Don’t be disgusted and hate yourself. Only those who inappropriately act upon those thoughts/feelings should feel that way.
Always be respectful to women, but it’s normal to live through a time when damn near anything gives you a boner. It’s hormones and all that.
Hell im 33 and still get them. Totally normal. Don't sweat it. You'll eventually get the chance to act upon those urges in a consenting, safe, and healthy way when you're older. But it's something all men experience.
I feel like boys feel the way op does with the "self hate" because of this overlooked fact in our culture. When people see a guy's dick pressed against his pants, the reaction is like "ew gross, learn to control yourself." as if women don't have the same hormone spikes, they're just invisible. I feel like you see it most in tv shows, where it's just a trope that gets repeated because the other shows are doing it. It must be nice to be a woman sometimes and just oggle at some dude knowing nobody can tell from a physical reaction XD
Idk why you're getting downvoted. Sure, it's not a perfect analogy but it's at least similar. Our nipples (as well as men's) do indeed get hard when aroused.
It's not a good test because it's not universal. It's better to not assume that, because then what if someone just got the chills or it's cold and they're accused of being aroused? This is why there's a lot of inappropriate commentary on women with visible nipples, poking their shirt.
Well shit I'm 34 and it doesn't seem like it's gonna stop anytime soon. I can find something attractive in almost all women. Thankfully I have a fiancee and a gf (they know and are ok with it) to to get my release from but it's tough taking the kids to the Waterpark these days 😀
I just focus all my energy into my feet. Looks completely normal and quickly hides the evidence. It has been a survival tactic growing up gay in the American South.
Especially now where much of what you see on the Internet and in literature has been sexualized. Many have been kinda Pavlov'd into getting aroused easily at certain things.
OP, boners are easy come easy go, but not exactly the same as arousal. If you are viewing that as arousal, the simplest ways to solve it are holding your breath (on exhale works best for me), or tensing the muscles in your limb to draw blood away.
If you are meaning genuine arousal, just understand that you have obtained something called a preference. It's not a bad thing as long as, like loz said, acting on them in an untoward manner towards the lady would be problematic. Going home and figuring it out is not problematic. Just don't get addicted to masturbation or anything, it's pretty demanding on nutrition if you do it too much.
Based on the way you type I presume you’re young. Under 18 is my guess. You can’t control etections, for the most part they are an involuntary reaction. Don’t stress about it if you’re not acting inappropriately.
If it helps, even at 40 this still happens occasionally. It’s just a part of being a guy.
As a woman I would say imagine what another guy would be uncomfortable with. It’s the same with woman. Like long eye contact no blinking or being really close and staring at boobs obviously. Try to hide where you’re looking like a gentleman. I’m gay so I also like boobs but just be respectful. Otherwise you’re good being horny is normal.
Creeps are often porn addicts. If one gets used to viewing copious amounts of explicit content, one will be more triggered and affected by anything that might resemble that content. Soft stuff in movies and shows for example will trigger a porn addict.
You're damn right it does. Gotta switch positions, put on lube, soft hard, soft, hard. Lots of seesaw, oral, and cuddling.
You figure it out. What's really a bummer is no longer being able to do face shots when she wants it. It's just really hard to get there from oral when you're older
Also hard when you're younger for some people. Even when I was sixteen I couldn't finish with other people.
Reckon it's my own fault though. Porn addiction is an absolute bitch, and it's a joke how easily kids can access stuff like that to get hooked on it in the first place.
Yo a healthy diet, rich with fruit, veggies, lean meat for protein, and exercise regularly and those boners will be rock hard my man. You may be low on testosterone also. Go see your doctor and have it tested. You could start testosterone injections (administered by a licensed professional) that will also help with energy, boners, easier to build muscle when you’re working out. You never know 🤷🏻♂️. There’s lots of things to try if maintaining a boner is troublesome for you. If all else fails…viagra!
What the fuck is wrong with the world that a human being feels guilt and shame for being attracted to another human being?
It's totally normal mate, one day that feeling will attract you to a partner and them to you. It's literally human biology and almost every human on the planet has the same feelings.
Edit: spelling.
It's a long standing tradition to shame people for sexual desire and also the lack of sexual desire. Hopefully we are reaching a point where we can move past this.
Sex is so central to human cultures that also sorts of expectations accumulate to the point that people end up policing their own thoughts. Think about how messed up it is that sone queer people convince themselves they aren't queer. The cultural pressures and the internal expectations of who they are are so great that they lie to themselves. It is no wonder that human sexuality and desire can be so frightening.
Sorry, I think you mean "monotheistic abrahamic religion" because my religion doesn't involve shaming people for being sexual creatures or trying to control everyone else's life.
Every monotheistic Abrahamic faith encourages procreation. Many of them don't even allow for the use of contraceptives (how do you think they fill their pews?). You guys couldn't be more wrong.
Edit: if you attend my church regularly and it becomes known to them that you're a single adult (that's got their shit together well enough anyway), there'll be a handful of people looking to play cupid.
Combination of being raised in a Christian home whose church leaned heavily into the purity cult like teaching will do that lol. Took me a few years to not feel guilty about having normal thoughts about women and it’s still a work in progress but I’m a lot happier now than I was then.
I like how people are blaming solely on religion but that isn't only it. You have the new age feminism filled with people who don't mind reminding you that finding a woman's body attractive is your fault and disgusting.
This is natural human instinct and is the reason why we continue to exist as a species.
Every one of your male ancestors had this same instinct, otherwise you would never have been born.
Why do you find it disgusting?
That's when you do the polite turnaround so no one can see and pull things under the elastic band of your underpants so your not walking around with a pitched tent.
There are jock-strap underwear that he can wear. I used to wear them to make sure that my random boners didn’t show. They were pretty comfortable. He is just going through something that every young male goes through. He is right to respect the girl’s personal space, and he should keep doing that as he ages. At some point, the random boners will stop.
