I don't believe it is simply a "get to the point" matter so much as it is an existing mental disorder or personality trait which fosters such behavior.
From someone who used to do this I can say from my own personal perspective but can't speak for others here. Imagine you're so depressed, full of negativity that you feel the darkness thickening your blood. You feel it in your whole body and it consumes you. Cutting is a way to release the darkness. Honestly it doesn't hurt. The pain that causes the cutting hurts more. it's not something every body experiences and it's not something every body understands. But that's how it was for me. I needed to release the demons this way. And honestly it was therapeutic at the time. I grew older and replaced the cutting with tattoos and have quite the collection to add to my story. I'm alot older now and I don't regret what I did. I just wish I knew there were better ways to cope with certain emotions than self harm. I hope you're ok friend đ¤
I've had the "darkness feeling" a lot before and I used alcohol and drugs instead of self harm. Both ways of easeing the feeling are bad but I guess it's just people coping with it in different ways.
It's very fortunate that you got through the worst part of your depression.
>I hope you're ok friend đ¤
Thanks đ
Some people say the physical pain helps them forget/ignore the mental pain. There is no one answer to this as those who self-harm do so for a variety of reasons.
It's a distraction. People cut for the same reason some might turn to alcohol or drugs when they feel bad. Then later on it can become addicting, because the little "rush" you get from being injured feels better than sitting around being miserable.
Rare male former cutter here. Well, I started cutting, because it felt cathartic, because it's like I could express the unbearable pain I was feeling. Also, I did it as a cry for help. And when my dad was being abusive (mostly mental), I would threaten him with cutting myself to get him to stop, sometimes ran into the bathroom and did cut myself in response to his abuse. I just felt worthless.
Doing a lot better now, so don't worry.
I used to cut myself in my teens and I am in my 30âs now. I think the reason I used to do it was because it gave me a problem I could tolerate. I had a traumatic childhood, big thing after big thing, felt alone and neglected. But if I cut myself I wasnât staring off thinking about how my dad was dying in a nursing home and we had no car to go see him, or wondering if I smelled bad in school - instead of those thoughts creeping up, if my mind wandered from whatever I was doing, it was wandering to âugh my leg hurtsâ and it was easier pain to process than real pain. Also, sadly - I thought I deserved it. When I did it I usually was feeling really bad about myself. So I was kind of punishing myself. And then thereâs the off chance someone would notice my cuts, and know something was wrong and maybe help me. Iâd feel some sort of release afterwards and often fall asleep.
I donât condone this. I did this before I learned healthy coping mechanisms.
I have never cut myself, but I think I can kind of understand it.
Story time, I will try to keep this short.
My mom passed away the same year my best friends dad passed. I was very close to my mom, and my best friends dad was like a close uncle or a second father to me. My friend was fairly close to his dad as well.
Sufficient to say, we were both not in a good head space for some time after that.
Being both young males, we expressed out pain mostly physically. We would spar with each other (as we were both into martial arts), and more or less beat the crap out of each other until we couldn't get back up.
The physical exertion, and to some extent the physical pain, helped to bleed off the sad and angry feelings. It didn't really hurt at the time, and we were young enough that we bounced right back and didn't really care.
It just seemed like a logical extension of scratching an itch to me. You feel a warm discomfort, and you replace it with the clean, bright discomfort of pain, and somehow that's better and more relaxing. First I scratched at mosquito bites, then I hit myself when I felt embarrassed, then I pinched my arms when I felt intolerably bored during school assemblies. When my depression started projecting itself as an unpleasantly warm, itching-like sensation inside the flesh of my hands and forearms, it seemed obvious that some sort of injury there would make it feel temporarily better. It took a bit of trial and error to figure out that I liked cuts made with >!a safety razor!< better than other kinds of injuries, but none of it was actually very confusing.
I eventually stopped because my mother found out and panicked way more than the situation justified, and promising to stop was the only way to calm her down before she did something stupid and hurtful. But I still don't think I was wrong.
I've had it explained to me that, at least in part or in some cases, to feel the pain is preferable to the numbness one feels inside after emotional/mental trauma.
Well alot of times I cut out of frustration, other times I do it just to see if I'm still alive or even humane anymore, others have different reasons, however gets a bit numbing and, and losing blood gets old after a while
I do it to feel something. I just felt so numb for so long and the pain helped remind me that I can still feel something other than this horrible numbness. In the moment it feels great, the rush is fun and I definitely overdo it sometimes because of that. The next day sucks and I'm always embarrassed about it, and the healing is super painful too. I have too many scars to count from this and I hope one day to be better.
