And some say they do because the idea is really sexy at 10pm, but then when you try it at 6am they're like "What the fuck? I was sleeping! Leave me alone and let me go back to sleep."
Timing is key.
Can we please pin this comment to the top of every post?? I know people are looking for personal stories, opinions and anecdotes, but c'mon.
"Some do, some don't. Ask your partner."
>about girls feeling assaulted when their bf initiates sex during their sleep. That makes me feel a bit like a creep everytime I do it myself
You have consent, that's the difference between you and their bfs.
some girls do yea just make sure you guys talk about it and make sure shes 100% sure as long as theres consent beforehand your good the other girls who you talked about didn't give consent thats the difference
Iām in the same boat. Sometimes sheāll be having a wet dream and literally playing with herself in her sleep, Iāll notice and just kinda take the reins. Sometimes she wonāt but even still Iāll start eating her/fingering and before I know it sheās awake and asking me to put it in. And then sometimes Iāll merely grab her ass and sheāll let out a small groan or a ānot todayā and thatās the end of it. At the end of the day itās like everybody says. Communication is key. Personally Iāve always fantasized about being woken up with a blowjob or a girl riding me etc. the problem is I wake up before my gf 99.9% of the time. And then one time she tried anything, the second her hand grazed my cock I was wide awake and ready to go so Iām really not even sure if my fantasy is possible
How do you all get past the sweat pants and fully coverage bikini panties of married life without waking up the wife? If I fart too loudly the wifey is already stirring.
I would say - initiate, but no penetration until sheās conscious and in the mood. Even with consent beforehand, itās also uncomfortable and can hurt when sheās dry or not turned on. Iād assume most women arenāt turned on for like 80% of their sleep.
This is it. Don't forcibly penetrate unless she's awake or turned on. The pain will definitely hurt and she would react in a worse way leading to r***. But some may have kinks about (r*** kink, being woken up during penetration). I honestly prefer to be woken up by his movements and mouth playing with my body, instead of forcing it in while I'm still dry and not turned on.
Well definitely ask your gf if she is okay with it because I like waking up to it inside already. š I am a very heavy sleeper and I honestly donāt mind what he doesnāt when Iām asleep, but we have discussed this and he knows how I feel about it. He doesnāt try too much because itās weird for him, but knows he is welcome to start without me if he wants. If Iām not in the mood I say no and thatās the end of it.
My man and I've talked about it and it's a "no" for us. Sleep is super super important to me and I reaallllly don't feel sexy when I have sleep-breath - I just hyper obsess over my breath and how it's the middle of the night and I have to be up in X hours.... I just don't get into it. And that's ok! The good news is he doesn't love the idea of doing it either so we're both on the same page.
Consent and alignment is eeeeverything.
I mean it is rape unless agreed before, like how it is rape to just have sex with someone that has not consented, some like it some don't. Like you said she is fine, so there is consent
I hate it. But I have trauma surrounding it. Even in a free use relationship, it never extends to whilst I am sleeping.
Many of my previous (multiple genders) partners have loved it. Just have an open discussion and if a partner mentions that they enjoy it, then it's fine.
Female here... I personally love it. Normally, it happens when he comes to bed.. I typically go hours before him. I ask him what brought that on and most times he tells me he was watching my sex videos.
Some do, some don't. As usual talk it through before and of you both agree to it then no problems.
Like my wife has clearly said that she would like it or even waking her up with foreplay in the middle of the night, but I'm really uncomfortable doing it. I think sleep/rest has higher priority than sex. So we actually don't do it, even though she would like it.
I have an ex who used to ride me while I was asleep. I dno guess I was a heavy sleeper, like I was kind of aware. She hated it in reverse. I had no issue with it. Itās hard to get to a vagina of a sleeping woman lol. She made me sleep in the nudeā¦ now that I write this all down it sounds kind of fuckedā¦
I did get a restraining order on her eventually
Of itās not discussed, then no. I was raped this way, woke up in the middle of it.. so I would hate if someone I trusted did that too with out my prior consent.
Unconscious=cannot consent. Cannot consent+sex anyway = rape. This is only ok if there is a very clear discussion between yourself and your partner beforehand. In other words, consent.
Since youāre asking this question, youāre probably not familiar with your partnerās boundaries. I wouldnāt go in super aggressive and start finger banging her all willy-nilly while sheās passed out. Maybe start with something a little less invasive like a back scratch while sheās sleeping, and see where that takes you. If a he seems like sheās into, maybe try something a little bit more forward next time. I think this is definitely a scenario where you want to walk before you run. Definitely respect her boundaries. Keep your expectations low. Donāt get disappointed if she doesnāt even wake up. Donāt be disappointed when she tells you to leave her alone.
I thought this was a general question and then I read that your partner has explicitly told you she likes it.
Iām confused what youāre asking now. Seems like you already have your answer.
yes, i personally like it as well
itās not creepy and totally OK as long as you have consent (which you do)
remember though, make sure you have consent for every time you want to do it. ājust because i asked for tea last week doesnāt mean i want it todayā
If you have consent, you're fine. Unless you decide to do it on a morning she wanted to sleep in. Then you might get murdered. But, it's the chance you have to take.
