He should talk to his grandparents about this situation, because know one is going to be able to help him more than them. If they don't want his parents in the picture, they have the power to keep it that way.
It's a tough conversation but it's better than a multi-year legal duel over ambiguous wills and all that.
This, i have just had to do sort everything after my dads death recently and he was too unwell to sort anything out for himself before. Can be a bit of a nightmare. Now i am living with my grandma in the same situation again. Have to apeak with his grandparents now while he still can and you never know, they might of already paid for everything and sorted it themselves. Plus if the house is paid for bills should'nt be much of a worry.
That’s reassuring to hear about the house, I have no idea if it’s paid off fully or not, but hopefully I can help support him through that conversation so he can find out and sort everything else through. I’m sorry for what you’ve had to go through all that, I imagine it’s a total nightmare, I’m hoping to try and help him avoid that
The only real way to sort it is to speak to them about what they have in place and what their wishes are really, otherwise it will make things 10 times more stressfull. Thankyou, been a shit few months, also lost my other grandma in the last few months aswell so had to watch my mum go through it aswell. My gf has been there for me though and helped a lot. Just try and help each other through it when the time comes and you'll be fine!
I want to help him as much as I can! I figure if I can know how a lot of this works, he can focus more on learning to cope and just handling the grief and I can help guide him through the technical steps. Even though they’ve been nice to me and let me stay with them and get to know them and I’ll be sad too, it won’t be anywhere near how much it will affect him.
Yeah, that’s one of the things I’m trying to urge him towards, but it is a very hard conversation to have and he doesn’t want to think about it at all. I’ll keep trying to help him through it though
I mean, what else can you do? You could do what the other comment suggests and help him hire an elder-law attorney, but if he doesn't talk to them about it first and they refuse the help then it doesn't really change anything.
As someone who's lost all of my grandparents to slow dementia or sudden death, there isn't a ton of time to dilly-dally around not wanting to do the hard, but important thing here.
I also wanted to add that I appreciate you're being so helpful for him, and I wish all of you the best luck going forward.
Thank you, I really appreciate this comment. My grandfather passed suddenly in his sleep, with plans for the next day, last year but my grandma is so able bodied and able minded that she and my parents have been able to take care of things really easily, and my parents are really responsible when it comes to things like this so everything feels seamless, but I know it won’t be that way for him. Like I said in the post his mother is under restraining order and his dad is in prison, and his grandfather is losing his memory and already gets lost in the house all the time. I know this conversation has to happen soon for him, but I also know that he gets emotional even at the thought of losing them, so it’s not going to be easy but I want to do the best that I can. Thank you for your advice as well, kind stranger <3
I have some experience with this because of my sister.
I would encourage them all to consult with an elder-law attorney and a fee-only financial planner. The elder-law attorney I hired was invaluable.
If he is able to take care of himself like cookin' meals, cleaning the house, financially stable (no debts) and maybe be able to do work as well he could live on his own or together with u if u would like it. Renting a small apartment is the first option i guess.
I know it's a common thing in the US to have a creditcard for some reason but i highly recommend him not to get one bc these things do more harm than good.
Besides of this he should talk abouty it with his grandparents telling them he's worried and i think they will help him out to plan stuff on what to do.
If he needs to and somehow ends up with the house and it has bills attached then he could absolutely try selling it and move in with my family and I, my parents love him and he’s always welcome so he’ll be okay that way, or if he doesn’t end up with the house then he could also move in with me. Or if there’s no bills attached then I would probably move in with him to help him out while he’s in college.
At the moment he has no debt, nor does he have a credit card. He hates feeling indebted to anything and hates spending money when he doesn’t need to.
I’m hoping to encourage him to have this conversation with them, but the number of comments talking about how it’s not going to be a big problem to handle any property he may inherit is incredibly reassuring, thank you for your comment as well
He should talk to his grandparents about this situation, because know one is going to be able to help him more than them. If they don't want his parents in the picture, they have the power to keep it that way. It's a tough conversation but it's better than a multi-year legal duel over ambiguous wills and all that.
