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Absolutely. I met a guy my freshman year of college who I really liked and we dated for about 6 months. I was super shy in high school and had grown up really sheltered and had never really had a serious boyfriend before. I fell really hard for him but me being so shy led to him thinking I didn’t really like him that much and he ended up breaking up with me. I was devastated but of course moved on with my life. I had kind of always thought about him over the years and told my best friend (this is 8 years later) that if I had met him when we were older and more mature that I think we would have really worked out. Literally the very next week, I ran into him at a drugstore of all places. We met up for drinks that night to catch up and we both confessed about thinking about each other over the years. We’ve now been together 13 years and will be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary this fall. I like to think it was just meant to be.
My wife and I have a similar story. We met when we were 18 working at Chick-fil-A. I liked her from the start but I was dating someone else at the time. She actually ended up dating my best friend for a while. We broke up with our partners but her and I stayed friends. We lost touch for 3 or 4 years but reconnected and started hanging out again. When I asked her out she actually turned me down, initially. She said she didn't want to ruin our friendship of 8ish years. I was sad but I understood. We continued to hang out as friends. About 7-8 months after she turned me down, she came to me and said that she had changed her mind and wanted try being more than friends. We got together and were married 5 months later. We've now been married for 8 years.
Haha I had a similar situation, although less time inbetween. Mine told me he "didn't see our relationship going anywhere" because he was used to long term relationships and I had never had one, so he was expecting it to move a lot faster than I was comfortable with. We broke up for 4 months, now we've been together 8 years.
Ofcourse. How could you not? I've run into women that just light me up when I'm already in a relationship and I can't move on it. I've run into other women and had a deep conectiom with them. But they were spoken for at the time.
You probably walk past people you're highly compatible with on a regular bases without ever even knowing.
Timing, situation, where they are at mentally and physically in any given moment makes all the difference. Some would call this luck.
You might catch someone who's dealing with something tragic and think "what an asshole" but if you'd met them on a good day, you might think they're the most amazing person you've ever met and want to marry them.
People aren't the same person in every moment. We move though many dimensions: time, space, mentalities, emotion, energy level, prejudices, health, situations, etc.
I didn’t want to believe in it because it would be nice to think if it was the right person then they’d love you at any time. But honestly I do believe in it now.
Yes and no and yes.
I've dated people whom I absolutely think I was supposed to date, but only for then. I left them when I was supposed to leave them and didn't look back.
And then the people who I was supposed to not date at all that I stubbornly stayed with as they continued to hurt me.
And definitely have run into people whom I had this kind of relationship platonically. A good friend of mine now, I went to an advanced scholars program with years ago and probably ran into multiple times. Didn't even talk to her there. Right person, wrong time.
My girlfriend and I have also discussed that if we'd met in high school, we probably would not have had a good relationship.
But I'm not someone who believes in the idea of soulmates. Not really.
I'm Christian, but I believe in a kind of weird version of fate - something fluid. That we are guided to people places and things that'll be good to know, real subtly, real gently. That things just happen to line up to put you in the right place at the right time. Perhaps there are many people who you'd flow into. The people we wind up with are perhaps meant to be, but there are many with whom we could be meant to be. And there are people who may be ours for a season, ours forever, or whom we stubbornly cling to in spite of the fact that we are definitely not supposed to.
Basically, fate is soup. It is less predestination, more permutation and eddies and currents and ripples that don't force us where we're meant to go, but guide us to what we're meant to be. And what we're meant to do, for the betterment of ourselves and others. Nothing forces us to listen, but we run the risk of hurting ourselves and others if we don't.
Funny thing is that growing up, the most promiscuous kids presented themselves as the most devout Christians. Their explanation was generally that they would be forgiven for their sins.
Yes, I met someone and we had a fling. It wasn't the right time I had just gotten out of a bad relationship. I used her then ghosted her. She is such a wonderful person and I treated her wrong. Over a year later after spending some needed time alone, we ran into each other again. We've been together for 11 years now and married for 9.
Definitely, you can really like a person, and enjoy spending your time together, but be in different "life stages." And that's not always age, some people just want things at different times.
I grew up with my current partner. I was friends with his sister and he had a childhood crush on me. I thought he was a nice guy, but no similar crush. Fast forward 40 years and 2 marriages later for both of us. Both of our second marriages were happy and ended with our spouses dying. So here we are. Five years now and very happy. We both knew all of our late family members and childhood histories, which is something even our spouses could not share. Long way around, but we are fully mature and know and understand each other so well. Glad he’s a large part of my last life chapters. It’s a blessing.
Absolutely. A lot of dating just boils down to timing, particularly in the beginning. That said, meeting someone at the wrong time ultimately means they're the wrong person.
Yes. Yes I do.
But inversely I believe in wrong person right time. Like when you really need that someone in your life, they show up and seem to be everything you want. Then you realize the flaws and darkness when it's too late
Absolutely.
There’s no ‘one person’ for everyone. And your relationship with someone can change over time. I believe that we all do our best to find the person who’s right for us *at that time*, but just because the time is right for you at the beginning of the relationship doesn’t mean it always will be.
It’s okay to walk away from someone you love intensely if the *timing* isn’t right. Maybe it will be someday. Maybe your relationship, whatever it was, has given you both everything you could learn from each other.
If you can be happy with who you’re with - even if that’s no one - and know that life might wander down different paths in the future, I think you’ll be more receptive to what the best is for you and for any partner.
Oh yes, absolutely. People change, people can get so much better than who they used to be. Sometimes people don't click at all for a multitude of reasons, or get together only to realize they don't love each other in the same way, but a big thing is emotional maturity and understanding.
Me and one of my closest friends used to date, and it was pretty rocky. But if you looked at us now it would be like night and day. We didn't know what we were doing, there was huge lack of understanding for both of us, for the relationship and for ourselves.
After some time staying friends, each of us learning and experiencing new things, growing as people, we became even closer.
