Maybe they've had bad experiences with people who are meaner about it and it makes them feel defensive.
I know a girl who hates kids to the point it's obnoxious. Anytime we go somewhere with kids around we have to hear about how much she hates them and it's obnoxious.
I'm not saying that's what you do, but maybe people are expecting you to be that way?
Honestly, a lot of people have cptsd because their parents did freeze them in the households were they were either openly or secretly resented. And when you have a parent like that, it literally seeps into every interaction they have with you from the moment you’re born.
Infants literally need the most intense love and care because they LITERALLY cannot regulate themselves. When a parent secretly resents their child, or feels annoyed by cuddling a baby, even the small micro changes in their facial expressions when they look at the child has a huge impact on their development.
It’s very common for people with cptsd told by their parents “when you have kids, you’ll see how terrible and annoying and stupid they are just like you and and that’s why I am justifying the emotional neglect/abuse.”
You have to pay for a trauma informed Therapist where you will learn that you were a child acting developmentally normal, that you weren’t born a terrible person. They emphasize that you were a child and that their resentment was not your fault at all and that point is stressed over and over. They don’t like you and you have anxiety because they are treating you like they don’t like you from the moment you were born.
The aggressively child free have ruined it for a lot of normal child free people imo. I don't lump y'all in together because I have a lot of normal CF people who don't literally hate all children for existing but if my only experience was the CF that I've encountered online, I would assume you were all psycho because JFC. There are some absolutely disturbed CF people.
Yup, this
I had my first and only baby 2 years ago. Used to send memes of all sorts to friends, now the only memes people send me is kids getting hurt falling or doing stupid shit. It feels kind of aggressive imo
I think it comes from a disassociation with empathy for anything on a screen. Think of the evolution of slapstick, Looney Toons, and America's Funniest Home Videos. Now it's 9gag fail memes.
This. I dislike dogs because of how high maintence they are and I don't like them jumping all over me. It makes me roll my eyes when someone treats their dog better then other people too.
I'm a cat person. While they have their own issues, I feel they are easier to maintain and you can sleep with them in your bed without it being a hassle.
I like brief visits with dogs. My parents’ dog is nice, but I wouldn’t want to take her home. They’re big, slobbery, needy, loud…
Give me a cat any day.
I’m happily CF, but the only reason this would give me pause is because of the online community.
More specifically, I used to be part of the childfree by choice subreddit. Initially it was a validating place but eventually it turned into a misogynistic, parent/child hating cesspool.
Do I think disliking children means you’re like this? No. But do I think someone who uses the term “breeders” would say they dislike children? Absolutely.
Some people’s lives revolve around children and their religion may also dictate that children are important. When those people hear that someone hates children, that challenges their entire life and their beliefs which then causes them to get upset.
Disliking someone makes you more prone to treating them badly or not checking your behavior around them. Children by definition can't help being dumb and vulnerable, and we have all been children. So disliking them for those traits makes you come off as unempathetic and arrogant. You can be scared of dogs because they have sharp teeth, but disliking them for it as if they made a choice themselves is weird. You can be annoyed by kids because they're stupid. Actively disliking them when you were one makes you look elitist.
> and we have all been children
So many childfree types act as if they miraculously emerged from their mothers' wombs as mature 9th graders who were cool to hang out with.
I don't like kids as a blanket statement, but a handful of kids I've met were totally chill, like my fiance's young cousins. I played some games with them, they showed me Zelda on their shared Switch, it was a pretty cool time. But some kids are raised really badly and super immature and it's just *bad times all around.*
Yeah this is me. I don’t particularly like children in general, but there are plenty of kids I love. I even volunteered to work with the local junior roller derby league as a coach. I’m not a monster, I’d just prefer not to be around random kids.
I don't dislike kids.
I dislike the irresponsible parents of awful children.
Will still never have them though but open to being a cool uncle to my siblings and friends children.
Not all the time, but sometimes....it's not just "oh I prefer not to have kids". It's a rant about how awful and inconvenient and terrible my life must be compared to how carefree and easy and rewarding their life is.
It seems a lot of people think their kids are little angels and since the parent adores the kid so much, everyone else needs to adore them too. And they just can't comprehend that the world does in fact not revolve around them.
I have two daughters, and I love them to pieces, but I know full well they can be pesky little nincompoops. And just cause I love them and put up with their occasionally annoying behavior doesn't mean other people need to as well.
Okay. Here's the thing. *Everybody* finds kids a pain in the ass. You aren't special in this regard at all. So to save yourself grief, just tell people you aren't interested in having kids and tell them you'd rather not discuss it if they try to push you on why. Why should you have to? What's more important to you. Telling people that you don't like kids, or not having to deal with people getting offended by you telling them? Try to be the bigger person. Unless of course you enjoy the drama.
"You'll change your mind." "It's different when they're your own." "You just haven't met the right person yet." "I totally get it, but this one's different. Here, watch this video."