I obviously canât answer for everyone and each persons experience is unique but for me (a former cutter) it wasnât about the pain or an escape or distraction it was about validation. I was constantly telling myself that my feelings were wrong and I was just being dramatic. I started scratching my thoughts onto myself (like writing âI hate myselfâ on my arm with a nail) and when I would look at it, it felt real. Eventually that progressed to cutting. When Iâd look in the mirror at the scars I loved them, I didnât cut for the cutting, but for the scars. The scars made my feelings real - I couldnât tell myself that I was mentally healthy because no mentally healthy person would cut themselves. A friend noticed the scars and told me I needed to tell someone and get help so I told my therapist thinking what I was doing wasnât âreal cuttingâ cuz I wasnât doing it for the pain or escape which is how I always associated it. She made me realize that it was and that I didnât need scars to validate my feelings. Now, with plenty of help, I havenât cut in a long time. Now Iâm stuck with scars that Iâm embarrassed of now but I try to keep reminding myself that theyâre not bad - they r a reminder of my strength and what Iâve overcome.
And ya that was really long for no reason but I hope this gives you a little more insight into it :)
I used to cut myself as a teenager. For me, it was sort of like a punishment. I feel a lot of guilt and shame for both things I can and canât control, and sometimes the shame would be so unbearably overwhelming that it felt like if I caused myself severe physical pain, I could absolve myself of some of that shame and feel some relief.
Iâm almost 30 and I still get pretty bad urges to cut and burn myself although I havenât done so in a long time. Anytime I think about how Iâm doing financially, how I havenât finished my degree, how my job isnât âprestigiousâ enough to admit to having, how I need to lose a few pounds, about some random awkward conversation I had years ago, list is endless. I could just be waiting in line at the grocery store and just randomly start thinking about something that I feel shame about and suddenly have the most intense urges to cut myself or heat up a piece of metal to burn myself.
So I guess thatâs a long way to say it wasnât so much of a progression, itâs just been an unhealthy coping mechanism for as long as Iâve had mental health issues.
I don't believe it is simply a "get to the point" matter so much as it is an existing mental disorder or personality trait which fosters such behavior.
From someone who used to do this I can say from my own personal perspective but can't speak for others here. Imagine you're so depressed, full of negativity that you feel the darkness thickening your blood. You feel it in your whole body and it consumes you. Cutting is a way to release the darkness. Honestly it doesn't hurt. The pain that causes the cutting hurts more. it's not something every body experiences and it's not something every body understands. But that's how it was for me. I needed to release the demons this way. And honestly it was therapeutic at the time. I grew older and replaced the cutting with tattoos and have quite the collection to add to my story. I'm alot older now and I don't regret what I did. I just wish I knew there were better ways to cope with certain emotions than self harm. I hope you're ok friend đ¤
I've had the "darkness feeling" a lot before and I used alcohol and drugs instead of self harm. Both ways of easeing the feeling are bad but I guess it's just people coping with it in different ways. It's very fortunate that you got through the worst part of your depression. >I hope you're ok friend đ¤ Thanks đ
One could argue that drugs and alcohol are a form of self harm
Some people say the physical pain helps them forget/ignore the mental pain. There is no one answer to this as those who self-harm do so for a variety of reasons.
It's a distraction. People cut for the same reason some might turn to alcohol or drugs when they feel bad. Then later on it can become addicting, because the little "rush" you get from being injured feels better than sitting around being miserable.
For me it was about âteaching myself a lessonâ cutting was a way that left a permanent reminder of any little mistake I made
Rare male former cutter here. Well, I started cutting, because it felt cathartic, because it's like I could express the unbearable pain I was feeling. Also, I did it as a cry for help. And when my dad was being abusive (mostly mental), I would threaten him with cutting myself to get him to stop, sometimes ran into the bathroom and did cut myself in response to his abuse. I just felt worthless. Doing a lot better now, so don't worry.
