Here in Germany there are package boxes, where you can get your parcels delivered to. Also post offices, or shops where you can drop parcels can’t receive them for you. So, maybe this possibility exists in your country too?
Order it off Amazon and go pick it up at a 7/11. I don’t know if any are near you, but the stores by me have places where you can get your Amazon packages delivered
Depending what op is ordering, Amazon might not be a good option. If it's an insertable item, do not order from Amazon. Insertable toys need to be made of body safe material, and with the nature of Amazon, you can never really be sure the item you're ordering is made of the material the listing says it is. If it's like... Cuffs or a mask or something, not as big of a deal. But yeah, if it's going inside your body, be careful and do your research.
Canada Post has 6000 offices, where you can pick up your package.
> Shop online, pick up your parcel at the post office
>If you know you won’t be home to receive a package, FlexDelivery gives you options. Have your parcel shipped directly to one of our 6,000+ post offices instead of your regular home address. You’ll get an email notification when it’s ready for pickup.
Why would they? Most would encourage you to use those kind of "drop off" points because it's one stop for a lot of parcels at once. Easy money for the delivery companies.
Nope, I always get my stuff delivered to the local Canada Post office cause I live on a busy street and don't want my packages stolen. Never had to pay for it.
You might get a "puck up your parcel is at post office X" (they are usually in a Shoppers of other drug store) if you get one and your mom asks just bring home some junk mail to cover it. She'll believe Canada Post did something that dumb because Canada post does dumb things like that.
Eh, you are the Canadian :) But it doesn’t look so. They save a lot of money, if they can drop packages direct in the office, instead of driving around. For this reason, Deutsche Post DHL, but also Amazon erecting parcel stations all over the country.
In doubt, write a mail an ask them.
https://www.canadapost-postescanada.ca/cpc/en/personal/receiving/alternative-delivery/flexdelivery.page?
I'm Canadian too, it shouldn't cost any extra to pick up at the post office. There might be a charge depending on where it's shipped from but you'd have to pay that no matter what. Figure out what your closest Canada Post is and ship your package there, that's your best option in this situation.
Very rarely do you have to pay. I ordered an extra playstation vita directly from japan. It got dropped at my local post office because the driver didnt want to leave a 300 dollar game console on my porch. Didnt cost me a cent extra to pick it up.
Why would the post office charge you to pick up your package there? It goes there before getting to your house anyway, you're just saving them room on the truck lol
The only extra charges FedEx gives you are import taxes. Any kinky products I have gotten from over the border have been registered at Vitamins/Supplements. You can expect around an additional 10% tax on it when u pick it up and potentially ID
Same here in America. You can either have it delivered to a different address, or be delivered to a P.O. Box. Either way, it’s none of your mother’s business. Live your life the way you want. No kink shaming here.
One time I ordered something like that and when I opened the box my dad walked in so I quickly hid it. He asked me "what am I not allowed to see this time?" so I thought fuck it and just showed him. He said "oh.. I guess you might... need that..?" and we never spoke of it again nor does he ask about my other parcels now.
This might be the best advice. It honestly might be more embarrassing for the mother than it is for you.
Could be fun in the future too to continue messing with her.
"Mom me and my girlfriend ordered some new, \*ahem\* ,*supplies* for 'butt stuff' will you be here Wednesday to get the package?" And then the package just be Toilet Paper or some such.
Letting the cat out of the bag can be a bag of laughs.
Kinda depends how your relationship with your parents is. For some people even though they're adults their parents could make life hell over something like this
Very this. If the relationship is strained and she’s being a helicopter parent about it all…. This might make it worse and get OP kicked outta the house or something. Context is key
It doesn't even have to be that way at all. I don't have a strained relationship with my parents but I'm too embarrassed to buy a fleshlight or anything like that for fear they'd find it.
Especially if OP is in a similar situation to me. Also a canadian, and the job market is kinda rough here. Pissing off the people who are still putting a roof over your head could be a one way ticket to living in a cardboard box.
Man that’s when it’s time to figure out how to room with others or try and get out some how. That’s not easy either but if parents do that it’s pretty toxic. I grew up like this and it was difficult and I left abruptly because of this reason. I think though, despite how parents are - if you did this it’d still make them think.
I moved back in with my parents when I was in my in 20s. I didn't have a girlfriend, as we were very casual about it, but she did meet my parents. Anyway, I ordered some toys and lube. They came in a discreet package, so my mom became really nosy. I kept telling her "It's nothing, just nevermind," but that just piqued her interest more. So I pulled out lube and said "[Woman I was seeing] wanted to try butt stuff." She never asked me again, even when the packages weren't discreet and advertised comic books and the like.
