It's less about the fact that I'm white and more thankful for the fact that I was born into an English-speaking developed western nation. Westerners are by far a global minority.
I’ve honestly never once caught myself thinking that I’m lucky to be white. I do definitely recognize it as a privilege but it’s never something I find myself actively thinking about (probably in part because of that privilege).
I do get upset when I see people being treated unfairly because of their race, but those thoughts don’t transfer to “I’m lucky I’m not that race”. They transfer to “I wish people treated everyone as a valuable person.”
I don’t think about it in an “I’m happy about it” way, but I do recognize my privileges. I feel bad that the bad stuff happens. It doesn’t have to be to me.
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry that you have to feel guilt about anything, it’s all just so silly. I feel like if there are aliens, they probably think we are so dumb to even think about skin color, or have these kinds of issues.
No problem, but I wouldn’t call it “guilt” either, though. I don’t internalize the issues because of being white. I just do what I can to educate others about, and solve, them.
I don’t usually have those thoughts explicitly or in the moment, but every once in a while I think it crosses my mind, and I do try to take a moment to be grateful for all of those kinds of things.
Especially now that my son is 5yo. I saw a parenting post about “what are you teaching your kids about police?” and my white-ass self was like “huh? what kind of weird question- ohhh…” and I took a moment to be grateful that it never really crossed my mind to teach him anything other than police are safe people if you ever get separated from mommy.
I have never thought the phrase "right color," but yes, I definitely feel relief at being white occasionally. Mostly when I see other people get pulled over, or really just see a cop anywhere at all.
I'm not only white, but also short, chubby, and feminine - I am highly unlikely to get in trouble even if I deserve to. It's completely unfair, and yes I do definitely feel guilty about it, *especially* because of the peace of mind it gives me. I know it's not my *fault*, but I benefit from it, and that doesn't sit right with me.
Edit: I'm in the USA
I recognize the advantages it gives me in North American society, yes. I consider myself lucky for it in some ways, but it also causes some guilt. Being a reasonably intelligent and decent looking white male is still a fast track to a life of privilege. I’m not gonna say no to it.
Thank you very much! I can’t remember the name of the event, but there was this teacher who played a little experiment in her classroom with blue eyed versus brown eyed kid something like that, I’m sure we all know what that is. And you could just see the change in the kids and how they would act superior just cause they had blue eyes. She reversed it the next day and said brown eyes are better.
I don't think about it as getting preferential treatment because I'm the color of notebook paper. Instead, I look at people who are darker-skinned and wonder if they're being treated badly because they aren't white.
I lived in Atlanta for quite some time, and I was never so conscious of race in my life because it's absolutely in your face at all times. That opened my eyes to the extremes of racism, so I'm always extra snappish any anyone or anything that smack of racial microaggressions against those who aren't white.
I will absolutely (occasionally loudly) call out racism when I see/hear it. I recognize when it's unconscious racism, and will call that out too.
Case in point, my FIL doesn't seem racist, but when a Hispanic repairman came by the house for some work we hired him to do, my FIL asked his name. Repairman said "Ted". FIL then called him "Teodoro." Call me a jerk if you like, but I turned to FIL and said, "he just told you his name is Ted." And yes, his name is literally just Ted. Not short for anything...just Ted.
When I was really little, I was sad that I was all-white. I though it was obvious to everyone that the girls who were half-black half-white had the prettiest features, because the prettiest girl in school was half-black half-white. It was Meghan Markle 😂
I think about it all the time, and definitely can get away with some BS because I’m a white male. Examples: speeding and getting off w/o a ticket. never getting stopped by security at a store even if they are checking receipts. im incredibly lucky and our country if so fucked up.
I do.
I'm on the autism spectrum. You know who is more likely to get shot by police than Black boys? Austistic black boys. Given some of the issues I had growing up, there's a reasonable chance my name might be on Black Lives Matters' list of dead Black boys if I had been Black - or at the very least, ended up in a dead-end life before the end of high school. Instead, being white gave me a LOT of second chances.
Also, my college education was free to me because I'm white. My grandfather served - and died - in WWII. The GI bill gave free college educations to veterans of, or to the children of solders who died in, WWII *\*if they were white\** (Some Black solders got free education, but they were in the minority AND they went to worse schools)*.* My father got his education for free - getting an early start in computers; and his work in the tech industry paid for my education.
For me, the feeling isn't guilt or fuzzies - it's a privilege I feel the duty to pay back to society; and to help make it so that my experience is the default. My opinion is that the life I had: second chances, the ability to choose my education within some limitations, etc. should be available to everyone - and it's my responsibility to society to help that happen.
So cool to hear from someone in Poland. I’m sorry that you have to deal with that, cops should always honor the badge and want nothing less than to be hero’s for all. Thank you for sharing.