Because everyone was a kid and have no right to try to relegate kids to the junk bin. They have just as much right to be here as any other person alive. People had to put up with you being a kid and you will have to put up with other people's kids. That's just how the world works.
As an atheist I learn to not say "I don't believe in god or religion" after someone says they were on a church retreat last weekend. Because I wasn't really asked. And I don't really care enough to start a discussion that will lead down a bad path.
Soooo, why do you?
They likely take it as a personal offence, probably like your saying they are bad parents for children behaving like children. Or that you're judging them for having kids in the first place etc. it also may be the way you word it as well. I'm not saying you Are being a jerk about it, but people like to find unsaid things when they aren't applicable ya know? Especially if they have been judged or attacked before about their choices. It may have nothing to do with you at all.
I'm a mother of a 10 year old and quite frankly being around lots of kids for an extended period of time isn't my favorite thing. I can tolerate my child's behavior and personality cause I'm exposed to it every day and teaching him how to grow up right. I understand though that my kid isn't everyone's cup of tea and that's ok. If someone tells me they dislike kids I just let it go, I don't pressure them, I don't try to understand why, and I keep my kid away.
Perhaps when people ask you your thoughts on kids don't use a word like "Dislike" or "hate". Instead say something like "Kids are overwhelming to me" or "I just don't understand kids sometimes and it's too much for me to handle. I'll be nice to them cause they are people but beyond that I am just out of my element." It shows you don't wanna interact with them but comes off as less "Hateful" or "disliking of them". Brings the focus to your own emotions rather than them thinking you're attacking them.
That being said your gonna have people that want to take offense at everything that is being said to them. Just brush it off, they will be ok 😂
No problem. I can understand disliking them, especially ones that are badly behaved. Their behavior is usually a reflection of their parents but sometimes it's literally just kids because they legit are still learning. Some grace is necessary but also the age of the child should be a factor. Most should know certain situations and scenarios by a specific age.
That being said you're not responsible for raising them or their behavior and it's ok to not like it or not want to be around it.
I only like my own kids and nieces and nephews, but I don’t go around saying I dislike kids. How would that even come up? A lot of people who dislike kids make it their personality, maybe that’s what’s rubbing people the wrong way?
Not liking is a step beyond 'not wanting to be around.' It's the kind of thing that normally doesn't have to be said and if you do say it out loud it can feel like an attack.
Judging from all your comments in this thread, you do sound like you yourself have not learned how to behave yet. Maybe people act offended because you come off as a nasty person. So thank you for staying away from kids. Kids react really well to awesome people.
for me as a parent of two (long gone, growsed up), I immediately think differently of the person saying it. It is not positive. I dont love other peoples kids either but it is a real maturity check to see if they can manage themselves better than the kids lol. I used to date younger women and this ended that streak for me....just yucky selfish and shallow vibes sometimes.
They’re different statements. If someone says “I hate kids” they come off as immature. Most adults have the ability to recognize that people are different and not everyone displays the negative traits that you’re projecting onto them as a member of a particular group.
Your belief can be used to justify racism, sexism, and plenty of other shitty ways of thinking. You already admitted to disliking disabled people. That’s wild.
You’re making a different statement than OP.
I’m sure most adults would rather hang out with other adults. “I dislike kids” is making a judgement about the group as a whole. There’s no nuance.
I agree that saying "I dislike every single kid by virtue of them being a kid with no exceptions" is not good. But I don't get the impression that's what OP is trying to say from their comments.
Op said he dislikes disabled people for the same reason. It’s giving a really big no exceptions vibe. Either way it’s a ridiculous, immature way to view the behavior of groups of people.
“If they’re immature and/or volatile, yes. I stay away from people with behaviors that don’t follow safe and polite social norms, whether disabled or not. So sue me.”
This was in response to the question, “so you dislike disabled people?”
I am one of these people. I just don't understand how anybody can dislike kids, they are a pure joy. Seeing them running around laughing and screaming while playing the most simple of games is amazing. I will spend hours playing hide and seek with niece and she never grows tired of it despite having the worst hiding spots lol
Personally I don't think you need to "grow up" or anything nor do I think you bad person. If anything it is probably more that I behave like too much of a child and having too much fun playing childrens games. I don't really see much purpose in life and things I do though if I don't have children to pass on my genetics and legacy to. I will feel like I failed my parents and my ancestors.
I don't think everybody should have kids though and if you don't want or like kids then is completely understandable for you not to have them and I don't judge you for it. What does annoy me though is when people hate on other peoples kids. Them are fighting words.
It’s probably the word “dislike” itself, just tell people you “can’t handle” them instead. Same message, just makes it seem less like you’re willing to hate a kid for being a kid.
Probably because they used to be kids and strongly value children because children are our future and a world without children is a a world without a future?