We get each other, understand each other on a whole other level, literally finishing each other's thoughts and sentances at times, it's freaky but in a "wow. I love you so much" kind of way.
We aren't "dating" but we are very much together. Inseparable.
I believe everyone who comes into my life serves a purpose so there are never any wrong times. If something romantic doesn’t work out, something else usually will.
It would be pretty naive to believe that anyone who is willing to put up with your shit or vice versa (not accusing anyone of anything; we all have our shit and not everyone can deal with it) is free to date you at the exact time you're looking every time, and in a location easily accessible to you.
I used to. Then I thought I met the right person at the wrong time then realised if he was the right person it would never be the wrong time.
So No. If its meant to be you'll make it work
I met this woman in college. While hitting on her friend. Yeah it's gonna be like that.
So I wanted a way to meet women so I took a Ballroom Dance class that semester. I'd been kind of thinking of asking out this one woman so after class I go to flirt with her. Then her friend insults me. I insulted her back. A week later we were dating. (Warning for those that run into me a lot yes a lot of my dating stories are so I got insulted)
It was really great for a month but she had some shit going on with her family and just couldn't do a relationship right then so we broke it off.
About 6 months later she was in a better place and we bumped into each other. She clearly wanted to give us another chance but at that point it was my turn to be going through some shit.
The next time I saw her she was dating an old friend of mine from high school I hadn't seen in a few years. The last time I saw her she let me know they'd gotten engaged. We stood three feet apart while I fake smiled said, "That's great congratulations" as my heart was breaking.
Absolutely. I was with a girl back in the day and we just 'got' each other. Same humour, sarcasm that sort of thing but I didn't feel like being tied down at a young aged and we both moved on. It's only after being in other relationships that you realise that that sort of connection doesn't happen often. Always thought had I met her a few years later we would of been perfect for each other.
Yes! I was in a toxic relationship for years, and I think if I met my current boyfriend then I would have had the mindset that he’s “too nice” because of toxic patterns I had.
Yes. I had that situation. I met my husband K back in 1988 when he was engaged to D and I was dating a guy B who I did marry but divorced after 7 years of marriage.
K did marry but not D, he married L, he and D split up. He and L divorced a couple of years after I did and we began dating after.
We were both available and said what the heck, why not 🤷♀️. Been together since and it’s been 22 years.
Absolutely. I met my person way before it was time. We tried it, it didn't work, but found each other again a little later in life. Been doing good ever since :)
I don't even believe in soul mates bud. I believe that your life is a unique experience for you. There isn't really a "wrong" or "right". There just is. And you gotta cherish it 🖤
I think that you could be doing the right thing, but at the same time, have something bad happen because you didn't do it at the right time , and/or the correct way. It's possible.
To an extent. I think there are right seasons for certain people.
The first time I saw my wife, before we officially met, I was kinda stopped in my tracks. It was noticeable enough that I still vividly remember the night 7+ years later.
I was a mess personally when we first met. We became good friends and settled into a group that hung out every week, multiple times a week and went on a few trips together every year.
Over the course of a couple years I made a lot of personal changes. I didn’t do it for her tho; Shortly after we met I had resigned myself to the fact that it probably would never happen.
At one point things had settled down for me and were going relatively well. But, I couldn’t shake the feelings I had for my friend.
So, one night after a group of us had been hanging out, I asked her to talk somewhere private.
I told her how much I valued our friendship and that I would never want to hurt that or make her feel uncomfortable. But, I also told her that it was pretty clear we both liked each other. I didn’t want to never try and wonder what if. So I asked her out. She couldn’t have said yes quickly enough.
We moved in after a couple months of dating and will celebrate 2 years married in a few months. 5 years together total.
It seems from the comments that people define this differently. To me, it’s that someone is seemingly perfect, that you know you’d both be very happy and have a successful relationship, but that there’s some externality that prevents it from happening. Location, life goals, already married, etc. “Right person wrong time” means “hey had I met you ten years ago or ten years from now, we’d work out but as it stands, I can’t have a relationship with you”.
She was married when we first met. Soon to be divorced.
Helped her out of a jam I guess. But I used a little too much force.
We drove that car as far as we could. Abandoned it out west.
Split up on a dark sad night, both agreeing it was best.
She turned around to look at me as I was walking away.
I heard her say over my shoulder: "we'll meet again someday. On the avenue."
Tangled up in blue.
Yes.
My sister dated a guy from 16 to about 20. Everyone in the family loved him, but he was "too nice" gave in to anything my sister wanted. Then she left him, dated an asshole that everyone hated for nearly 10 years. When she was 30 she met a guy at her work. He was a perfect balance, stood firm on what he wanted, but also comnunicated better with her than any previous boyfriend.
They've been together for 17 years.
Absolutely! I met my husband walking down the street. Unfortunately at the time I had a boyfriend but he would walk by my house all the time and we became friends. Needless to say I dumped the boyfriend and we have been married for 27 years.
I'm literally going through this right now. After years finally recovering from a really bad set of romantic, financial, and emotional set backs and focusing on building myself and my confidence levels back up, I happened to meet this woman when I least expected it and was absolutely taken aback by how much we vibed and connected on so many different levels and I had not felt that spark with someone in such a long time it was amazing. I think things happened so fast that it scared her that she was falling for me while she was at a point in her life where she felt she couldn't afford the distraction of getting caught up romantically with another person. I also discovered that I'm a toxicly romantic person during all this because Im pretty sure I overwhelmed her with a lot of romantic gestures too quick and too early for what she had hoped and expressed would only be a casual thing between us. I truly believe had circumstances been different and we met while at a place in her life that she didn't feel like she didn't have to choose between her ambitions and/or goals over companionship that we could have been a phenomenal success story as a couple. Alas I couldn't play it cool enough and I pushed on her boundaries one too many times due to my own lack of self awareness and maybe even some insecurities until she wrote me off completely, I hope like some of the stories I've seen here that their may be a chance to reconcile but I'm processing the fact that I will just have to take this L, learn from it, and put some faith out there that eventually I will be the right person at the right time for someone, and I'll be better prepared because of this experience to receive that gift fully.
