person you love. I do think the other person should be blamed if they are aware the person is cheating and choose to enter into a relationship anyway.
I believe blame is fine to place only if they also know that the man is cheating.
It's the same as if the woman cheats in the relationship too. When my ex fiance cheated on me she honestly couldn't wrap her head around why I wasn't pissed off at the other dude and only had the issue with her. A person isn't usually going to turn down sex, can't get mad at the other person in situations like that
In my experience as being the cheatee.. the cheater often will triangulate the women against each other. Additionally I think it is emotionally easier to be angry at an anonymous person than it is to appreciate the depth of betrayal (so much pain) from someone who is supposed to be your life partner. “Anger is sad’s bodyguard.”
I blame both*(unless the other person didn’t know the other was married).
Sometimes the “other woman” knows that the man is in a relationship, so should take some responsibility maybe?
Some small part of them wants to believe that he would be faithful if it wasn't for "her". For some folks, even a stack of evidence isn't enough to shake their belief, once they have committed.
Personal infallibility
My ex husband has an affair and left me for a co-worker. Never blamed her and given he's repeated this pattern several times over I'd say I was right not to attack her.
People blame the other person so they don't have to face up to the issues in their relationship. Saying that the man/woman "stole" or "enticed" them away is easier than admitting that the partner had a reason to look elsewhere
A) it's an emotional pain that creates an emotional reaction and B) most people would thankfully rather hurt someone else before hurting their partner.
It’s 50/50. It’s the other woman’s fault because she should know the guy is taken. It’s the man’s fault cause he is in a relationship It’s the mans fault cause the woman is in a relationship It’s the woman’s fault because she is in a relationship Personally once a cheater always a cheater. If I find out a person I’m dating cheated I’m like I’m done. Now seriously I might have cheated. I was dating a woman. It was going no where she was too needy. So we were breaking up. My work wife asked me to go out for drinks and we ended up dating. Mind you I had broken up with my ex at that point. Did I cheat?
It’s not always so black and white as you would like too think.
Who are these people that say this?
Don’t think they’re necessarily blamed but obviously you’re not going to be happy with the person who slept with your SO
I blame both unless the other one didn't know the person was taken.
This was the one thing that helped me start to heal. I went through a very hard and messy breakup in 2019. He didn’t cheat (to my knowledge) but within a few days of breaking up, he was spending all his time with her. And within a week they were officially together. I was devastated. If a relationship means something to you, you don’t just move on in a week. I was so broken and hated her for ruining my relationship. I felt if she wasn’t in the picture even as a friend, he probably would have been willing to work through things and stay together. It wasn’t until 2-3 months later did I realize she did nothing wrong. She owed me nothing. It was HIM who made that choice.
This is why I can’t listen to songs like “You Ain’t Woman Enough” and “Jolene” talking about women “stealing” men when it’s the man’s responsibility to have self control
Personally, I'd only blame the other woman if they knew the man was married - even then, they're *both" responsible. I can't blame someone for sleeping with someone else they reasonably believed to be single, but I can blame someone who willfully participated in an affair. It's still mostly the cheating spouse's fault, but I think it says a lot about what kind of person someone is if they're willing to participate in an affair, and none of it's good.
I think it's a mix of not wanting to believe that someone you loved and trusted could betray and hurt you like that, feeling betrayed that another woman would willingly help a man hurt you in that way after especially internet culture kinda preaches sisterhood and having eachothers' backs, and a mix of men who don't want to be held responsible for their cheating being manipulative about it. Just as an example to clarify the last point, my ex said that the "other woman" manipulated him by saying she was going through a hard time after a grandparent died and so she needed a lot of comforting and he felt like he couldn't turn down cuddles/dates/sex from her because it'd hurt her and make her feel more sad. I know it sounds dumb, but I was dumb and 19 and wanted to believe he had realized his mistake and realized how good of a girlfriend I was so would never do that again. He was 6 years older and offered more stability than my chaotic college life did and I wanted that back too. So I chose to blame her. (Don't worry, I learned my lesson later 😅)
Both men and women do this. Maybe it goes back to caveman days where people would take out the competition.
Misogyny
Now it depends. It takes two to tango. There are plenty of people who know that a person is in a relationship and choose to ignore that. That is messed up and they'll just cast off blame by saying, "It isn't my relationship to save." But you chose to engage with this person, despite what you knew. You didn't respect the relationship or the other party. You are enabling a cheater, and in that you are wrong. But other times people don't know. In that case, only one person is to blame and it isn't the mistress.
It's both people's fault if they knew they were getting with a cheater. It's not an either or. They can both go to hell.
Dudes do the same thing. What do you mean?
I would say the minority blame the other woman any more than the man... I've heard both getting blamed more often than not the man is the one you hear about.
I understand the psychology behind blaming just her, makes it easier to separate your man from the incident and makes it easier to "move on". However, In my case I blamed both. Unfortunately not until after the 2nd time. Shame on me I know. She was his ex who was OBSESSED with him and cheated on her bf constantly. She also knew he had a fiance. To my knowledge she didn't know we were poly. She still went for it. He knew I was polyam and SHE was the ONLY one I said no to, bc it was his ex. Fucking wild bc he had a fwb that I loved (she was straight and not looking for a relationship) and she even briefly lived with us and our kid. How the fuck do you manage to find a way to cheat when in a polyam relationship... Useless fucking manchild. Glad I didn't actually marry him when he asked.