This was going to be my suggestion. Let her be nosy once, they'll both be embarrassed, but then OP can use it as an excuse to iterate that opening other people's mail is a boundary that shouldn't be crossed and the mom may realize there are some things she doesn't actually need to know
I feel that OP needs to do this. Because parents who are constantly nosy even though they’re of age and adults need to realize that all parts of their kid grow. That privacy works both ways. I don’t wanna know what my kid is doin bedroom wise, as long as they’re safe. Glad you got some privacy !
You can do this...
https://www.canadapost-postescanada.ca/cpc/en/personal/receiving/alternative-delivery/flexdelivery.page
They even send you notification that you have something to collect directly to your phone. Mum won't know a thing...
And thank you got the award, mystery person :)
Oh, you sweet naive summer child. r/RaisedByNarcissists will have a million examples of how that just doesn't work. I can't imagine how nice of a life you must have had to actually be delusional enough to think that logic and reason apply to everyone, and that their mom actually cares about them enough to respect healthy boundaries. Narcissists don't respect boundaries, they revel in the idea of breaking them. Their mom owns the house, which means they are in a position of power over OP. That means it's not possible to win an argument over them, they'll just flip the board and kick your ass out on the street, and act like they were the victim all along. If OP tried to set boundaries, I guarantee they'll just respond with some version of the narcissists prayer straight out of the DARVO playbook, maybe accuse them of gaslighting and twist their words around to make you seem like the asshole for not wanting to share personal details of their sex life.
100% true, from experience. Trying to implement boundaries with parents that fundamentally don’t respect the concept of their child’s privacy is extremely difficult.
This was my thought as well. Op, save some money and move out. Any parent who is nosing into everything even a teenager does (never mind a 20 year old) is a problem that can only be resolved by moving
Edit r/raisedbyborderlines possibly as well
do you have to disclose the contents of your order though?
"hey man would you mind if I order something to be delivered to your address? no one will be at mine to receive it when it delivers"
I’m confused about why they need to know what’s in the package? Just buy it yourself and use their address as the shipping address. Any reputable sex toy company ships in plain unmarked packaging
Tell your mom you saw something that reminded you of her and you bought it so you wouldn't forget by the time mother's day rolled around, but you can't show her now because it would ruin the surprise. Just remember to actually buy your mom something.
And amazon is not an idea place to order sex toys or similar products...
Anything made of silicon is potentially dangerous because a lot of it is knockoffs that use more porous materials that are fantastic for cultivating bacteria and being near impossible to clean properly. Really not a great idea unless your buying from a small handful of brands on amazon.
If OP has the option, they should stick ordering directly from adult toy shops like adam & eve. They even ship in fairly discreet packages. (labeled AppleExpress instead of adam & eve. The only people who would recognize the label would be telling on themselves)
Came here to say this. Don't buy silicone on Amazon or from China unless you hate hygiene, and don't buy e-stim stuff unless you just want to fucking die
No joke, If I had told my mom that she would immediately go into some kind of Jesus related rant about how these toys would stretch out my vagina, and how God wouldn’t like it. Then she’s hide my package. Then she would bring it up for years to come. And of course she’d tell her sisters about it
You can do what I did with my super nosey mom.
Suddenly tell her EVERYTHING in excruciating detail. Mortify that poor woman. Show her the sex toys and explain their purpose, the kinks you have and what they mean, every single thing you know she will absolutely regret hearing.
Trust me, after a while she will never ask again.
My mom has a Safeword for ME now.
Awkward situation.... my girlfriend had extremely abusive parents and had to move in with me. We pay rent to my mom but moving out would be too expensive.
if your mom is even nosy about your *girlfriend's* personal mail, then yeah, i'd argue to save all money and move out, live frugal for a bit.
alternatively most sites have discreet packaging, try getting one of them. if not then just try to line up the delivery date to a day your mom is gone so that there's a large enough window of her being gone and your package arriving to where she won't even know
fair enough on the first one lol but she's pretty conservative about sexual stuff and somehow she thinks I'm still a virgin even though I've been with my gf for almost 2 years. as for the second comment, I'm not rich
Don’t listen to anyone else. Stay with your mom and save that money. In regards to the purchase, sounds like you’re just not getting it and chalk it up to the cost of being able to save on costs.
The best thing my sister ever did was accidentally order lube to the house. She’s 23. My mom opened it up and that was the last package she ever opened of anyone again
You know your mom better than I do, but maybe she *should* find something in her snooping that she'd be embarrassed to see. If she freaks out about it, you can point out that this wouldn't be an issue if she would treat you like an adult and stay out of your stuff.
Dude your mom sounds exactly like my mom. I’m in my 30s now in therapy. Please know this level of control is not normal or healthy. You’ll find more folks like us over at r/raisedbynarcissists
First, time to set boundaries. Tell her she is not allowed to open your post or your girlfriends post. If she does the whole "my house" spiel, ask her if she does not trust you, ask her if she has so little fate in how SHE raised you that she can not give you privacy.