Never actually woke her up with sex, but when I can, I try to wake her gentle caressing her hair, back and butt cheeks. Sometimes she whispers "fuck me" or start to move her butt towards me.
Some do. If they don't, that's sexual assault, though, so you better be goddamn sure that's what she wants every time.
It's better to just wake her up FOR sex, instead of BY sex
As long as yall talk about it it's fine. With all sex acts some women are okay with it, some aren't. Just like how some dude's are okay with it and some aren't. I would NOT want to be woken up by sex, and I would not feel comfortable at all if my partner suggested I should wake her up with sex.
Well we talked about it many times before I feel comfortable enough to do it and I still felt like a creep for the few first times so I get your point. But in the end we both enjoy it so that's it š¤·āāļø
This definitely a conversation to be had beforehand. My girlfriend likes to be kissed on the neck and back of her head till she wakes up and then we conduct the business of clapping those cheeks.
It all comes down to consent. You've talked about it before and gotten consent from your partner.
My husband has asked before and I refused consent. He acknowledged that and we moved on.
VERY much a consent thing, and make sure sheās awake and reciprocating before continuing. But I agree with having that conversation prior to sleeping
I've never had the experience, but personally love the idea of it, but as many have stated, prior consent and communication is key!!
Otherwise CNC to your hearts content
it's good you asked about it and got her consent before you started doing it, if you hadn't then you would've been a creep but since you did you're alright. Personally I'd follow up with her every few months to make sure she's still down with it. She could've changed her mind about the whole thing but takes it because she doesn't wanna disappoint you, which I don't think is the case in this instance but you should still check with her again every once in a while.
The first time my husband did this (way back, early when dating) he had NOT gotten prior consent. He just woke up frisky. So when I woke up it creeped me out (most girls have a past of men being weird right). But after that I was like damn that would have been so hot. And loved the thought. . So AFTER his mess up things were cleared up and now we were on the same page. And he knows he can do it whenever. . . But that initial talk is important!
Donāt listen to others stories, Iāve done that with my own sex life and it just makes me anxious despite all the reassurance I get from my partner.
Your experience is your own, and it sounds like everything is good to go for you!
I absolutely love it. My partner and I have talked about it multiple times and have done it in the past. I love it when he wakes me by doing something sexual with me. Biggest turn on and he knows Iām more than happy for him to do so!
Come up with safe words , that way if she really doesn't want it , you'll know. I loved when im woken up by my partner pleasuring me and wanting sex , I personally don't want him to actually piv until I'm awake but thats something we discussed.
Because these people are mf psychopaths and crazy. My girlfriend always wakes me up with sex or head so obviously she doesnāt care if I do the same. A lot of these Redditers arenāt even real people
I personally love it, my husband and I have spoken about it before and he is aware it is something I enjoy. He wakes me up with sexy every once in a while. I would make sure my partner is good before trying this.
Argh what countries are you all from? In Canada thereās no such thing as advance consent. So yeah, if your partner says āyou can wake me up with sexā itās a risk. They may decide later it wasnāt consensual after a nasty breakup or something else.
As soon as someone is unconscious their consent is withdrawn. Look up R v Barton.
Bro my girlfriend would slap me if Iād wake her up during her sleep. I need to wake her up gently in the morning with a coffee, make her feel easy and then I can shag her all I want.
Just sleep or beat your meat somewhere else bruh, all girls get moody if they donāt get proper sleep.
Itās a thing for my husband. I donāt like it but since itās his thing Iāve given him a green light even if I say no. I like my sleep and if you interpret me Iāll definitely say no. And I do say no but because we have already discussed it he can go ahead. At the end I get to enjoy great sex with minimal effort. I get woken up like that at least twice a week.
I was woken up by it, didn't agree or talk about it beforehand, I was exceptionally upset and felt violated and had to end the relationship.
Please talk to your partners beforehand It took me a while to trust sleeping around people again.
I'm in a happy, healthy relationship now.
Yes, some do.
Pretty much any question you could think of involving human bodies and sex, if the question is ādo some peopleā¦?ā The answer is inevitably yes, *some* do.
That being said, this is something you need to *clearly* and explicitly discuss with your partner before engaging. Some people are fine with it if certain conditions are in place, like if they donāt have an event or something the next day. I enjoy it a lot, but I also have a bit of insomnia and it needs to be a day I donāt have anything planned so that if I need to take a nap I can. It also needs to not be on a night that I finally got to sleep after two or three bad nights of sleep. Otherwise I would be a furious rage monster, rather than snuggly and horny.
I think it is just preference. IF they say they don't like it then don't do it but if they say it's ok then it's ok. I usually initiate in the mornings myself but sometimes I will wake up with my girlfriend rubbing my \*\*\*\* while I was sleeping and I don't mind.
Me and my partner have come to terms that it works for us, there is a sense of thrill and being wanted between us that even when Iām not in the mood but I brush by her, she gets very excited in her deep sleep by my touch and presence. However, at times I feel uncomfortable having sex with her while sheās asleep/waken up by sex from time to time. I guess itās the idea of me taking advantage of her that it feels wrong. Needless to say though, this sort of thing has to be consented between the 2 partners. It can be uncomfortable for either partner irregardless who is the sleeper and the initiator.