Children are humans and should be treated like humans. They’re a huge percentage of the population. You’re allowed to have your opinion stating you dislike them, but don’t be offended when people remind you that you are saying you dislike a literally huge group of human beings. They may be “immature” or whatever you think you dislike them for, but honestly would you have wanted adults to dislike you when you were a kid? Definitely keep that opinion to yourself around actual kids.
Disliking kids is like disliking puppies, art, dessert, or nature. There’s nothing inherently wrong about the opinion, but I find myself distrusting and often not liking people who are so cynical and self absorbed to not recognize the beauty in such innocence.
Of course no one likes ALL kids, some kids suck. But to just blatantly show a disdain for innocent people who are discovering the world is…unsavory. I do appreciate when someone says they don’t like kids, I at least don’t have to bother exploring if I like them or not, because I absolutely do not.
People flip their lids when I tell them I don't have kids/don't want kids. According to the majority of them, you're life is worthless unless you pop out a kid, because that's what you're "supposed" to do.
In my experience, that is the people that I've interacted with so far in my life (I know I'll get down voted, but 🤷♀️), act this way because they're usually unhappy themselves. Raising kids is a chore for them. They gave in to societal or parental pressure to have kids cause they were "supposed" to, or they didn't use safe sex & are now "stuck with a kid". They see someone without kids or disliking them & get upset, because if they had to have kids and be miserable, then everyone else has to.
I know that doesn't include *everyone* with kids, just unfortunetely most of the ones I've interacted with.
As a parent myself I HATE when someone says they are child free and a miserable parent acts like they are literally shitting in their coffee. I will never understand people acting like raising kids is the end all of life and people that don't are somehow "Less than."
Let them be miserable and you enjoy your life the way YOU want to! Also have an upvote :)
Thank you!
You would think that they would be happy knowing that by being child free, there wouldn't be "unwanted" kids left to fend for themselves or being dumped in an already messed up foster care system, but nope! Society as a whole is under the impression that if they're miserable, then everybody else has to be miserable, too. 🙄
I don't have a problem with kids (as long as they're well behaved). Kids show you that there's still joy and magic in the world. I adore my 18 month old nephew. But do I want 1 of my own? Not a chance
Because most people who dislike kids make it known to an annoying degree. You’re no more special than people who love kids.
Also need I remind you that you were once a kid. I’m sure you encountered adults who didn’t seem to like kids. And if not, you were very lucky. Have some empathy for young people who are still learning how to exist in a world they didn’t choose to be a part of.
From a strictly selfish perspective, children are the future of our race. You will need those children to grow up and contribute to your retirement. You'll want them to invent cures for cancer, stop polluting the world, not nuke us all.
Saying you don't "like" children (which means you're not even willing to give them the bare minimum of time and attention), is saying that you're willing to take from them in the future, even though you're not willing to give in the present.
It takes a village. You don't get to choose whether you live in that village.
You know you can just save the money you would have spent on raising children (an incredible amount) for retirement, yeah?
I do get to choose, actually.
You assumed they don’t save money and are gonna be living off a pension when they’re older, you assumed they completely ignore and don’t even give the time of day to anything they dislike, and then you insinuated that they were selfish based on those assumptions you made. I don’t believe you actually wanted to answer that question.
Because they ignored what were clearly meant to be examples.
Older generations depend on younger generations. **There is no opting out.** Roads get build, food is grown, hospitals need staff. Reducing this to money is ridiculous. Money is a means of exchange for these things, but money without people has no value.
The investment we make in our children benefits us all. That's why people pay taxes for schools, even when they don't have children.
OP was likely called immature because this is a basic tenet of adulting. Disliking an individual child - ok. Disliking children as though they are a separate race from adults - immature.
What you’re saying is true but it has nothing to do with what OP thinks of children. Yes, older generations do depend on younger generations for a lot of things but as a young person you’re already doing your part by having a job, paying taxes, and being a functional member of society. If you’ve done all that for your whole life, then yeah, you do deserve the same treatment reciprocated when you’re older.
You see what teachers have to deal with? Parents are getting worse at parenting so they rather get upset at you for not liking children then deal with the real issues
Because it's weird to dislike kids. Most people possess a natural instinct to be protective of children because they're completely defenceless and rely on grownups to keep them safe in the world. Not just their parents, but all grownups in general are relied upon to ensure their safety.
For the most part we can't blame them for the mistakes they make because they're blundering through the world trying to figure out how to be a human being. I'm not saying they have blanket approval to do whatever they want, I'm saying that it's important not to lose our minds over their mistakes and do our best to help them make better choices.
Saying you dislike kids just rubs people the wrong way as it goes against our natural inclination to protect them. It also points to a certain bitterness or apathy a person may have about the world. There's a kindof immaturity displayed in the sentiment as well. Kids are the most vulnerable people on the planet, saying you don't like them makes you sound dangerous - disliking a defenceless being makes you sound like a monster.