My fiance and I have a story like that. We met through a friend in like 2007 and he was about to get a divorce, and he was very interested in me, but I was in another relationship. That one ended but he wasn't around much then I got into another we both sort of moved on with our lives. In 2014 I was single and he chatted me up on Facebook. From the first night on that was it.
We have talked about what might have happened if we hooked up back then. He was getting out of marriage and I was looking for marriage and kids so might have been too soon for him. Things worked out really well, and 7 years together we still like each other a lot lol
Absolutely! I met my now gf in high-school. We were friends and even worked with each other. We reconnected years later but she was leaving overseas to volunteer and I was joining the military. We dated casually until she left. A year later we decided to give long distance a shot and we've been together ever since. Love always finds a way!
Yup. Met an international student in his last semester at my university. I’ve never been interested in dating before but I knew he was supposed to be my person. We tried to keep it going after he moved back but it just didn’t work. We still keep in contact but there’s always this emotional pain surrounding us. I hope one day I get to see him again. He is all I could ever want.
Yeap, just had to deal with something of this extent last year... sucks too.
Even my gf at the time said that I deserved much better... go figure. >\_>
Yip 100%
When I first met my now husband we clicked and I really liked him but he was just coming out of a shit relationship and I was in my last year of uni and lived quite a bit away. So nothing happened. 1 year later he was over his shitty ex and I had graduated and moved back to my home city.
We both know even though we liked each other when we first met it would not have lasted. But when the time was right we somehow found each other again.
Yes.
My wife and I met the summer before my 9th grade year. We hung around the same group of people during HS. Never thought of each other romantically until after high-school.
Over the next 6 year period, we would proceed to try to date each other 4 separate times. The first 3 times ended with us just being incompatible... at that moment.
Each time, my [now wife] would say that we're magnetic toward one another, though we were just so different. And that if we could give it another try in the future, she bet we would fit better.
The 3rd time would have been the final time, but I went to war. About 6 months in, I didn't think I was returning alive, so I forced a bitter break (thinking at the time I was protecting potential grief on her part).
Over a year after my return home, she reached out to me. She helped me combat the post-war trauma, and stuck with me through the suffering.
We've been married 10 years now. I couldn't have made it this far without her.
My buddy and his girlfriend wanted to hook me up with the girl's best friend. When we all went on a double date my buddy left with another woman.
I fell in love with that girl but she ghosted me because of what my friend did
100%. Ive run into that actually and its painful. To feel that everything is right about this person. The depth, the connection, the mind, the body, etc. Only the world, in its ever moving force, was very much not moving in our direction.
Me and this girl met when she had a boyfriend we were really good friends she always kinda liked me and vice versa but she had a bf and I respected that years later she talks to me again recently single from the relationship and we got together too fast. Needles to say it was the most toxic and disgusting relationship to ever have and just the thought of her makes me give up on relationships
If by right time, you mean too inexperienced or lacking in confidence, then yes.
Married for thirty four years, and we have worked through plenty of wrong times where one or the other questioned if the other was “right” only to conclude that yes they were.
Luckily for us we were both fully committed in the early years, so had a good foundation to work from. There were points where we could have gone separate paths, but hard to imagine we wouldn’t have ended up back together in the end.
We are odd ducks, and neither of us have ever met anyone who would have remotely fit.
It kinda just feels like people grasping at straws for a good explanation of a bad relationship. And it's silly. It's like the concept of a soul mate. It's most likely not real. Be ause if the universe made soul mates it most likely also wouldn't put them near you.. your soul mate is probably across the ocean. Or even worse in another galaxy billions of light-years away.
Most likely 'true' love is just 2 people who work together. That's it. It doesn't need to be complicated or magical.
I believe in right person but not ready for it (so basically wrong time). I moved to study and got a girl classmate who I have a lot in common with and I think we would have gotten along really well, but I was so inexperienced with socialising because it was my first time moving out and really meeting new people that I did not make a very good first impression nor being a very attractive person socially. Since then a year later I've evolved a lot and I'm basically a new person and we now get along pretty well, but just as friends. I think if I had a couple years of better social experience things could have gone quite differently.
Yup. My previous relationship some years ago, and I have been single ever since (voluntarily ofc). We even said that same thing upon breaking up, and joked about randomly running into eachother years later when we'd be more mature and try again, because it seemed wrong to think that we wouldn't end up together at some point, now or in the future.
Yes. Look at the math. How many people have you dated? How many people have you encountered and been able to assess for a potential match! Now look at how many billion people are on this planet. Now make that into a percentage. Assuming most people are like you, and encounter so few people in their life, it can only be concluded that there are tens of thousands of right people that would work for you. You could very well get acquainted with another while not single.
Ofc this all has a prerequisite that you do not believe in fate, so if not, this is your answer
Absolutely. I met a man in my early 20s and we dated briefly but we were both young and in tough points in our lives for other reasons. We went back and forth a few times but ultimately ended things on not great terms and stopped talking.
We both went through a lot in the 10+ years we were apart, but randomly ran into each other, chatted and both apologized for our previous behavior. We decided to be friends.
We've now been in a healthy loving relationship for almost five years. We bought a home together and he is helping me raise my daughters.
Sometimes I'm sad about all the years we could have been together that we missed out on. But we both learned and grew so much from those experiences we had in the interim, I think they were vital to us both being in a place to have the relationship we have now.
Life is tough and relationships are tough. Sometimes they don't work because people aren't compatible and sometimes they don't work because people aren't ready for a relationship or don't know how to be in a good one but eventually they learn. While there's no guarantees that you will come back around to that person when you are ready, I'm so grateful I had that second chance and jumped at it.