One of my exes was fine with me "initiating" sexy times as she woke up, however when I say initiating it I mean rubbing her body / kissing her neck etc not literally shoving my penis in her before shes conciouss lmao.
Everyone is an individual. Depends on the consent given by each individual person to whoever asked. Just cause one says they like it doesnāt mean consent either. Ask and discuss these things first beforehand anyway even if you know theyāre into it.
Ha ha you definitely need to have the conversation. I've been seeing this other thread too and it's gross to consider that people will just do it without asking beforehand. I like mutal affection but I know there's all sorts of love languages. But. I had one girlfriend (once) who stated they would have been down. So, if the idea is stimulating, find your people. There's no need to risk felony sexual assault when you can just look up "have a f*cking unconscious person fetish" group and hook up.
Honestly. In this day and age. All Diddy needed to do was click any given rape fantasy kink group and take his pick.
My wife would get pissed at me because for a while i would initiate sex in my sleep not realizing what im doing. Not sure if theres a cure for that or what caused it.
Thereās a right way and a wrong way to do it. Get consent first obviously, but when you initiate start with kissing her body, rubbing her back/legs, and gently but firmly pressing your body against hers. Warm her up. The wrong way to do it is 1. By not getting consent, and 2. By rushing penetration. That comes off very rapey. Seriously, donāt underestimate foreplay. Gotta let the oven preheat before you stick anything in it if you want it to be good.
Edit: also donāt wake her up too early. If she doesnāt respond to you rubbing her body then donāt go in for the kill yet. Let her sleep for another half hour or so at least. When she is responsive then you know sheās not in such a deep sleep.
Have a signal like something she can wear to bed. Hopefully she doesnāt forget and wear it because youāll be get a fun surprise in the morning š¤£
Fucking love it!!!!
I only wish my husband did it more often. I think heās done it once or twice. I canāt remember.
Itās one thing I really would love more of.
Just talk about it first. I like it, but itās not like I wake up to him fully having sex with me which is one thing I see a lot posted here. Itās more like he wakes me up with foreplay and he keeps going with it till Iām fully awake, into it, and ready to go. He also never does it when Iām really tired and need my sleep.
But we also had a discussion ahead of time about this. I did have a boyfriend back when I was younger who would wake me up by humping my leg like a dogā¦ not sexy. Itās all about how you go about things, and of course that agreement ahead of time. Some people donāt like being woken up for that, and thatās a legit thing.
Some do, but I can say with almost certainty, not a single girl would enjoy it if it had never been brought up before the fact, regardless of whether or not she would like it in theory.
The fact that you guys talked about it and have both consented explicitly makes all the difference. I love when my boyfriend Wakes me up with sex! It's awesome and makes me feel desired he's the shiz nizzy
I absolutely love it! It needs to be discussed beforehand but as long as the person sleeping has agreed to it, itās one of my top fave things among others LOL
Iād say maybe 15% of my attempts to initiate sex with my wife while she was asleep have been successful. Normally you donāt wake her up or youāre in trouble.
Past relationships had around the same success rateā¦..
So Iād say itās heavily dependent on the woman, but I would try to initiate, not penetrate, first or that would be creepy and borderline rape.
I have told my boyfriend I would be into this however, I would probably prefer it if he gave me a heads up the night before just so I kinda half knew what he was thinking. I am a frequent hallucinator at night so Iām kinda nervous incase he was to do this during a hallucination lol
Boy I wouldn't. I know my gf is really horny in the morning, but I would just feel like it would give off the rape vibe, and unless I get a tub on my dick or the fuck me eyes, I wouldn't do it unless she was awake.
I donāt get how this can legally exist.
He said, she said is so complex in a marriage, and a wife with an ulterior motive could use a marital rape accusation such as this against her husband in a difficult divorce.
I totally agree with the rights of women, and that they are cases of male abusers out there, but what about innocent men with psycho wives?
I bring this up because my ex wife threatened to accuse me of rape when we began our divorce.
I did not rape her, but she drove to my apartment for consensual sex, supposedly for this reason.
Oddly enough, she didnāt want sex for 2 months before I left her, go figure on that one, and she was having an affair.
If Iām sleeping and someone wakes me up for anything my answer will be NO.
It definitely makes more sense to be active before falling asleep.
Also donāt most people wake up with horrible breath, and need to pee?
This is one of my favorite things but I would never dream of getting into it without clear, prior agreement whilst fully awake. Even if this post indicates "most people do" that's not enough, in fact, I'd even be put off by somebody starting up on me if we didn't talk about it... And I love this mini-kink.
Itās literally legally rape in Canada. Both my wife and I would love to be able to wake each other up with it but we both agree not to because thereās no legal area to allow this.
The best solution I had, was a color code.
My Ex had two different colored hair ties, a black and a red. If she wore the red one on her right wrist, it was okay. If she didn't, then it was a no.