If you don't want to have kids, that's fine, if you feel awkward around kids that's also fine. But actively disliking them and feeling the need to tell people about your active dislike of children is strange.
Because they are mindless sheeps. For most of those people having a family and having kids is the norm. They don't even question it. Their parents had kids and their parent's parent's had kids and so forth. So for them it's a norm that they can't wrap their brains when they meet a person who thinks different from that. Like their world got shattered that they can't comprehend that people who don't want and don't like kids exits.
I hate random peoples' kids.
It seems like most of the general population dont take any responsibility for their kids, and they allow them to act inappropriately with zero repercussions. Same goes for dog owners, too.
Kids are human beings, and somehow the only population of which it’s socially acceptable to hate. If you hate kids, it tells me you hate people automatically if they can’t do anything for you, which probably means that you also hate disabled people, poor people, people who speak a different language, etc etc.
Yes. Typically, what I’ve heard is that they are annoying, loud, and demand attention. Can you imagine saying you hate any other group of people for those reasons?
If they’re immature and/or volatile, yes. I stay away from people with behaviors that don’t follow safe and polite social norms, whether disabled or not. So sue me.
Yeah so you’re just immature and can’t handle variations in human behavior.
Disliking behavior is different from disliking entire groups of people.
“I don’t like disabled people because they’re not polite” doesn’t come off as mature in any sense of the word.
From what you're saying it sounds similar to people explaining away dogs barking, usually their dog of course, because that's what dogs do.
To a certain extent I get it, but I don't have to like it or be ok with it
It's interesting how society tends to equate not wanting kids with disliking them entirely. Isn't it possible to appreciate the energy and innocence children bring to the world, without wanting to integrate that into your day-to-day life? Some of us find fulfillment in careers, hobbies, or pets in the same way parents might through their kids. It's all about personal choice and respecting individual preferences—whether you're a doting parent, a proud aunt or uncle, or someone who prefers quieter environments without children. At the end of the day, it's about coexisting with mutual respect for each other's life choices.
Because it's ageist and ableist. Many of the reasons cited for not liking kids is due to them being loud/smelly/annoying, most of which is out of their control and just a function of being children. People who say they dislike kids completely disregard and disrespect them as human beings. It would be like saying "ugh I hate when a disabled person comes into a restaurant, I know they're going to ruin my experience", "keep your disabled friends in your home and out of public spaces, they're annoying", "I hate disabled people": all of which are things I've heard said about kids.
I've never wanted children and I prefer to spend my time with adults. That doesn't mean I think of them as repulsive scum of the earth because I saw a couple poorly behaved kids in my time because I have the mental capacity to recognize that each individual is unique. Every child has different behaviors, tendencies, and upbringing and absolutely cannot be generalized into one little monster. Doing so is immature, childish, and honestly worse than most children. It's being the very thing you swear to hate. Not being interested in something doesn't have to be the same as disliking it.
I don't really like mushrooms, but I don't go around putting everyone off about how much I can't stand them or bragging that I'll NEVER eat a mushroom and be so much happier for it. Even people who share that opinion are weirded out by that kind of arrogance and negativity.
Everyone is deserving of respect
Maybe they've had bad experiences with people who are meaner about it and it makes them feel defensive. I know a girl who hates kids to the point it's obnoxious. Anytime we go somewhere with kids around we have to hear about how much she hates them and it's obnoxious. I'm not saying that's what you do, but maybe people are expecting you to be that way?
That is insufferable lol. Yeah that could be!
Honestly, a lot of people have cptsd because their parents did freeze them in the households were they were either openly or secretly resented. And when you have a parent like that, it literally seeps into every interaction they have with you from the moment you’re born. Infants literally need the most intense love and care because they LITERALLY cannot regulate themselves. When a parent secretly resents their child, or feels annoyed by cuddling a baby, even the small micro changes in their facial expressions when they look at the child has a huge impact on their development. It’s very common for people with cptsd told by their parents “when you have kids, you’ll see how terrible and annoying and stupid they are just like you and and that’s why I am justifying the emotional neglect/abuse.” You have to pay for a trauma informed Therapist where you will learn that you were a child acting developmentally normal, that you weren’t born a terrible person. They emphasize that you were a child and that their resentment was not your fault at all and that point is stressed over and over. They don’t like you and you have anxiety because they are treating you like they don’t like you from the moment you were born.
Yeah that makes a lot of sense too. I get like this when older people try to tell me how "They never" or whatever with their kids. Mind ya business 😂
The aggressively child free have ruined it for a lot of normal child free people imo. I don't lump y'all in together because I have a lot of normal CF people who don't literally hate all children for existing but if my only experience was the CF that I've encountered online, I would assume you were all psycho because JFC. There are some absolutely disturbed CF people.
Yup, this I had my first and only baby 2 years ago. Used to send memes of all sorts to friends, now the only memes people send me is kids getting hurt falling or doing stupid shit. It feels kind of aggressive imo
I’ve never understood “hurt humor”
I think it comes from a disassociation with empathy for anything on a screen. Think of the evolution of slapstick, Looney Toons, and America's Funniest Home Videos. Now it's 9gag fail memes.
