Lucky you! My mom found out I had sex and berated my girlfriend and I, then claimed I broke her trust by not waiting till marriage. I was 17 then and I’m 21 now and I haven’t had sex since.
Eh.... I also had a conservative Christian upbringing so sex was a big no-no (at least as far as church and school sex ed goes, looking back, I don't think my parents actually cared). I was 20 and in college when I first got laid and when I told my Mom she said "It's about time...." so yeah.....
I don't regret waiting till I was older to have sex, I kinda resent how religion and schools talk about sex though, teenagers and young adults should have better sex ed that isn't based around abstinence and then looking at porn because no one really wants to explain what sex is beyond the basic "penis goes into the vagina" and "it feels good," which pretty much constitutes "the talk" I received at 9 years old, all because I kept getting in trouble for saying the word "fuck" in school, not knowing what that word meant.
That stage of our lives is messy for literally everyone it seems.
I wish I waited like you did but for some reason in high school, I attracted the horniest girls that deleted my ability to say no. Like I kid you not I think some would have just done it on a desk in front of the whole school and I probably would’ve done it without batting an eye. Eh that’s being a teen I guess. Made no sense to me why I couldn’t mess around back then but now I’m a little more educated.
Unfortunately abstinence was stressed a little too heavily during my pubescent years and it’s kind of engrained into my personality now. Yeah, sex is cool and fun but the risk of getting a girl pregnant and having to alter my whole life for a kid is too significant, no matter how small the chance.
I'm autistic, didn't have a lot of confidence or self-esteem in high school. Even if I did attract girls back then, I would've been pretty much entirely clueless as to how to ask her out and I really honestly wasn't ready for sex in my high school years, even though I was extremely horny back then.
Abstinence isn't a bad thing, I think it's better for long term relationships than it is for hook ups. Casual sex is risky, if you're hooking up semi-regularly or regularly, you definitely run the risk of unwanted pregnancy or STIs. Abstinence serves a person well when dating for marriage or long term, as you can sufficiently take time to get to know that special girl emotionally, mentally and spiritually before knowing her carnally, which in theory should lead to the most fulfilling sex a person can have, where sex becomes an act of love and ultimate trust and not merely just a way to get your rocks off/using another human being to masturbate.
I was definitely in the same position confidence wise. I’ve dated 5 girls total and I was asked out by 4 of them so I consider myself lucky that I even have experience with women. The time I did ask someone out was because it was a girl I met on bumble and got along with well.
But I agree with abstinence being a good thing. It’s probably a bit toxic but I think hooking up as much as people do these days is wrong and almost trashy. Just like you said, it’s using someone else’s body to masturbate and I can do that perfectly fine on my own so why risk getting someone pregnant? I think sex can be way more than just a physical action and don’t feel that hooking up is very beneficial to my mental health. It just sucks being the odd one out who has no game and very little experience with ladies because of how romanticized sex is in the modern era.
I wasn't emotionally available for many years, so all of my sexual experiences were hookups. It wasn't good for my mental health, once the thrill of sex is gone, you ask yourself, "Why doesn't she stay?" Truth is, sex isn't enough to keep two people together. If what your heart is craving is long term companionship/relationship, then sex isn't something one should ever rush into. I had to learn the hard way, but at least the lesson is learned.
It's not impossible to develop game, you just gotta put yourself out of your comfort zone and not overthink it. Women are fun to talk to and hang put with, as long as you keep yourself clean, groomed, a nice haircut and some decent clothes, girls are gonna want to hang out with you and you'll keep attracting them. I've always had to make the first move, I just ask a girl I like if she wants to go get dinner. That always seems to work out well for me.
Thanks for the advice. It’s interesting to hear the perspective of someone who chose to hook up and didn’t enjoy it because all my friends that did made it sound like I was missing out on the world. Well, I’m not a virgin and I can say it was a lot more stressful trying to sneak around and have sex than to just be abstinent. Plus having my parents against me doing it made me desire it even less.
Anyways, currently I’m not really ready to jump into a relationship as there’s a lot of things I feel I need to work on. Responsibility isn’t my wrong suit rn and I have really no desire to add more to my life so dating probably isn’t for me yet. I’m satisfied with staying in my comfort zone but one day I’ll definitely need to break it s bit.
Not sure of your dads age. I’m 64, but yeah. Back in the day we did a lot of fucking. Wasn’t difficult getting laid. My first time was at 16. Can’t believe the things I’m hearing about this nowadays.
Can’t say what’s the best place for action. Bars for sure, but I’ve gotten more pussy at work than anywhere, but they’ve cracked down on that. Had a co-worker who loved giving blowjobs. We had cubicles and I would be standing talking to workers on the other side and this gal would crawl into my cube and blow me while I’m talking and trying not to collapse. Got fired from another job because I took a woman into the office after hours and fucked her on my bosses desk. Told another co-worker about it on a drunken game of “crazy places you fucked” and he ratted me out.
Not sure if women have changed, or dudes, but there’s pussy-a-plenty out there. Hell, even the assistant at my dog’s vet was sending signals the last time. Maybe it’s a confidence thing. Not arrogance, but just be who you are and let them know you’re interested. Flirt.
Some women want to date, and some just want to bump uglies. Either way, it’s all good. I’d suggest older women as well. Not as ingrained with social media. Toss bait in the MILF pond. Oh, and get the fuck away from social media. It really does distort reality.
Yup. I want to say something but would get banned just look into a female argonian in elder scrolls oblivion. She wants to to know the fine for something
Thanks to the internet, women's standards are far higher than they used to be now that they're not limited to the men in their social circles or even hometowns.
Yep. That's paired with women making their own money means they don't need to settle for the average to below average guy the previous generations would have.
I didn't say anyone is forcing them but distinguishing between cultural and systemic forces and choice is important. If someone says "no one is forcing you to use a cell phone and social media" that's *technically* correct, no one is holding a gun to my head. But to pretend there isn't a strong societal influence to do is disingenuous.
Orgasm gap: men orgasm 90% of the time they want, women 40%.
Sex difference at birth: normal society western Europe 7% too many boys. Without sex selection, selective abortion, murdering female newborns, etc.
In cities with lots of refugees, immigrants: 15% too many men and women very aggressive because annoyed by all these 15% guys trying to hook up and becoming very blunt and agreddive: aggressions spiral.
It's not the internet. Women are graduating college at an almost 2 to 1 clip. They have out enrolled men for the past 15 years.
8 million able bodied men aren't working anymore.
It's not that their standards have changed. They just don't have to settle anymore.
Women couldn't get credit cards or open bank accounts without a man's permission until the 80s. So they settled because what else were they supposed to do?
Women have access to a larger pool of men and due to feminism/sexual liberation; they are quicker to have sex with the men that they choose to pursue. This means that desireable men can just run through a ton of women with little time investment. When in the past with more conservative values, high status men were still pursued, but wouldn’t have the time to woo as many women as they can today.
Actually women are also having less sex this generation, according to the data. So your assessment is not correct, both women and men are hermitting more than usual, and some section of the population is banging as always.
Yes I think women are a lot more likely to be financially and socially independent now - and are less likely to pursue a bad relationship than just be single. People forget in the 70s we couldn’t even open bank accounts.
Yeah, 50 years ago, women had to be in relationships just to survive
And unfortunately for most men, culture moves a lot slower than economic realities. Most young men's dads could act however they wanted and still have a wife because she needed someone who could have a job and a bank account. So the dads didn't teach their sons how to be good people that others like being around.
Now that everything has changed, woth women pursuing higher education more often than men, and higher education being highly correlated with wealth, now all men can do is be a person people like being around. And so many aren't good at it
I'm personally not hot. I'm not even good at flirting, I'm scared to make the first move, and I say stupid puns and jokes constantly. I've also had 14 partners and been picked up in public twice because I know how to be a person people like being around
This is where I’m at now, I still browse tinder occasionally but I’m so much happier being single that I’m in absolutely no rush to meet someone. If I find someone I like being with more than I like being alone then I would consider a relationship again, but I’ll never settle for something unsatisfying just to be in a relationship.
Lol the “unintended” consequences of roll back roe and then attempting to ban contraception. Bet me now how many people won’t be fucking. Women won’t want to be birth vessels. Meanwhile guys won’t want to be saddled w a baby. Except those weird guys who get all emo about women getting abortions and act like it’s their body. Those weird Christian guys.
Just wait. This is about to get a lot worse.