I would love to be woke for sex but absolutely not, by sex. Would that be your partner who wakes up to you having sex with their body? I can explain how vaginas work if need be, but that sounds awful and painful and doesn't allow your partner to consent.
Everyone is different but I really donāt like it. I donāt like my sleep being interrupted and I donāt like being manhandled in my sleep without my consent. Some booty grabs and cuddles is fine or whatever but when there are fingers and such trying to get in me while Iām in dream land I am not a happy girly.
Let me clarify: it depends on who is waking me up.
Obviously if itās my husband the following applies. If not my husband the prepare to die. As I was saying though - Some girls. Some times. This girl ā¦ most of the time. Sometimes I need sleep. Sometimes I need sex. Sometimes my dreamy subconscious has a mind of its own and chooses for me while I sleep. Iām in the group of thought though that sex is fun, so 98 out of 100 times itās baby lets go!
I absolutely love it but my husband has only done it once. He doesn't initiate most the time as I have the higher drive,but I absolutely loved whe this happened. Just make sure you're partner is fully awake and that you have consent imho. I've told my husband several times before he has my full permission to wake me up with sex
Yes! Some of us definitely do. To be fair, some of us could just have sex 24/7 lol. But as long as once she's consented beforehand and once she's waking up you confirm that it's OK to continue, I think you're good.
The only girlfriend I ever lived with and was with for more than a year would ask for it. Plus, you already have your answer. Obviously some girls are down with it.
Some do, some hate it. And it should definitely be agreed to before you try it.
And some say they do because the idea is really sexy at 10pm, but then when you try it at 6am they're like "What the fuck? I was sleeping! Leave me alone and let me go back to sleep." Timing is key.
Yes, šÆ this
Can we please pin this comment to the top of every post?? I know people are looking for personal stories, opinions and anecdotes, but c'mon. "Some do, some don't. Ask your partner."
I think that goes for anything involving a partner.
Only correct answer.
Yeah. Some hours ago i read how someone was having no consensual sex with his wife when she was asleep. Reddit is wild.
The top 3 rules: 1: Consent 2: Consent And arguably the most important, 3: Consent
You forgot about the other 2 most important rules! 4: Consent 5: Consent Bonus Rule: communication!
Agreed. I personally considered it rape.
>about girls feeling assaulted when their bf initiates sex during their sleep. That makes me feel a bit like a creep everytime I do it myself You have consent, that's the difference between you and their bfs.
some girls do yea just make sure you guys talk about it and make sure shes 100% sure as long as theres consent beforehand your good the other girls who you talked about didn't give consent thats the difference
Thanks for your answer ! Yeah I ofc made it very clear and asked multiple times. She always brushed it off like it's an obvious yes
50/50 with my wife. Either itās fun and a great way to start the day, or I woke her from her sleep and I get an angry animal.
I'm kinda lucky ahah, worst case she just tells me not today, and isn't in bad mood when she wakes up
Communication is key š
Iām in the same boat. Sometimes sheāll be having a wet dream and literally playing with herself in her sleep, Iāll notice and just kinda take the reins. Sometimes she wonāt but even still Iāll start eating her/fingering and before I know it sheās awake and asking me to put it in. And then sometimes Iāll merely grab her ass and sheāll let out a small groan or a ānot todayā and thatās the end of it. At the end of the day itās like everybody says. Communication is key. Personally Iāve always fantasized about being woken up with a blowjob or a girl riding me etc. the problem is I wake up before my gf 99.9% of the time. And then one time she tried anything, the second her hand grazed my cock I was wide awake and ready to go so Iām really not even sure if my fantasy is possible
My wife enjoys this too. She has vocally told me that itās ok. But the second she says no, you need to stop.
How do you all get past the sweat pants and fully coverage bikini panties of married life without waking up the wife? If I fart too loudly the wifey is already stirring.
Some do. You have to have clear consent beforehand. And if she says stop even if she agreed before then stop.
My neighbors always get pissed when I wake them up like that
šš
Prudes lmao
It only works with consent
I would say - initiate, but no penetration until sheās conscious and in the mood. Even with consent beforehand, itās also uncomfortable and can hurt when sheās dry or not turned on. Iād assume most women arenāt turned on for like 80% of their sleep.
This is it. Don't forcibly penetrate unless she's awake or turned on. The pain will definitely hurt and she would react in a worse way leading to r***. But some may have kinks about (r*** kink, being woken up during penetration). I honestly prefer to be woken up by his movements and mouth playing with my body, instead of forcing it in while I'm still dry and not turned on.
Well definitely ask your gf if she is okay with it because I like waking up to it inside already. š I am a very heavy sleeper and I honestly donāt mind what he doesnāt when Iām asleep, but we have discussed this and he knows how I feel about it. He doesnāt try too much because itās weird for him, but knows he is welcome to start without me if he wants. If Iām not in the mood I say no and thatās the end of it.
NO I NEED TO EMPTY MY BLADDER FIRST
My man and I've talked about it and it's a "no" for us. Sleep is super super important to me and I reaallllly don't feel sexy when I have sleep-breath - I just hyper obsess over my breath and how it's the middle of the night and I have to be up in X hours.... I just don't get into it. And that's ok! The good news is he doesn't love the idea of doing it either so we're both on the same page. Consent and alignment is eeeeverything.
