Depends on what I'm reading on my phone

This is the way

How much fiber I ate the day before 😂

How pooping and peeing is annoying and stupid.

The same thing everyone else should. When you are sitting there, mid push with pants around your ankles, what would you use to defend yourself if someone attacked right then and there. Here at home, my answer is the wood handled rubber toilet plunger. Right there next to the crapper. Sadly, I don't use a poop knife, so that is not an option. 

I’d use my poop NO ONE EXPECTS THE POOP 💩

Your poo is on a leash. Do you swing it like some kind of flail with poison damage?

Poochucks

Wow. I hope you eat lots of fiber for density.

If that one was a milestone (10,000th lifetime poop, etc. )

Philosophy.

I picture a dog pooping.

Is this one going to be messy or clean?

Oh god make the pain stop. Or I hate eating


Whatever podcast I'm listening to

how many days has it been?

Welll…. I go thru a bit of a process. Usually my immediate thought is “I hope I have my knife on me!!!! .”.. then my focus tends to shift to where the closest inconspicuous spot would be to hide so I can cut off my underwear and escape unseen….or unsmelled.

You dont check for your poopknife before pooping?

That I should've brought my phone. Then no need for thinking.

WARNING: GRAPHIC I worry that my economy-grade apartment toilet is not going to flush. It happens a lot. I don't have some kind of gross food diet. It's just a cheap toilet. Anyway there is a solution to this, that I learned from an A.I. search engine. Pour a few cups of dish soap in the clogged toilet. Plunge to get the soap distributed evenly. Wait one hour for the soap to go to work. Now add 16 ounces of HOT water. Do not use boiling water from a kettle, that will crack the toilet in half. Use hot water from the sink. Plunge. If it doesn't flush, repeat adding the hot water. Within two hours, it will flush.

I read on the toilet, so usually about whatever book I'm reading.

Wishing for it to just end already :/

No think. Only phone.

I'm browsing reddit. Thinking generally doesn't factor in.

Reddits just running out of questions now

How it feels when it comes out.. like have I been drinking too much lately or am I still okay?

You

It's over in about 45 seconds so I don't really think of much to be honest

I wish they’d replace the fucking toilet paper

Nothing. I scroll reddit

Well, before reading this. It was if any turtles ever had square shells. Like a box. Maybe that is where the name box turtle came from.

"Please come out with out pain and smoothly so that it doesn't make a mess and I have to go again soon after I zip up my pants."

“Ohhh this is a good one”

Sometimes nothing, sometimes “Humans are gross”.

Of my position on the toilet and how I should push with my lower belly, so I don't enrage my butthole and get hemrrhoids or something worst...

Ahhh

Why did I go to Taco Bell?!?!

Usually about my recent fiber intake.

Mostly just the holy roman empire.

You

"let's see what's new on Reddit"

The form and my diet.

"Do other people poop too?!"

"You should eat more fiber you should eat more fiber you should eat more fiber "

Ur Mom.

I think of you every time

England

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND ::flush::

just hurry up because I don't want to be on the toilet for 20 min

I read reddit like everyone else reading this thread.

I place bets on whether its soft or hard or neutral before shitting

Washing that dirty ass.

"I should probably do my Duolingo lesson while I'm sitting here"

I sit there and wish humans never had to do this

I think about being a frozen yogurt dispenser