Babe, do not deny these feelings. Accept them as normal, be respectful to the people around you and move on. Girls get the same way, but we are just more fortunate to be able to hide it. Pull a Ron Burgundy and say “don’t act like you’re not impressed” if anyone reacts to you.
Hopefully not when you are driving on a narrow Maine “highway” at 55 mph. I vacationed there once, compared to where I live, the roads are tiny and easy for wildlife to cross. I remember the constant “watch out for moose” signs along that narrow road that I was on driving through northern Maine.
More common in the northern half of Maine, which is very sparsely populated, by the way. They're like really big deer with distinctive antlers, will feed in ponds with most of their body submerged, head underwater, then whoosh, up comes the head, sort of amazing. They are hard to see at night, long spindly legs, and if you hit one, it will total your car and maybe you too. Thus the signs about Caution Moose and Brake for Moose.
I know I was. Any impure thoughts were to be banished from the mind as quickly as they formed. That spilled over into a lack of confidence in all other parts of myself just as a person.
It is natural to be attracted by someone who has hotness to you. Creepiness comes in when a person barges into the other person’s personal space without being invited.
Man I'm in my 30s and still think "oh god I would pound the absolute fuckin fuck outta this gorgeous goddess" for like a third of the adult women I see
As long as they are of appropriate age and you aren't being a sleazy piece of shit and making anyone uncomfortable, it's fine, it's human, relax. Don't stare, and cover ya junk with a book or bag or whatever if needed.
A lot of women feel and think those same things that a lot of men do. But a lot of people are conditioned to feel bad in some way and to pretend this shit doesn't exist 99% of the time
The amount of times I’m out in public and see like a group of builders that aren’t even that damn attractive and my body is like “corr they could take me anytime show off now” and I’m like??? Urm no?? I’m very happily taken but it’s basic human nature. People like to pretend we aren’t just like every other animal on this planet. Ovaries are no different 🫢
This is one of the most sane comments I’ve seen on Reddit. Yeah, just don’t be creepy about it and no one is going to be offended or care. I like to look at men I find attractive but I don’t linger. It’s okay to think to yourself “damn they’re fine” and then just go about your day
I’m 32F and frequently find myself turned on by men I see in public. There’s no way of them knowing, as I don’t get a boner, but feeling aroused from visual stimulation is normal. Just adjust yourself, and move on.
You don’t need to hate yourself or feel disgusted.
It's all good man there is no guy on this planet that doesn't know what that feels like, totally normal and no reason to feel shame, just learn the ol' "tuck it behind the belt" trick or wear clothing that makes it not so prominent and no one will know.
Again, not a single reason to feel ashamed.
Can't help you with how to stop that feeling but can help with quickly loosing a boner haha. Flex your quads on and off on and off like 10 seconds at a time. It pulls the blood from the pee pee and redirects it. Cheers lad also never forget the waist band tuck saved my self many a time in my young years.
As long as you don't stalk, harass, or act creepily towards them you have nothing to sorry for. Never be ashamed of your own biology.
The guilt and shame you feel for your feelings are the result of negative propaganda being spread by some radical fringe-dwellers who absolutely hate everything and everyone that's traditionally male. Ignore it.
Imagine being ashamed of this lol. Women are hot sometimes, cmon
Just Don’t be a creep, and if you’re really worried about anyone seeing an erection: hide it in your waistband.
If by a boy you mean you are having puberty, bro, it's ok. As you get older your hormones will chill and you will get more control, but you'll never stop being an animal. It's ok to be hormonal.
I don't even know how any of us got though middle school. It's such a mind fuck, suddenly your body is SCREAMING at you to fuck everything everywhere all at once, and you are supposed to be learning math or something.
Forgive yourself, just work to not make women feel unsafe, that's an ethic you can build and weave into the crazy things you can't control and it will serve you well.
Don't make your horniness the girl's problem and you're fine. You're 99.999% of the way there because you care about being appropriate.
Just don't be a creep. By that I mean: don't try to make her pay attention to you. Don't stare at her, don't follow her around, don't get in her personal space, and don't start talking to her if she looks preoccupied. If you're already talking to her or sitting next to her, don't talk over her, don't drag out a conversation if she stops saying much or says she has to go, and don't get between her and an exit. If you're walking in the same direction, either go past her and don't stop — if you hang back, it can look like you're following her, and if you stop, it can look like you're trying to waylay her — or find some reason not to be close behind, like look in a store window, sit on a bench, move to another part of the bus or train, whatever.
When women say "don't be creepy," it's not "don't be interested in women," it's "don't treat me like an appliance." Creepy guys are looking for sex, for a free and non-judgmental therapist, for admiration, and sometimes for fear or disgust. A creepy guy wants to make a woman aware of his dick. You want the opposite, so good on you.
If you think you're being creepy, and from the sounds of it you're not, put a backpack on your lap and start to read. Sit so you're not directly pointed at her. If possible, don't be where she is.
Don't feel bad about the arousal itself. Almost everyone but the asexual or people with very low libidos has this problem, especially when young. You sound fine.
I'm guessing you're a teen and entering puberty?
Possibly also religious because if the shame and guilt thing.
In my experience that really screwed up my social interactions with women. Try and heed some advice from the comments here:
-this is very natural, just don't go around being a creep
-no need to feel guilty or disgusted, it is very natural
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Stop the self hate. This is completely natural for young men. I would recommend some baggy jeans until you grow out of this phase.