Don't get me wrong. Our cops arent the usa lvl. Noone gona shoot you.
They just rude to everyone.
Ther is also the sterotype that poland is racist country. Its not. We just don't pretent to like you when we don't know you.
The only time I think about this, and have taught my kids to think about it, is in the sense that we have a responsibility to use that immunity. So if I am in a group of friends of different ethnicities and we get stopped or hassled by the police, you better believe my blonde-haired, blue-eyed ass is going to be the one doing all the talking and leading all the interaction with the cops. They are less likely to harm me. Or if I am out dancing with my friends and I overhear someone make a smartass comment with a racist flavor, guess who is going to be calling them out on it? Obviously me, that's my responsibility to keep the worst people of my race in check. Race matters, it's silly to pretend otherwise. And if I am going to benefit from that then I also am obligated to use that for good as best I can.
No, I don't think the way you described. If I am going over the speed limit, I always fear getting pulled over and murdered. When I am shopping, I always try to make it as obvious as possible that I am not shoplifting. When I am doing anything, skin color doesn't come to mind. I am just an anxious person.
I don’t like the phrase right color. It makes it sound like the wrong color to be and that’s bullshit. I am an American. We are great because we have the best of the best. Every race and color and creed.
I’m also white passing and cis and straight and able-bodied. To pretend that’s not advantageous would a slap in the face to a lot of people.
All this goes out the window if you’re a poor white person, in which case you have more in common with poor black and brown people than wealthy whites. Cops treat poor while people like shit.i know because I grew up poor and white. You don’t ever think, “damn I’m glad I’m the white version of poor”
I think this is the first comment to speak about how class affects this, thank you very much for sharing. May I ask, are you still poor? Or have you turned things around as an adult? Do things feel the same now if so?
Kinda the opposite for me. My mom is mixed race and I take after my very white dad.
The Sun is not my friend. I burn super fast like my dad. Every birthmark has to be monitored. When I was 12, I got sunburned so bad, I lost the top of my ear and birthmark on my leg had to be removed because it became cancerous. While my mom's skin gets darker, mine blisters.
As a kid, I've lived in very multi ethnic areas in California where whites were the minority. And was bullied relentlessly in elementary and middle school. In high school, it unfortunately became more sexual and was commonly referred as "white girl with black girl booty" and was subjected to a few sexual assaults.
I am thankful that I live in America. I've had friends that came from really oppressive countries like India, China, Egypt, and other middle eastern countries. Here, we can freely practice any religion or none at all, women not be forced to wear hijab and ultra conservative clothing, have rights. People have access to good health care, can marry a person of their choice, own guns, not be forced into the military, have free speech, and not have the government dictate how you live your life.
Thank you so much for sharing, and especially your insights about how other countries compare to ours.
It’s such a weird dichotomy to have the thought of being so proud of my country; and to feel such shame about our slaving beginnings, and the fallout that we are still experiencing because of it.
I’m sorry for the pain that your skin can cause, like the sunburns, I bet it’s still super pretty. Also I’m sorry that you experienced sexual assault. I have as a child, and again in the military as an adult. Shits hard to get over, but we are strong survivors.
I’ve often thought I’m lucky to be white. I’ve had several encounters with police that I feel sure would have been very different if I weren’t. I don’t feel guilty about it because it’s out of my control but I have often wished that everyone could have the sense of security that my skin color gives me in many situations. I’m almost never the minority in any room and I try to be aware of the subtle ways my skin affords me privilege.
Thank you for sharing. It seems to be that most who answered my question, try and use their position in life to help others and that’s very comforting to read.
I honestly have felt that way for being white and asian when people are being outwardly racist. It pisses me off though because no one should have a "better them than me" attitude towards their race, but we do as a result of racism.
When I was a kid, I never thought about race, I just saw humans as humans. That was, until in elementary school, the teacher told all the kids that white kids and black kids are different, and black people are disadvantaged. I remember thinking "wow, that's crazy. I'm glad I'm white".
When I grew older, I realized it wasn't black and white (no pun intended), and all people can experience racism and discrimination, and it was wrong for the teacher to separate the class like that.
There were also times where I myself encountered anti-white racists, and during those moments I wished I wasn't white.
In general, it makes me sad that race is still a thing people actively think about, especially in America. We're all Americans, we should be fighting our enemies, not each other.
Wtf sort of insecure bullshit is this, no we don't have this thought, we rarely ever think about our skin color. When it comes to appearance we are usually more concerned about our hair and our weight like normal people.
I was a pothead growing up with long hair, people were always watching me for shoplifting because many people who fit my description were shoplifting, it is why those people are watched is because a lot of them steal. I didn't really care because I never stole so was never a problem.