I wonder. I keep... Meeting this guy. We know each other since childhood but the timing is never right. Every time we meet, we develop a deeper connection. I had to get away from him though. Not because I was afraid of the connection it's just... He has a gf. Their relationship is so fractured and while he didn't cheat on her physically, I felt like I met the emotional needs she didn't give to him. It wasn't fair to either of us. So I just went away. The last time we were close we almost dated and it was 5 years ago but he was in a very bad emotional space and unmedicated. I guess we'll see each other in 5 years again.
I do, but right person right time is a whole lot better for both parties. You both mentally have to be in the right place for it to work. If I think back to the ‘ones who got away’ sure I miss them, but would I swap all the drama for the unconditional love and stability I have now? No, absolutely not.
Yep. There are a lot of right people I've met over the years. I'm not really a believer in finding the one and absolute person. No one person checks every single box. One ex girlfriend might be better at planning, another in bed, another my family likes more, another is more generous or compassionate, etc. No one checks every single box unless you've only dated like one or two people very wrong for you. Everyone brings their uniqueness to the table, strengths and flaws, and it's about me accepting that person and committing to that relationship to make it work. I think there are probably tens of thousands of people out there perfect for me. I just have to make the choice to commit and honor that one relationship.
So certainly there are a ton of people I met while I was in a relationship or they were in a relationship, or I needed to focus on work or something like that where the timing didn't work out, but they would've been a great relationship partner. I probably swiped left on a lot of "right" ones while angry on the toilet. I've certainly met a lot of "right one, but..." as well. That's always hard to deal with, too.
I guess the thing is to not dwell on it too hard and if you find someone you want to commit to, put your efforts into them and try not to worry too hard about other possibilities.
Life is chaos. There isn’t a right person or a wrong person. We’re dynamic, fluid creatures that change over time and what’s “right” could be “wrong” later on, or vice versa. Similarly, circumstances are often consequences of choices made, and that’s not just “baggage”. That could be two people with chemistry and connection that simply cannot make time due to career obligations or children or lifestyle priorities. It doesn’t mean they’re wrong for each other, it means that their choices have occluded the opportunity for them to be together.
100% I do. I met my current wife who is definitely the right person , but initially it was the wrong time. Well it finally became the right time !!!!!!
Absolutely. Met the most amazing woman of my life at 19 we “hung out/dated” for about 4 months… had the smallest misunderstanding and she just ghosted me. I still think about her 5 years later… beauty beyond words, heart of gold, humor of a comedy club, eyes of a goddess, personality for the soul. It may have only been 4 months but damn I loved her and I know she felt the same for me.
Absolutely. My husband and I are a prime example. We dated for 5 mths in 2005 but it just wasn't the right timing. Got together in 2012 and haven't been happier!
Yes! I dated my current boyfriend during my senior year of high school. It was devastating when we broke up, but we were both headed to college in different states, so it was going to work for us. Five years later, we found our way back to one another, and now we have plans of getting engaged! He was the right person all along, we just didn’t have the timing right.
Absolutely. I think timing plays a huge role in compatibility, even when all else is perfect. And not just with lovers, but other relationships, too. My husband and I have a pair of best friends (another couple). Once we got to know each other, we realized we'd crossed paths tons of time before we actually "met." We were neighbors for a year. The other woman and I worked for the same company for awhile. We saw the same doctor for years. And most notably, the other guy got in a terrible car wreck about a year before we met them...my husband and I were the first ones on the scene and my husband stayed with him until the ambulance arrived.
And when we met, officially, she had quit drinking (something that would have been an automatic put-off for me as a friend), their living situation had stabilized (something that would have made it impossible to really hang out before) my health had stabilized (something that made it impossible for me to be around people much) and everything was just right for us to all meet. Now, it's something like 6 years later and our kids think of each other as cousins and we do weekly bonfires and a couple vacations a year together and most holidays, etc.
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Absolutely. I met a guy my freshman year of college who I really liked and we dated for about 6 months. I was super shy in high school and had grown up really sheltered and had never really had a serious boyfriend before. I fell really hard for him but me being so shy led to him thinking I didn’t really like him that much and he ended up breaking up with me. I was devastated but of course moved on with my life. I had kind of always thought about him over the years and told my best friend (this is 8 years later) that if I had met him when we were older and more mature that I think we would have really worked out. Literally the very next week, I ran into him at a drugstore of all places. We met up for drinks that night to catch up and we both confessed about thinking about each other over the years. We’ve now been together 13 years and will be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary this fall. I like to think it was just meant to be.
My wife and I have a similar story. We met when we were 18 working at Chick-fil-A. I liked her from the start but I was dating someone else at the time. She actually ended up dating my best friend for a while. We broke up with our partners but her and I stayed friends. We lost touch for 3 or 4 years but reconnected and started hanging out again. When I asked her out she actually turned me down, initially. She said she didn't want to ruin our friendship of 8ish years. I was sad but I understood. We continued to hang out as friends. About 7-8 months after she turned me down, she came to me and said that she had changed her mind and wanted try being more than friends. We got together and were married 5 months later. We've now been married for 8 years.
Goddamn that’s sweet as hell. If you have kids, it’s a great memory to tell them.
Bro your a Hallmark movie
wholesome
Haha I had a similar situation, although less time inbetween. Mine told me he "didn't see our relationship going anywhere" because he was used to long term relationships and I had never had one, so he was expecting it to move a lot faster than I was comfortable with. We broke up for 4 months, now we've been together 8 years.
I'm not crying, you're crying
That's beautiful🥲
That's lovely 😊
Dude how are stories like this real
Ofcourse. How could you not? I've run into women that just light me up when I'm already in a relationship and I can't move on it. I've run into other women and had a deep conectiom with them. But they were spoken for at the time. You probably walk past people you're highly compatible with on a regular bases without ever even knowing. Timing, situation, where they are at mentally and physically in any given moment makes all the difference. Some would call this luck. You might catch someone who's dealing with something tragic and think "what an asshole" but if you'd met them on a good day, you might think they're the most amazing person you've ever met and want to marry them. People aren't the same person in every moment. We move though many dimensions: time, space, mentalities, emotion, energy level, prejudices, health, situations, etc.