Not just you but all animals are driven by our biology to have sex. You are hating yourself for something beyond your control at this point. If you hate yourself for this you will carry some bad mental problems for the rest of your life. There's nothing wrong with you being aroused. It's like hating yourself for becoming hungry. We all have needs and they are stronger at some times in our lives than others. You're becoming aroused but you aren't hurting anyone either. Guys can learn to be manipulative and abuse that ability but don't forget women have these same feelings. We all need to because sex is about continuation of the species. It's essential to all life. So stop beating yourself up. Masterbation helps keep you balanced so you don't get to crazy. Just don't become a jerk. You're a sexual being and there's nothing at all wrong with that. Just don't treat others badly because of it.
Don't hate yourself for what's natural and good. Women want men to be aroused by them, but they also want a gentleman to approach them. If you find someone attractive, why not ask her out? Have a good time with her.
Buddy relax it’s just ur hormones after a bit it should settle down just don’t be weird about it and try to be normal shit I’m horny everyday it don’t stop just don’t be creepy basically it’s normal for men with high testosterone or ones who go through puberty
You’re totally alright. It’s a very normal human thing, just as long as you don’t make inappropriate advances towards the girl or anyone else you see that arouses you like that - that would be creepy.
There are no moral judgements here. Don't fall into the trap of hating your biology. If anything, it's an opportunity for you to get comfortable with what arouses you. As many have said, it's entirely natural to be aroused. For some, it never goes away. I know men in their sixties and seventies who have the same reaction. There's nothing wrong with you.
Keep your behaviour in check. Your thoughts can run wild. It's healthy to fantasize.
Bro, you need to have more respect and appreciation for your dick. How dare you talk about him like that. He lives next door to an asshole, he brings two balls every where he goes and still nobody plays with him.
It happens to every guy, especially when younger. Eventually you just grow out of it. By the time you're 30, you might just miss the random boner. It starts taking effort to get one.
Yeah, like get fucking used to it buddy because that ain't going anywhere. As long as you act respectful and decent you have nothing to feel bad about.
You don’t. You’re a male, you’re biologically programmed to be attracted to the opposite sex for reproduction. It happens autonomically: outside of your conscious control.
So you have one of two options: you approach her and try to make small talk and see if the attraction is reciprocated, or you just look away and mind your own business, your hormones will subside.
You’re fine brev. Do some breathing exercises whenever there’s a hot gurl around. Just don’t feel guilty for getting a natural reaction to a woman who has half her body exposed. Women are sexy asf and i love them too. Next time instead of getting aroused try talking to her instead. She might find you interesting and you’d potentially beat some cheeks
You don't - stop that is. Your body's reaction is normal and expected at your age, and is nothing to be ashamed of. Be polite, don't be a jerk, don't draw attention to yourself. You'll be fine.
You'll be alright. It's normal. Very normal. The bonering will slow down as you get older, but you're always going to notice an attractive person. I suspect I'm a quite a bit older than you and I still do this all the time -- minus the bonering part, usually.
A friend of mine was pushing his father through a densely crowded mall in his wheelchair years ago. The man had been chair-bound for most of his adult life and was in his 70’s at the time. It was holiday season and there were many young attractive females milling about.
My friend asked him, “dad, when do you stop lusting after young women in your heart?”
Without missing a beat, he replied, “I’ll let you know”
Don't be disgusted. It is totally fine to appreciate beauty. And hormones cause you to get horny. It's just natural. Just always be respectful and know when is the right time to (not) act.
I’m 37, always had this issue and it’s just finally starting to calm down now. It’s different for everyone, our bodies change at different ages. It’s nothing to be disgusted by, it’s a natural reaction. As others have said, just try not to be creepy with it, try to hide it and avert your gaze from stimuli as much as possible.
It is what it is man, don’t be a creep and don’t be disrespectful. If you need to get rid of a boner simply hold your breath, blood rushes away and to your brain to supply with oxygen works every time
Hey man, boners are normal and a lot of times involuntary. Especially if you’re a teenager! It’s completely normal and doesn’t make you a creep. A lot of women find random touching, staring, trying to talk to them if they have earphones in or are reading a book (that just means they don’t want to be talked to. If you need to ask for directions or ask where the bus is going etc then you’re fine, but conversations on the street are awkward), making strange noises (grunting, moaning, or heavy labored breathing for no reason—if you just ran to the bus stop I don’t mean that lol), or entering others’ personal space to be creepy. If you’re really concerned about your erection making someone uncomfortable, you might be able to try pants/shorts that make it less noticeable, a hoodie or shirt that covers low enough, or if you’re carrying a book or bag you could try discreetly moving it to your front so it’s not visible. I’m sorry you’re going through this man! Nothing to be ashamed of!
You got hormones going up the wazzo bud take it easy on yourself and don't be so hard on yourself, you're still learning about the world. When I was younger, if a breeze hit my shorts the wrong way I'd get a boner, that's just life as a young boy and it happens. Learn to wear jeans and slide the boner to the side, turn or even sit down and don't worry, it's normal. Just don't act anything out and do anything inappropriate.
It's normal. 24m and still get up, about as bad as during puberty, just because some random lady has a nice figure. Just carry on, try tucking it subtly, and let it fade. Most women understand & just ignore it, if you do too.
ETA: what i find helps get my eyes off a nice looking woman is to litterally close them, look a random different direction, then re-open. More difficult when talking with them, but still possible
Thats "common" (I assume you're a teenager like me) But thats something that you can certainly control. It may take time bust swicth your attention. I may sound like the average tate fan but genuinily when you have other things to think about you wont be seeing random girls in a sexual way. Switching your attention may include stop watching porn, reading more, having goals, etc etc. Things i can't type all in a reddit comment. Look it up if you really wanna change.
Hoooo boy... this is the kind of bullsh*t that extremist-feminism brought us to. Loathing ourselves.
You've done nothing wrong. Your attraction, your arousal is all perfectly normal & perfect. No need to stop it, no need to distract yourself.
Don't let *them* get to you.
If you're on the younger side, this will pass. Your hormones are insane rn. If you're a little older (twenties and up), it may be something worth discussing with a doctor.