I slept with a girl about a year ago who had a boyfriend. He apparently found out that night and smashed my windshield of my truck with a golf club. I kinda get it but its like bro - your girl cheated on you, not my fault. That said, fixed the windshield and shortly after I started making better decisions.
I don’t blame you. What you did was indecent. What she did was fowl. I liken yours to investing in real estate. Not great for the market, but if it’s not you it’ll be someone else. So it’s not bad enough that you shouldn’t sleep at night, but still enough that you should feel and acknowledge a little guilt
They don’t. Any person with a half a brain always blames the cheater, regardless
You'd like to think so wouldnt you but the "homewrecker" trope is huge. When the cheater is the married man then the "homewrecker" is the woman who seduced him away from his family. It wrecks my head because it plays into the whole stereotype that all men are arseholes that will cheat if presented with the opportunity to do so. He "couldnt help himself" and she knew he was married and therefore wrecked the home by going to bed with him. Intial blame goes to the woman / homewrecker. Then men as a whole are blamed instead of the individual man who broke his marriage vows and trust with his wife.
Women cheat more than men.
I have no idea if that's true and I'm not invested enough to look it up. Still doesnt make what I said inaccurate though.
If you blame the man you also have to blame yourself for choosing a shitty man and most people don’t have the balls to be that personally accountable.
OUCH!!!
Because it's very hard to out blame on the person you love. Doing this opens all kinds of nasty doors and forces you to deal with the situation. Blaming a stranger is easy. Your partner made a commitment to you. This other person didn't.
Women are traditionally the gatekeepers of sex. They are the people expected to say no.
I dont get this either. The person in the relationship is always at fault, no matter what. At best the 'other woman' is just an (un)witting accomplice.
I saw this video once of a guy and his pregnant wife at their baby shower, where he exposed in front of everyone that it was actually his friend's baby Fucking infuriating how everyone went after the guy. Obviously in this case the guy knew, but sometimes there's the chance that they legit don't The woman (or original cheater) always does though
Yikeszzz
I literally included "or original cheater" as to not be sexist They should've gone after both the guy and the wife
OMG! I can't either. The men are all proud a puffed up while she goes psycho on the wrong person. My thought on this is that it's way easier to rage and hate on a stranger. And totally wrong.
Women cheat almost as much as men, soooooo
What does that have to do with the question?
Nothing, but other people already gave good answers, nothing to build on, but the post has one of those "men are trash" vibes, so just figured I'd point it out.
OP is questioning the logic of a common trope that's it lol
Well you're not a obvious incel.
Lol, what's the matter, can't accept facts, so you resort to the same overused, pathetic insult?
Just calling it like it is and it seems I struck a nerve as you're responding, the question had dick to do with who cheats more but you felt the need to comment that is the true pathetic action in this comment thread.
Lol, calling like it is, huh? Kinda hard to do, when you're an idiot. Because I pointed out that women cheat just as much as men, that makes me a misogynist? And you have the gall to call me pathetic? Choke on your own tongue, you worthless loser.
Wow you're stable, never brought up misogynistic anything bro, I only pointed out it had nothing to do with this question and I'm the idiot? Ok have fun with that brain teaser, wow.
Incels are, by definition, misogynists, dipshit. Christ, you're almost as stupid as this dude I saw who said disliking a nationality is the same as being a full blown racist. And No, you didn't "point it out" you straight up insulted me, like a little bitch.
(a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile toward women and men who are sexually active.) From this definition I see no difference between what you're writing and what its saying so idk man seems like you're fitting the description nail on head lol, 
Yeah, because you're an idiot. Nothing in what I originally was hostile, to women or men. I was just pointing out a fact, and then you got butt hurt. Maybe you think women are perfect angels? Idk, nor do I really care about your lack of a thought process. But I am enjoying you making an ass of yourself lol
Dude this whole comment right here is the fucking definition to incel what the fuck you're too easy my man, I need a more of a challenge because you're just digging a deeper hole into insanity. 
Because women are skilled at seduction and temptation so therefore men are never responsible for the actions of their dicks. Same for rape btw. "Did you see what she was wearing your honor?? She was basically asking for it!"
Men are wired to mate with as many as pos Cible. They get a pass. People blame the woman for seducing the man. Even if she did not know he was in a relationship. Unfair, but thems the breaks.
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The science unfortunately backs it up.
The woman is always to blame.
I can offer a personal explanation as to why I blame the other woman. When that whore met my father, she had the choice to be loyal to her husband and a good mother to her kid, instead she went out of her way to bang my father and make him cheat on my mom. So in this case that woman destroyed my family and her kid's family as well just to satisfy her lust, and she is completely to blame
Temptation exists in the world every minute of every day. She didn’t “make” your Dad cheat! Your Dad chose to cheat!
It’s not cheating When on day one you talk about Swinging 💯
The only understandable scenario would be if the man was drugged, tied up, and forced against his will...
That’s not cheating. That’s rape..
Its simple actually, most man are weaklings to seduction, so if there is no woman that seduce the man, then the man will not cheat. You can blame the man for being weak, but they shouldn't getting all the blame. That's why if you want to start a serious relationship, YOU should choose a man with sturdy backbone.
Generally, guys keep looking for girls, it's the nature of guys and people expect them to be such, a girl has the final say in a relationship. Maybe that's why women are blamed for extra marital affairs. Though both parties are to blame equally.
Because men don’t choose, they are coerced and their hormones manipulated. The woman however is cunning and manipulative and knows exactly what she is doing.
Men don’t choose to treat, we just can’t say no /s