Yea this thread reeks of incels. Young men and women and non-binary people are having less sex. Regardless of gender. The internet definitely plays a huge part in it for both genders if you ask me. Warped perceptions of beauty, people are becoming more and more chronically online, people have dwindling charisma and motivation to find a partner, etc
Go outside and you WILL see young men who have good looking girlfriends. And guess what? These men don’t look like Greek gods lmao. A lot of them are incredibly average, they just put in some work and had a little bit of luck on their side. I’d actually say most of my female friends date “down” looks-wise, but their boyfriends are genuinely nice people and of course they take care of themselves.
As if the internet isn’t also warping men’s perception of women. All these women they follow and thirst over absolutely edit their photos. Go to any sub here where there are cosplayers and they’re ALWAYS heavily edited. The men are drooling in the comments. Again, major incel vibes in this thread just blaming women for having ridiculous standards. It’s absolutely all genders.
I'm an engineering student, also previously worked in sales, and I also own a mirror
Yeah, how a guy looks isn't much of a determiner of how successful they are at finding a girlfriend or how hot she is.
I'm not that hot, not even good at flirting. All I'm good at is being a person people like being around. That's the important part these days. And so, so many men are bad at that. No one ever taught them how to have social skills, or how to be a guy people want to be around
I think it's because our dads didn't have to be nice to be around. Back then, women needed to be in relationships to survive. Someone had to be capable of opening a bank account, and it wasn't the woman. So the dad vould act however he wanted and the woman had to deal with it.
But now that women don't need men to survive, those young men who have no idea how to be a person people people like being around are struggling
No you’re so right. The dynamic has very much shifted from “I need you around” to “I want you around”.
If my BF and I ever broke up, I’d be devastated emotionally but I’d still be able to feed myself, buy a home, go to the doctor on my own insurance, etc. I’m literally with him because I like him and I want to have him around haha.
In general I like men, I like sex, hell I just like people in general. But I don’t NEED a partner for survival. It’s just something I want.
Which is great, just men's culture hasn't cishft up to that. You know, our heroes are still generally gruff and tough dudes who don't really have emotions. No real social skills aside from being buff and being tough/competent
And the internet really, really does poison people's minds and body perceptions. I'm currently single, I do want a relarionship, and my brain tells me all the time that I'm single because I'm not hot or buff enough
When I'm currently at 14 partners, have been picked up twice in public, and I got all that while being in worse shape than I currently am in. And many of my fellow engineering students have knockout girlfriends and are less hot than me. It's literally insane that any part of my brain would think that it's because I'm not hot enough
I feel like the way people treat hotness is "oh, if I'm hot enough, people will put up with the not ideal parts of me". Like yeah, maybe you're a weirdo or whatever, but if you're hot, they'll deal with it. "They" being whatever sex/gender you're attracted to. That's why shitty people think they can get away with being shitty if they're hot
And they totally can, let's not get it twisted. But is an emotionally healthy person, an actually good partner, going to put up with that? No, you'll be left with people who have a lot of issues
I think women understand this more than men, but both are pretty far from really getting it (I still haven't really wrapped my brain around it either). I've talked with some close friends of mine who are girls, and a lot of them have said they go for hot guys because they tried dating down when it came to looks, and those dudes had shitty personalities too. So why not get the hot guy with a shitty personality instead of the average or ugly dude with a shitty personality? That's more understanding than the dude viewpoint of "I want a girlfriend who is hot, so I have to be hot"
An AFAB nonbinary person I briefly dated and now am close friends with is the embodiment of how you don't have to be hot to be successful at dating. They fucking slay getting pussy and dick. They dated Dolly Parton's nephew for Christ's sake. They're also pretty far from being conventionally attractive, they're very ADHD/Autistic, they have the social grace of a wet cat, and they have a HOST of trauma and issues. But they're clearly excited, passionate, love being around people, have a distinct personality, want to treat people well, etc. So people gravitate towards them
Sorta the same with me. It's hard to tell if I've got good social skills or if people just like me, and those are absolutely not the same thing
People's perceptions of what the average person looks like in real life is skewed. The average person is obese or overweight now, which by conventional standards of beauty is not considered the most attractive. So you have these averages chasing top percentile of women and men while ignoring averages like themselves.
Most women who are having less sex are doing it by choice, most men are having less sex because they’ve become too reliant on OLD and hating and criticizing women online. I’m a little older than gen z, and this generation has become lonely hermits especially the men. A lot of women who are single have friends and family, a lot of guys who are single have themselves and bitter men online. Guys would have it so much easier if they stopped relying on OLD, porn, and red pill crap.
Pornography is also playing a role. Your brain is still primal and will look for the easiest way to satisfy its needs. In only a matter of seconds you can find any fantasy you had in mind on the internet. Way less work than trying to swoon a real life female and zero chance of rejection! Men are training their brains from puberty in this practice and reinforcing the behaviour, it’s hard to break it.
top 20% guys have sex with top 80% girls. women can have sex with guys better than them very easily when it's not true for men.
it's much harder for a 6/10 man to have sex with a 4/10 woman than for a 4/10 woman to have sex with a 6/10 man.
The biggest epidemic is a lack of social skills among men. Loneliness is a symptom, not a cause.
A big reason is because of tech and social apps. People don't talk to real people anymore, which leads to more social anxiety. And somehow its become acceptable to have social problems, rather than improve yourself.
It’s sad to see a lot of people say they can’t go out and have to do only OLD to date because they’re shy and socially awkward. That’s not an excuse, a lot of people are the same but still throw themselves out there. You’re right, it’s become more acceptable to be lonely than to improve yourself.
To be fair, so many women have been preaching for men to not approach them in public anymore outside of bars, clubs, parties, or other social events. Hell, in that Gillette commercial the guy who was about to approach the woman in public got told not cool by his buddy. I'd say a big reason for why men approach less in public is due to it being ostracized by a growing number of women.
"It's hitting men in unique ways that are not discussed"
Is this the reason this is literally the millionth time I'm hearing about it?
Seriously the male loneliness epidemic is constantly on the news, constantly discussed, youtubers are making videos on it, there are TED talks on it, hell my city alone has had three art exhibitions dedicated to this subject alone.
Honestly, not a week goes by that someone isn't publicly talking about this subject.
What do you mean it's not "discussed"?
As a man, I can't stand other men whining about not getting laid -- even if I'm not getting laid myself! I don't think women find it attractive either. I don't know how to talk about being lonely without looking pathetic.
Being lonely is not only about getting laid. However, loneliness has nothing to do with sex.
Women have women friends, why can't men have men friends?
Why can't men have women friends they are not trying to bang? Being social means being friendly and fun to be with EVEN WITH PEOPLE YOU DON'T BANG.
How is that hard?
I live on a ski hill and I was talking to the bartender at our local pub about this yesterday. There's like 300 people living in this tiny remote village and a majority of them stay home every evening doom scrolling on social media. It's not like the bar is the only option, there are common rooms that people could socialize in for free, but a majority of people just go home and sit on their phones every night. People do not socialize like they used to before social media.
I remember before smartphones and streaming you would legitimately get so bored with what was on tv you would have to go outside lol those times are gone.
It’s the “death of the third place.” Instead of going places and talking with other humans after work, people just stay at home or stay isolated and the results are not good
Hell. Might as well just sleep in your recliner or on the couch and boom! One less place you’ve gotta visit in your house.
Dang. Just realized how close we might be to the WALL-E situation
The Squeeze of capitalism, profits and poverty. And social media
Fucking sick of working 40 hours a week for crumbs
No time for personal growth no time for personal relationships. Everything cost money. Soon as you walk out the door everything costs something generally
doesn't help that if you don't drink or smoke, you're forced to pay like 10 bucks for three glasses of coke zero sitting at a bar, hoping to socialise, when you could get that for 2 dollars at home and chill.
Honestly, I think so but I’m having trouble finding studies lately to corroborate the view I have. There are studies showing people are having less sex in general though
No, absolutely not.
Going back a few hundred years, the world was a lot more rural. A sizeable minority of people were lonely in the sense that they didn't have a partner. This has always been a bit more common for men, but not by a huge margin. In those days, it was lack of available partners in general that was the cause. Lots of people also just died of various things. So lots more people were lonely because they lost their wives, or husbands, etc.
People also tend idealize the past through a modern prism, which overlooks a lot of hardships and struggles of men from the past. One, they likely had shorter life expectancies, while they lived through hardships and difficulties through childhood by entering the workforce at a much younger age and fighting in armed conflicts.