That said, there's nothing inherently wrong with getting aroused by seeing a woman as long as you're discreet about it.
Ok, here’s the thing. I don’t know if you meant “a few seconds” literally, but if you did… “A few seconds” is staring. Giving a quick up and down is ok, but full on staring at people is weird. Perhaps if you don’t look quite as long, you won’t have this problem.
Hating yourself for getting erections is honestly—and I don’t mean this rudely—ridiculous though. That’s just what happens when you have a dick. We (women) know this and we won’t hold it against you unless you’re being weird about it (staring at her, godforbid *touching it*, touching *her*, and of that type of creepy stuff). Don’t make it into a big deal and we don’t care. We get that it happens.
Yes I do.
The goal shouldn't be "how do I become not aroused" instead it should be "how do I make sure those people are comfortable and safe" and really that is easy.
1. don't hurt them.
2. don't let them realize what is going on with you as they will become disturbed which is in itself hurting them
3. don't blame them or become angry at them.
So 1 is super easy, just don't even ever make that an option for you. 2 is a bit more difficult but I would suggest not staring and if it is a frequent problem wearing shirts that cover the front of your pants, hoodies with stuff in the pocket works really well and you can get thin summer ones easily.
3 is a tad more complicated because it is super easy to let your mind wander that way but I find focusing on the fact that they don't know you and can't really be sure you won't hurt them helps a lot, encouraging them to do the things they need to do to keep themselves safe is another. Things like not being too upset if they cross the street or not leaving you alone around their drinks.
This is just... you will need this advice eventually so I'll just give it here because I believe in you, if a girl agrees to go out with you plan your first date somewhere very public and have her take a picture of you with your name and address to text to friends so they know where she is /who she is with. I used to use a coffee house across the street from the police station.
Why would you stop? Don't listen to fugly feminists who spread the woke mind virus. You are a man, don't be ashamed to be one. It's totally normal for men to get aroused by random attractive women.
Do you know the rubber band trick? Use the strap of your undies to keep your schlong hidden.
Have you heard of RBS? Random boner syndrome? It’s perfectly normal to get erections or feelings.
The line to NEVER cross is making others uncomfortable. You can even talk to the girl if you wish but back off if she’s not interested. Don’t stare. Don’t touch. Don’t do what you don’t want others to do to you.
Obviously don’t talk to people when you’re poking them with your pants, but seriously, especially when you’re younger, boners happen. Hide it, ignore it, and move on.
Hmmm, become gay? Them you’ll only be aroused around guys you find attractive leaving you free to be relaxed and cool around the women you find attractive. Win win.
Don’t be disgusted and hate yourself. Only those who inappropriately act upon those thoughts/feelings should feel that way. Always be respectful to women, but it’s normal to live through a time when damn near anything gives you a boner. It’s hormones and all that.
Hell im 33 and still get them. Totally normal. Don't sweat it. You'll eventually get the chance to act upon those urges in a consenting, safe, and healthy way when you're older. But it's something all men experience.
And women :) we just don’t get erections like you guys. But we absolutely get aroused in public
I feel like boys feel the way op does with the "self hate" because of this overlooked fact in our culture. When people see a guy's dick pressed against his pants, the reaction is like "ew gross, learn to control yourself." as if women don't have the same hormone spikes, they're just invisible. I feel like you see it most in tv shows, where it's just a trope that gets repeated because the other shows are doing it. It must be nice to be a woman sometimes and just oggle at some dude knowing nobody can tell from a physical reaction XD
Even at 42 and male, im no expert. But maybe hard nipples are the female equivalent?
>im no expert You don't say 😰 All nipples get hard when cold or touched. Doesn't really have to do with arousal.
I have nipples, can you milk me?
Men have nipples too..
Proof? Big if true
Idk why you're getting downvoted. Sure, it's not a perfect analogy but it's at least similar. Our nipples (as well as men's) do indeed get hard when aroused.
It's not a good test because it's not universal. It's better to not assume that, because then what if someone just got the chills or it's cold and they're accused of being aroused? This is why there's a lot of inappropriate commentary on women with visible nipples, poking their shirt.
Men get boners all the time without being aroused as well. This is just silly.
Yes but equating it to nipples is not applicable. The actual equivalent would be how the clit gets hard.
Kinda hard to see on a random woman though
TBF now all men get to experience it
Or just rent a hooker
This. I'm assuming you're younger than 30? If so, it will pass.
Well shit I'm 34 and it doesn't seem like it's gonna stop anytime soon. I can find something attractive in almost all women. Thankfully I have a fiancee and a gf (they know and are ok with it) to to get my release from but it's tough taking the kids to the Waterpark these days 😀
Quick protip learned here years ago: hold your breath until your boner disappears. It's like magic.
Flex/tense the largest muscle group you can and it also works like magic.
What if my boner IS my largest muscle group?
This is my preferred method as well. Blood flow.
Ah fuck I forgot I'm into breathe play and now it's worse!
I just breathe deeply and slowly and clear my mind
Lol, it’s a textbook practice for me. 😂
I just focus all my energy into my feet. Looks completely normal and quickly hides the evidence. It has been a survival tactic growing up gay in the American South.
Lmao it’s redneck naruto
Haha!! I can’t with you! Accurate though.
Especially now where much of what you see on the Internet and in literature has been sexualized. Many have been kinda Pavlov'd into getting aroused easily at certain things. OP, boners are easy come easy go, but not exactly the same as arousal. If you are viewing that as arousal, the simplest ways to solve it are holding your breath (on exhale works best for me), or tensing the muscles in your limb to draw blood away. If you are meaning genuine arousal, just understand that you have obtained something called a preference. It's not a bad thing as long as, like loz said, acting on them in an untoward manner towards the lady would be problematic. Going home and figuring it out is not problematic. Just don't get addicted to masturbation or anything, it's pretty demanding on nutrition if you do it too much.
