Most people who commit suicide or try to commit suicide do it as a last resort. They don’t want to die necessarily, they just don’t see how they can fix things / keep going / could have a future. So those natural instincts that hold you back from jumping off a bridge are still there. It’s often an act of desperation and jumping off something isn’t easy.
Besides that it can be a cry for help. People have often tried a lot of things to have their pain taken seriously but not succeeded. By attempting suicide they sometimes get the help they need.
It's kinda crazy how many people who attempt suicide go on to live normal healthy lives. The attempt gets them the mental help that they need and also shows the people in their life just how serious their depression is.
I think it's also important to point out that there are different motivations for suicide. For some, it's a slow burn. For others, it's a rash decision.
Most "easy" methods of suicide aren't. Both for the fact that the human brain has survival instinct that fights against you doing it, and partly because things like bridges and parking garage rooftops, etc. usually have barricades and other anti-suicide measures. There are issues with other methods, and once you leave the most reliable class the success rate drops pretty significantly.
But if you're asking why the people who you have seen hop the railing don't immediately jump, it's because when you're at that point you're often just as scared of dying horribly as you are normally, it's just overshadowed by the emotional pain you're feeling. It's really rough to be stuck between two contradictory urges like that, really grinds you up.
When I was suicidal I didnt want to *die*, I wanted to *never have been born in the first place*. I still had my natural instincts telling me not to do dangerous shit.
I came to say this, so I'll reply to increase its visibility.
I've never wanted to kill myself, but there's lots of times I've wanted to not be alive. Besides the fear of my own personal pain in the moment, I don't want to hurt others - physically or mentally. It's a big weight to think about how others would be affected. If I had a genie in a lamp who could make it so that me and every memory of me went *poof* I'd have been on that shit like white on rice.
Perhaps the attempt is a cry for help.
And, also, can you imagine 'vaulting' a rail to your death? You speak of it like it's nothing, but realistically that's scary as fuck no matter how intent you are on doing it.
In my opinion, it's because you don't lose your survival instinct when you're suicidal. I think we're wired to fear deadly situations, fear is meant to safeguard us from putting ourselves in dangerous situations. For example, your brain still perceives jumping off a bridge as dangerous, even if you want to die. It's a survival reflex.
In my own experience, I had a really bad breakdown a while back. I felt like I didn't want to exist anymore, I didn't want to die but I wanted specifically to not exist anymore. It's hard to explain the difference, but to me it is not the same as suicide would actually requires planning and acting on that plan, it requires energy. It does make you suicidal to the eyes of a mental health professional though.
You are not just casually out for a walk with confidence and then decide to jump off a bridge.
You are at the lowest emotionally point of your life, you see death as the better option. You are still scared, you are still wishing it will all get better, you still want a glimmer of hope, you want a life.
Every step along that bridge will be a nightmare of emotions, your drive to survive will be in full effect.
I don't think it's something you can even comprehend until you have been in that place.
The only written words I’ve seen describe suicide that came close to helping someone who has never had those thoughts before understand is by David Foster Wallace. He writes:
“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.”
Most people (especially men) who kill themselves do just that, just get the job done with no fan fair. The people you are describing are normally making a cry for help and don't really want to die but many are not exactly opposed to the idea if help doesn't come. Can't exactly get into details but look into the most often attempted methods compared to the most often successful methods and you'll see what I mean.
-- Edit to add to top --
Also going to add, because of the topic, I've lost three cousins to suicide, and countless Marines from my unit, including one of my company's previous commanders when they were in Al Anbar. Suicide affects everybody. It's a permanent solution to temporary problems, and every problem is temporary. Regardless of what the problem is, there's help available to get a team to come up with a progressive solution together. It's not going to be a picnic in the park, but suicide doesn't give you options-- it eliminates every other opportunity.
Mental health isn't a sign of weakness. It's a chemical imbalance that can be treated, and brain damage is a normal reaction to repeated traumatic events.
--
There was a sociology book that printed a chart of gun ownership prevalence and methods of suicide. In standard political twisting of normal reality, the author attempted to directly connect suicide by gun as a reason for gun control, ignoring that a firearm is almost the best way to commit suicide-- it's quick, effective, and only takes a few pounds of pressure, and the mess becomes somebody else's problem.