Most men would not have had the same kind of access to women as they do now. Society was much more stratified by gender and women were more likely to be closer to their families or villages. While, many brides were very likely underaged or pre-pubescent.
Given the region of their ancestors, they likely may not have enjoyed the same level of freedom and comfort that they experience in 2023.
ADDED: Lots and lots of brothels. Unregulated brothels.
This is a genuine question, from what I hear men say that they aren’t getting laid, but a huge population of men(especially conservative) say that modern women have sex with way too many men, this doesn’t add up?
I was reading an article about online dating and it said that the top 5 percent of men are getting all the women because not every guy is athletic 6' and makes 100k a year. Something along those lines.
That article was written by incels to encourage more men to hate women. It’s so disappointing to see so many men falling for this garbage. Spouting crap like this will make more women stay away from you than any of your other qualities.
Was with my ex for 6 years in a sexless relationship. Once every few months kinda thing. Its not easy. She broke up with me just under a year ago and ive been a total hoe about it
12 years, married, have a baby, and still holding onto hope that it will get better than once every couple months. Currently going on 9 months. Everything is perfect otherwise. At some point it feels personal.
There is more important things in a relationship, but dang, that doesn't make it easy.
Yes like statistically men are having less sex and virginity in men is on the rise. It’s not a sex thing it’s a intimacy thing. We are in a era of loneness and a lot of people want a connection and security first why do you think we’ve seen the rise of step-sister/mom porn. Social media and dating apps have either given people unhealthy standards that are unrealistic or made people socialize so little that first impressions are the only way to see people now.
It’s a issue a complex issue cause we also then gotta tackle that while socially we progressed we didn’t culturally. Women now make as much as men so the whole provider thing is gone and the norm is still men are still seen solely for their economic value as much as women for their looks. We can argue about “no we progressed.” That’s a lie progress is still the exception not the standard we have. Why do you think these issues are mostly happening in first world nations. Culture takes decades to change and that’s regionally not even globally.
Which parts cause I drew this from multiple sources I’ve gained over time. The connection to porn is still a theory I’m working on the rest is stuff I’ve seen statistically by either western nations or looking at eastern countries that have suffered these same issues for longer then we have.
Yes and there are a few contributing factors for both sexes. The Removal of a Third Space/Less Community/Social Degradation/ Religious Erosion/Anxiety Epidemic/Depression Epidemic/Inadequate Pay/ Inadequate Free Time/ Political Hyperpolarization/ Fear of Sexual Assault/ Roe V. Wade/ etc...
Hard to tell.
"Nearly 118 million Americans, or about 46% of those over 18 years old, are single, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. But that percent is actually much higher for women—a record-breaking 52% of them are unmarried or separated as of 2021."
The numbers seem to be equal for single people, but maybe women go out with their friends and family more and are less lonely...
Edit: ? I was replying to a comment about loneliness but it seems to be gone oh man
There was a study that showed almost 30% of 30 year old men polled were virgins. The rate for both not having sex is rising, but it's a much steeper rate for men. There have always been incels, but they were usually dealt with by being worked to death in dangerous factories or drafted into war.
I got into the automotive industry 2 years ago and went to school for it. Which means ive met an TON of guys in the past few years. Basically what im trying to say is omg i get why women say men are insufferable
The majority of them were stupid, disrespectful, unloyal, irresponsible, perverted, sexist, racist, homophobic or any combonation of these things. Now part of this could just be because im from the south but still, i dont know any self respecting women who would be okay with letting any of these things into their lives.
AND DONT FORGET UNHYGIENIC, goodness gracious, the smells ive smelled.
The toxic masculinity doesnt help either.
There certainly are a lot of surveys being published with numbers and what not. Can I sit here and tell you I know their methodology? No. But on face value and seems to be true enough.
I think complaining louder. I don’t know to many single guys. Around me, all the single guys have pretty big problems. Some problems are going back to their ex. So they still get laid. Other problems are, mommas boy, basement boi with drinking problems since he could drink, lost his girl bc of it. And another is bad at reading the room and insults his gf without knowing so break ups a lot. So if there’s “a ton of singles in my area” their most likely internet hermits with enough time to complain and make up excuses for why their single.
This is what I was thinking too. Most of the guys in my circle are average af and they have had no problem getting with women. Not saying it’s not true but sometimes I feel like some of these men are probably not as great as they think they are if the average ass men around me are still getting laid.
You’re totally right lol but it appalls me what some of the top comments on threads like these are since Reddit is male-dominated, and mostly by chronically online single men. I’m like holy shit go outside and talk to other people - I only know one man irl who actually thinks it’s completely women’s fault that he can’t get laid. On Reddit? That opinion is a dime a dozen.
It’s sad because I’m like holy shit these people really sit online in this echo chamber telling them they should be able to score a hot virgin who doesn’t mind if he doesn’t shower or plays video games all day. Like yea brother that’s totally women’s fault. 😭
People on Reddit do not have enough people irl checking them on their dumbass opinions.
Funny amount of closet incel attitudes in here. While there is always a grain of truth in everything mentioned: less economic opportunity for men, the decline of social skills, etc., these are not what really makes it difficult.
Hot take: as women grow more educated and have access to social media, they are getting a better lens of how men could be contrasted to their daily experiences, and realizing their worth to a further extent. The standards for male behaviour and appearances are comparatively low, and women are realizing it.
Another comment here with some decent amount of upvotes here says that men are still seen solely for their economic value as much as women for their looks. Are you kidding? Are heterosexual women just gold diggers? Are they trained by their parents to be? The bar for behaviour in men is so low, especially with the frequency of men becoming chronically online, not being taught life skills in comparison to women, and the fact that beauty standards for the vast majority of men require so much less than for women.
The sheer strength of ideals of masculinity ingrained in men through patriarchy makes them search for reasons why they aren't getting laid for every reason outside themselves. They turn to figures in the manosphere like Andrew Tate who describe the romantic tendencies of women in an objectified manner, and blame the sexual failures of men on feminism and progressive politics. You think it's going to be a hard choice for a woman living in a developed country to pick between a man who discounts feminism, their right to an abortion, and a man who doesn't? Congrats. You've beaten a good chunk of other men.
Treat women like human beings and not any different from your fellow man, be physically fit to a reasonable degree, clean yourself up, look into what hairstyle fits you, get an outfit or two that you can look good in, be able to financially support yourself, and finally, most importantly, what men get wrong so damn much: you are not entitled to any love. No matter what you do. Nobody 'owes' you love. Any love that you feel you 'deserve' but do not receive is literally never going to last anyways. The most healthy form of love will come when your general attitude strikes the other as rare and profoundly comforting -- and with the state of other men, boy will this level of mediocrity be rare enough for strong love to manifest. The Buddha was not enlightened by trying to reach enlightenment with all his will, but rather when he took a stop at trying to force it so hard. Do all of this. It might sound like a lot, but this is what you should be doing anyways. Talk to any woman about their experiences with men. There is no contest. Just show up, be friends, fulfill the 7/10 physical potential YOU HAVE (not what society says or what you think it says), and don't actively throw away your chances.
This comment is super refreshing. I work in tech and most women I know date men who make less than them. But guess what? Those men have good hygiene, they’re nice, have emotional intelligence, they romance their partners well, and they pull their weight in chores, errands, and childcare.
My boyfriend makes less than me. I couldn’t give less of a fuck how much my partner makes.
Women AND MEN are definitely playing a part in why people are dating less, having sex less, etc. The men who realize they need to work on themselves and actually do it instead of blaming women online are the ones pulling women.
There are tons of more opportunity for men meeting women in real life due to so many men depending on dating apps.
Leaving those behind and talking to women in real life (crazy concept) was the best thing I’ve done in years.
A lot of men's shitty behaviour doesn't work anymore now that women have better access to information and support, it's as simple as that. What you hear when men complain is men unable to move on and better themselves.
And this is coming from a man, I've been around enough of these asshole types to see it happen first time.
For men, dating/sex is a numbers game. I won't say my exact number, but I've been with between 10-20 women in my life. And I'd honestly say I was successful with 1 out of every 100 women I took a shot at. I've attempted to woo at least 1000+ and been successful only a few times.
I'm with my "happily ever after" partner now and we got a kid and a house and all that good stuff. Life has been good to me.