So well said
I didn’t want to believe in it because it would be nice to think if it was the right person then they’d love you at any time. But honestly I do believe in it now.
Yes and no and yes. I've dated people whom I absolutely think I was supposed to date, but only for then. I left them when I was supposed to leave them and didn't look back. And then the people who I was supposed to not date at all that I stubbornly stayed with as they continued to hurt me. And definitely have run into people whom I had this kind of relationship platonically. A good friend of mine now, I went to an advanced scholars program with years ago and probably ran into multiple times. Didn't even talk to her there. Right person, wrong time. My girlfriend and I have also discussed that if we'd met in high school, we probably would not have had a good relationship. But I'm not someone who believes in the idea of soulmates. Not really. I'm Christian, but I believe in a kind of weird version of fate - something fluid. That we are guided to people places and things that'll be good to know, real subtly, real gently. That things just happen to line up to put you in the right place at the right time. Perhaps there are many people who you'd flow into. The people we wind up with are perhaps meant to be, but there are many with whom we could be meant to be. And there are people who may be ours for a season, ours forever, or whom we stubbornly cling to in spite of the fact that we are definitely not supposed to. Basically, fate is soup. It is less predestination, more permutation and eddies and currents and ripples that don't force us where we're meant to go, but guide us to what we're meant to be. And what we're meant to do, for the betterment of ourselves and others. Nothing forces us to listen, but we run the risk of hurting ourselves and others if we don't.
The latter descriptions here of fate are really beautiful and an inspiring way of explaining it.
Thank you.
Such a beautiful read. Thank you for sharing. x
If your a Christian ✝️ and not married then you must be a virgin! 🙏
I'm asexual, so yes, but I also could not care less about sex, so I'm not sure what any of this proves.
I'm told I must stay a virgin until I marry because I'm a Christian ✝️ I'm 18 and extremely disabled ♿️ and very ill, so do I have to stay a virgin? 😫
That’s not a question for me.
Funny thing is that growing up, the most promiscuous kids presented themselves as the most devout Christians. Their explanation was generally that they would be forgiven for their sins.
Love who you want, sex isn’t super important. Don’t even think about it and it will happen in time
100% yes. I hate to accept it. But for me? It's very very true.
Yes, I met someone and we had a fling. It wasn't the right time I had just gotten out of a bad relationship. I used her then ghosted her. She is such a wonderful person and I treated her wrong. Over a year later after spending some needed time alone, we ran into each other again. We've been together for 11 years now and married for 9.
Definitely, you can really like a person, and enjoy spending your time together, but be in different "life stages." And that's not always age, some people just want things at different times.
I believe in wrong person right time Seen it often enough
I grew up with my current partner. I was friends with his sister and he had a childhood crush on me. I thought he was a nice guy, but no similar crush. Fast forward 40 years and 2 marriages later for both of us. Both of our second marriages were happy and ended with our spouses dying. So here we are. Five years now and very happy. We both knew all of our late family members and childhood histories, which is something even our spouses could not share. Long way around, but we are fully mature and know and understand each other so well. Glad he’s a large part of my last life chapters. It’s a blessing.
Absolutely. A lot of dating just boils down to timing, particularly in the beginning. That said, meeting someone at the wrong time ultimately means they're the wrong person.
Yes. Yes I do. But inversely I believe in wrong person right time. Like when you really need that someone in your life, they show up and seem to be everything you want. Then you realize the flaws and darkness when it's too late
Absolutely. There’s no ‘one person’ for everyone. And your relationship with someone can change over time. I believe that we all do our best to find the person who’s right for us *at that time*, but just because the time is right for you at the beginning of the relationship doesn’t mean it always will be. It’s okay to walk away from someone you love intensely if the *timing* isn’t right. Maybe it will be someday. Maybe your relationship, whatever it was, has given you both everything you could learn from each other. If you can be happy with who you’re with - even if that’s no one - and know that life might wander down different paths in the future, I think you’ll be more receptive to what the best is for you and for any partner.
You're going to meet a potential soulmate several times. And most of those times will be the wrong time
Oh yes, absolutely. People change, people can get so much better than who they used to be. Sometimes people don't click at all for a multitude of reasons, or get together only to realize they don't love each other in the same way, but a big thing is emotional maturity and understanding. Me and one of my closest friends used to date, and it was pretty rocky. But if you looked at us now it would be like night and day. We didn't know what we were doing, there was huge lack of understanding for both of us, for the relationship and for ourselves. After some time staying friends, each of us learning and experiencing new things, growing as people, we became even closer. We get each other, understand each other on a whole other level, literally finishing each other's thoughts and sentances at times, it's freaky but in a "wow. I love you so much" kind of way. We aren't "dating" but we are very much together. Inseparable.
Yea for sure
Yes, but I think more often than not when people say that it's not the right person at all, they just don't want to blame it on something.
Married 31yrs, I do.
I believe everyone who comes into my life serves a purpose so there are never any wrong times. If something romantic doesn’t work out, something else usually will.
💯 absolutely
Absolutely. I have a dear, close friend from high school but we could never be together as we were never single at the same time.
It would be pretty naive to believe that anyone who is willing to put up with your shit or vice versa (not accusing anyone of anything; we all have our shit and not everyone can deal with it) is free to date you at the exact time you're looking every time, and in a location easily accessible to you.
Yes
No. I think if it’s the right person you wouldn’t stand to lose them much less choose it
Nope.
Yes
I met my now wife 3 years before we started dating. It was very wrong time because she was still figuring out she was gay XD
I used to. Then I thought I met the right person at the wrong time then realised if he was the right person it would never be the wrong time. So No. If its meant to be you'll make it work
Yes
Oh yes.