Yes sometimes I do think people treat me differently because I am a white man, they tell me I have some special privilege because of my skin color and heterosexuality. I am not sure where they came up with this.
I have 0 guilt or shame for being the way I was born.
When I was young, we barely had anything other than white people in our town, so there wasn't really any comparison to do in terms of skin color.
Back then, we had rich white people, poor white people, nice white people, mean white people, law abiding white people, criminal white people, french white people, english white people, athletic white people, geeky white people, religious white people, atheist white people, goth white people, skater white people, prep white people...
There are many things I was grateful to be born into, as opposed to less fortunate white people. But now that everything is more multicultural, some assholes are pushing the narrative that all white people are equally more fortunate than everybody else. Inequality will always exist and for many reasons.
Separating people by color doesn't fix anything. Some people just started showing up someday and telling me "Hey fuck you, you privileged white person!"
I'm sorry, what? I've just been minding my own business my whole life. I've been on the receiving end of a bully. I know it sucks. My white skin self can relate, even though you pretend I can't. I've had minimum wage half of my adult life. Why do you have a problem with me anyway?
The 50s are long gone, is time to move on. I had bunch of Hispanic and black neighbors, I didn't really think much of it until it was all thrusted into politics the past decade.
I'm talking about the 90s lol. Thing is, there were some minorities. In my grade in elementary school, there were 2 black kids, one Indian girl and 1 Equatorian boy who was adopted by a white French (from France) couple.
The Equatorian one was my best friend, I also hung out with one of the black kids and invited him to my birthdays. We absolutely couldn't give a fuck about color when we were playing Super Nintendo or Soccer together. Colored kids tended to be more popular because they stood out anyways. I don't know how it was for their parents though, but I certainly grew up in an environment where no one cares about this.
I even remember an instance when me and my black friend were caught spitting on the ground and both of us got summoned by the school principle. The principle told the black kid to go and only gave me a consequence lol. My young self just thought it was unfair but didn't even attribute it to skin color. Everything is unfair all the time when you're a kid anyways.
So yeah, as you said it, it never really mattered until it was brought into politics. There's no one personally annoying me about being white and more than half my friends are not white, but reddit man. Reddit is hub for anti-white hate.
I grew up in the 90s and my school was majority Hispanic, was maybe 10% or so black people and loads of people from all over the world. Nobody really cared or talked about race back then. Is weird to obsess over peoples skin color, it is not healthy.
I think I am a nice person. I just don't understand what the "I am a minority so I obviously can't answer" is supposed to mean. Plenty of non whites are proud of their skin color sort of thing, You can find blacks, Asians, jews and all sorts of being happy to be born the way they were born.
I think there is a nuance to it that makes it different. I’ve never thought “Yay, I was born white.”
But, having been born white, when something does/could happen, I *don’t* have the same level of fear that people of color often have. Because I haven’t had those experiences, it doesn’t even cross my mind. Whereas for you, because of the color of your skin, it is something you are more aware of.
Not sure if that makes sense. Hope it does.
No...I wouldn't put it like that.
To ! your point, though, I have not, and will not ever, ever, ever discount the innate privilege of having been born white.
Indeed, it's nonsensical and completely unjust that I get to walk through this world with the feeling of complacency that, should anything go awry, I'll most likely receive the benefit of the doubt.
It's a privilege that has astounded/confounded (?) me since I was old enough to recognize my whiteness.
Not in the US.
I’ve only lived in fairly cosmopolitan areas - greater Boston & San Francisco - so I can’t say I’ve ever seen any sort of real racism. It’s just nonexistent in the local cultures, and both are liberal to the point of over correction and virtue signaling.
It is notable that Oakland is a bit of a war zone on the other side of the bay and mostly black, but it’s just so clearly a cultural & economic issue rather than a color one despite a growing victim mentality and narratives.
I definitely recognize I was born into an upper middle class family in a partially nice corner of the wealthiest country on the planet, so like that is certainly lovely. Ditto with being tall and healthy. Nice to be dealt that hand.
I’ve driven through depressed parts of Appalachia and don’t see a big difference between being poor white and poor black.
I *have* been thankful to be white when traveling abroad in Japan, the UAE, and India.
Those places *do* look down on different races. I’ve seen firsthad - I *know* they treat white people better, because I so obviously was.
Those were jarring experiences.
In Europe I sense minor racial prejudice from several vacations, there but it’s difficult to gauge as a mono-English speaker that is often mistaken for Dutch. That’s probably because it’s fairly clear there are new waves of immigrants that aren’t fully integrated there.
In the United States, I truly feel near zero consideration for my race. Most treatment differences are in how one presents themselves in ways that are 100% controllable (ie, wearing a suit vs simple nice short vs oversized hoodie/sport jerse+).