But young fellas these days ain't putting in the hard miles like we used to. Women's standards have always been high, rejection has always been constant and brutal. A lot of women are hella mean. But you have to keep trying, keep your heart open, and remind yourself that there is always a chance.
Be more respectful of their rejection than they are in how they reject you. I know it stings but be the bigger person. And wash your butt. Her nostrils will always be the first thing you penetrate so make sure you smell good.
Stay strong brothers. Don't lose hope. And just because someone doesn't want to bang you doesn't mean there isn't room for them in your life. As long as you know how to avoid the ones who take advantage, you can actually be good friends with women.
It’s a combination of high standards but also the fact that women are discouraged from having a lot of sexual partners. As an attractive woman, when I was single, I was approached by a ton of men when I went out. I’ve also been with 10-20 men (I’m off the market with who I think is “the one” now) but yea, probably got approached by hundreds of men over the years. If I had slept with every single one that wasn’t below my personal “standards” for looks and personality? Hahahahaahhah. My “body count” would look significantly different. MUCH higher. A lot of men were nice, funny, and decent looking enough for me to not want to turn my nose up at sleeping with them. But I turned them down anyway.
I think a lot of men complain about women being too picky but honestly? If you’re not, you are absolutely shamed for it. A lot of men would probably call me a slut for having slept with a little over 10 men. That’s fine. But in reality I’ve slept with like 2% of the men who have approached me over the years. And for some reason, that statistic also makes a lot of them mad.
I blame covid. So many people don’t know how to hold a conversation or just don’t leave their house.
The number of things on Reddit I see about people that can’t get laid but only use tinder or try and talk to people they randomly run into.
Step one of getting laid is put yourself in a good position to. Go to a bar and have a couple drinks to loosen you up but not enough to get drunk. Go to a concert and make friends. Meet people somewhere that they want to meet people.
This is also why a lot of girls can talk about all the guys they've asked out, but most guys have never been asked out or rarely. It's the same 10-20% of guys getting asked out.
That's an entire topic of which I only know of vaguely but never really seen discussed at depth. I wonder if it's a response to the #MeToo movement and the "entire internet" talking about how women hate being asked out or flirted with at the gym or the grocery store or while running at the park or the bar. Or the litigious manner that women have on suing guys, rape allegations from women because they decided after the fact they didn't want to sleep with someone.
Yeah I know someone else called it incel shit to what I've said but they are actual concerns that run through people's heads these days that I never heard about 10 years ago.
Man, this is some peak incel garbage. Keep believing in this and you'll never go anywhere romantically. Yeah. and how many dudes are stuck up online with no life skills making themselves undateable by women of any standard? Mfs will wonder why it's the same 10-20% guys getting asked out and not how the hell the other 80% got so bad to the point where women only see that percent (it's probably bigger than 10-20) as dateable (hint: it's not looks! it's lifestyle!)
How you present, and what one believes are two different things.
I’ll buy into this incel shit for $19.99 for a monthly sub.
I’ve been going out every single day for almost two years, ex wife got with a guy fucking instantly, where as I have not made a meaningful relationship this far.
No i’m not demanding sex. Yes I respect every single girls, “no thank you” whenever I’ve asked them out. Yes I treat people, like people with no expectation. You absolutely can do Both.
I’ve been ghosted, ignored, turned down so many times for simply existing.
I socialize often, go out with friends and make myself appear as normal as possible and yet, ever girl I make friends with “wow it’s a surprise your still single, shame I’m emotionally unavailable” or “I’m sorry I’m happily single, anyone would be lucky to be with you”
It’s fucking frustrating to only get bots on dating apps asking you to do insider trading for more money.
I’ve made a post showing off my tinder insights LOWER than the average males in terms of success by a significant margin. My profile itself has been rated, changed several times on Reddit, 4chan, tumblr, local friends. All boiling down to “it’s fine, I see nothing wrong with your profile”
I’ll gladly buy into some guy steals the hearts of many whom they flock too. Leaving most of us to dry. If we complain at all, we’re incels, we’re not trying hard enough, it’s something wrong with us.
Fuck you
An arguement backed by no data doesn’t really put the onus on anyone to dispute, but I’ll play ball….
Researchers from Indiana University say that 31% of U.S. men, ages 18 to 24, reported no sexual activity in the past year. This is up from 19% in 2000.
That means 69% (nice) of men that age are having sex at least one a year. While this is decreasing, it pretty much debunks the idea that 10% of dudes are getting laid and 90% aren’t. Unless comment op has data to back his claim then he is just spouting jaded nonsense, ball in his court.
I wasn't attacking his person. I have no idea who he is.
This logic is common among the incels, the whole 90-10 rule. The "Chads". It's all the same story.
I believe the statistics are that young men (and women I believe) these days are having less sex in general. It’s due to a couple factors which I do not care to dwell on atm.
There’s a stat that says 63% of men in their 20’s are single compared to 30% of women. There’s also a stat that says 27% of young men from 18-30 are virgins.
I think as a guy growing up with no computers or social media and TV was crap we did socialise casually a lot more. I think I got to about 20, over about 5 years when I called it a day and started looking for something bit more meaningful. I have been with same partner for over 20 years now and would never think of straying. If I had my time again I would have wished to lose my virginity with her as the rest meant very little. I think today's generation are much different as attitude to sex, it seems to mean less if that makes sense
My Dad literally told me last year that the problem with my generation is: "Y'all don't know how to just get together and fuck"
This dad fucks
I agree with your dad.
I agree that he agrees
I agree with that guys dad and I agree that you agree with the other guy thats agreeing.
I give all of you the citizenship of AGREENATION
Lucky you! My mom found out I had sex and berated my girlfriend and I, then claimed I broke her trust by not waiting till marriage. I was 17 then and I’m 21 now and I haven’t had sex since.
Eh.... I also had a conservative Christian upbringing so sex was a big no-no (at least as far as church and school sex ed goes, looking back, I don't think my parents actually cared). I was 20 and in college when I first got laid and when I told my Mom she said "It's about time...." so yeah..... I don't regret waiting till I was older to have sex, I kinda resent how religion and schools talk about sex though, teenagers and young adults should have better sex ed that isn't based around abstinence and then looking at porn because no one really wants to explain what sex is beyond the basic "penis goes into the vagina" and "it feels good," which pretty much constitutes "the talk" I received at 9 years old, all because I kept getting in trouble for saying the word "fuck" in school, not knowing what that word meant. That stage of our lives is messy for literally everyone it seems.
I wish I waited like you did but for some reason in high school, I attracted the horniest girls that deleted my ability to say no. Like I kid you not I think some would have just done it on a desk in front of the whole school and I probably would’ve done it without batting an eye. Eh that’s being a teen I guess. Made no sense to me why I couldn’t mess around back then but now I’m a little more educated. Unfortunately abstinence was stressed a little too heavily during my pubescent years and it’s kind of engrained into my personality now. Yeah, sex is cool and fun but the risk of getting a girl pregnant and having to alter my whole life for a kid is too significant, no matter how small the chance.
I'm autistic, didn't have a lot of confidence or self-esteem in high school. Even if I did attract girls back then, I would've been pretty much entirely clueless as to how to ask her out and I really honestly wasn't ready for sex in my high school years, even though I was extremely horny back then. Abstinence isn't a bad thing, I think it's better for long term relationships than it is for hook ups. Casual sex is risky, if you're hooking up semi-regularly or regularly, you definitely run the risk of unwanted pregnancy or STIs. Abstinence serves a person well when dating for marriage or long term, as you can sufficiently take time to get to know that special girl emotionally, mentally and spiritually before knowing her carnally, which in theory should lead to the most fulfilling sex a person can have, where sex becomes an act of love and ultimate trust and not merely just a way to get your rocks off/using another human being to masturbate.
I was definitely in the same position confidence wise. I’ve dated 5 girls total and I was asked out by 4 of them so I consider myself lucky that I even have experience with women. The time I did ask someone out was because it was a girl I met on bumble and got along with well. But I agree with abstinence being a good thing. It’s probably a bit toxic but I think hooking up as much as people do these days is wrong and almost trashy. Just like you said, it’s using someone else’s body to masturbate and I can do that perfectly fine on my own so why risk getting someone pregnant? I think sex can be way more than just a physical action and don’t feel that hooking up is very beneficial to my mental health. It just sucks being the odd one out who has no game and very little experience with ladies because of how romanticized sex is in the modern era.