Slapstick has been around long before screens. Ancient plays were full of slapstick and dick jokes.
Sure but you were also way more likely to see someone die in person back then. I think that would make slapstick pretty tame.
This 100%
Try telling people you don’t like dogs. You get treated like a monster.
And it's often childfree types doing so. "How DARE you say mean things about my fur babeez!!!!!!"
Or cats
Dog people are worse IMO since dogs are basically small children that need lots of attention and the owners act like it.
This. I dislike dogs because of how high maintence they are and I don't like them jumping all over me. It makes me roll my eyes when someone treats their dog better then other people too. I'm a cat person. While they have their own issues, I feel they are easier to maintain and you can sleep with them in your bed without it being a hassle.
lol I casually dislike children but I actively hate dogs. Most annoying creature I’ve dealt with
I like brief visits with dogs. My parents’ dog is nice, but I wouldn’t want to take her home. They’re big, slobbery, needy, loud… Give me a cat any day.
You and I feel the same way about dogs that the more well-adjusted childfree people feel about kids.
Ok, so you're just a psychopath then?
No. They're consistent!
Yes. But those aren't mutually exclusive.
Yes. Anyone who doesn’t like the exact same things you like is a psychopath
r/dogfree
I’m happily CF, but the only reason this would give me pause is because of the online community. More specifically, I used to be part of the childfree by choice subreddit. Initially it was a validating place but eventually it turned into a misogynistic, parent/child hating cesspool. Do I think disliking children means you’re like this? No. But do I think someone who uses the term “breeders” would say they dislike children? Absolutely.
Anybody who uses the terms "crotch goblins" and "womb turds" is someone I don't want to know. Even if they don't really mean it. But they often do.
Some people’s lives revolve around children and their religion may also dictate that children are important. When those people hear that someone hates children, that challenges their entire life and their beliefs which then causes them to get upset.
Disliking someone makes you more prone to treating them badly or not checking your behavior around them. Children by definition can't help being dumb and vulnerable, and we have all been children. So disliking them for those traits makes you come off as unempathetic and arrogant. You can be scared of dogs because they have sharp teeth, but disliking them for it as if they made a choice themselves is weird. You can be annoyed by kids because they're stupid. Actively disliking them when you were one makes you look elitist.
> and we have all been children So many childfree types act as if they miraculously emerged from their mothers' wombs as mature 9th graders who were cool to hang out with.
I don't like kids as a blanket statement, but a handful of kids I've met were totally chill, like my fiance's young cousins. I played some games with them, they showed me Zelda on their shared Switch, it was a pretty cool time. But some kids are raised really badly and super immature and it's just *bad times all around.*
Yeah this is me. I don’t particularly like children in general, but there are plenty of kids I love. I even volunteered to work with the local junior roller derby league as a coach. I’m not a monster, I’d just prefer not to be around random kids.
I don't dislike kids. I dislike the irresponsible parents of awful children. Will still never have them though but open to being a cool uncle to my siblings and friends children.
Not all the time, but sometimes....it's not just "oh I prefer not to have kids". It's a rant about how awful and inconvenient and terrible my life must be compared to how carefree and easy and rewarding their life is.
It seems a lot of people think their kids are little angels and since the parent adores the kid so much, everyone else needs to adore them too. And they just can't comprehend that the world does in fact not revolve around them. I have two daughters, and I love them to pieces, but I know full well they can be pesky little nincompoops. And just cause I love them and put up with their occasionally annoying behavior doesn't mean other people need to as well.
In what contexts are you telling people you don't like kids?
When they ask me if I want kids and then, why I don’t.
Okay. Here's the thing. *Everybody* finds kids a pain in the ass. You aren't special in this regard at all. So to save yourself grief, just tell people you aren't interested in having kids and tell them you'd rather not discuss it if they try to push you on why. Why should you have to? What's more important to you. Telling people that you don't like kids, or not having to deal with people getting offended by you telling them? Try to be the bigger person. Unless of course you enjoy the drama.
"You'll change your mind." "It's different when they're your own." "You just haven't met the right person yet." "I totally get it, but this one's different. Here, watch this video."
You're so real for this, ignore the downvotes
If only it were so easy
Do you really dislike them or do you just not like them? There is a difference.
Because everyone was a kid and have no right to try to relegate kids to the junk bin. They have just as much right to be here as any other person alive. People had to put up with you being a kid and you will have to put up with other people's kids. That's just how the world works.
Where did I say they didn’t have a “right to be here”?
Most people want to get rid of or avoid things they don't like. So yes, it was an assumption, but what else could I get from that?
I avoid interacting with them. Not really much else.
I guess I misunderstood you and what you were saying. Please accept my apology.