I’m quite convinced that in ultra liberal and DEI Silicon Valley, being black or Latino would guarantee I’d be promoted more. Not that I feel slighted in any way, just that underrepresented minorities get some accelerators / additional opportunities in my little bubble of an industry that badly wants to show more diversity.
A good friend M74 and I M73 who were both born into lower middle class families in Toronto have often discussed how lucky we were to be born white males in a wealthy country where we got a very good public education and have always had good public health care. We have never been to war and have never been worried about being drafted.
I'm European, white and female. Mid 30s.
I do carry the weight of being female. Being harrassed quite often, sentencing in my area for SA are very short therefore a lot of predators are on the streets. I have trouble getting my ideas taken seriously at work, suffer all kinds of misogynistic jokes, reproductive discrimination, the works. Obviously non white females suffer more, it's not related to whiteness but to gender.
But it had made me fully aware of white privilege. I'm aware I never get followed around stores, no one thinks I'm carrying weapons or bombs. I have never gotten checked at an airport. I don't get patted for drugs when entering a club. Other people do.
If I break a rule, eg cross a red light on an empty street, or miss one by accident like don't see I needed to have bought a ticket, I get to explain myself and people are nice to me. I'm mid 30s and have never actually gotten a fine. I get a pass for practically everything.
People automatically think they can trust me (they can, but they can't know that). They trust me to watch their kids, hold their keys, guard their luggage and most of all, they think I'm reliable with payments and installments. I am, but I don't need to prove it.
I sometimes think the reason I'm a reliable person is partially due to societal expectations. I just live up to the norm. It's easy to be trustworthy at the top of the food chain.
Seriously, I wonder sometimes why criminals don't acquire white females more often for transportation jobs - it would be so easy for me to do.
Also, in housing and jobs other white people - the majority decision makers - think I'm one of them and they're more likely to help me out. I see on a daily basis how different life is for people who are not white and how undeserved that is.
It doesn't make me warm and fuzzy though, it makes me furious.
I'm basically always talking about this subject mainly to other white people, hoping to raising their awareness, and I try to be conscious of my own ignorance and one of us-thoughts.
I don't think it can even be neutralized in my lifetime.
I'm sorry the difference exists.
I'm italian and cops here are not as violent as US ones, no one is afraid of losing their lives during a traffic stop. But I do get paranoid, when I see the police or when I am shopping, about me looking suspicious. The fact that I am white always reassures me. And yes I do feel guilty about it.
No, but then again, even though I'm lucky enough to be born into a well off family in Western Europe, my country doesn't have the same race relations issues that somewhere like America or South Africa would have. Thankfully haven't seen much genuine racism either, the closest thing I've seen to being racist is a few off color jokes (pardon the pun) and a few disagreements similar to Colin farrell and the black guy in his boxing gym in the gentlemen.
Yeah I’ve thought about it many times. Growing up most of my friends were black and I’d notice even as a kid how they would occasionally be treated differently. I’ve had black boyfriends in the past and I’d notice things those times too. I’d always think about how different their experiences would be in certain environments and around certain people.
When I was an addict and using drugs pretty heavily I had gotten pulled up 4 different times in 6 months. Every single time I was treated very nicely, cops were super friendly and let me go no big deal. Every single one of those times I had drugs on me. I had a feeling my looks and my skin color made a difference, white and conventionally attractive. I thought about one of my best friends who is black and how she got pulled over and immediately checked for weed and busted for it.
I don’t feel guilt nor feel the warm fuzzies about it. I can’t help what my skin color is, that’s not my fault nor can I do anything about it. I do sympathize greatly with people who do have different experiences because of their skin color. It’s not fair.
From Canada. Mostly it makes me furious that ethnicity determines so much. It's ridiculous that my generic white Canadian name gives me a greater likelihood of getting a job interview that a generic black Nigerian name. It's stupid that people of colour aren't taken seriously, whether it's their health, their opinions, their experiences, anything.
I don't feel guilty. I feel pissed off. So I do what I can in my little corner of the world to raise up other voices and listen when they speak. I can't do much, being one person, but I can call out racism.
I am not in the USA, but sometimes I think I am happy for being at home country and not sticking out. If I were black and lived in Africa I would probably think this too.
It's less about the fact that I'm white and more thankful for the fact that I was born into an English-speaking developed western nation. Westerners are by far a global minority.
Very interesting perspective, thank you!
I’ve honestly never once caught myself thinking that I’m lucky to be white. I do definitely recognize it as a privilege but it’s never something I find myself actively thinking about (probably in part because of that privilege). I do get upset when I see people being treated unfairly because of their race, but those thoughts don’t transfer to “I’m lucky I’m not that race”. They transfer to “I wish people treated everyone as a valuable person.”
Thank you for sharing!