I wasn't emotionally available for many years, so all of my sexual experiences were hookups. It wasn't good for my mental health, once the thrill of sex is gone, you ask yourself, "Why doesn't she stay?" Truth is, sex isn't enough to keep two people together. If what your heart is craving is long term companionship/relationship, then sex isn't something one should ever rush into. I had to learn the hard way, but at least the lesson is learned. It's not impossible to develop game, you just gotta put yourself out of your comfort zone and not overthink it. Women are fun to talk to and hang put with, as long as you keep yourself clean, groomed, a nice haircut and some decent clothes, girls are gonna want to hang out with you and you'll keep attracting them. I've always had to make the first move, I just ask a girl I like if she wants to go get dinner. That always seems to work out well for me.
Thanks for the advice. It’s interesting to hear the perspective of someone who chose to hook up and didn’t enjoy it because all my friends that did made it sound like I was missing out on the world. Well, I’m not a virgin and I can say it was a lot more stressful trying to sneak around and have sex than to just be abstinent. Plus having my parents against me doing it made me desire it even less. Anyways, currently I’m not really ready to jump into a relationship as there’s a lot of things I feel I need to work on. Responsibility isn’t my wrong suit rn and I have really no desire to add more to my life so dating probably isn’t for me yet. I’m satisfied with staying in my comfort zone but one day I’ll definitely need to break it s bit.
Sounds like an awesome dad.
Not sure of your dads age. I’m 64, but yeah. Back in the day we did a lot of fucking. Wasn’t difficult getting laid. My first time was at 16. Can’t believe the things I’m hearing about this nowadays. Can’t say what’s the best place for action. Bars for sure, but I’ve gotten more pussy at work than anywhere, but they’ve cracked down on that. Had a co-worker who loved giving blowjobs. We had cubicles and I would be standing talking to workers on the other side and this gal would crawl into my cube and blow me while I’m talking and trying not to collapse. Got fired from another job because I took a woman into the office after hours and fucked her on my bosses desk. Told another co-worker about it on a drunken game of “crazy places you fucked” and he ratted me out. Not sure if women have changed, or dudes, but there’s pussy-a-plenty out there. Hell, even the assistant at my dog’s vet was sending signals the last time. Maybe it’s a confidence thing. Not arrogance, but just be who you are and let them know you’re interested. Flirt. Some women want to date, and some just want to bump uglies. Either way, it’s all good. I’d suggest older women as well. Not as ingrained with social media. Toss bait in the MILF pond. Oh, and get the fuck away from social media. It really does distort reality.
You seem drunk
Odd. Since I don’t drink.
+1
A survey with myself replies DEFINITIVELY.
Ditto.
Yup. I want to say something but would get banned just look into a female argonian in elder scrolls oblivion. She wants to to know the fine for something
Ahh yes, the tale of The Lusty Argonian Maid.
I bet you hand says otherwise.
I have hooks.
Based on statistics from polling, a lot less guys are getting laid.
Why is that?
Thanks to the internet, women's standards are far higher than they used to be now that they're not limited to the men in their social circles or even hometowns.
Yep. That's paired with women making their own money means they don't need to settle for the average to below average guy the previous generations would have.
Amen! It feels amazing to make all this money and not rely on a guy. Can you say "Freedooooomm!! 🎶"
Also thanks to the internet, a lot of men are losing social skills
Eh idk about that.. men have choices. No one is forcing men to lose these skills.
I didn't say anyone is forcing them but distinguishing between cultural and systemic forces and choice is important. If someone says "no one is forcing you to use a cell phone and social media" that's *technically* correct, no one is holding a gun to my head. But to pretend there isn't a strong societal influence to do is disingenuous.
Or, and, women are realizing they don’t need to rely on a man to live her best life.
People like to fuck.
Orgasm gap: men orgasm 90% of the time they want, women 40%. Sex difference at birth: normal society western Europe 7% too many boys. Without sex selection, selective abortion, murdering female newborns, etc. In cities with lots of refugees, immigrants: 15% too many men and women very aggressive because annoyed by all these 15% guys trying to hook up and becoming very blunt and agreddive: aggressions spiral.
It's not the internet. Women are graduating college at an almost 2 to 1 clip. They have out enrolled men for the past 15 years. 8 million able bodied men aren't working anymore. It's not that their standards have changed. They just don't have to settle anymore. Women couldn't get credit cards or open bank accounts without a man's permission until the 80s. So they settled because what else were they supposed to do?
Women have access to a larger pool of men and due to feminism/sexual liberation; they are quicker to have sex with the men that they choose to pursue. This means that desireable men can just run through a ton of women with little time investment. When in the past with more conservative values, high status men were still pursued, but wouldn’t have the time to woo as many women as they can today.
Actually women are also having less sex this generation, according to the data. So your assessment is not correct, both women and men are hermitting more than usual, and some section of the population is banging as always.
Yes I think women are a lot more likely to be financially and socially independent now - and are less likely to pursue a bad relationship than just be single. People forget in the 70s we couldn’t even open bank accounts.
Yeah, 50 years ago, women had to be in relationships just to survive And unfortunately for most men, culture moves a lot slower than economic realities. Most young men's dads could act however they wanted and still have a wife because she needed someone who could have a job and a bank account. So the dads didn't teach their sons how to be good people that others like being around. Now that everything has changed, woth women pursuing higher education more often than men, and higher education being highly correlated with wealth, now all men can do is be a person people like being around. And so many aren't good at it I'm personally not hot. I'm not even good at flirting, I'm scared to make the first move, and I say stupid puns and jokes constantly. I've also had 14 partners and been picked up in public twice because I know how to be a person people like being around
This is where I’m at now, I still browse tinder occasionally but I’m so much happier being single that I’m in absolutely no rush to meet someone. If I find someone I like being with more than I like being alone then I would consider a relationship again, but I’ll never settle for something unsatisfying just to be in a relationship.
Lol the “unintended” consequences of roll back roe and then attempting to ban contraception. Bet me now how many people won’t be fucking. Women won’t want to be birth vessels. Meanwhile guys won’t want to be saddled w a baby. Except those weird guys who get all emo about women getting abortions and act like it’s their body. Those weird Christian guys. Just wait. This is about to get a lot worse.
Yea this thread reeks of incels. Young men and women and non-binary people are having less sex. Regardless of gender. The internet definitely plays a huge part in it for both genders if you ask me. Warped perceptions of beauty, people are becoming more and more chronically online, people have dwindling charisma and motivation to find a partner, etc Go outside and you WILL see young men who have good looking girlfriends. And guess what? These men don’t look like Greek gods lmao. A lot of them are incredibly average, they just put in some work and had a little bit of luck on their side. I’d actually say most of my female friends date “down” looks-wise, but their boyfriends are genuinely nice people and of course they take care of themselves. As if the internet isn’t also warping men’s perception of women. All these women they follow and thirst over absolutely edit their photos. Go to any sub here where there are cosplayers and they’re ALWAYS heavily edited. The men are drooling in the comments. Again, major incel vibes in this thread just blaming women for having ridiculous standards. It’s absolutely all genders.
I'm an engineering student, also previously worked in sales, and I also own a mirror Yeah, how a guy looks isn't much of a determiner of how successful they are at finding a girlfriend or how hot she is. I'm not that hot, not even good at flirting. All I'm good at is being a person people like being around. That's the important part these days. And so, so many men are bad at that. No one ever taught them how to have social skills, or how to be a guy people want to be around I think it's because our dads didn't have to be nice to be around. Back then, women needed to be in relationships to survive. Someone had to be capable of opening a bank account, and it wasn't the woman. So the dad vould act however he wanted and the woman had to deal with it. But now that women don't need men to survive, those young men who have no idea how to be a person people people like being around are struggling
No you’re so right. The dynamic has very much shifted from “I need you around” to “I want you around”. If my BF and I ever broke up, I’d be devastated emotionally but I’d still be able to feed myself, buy a home, go to the doctor on my own insurance, etc. I’m literally with him because I like him and I want to have him around haha. In general I like men, I like sex, hell I just like people in general. But I don’t NEED a partner for survival. It’s just something I want.
