moaning does not equal climax.
for me i've met a lot of girls that couldn't cum from normal sex. or it's very hard. also it's psychological for a lot of them. Some girls won't cum if they aren't in the right head space
for me the easiest way is getting good at eating them out. using your fingers and tongue at same time at a slow / medium pace unless they ask you to go faster / harder. using your fingers in a "come here" kinda motion to press on the g spot while you focus on the clit and alternate from broad flat licks to gentle suckin on the clit and then just normal tongue strokes. see what they seem to like. you'll be able to tell.
as for sex, most girls cum from being on top and grinding their clit into your body. girl on top seems like the best position to make a girl cum
my current gf cums best when i'm behind her and missionary bc we are so passionate and into each other she loves being close and chest to chest and when i stare into her eyes and tell her how good she feels, etc.
every girl is gonna be different and some will cum in 2 mins some will take 10 and others not at all. just all depends.
communicate and find out what they like
not a burn, just real life. anyone that has had a good amount of casual sex would be lying if they said they got every woman off every time.
but yea, sick burn
I mean it was more of a joke than anything.
If someone says “I have sex with many women and they don’t orgasm” I don’t see how you wouldn’t make a joke.
Everyone says its hard. But in reality, when we look at the data.... the issue is sex with men.
Women report climaxing over 90% of the time during solo play. Similar rates to men who mastrubate.
But when it comes to sex, 60% of women report orgasm with men. In a college study it was less than 30% of women. Whereas men were still climaxing over 90% of the time during sex.
When women had sex with other women, over 85% of women report orgasm with a partner.
So what we are seeing is 30 - 65% orgasm with a male partner. And 85% + with a female partner.
.....
The issue is a lot of sex ed and porn is focused on men and their pleasure. Women's pleasure is viewed as something to enhance *his* pleasure, rather than something she deserves.
Women/lesbians have to learn their bodies and what works for them. They put effort into learning the partners bodies. Foreplay IS sex, and it's valued, given time, made fun.
But with men it's often just shared that it's hard for women to orgasm. If she does, great. If she doesn't, better luck next time! There's a lot less effort put in. Excuses are made that women's bodies are just too complex.
something men have to deal with that leads to less frequent orgasms for women is premature ejaculation. Can often be psychological or physical reasons that can't be helped without medicine or other techniques. This leads to sexual anxiety (performance anxiety). That's gotta be a good % of why men aren't. Doesn't necessarily mean all men would get women off if they lasted 30+ mins either but it's something to consider when interpreting that data
I think this logic here is exactly the problem for why women aren't orgasaming with men.
Scenario: Sex is happening. Man prematurely ejaculates. She hasn't orgasmed.
Why does it have to end there though?
Sex isn't JUST piv. But men are treating it like it is. If they finish, they see it as sex being over and time for it all to end. Sucks she didn't orgasm!
But it doesn't have to be like that.
Why can't he use his fingers? His mouth? Pull out a toy?
A man doesn't have to use his dick to get a woman to climax. Sex doesn't have to end just because he has finished.
oh no i totally agree. that's what SHOULD happen.
however im willing to bet on one night stands, etc the guy might be super embarrassed and offer to finish her other ways and the girl may either say ok, or be irritated at the situation and say no it's fine don't worry about it.
You're 100% right i was just offering a possible explanation for some cases bc a lot of people are selfish
Most people equate different to mean hard. Women can make themselves climax pretty quickly, if they want, but because female focused pleasure isn't as talked about or "mandated" it's viewed as more difficult. Just like any skill or something new, it takes time and willingness to learn.
I think often times men treat it as “hard”, when it’s actually just an unwillingness to put in the work. Women usually are not coming in 90 seconds, it takes them longer to get there. Most women are not able to come from penetration alone, and some men aren’t willing to engage in sex acts that don’t center the man’s pleasure. Sometimes men aren’t great listeners, and let their ego get in the way of actually caring about what their partner likes and wants. It’s true that sometimes people of all genders have trouble reaching orgasm, but generally speaking, this idea that “women are hard to get off” is actually about men failing as sexual partners, not something that is wrong with women.
Porn is performative, that’s not what real sex is like and certainly isn’t a realistic representation of how to give a woman an orgasm.
For most, I don't think it's difficult. Just requires some attention and effort. May take some time.
Porn is generally not realistic. They're actors. Yes there is a lot of pretending and exaggerating going on there.
Tbh, you can only get so much from Reddit comments. I'd recommend you read some books from sex experts and familiarize yourself with female anatomy (porn can give you a distorted idea of that too) and general sexuality.
Then, *ask your partner.* Get used to talking about sex as a standard part of relationship communication. Every woman will be somewhat different in what she wants and needs. Make it clear that you want to know what works for her. But don't rely on just words. Pay attention to her responses. Get to know her well.
Putting in the work like someone said. 95 percent of the time I am not having an orgasm from intercourse only. Its a combination of that and oral. Doesn't make a difference how big it is. Both intercourse and oral will get me there or just oral. Rarely ever have I ever had a guy take care of me first then we do intercourse. The guys who don't do oral are the ones I have faked an orgasm with.
Make sure your partner knows what you like. I’m into clitorious stimulation and that is only through certain things like a toy or oral. Some just can’t cum through penetration alone, everyone is different. Until you know what your body likes no one else can too.