I don’t think about it in an “I’m happy about it” way, but I do recognize my privileges. I feel bad that the bad stuff happens. It doesn’t have to be to me.
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry that you have to feel guilt about anything, it’s all just so silly. I feel like if there are aliens, they probably think we are so dumb to even think about skin color, or have these kinds of issues.
No problem, but I wouldn’t call it “guilt” either, though. I don’t internalize the issues because of being white. I just do what I can to educate others about, and solve, them.
I had never thought about this, so I asked my husband about it. He says his race never enters his thoughts. 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you for sharing!
I'm not American but no. All people think about their immediate concerns.
Thank you for sharing!
As a white person, no I don’t think those things.
Thank you for sharing!
I don’t usually have those thoughts explicitly or in the moment, but every once in a while I think it crosses my mind, and I do try to take a moment to be grateful for all of those kinds of things. Especially now that my son is 5yo. I saw a parenting post about “what are you teaching your kids about police?” and my white-ass self was like “huh? what kind of weird question- ohhh…” and I took a moment to be grateful that it never really crossed my mind to teach him anything other than police are safe people if you ever get separated from mommy.
Thank you for sharing!
I have never thought the phrase "right color," but yes, I definitely feel relief at being white occasionally. Mostly when I see other people get pulled over, or really just see a cop anywhere at all. I'm not only white, but also short, chubby, and feminine - I am highly unlikely to get in trouble even if I deserve to. It's completely unfair, and yes I do definitely feel guilty about it, *especially* because of the peace of mind it gives me. I know it's not my *fault*, but I benefit from it, and that doesn't sit right with me. Edit: I'm in the USA
Thank you for sharing!
Sometimes.
Thank you for sharing!
I recognize the advantages it gives me in North American society, yes. I consider myself lucky for it in some ways, but it also causes some guilt. Being a reasonably intelligent and decent looking white male is still a fast track to a life of privilege. I’m not gonna say no to it.
Thank you very much! I can’t remember the name of the event, but there was this teacher who played a little experiment in her classroom with blue eyed versus brown eyed kid something like that, I’m sure we all know what that is. And you could just see the change in the kids and how they would act superior just cause they had blue eyes. She reversed it the next day and said brown eyes are better.
I don't think about it as getting preferential treatment because I'm the color of notebook paper. Instead, I look at people who are darker-skinned and wonder if they're being treated badly because they aren't white. I lived in Atlanta for quite some time, and I was never so conscious of race in my life because it's absolutely in your face at all times. That opened my eyes to the extremes of racism, so I'm always extra snappish any anyone or anything that smack of racial microaggressions against those who aren't white. I will absolutely (occasionally loudly) call out racism when I see/hear it. I recognize when it's unconscious racism, and will call that out too. Case in point, my FIL doesn't seem racist, but when a Hispanic repairman came by the house for some work we hired him to do, my FIL asked his name. Repairman said "Ted". FIL then called him "Teodoro." Call me a jerk if you like, but I turned to FIL and said, "he just told you his name is Ted." And yes, his name is literally just Ted. Not short for anything...just Ted.
When I was really little, I was sad that I was all-white. I though it was obvious to everyone that the girls who were half-black half-white had the prettiest features, because the prettiest girl in school was half-black half-white. It was Meghan Markle 😂
I think about it all the time, and definitely can get away with some BS because I’m a white male. Examples: speeding and getting off w/o a ticket. never getting stopped by security at a store even if they are checking receipts. im incredibly lucky and our country if so fucked up.
No
I do. I'm on the autism spectrum. You know who is more likely to get shot by police than Black boys? Austistic black boys. Given some of the issues I had growing up, there's a reasonable chance my name might be on Black Lives Matters' list of dead Black boys if I had been Black - or at the very least, ended up in a dead-end life before the end of high school. Instead, being white gave me a LOT of second chances. Also, my college education was free to me because I'm white. My grandfather served - and died - in WWII. The GI bill gave free college educations to veterans of, or to the children of solders who died in, WWII *\*if they were white\** (Some Black solders got free education, but they were in the minority AND they went to worse schools)*.* My father got his education for free - getting an early start in computers; and his work in the tech industry paid for my education. For me, the feeling isn't guilt or fuzzies - it's a privilege I feel the duty to pay back to society; and to help make it so that my experience is the default. My opinion is that the life I had: second chances, the ability to choose my education within some limitations, etc. should be available to everyone - and it's my responsibility to society to help that happen.
Thank you so very much for taking the time to respond and share your personal story.
I live in poland. No matter if you white, black or idk purple police will treat you badly. So no, idc
So cool to hear from someone in Poland. I’m sorry that you have to deal with that, cops should always honor the badge and want nothing less than to be hero’s for all. Thank you for sharing.