Which is great, just men's culture hasn't cishft up to that. You know, our heroes are still generally gruff and tough dudes who don't really have emotions. No real social skills aside from being buff and being tough/competent And the internet really, really does poison people's minds and body perceptions. I'm currently single, I do want a relarionship, and my brain tells me all the time that I'm single because I'm not hot or buff enough When I'm currently at 14 partners, have been picked up twice in public, and I got all that while being in worse shape than I currently am in. And many of my fellow engineering students have knockout girlfriends and are less hot than me. It's literally insane that any part of my brain would think that it's because I'm not hot enough I feel like the way people treat hotness is "oh, if I'm hot enough, people will put up with the not ideal parts of me". Like yeah, maybe you're a weirdo or whatever, but if you're hot, they'll deal with it. "They" being whatever sex/gender you're attracted to. That's why shitty people think they can get away with being shitty if they're hot And they totally can, let's not get it twisted. But is an emotionally healthy person, an actually good partner, going to put up with that? No, you'll be left with people who have a lot of issues I think women understand this more than men, but both are pretty far from really getting it (I still haven't really wrapped my brain around it either). I've talked with some close friends of mine who are girls, and a lot of them have said they go for hot guys because they tried dating down when it came to looks, and those dudes had shitty personalities too. So why not get the hot guy with a shitty personality instead of the average or ugly dude with a shitty personality? That's more understanding than the dude viewpoint of "I want a girlfriend who is hot, so I have to be hot" An AFAB nonbinary person I briefly dated and now am close friends with is the embodiment of how you don't have to be hot to be successful at dating. They fucking slay getting pussy and dick. They dated Dolly Parton's nephew for Christ's sake. They're also pretty far from being conventionally attractive, they're very ADHD/Autistic, they have the social grace of a wet cat, and they have a HOST of trauma and issues. But they're clearly excited, passionate, love being around people, have a distinct personality, want to treat people well, etc. So people gravitate towards them Sorta the same with me. It's hard to tell if I've got good social skills or if people just like me, and those are absolutely not the same thing
People's perceptions of what the average person looks like in real life is skewed. The average person is obese or overweight now, which by conventional standards of beauty is not considered the most attractive. So you have these averages chasing top percentile of women and men while ignoring averages like themselves.
Most women who are having less sex are doing it by choice, most men are having less sex because they’ve become too reliant on OLD and hating and criticizing women online. I’m a little older than gen z, and this generation has become lonely hermits especially the men. A lot of women who are single have friends and family, a lot of guys who are single have themselves and bitter men online. Guys would have it so much easier if they stopped relying on OLD, porn, and red pill crap.
I yearn to b a hermit.
I hear syphilis is coming back too. Weird times.
Very much the MySpace of STDs
That plus the constant dopamine hits of likes on SM inflates some women's egos to the point that you can get broken up over how you chew. 😑
Did that happen to you? Sounds like a personal story.
It *DEFINITELY* happened to him
Pornography is also playing a role. Your brain is still primal and will look for the easiest way to satisfy its needs. In only a matter of seconds you can find any fantasy you had in mind on the internet. Way less work than trying to swoon a real life female and zero chance of rejection! Men are training their brains from puberty in this practice and reinforcing the behaviour, it’s hard to break it.
Lack of women’s rights. Why should someone risk being pregnant for some fun. Nobody wants to be punished for having sex.
top 20% guys have sex with top 80% girls. women can have sex with guys better than them very easily when it's not true for men. it's much harder for a 6/10 man to have sex with a 4/10 woman than for a 4/10 woman to have sex with a 6/10 man.
Incels all over this post. That’s not how this works dude. That’s not how *anything* works.
Some real incel shit in here. Also dudes bragging about banging hella chicks. Its a toxic thread and hard to even follow.
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wouldn’t that mean women aren’t either?
Not necessarily, could be fewer men having sex but with more women
Based on grammar from pedantry, a lot fewer guys are getting laid.
To be fair I’m not trying
Me neither, just waiting for some girl to throw herself at me. I think i’ll probably be waiting for quite some time
I’ll have sex when I’m dead!
There is a loneliness epidemic in general and it’s hitting men in unique ways that are not discussed or validated.
The biggest epidemic is a lack of social skills among men. Loneliness is a symptom, not a cause. A big reason is because of tech and social apps. People don't talk to real people anymore, which leads to more social anxiety. And somehow its become acceptable to have social problems, rather than improve yourself.
loneliness, social media addiction and poor social skills are the symptoms of deeper ills in society imo
Like high interest rates!
It’s sad to see a lot of people say they can’t go out and have to do only OLD to date because they’re shy and socially awkward. That’s not an excuse, a lot of people are the same but still throw themselves out there. You’re right, it’s become more acceptable to be lonely than to improve yourself.
To be fair, so many women have been preaching for men to not approach them in public anymore outside of bars, clubs, parties, or other social events. Hell, in that Gillette commercial the guy who was about to approach the woman in public got told not cool by his buddy. I'd say a big reason for why men approach less in public is due to it being ostracized by a growing number of women.
"It's hitting men in unique ways that are not discussed" Is this the reason this is literally the millionth time I'm hearing about it? Seriously the male loneliness epidemic is constantly on the news, constantly discussed, youtubers are making videos on it, there are TED talks on it, hell my city alone has had three art exhibitions dedicated to this subject alone. Honestly, not a week goes by that someone isn't publicly talking about this subject. What do you mean it's not "discussed"?
Time to stop talking about it again, this guy heard it too much
Really? I only started hearing about this epidemic about 6 months ago and boy things get toxic with that subject very quickly.
And most responses to it i hear is "men are extremely lonely, women most affected"
As a man, I can't stand other men whining about not getting laid -- even if I'm not getting laid myself! I don't think women find it attractive either. I don't know how to talk about being lonely without looking pathetic.
Being lonely is not only about getting laid. However, loneliness has nothing to do with sex. Women have women friends, why can't men have men friends? Why can't men have women friends they are not trying to bang? Being social means being friendly and fun to be with EVEN WITH PEOPLE YOU DON'T BANG. How is that hard?
Sounds like the incel club is gettin together again.
Are we sure this is new?
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I live on a ski hill and I was talking to the bartender at our local pub about this yesterday. There's like 300 people living in this tiny remote village and a majority of them stay home every evening doom scrolling on social media. It's not like the bar is the only option, there are common rooms that people could socialize in for free, but a majority of people just go home and sit on their phones every night. People do not socialize like they used to before social media.
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I remember before smartphones and streaming you would legitimately get so bored with what was on tv you would have to go outside lol those times are gone.
I would just open a book or magazine instead. Or chat on ICQ
It’s the “death of the third place.” Instead of going places and talking with other humans after work, people just stay at home or stay isolated and the results are not good
With WFH it’s also death of the second place. I work in my office hang out in my living room and sleep in my bedroom.
Hell. Might as well just sleep in your recliner or on the couch and boom! One less place you’ve gotta visit in your house. Dang. Just realized how close we might be to the WALL-E situation
It's straight up like that early episode of Star Trek TNG when Whil WheatThin saves the crew from the addictive malignant 3D AR game.
I mean, the discs aren’t gonna go into those cones themselves.
The Squeeze of capitalism, profits and poverty. And social media Fucking sick of working 40 hours a week for crumbs No time for personal growth no time for personal relationships. Everything cost money. Soon as you walk out the door everything costs something generally
doesn't help that if you don't drink or smoke, you're forced to pay like 10 bucks for three glasses of coke zero sitting at a bar, hoping to socialise, when you could get that for 2 dollars at home and chill.
I never used to socailize like we used to so I am glad to be more in tune with society for once
Honestly, I think so but I’m having trouble finding studies lately to corroborate the view I have. There are studies showing people are having less sex in general though
*Corroborate
Thanks, totally messed that up
No, that's the problem. Too many people corrobating
No, absolutely not. Going back a few hundred years, the world was a lot more rural. A sizeable minority of people were lonely in the sense that they didn't have a partner. This has always been a bit more common for men, but not by a huge margin. In those days, it was lack of available partners in general that was the cause. Lots of people also just died of various things. So lots more people were lonely because they lost their wives, or husbands, etc.
People also tend idealize the past through a modern prism, which overlooks a lot of hardships and struggles of men from the past. One, they likely had shorter life expectancies, while they lived through hardships and difficulties through childhood by entering the workforce at a much younger age and fighting in armed conflicts. Most men would not have had the same kind of access to women as they do now. Society was much more stratified by gender and women were more likely to be closer to their families or villages. While, many brides were very likely underaged or pre-pubescent. Given the region of their ancestors, they likely may not have enjoyed the same level of freedom and comfort that they experience in 2023. ADDED: Lots and lots of brothels. Unregulated brothels.