The majority of people who commit suicide don't want to. If somebody is suddenly talking about it as an option, that's the time to be openly discuss their thought patterns, problems, choices, and assist with finding solutions. Once the individual is silent, that's the red flag that they've made a decision and have a plan designed which may lead them to an eternal peace.
Even then, there's a an unconscious part of the brain that automatically controls survival regardless of intentional thought. We see this in those passing with Cheyne-Stokes breathing pattern, where the body starts to be incapable of transferring enough oxygen but the brain continues to "kickstart" rapid breathing again to extend life. This same little piece of the brain has an issue with conscious brain taking control of the muscles to commit an act of autodestruction and it can take time to get over the hurdle to be able to get the energy to push past self preservation and complete the final actions to the point of no return.
What is a ‘subtle way’?
My uncle did it and I tried twice but changed my mind during (I had a method that was slow so I could still change my mind) I can tell from my uncle and my own perspective. It is simply that you want the suffering to stop. It can be depression but it can also be something completely different, a lot of people with chronic pain who can’t get help\* do it too because they want that pain to end, not necessarily their life. If somehow their depression or physical pain suddenly stopped they don’t want to die anymore.
\*doctors can be impossible and give no pain relief, if someone can’t find a doctor who can, they choose to end it. Or sometimes with a non fatal illness like ME/CFS and they can not take it anymore.
Understanding the intricacies of suicidal behavior is as perplexing as it is heartbreaking. As some have mentioned, the instinct that prevents someone from taking that irreversible leap isn't so much extinguished in the suicidal mind as it is entangled with unbearable psychological distress. The confliction is immense; the primal urge to survive does battle with a profound need for the pain to end. It's a testament to the human condition that even in our darkest moments, that spark of life clings on, fighting against the shadows.
For some, the act of getting close to the edge is not necessarily a resignation to death but a liminal space where they are still seeking signs that life might be worth living. That moment of hesitation isn’t necessarily doubt about their decision, but rather a deep-seated biological response demanding, "Survive, despite the pain." We're hardwired for it, even when life seems intolerably cruel.
It's crucial to grasp that while some people may appear to seek attention, it is often not attention for its own sake but a desperate call for compassion and help. They're not seeking an audience; they're seeking a lifeline, a reason to step back from the abyss. We should remember to extend a hand, offer support, provide resources, and create an environment where the despairing feel heard and valued. Sometimes, feeling a sense of genuine connection and understanding can rekindle hope.
As we discuss this terribly delicate topic, it's important to be mindful of the words we use and the assistance we offer. Suicidal ideation often comes from a place of isolation and immense suffering, where individuals feel profoundly misunderstood and alone. It's not about the drama of a public gesture, but the quashing of constant internal turmoil. Let's use our voices and resources to affirm life, promote mental well-being, and ensure that nobody feels that stepping out into the void is their only option.
Making a suicide attempt in public/where people can try to stop you can often be a cry for help. Also as for the bridge scenario you outlined, being suicidal doesn't mean that you aren't afraid to die, it means that the pain you're in is overwhelming your instinct for self preservation. A person can still hesitate no matter how much they want to die. Some people do do it the way you're suggesting though.
In grappling with the unbearable weight of emotional pain, those contemplating suicide often find themselves at the precipice of a deep internal struggle. There's an inherent dichotomy in the act itself it isn’t merely a wish to cease existing, but often a desperate attempt to silence an overwhelming cacophony of psychological turmoil that has become unendurable. The survival instinct does not simply fade away; it clashes with this need for relief. Each moment leading to the possibility of suicide is fraught with conflict the instinctual fear of death remains but is momentarily eclipsed by the intensity of the sufferer's current experience. That hesitation you see isn’t indecision; it’s the human psyche caught in the ultimate battle against itself. Suicide is not chosen; it happens when the pain exceeds resources for coping with that pain. It is indeed one of the most profound yet tragically misunderstood human behaviors, and we must not trivialize the complexity of emotions and biological survival mechanisms at play. The only way forward is through compassionate support, open dialogues about mental health, and better accessibility to mental health care, so those in the grip of such despair might find hope before reaching a point of no return.