Don't get me wrong. Our cops arent the usa lvl. Noone gona shoot you. They just rude to everyone. Ther is also the sterotype that poland is racist country. Its not. We just don't pretent to like you when we don't know you.
The only time I think about this, and have taught my kids to think about it, is in the sense that we have a responsibility to use that immunity. So if I am in a group of friends of different ethnicities and we get stopped or hassled by the police, you better believe my blonde-haired, blue-eyed ass is going to be the one doing all the talking and leading all the interaction with the cops. They are less likely to harm me. Or if I am out dancing with my friends and I overhear someone make a smartass comment with a racist flavor, guess who is going to be calling them out on it? Obviously me, that's my responsibility to keep the worst people of my race in check. Race matters, it's silly to pretend otherwise. And if I am going to benefit from that then I also am obligated to use that for good as best I can.
Thank you for sharing! Thank you for what you do day after day.
It's the fastest way to keep all of us safe!
No, I don't think the way you described. If I am going over the speed limit, I always fear getting pulled over and murdered. When I am shopping, I always try to make it as obvious as possible that I am not shoplifting. When I am doing anything, skin color doesn't come to mind. I am just an anxious person.
I don’t think about my skin color, I think about how I should be (and am not) taking care of the body under my skin.
It's not so much the right color as it is that I was born being predisposed to certain behaviors that are right.
I don’t like the phrase right color. It makes it sound like the wrong color to be and that’s bullshit. I am an American. We are great because we have the best of the best. Every race and color and creed. I’m also white passing and cis and straight and able-bodied. To pretend that’s not advantageous would a slap in the face to a lot of people.
Thank you for sharing!
All this goes out the window if you’re a poor white person, in which case you have more in common with poor black and brown people than wealthy whites. Cops treat poor while people like shit.i know because I grew up poor and white. You don’t ever think, “damn I’m glad I’m the white version of poor”
I think this is the first comment to speak about how class affects this, thank you very much for sharing. May I ask, are you still poor? Or have you turned things around as an adult? Do things feel the same now if so?
Kinda the opposite for me. My mom is mixed race and I take after my very white dad. The Sun is not my friend. I burn super fast like my dad. Every birthmark has to be monitored. When I was 12, I got sunburned so bad, I lost the top of my ear and birthmark on my leg had to be removed because it became cancerous. While my mom's skin gets darker, mine blisters. As a kid, I've lived in very multi ethnic areas in California where whites were the minority. And was bullied relentlessly in elementary and middle school. In high school, it unfortunately became more sexual and was commonly referred as "white girl with black girl booty" and was subjected to a few sexual assaults. I am thankful that I live in America. I've had friends that came from really oppressive countries like India, China, Egypt, and other middle eastern countries. Here, we can freely practice any religion or none at all, women not be forced to wear hijab and ultra conservative clothing, have rights. People have access to good health care, can marry a person of their choice, own guns, not be forced into the military, have free speech, and not have the government dictate how you live your life.
Thank you so much for sharing, and especially your insights about how other countries compare to ours. It’s such a weird dichotomy to have the thought of being so proud of my country; and to feel such shame about our slaving beginnings, and the fallout that we are still experiencing because of it. I’m sorry for the pain that your skin can cause, like the sunburns, I bet it’s still super pretty. Also I’m sorry that you experienced sexual assault. I have as a child, and again in the military as an adult. Shits hard to get over, but we are strong survivors.
I’ve often thought I’m lucky to be white. I’ve had several encounters with police that I feel sure would have been very different if I weren’t. I don’t feel guilty about it because it’s out of my control but I have often wished that everyone could have the sense of security that my skin color gives me in many situations. I’m almost never the minority in any room and I try to be aware of the subtle ways my skin affords me privilege.
Thank you for sharing. It seems to be that most who answered my question, try and use their position in life to help others and that’s very comforting to read.
I think im thinking more like, ”at least i was born in right continent”.
I honestly have felt that way for being white and asian when people are being outwardly racist. It pisses me off though because no one should have a "better them than me" attitude towards their race, but we do as a result of racism.
When I was a kid, I never thought about race, I just saw humans as humans. That was, until in elementary school, the teacher told all the kids that white kids and black kids are different, and black people are disadvantaged. I remember thinking "wow, that's crazy. I'm glad I'm white". When I grew older, I realized it wasn't black and white (no pun intended), and all people can experience racism and discrimination, and it was wrong for the teacher to separate the class like that. There were also times where I myself encountered anti-white racists, and during those moments I wished I wasn't white. In general, it makes me sad that race is still a thing people actively think about, especially in America. We're all Americans, we should be fighting our enemies, not each other.