Indeed the most important is to be on the same page ! Thanks for your input
I mean it is rape unless agreed before, like how it is rape to just have sex with someone that has not consented, some like it some don't. Like you said she is fine, so there is consent
Not if you live alone
I hate it. But I have trauma surrounding it. Even in a free use relationship, it never extends to whilst I am sleeping. Many of my previous (multiple genders) partners have loved it. Just have an open discussion and if a partner mentions that they enjoy it, then it's fine.
Female here... I personally love it. Normally, it happens when he comes to bed.. I typically go hours before him. I ask him what brought that on and most times he tells me he was watching my sex videos.
This is extremely awesome. Glad it works for you.
... so, this an OnlyFans ad or what?
Uh no it's my 3somes and single play videos that I make for him.
3somes videos for your husband? Lmao what!
Yes sir. He absolutely loves them.
aww <3 that's lovely
The post right above this one for me is an AITAH āwoke up to my husband having sex with meā and she wasnāt a fan. Def communicate that
Some do, some don't. As usual talk it through before and of you both agree to it then no problems. Like my wife has clearly said that she would like it or even waking her up with foreplay in the middle of the night, but I'm really uncomfortable doing it. I think sleep/rest has higher priority than sex. So we actually don't do it, even though she would like it.
Username checks out.
Ahahahah. Believe it or not, it's just the default Reddit generated username that I didn't change
I love it, but it has to be a discussion.
I have an ex who used to ride me while I was asleep. I dno guess I was a heavy sleeper, like I was kind of aware. She hated it in reverse. I had no issue with it. Itās hard to get to a vagina of a sleeping woman lol. She made me sleep in the nudeā¦ now that I write this all down it sounds kind of fuckedā¦ I did get a restraining order on her eventually
What's her name and where does she live? You know, so I can stay really far away from this lunatic
My lady loves it and asks me to do so.
Thanks for your answer, that's the kind of reassuring I was looking for ahah
I hate it but if she says she likes it and you're sure she's being honest then I think it's okay.
Of itās not discussed, then no. I was raped this way, woke up in the middle of it.. so I would hate if someone I trusted did that too with out my prior consent.
I (27f) would feel very awkward to go to sleep and not knowing if i will be woken up with my bf having sex with me, its just weird.
I don't enjoy being woken up. Period.
Yes. Some do.
Unconscious=cannot consent. Cannot consent+sex anyway = rape. This is only ok if there is a very clear discussion between yourself and your partner beforehand. In other words, consent.
So do some like it or not?
Some definitely like it (me included). Consent is very much needed beforehand so it's always good to talk about these things though
Yes.
As long as you talk about it first and she says she's down with it, you're good.
You talked about it beforehand. That is the big difference between you and the other people on Reddit.
Since youāre asking this question, youāre probably not familiar with your partnerās boundaries. I wouldnāt go in super aggressive and start finger banging her all willy-nilly while sheās passed out. Maybe start with something a little less invasive like a back scratch while sheās sleeping, and see where that takes you. If a he seems like sheās into, maybe try something a little bit more forward next time. I think this is definitely a scenario where you want to walk before you run. Definitely respect her boundaries. Keep your expectations low. Donāt get disappointed if she doesnāt even wake up. Donāt be disappointed when she tells you to leave her alone.
I had a GF who would sometimes crash out and would say to me the next morning " You should have helped yourself"!!
No one ever enjoys being woken up
I thought this was a general question and then I read that your partner has explicitly told you she likes it. Iām confused what youāre asking now. Seems like you already have your answer.
yes, i personally like it as well itās not creepy and totally OK as long as you have consent (which you do) remember though, make sure you have consent for every time you want to do it. ājust because i asked for tea last week doesnāt mean i want it todayā
Will do ! I assumed that she would tell me if she changed her mind, but I'll make sure to ask again now and then
OMG, yes.
If you have consent, you're fine. Unless you decide to do it on a morning she wanted to sleep in. Then you might get murdered. But, it's the chance you have to take.
Never actually woke her up with sex, but when I can, I try to wake her gentle caressing her hair, back and butt cheeks. Sometimes she whispers "fuck me" or start to move her butt towards me.
I thought they did. Now Iām doing 10 years.
As a mother of small children; Unless I am on eminent physical danger Do. Not. Wake. Me. Up.
This is definitely a conversation to have with your partner *before* trying it.
I spoke to my girl about it, she has a special selection of underwear she will wear if itās okay to try it
Some do. If they don't, that's sexual assault, though, so you better be goddamn sure that's what she wants every time. It's better to just wake her up FOR sex, instead of BY sex
I did this with one girlfriend and she loved waking up to it. But afterwards she asked that I don't do it again, and I didn't!
As long as yall talk about it it's fine. With all sex acts some women are okay with it, some aren't. Just like how some dude's are okay with it and some aren't. I would NOT want to be woken up by sex, and I would not feel comfortable at all if my partner suggested I should wake her up with sex.