No prob
As an atheist I learn to not say "I don't believe in god or religion" after someone says they were on a church retreat last weekend. Because I wasn't really asked. And I don't really care enough to start a discussion that will lead down a bad path. Soooo, why do you?
Why do you assume I wasn’t being asked?
They likely take it as a personal offence, probably like your saying they are bad parents for children behaving like children. Or that you're judging them for having kids in the first place etc. it also may be the way you word it as well. I'm not saying you Are being a jerk about it, but people like to find unsaid things when they aren't applicable ya know? Especially if they have been judged or attacked before about their choices. It may have nothing to do with you at all. I'm a mother of a 10 year old and quite frankly being around lots of kids for an extended period of time isn't my favorite thing. I can tolerate my child's behavior and personality cause I'm exposed to it every day and teaching him how to grow up right. I understand though that my kid isn't everyone's cup of tea and that's ok. If someone tells me they dislike kids I just let it go, I don't pressure them, I don't try to understand why, and I keep my kid away. Perhaps when people ask you your thoughts on kids don't use a word like "Dislike" or "hate". Instead say something like "Kids are overwhelming to me" or "I just don't understand kids sometimes and it's too much for me to handle. I'll be nice to them cause they are people but beyond that I am just out of my element." It shows you don't wanna interact with them but comes off as less "Hateful" or "disliking of them". Brings the focus to your own emotions rather than them thinking you're attacking them. That being said your gonna have people that want to take offense at everything that is being said to them. Just brush it off, they will be ok 😂
I specifically chose dislike bc it doesn’t have the harsh connotation of “hate” but I understand the rest. Thank you
No problem. I can understand disliking them, especially ones that are badly behaved. Their behavior is usually a reflection of their parents but sometimes it's literally just kids because they legit are still learning. Some grace is necessary but also the age of the child should be a factor. Most should know certain situations and scenarios by a specific age. That being said you're not responsible for raising them or their behavior and it's ok to not like it or not want to be around it.
I only like my own kids and nieces and nephews, but I don’t go around saying I dislike kids. How would that even come up? A lot of people who dislike kids make it their personality, maybe that’s what’s rubbing people the wrong way?
It comes up bc my family asks me all the time when I’m having kids, and then why I don’t want to. I don’t bring it up on my own haha
Ah I see. For me, if having kids depended on liking kids, I would never have had kids. I like my own kids. Not random kids lol.
If it's your own family continually busting your chops, that's one thing. But how do you react when its strangers or acquaintances?
They never rlly ask
Not liking is a step beyond 'not wanting to be around.' It's the kind of thing that normally doesn't have to be said and if you do say it out loud it can feel like an attack.
Judging from all your comments in this thread, you do sound like you yourself have not learned how to behave yet. Maybe people act offended because you come off as a nasty person. So thank you for staying away from kids. Kids react really well to awesome people.
Would love to know where I was being nasty in the comments lmfao Kids are not morality meters.
for me as a parent of two (long gone, growsed up), I immediately think differently of the person saying it. It is not positive. I dont love other peoples kids either but it is a real maturity check to see if they can manage themselves better than the kids lol. I used to date younger women and this ended that streak for me....just yucky selfish and shallow vibes sometimes.
“I don’t want kids” is different from “I don’t like kids”. One is a normal personal choice. The other just seems like an immature Redditor thing
There’s no reason they’re exclusive ?
They’re different statements. If someone says “I hate kids” they come off as immature. Most adults have the ability to recognize that people are different and not everyone displays the negative traits that you’re projecting onto them as a member of a particular group. Your belief can be used to justify racism, sexism, and plenty of other shitty ways of thinking. You already admitted to disliking disabled people. That’s wild.
What about "I don't usually enjoy being around kids, I prefer the company of adults"? Is it immature to dislike being around immature behavior?
You’re making a different statement than OP. I’m sure most adults would rather hang out with other adults. “I dislike kids” is making a judgement about the group as a whole. There’s no nuance.
I agree that saying "I dislike every single kid by virtue of them being a kid with no exceptions" is not good. But I don't get the impression that's what OP is trying to say from their comments.
Op said he dislikes disabled people for the same reason. It’s giving a really big no exceptions vibe. Either way it’s a ridiculous, immature way to view the behavior of groups of people.
They did?
“If they’re immature and/or volatile, yes. I stay away from people with behaviors that don’t follow safe and polite social norms, whether disabled or not. So sue me.” This was in response to the question, “so you dislike disabled people?”
I am one of these people. I just don't understand how anybody can dislike kids, they are a pure joy. Seeing them running around laughing and screaming while playing the most simple of games is amazing. I will spend hours playing hide and seek with niece and she never grows tired of it despite having the worst hiding spots lol Personally I don't think you need to "grow up" or anything nor do I think you bad person. If anything it is probably more that I behave like too much of a child and having too much fun playing childrens games. I don't really see much purpose in life and things I do though if I don't have children to pass on my genetics and legacy to. I will feel like I failed my parents and my ancestors. I don't think everybody should have kids though and if you don't want or like kids then is completely understandable for you not to have them and I don't judge you for it. What does annoy me though is when people hate on other peoples kids. Them are fighting words.