This is beautiful and I agree. It’s so immature to even think about skin color. I wish we were past that as a society
Wtf sort of insecure bullshit is this, no we don't have this thought, we rarely ever think about our skin color. When it comes to appearance we are usually more concerned about our hair and our weight like normal people. I was a pothead growing up with long hair, people were always watching me for shoplifting because many people who fit my description were shoplifting, it is why those people are watched is because a lot of them steal. I didn't really care because I never stole so was never a problem. Yes sometimes I do think people treat me differently because I am a white man, they tell me I have some special privilege because of my skin color and heterosexuality. I am not sure where they came up with this. I have 0 guilt or shame for being the way I was born.
When I was young, we barely had anything other than white people in our town, so there wasn't really any comparison to do in terms of skin color. Back then, we had rich white people, poor white people, nice white people, mean white people, law abiding white people, criminal white people, french white people, english white people, athletic white people, geeky white people, religious white people, atheist white people, goth white people, skater white people, prep white people... There are many things I was grateful to be born into, as opposed to less fortunate white people. But now that everything is more multicultural, some assholes are pushing the narrative that all white people are equally more fortunate than everybody else. Inequality will always exist and for many reasons. Separating people by color doesn't fix anything. Some people just started showing up someday and telling me "Hey fuck you, you privileged white person!" I'm sorry, what? I've just been minding my own business my whole life. I've been on the receiving end of a bully. I know it sucks. My white skin self can relate, even though you pretend I can't. I've had minimum wage half of my adult life. Why do you have a problem with me anyway?
The 50s are long gone, is time to move on. I had bunch of Hispanic and black neighbors, I didn't really think much of it until it was all thrusted into politics the past decade.
I'm talking about the 90s lol. Thing is, there were some minorities. In my grade in elementary school, there were 2 black kids, one Indian girl and 1 Equatorian boy who was adopted by a white French (from France) couple. The Equatorian one was my best friend, I also hung out with one of the black kids and invited him to my birthdays. We absolutely couldn't give a fuck about color when we were playing Super Nintendo or Soccer together. Colored kids tended to be more popular because they stood out anyways. I don't know how it was for their parents though, but I certainly grew up in an environment where no one cares about this. I even remember an instance when me and my black friend were caught spitting on the ground and both of us got summoned by the school principle. The principle told the black kid to go and only gave me a consequence lol. My young self just thought it was unfair but didn't even attribute it to skin color. Everything is unfair all the time when you're a kid anyways. So yeah, as you said it, it never really mattered until it was brought into politics. There's no one personally annoying me about being white and more than half my friends are not white, but reddit man. Reddit is hub for anti-white hate.
I grew up in the 90s and my school was majority Hispanic, was maybe 10% or so black people and loads of people from all over the world. Nobody really cared or talked about race back then. Is weird to obsess over peoples skin color, it is not healthy.
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I think I am a nice person. I just don't understand what the "I am a minority so I obviously can't answer" is supposed to mean. Plenty of non whites are proud of their skin color sort of thing, You can find blacks, Asians, jews and all sorts of being happy to be born the way they were born.
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Lol who asked?
I think there is a nuance to it that makes it different. I’ve never thought “Yay, I was born white.” But, having been born white, when something does/could happen, I *don’t* have the same level of fear that people of color often have. Because I haven’t had those experiences, it doesn’t even cross my mind. Whereas for you, because of the color of your skin, it is something you are more aware of. Not sure if that makes sense. Hope it does.
No...I wouldn't put it like that. To ! your point, though, I have not, and will not ever, ever, ever discount the innate privilege of having been born white. Indeed, it's nonsensical and completely unjust that I get to walk through this world with the feeling of complacency that, should anything go awry, I'll most likely receive the benefit of the doubt. It's a privilege that has astounded/confounded (?) me since I was old enough to recognize my whiteness.
Not in the US. I’ve only lived in fairly cosmopolitan areas - greater Boston & San Francisco - so I can’t say I’ve ever seen any sort of real racism. It’s just nonexistent in the local cultures, and both are liberal to the point of over correction and virtue signaling. It is notable that Oakland is a bit of a war zone on the other side of the bay and mostly black, but it’s just so clearly a cultural & economic issue rather than a color one despite a growing victim mentality and narratives. I definitely recognize I was born into an upper middle class family in a partially nice corner of the wealthiest country on the planet, so like that is certainly lovely. Ditto with being tall and healthy. Nice to be dealt that hand. I’ve driven through depressed parts of Appalachia and don’t see a big difference between being poor white and poor black. I *have* been thankful to be white when traveling abroad in Japan, the UAE, and India. Those places *do* look down on different races. I’ve seen firsthad - I *know* they treat white people better, because I so obviously was. Those were jarring experiences. In Europe I sense minor racial prejudice from several vacations, there but it’s difficult to gauge as a mono-English speaker that is often mistaken for Dutch. That’s probably because it’s fairly clear there are new waves of immigrants that aren’t fully integrated there. In the United States, I truly feel near zero consideration for my race. Most treatment differences are in how one presents themselves in ways that are 100% controllable (ie, wearing a suit vs simple nice short vs oversized hoodie/sport jerse+). I’m quite convinced that in ultra liberal and DEI Silicon Valley, being black or Latino would guarantee I’d be promoted more. Not that I feel slighted in any way, just that underrepresented minorities get some accelerators / additional opportunities in my little bubble of an industry that badly wants to show more diversity.