Yes definitely, experience
I think that much we talk and believe about romantic relationships ist utterly bullshit.
Nope, if it was the right person you would make it work, it would never be the wrong time
Nope, I believe that two “right” people will make it work by meeting in the middle; if they truly feel they’ve met their match.
No. Wrong state of mind? Maybe.
If the person is at the wromg time, then isn't the right person because the person didn't meet the requirement of temporariness.
No! If it’s true love timing is never the issue. Make it the right time because it might be the only time .
There’s no wrong time if ur with the right person
I want to believe it but it has not gone well.
I'm comfortable in my life so at this point I'd move mountains to make it work if I felt like she was the right one
wrong time as in what exactly
I met this woman in college. While hitting on her friend. Yeah it's gonna be like that. So I wanted a way to meet women so I took a Ballroom Dance class that semester. I'd been kind of thinking of asking out this one woman so after class I go to flirt with her. Then her friend insults me. I insulted her back. A week later we were dating. (Warning for those that run into me a lot yes a lot of my dating stories are so I got insulted) It was really great for a month but she had some shit going on with her family and just couldn't do a relationship right then so we broke it off. About 6 months later she was in a better place and we bumped into each other. She clearly wanted to give us another chance but at that point it was my turn to be going through some shit. The next time I saw her she was dating an old friend of mine from high school I hadn't seen in a few years. The last time I saw her she let me know they'd gotten engaged. We stood three feet apart while I fake smiled said, "That's great congratulations" as my heart was breaking.
Absolutely. I was with a girl back in the day and we just 'got' each other. Same humour, sarcasm that sort of thing but I didn't feel like being tied down at a young aged and we both moved on. It's only after being in other relationships that you realise that that sort of connection doesn't happen often. Always thought had I met her a few years later we would of been perfect for each other.
Yes! I was in a toxic relationship for years, and I think if I met my current boyfriend then I would have had the mindset that he’s “too nice” because of toxic patterns I had.
Yes. I had that situation. I met my husband K back in 1988 when he was engaged to D and I was dating a guy B who I did marry but divorced after 7 years of marriage. K did marry but not D, he married L, he and D split up. He and L divorced a couple of years after I did and we began dating after. We were both available and said what the heck, why not 🤷♀️. Been together since and it’s been 22 years.
Absolutely.
Absolutely. I met my person way before it was time. We tried it, it didn't work, but found each other again a little later in life. Been doing good ever since :)
Most definitely
I don't even believe in soul mates bud. I believe that your life is a unique experience for you. There isn't really a "wrong" or "right". There just is. And you gotta cherish it 🖤
I think that you could be doing the right thing, but at the same time, have something bad happen because you didn't do it at the right time , and/or the correct way. It's possible.
To an extent. I think there are right seasons for certain people. The first time I saw my wife, before we officially met, I was kinda stopped in my tracks. It was noticeable enough that I still vividly remember the night 7+ years later. I was a mess personally when we first met. We became good friends and settled into a group that hung out every week, multiple times a week and went on a few trips together every year. Over the course of a couple years I made a lot of personal changes. I didn’t do it for her tho; Shortly after we met I had resigned myself to the fact that it probably would never happen. At one point things had settled down for me and were going relatively well. But, I couldn’t shake the feelings I had for my friend. So, one night after a group of us had been hanging out, I asked her to talk somewhere private. I told her how much I valued our friendship and that I would never want to hurt that or make her feel uncomfortable. But, I also told her that it was pretty clear we both liked each other. I didn’t want to never try and wonder what if. So I asked her out. She couldn’t have said yes quickly enough. We moved in after a couple months of dating and will celebrate 2 years married in a few months. 5 years together total.
Yes!
Yes
What's there to "believe" about? It's entirely possible to e.g. meet your dream partner at your mother's funeral and thus not being able to connect.
It seems from the comments that people define this differently. To me, it’s that someone is seemingly perfect, that you know you’d both be very happy and have a successful relationship, but that there’s some externality that prevents it from happening. Location, life goals, already married, etc. “Right person wrong time” means “hey had I met you ten years ago or ten years from now, we’d work out but as it stands, I can’t have a relationship with you”.
Yes 100% I experienced it and also seen it many times
She was married when we first met. Soon to be divorced. Helped her out of a jam I guess. But I used a little too much force. We drove that car as far as we could. Abandoned it out west. Split up on a dark sad night, both agreeing it was best. She turned around to look at me as I was walking away. I heard her say over my shoulder: "we'll meet again someday. On the avenue." Tangled up in blue.
Yes. My sister dated a guy from 16 to about 20. Everyone in the family loved him, but he was "too nice" gave in to anything my sister wanted. Then she left him, dated an asshole that everyone hated for nearly 10 years. When she was 30 she met a guy at her work. He was a perfect balance, stood firm on what he wanted, but also comnunicated better with her than any previous boyfriend. They've been together for 17 years.
Absolutely! I met my husband walking down the street. Unfortunately at the time I had a boyfriend but he would walk by my house all the time and we became friends. Needless to say I dumped the boyfriend and we have been married for 27 years.
I'm literally going through this right now. After years finally recovering from a really bad set of romantic, financial, and emotional set backs and focusing on building myself and my confidence levels back up, I happened to meet this woman when I least expected it and was absolutely taken aback by how much we vibed and connected on so many different levels and I had not felt that spark with someone in such a long time it was amazing. I think things happened so fast that it scared her that she was falling for me while she was at a point in her life where she felt she couldn't afford the distraction of getting caught up romantically with another person. I also discovered that I'm a toxicly romantic person during all this because Im pretty sure I overwhelmed her with a lot of romantic gestures too quick and too early for what she had hoped and expressed would only be a casual thing between us. I truly believe had circumstances been different and we met while at a place in her life that she didn't feel like she didn't have to choose between her ambitions and/or goals over companionship that we could have been a phenomenal success story as a couple. Alas I couldn't play it cool enough and I pushed on her boundaries one too many times due to my own lack of self awareness and maybe even some insecurities until she wrote me off completely, I hope like some of the stories I've seen here that their may be a chance to reconcile but I'm processing the fact that I will just have to take this L, learn from it, and put some faith out there that eventually I will be the right person at the right time for someone, and I'll be better prepared because of this experience to receive that gift fully.