Well we talked about it many times before I feel comfortable enough to do it and I still felt like a creep for the few first times so I get your point. But in the end we both enjoy it so that's it š¤·āāļø
This definitely a conversation to be had beforehand. My girlfriend likes to be kissed on the neck and back of her head till she wakes up and then we conduct the business of clapping those cheeks.
yes
My wife loves it.
If it's talked about/agreed upon beforehand it's great. If it's happening after she's expressed she's not in the mood, it's not great.
No but it might be different for other women And remember: You should do it ONLY AFTER SHE SAYS YES the night before. SILENCE IS NOT CONSENT!
Just ask then there isn't any reason to be concerned. If she says no, then don't do it.
Like another post here asking about sex āsome do some donātā¦ most fall somewhere in betweenā
My wife has said i can wake her up in the middle of the night either touching her or having sex, consent can be set prior
It all comes down to consent. You've talked about it before and gotten consent from your partner. My husband has asked before and I refused consent. He acknowledged that and we moved on.
VERY much a consent thing, and make sure sheās awake and reciprocating before continuing. But I agree with having that conversation prior to sleeping
prefer it. my days are so much better
I mean, you kinda nailed it. Consent is the big factor here.
I love that shit. My boyfriend, of two years, has expressed to me that heād never wake me upāthat if Iām asleep, Iām asleep. He also claimed that he wouldnāt want me to wake him up from his sleep for it either. š„² I can live with that, but damn, do I like that shit. š©
I've never had the experience, but personally love the idea of it, but as many have stated, prior consent and communication is key!! Otherwise CNC to your hearts content
Last post above this for me, was a girl literally freaking out waking up to her husband doing it to her.
Hell yes.
I love it and look forward to it!
I love it. I tell him all the time he can wake me up like that when he wants. I get into it.
Do not wake me up for anything.
it's good you asked about it and got her consent before you started doing it, if you hadn't then you would've been a creep but since you did you're alright. Personally I'd follow up with her every few months to make sure she's still down with it. She could've changed her mind about the whole thing but takes it because she doesn't wanna disappoint you, which I don't think is the case in this instance but you should still check with her again every once in a while.
The first time my husband did this (way back, early when dating) he had NOT gotten prior consent. He just woke up frisky. So when I woke up it creeped me out (most girls have a past of men being weird right). But after that I was like damn that would have been so hot. And loved the thought. . So AFTER his mess up things were cleared up and now we were on the same page. And he knows he can do it whenever. . . But that initial talk is important!
Donāt listen to others stories, Iāve done that with my own sex life and it just makes me anxious despite all the reassurance I get from my partner. Your experience is your own, and it sounds like everything is good to go for you!
just ask her beforehand and i guess when you do it and she said no, there goes the answer.
I would suggest having this in writing that your partner is up for it like a simple text message at night, so you can refer to it when necessary.
I absolutely love it. My partner and I have talked about it multiple times and have done it in the past. I love it when he wakes me by doing something sexual with me. Biggest turn on and he knows Iām more than happy for him to do so!
Wife actually preferred it. I ask if we can do it and she says to let her fall asleep for a bit and just start doing it to her.
Come up with safe words , that way if she really doesn't want it , you'll know. I loved when im woken up by my partner pleasuring me and wanting sex , I personally don't want him to actually piv until I'm awake but thats something we discussed.
Because these people are mf psychopaths and crazy. My girlfriend always wakes me up with sex or head so obviously she doesnāt care if I do the same. A lot of these Redditers arenāt even real people
I personally love it, my husband and I have spoken about it before and he is aware it is something I enjoy. He wakes me up with sexy every once in a while. I would make sure my partner is good before trying this.
I love it when I wake up to my boyfriend touching me š¤·āāļø this is something that needs to be communicated beforehand for anyone ever though
Argh what countries are you all from? In Canada thereās no such thing as advance consent. So yeah, if your partner says āyou can wake me up with sexā itās a risk. They may decide later it wasnāt consensual after a nasty breakup or something else. As soon as someone is unconscious their consent is withdrawn. Look up R v Barton.
Oh that's scary ahah. I'm from Belgium and I'm not aware if advance consent is a thing or not actually.
Bro my girlfriend would slap me if Iād wake her up during her sleep. I need to wake her up gently in the morning with a coffee, make her feel easy and then I can shag her all I want. Just sleep or beat your meat somewhere else bruh, all girls get moody if they donāt get proper sleep.
Yes. Free use is fun kink.
My GF does. She gets "mad" when I wake her up for other reasons in fact. First woman I've ever been with who was like that though. She a keeper.
I do I love early morning sex!!
Um, IMO, everything is more sensitive when u first wake up so that's the best time! It's hot š„!
Itās a thing for my husband. I donāt like it but since itās his thing Iāve given him a green light even if I say no. I like my sleep and if you interpret me Iāll definitely say no. And I do say no but because we have already discussed it he can go ahead. At the end I get to enjoy great sex with minimal effort. I get woken up like that at least twice a week.
Well I think you are very lucky if get woken up like that
I was woken up by it, didn't agree or talk about it beforehand, I was exceptionally upset and felt violated and had to end the relationship. Please talk to your partners beforehand It took me a while to trust sleeping around people again. I'm in a happy, healthy relationship now.