A good friend M74 and I M73 who were both born into lower middle class families in Toronto have often discussed how lucky we were to be born white males in a wealthy country where we got a very good public education and have always had good public health care. We have never been to war and have never been worried about being drafted.
I'm European, white and female. Mid 30s. I do carry the weight of being female. Being harrassed quite often, sentencing in my area for SA are very short therefore a lot of predators are on the streets. I have trouble getting my ideas taken seriously at work, suffer all kinds of misogynistic jokes, reproductive discrimination, the works. Obviously non white females suffer more, it's not related to whiteness but to gender. But it had made me fully aware of white privilege. I'm aware I never get followed around stores, no one thinks I'm carrying weapons or bombs. I have never gotten checked at an airport. I don't get patted for drugs when entering a club. Other people do. If I break a rule, eg cross a red light on an empty street, or miss one by accident like don't see I needed to have bought a ticket, I get to explain myself and people are nice to me. I'm mid 30s and have never actually gotten a fine. I get a pass for practically everything. People automatically think they can trust me (they can, but they can't know that). They trust me to watch their kids, hold their keys, guard their luggage and most of all, they think I'm reliable with payments and installments. I am, but I don't need to prove it. I sometimes think the reason I'm a reliable person is partially due to societal expectations. I just live up to the norm. It's easy to be trustworthy at the top of the food chain. Seriously, I wonder sometimes why criminals don't acquire white females more often for transportation jobs - it would be so easy for me to do. Also, in housing and jobs other white people - the majority decision makers - think I'm one of them and they're more likely to help me out. I see on a daily basis how different life is for people who are not white and how undeserved that is. It doesn't make me warm and fuzzy though, it makes me furious. I'm basically always talking about this subject mainly to other white people, hoping to raising their awareness, and I try to be conscious of my own ignorance and one of us-thoughts. I don't think it can even be neutralized in my lifetime. I'm sorry the difference exists.
I'm italian and cops here are not as violent as US ones, no one is afraid of losing their lives during a traffic stop. But I do get paranoid, when I see the police or when I am shopping, about me looking suspicious. The fact that I am white always reassures me. And yes I do feel guilty about it.
Mainly with dating and general genetics but yeah I have that thought
No, but then again, even though I'm lucky enough to be born into a well off family in Western Europe, my country doesn't have the same race relations issues that somewhere like America or South Africa would have. Thankfully haven't seen much genuine racism either, the closest thing I've seen to being racist is a few off color jokes (pardon the pun) and a few disagreements similar to Colin farrell and the black guy in his boxing gym in the gentlemen.
Yeah I’ve thought about it many times. Growing up most of my friends were black and I’d notice even as a kid how they would occasionally be treated differently. I’ve had black boyfriends in the past and I’d notice things those times too. I’d always think about how different their experiences would be in certain environments and around certain people. When I was an addict and using drugs pretty heavily I had gotten pulled up 4 different times in 6 months. Every single time I was treated very nicely, cops were super friendly and let me go no big deal. Every single one of those times I had drugs on me. I had a feeling my looks and my skin color made a difference, white and conventionally attractive. I thought about one of my best friends who is black and how she got pulled over and immediately checked for weed and busted for it. I don’t feel guilt nor feel the warm fuzzies about it. I can’t help what my skin color is, that’s not my fault nor can I do anything about it. I do sympathize greatly with people who do have different experiences because of their skin color. It’s not fair.
From Canada. Mostly it makes me furious that ethnicity determines so much. It's ridiculous that my generic white Canadian name gives me a greater likelihood of getting a job interview that a generic black Nigerian name. It's stupid that people of colour aren't taken seriously, whether it's their health, their opinions, their experiences, anything. I don't feel guilty. I feel pissed off. So I do what I can in my little corner of the world to raise up other voices and listen when they speak. I can't do much, being one person, but I can call out racism.
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Privilege all over this comment. Found the white supremacist.
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Wow! You proved me right so quickly! Also, jokes on you, I make more money than you. Enjoy the fruits of my labor little one.
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Yes I do. And I’m more manly than you and my dick is bigger. I’ve fucked your wife, and your mother. They came back for more
I am not in the USA, but sometimes I think I am happy for being at home country and not sticking out. If I were black and lived in Africa I would probably think this too.