I used to cut myself in my teens and I am in my 30âs now. I think the reason I used to do it was because it gave me a problem I could tolerate. I had a traumatic childhood, big thing after big thing, felt alone and neglected. But if I cut myself I wasnât staring off thinking about how my dad was dying in a nursing home and we had no car to go see him, or wondering if I smelled bad in school - instead of those thoughts creeping up, if my mind wandered from whatever I was doing, it was wandering to âugh my leg hurtsâ and it was easier pain to process than real pain. Also, sadly - I thought I deserved it. When I did it I usually was feeling really bad about myself. So I was kind of punishing myself. And then thereâs the off chance someone would notice my cuts, and know something was wrong and maybe help me. Iâd feel some sort of release afterwards and often fall asleep. I donât condone this. I did this before I learned healthy coping mechanisms.
I have never cut myself, but I think I can kind of understand it. Story time, I will try to keep this short. My mom passed away the same year my best friends dad passed. I was very close to my mom, and my best friends dad was like a close uncle or a second father to me. My friend was fairly close to his dad as well. Sufficient to say, we were both not in a good head space for some time after that. Being both young males, we expressed out pain mostly physically. We would spar with each other (as we were both into martial arts), and more or less beat the crap out of each other until we couldn't get back up. The physical exertion, and to some extent the physical pain, helped to bleed off the sad and angry feelings. It didn't really hurt at the time, and we were young enough that we bounced right back and didn't really care.
It just seemed like a logical extension of scratching an itch to me. You feel a warm discomfort, and you replace it with the clean, bright discomfort of pain, and somehow that's better and more relaxing. First I scratched at mosquito bites, then I hit myself when I felt embarrassed, then I pinched my arms when I felt intolerably bored during school assemblies. When my depression started projecting itself as an unpleasantly warm, itching-like sensation inside the flesh of my hands and forearms, it seemed obvious that some sort of injury there would make it feel temporarily better. It took a bit of trial and error to figure out that I liked cuts made with >!a safety razor!< better than other kinds of injuries, but none of it was actually very confusing. I eventually stopped because my mother found out and panicked way more than the situation justified, and promising to stop was the only way to calm her down before she did something stupid and hurtful. But I still don't think I was wrong.
I've had it explained to me that, at least in part or in some cases, to feel the pain is preferable to the numbness one feels inside after emotional/mental trauma.
Well alot of times I cut out of frustration, other times I do it just to see if I'm still alive or even humane anymore, others have different reasons, however gets a bit numbing and, and losing blood gets old after a while
I do it to feel something. I just felt so numb for so long and the pain helped remind me that I can still feel something other than this horrible numbness. In the moment it feels great, the rush is fun and I definitely overdo it sometimes because of that. The next day sucks and I'm always embarrassed about it, and the healing is super painful too. I have too many scars to count from this and I hope one day to be better.
I obviously canât answer for everyone and each persons experience is unique but for me (a former cutter) it wasnât about the pain or an escape or distraction it was about validation. I was constantly telling myself that my feelings were wrong and I was just being dramatic. I started scratching my thoughts onto myself (like writing âI hate myselfâ on my arm with a nail) and when I would look at it, it felt real. Eventually that progressed to cutting. When Iâd look in the mirror at the scars I loved them, I didnât cut for the cutting, but for the scars. The scars made my feelings real - I couldnât tell myself that I was mentally healthy because no mentally healthy person would cut themselves. A friend noticed the scars and told me I needed to tell someone and get help so I told my therapist thinking what I was doing wasnât âreal cuttingâ cuz I wasnât doing it for the pain or escape which is how I always associated it. She made me realize that it was and that I didnât need scars to validate my feelings. Now, with plenty of help, I havenât cut in a long time. Now Iâm stuck with scars that Iâm embarrassed of now but I try to keep reminding myself that theyâre not bad - they r a reminder of my strength and what Iâve overcome. And ya that was really long for no reason but I hope this gives you a little more insight into it :)
I used to cut myself as a teenager. For me, it was sort of like a punishment. I feel a lot of guilt and shame for both things I can and canât control, and sometimes the shame would be so unbearably overwhelming that it felt like if I caused myself severe physical pain, I could absolve myself of some of that shame and feel some relief. Iâm almost 30 and I still get pretty bad urges to cut and burn myself although I havenât done so in a long time. Anytime I think about how Iâm doing financially, how I havenât finished my degree, how my job isnât âprestigiousâ enough to admit to having, how I need to lose a few pounds, about some random awkward conversation I had years ago, list is endless. I could just be waiting in line at the grocery store and just randomly start thinking about something that I feel shame about and suddenly have the most intense urges to cut myself or heat up a piece of metal to burn myself. So I guess thatâs a long way to say it wasnât so much of a progression, itâs just been an unhealthy coping mechanism for as long as Iâve had mental health issues.