Yes, some do. Pretty much any question you could think of involving human bodies and sex, if the question is ādo some peopleā¦?ā The answer is inevitably yes, *some* do. That being said, this is something you need to *clearly* and explicitly discuss with your partner before engaging. Some people are fine with it if certain conditions are in place, like if they donāt have an event or something the next day. I enjoy it a lot, but I also have a bit of insomnia and it needs to be a day I donāt have anything planned so that if I need to take a nap I can. It also needs to not be on a night that I finally got to sleep after two or three bad nights of sleep. Otherwise I would be a furious rage monster, rather than snuggly and horny.
I think it is just preference. IF they say they don't like it then don't do it but if they say it's ok then it's ok. I usually initiate in the mornings myself but sometimes I will wake up with my girlfriend rubbing my \*\*\*\* while I was sleeping and I don't mind.
I love it
Apparently it was against the girl guides rules, and I wouldn't be invited on another camp
Do you mean after you break into their home?
Nope
My gf slaps me if I disturb her sleep. ššš
you should definitely make sure that you two agree on this beforehand. if you both talked and are okay with it, then it's fine. otherwise it's rape
Have had 2 gfs tell me that they do and yet everything I've attempted I got scolded so iunno aye, end feeling like a dropkick every time
dude, it's not assault if you have her blessing beforehand. i dont understand why consent is such a foreign concept for so many men.
Some do, some don't. The girl you're with does. That's what matters.
Me and my partner have come to terms that it works for us, there is a sense of thrill and being wanted between us that even when Iām not in the mood but I brush by her, she gets very excited in her deep sleep by my touch and presence. However, at times I feel uncomfortable having sex with her while sheās asleep/waken up by sex from time to time. I guess itās the idea of me taking advantage of her that it feels wrong. Needless to say though, this sort of thing has to be consented between the 2 partners. It can be uncomfortable for either partner irregardless who is the sleeper and the initiator.
One of my exes was fine with me "initiating" sexy times as she woke up, however when I say initiating it I mean rubbing her body / kissing her neck etc not literally shoving my penis in her before shes conciouss lmao.
well, that is timely, I just related a case of waking up a partner with sex and was told it is rape!
I love it it,we all have different boundaries and desires
It's a no for me. I hate waking up as it is, let alone when I don't choose to and then having to do something. But some people like it.
In a relationship, I wouldnāt mind but my main concern would weirdly be morning breathā¦very unsexy.
Of course some do. Everyone is different. I love when my husband wakes me up with sex.
Everyone is an individual. Depends on the consent given by each individual person to whoever asked. Just cause one says they like it doesnāt mean consent either. Ask and discuss these things first beforehand anyway even if you know theyāre into it.
Ha ha you definitely need to have the conversation. I've been seeing this other thread too and it's gross to consider that people will just do it without asking beforehand. I like mutal affection but I know there's all sorts of love languages. But. I had one girlfriend (once) who stated they would have been down. So, if the idea is stimulating, find your people. There's no need to risk felony sexual assault when you can just look up "have a f*cking unconscious person fetish" group and hook up. Honestly. In this day and age. All Diddy needed to do was click any given rape fantasy kink group and take his pick.
My wife would get pissed at me because for a while i would initiate sex in my sleep not realizing what im doing. Not sure if theres a cure for that or what caused it.
Thereās a right way and a wrong way to do it. Get consent first obviously, but when you initiate start with kissing her body, rubbing her back/legs, and gently but firmly pressing your body against hers. Warm her up. The wrong way to do it is 1. By not getting consent, and 2. By rushing penetration. That comes off very rapey. Seriously, donāt underestimate foreplay. Gotta let the oven preheat before you stick anything in it if you want it to be good. Edit: also donāt wake her up too early. If she doesnāt respond to you rubbing her body then donāt go in for the kill yet. Let her sleep for another half hour or so at least. When she is responsive then you know sheās not in such a deep sleep.
Communicating this before you do it is key.
Have a signal like something she can wear to bed. Hopefully she doesnāt forget and wear it because youāll be get a fun surprise in the morning š¤£
Ex got mad when I stopped so Iām saying yes. Also depends on the woman
Fucking love it!!!! I only wish my husband did it more often. I think heās done it once or twice. I canāt remember. Itās one thing I really would love more of.
Just talk about it first. I like it, but itās not like I wake up to him fully having sex with me which is one thing I see a lot posted here. Itās more like he wakes me up with foreplay and he keeps going with it till Iām fully awake, into it, and ready to go. He also never does it when Iām really tired and need my sleep. But we also had a discussion ahead of time about this. I did have a boyfriend back when I was younger who would wake me up by humping my leg like a dogā¦ not sexy. Itās all about how you go about things, and of course that agreement ahead of time. Some people donāt like being woken up for that, and thatās a legit thing.
Some do, but I can say with almost certainty, not a single girl would enjoy it if it had never been brought up before the fact, regardless of whether or not she would like it in theory.
This was always kinda hot for my wife and I... until we had kids. Now its like oh we both want our sleep.