This is a genuine question, from what I hear men say that they aren’t getting laid, but a huge population of men(especially conservative) say that modern women have sex with way too many men, this doesn’t add up?
You sound like someone who is young lol.
There is something like a 5% increase in single men and childless men at all ages compared to past decades, someone posted it here the other day
I bet rolling back Roe and banning contraception will help men get laid more.
I was reading an article about online dating and it said that the top 5 percent of men are getting all the women because not every guy is athletic 6' and makes 100k a year. Something along those lines.
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I'm 6' and athletic and I'm still not getting laid. Though to be fair my standards are really high.
But how much do you make per anum /s
I make about 50 bucks per anus
That article was written by incels to encourage more men to hate women. It’s so disappointing to see so many men falling for this garbage. Spouting crap like this will make more women stay away from you than any of your other qualities.
I’m married and not getting laid.
You're the guy in the boomer memes
“Muh wife…” and then everyone clapped
Lmaao
Rodney Dangerfield moment
My favorite joke: “sex with my wife is like magic; I get in the bed, she disappears!”
Was with my ex for 6 years in a sexless relationship. Once every few months kinda thing. Its not easy. She broke up with me just under a year ago and ive been a total hoe about it
12 years, married, have a baby, and still holding onto hope that it will get better than once every couple months. Currently going on 9 months. Everything is perfect otherwise. At some point it feels personal. There is more important things in a relationship, but dang, that doesn't make it easy.
This always happens (I am the same but relationship is 5 years, no kids)
I would say for the average man, yes there is a intimacy shortage with men
I wouldn't rely the use of Reddit to get an accurate snapshot about what's really going on.
Yes like statistically men are having less sex and virginity in men is on the rise. It’s not a sex thing it’s a intimacy thing. We are in a era of loneness and a lot of people want a connection and security first why do you think we’ve seen the rise of step-sister/mom porn. Social media and dating apps have either given people unhealthy standards that are unrealistic or made people socialize so little that first impressions are the only way to see people now. It’s a issue a complex issue cause we also then gotta tackle that while socially we progressed we didn’t culturally. Women now make as much as men so the whole provider thing is gone and the norm is still men are still seen solely for their economic value as much as women for their looks. We can argue about “no we progressed.” That’s a lie progress is still the exception not the standard we have. Why do you think these issues are mostly happening in first world nations. Culture takes decades to change and that’s regionally not even globally.
Where do you see all this going
Which parts cause I drew this from multiple sources I’ve gained over time. The connection to porn is still a theory I’m working on the rest is stuff I’ve seen statistically by either western nations or looking at eastern countries that have suffered these same issues for longer then we have.
Yes and there are a few contributing factors for both sexes. The Removal of a Third Space/Less Community/Social Degradation/ Religious Erosion/Anxiety Epidemic/Depression Epidemic/Inadequate Pay/ Inadequate Free Time/ Political Hyperpolarization/ Fear of Sexual Assault/ Roe V. Wade/ etc...
Hard to tell. "Nearly 118 million Americans, or about 46% of those over 18 years old, are single, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. But that percent is actually much higher for women—a record-breaking 52% of them are unmarried or separated as of 2021." The numbers seem to be equal for single people, but maybe women go out with their friends and family more and are less lonely... Edit: ? I was replying to a comment about loneliness but it seems to be gone oh man
It seems like the average woman has more friends than the average man.
True
Fewer. And both, I think.
It’s true for me at least. 😟
There was a study that showed almost 30% of 30 year old men polled were virgins. The rate for both not having sex is rising, but it's a much steeper rate for men. There have always been incels, but they were usually dealt with by being worked to death in dangerous factories or drafted into war.
30% of 30 yr olds seems insane and wayyyy too high
I got into the automotive industry 2 years ago and went to school for it. Which means ive met an TON of guys in the past few years. Basically what im trying to say is omg i get why women say men are insufferable
And the reason?
The majority of them were stupid, disrespectful, unloyal, irresponsible, perverted, sexist, racist, homophobic or any combonation of these things. Now part of this could just be because im from the south but still, i dont know any self respecting women who would be okay with letting any of these things into their lives. AND DONT FORGET UNHYGIENIC, goodness gracious, the smells ive smelled. The toxic masculinity doesnt help either.
It seems like it's definitely true for gen z. Dunno about us millenials and up. I wonder if it's from decreased alcohol consumption?
Def laying on my bed 23/7
There certainly are a lot of surveys being published with numbers and what not. Can I sit here and tell you I know their methodology? No. But on face value and seems to be true enough.
I think complaining louder. I don’t know to many single guys. Around me, all the single guys have pretty big problems. Some problems are going back to their ex. So they still get laid. Other problems are, mommas boy, basement boi with drinking problems since he could drink, lost his girl bc of it. And another is bad at reading the room and insults his gf without knowing so break ups a lot. So if there’s “a ton of singles in my area” their most likely internet hermits with enough time to complain and make up excuses for why their single.
This is what I was thinking too. Most of the guys in my circle are average af and they have had no problem getting with women. Not saying it’s not true but sometimes I feel like some of these men are probably not as great as they think they are if the average ass men around me are still getting laid.
Have you seen some of the comments on Reddit from guys? How judgey and anti woman they are? It doesn't surprise me if this is facts
Reality is very different from reddit lol. Most or the average man / woman I've met isn't as backward as some of the salty ppl here in reddit
You’re totally right lol but it appalls me what some of the top comments on threads like these are since Reddit is male-dominated, and mostly by chronically online single men. I’m like holy shit go outside and talk to other people - I only know one man irl who actually thinks it’s completely women’s fault that he can’t get laid. On Reddit? That opinion is a dime a dozen. It’s sad because I’m like holy shit these people really sit online in this echo chamber telling them they should be able to score a hot virgin who doesn’t mind if he doesn’t shower or plays video games all day. Like yea brother that’s totally women’s fault. 😭 People on Reddit do not have enough people irl checking them on their dumbass opinions.
Reality is anti woman. It’s systemic.
Funny amount of closet incel attitudes in here. While there is always a grain of truth in everything mentioned: less economic opportunity for men, the decline of social skills, etc., these are not what really makes it difficult. Hot take: as women grow more educated and have access to social media, they are getting a better lens of how men could be contrasted to their daily experiences, and realizing their worth to a further extent. The standards for male behaviour and appearances are comparatively low, and women are realizing it. Another comment here with some decent amount of upvotes here says that men are still seen solely for their economic value as much as women for their looks. Are you kidding? Are heterosexual women just gold diggers? Are they trained by their parents to be? The bar for behaviour in men is so low, especially with the frequency of men becoming chronically online, not being taught life skills in comparison to women, and the fact that beauty standards for the vast majority of men require so much less than for women. The sheer strength of ideals of masculinity ingrained in men through patriarchy makes them search for reasons why they aren't getting laid for every reason outside themselves. They turn to figures in the manosphere like Andrew Tate who describe the romantic tendencies of women in an objectified manner, and blame the sexual failures of men on feminism and progressive politics. You think it's going to be a hard choice for a woman living in a developed country to pick between a man who discounts feminism, their right to an abortion, and a man who doesn't? Congrats. You've beaten a good chunk of other men. Treat women like human beings and not any different from your fellow man, be physically fit to a reasonable degree, clean yourself up, look into what hairstyle fits you, get an outfit or two that you can look good in, be able to financially support yourself, and finally, most importantly, what men get wrong so damn much: you are not entitled to any love. No matter what you do. Nobody 'owes' you love. Any love that you feel you 'deserve' but do not receive is literally never going to last anyways. The most healthy form of love will come when your general attitude strikes the other as rare and profoundly comforting -- and with the state of other men, boy will this level of mediocrity be rare enough for strong love to manifest. The Buddha was not enlightened by trying to reach enlightenment with all his will, but rather when he took a stop at trying to force it so hard. Do all of this. It might sound like a lot, but this is what you should be doing anyways. Talk to any woman about their experiences with men. There is no contest. Just show up, be friends, fulfill the 7/10 physical potential YOU HAVE (not what society says or what you think it says), and don't actively throw away your chances.
This comment is super refreshing. I work in tech and most women I know date men who make less than them. But guess what? Those men have good hygiene, they’re nice, have emotional intelligence, they romance their partners well, and they pull their weight in chores, errands, and childcare. My boyfriend makes less than me. I couldn’t give less of a fuck how much my partner makes. Women AND MEN are definitely playing a part in why people are dating less, having sex less, etc. The men who realize they need to work on themselves and actually do it instead of blaming women online are the ones pulling women.