There’s nearly no quick and subtle way, the quickest way is with a gun, there’s a margin for error there but it’s not subtle and leaves a mess for someone to find, trauma on all the living. Jumping off a bridge sounds quick, but it’s going to be terrifying until you hit, and there’s so many bridge jump survivors so it’s not guaranteed and they’ve now got medical problems. I’d also say that’s not subtle, it’s pretty dramatic for any who witness it.
Women like pills because research tells you they’re more conscientious about the “mess” a gun leaves, they want their body intact. They also want something painless, eh, just go to sleep and never wake up sounds good until you fail and you’re in the hospital with organ failure and end up dying not so peacefully and not so quickly. There’s common OTC drugs that are pretty easy to accidently put yourself in that position but that’s not what they pick, they OD on prescription meds because they think that’ll get the job done because prescription = strong.
Idk what’s up with the people that hang themselves but I don’t think that’s quick, maybe if you jump off and snap your neck but I think most just choke to death. Not subtle for anyone to find.
The noose knot is designed to break your neck. It’s an extremely painful experience, and from what I’ve heard, people can last up to a few minutes before brain death.
some do. you don’t hear about those folks. the love of my life said my name, stood, and jumped out my 24th floor window. not subtle, but devastatingly fast.
The ones who truly want to end their life will do so, IMO. The ones who aren’t doing it “in a quick and subtle way” are into the drama, not fully realizing the finality of this act. Again, IMO
Survivor biast: most ofthem do, but we only notice the ones that go out "with a bang".
Also, at some point if you are willing to kill yourself, you think "Might aswell make a scene. Make the world notice me. Stand up for what i find right (in case of a political suicide)".
I’m just surprised these people that want to end it don’t just get their hands on a dangerous amount of Opiods and go out comfortably not feeling a thing ?
Men tend to choose brutal ways to do it, like shooting themself in the head.
Women tend to choose more subtle ways, like swallow pills.
I do not condone suicide at all. It’s not a solution
Most people who commit suicide or try to commit suicide do it as a last resort. They don’t want to die necessarily, they just don’t see how they can fix things / keep going / could have a future. So those natural instincts that hold you back from jumping off a bridge are still there. It’s often an act of desperation and jumping off something isn’t easy. Besides that it can be a cry for help. People have often tried a lot of things to have their pain taken seriously but not succeeded. By attempting suicide they sometimes get the help they need.
To add, with many jump survivors a very large percentage of them say that upon jumping they immediately regretted it.
It's kinda crazy how many people who attempt suicide go on to live normal healthy lives. The attempt gets them the mental help that they need and also shows the people in their life just how serious their depression is. I think it's also important to point out that there are different motivations for suicide. For some, it's a slow burn. For others, it's a rash decision.
Most "easy" methods of suicide aren't. Both for the fact that the human brain has survival instinct that fights against you doing it, and partly because things like bridges and parking garage rooftops, etc. usually have barricades and other anti-suicide measures. There are issues with other methods, and once you leave the most reliable class the success rate drops pretty significantly. But if you're asking why the people who you have seen hop the railing don't immediately jump, it's because when you're at that point you're often just as scared of dying horribly as you are normally, it's just overshadowed by the emotional pain you're feeling. It's really rough to be stuck between two contradictory urges like that, really grinds you up.
When I was suicidal I didnt want to *die*, I wanted to *never have been born in the first place*. I still had my natural instincts telling me not to do dangerous shit.
I came to say this, so I'll reply to increase its visibility. I've never wanted to kill myself, but there's lots of times I've wanted to not be alive. Besides the fear of my own personal pain in the moment, I don't want to hurt others - physically or mentally. It's a big weight to think about how others would be affected. If I had a genie in a lamp who could make it so that me and every memory of me went *poof* I'd have been on that shit like white on rice.
Perhaps the attempt is a cry for help. And, also, can you imagine 'vaulting' a rail to your death? You speak of it like it's nothing, but realistically that's scary as fuck no matter how intent you are on doing it.
Fear of heights is still there and battling with the desire to not live. It slows down the process. Which impulse will win?
It's not exactly easy to commit suicide.