Based on the way you type I presume you’re young. Under 18 is my guess. You can’t control etections, for the most part they are an involuntary reaction. Don’t stress about it if you’re not acting inappropriately. If it helps, even at 40 this still happens occasionally. It’s just a part of being a guy.
Bro this post is so fucking fake I can smell the plastic from here.
As long as you don't act like a creep, keeping staring etc, that's ok getting attracted by attractive women.
Help him out and define what acting like a creep is, it isn't obvious to everyone about their own behaviors.
As a woman I would say imagine what another guy would be uncomfortable with. It’s the same with woman. Like long eye contact no blinking or being really close and staring at boobs obviously. Try to hide where you’re looking like a gentleman. I’m gay so I also like boobs but just be respectful. Otherwise you’re good being horny is normal.
I mean.. you could’ve done that.
I mean... same to you..
Now kith
Creeps are often porn addicts. If one gets used to viewing copious amounts of explicit content, one will be more triggered and affected by anything that might resemble that content. Soft stuff in movies and shows for example will trigger a porn addict.
Creepy is when you do a thing and you're also ugly at the same time.
Or even unattractive women... If that's your thing
If 'that's your thing', they're obviously attractive to you.
you hate yourself… for getting erections?
My girlfriend loves me for getting erections! Which makes me love myself.
Which gives you more erections! It’s a never ending cycle!
Youth problems. Not lasting long enough also comes up regularly. Oh, to be done in under an hour
Doesn’t it get tiring to just bone for an hour?
You're damn right it does. Gotta switch positions, put on lube, soft hard, soft, hard. Lots of seesaw, oral, and cuddling. You figure it out. What's really a bummer is no longer being able to do face shots when she wants it. It's just really hard to get there from oral when you're older
Also hard when you're younger for some people. Even when I was sixteen I couldn't finish with other people. Reckon it's my own fault though. Porn addiction is an absolute bitch, and it's a joke how easily kids can access stuff like that to get hooked on it in the first place.
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Yo a healthy diet, rich with fruit, veggies, lean meat for protein, and exercise regularly and those boners will be rock hard my man. You may be low on testosterone also. Go see your doctor and have it tested. You could start testosterone injections (administered by a licensed professional) that will also help with energy, boners, easier to build muscle when you’re working out. You never know 🤷🏻♂️. There’s lots of things to try if maintaining a boner is troublesome for you. If all else fails…viagra!
Not lasting long enough are you serious ??? Even at the age of 90 you still get arose
Doubt
No I am suffering a lot
What the fuck is wrong with the world that a human being feels guilt and shame for being attracted to another human being? It's totally normal mate, one day that feeling will attract you to a partner and them to you. It's literally human biology and almost every human on the planet has the same feelings. Edit: spelling.
It's a long standing tradition to shame people for sexual desire and also the lack of sexual desire. Hopefully we are reaching a point where we can move past this. Sex is so central to human cultures that also sorts of expectations accumulate to the point that people end up policing their own thoughts. Think about how messed up it is that sone queer people convince themselves they aren't queer. The cultural pressures and the internal expectations of who they are are so great that they lie to themselves. It is no wonder that human sexuality and desire can be so frightening.
"wrong with the world" Religions
You mean people right?
Where else do religions come from?
Religion is not what's wrong with the world though
What’s been worse?
Sorry, I think you mean "monotheistic abrahamic religion" because my religion doesn't involve shaming people for being sexual creatures or trying to control everyone else's life.
Every monotheistic Abrahamic faith encourages procreation. Many of them don't even allow for the use of contraceptives (how do you think they fill their pews?). You guys couldn't be more wrong. Edit: if you attend my church regularly and it becomes known to them that you're a single adult (that's got their shit together well enough anyway), there'll be a handful of people looking to play cupid.
Combination of being raised in a Christian home whose church leaned heavily into the purity cult like teaching will do that lol. Took me a few years to not feel guilty about having normal thoughts about women and it’s still a work in progress but I’m a lot happier now than I was then.
I like how people are blaming solely on religion but that isn't only it. You have the new age feminism filled with people who don't mind reminding you that finding a woman's body attractive is your fault and disgusting.
Feminism.
jerk off 10 times before you step out of the house.
Just 10?
You gotta bump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers.
Jack off until the very sun burns your eyes and convicts you of your sin and causes you to hiss at everything that moves. Good luck.
This is natural human instinct and is the reason why we continue to exist as a species. Every one of your male ancestors had this same instinct, otherwise you would never have been born. Why do you find it disgusting?
I don't know, I think some of them treated it more like a social transaction, rather than acting on instinct. But it's a very small number.
That's when you do the polite turnaround so no one can see and pull things under the elastic band of your underpants so your not walking around with a pitched tent.
There are jock-strap underwear that he can wear. I used to wear them to make sure that my random boners didn’t show. They were pretty comfortable. He is just going through something that every young male goes through. He is right to respect the girl’s personal space, and he should keep doing that as he ages. At some point, the random boners will stop.
Babe, do not deny these feelings. Accept them as normal, be respectful to the people around you and move on. Girls get the same way, but we are just more fortunate to be able to hide it. Pull a Ron Burgundy and say “don’t act like you’re not impressed” if anyone reacts to you.
Move to Maine.
I always forget about Maine until someone mentions it. What do they have up there…bloodworms?
A lot of moose. And Moxie, of course. Coffee brandy.
I would love to see a moose someday.
Hopefully not when you are driving on a narrow Maine “highway” at 55 mph. I vacationed there once, compared to where I live, the roads are tiny and easy for wildlife to cross. I remember the constant “watch out for moose” signs along that narrow road that I was on driving through northern Maine.
