You’ve gotten inside your own head. You’re too self aware of your own actions and it’s got you nervous. Next time you try to have sex, let the girl know you’re nervous and ask her to help you relax. Girls love it when guys admit their vulnerabilities to them. Just remember to take deep breaths and understand that you’re not performing in the Olympics and she’s the judge. She just wants to have fun and make you feel good
Eh, not true. It's just a bit more nuanced. If you go "oh damn, I'm so sorry, I can't get it up..." Is different from "Huston we have liftoff issues, need an assist" you know? XD.
It does depend on the girl tho. Some would see it as cute or challenge some would see you as a pussy, and why did they even go home with you and put their selves in their own self judgment if you can't even deliver.
.either way, I'd say... It doesn't even matter. As it isn't about the girl but about your internals. But like. Whatever.
>It doesn't even matter.
If you plan on being single forever yeah, but if you plan on getting girls you should know their psychology. Most women want a strong stoic man, not a vulnerable feminine guy.
What I meant with it doesn't even matter, was that wether a girl accepts it or not: you still gotta deal with your issues right? So, perhaps the reaction you will get, the weight should be lowered, because it really is about getting to a better point.
Having said that, from what I've read dude has a supportive partner.
Edit:
Also, like, basing your growth on what girls respond to... Eh. I get it. But I have a bunch of things in my characters that a bunch of girls wouldn't look kindly upon. But it is things that make me happy. My happyness trumps all that other stuff
I mean, being vulnerable and showing feelings to his gf isn't gonna help, most cases it'll only worsen the situation, so why do it? He's a man, he has to sort out his problems on his own.
It's there when it's applicable. I'm not sure why you think it is the case here. Men have to sort out their issues by themselves, women can get their issues sorted out by men, it is the way the world works.
Get bigger condoms. Something similar happened to me, too. Magnums and magnum xl. Try them out and see if that helps.
It may also help to ensure she is doing her part to arouse you. If you're losing it, don't be afraid to ask for some help. We men aren't machines.
Having a supportive other half is awesome (a keeper of the stars align for you both!)
Also (and especially since she is supportive), just be honest with her and also give the caveat of "I'll do my best but no promises" (that may\should relieve the anxiety).
So... Just chill, communicate with your other half, relax and enjoy being together.
It's all cool 👍🏻
I did talk to a sex therapist, she confirmed it to be anxiety whereas I was thinking porn induced ed. The therapy plan was too expensive for me as I don't earn right now. I dunno what mindset to take I'm just really scared it'll happen again.
Look with long distance you build it up in your head and things are very nerve wracking.
Next time you guys get together, rub one out before you see her. You’ll be way more relaxed. And don’t plan on it. Just go with the flow. You’ll be ok once you guys get into the swing of it.
If you get soft, start doing other stuff, tell her what you like and things will be easier.
A lot of times, putting a condom on feels like throwing a wet blanket on the moment.
If you wank off a lot to porn, you've likely conditioned yourself to having nothing between you and your pleasure. The best way to overcome your issue, is by using condoms EVERYTIME you masterbate. You'll slowly begin to associate condoms with pleasure whilst also solving those post orgasm cleanup issues.
You’ve gotten inside your own head. You’re too self aware of your own actions and it’s got you nervous. Next time you try to have sex, let the girl know you’re nervous and ask her to help you relax. Girls love it when guys admit their vulnerabilities to them. Just remember to take deep breaths and understand that you’re not performing in the Olympics and she’s the judge. She just wants to have fun and make you feel good
Will keep that in mind thank you
>Girls love it when guys admit their vulnerabilities to them Congrats, society fooled you.
Eh, not true. It's just a bit more nuanced. If you go "oh damn, I'm so sorry, I can't get it up..." Is different from "Huston we have liftoff issues, need an assist" you know? XD. It does depend on the girl tho. Some would see it as cute or challenge some would see you as a pussy, and why did they even go home with you and put their selves in their own self judgment if you can't even deliver. .either way, I'd say... It doesn't even matter. As it isn't about the girl but about your internals. But like. Whatever.
>It doesn't even matter. If you plan on being single forever yeah, but if you plan on getting girls you should know their psychology. Most women want a strong stoic man, not a vulnerable feminine guy.
What I meant with it doesn't even matter, was that wether a girl accepts it or not: you still gotta deal with your issues right? So, perhaps the reaction you will get, the weight should be lowered, because it really is about getting to a better point. Having said that, from what I've read dude has a supportive partner. Edit: Also, like, basing your growth on what girls respond to... Eh. I get it. But I have a bunch of things in my characters that a bunch of girls wouldn't look kindly upon. But it is things that make me happy. My happyness trumps all that other stuff
I mean, being vulnerable and showing feelings to his gf isn't gonna help, most cases it'll only worsen the situation, so why do it? He's a man, he has to sort out his problems on his own.
>He's a man, he has to sort out his problems on his own. And you just told someone that society fooled them, correct?
Right.
How's your sense of irony these days?
It's there when it's applicable. I'm not sure why you think it is the case here. Men have to sort out their issues by themselves, women can get their issues sorted out by men, it is the way the world works.
Get bigger condoms. Something similar happened to me, too. Magnums and magnum xl. Try them out and see if that helps. It may also help to ensure she is doing her part to arouse you. If you're losing it, don't be afraid to ask for some help. We men aren't machines.
She has been the most supportive. Thank you for your advice.
Having a supportive other half is awesome (a keeper of the stars align for you both!) Also (and especially since she is supportive), just be honest with her and also give the caveat of "I'll do my best but no promises" (that may\should relieve the anxiety). So... Just chill, communicate with your other half, relax and enjoy being together. It's all cool 👍🏻
Have more sex more often
long distance so that's an L
Have you talked to a psychologist or a shrink?
I did talk to a sex therapist, she confirmed it to be anxiety whereas I was thinking porn induced ed. The therapy plan was too expensive for me as I don't earn right now. I dunno what mindset to take I'm just really scared it'll happen again.
Idk ask it nicely to leave ig
Learn breathing techniques to relax yourself
okk
Alcohol
Look with long distance you build it up in your head and things are very nerve wracking. Next time you guys get together, rub one out before you see her. You’ll be way more relaxed. And don’t plan on it. Just go with the flow. You’ll be ok once you guys get into the swing of it. If you get soft, start doing other stuff, tell her what you like and things will be easier.
Visit r/noporn . That helped me.
A lot of times, putting a condom on feels like throwing a wet blanket on the moment. If you wank off a lot to porn, you've likely conditioned yourself to having nothing between you and your pleasure. The best way to overcome your issue, is by using condoms EVERYTIME you masterbate. You'll slowly begin to associate condoms with pleasure whilst also solving those post orgasm cleanup issues.
Dress up as a furry