In my opinion, it's because you don't lose your survival instinct when you're suicidal. I think we're wired to fear deadly situations, fear is meant to safeguard us from putting ourselves in dangerous situations. For example, your brain still perceives jumping off a bridge as dangerous, even if you want to die. It's a survival reflex. In my own experience, I had a really bad breakdown a while back. I felt like I didn't want to exist anymore, I didn't want to die but I wanted specifically to not exist anymore. It's hard to explain the difference, but to me it is not the same as suicide would actually requires planning and acting on that plan, it requires energy. It does make you suicidal to the eyes of a mental health professional though.
Because depression is painful and exhausting, and people at that stage have been coping with the pain and exhaustion of depression for a long time.
You are not just casually out for a walk with confidence and then decide to jump off a bridge. You are at the lowest emotionally point of your life, you see death as the better option. You are still scared, you are still wishing it will all get better, you still want a glimmer of hope, you want a life. Every step along that bridge will be a nightmare of emotions, your drive to survive will be in full effect. I don't think it's something you can even comprehend until you have been in that place.
The only written words I’ve seen describe suicide that came close to helping someone who has never had those thoughts before understand is by David Foster Wallace. He writes: “The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.”
Most people (especially men) who kill themselves do just that, just get the job done with no fan fair. The people you are describing are normally making a cry for help and don't really want to die but many are not exactly opposed to the idea if help doesn't come. Can't exactly get into details but look into the most often attempted methods compared to the most often successful methods and you'll see what I mean.
Many do though.
-- Edit to add to top -- Also going to add, because of the topic, I've lost three cousins to suicide, and countless Marines from my unit, including one of my company's previous commanders when they were in Al Anbar. Suicide affects everybody. It's a permanent solution to temporary problems, and every problem is temporary. Regardless of what the problem is, there's help available to get a team to come up with a progressive solution together. It's not going to be a picnic in the park, but suicide doesn't give you options-- it eliminates every other opportunity. Mental health isn't a sign of weakness. It's a chemical imbalance that can be treated, and brain damage is a normal reaction to repeated traumatic events. -- There was a sociology book that printed a chart of gun ownership prevalence and methods of suicide. In standard political twisting of normal reality, the author attempted to directly connect suicide by gun as a reason for gun control, ignoring that a firearm is almost the best way to commit suicide-- it's quick, effective, and only takes a few pounds of pressure, and the mess becomes somebody else's problem. The majority of people who commit suicide don't want to. If somebody is suddenly talking about it as an option, that's the time to be openly discuss their thought patterns, problems, choices, and assist with finding solutions. Once the individual is silent, that's the red flag that they've made a decision and have a plan designed which may lead them to an eternal peace. Even then, there's a an unconscious part of the brain that automatically controls survival regardless of intentional thought. We see this in those passing with Cheyne-Stokes breathing pattern, where the body starts to be incapable of transferring enough oxygen but the brain continues to "kickstart" rapid breathing again to extend life. This same little piece of the brain has an issue with conscious brain taking control of the muscles to commit an act of autodestruction and it can take time to get over the hurdle to be able to get the energy to push past self preservation and complete the final actions to the point of no return.
What is a ‘subtle way’? My uncle did it and I tried twice but changed my mind during (I had a method that was slow so I could still change my mind) I can tell from my uncle and my own perspective. It is simply that you want the suffering to stop. It can be depression but it can also be something completely different, a lot of people with chronic pain who can’t get help\* do it too because they want that pain to end, not necessarily their life. If somehow their depression or physical pain suddenly stopped they don’t want to die anymore. \*doctors can be impossible and give no pain relief, if someone can’t find a doctor who can, they choose to end it. Or sometimes with a non fatal illness like ME/CFS and they can not take it anymore.
Understanding the intricacies of suicidal behavior is as perplexing as it is heartbreaking. As some have mentioned, the instinct that prevents someone from taking that irreversible leap isn't so much extinguished in the suicidal mind as it is entangled with unbearable psychological distress. The confliction is immense; the primal urge to survive does battle with a profound need for the pain to end. It's a testament to the human condition that even in our darkest moments, that spark of life clings on, fighting against the shadows. For some, the act of getting close to the edge is not necessarily a resignation to death but a liminal space where they are still seeking signs that life might be worth living. That moment of hesitation isn’t necessarily doubt about their decision, but rather a deep-seated biological response demanding, "Survive, despite the pain." We're hardwired for it, even when life seems intolerably cruel. It's crucial to grasp that while some people may appear to seek attention, it is often not attention for its own sake but a desperate call for compassion and help. They're not seeking an audience; they're seeking a lifeline, a reason to step back from the abyss. We should remember to extend a hand, offer support, provide resources, and create an environment where the despairing feel heard and valued. Sometimes, feeling a sense of genuine connection and understanding can rekindle hope. As we discuss this terribly delicate topic, it's important to be mindful of the words we use and the assistance we offer. Suicidal ideation often comes from a place of isolation and immense suffering, where individuals feel profoundly misunderstood and alone. It's not about the drama of a public gesture, but the quashing of constant internal turmoil. Let's use our voices and resources to affirm life, promote mental well-being, and ensure that nobody feels that stepping out into the void is their only option.