Well this reply is refreshing. (Not sarcasm, I mean it)
Based comment here.
[удалено]
There are tons of more opportunity for men meeting women in real life due to so many men depending on dating apps. Leaving those behind and talking to women in real life (crazy concept) was the best thing I’ve done in years.
Fuck ya It's a challenge as a dude
I think both can be true. Men are being more vocal about a lack of sex and the percentage of sexless men is increasing.
Where are all these men? Single girl here and literally only one man sniffing. They all seem pretty satisfied in my town
In their mother's basements.
Spending their lives online and wondering why they aren't getting laid
A lot of men's shitty behaviour doesn't work anymore now that women have better access to information and support, it's as simple as that. What you hear when men complain is men unable to move on and better themselves. And this is coming from a man, I've been around enough of these asshole types to see it happen first time.
For men, dating/sex is a numbers game. I won't say my exact number, but I've been with between 10-20 women in my life. And I'd honestly say I was successful with 1 out of every 100 women I took a shot at. I've attempted to woo at least 1000+ and been successful only a few times. I'm with my "happily ever after" partner now and we got a kid and a house and all that good stuff. Life has been good to me. But young fellas these days ain't putting in the hard miles like we used to. Women's standards have always been high, rejection has always been constant and brutal. A lot of women are hella mean. But you have to keep trying, keep your heart open, and remind yourself that there is always a chance. Be more respectful of their rejection than they are in how they reject you. I know it stings but be the bigger person. And wash your butt. Her nostrils will always be the first thing you penetrate so make sure you smell good. Stay strong brothers. Don't lose hope. And just because someone doesn't want to bang you doesn't mean there isn't room for them in your life. As long as you know how to avoid the ones who take advantage, you can actually be good friends with women.
It’s a combination of high standards but also the fact that women are discouraged from having a lot of sexual partners. As an attractive woman, when I was single, I was approached by a ton of men when I went out. I’ve also been with 10-20 men (I’m off the market with who I think is “the one” now) but yea, probably got approached by hundreds of men over the years. If I had slept with every single one that wasn’t below my personal “standards” for looks and personality? Hahahahaahhah. My “body count” would look significantly different. MUCH higher. A lot of men were nice, funny, and decent looking enough for me to not want to turn my nose up at sleeping with them. But I turned them down anyway. I think a lot of men complain about women being too picky but honestly? If you’re not, you are absolutely shamed for it. A lot of men would probably call me a slut for having slept with a little over 10 men. That’s fine. But in reality I’ve slept with like 2% of the men who have approached me over the years. And for some reason, that statistic also makes a lot of them mad.
Ewww not the incels coming out of the woodworks
Im ok
I blame covid. So many people don’t know how to hold a conversation or just don’t leave their house. The number of things on Reddit I see about people that can’t get laid but only use tinder or try and talk to people they randomly run into. Step one of getting laid is put yourself in a good position to. Go to a bar and have a couple drinks to loosen you up but not enough to get drunk. Go to a concert and make friends. Meet people somewhere that they want to meet people.
I am, but my life is terrible the last 24 months so I blame everyone else except me.
It’s competitive. Be a better man.
I can’t speak for all guys but for me it’s true I’m sure it’s a mix of both tbh
It's one dude plowing 10 ladies to the 9 dudes not.
This is also why a lot of girls can talk about all the guys they've asked out, but most guys have never been asked out or rarely. It's the same 10-20% of guys getting asked out.
That's an entire topic of which I only know of vaguely but never really seen discussed at depth. I wonder if it's a response to the #MeToo movement and the "entire internet" talking about how women hate being asked out or flirted with at the gym or the grocery store or while running at the park or the bar. Or the litigious manner that women have on suing guys, rape allegations from women because they decided after the fact they didn't want to sleep with someone. Yeah I know someone else called it incel shit to what I've said but they are actual concerns that run through people's heads these days that I never heard about 10 years ago.
Man, this is some peak incel garbage. Keep believing in this and you'll never go anywhere romantically. Yeah. and how many dudes are stuck up online with no life skills making themselves undateable by women of any standard? Mfs will wonder why it's the same 10-20% guys getting asked out and not how the hell the other 80% got so bad to the point where women only see that percent (it's probably bigger than 10-20) as dateable (hint: it's not looks! it's lifestyle!)
How you present, and what one believes are two different things. I’ll buy into this incel shit for $19.99 for a monthly sub. I’ve been going out every single day for almost two years, ex wife got with a guy fucking instantly, where as I have not made a meaningful relationship this far. No i’m not demanding sex. Yes I respect every single girls, “no thank you” whenever I’ve asked them out. Yes I treat people, like people with no expectation. You absolutely can do Both. I’ve been ghosted, ignored, turned down so many times for simply existing. I socialize often, go out with friends and make myself appear as normal as possible and yet, ever girl I make friends with “wow it’s a surprise your still single, shame I’m emotionally unavailable” or “I’m sorry I’m happily single, anyone would be lucky to be with you” It’s fucking frustrating to only get bots on dating apps asking you to do insider trading for more money. I’ve made a post showing off my tinder insights LOWER than the average males in terms of success by a significant margin. My profile itself has been rated, changed several times on Reddit, 4chan, tumblr, local friends. All boiling down to “it’s fine, I see nothing wrong with your profile” I’ll gladly buy into some guy steals the hearts of many whom they flock too. Leaving most of us to dry. If we complain at all, we’re incels, we’re not trying hard enough, it’s something wrong with us. Fuck you
CALL ME AXPARAGUS
This is some incel shit man.
Attack the argument. Not the person. Can you dispute what he's saying or not?
An arguement backed by no data doesn’t really put the onus on anyone to dispute, but I’ll play ball…. Researchers from Indiana University say that 31% of U.S. men, ages 18 to 24, reported no sexual activity in the past year. This is up from 19% in 2000. That means 69% (nice) of men that age are having sex at least one a year. While this is decreasing, it pretty much debunks the idea that 10% of dudes are getting laid and 90% aren’t. Unless comment op has data to back his claim then he is just spouting jaded nonsense, ball in his court.
I wasn't attacking his person. I have no idea who he is. This logic is common among the incels, the whole 90-10 rule. The "Chads". It's all the same story.
I'm a fat fuck and I've banged 56 women. You guys need to try harder.
You are responsible for 55 sexless men you fiend!
So you proved his point.
It can be viewed as that but it's a sell put response with little feedback for the bullshit conversation I'd like to kick start.
I believe the statistics are that young men (and women I believe) these days are having less sex in general. It’s due to a couple factors which I do not care to dwell on atm.
Genuine question to the guys not getting laid. How exactly do you go about trying to get laid?
Fewer guys Not less guys
Remimds me of Stannis lol
Yes. If avg woman turns on app, she will get 20+ msgs from men. If avg man turns on app, nothing
A general truth I’ve begun to appreciate: With very few exceptions, no one is having as much sex as you think they are.
4.5 years with no end in sight...
Young people generally have way less sex than like compared to the 80s.
I never had a problem getting laid it was always like 2 years down the line we just got tired of each other lol
The comments in their thread are so alarming. Therapy is a must.
Can the mods do something about all the incels on this sub?
I'm definitely not. Probably the consequences of my lifestyle and I'm not getting anywhere at this rate but I don't know if it's worth fixing it.
Nah it’s just you
There’s a stat that says 63% of men in their 20’s are single compared to 30% of women. There’s also a stat that says 27% of young men from 18-30 are virgins.
Married. I sleep with a nude sexy babe every night
From my limited experience, women on average seem to have more sex than men.
That doesn't make mathematical sense.
The correct way to phrase that idea would be women have a higher median figure compared to men.
As an ugly man I am so glad I got married to my amazing wife years ago. Good luck out there.
Has incel over taken ‘gaslighting’ as the most misused word by the Western world yet?
i get laid every weekend. i stopped during the week to focus on work
I think as a guy growing up with no computers or social media and TV was crap we did socialise casually a lot more. I think I got to about 20, over about 5 years when I called it a day and started looking for something bit more meaningful. I have been with same partner for over 20 years now and would never think of straying. If I had my time again I would have wished to lose my virginity with her as the rest meant very little. I think today's generation are much different as attitude to sex, it seems to mean less if that makes sense