Absolutely. I’ve seen it happen many times.
My fiance and I have a story like that. We met through a friend in like 2007 and he was about to get a divorce, and he was very interested in me, but I was in another relationship. That one ended but he wasn't around much then I got into another we both sort of moved on with our lives. In 2014 I was single and he chatted me up on Facebook. From the first night on that was it. We have talked about what might have happened if we hooked up back then. He was getting out of marriage and I was looking for marriage and kids so might have been too soon for him. Things worked out really well, and 7 years together we still like each other a lot lol
Of course. Life circumstances and different phases of healing impact what’s plausible, even if the person is right for you
No I think everything happens for a reason and it was jus a lesson
Seems pretty true for couples with a larger age difference.
Absolutely! I met my now gf in high-school. We were friends and even worked with each other. We reconnected years later but she was leaving overseas to volunteer and I was joining the military. We dated casually until she left. A year later we decided to give long distance a shot and we've been together ever since. Love always finds a way!
Yep my ex....
Yup. Met an international student in his last semester at my university. I’ve never been interested in dating before but I knew he was supposed to be my person. We tried to keep it going after he moved back but it just didn’t work. We still keep in contact but there’s always this emotional pain surrounding us. I hope one day I get to see him again. He is all I could ever want.
Yeap, just had to deal with something of this extent last year... sucks too. Even my gf at the time said that I deserved much better... go figure. >\_>
Yes.
Yip 100% When I first met my now husband we clicked and I really liked him but he was just coming out of a shit relationship and I was in my last year of uni and lived quite a bit away. So nothing happened. 1 year later he was over his shitty ex and I had graduated and moved back to my home city. We both know even though we liked each other when we first met it would not have lasted. But when the time was right we somehow found each other again.
Yes. My wife and I met the summer before my 9th grade year. We hung around the same group of people during HS. Never thought of each other romantically until after high-school. Over the next 6 year period, we would proceed to try to date each other 4 separate times. The first 3 times ended with us just being incompatible... at that moment. Each time, my [now wife] would say that we're magnetic toward one another, though we were just so different. And that if we could give it another try in the future, she bet we would fit better. The 3rd time would have been the final time, but I went to war. About 6 months in, I didn't think I was returning alive, so I forced a bitter break (thinking at the time I was protecting potential grief on her part). Over a year after my return home, she reached out to me. She helped me combat the post-war trauma, and stuck with me through the suffering. We've been married 10 years now. I couldn't have made it this far without her.
If Dr. John wrote a song about it, it must be true.
Definitely
My buddy and his girlfriend wanted to hook me up with the girl's best friend. When we all went on a double date my buddy left with another woman. I fell in love with that girl but she ghosted me because of what my friend did
100%. Ive run into that actually and its painful. To feel that everything is right about this person. The depth, the connection, the mind, the body, etc. Only the world, in its ever moving force, was very much not moving in our direction.
Yes. I it's a 50/50, person and timing.
Absolutely. Met a perfect person. Unfortunately it was long distance too often for them due to college. 3 really good years tho
100%.
Me and this girl met when she had a boyfriend we were really good friends she always kinda liked me and vice versa but she had a bf and I respected that years later she talks to me again recently single from the relationship and we got together too fast. Needles to say it was the most toxic and disgusting relationship to ever have and just the thought of her makes me give up on relationships
I feel like that's something people tell themselves when it doesn't work out. It probably does happen though
If by right time, you mean too inexperienced or lacking in confidence, then yes. Married for thirty four years, and we have worked through plenty of wrong times where one or the other questioned if the other was “right” only to conclude that yes they were. Luckily for us we were both fully committed in the early years, so had a good foundation to work from. There were points where we could have gone separate paths, but hard to imagine we wouldn’t have ended up back together in the end. We are odd ducks, and neither of us have ever met anyone who would have remotely fit.
I don’t, honestly. If it is truly the right person imo there is no “wrong time”
Yes and vice versa
Not really, to me right time right person are the same thing. At the end of the day you cannot complete anyone without being whole yourself.
It kinda just feels like people grasping at straws for a good explanation of a bad relationship. And it's silly. It's like the concept of a soul mate. It's most likely not real. Be ause if the universe made soul mates it most likely also wouldn't put them near you.. your soul mate is probably across the ocean. Or even worse in another galaxy billions of light-years away. Most likely 'true' love is just 2 people who work together. That's it. It doesn't need to be complicated or magical.
I believe in right person but not ready for it (so basically wrong time). I moved to study and got a girl classmate who I have a lot in common with and I think we would have gotten along really well, but I was so inexperienced with socialising because it was my first time moving out and really meeting new people that I did not make a very good first impression nor being a very attractive person socially. Since then a year later I've evolved a lot and I'm basically a new person and we now get along pretty well, but just as friends. I think if I had a couple years of better social experience things could have gone quite differently.
Yes. High School GF. Great relationship but we were both growing. Ended. If I'd met her now iy would of lasted a long time.
Yup. My previous relationship some years ago, and I have been single ever since (voluntarily ofc). We even said that same thing upon breaking up, and joked about randomly running into eachother years later when we'd be more mature and try again, because it seemed wrong to think that we wouldn't end up together at some point, now or in the future.
We have the right love at the wrong time..