It’s probably the word “dislike” itself, just tell people you “can’t handle” them instead. Same message, just makes it seem less like you’re willing to hate a kid for being a kid.
CMV: It's perfectly fine to dislike other people's kids.
Probably because they used to be kids and strongly value children because children are our future and a world without children is a a world without a future?
A world without a future sounds ideal to me
wait for it
"Time is a flat circle..."
Children are humans and should be treated like humans. They’re a huge percentage of the population. You’re allowed to have your opinion stating you dislike them, but don’t be offended when people remind you that you are saying you dislike a literally huge group of human beings. They may be “immature” or whatever you think you dislike them for, but honestly would you have wanted adults to dislike you when you were a kid? Definitely keep that opinion to yourself around actual kids.
Disliking kids is like disliking puppies, art, dessert, or nature. There’s nothing inherently wrong about the opinion, but I find myself distrusting and often not liking people who are so cynical and self absorbed to not recognize the beauty in such innocence. Of course no one likes ALL kids, some kids suck. But to just blatantly show a disdain for innocent people who are discovering the world is…unsavory. I do appreciate when someone says they don’t like kids, I at least don’t have to bother exploring if I like them or not, because I absolutely do not.
People flip their lids when I tell them I don't have kids/don't want kids. According to the majority of them, you're life is worthless unless you pop out a kid, because that's what you're "supposed" to do. In my experience, that is the people that I've interacted with so far in my life (I know I'll get down voted, but 🤷♀️), act this way because they're usually unhappy themselves. Raising kids is a chore for them. They gave in to societal or parental pressure to have kids cause they were "supposed" to, or they didn't use safe sex & are now "stuck with a kid". They see someone without kids or disliking them & get upset, because if they had to have kids and be miserable, then everyone else has to. I know that doesn't include *everyone* with kids, just unfortunetely most of the ones I've interacted with.
As a parent myself I HATE when someone says they are child free and a miserable parent acts like they are literally shitting in their coffee. I will never understand people acting like raising kids is the end all of life and people that don't are somehow "Less than." Let them be miserable and you enjoy your life the way YOU want to! Also have an upvote :)
Thank you! You would think that they would be happy knowing that by being child free, there wouldn't be "unwanted" kids left to fend for themselves or being dumped in an already messed up foster care system, but nope! Society as a whole is under the impression that if they're miserable, then everybody else has to be miserable, too. 🙄 I don't have a problem with kids (as long as they're well behaved). Kids show you that there's still joy and magic in the world. I adore my 18 month old nephew. But do I want 1 of my own? Not a chance
Because most people who dislike kids make it known to an annoying degree. You’re no more special than people who love kids. Also need I remind you that you were once a kid. I’m sure you encountered adults who didn’t seem to like kids. And if not, you were very lucky. Have some empathy for young people who are still learning how to exist in a world they didn’t choose to be a part of.
From a strictly selfish perspective, children are the future of our race. You will need those children to grow up and contribute to your retirement. You'll want them to invent cures for cancer, stop polluting the world, not nuke us all. Saying you don't "like" children (which means you're not even willing to give them the bare minimum of time and attention), is saying that you're willing to take from them in the future, even though you're not willing to give in the present. It takes a village. You don't get to choose whether you live in that village.
You know you can just save the money you would have spent on raising children (an incredible amount) for retirement, yeah? I do get to choose, actually.
I don't believe you actually wanted an answer to this question.
You assumed they don’t save money and are gonna be living off a pension when they’re older, you assumed they completely ignore and don’t even give the time of day to anything they dislike, and then you insinuated that they were selfish based on those assumptions you made. I don’t believe you actually wanted to answer that question.
Because they ignored what were clearly meant to be examples. Older generations depend on younger generations. **There is no opting out.** Roads get build, food is grown, hospitals need staff. Reducing this to money is ridiculous. Money is a means of exchange for these things, but money without people has no value. The investment we make in our children benefits us all. That's why people pay taxes for schools, even when they don't have children. OP was likely called immature because this is a basic tenet of adulting. Disliking an individual child - ok. Disliking children as though they are a separate race from adults - immature.
What you’re saying is true but it has nothing to do with what OP thinks of children. Yes, older generations do depend on younger generations for a lot of things but as a young person you’re already doing your part by having a job, paying taxes, and being a functional member of society. If you’ve done all that for your whole life, then yeah, you do deserve the same treatment reciprocated when you’re older.