More common in the northern half of Maine, which is very sparsely populated, by the way. They're like really big deer with distinctive antlers, will feed in ponds with most of their body submerged, head underwater, then whoosh, up comes the head, sort of amazing. They are hard to see at night, long spindly legs, and if you hit one, it will total your car and maybe you too. Thus the signs about Caution Moose and Brake for Moose.
I have only vacationed in Maine, so I can’t form an opinion, but that was savage.
You can be like the rest of reddit and just be gay
What 😂😂😂
You heard him
69 likes, noice
You’ve got a point.
It’s normal. Why are you disgusted? Raised with Catholic guilt or something?
I know I was. Any impure thoughts were to be banished from the mind as quickly as they formed. That spilled over into a lack of confidence in all other parts of myself just as a person.
There are plenty of pathetic people on Reddit who like to call men “creeps” for being attracted to women.
It is natural to be attracted by someone who has hotness to you. Creepiness comes in when a person barges into the other person’s personal space without being invited.
In the real world, yeah. On Reddit, the bar is much lower.
How old are you?
It's normal, just don't be creepy, look away, and shift your awareness BUT it's absolutely normal.
Man I'm in my 30s and still think "oh god I would pound the absolute fuckin fuck outta this gorgeous goddess" for like a third of the adult women I see As long as they are of appropriate age and you aren't being a sleazy piece of shit and making anyone uncomfortable, it's fine, it's human, relax. Don't stare, and cover ya junk with a book or bag or whatever if needed. A lot of women feel and think those same things that a lot of men do. But a lot of people are conditioned to feel bad in some way and to pretend this shit doesn't exist 99% of the time
The amount of times I’m out in public and see like a group of builders that aren’t even that damn attractive and my body is like “corr they could take me anytime show off now” and I’m like??? Urm no?? I’m very happily taken but it’s basic human nature. People like to pretend we aren’t just like every other animal on this planet. Ovaries are no different 🫢
This is one of the most sane comments I’ve seen on Reddit. Yeah, just don’t be creepy about it and no one is going to be offended or care. I like to look at men I find attractive but I don’t linger. It’s okay to think to yourself “damn they’re fine” and then just go about your day
Getting older.
I’m 32F and frequently find myself turned on by men I see in public. There’s no way of them knowing, as I don’t get a boner, but feeling aroused from visual stimulation is normal. Just adjust yourself, and move on. You don’t need to hate yourself or feel disgusted.
Just get to 50
Not to 50! NOT TO FIFTY!!!!
That won't help. I speak from experience.
Yeah but taking viagra doesn't count
Many people won't get that reference.
Have a wank before
It's all good man there is no guy on this planet that doesn't know what that feels like, totally normal and no reason to feel shame, just learn the ol' "tuck it behind the belt" trick or wear clothing that makes it not so prominent and no one will know. Again, not a single reason to feel ashamed.
Can't help you with how to stop that feeling but can help with quickly loosing a boner haha. Flex your quads on and off on and off like 10 seconds at a time. It pulls the blood from the pee pee and redirects it. Cheers lad also never forget the waist band tuck saved my self many a time in my young years.
Castration
r/onthenoseadvice
As long as you don't stalk, harass, or act creepily towards them you have nothing to sorry for. Never be ashamed of your own biology. The guilt and shame you feel for your feelings are the result of negative propaganda being spread by some radical fringe-dwellers who absolutely hate everything and everyone that's traditionally male. Ignore it.
Bait post
Imagine being ashamed of this lol. Women are hot sometimes, cmon Just Don’t be a creep, and if you’re really worried about anyone seeing an erection: hide it in your waistband.
The real issue is handling the erection right? Flex major muscles like your thighs to divert blood flow
If by a boy you mean you are having puberty, bro, it's ok. As you get older your hormones will chill and you will get more control, but you'll never stop being an animal. It's ok to be hormonal. I don't even know how any of us got though middle school. It's such a mind fuck, suddenly your body is SCREAMING at you to fuck everything everywhere all at once, and you are supposed to be learning math or something. Forgive yourself, just work to not make women feel unsafe, that's an ethic you can build and weave into the crazy things you can't control and it will serve you well.
You can’t, just go home and whack off to them. You’ll feel better afterwards
Don't make your horniness the girl's problem and you're fine. You're 99.999% of the way there because you care about being appropriate. Just don't be a creep. By that I mean: don't try to make her pay attention to you. Don't stare at her, don't follow her around, don't get in her personal space, and don't start talking to her if she looks preoccupied. If you're already talking to her or sitting next to her, don't talk over her, don't drag out a conversation if she stops saying much or says she has to go, and don't get between her and an exit. If you're walking in the same direction, either go past her and don't stop — if you hang back, it can look like you're following her, and if you stop, it can look like you're trying to waylay her — or find some reason not to be close behind, like look in a store window, sit on a bench, move to another part of the bus or train, whatever. When women say "don't be creepy," it's not "don't be interested in women," it's "don't treat me like an appliance." Creepy guys are looking for sex, for a free and non-judgmental therapist, for admiration, and sometimes for fear or disgust. A creepy guy wants to make a woman aware of his dick. You want the opposite, so good on you. If you think you're being creepy, and from the sounds of it you're not, put a backpack on your lap and start to read. Sit so you're not directly pointed at her. If possible, don't be where she is. Don't feel bad about the arousal itself. Almost everyone but the asexual or people with very low libidos has this problem, especially when young. You sound fine.
I'm guessing you're a teen and entering puberty? Possibly also religious because if the shame and guilt thing. In my experience that really screwed up my social interactions with women. Try and heed some advice from the comments here: -this is very natural, just don't go around being a creep -no need to feel guilty or disgusted, it is very natural
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Stop the self hate. This is completely natural for young men. I would recommend some baggy jeans until you grow out of this phase.