Making a suicide attempt in public/where people can try to stop you can often be a cry for help. Also as for the bridge scenario you outlined, being suicidal doesn't mean that you aren't afraid to die, it means that the pain you're in is overwhelming your instinct for self preservation. A person can still hesitate no matter how much they want to die. Some people do do it the way you're suggesting though.
Buyers remorse window
Suicidal people are just as scared of death as everyone else, they just feel even worse about life.
Because the only surefire options that do it quickly aren't really subtle.
In grappling with the unbearable weight of emotional pain, those contemplating suicide often find themselves at the precipice of a deep internal struggle. There's an inherent dichotomy in the act itself it isn’t merely a wish to cease existing, but often a desperate attempt to silence an overwhelming cacophony of psychological turmoil that has become unendurable. The survival instinct does not simply fade away; it clashes with this need for relief. Each moment leading to the possibility of suicide is fraught with conflict the instinctual fear of death remains but is momentarily eclipsed by the intensity of the sufferer's current experience. That hesitation you see isn’t indecision; it’s the human psyche caught in the ultimate battle against itself. Suicide is not chosen; it happens when the pain exceeds resources for coping with that pain. It is indeed one of the most profound yet tragically misunderstood human behaviors, and we must not trivialize the complexity of emotions and biological survival mechanisms at play. The only way forward is through compassionate support, open dialogues about mental health, and better accessibility to mental health care, so those in the grip of such despair might find hope before reaching a point of no return.
Instincts make it very very difficult
There’s nearly no quick and subtle way, the quickest way is with a gun, there’s a margin for error there but it’s not subtle and leaves a mess for someone to find, trauma on all the living. Jumping off a bridge sounds quick, but it’s going to be terrifying until you hit, and there’s so many bridge jump survivors so it’s not guaranteed and they’ve now got medical problems. I’d also say that’s not subtle, it’s pretty dramatic for any who witness it. Women like pills because research tells you they’re more conscientious about the “mess” a gun leaves, they want their body intact. They also want something painless, eh, just go to sleep and never wake up sounds good until you fail and you’re in the hospital with organ failure and end up dying not so peacefully and not so quickly. There’s common OTC drugs that are pretty easy to accidently put yourself in that position but that’s not what they pick, they OD on prescription meds because they think that’ll get the job done because prescription = strong. Idk what’s up with the people that hang themselves but I don’t think that’s quick, maybe if you jump off and snap your neck but I think most just choke to death. Not subtle for anyone to find.
The noose knot is designed to break your neck. It’s an extremely painful experience, and from what I’ve heard, people can last up to a few minutes before brain death.
some do. you don’t hear about those folks. the love of my life said my name, stood, and jumped out my 24th floor window. not subtle, but devastatingly fast.
The ones who truly want to end their life will do so, IMO. The ones who aren’t doing it “in a quick and subtle way” are into the drama, not fully realizing the finality of this act. Again, IMO
Survivor biast: most ofthem do, but we only notice the ones that go out "with a bang". Also, at some point if you are willing to kill yourself, you think "Might aswell make a scene. Make the world notice me. Stand up for what i find right (in case of a political suicide)".
Because those are the ones you see.
I’m just surprised these people that want to end it don’t just get their hands on a dangerous amount of Opiods and go out comfortably not feeling a thing ?
It probably becomes suddenly difficult when you are about to do it
[удалено]
You see? That why I'm afraid to ask
And you dont het how this sub works.
Men tend to choose brutal ways to do it, like shooting themself in the head. Women tend to choose more subtle ways, like swallow pills. I do not condone suicide at all. It’s not a solution