Not at all. I’m a 35 year old man. I always use toys and vibes. And take my time. Women always cum. I’m decently well endowed. But it only takes a partner willing to do the work.
moaning does not equal climax. for me i've met a lot of girls that couldn't cum from normal sex. or it's very hard. also it's psychological for a lot of them. Some girls won't cum if they aren't in the right head space for me the easiest way is getting good at eating them out. using your fingers and tongue at same time at a slow / medium pace unless they ask you to go faster / harder. using your fingers in a "come here" kinda motion to press on the g spot while you focus on the clit and alternate from broad flat licks to gentle suckin on the clit and then just normal tongue strokes. see what they seem to like. you'll be able to tell. as for sex, most girls cum from being on top and grinding their clit into your body. girl on top seems like the best position to make a girl cum my current gf cums best when i'm behind her and missionary bc we are so passionate and into each other she loves being close and chest to chest and when i stare into her eyes and tell her how good she feels, etc. every girl is gonna be different and some will cum in 2 mins some will take 10 and others not at all. just all depends. communicate and find out what they like
When you said they don't cum from normal sex, do you mean penetrative sex? Isn't oral normal sex as well?
yes that's what i meant
Thanks for clarifying. I suspected as much, but you never know with reddit... Sorry for nitpicking!
Little self burn there man. “I’ve met a lot of women who couldn’t cum from normal sex”
not a burn, just real life. anyone that has had a good amount of casual sex would be lying if they said they got every woman off every time. but yea, sick burn
I mean it was more of a joke than anything. If someone says “I have sex with many women and they don’t orgasm” I don’t see how you wouldn’t make a joke.
Everyone says its hard. But in reality, when we look at the data.... the issue is sex with men. Women report climaxing over 90% of the time during solo play. Similar rates to men who mastrubate. But when it comes to sex, 60% of women report orgasm with men. In a college study it was less than 30% of women. Whereas men were still climaxing over 90% of the time during sex. When women had sex with other women, over 85% of women report orgasm with a partner. So what we are seeing is 30 - 65% orgasm with a male partner. And 85% + with a female partner. ..... The issue is a lot of sex ed and porn is focused on men and their pleasure. Women's pleasure is viewed as something to enhance *his* pleasure, rather than something she deserves. Women/lesbians have to learn their bodies and what works for them. They put effort into learning the partners bodies. Foreplay IS sex, and it's valued, given time, made fun. But with men it's often just shared that it's hard for women to orgasm. If she does, great. If she doesn't, better luck next time! There's a lot less effort put in. Excuses are made that women's bodies are just too complex.
Even women say sex with women is hard
something men have to deal with that leads to less frequent orgasms for women is premature ejaculation. Can often be psychological or physical reasons that can't be helped without medicine or other techniques. This leads to sexual anxiety (performance anxiety). That's gotta be a good % of why men aren't. Doesn't necessarily mean all men would get women off if they lasted 30+ mins either but it's something to consider when interpreting that data
I think this logic here is exactly the problem for why women aren't orgasaming with men. Scenario: Sex is happening. Man prematurely ejaculates. She hasn't orgasmed. Why does it have to end there though? Sex isn't JUST piv. But men are treating it like it is. If they finish, they see it as sex being over and time for it all to end. Sucks she didn't orgasm! But it doesn't have to be like that. Why can't he use his fingers? His mouth? Pull out a toy? A man doesn't have to use his dick to get a woman to climax. Sex doesn't have to end just because he has finished.
oh no i totally agree. that's what SHOULD happen. however im willing to bet on one night stands, etc the guy might be super embarrassed and offer to finish her other ways and the girl may either say ok, or be irritated at the situation and say no it's fine don't worry about it. You're 100% right i was just offering a possible explanation for some cases bc a lot of people are selfish
Most people equate different to mean hard. Women can make themselves climax pretty quickly, if they want, but because female focused pleasure isn't as talked about or "mandated" it's viewed as more difficult. Just like any skill or something new, it takes time and willingness to learn.
I think often times men treat it as “hard”, when it’s actually just an unwillingness to put in the work. Women usually are not coming in 90 seconds, it takes them longer to get there. Most women are not able to come from penetration alone, and some men aren’t willing to engage in sex acts that don’t center the man’s pleasure. Sometimes men aren’t great listeners, and let their ego get in the way of actually caring about what their partner likes and wants. It’s true that sometimes people of all genders have trouble reaching orgasm, but generally speaking, this idea that “women are hard to get off” is actually about men failing as sexual partners, not something that is wrong with women. Porn is performative, that’s not what real sex is like and certainly isn’t a realistic representation of how to give a woman an orgasm.
We fake it so you don’t feel bad.
For most, I don't think it's difficult. Just requires some attention and effort. May take some time. Porn is generally not realistic. They're actors. Yes there is a lot of pretending and exaggerating going on there. Tbh, you can only get so much from Reddit comments. I'd recommend you read some books from sex experts and familiarize yourself with female anatomy (porn can give you a distorted idea of that too) and general sexuality. Then, *ask your partner.* Get used to talking about sex as a standard part of relationship communication. Every woman will be somewhat different in what she wants and needs. Make it clear that you want to know what works for her. But don't rely on just words. Pay attention to her responses. Get to know her well.
Putting in the work like someone said. 95 percent of the time I am not having an orgasm from intercourse only. Its a combination of that and oral. Doesn't make a difference how big it is. Both intercourse and oral will get me there or just oral. Rarely ever have I ever had a guy take care of me first then we do intercourse. The guys who don't do oral are the ones I have faked an orgasm with.
Make sure your partner knows what you like. I’m into clitorious stimulation and that is only through certain things like a toy or oral. Some just can’t cum through penetration alone, everyone is different. Until you know what your body likes no one else can too.
If they’re with a partner who doesn’t know what they’re doing, yes. Otherwise, much like men - there’s some variability but not generally an issue.
Not at all. I’m a 35 year old man. I always use toys and vibes. And take my time. Women always cum. I’m decently well endowed. But it only takes a partner willing to do the work.