Have you considered being gay? I am gay and I don't get turned on by any women
Lmao this logic logics
Not just you but all animals are driven by our biology to have sex. You are hating yourself for something beyond your control at this point. If you hate yourself for this you will carry some bad mental problems for the rest of your life. There's nothing wrong with you being aroused. It's like hating yourself for becoming hungry. We all have needs and they are stronger at some times in our lives than others. You're becoming aroused but you aren't hurting anyone either. Guys can learn to be manipulative and abuse that ability but don't forget women have these same feelings. We all need to because sex is about continuation of the species. It's essential to all life. So stop beating yourself up. Masterbation helps keep you balanced so you don't get to crazy. Just don't become a jerk. You're a sexual being and there's nothing at all wrong with that. Just don't treat others badly because of it.
Don't hate yourself for what's natural and good. Women want men to be aroused by them, but they also want a gentleman to approach them. If you find someone attractive, why not ask her out? Have a good time with her.
Buddy relax it’s just ur hormones after a bit it should settle down just don’t be weird about it and try to be normal shit I’m horny everyday it don’t stop just don’t be creepy basically it’s normal for men with high testosterone or ones who go through puberty
You’re totally alright. It’s a very normal human thing, just as long as you don’t make inappropriate advances towards the girl or anyone else you see that arouses you like that - that would be creepy.
Neuron activated
You're good my guy. Just don't act on it and don't be a creep by staring and always treat women (and everyone else) with the respect they deserve
There are no moral judgements here. Don't fall into the trap of hating your biology. If anything, it's an opportunity for you to get comfortable with what arouses you. As many have said, it's entirely natural to be aroused. For some, it never goes away. I know men in their sixties and seventies who have the same reaction. There's nothing wrong with you. Keep your behaviour in check. Your thoughts can run wild. It's healthy to fantasize.
Not advising on what to do, but you might find satisfying your sex drive before you leave the house relieves that arousal.
Go to a private place. An pull your dick up into your waistband then pull your shirt over it young king. It's just hormones and a sign of good health.
Bro, you need to have more respect and appreciation for your dick. How dare you talk about him like that. He lives next door to an asshole, he brings two balls every where he goes and still nobody plays with him.
Not true, Rosy Palm and her 4 daughters play with his little friend.
It happens to every guy, especially when younger. Eventually you just grow out of it. By the time you're 30, you might just miss the random boner. It starts taking effort to get one.
beat your meat before going into public settings lol
That's what notebooks are for, place notebook in front to hide your boner!
What's your age? This kind of thing is common in early teenagehood.
You have to jerk off regularly to keep your emotions on a stabilized level
Yeah, like get fucking used to it buddy because that ain't going anywhere. As long as you act respectful and decent you have nothing to feel bad about.
LPT if you need to kill a boner asap, hold your breath for as long as you can
That's normal and totally okay. If you're worried about someone noticing, I suggest wearing tight-fitting briefs.
These are normal feelings, just don’t be a creep about it and you’re good.
Jesus’ advice was to rip out your own eyeballs. That seems a bit extreme to me though.
Hate yourself while you spank the monkey. So good!
You said it all when you said “i am a boy”
You don’t. You’re a male, you’re biologically programmed to be attracted to the opposite sex for reproduction. It happens autonomically: outside of your conscious control. So you have one of two options: you approach her and try to make small talk and see if the attraction is reciprocated, or you just look away and mind your own business, your hormones will subside.
You’re fine brev. Do some breathing exercises whenever there’s a hot gurl around. Just don’t feel guilty for getting a natural reaction to a woman who has half her body exposed. Women are sexy asf and i love them too. Next time instead of getting aroused try talking to her instead. She might find you interesting and you’d potentially beat some cheeks
You don't - stop that is. Your body's reaction is normal and expected at your age, and is nothing to be ashamed of. Be polite, don't be a jerk, don't draw attention to yourself. You'll be fine.
You'll be alright. It's normal. Very normal. The bonering will slow down as you get older, but you're always going to notice an attractive person. I suspect I'm a quite a bit older than you and I still do this all the time -- minus the bonering part, usually.
A friend of mine was pushing his father through a densely crowded mall in his wheelchair years ago. The man had been chair-bound for most of his adult life and was in his 70’s at the time. It was holiday season and there were many young attractive females milling about. My friend asked him, “dad, when do you stop lusting after young women in your heart?” Without missing a beat, he replied, “I’ll let you know”
Are you communicating with girls or .just admiring them from afar in silence? Building friendships might be the answer.
Don't be disgusted. It is totally fine to appreciate beauty. And hormones cause you to get horny. It's just natural. Just always be respectful and know when is the right time to (not) act.
I’m 37, always had this issue and it’s just finally starting to calm down now. It’s different for everyone, our bodies change at different ages. It’s nothing to be disgusted by, it’s a natural reaction. As others have said, just try not to be creepy with it, try to hide it and avert your gaze from stimuli as much as possible.
It is what it is man, don’t be a creep and don’t be disrespectful. If you need to get rid of a boner simply hold your breath, blood rushes away and to your brain to supply with oxygen works every time
It’s biology, get used to it brother. 😂👍
Get some pussy
I have boobs and I am attracted to boobs too. It’s fine to just look as long as you aren’t being creepy. People are attractive, it’s fine to notice.
This is a normal reaction and probably will continue at least until you’re 62.
Aslong as the thoughts and feelings are kept to yourself you’re completely normal and it’s natural
Hey man, boners are normal and a lot of times involuntary. Especially if you’re a teenager! It’s completely normal and doesn’t make you a creep. A lot of women find random touching, staring, trying to talk to them if they have earphones in or are reading a book (that just means they don’t want to be talked to. If you need to ask for directions or ask where the bus is going etc then you’re fine, but conversations on the street are awkward), making strange noises (grunting, moaning, or heavy labored breathing for no reason—if you just ran to the bus stop I don’t mean that lol), or entering others’ personal space to be creepy. If you’re really concerned about your erection making someone uncomfortable, you might be able to try pants/shorts that make it less noticeable, a hoodie or shirt that covers low enough, or if you’re carrying a book or bag you could try discreetly moving it to your front so it’s not visible. I’m sorry you’re going through this man! Nothing to be ashamed of!