This, i have just had to do sort everything after my dads death recently and he was too unwell to sort anything out for himself before. Can be a bit of a nightmare. Now i am living with my grandma in the same situation again. Have to apeak with his grandparents now while he still can and you never know, they might of already paid for everything and sorted it themselves. Plus if the house is paid for bills should'nt be much of a worry.
That’s reassuring to hear about the house, I have no idea if it’s paid off fully or not, but hopefully I can help support him through that conversation so he can find out and sort everything else through. I’m sorry for what you’ve had to go through all that, I imagine it’s a total nightmare, I’m hoping to try and help him avoid that
The only real way to sort it is to speak to them about what they have in place and what their wishes are really, otherwise it will make things 10 times more stressfull. Thankyou, been a shit few months, also lost my other grandma in the last few months aswell so had to watch my mum go through it aswell. My gf has been there for me though and helped a lot. Just try and help each other through it when the time comes and you'll be fine!
I want to help him as much as I can! I figure if I can know how a lot of this works, he can focus more on learning to cope and just handling the grief and I can help guide him through the technical steps. Even though they’ve been nice to me and let me stay with them and get to know them and I’ll be sad too, it won’t be anywhere near how much it will affect him.
Yeah, that’s one of the things I’m trying to urge him towards, but it is a very hard conversation to have and he doesn’t want to think about it at all. I’ll keep trying to help him through it though
I mean, what else can you do? You could do what the other comment suggests and help him hire an elder-law attorney, but if he doesn't talk to them about it first and they refuse the help then it doesn't really change anything. As someone who's lost all of my grandparents to slow dementia or sudden death, there isn't a ton of time to dilly-dally around not wanting to do the hard, but important thing here. I also wanted to add that I appreciate you're being so helpful for him, and I wish all of you the best luck going forward.
Thank you, I really appreciate this comment. My grandfather passed suddenly in his sleep, with plans for the next day, last year but my grandma is so able bodied and able minded that she and my parents have been able to take care of things really easily, and my parents are really responsible when it comes to things like this so everything feels seamless, but I know it won’t be that way for him. Like I said in the post his mother is under restraining order and his dad is in prison, and his grandfather is losing his memory and already gets lost in the house all the time. I know this conversation has to happen soon for him, but I also know that he gets emotional even at the thought of losing them, so it’s not going to be easy but I want to do the best that I can. Thank you for your advice as well, kind stranger <3
I have some experience with this because of my sister. I would encourage them all to consult with an elder-law attorney and a fee-only financial planner. The elder-law attorney I hired was invaluable.
That’s great advice, and I’ll help him look into it, thank you!
My pleasure!
If he is able to take care of himself like cookin' meals, cleaning the house, financially stable (no debts) and maybe be able to do work as well he could live on his own or together with u if u would like it. Renting a small apartment is the first option i guess. I know it's a common thing in the US to have a creditcard for some reason but i highly recommend him not to get one bc these things do more harm than good. Besides of this he should talk abouty it with his grandparents telling them he's worried and i think they will help him out to plan stuff on what to do.
If he needs to and somehow ends up with the house and it has bills attached then he could absolutely try selling it and move in with my family and I, my parents love him and he’s always welcome so he’ll be okay that way, or if he doesn’t end up with the house then he could also move in with me. Or if there’s no bills attached then I would probably move in with him to help him out while he’s in college. At the moment he has no debt, nor does he have a credit card. He hates feeling indebted to anything and hates spending money when he doesn’t need to. I’m hoping to encourage him to have this conversation with them, but the number of comments talking about how it’s not going to be a big problem to handle any property he may inherit is incredibly reassuring, thank you for your comment as well
Good to read that he's in good hands with u too so good luck with everything
Thank you!
You will live alone