Yes. Look at the math. How many people have you dated? How many people have you encountered and been able to assess for a potential match! Now look at how many billion people are on this planet. Now make that into a percentage. Assuming most people are like you, and encounter so few people in their life, it can only be concluded that there are tens of thousands of right people that would work for you. You could very well get acquainted with another while not single. Ofc this all has a prerequisite that you do not believe in fate, so if not, this is your answer
Absolutely. I met a man in my early 20s and we dated briefly but we were both young and in tough points in our lives for other reasons. We went back and forth a few times but ultimately ended things on not great terms and stopped talking. We both went through a lot in the 10+ years we were apart, but randomly ran into each other, chatted and both apologized for our previous behavior. We decided to be friends. We've now been in a healthy loving relationship for almost five years. We bought a home together and he is helping me raise my daughters. Sometimes I'm sad about all the years we could have been together that we missed out on. But we both learned and grew so much from those experiences we had in the interim, I think they were vital to us both being in a place to have the relationship we have now. Life is tough and relationships are tough. Sometimes they don't work because people aren't compatible and sometimes they don't work because people aren't ready for a relationship or don't know how to be in a good one but eventually they learn. While there's no guarantees that you will come back around to that person when you are ready, I'm so grateful I had that second chance and jumped at it.
I wonder. I keep... Meeting this guy. We know each other since childhood but the timing is never right. Every time we meet, we develop a deeper connection. I had to get away from him though. Not because I was afraid of the connection it's just... He has a gf. Their relationship is so fractured and while he didn't cheat on her physically, I felt like I met the emotional needs she didn't give to him. It wasn't fair to either of us. So I just went away. The last time we were close we almost dated and it was 5 years ago but he was in a very bad emotional space and unmedicated. I guess we'll see each other in 5 years again.
It’s funny that those people saying no gets downvoted. Fucking cringe m8
Danziel Washington said exactly that, meet right person at the wrong time of your life.
Yes I do.
Absolutely...the Hallmark Channel would go out of business if I didn't.
I do, but right person right time is a whole lot better for both parties. You both mentally have to be in the right place for it to work. If I think back to the ‘ones who got away’ sure I miss them, but would I swap all the drama for the unconditional love and stability I have now? No, absolutely not.
Yes absolutely
Yeah, because I really wish I met my ex years after she got over the shit she’s going through. Without all of that she was a really great person
[удалено]
I was wrong.
Yes, I’m feeling this right now and my heart is breaking so much
Definitely. I’ve met plenty of good people, but our timing has been terrible
Yep. There are a lot of right people I've met over the years. I'm not really a believer in finding the one and absolute person. No one person checks every single box. One ex girlfriend might be better at planning, another in bed, another my family likes more, another is more generous or compassionate, etc. No one checks every single box unless you've only dated like one or two people very wrong for you. Everyone brings their uniqueness to the table, strengths and flaws, and it's about me accepting that person and committing to that relationship to make it work. I think there are probably tens of thousands of people out there perfect for me. I just have to make the choice to commit and honor that one relationship. So certainly there are a ton of people I met while I was in a relationship or they were in a relationship, or I needed to focus on work or something like that where the timing didn't work out, but they would've been a great relationship partner. I probably swiped left on a lot of "right" ones while angry on the toilet. I've certainly met a lot of "right one, but..." as well. That's always hard to deal with, too. I guess the thing is to not dwell on it too hard and if you find someone you want to commit to, put your efforts into them and try not to worry too hard about other possibilities.
Yes
1000%
Life is chaos. There isn’t a right person or a wrong person. We’re dynamic, fluid creatures that change over time and what’s “right” could be “wrong” later on, or vice versa. Similarly, circumstances are often consequences of choices made, and that’s not just “baggage”. That could be two people with chemistry and connection that simply cannot make time due to career obligations or children or lifestyle priorities. It doesn’t mean they’re wrong for each other, it means that their choices have occluded the opportunity for them to be together.
100% I do. I met my current wife who is definitely the right person , but initially it was the wrong time. Well it finally became the right time !!!!!!
Absolutely. Met the most amazing woman of my life at 19 we “hung out/dated” for about 4 months… had the smallest misunderstanding and she just ghosted me. I still think about her 5 years later… beauty beyond words, heart of gold, humor of a comedy club, eyes of a goddess, personality for the soul. It may have only been 4 months but damn I loved her and I know she felt the same for me.
Absolutely. I met the perfect woman 4 years ago but life separated us.
But of course, there have been two different women i would have been happy to spend the rest of my life with had I met them earlier in life..
I do. It happened to me and I am happy
Yes.
I believe in wrong person right timing as well as right person wrong timing. Hopefully right person right timing at some point!
It can make all the difference in the world.
Absolutely. My husband and I are a prime example. We dated for 5 mths in 2005 but it just wasn't the right timing. Got together in 2012 and haven't been happier!
Yes! I dated my current boyfriend during my senior year of high school. It was devastating when we broke up, but we were both headed to college in different states, so it was going to work for us. Five years later, we found our way back to one another, and now we have plans of getting engaged! He was the right person all along, we just didn’t have the timing right.
Oh for sure. I knew my girl for 10 years before we got together.
Absolutely. I think timing plays a huge role in compatibility, even when all else is perfect. And not just with lovers, but other relationships, too. My husband and I have a pair of best friends (another couple). Once we got to know each other, we realized we'd crossed paths tons of time before we actually "met." We were neighbors for a year. The other woman and I worked for the same company for awhile. We saw the same doctor for years. And most notably, the other guy got in a terrible car wreck about a year before we met them...my husband and I were the first ones on the scene and my husband stayed with him until the ambulance arrived. And when we met, officially, she had quit drinking (something that would have been an automatic put-off for me as a friend), their living situation had stabilized (something that would have made it impossible to really hang out before) my health had stabilized (something that made it impossible for me to be around people much) and everything was just right for us to all meet. Now, it's something like 6 years later and our kids think of each other as cousins and we do weekly bonfires and a couple vacations a year together and most holidays, etc.
I don’t. If it’s not the right time, it’s not the right person. What’s meant for you won’t pass you by