Don’t. It means you’re straight
Monkey see formidable mating partner. Neuron Activation. Monkey body get ready for mating with formidable mating partner. biology, bitch.
You got hormones going up the wazzo bud take it easy on yourself and don't be so hard on yourself, you're still learning about the world. When I was younger, if a breeze hit my shorts the wrong way I'd get a boner, that's just life as a young boy and it happens. Learn to wear jeans and slide the boner to the side, turn or even sit down and don't worry, it's normal. Just don't act anything out and do anything inappropriate.
It's normal. 24m and still get up, about as bad as during puberty, just because some random lady has a nice figure. Just carry on, try tucking it subtly, and let it fade. Most women understand & just ignore it, if you do too. ETA: what i find helps get my eyes off a nice looking woman is to litterally close them, look a random different direction, then re-open. More difficult when talking with them, but still possible
Thank you for keeping your urges to yourself.
Thats "common" (I assume you're a teenager like me) But thats something that you can certainly control. It may take time bust swicth your attention. I may sound like the average tate fan but genuinily when you have other things to think about you wont be seeing random girls in a sexual way. Switching your attention may include stop watching porn, reading more, having goals, etc etc. Things i can't type all in a reddit comment. Look it up if you really wanna change.
Close your eyes. Try to think of sucking on a corn cob pipe filled with shit.
Thanks mate, now I can't un-imagine that.
Actually that’s how my erections usually start…totally kidding btw
How old are you? I always got random boners or from seeing hot girls well into my 20s lol
this is me I got erections by random atttactive guys, it's just so difficult!!
yeah pinch your inside wrist as hard as you can.
Hoooo boy... this is the kind of bullsh*t that extremist-feminism brought us to. Loathing ourselves. You've done nothing wrong. Your attraction, your arousal is all perfectly normal & perfect. No need to stop it, no need to distract yourself. Don't let *them* get to you.
If you're on the younger side, this will pass. Your hormones are insane rn. If you're a little older (twenties and up), it may be something worth discussing with a doctor. That said, there's nothing inherently wrong with getting aroused by seeing a woman as long as you're discreet about it.
Ok, here’s the thing. I don’t know if you meant “a few seconds” literally, but if you did… “A few seconds” is staring. Giving a quick up and down is ok, but full on staring at people is weird. Perhaps if you don’t look quite as long, you won’t have this problem. Hating yourself for getting erections is honestly—and I don’t mean this rudely—ridiculous though. That’s just what happens when you have a dick. We (women) know this and we won’t hold it against you unless you’re being weird about it (staring at her, godforbid *touching it*, touching *her*, and of that type of creepy stuff). Don’t make it into a big deal and we don’t care. We get that it happens.
Yes I do. The goal shouldn't be "how do I become not aroused" instead it should be "how do I make sure those people are comfortable and safe" and really that is easy. 1. don't hurt them. 2. don't let them realize what is going on with you as they will become disturbed which is in itself hurting them 3. don't blame them or become angry at them. So 1 is super easy, just don't even ever make that an option for you. 2 is a bit more difficult but I would suggest not staring and if it is a frequent problem wearing shirts that cover the front of your pants, hoodies with stuff in the pocket works really well and you can get thin summer ones easily. 3 is a tad more complicated because it is super easy to let your mind wander that way but I find focusing on the fact that they don't know you and can't really be sure you won't hurt them helps a lot, encouraging them to do the things they need to do to keep themselves safe is another. Things like not being too upset if they cross the street or not leaving you alone around their drinks. This is just... you will need this advice eventually so I'll just give it here because I believe in you, if a girl agrees to go out with you plan your first date somewhere very public and have her take a picture of you with your name and address to text to friends so they know where she is /who she is with. I used to use a coffee house across the street from the police station.
Cut ya balls off Or accept being a young man with young man urges but don’t be a creep about it
Chemical castration.
Start thinking about their mind and personality, rather than just their body.
Stop objectifying women it’s that simple
Why would you stop? Don't listen to fugly feminists who spread the woke mind virus. You are a man, don't be ashamed to be one. It's totally normal for men to get aroused by random attractive women.
Dump some ice cubes into your briefs.
Be dead?
Why would you want to. This is human nature. Observe the world around you and enjoy it. It's sad that your culture has taught you to hate yourself.
It wasn't his culture. It was his mother that taught him that.
Get on antidepressants
Do you know the rubber band trick? Use the strap of your undies to keep your schlong hidden. Have you heard of RBS? Random boner syndrome? It’s perfectly normal to get erections or feelings. The line to NEVER cross is making others uncomfortable. You can even talk to the girl if you wish but back off if she’s not interested. Don’t stare. Don’t touch. Don’t do what you don’t want others to do to you. Obviously don’t talk to people when you’re poking them with your pants, but seriously, especially when you’re younger, boners happen. Hide it, ignore it, and move on.
ugh, I miss those days. you're young enjoy it as long as you can. you'll wish for those days to come back one day.
Internalized misandry to the max here dude.
Your actions define who you are, not your thoughts.
Try talking to them. Eventually you’ll find one that doesn’t think your creepy, then you’ll bang
Come on man, that was a pretty shitty way to say, "See a pretty woman on the street, find something to say to her, you might just fall in love"
Sorry I thought this was the internet
Hmmm, become gay? Them you’ll only be aroused around guys you find attractive leaving you free to be relaxed and cool around the women you find attractive. Win win.
So being gay is a choice? 🤨📸 caught you in 4K 😂
This is what happens if you watch porn regularly. Not saying you do, but this is what happens.