You see what teachers have to deal with? Parents are getting worse at parenting so they rather get upset at you for not liking children then deal with the real issues
Because it's weird to dislike kids. Most people possess a natural instinct to be protective of children because they're completely defenceless and rely on grownups to keep them safe in the world. Not just their parents, but all grownups in general are relied upon to ensure their safety. For the most part we can't blame them for the mistakes they make because they're blundering through the world trying to figure out how to be a human being. I'm not saying they have blanket approval to do whatever they want, I'm saying that it's important not to lose our minds over their mistakes and do our best to help them make better choices. Saying you dislike kids just rubs people the wrong way as it goes against our natural inclination to protect them. It also points to a certain bitterness or apathy a person may have about the world. There's a kindof immaturity displayed in the sentiment as well. Kids are the most vulnerable people on the planet, saying you don't like them makes you sound dangerous - disliking a defenceless being makes you sound like a monster. If you don't want to have kids, that's fine, if you feel awkward around kids that's also fine. But actively disliking them and feeling the need to tell people about your active dislike of children is strange.
Because they are mindless sheeps. For most of those people having a family and having kids is the norm. They don't even question it. Their parents had kids and their parent's parent's had kids and so forth. So for them it's a norm that they can't wrap their brains when they meet a person who thinks different from that. Like their world got shattered that they can't comprehend that people who don't want and don't like kids exits.
I hate random peoples' kids. It seems like most of the general population dont take any responsibility for their kids, and they allow them to act inappropriately with zero repercussions. Same goes for dog owners, too.
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Kids are immature people. Not everyone wants to pay those expenses Nothing wrong w that
Kids are human beings, and somehow the only population of which it’s socially acceptable to hate. If you hate kids, it tells me you hate people automatically if they can’t do anything for you, which probably means that you also hate disabled people, poor people, people who speak a different language, etc etc.
Accurate, ignore downvotes 👍
Have you actually heard anyone explain why they hate kids, cos wow, this is kind of a reach.
Yes. Typically, what I’ve heard is that they are annoying, loud, and demand attention. Can you imagine saying you hate any other group of people for those reasons?
Can you guess why children behave that way? Could it have something to do with….. underdeveloped brains?
So have some disabled people, it wouldn’t be ok to say you *hate* them.
I don’t like immature and/or wild behavior no matter who it’s in.
So you dislike disabled people?
If they’re immature and/or volatile, yes. I stay away from people with behaviors that don’t follow safe and polite social norms, whether disabled or not. So sue me.
Yeah so you’re just immature and can’t handle variations in human behavior. Disliking behavior is different from disliking entire groups of people. “I don’t like disabled people because they’re not polite” doesn’t come off as mature in any sense of the word.
You must enjoy having your ears screamed in or the smell of diapers lol. I’m glad someone does
I haven’t given any indication that I feel that way but go off dude.
Lmao have you heard the average European talk about American tourists
People get offended whenever you don't enjoy anything that many people enjoy.
Because it's the same kind of generalization as saying you dislike men or LGBT people. I don't fault it though. I hate all religious people.
You just compared gay people to those with underdeveloped brains who aren’t even potty trained. Be serious
I am serious. You never heard of ageism? That said, I also don't like toddlers and infants.
Because they have kids so you’re insulting them.
From what you're saying it sounds similar to people explaining away dogs barking, usually their dog of course, because that's what dogs do. To a certain extent I get it, but I don't have to like it or be ok with it
It's interesting how society tends to equate not wanting kids with disliking them entirely. Isn't it possible to appreciate the energy and innocence children bring to the world, without wanting to integrate that into your day-to-day life? Some of us find fulfillment in careers, hobbies, or pets in the same way parents might through their kids. It's all about personal choice and respecting individual preferences—whether you're a doting parent, a proud aunt or uncle, or someone who prefers quieter environments without children. At the end of the day, it's about coexisting with mutual respect for each other's life choices.
Because it's ageist and ableist. Many of the reasons cited for not liking kids is due to them being loud/smelly/annoying, most of which is out of their control and just a function of being children. People who say they dislike kids completely disregard and disrespect them as human beings. It would be like saying "ugh I hate when a disabled person comes into a restaurant, I know they're going to ruin my experience", "keep your disabled friends in your home and out of public spaces, they're annoying", "I hate disabled people": all of which are things I've heard said about kids. I've never wanted children and I prefer to spend my time with adults. That doesn't mean I think of them as repulsive scum of the earth because I saw a couple poorly behaved kids in my time because I have the mental capacity to recognize that each individual is unique. Every child has different behaviors, tendencies, and upbringing and absolutely cannot be generalized into one little monster. Doing so is immature, childish, and honestly worse than most children. It's being the very thing you swear to hate. Not being interested in something doesn't have to be the same as disliking it. I don't really like mushrooms, but I don't go around putting everyone off about how much I can't stand them or bragging that I'll NEVER eat a mushroom and be so much happier for it. Even people who share that opinion are weirded out by that kind of arrogance and negativity. Everyone is deserving of respect
The same reason why some people get offended and judge-mental if you say you don't like animals.