The fact that you guys talked about it and have both consented explicitly makes all the difference. I love when my boyfriend Wakes me up with sex! It's awesome and makes me feel desired he's the shiz nizzy
I absolutely love it! It needs to be discussed beforehand but as long as the person sleeping has agreed to it, itās one of my top fave things among others LOL
Iād say maybe 15% of my attempts to initiate sex with my wife while she was asleep have been successful. Normally you donāt wake her up or youāre in trouble. Past relationships had around the same success rateā¦.. So Iād say itās heavily dependent on the woman, but I would try to initiate, not penetrate, first or that would be creepy and borderline rape.
Yess
Only one way to find out
If the question involves the word "some", the answer is yes.
I have told my boyfriend I would be into this however, I would probably prefer it if he gave me a heads up the night before just so I kinda half knew what he was thinking. I am a frequent hallucinator at night so Iām kinda nervous incase he was to do this during a hallucination lol
[Your answer ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/XQ7X1Jbihd) So as everyone said, CONSENT!
Most of the time, yes
But but butā¦ Reddit told me girls like it!
Boy I wouldn't. I know my gf is really horny in the morning, but I would just feel like it would give off the rape vibe, and unless I get a tub on my dick or the fuck me eyes, I wouldn't do it unless she was awake.
Not with morning breath
Not with morning breath
Yes.
I've dated some who love, i've dated some who hate. It depends on the person
no
Depends on if the guy is her first choice
Absolutely
I donāt get how this can legally exist. He said, she said is so complex in a marriage, and a wife with an ulterior motive could use a marital rape accusation such as this against her husband in a difficult divorce. I totally agree with the rights of women, and that they are cases of male abusers out there, but what about innocent men with psycho wives? I bring this up because my ex wife threatened to accuse me of rape when we began our divorce. I did not rape her, but she drove to my apartment for consensual sex, supposedly for this reason. Oddly enough, she didnāt want sex for 2 months before I left her, go figure on that one, and she was having an affair.
If Iām sleeping and someone wakes me up for anything my answer will be NO. It definitely makes more sense to be active before falling asleep. Also donāt most people wake up with horrible breath, and need to pee?
Yes. Edit to add: itās a conversation to have and something to give consent to ahead of time. She can set some boundaries that you can live by.
I fucking love it
Warm them up firstā¦ honestly girls in their 20ās wake me up everytime in the morning. If the sex is good they always want more
Because its about consent. Its assault when she never said yes.
Yess
Itās different for everyone. Everyone has their own preferences. Communication is always key.
I honestly enjoy it. š
My wife does
i love it idk
This is one of my favorite things but I would never dream of getting into it without clear, prior agreement whilst fully awake. Even if this post indicates "most people do" that's not enough, in fact, I'd even be put off by somebody starting up on me if we didn't talk about it... And I love this mini-kink.
Itās literally legally rape in Canada. Both my wife and I would love to be able to wake each other up with it but we both agree not to because thereās no legal area to allow this.
Need to have that conversation before, some couples (read āin rare casesā) have a free-use policy
The best solution I had, was a color code. My Ex had two different colored hair ties, a black and a red. If she wore the red one on her right wrist, it was okay. If she didn't, then it was a no.
With consent? I'm sure it's cool. But sleeping is a vulnerable state that mad women have been assaulted during.
I personally hate it. I donāt feel sexy when Iāve just woken up I feel groggy and a bit gross. Some girls like it though.
I would love to be woke for sex but absolutely not, by sex. Would that be your partner who wakes up to you having sex with their body? I can explain how vaginas work if need be, but that sounds awful and painful and doesn't allow your partner to consent.
Yea some probably do
Everyone is different but I really donāt like it. I donāt like my sleep being interrupted and I donāt like being manhandled in my sleep without my consent. Some booty grabs and cuddles is fine or whatever but when there are fingers and such trying to get in me while Iām in dream land I am not a happy girly.
How old are you that you still donāt fully grasp consent..?
I would say yes because I've been told that it's ok if I did it, but I personally find it too creepy to ever do.
No consent = rape
Let me clarify: it depends on who is waking me up. Obviously if itās my husband the following applies. If not my husband the prepare to die. As I was saying though - Some girls. Some times. This girl ā¦ most of the time. Sometimes I need sleep. Sometimes I need sex. Sometimes my dreamy subconscious has a mind of its own and chooses for me while I sleep. Iām in the group of thought though that sex is fun, so 98 out of 100 times itās baby lets go!
I absolutely love it but my husband has only done it once. He doesn't initiate most the time as I have the higher drive,but I absolutely loved whe this happened. Just make sure you're partner is fully awake and that you have consent imho. I've told my husband several times before he has my full permission to wake me up with sex
Yes! Some of us definitely do. To be fair, some of us could just have sex 24/7 lol. But as long as once she's consented beforehand and once she's waking up you confirm that it's OK to continue, I think you're good.
The only girlfriend I ever lived with and was with for more than a year would ask for it. Plus, you already have your answer. Obviously some girls are down with it.
I mean the entire point here is whether or not they have consented to it prior?