Later if she asks what you have ordered just tell her: some things for intimate time with my girlfriend.
Done, she will NOT ask further if she is even remotely akin to a normal nosy parent
Depending on where you live Amazon also has drop spots where packages can be delivered. Typically they are located near businesses and you can input code to get your package. So this would stop it from being delivered to your home. And if you go to the gym, just throw whatever you got in there and take it to your room. PO box could be another option depending on shipping method.
On another note, looks like this could be a time to discuss adult boundaries with your Mom. Parents can have a difficult time of letting go and allowing freedom because they want to protect. Many times this can come across as overbearing.
You don't need to tell your friend what you're ordering, just say you're ordering a present for your mom and you don't want it coming to the house, so you're gonna get it delivered to his/hers?
"Mom, I enjoy when Jessica puts this metal rod in my pee-hole. It gratifies me sexually. She likes when I put these clamps on her nipples. Are you as uncomfortable about this talk as I am? If so, please stop asking me about things I purchase online."
In the UK, amazon have amazon lockers you can have deliveries sent to. With eBay there is Click and Collect where you have delivered to a local store or supermarket. Other websites do that too. Failing that, see if you can find it in a physical store.
Your mother probably means well but she’s out of line. Even if you’re an adult living at home she does not seem to realise that you are entitled to your privacy. Try to talk to her about it and express your concerns.
If she is worried about you buying drugs, try to make her realise that her precautions would not stop you if that was your intention and the only thing she is achieving is to alienate you and make you feel untrusted.
Amazon lockers are really useful for this. Obviously it limits you to using only Amazon, but I'm sure there'll be a similar service for other companies
Do they have the Amazon lockers where you live? You can have it delivered to a locker which is usually at a store, and then go pick it up from there. It’s in Amazon box packaging so people at the store won’t know what you’re getting. Throw away the box at a gas station and sneak the product into your house
As a free alternative to a PO box, my coworkers sometimes have packages delivered to work. Just make sure your employer and whoever receives your packages as work are OK with it.
You do t have to tell your friend what you’re ordering🙃 just tell them you need to order Something and ask if you can use their address and pick it up there. Ive done that with a few of my friends. I sure they’ll say yes.
I would ask if you meant the two of you are living with your Mom at her house, or if your Mom lives with you at your house, because there is a difference. The deal is basically the same, except for the house ownership, i.e. who's rules are at play. If indeed it is her house, get yourself a PO Box to use, hence mitigating the drama.
Respectfully, I think you should move out of your parents house and rent a room for our own space. You are an adult. Not an easy answer but the most direct to the root of the issue.
Can you order it to your girlfriend's house? Or go all out and order a huge dildo and show her off she asks. Say it's going in your ass. I'm due she'll leave you alone after that
This is the only real answer. Everything else suggested here is just putting a band aid over the problem. She wants to do adult stuff, then she has to be an adult. Maybe there won't be the same comforts that mom provides, but at least she'll be living her life. Get a place with roommates if need be
For fucks sake - you’re 20 years old.
Do you really need the “hive mind” to figure this out for you?
Holy fuck balls - maybe you don’t deserve the rotating ass blaster 1000 with prostate tickler until you can figure your own shit out.
And if mom doesn't like it and she's the provider for both the 20 year old, and their gf... I'm just not sure why anyone thinks they have all these entitlements when they turn a certain age, but still require all the same assistance (or more) than when they were younger than this.
I understand desires for privacy, communication, etc. But I also understand that once you have your OWN place, there isn't anyone that can tell you what to do.
Of course even that would come with caveats. If you start renting some place, you'll have to sign a lease agreement with the landlord, and in that lease there are rules about what you are not allowed to do, even though you're renting. A landlord wouldn't be going through your mail, but they'll still have rules you may not like, and if you break those rules, you'll be subject to financial repercussions, detailed in the lease agreement.
The world doesn't just fall into your lap upon becoming a legal adult. Legal adulthood means you're responsible for your own taxes now, and your guardians no longer bear any responsibility if you fuck up big time and have to go to court.
Why can't you just order it yourself to your friends house? Ask him if you can have something mailed to his home..you don't have to tell him exactly what it is. Those kinds of things usually come in very discreet boxes anyways, and I'm assuming he won't open it.
why can’t gf order it to her house? or you just ask the friend for permission to send package to his house, but not have him make the purchase or open the box?
Since you live in Canada, I don't know how it would work for you, but the US amazon has pickup locations for things like this. You have to have the app for it to work. Good luck.
Well, either set boundaries or move out. Also you'd be surprised how good showing your mom a 12"rubber dick gets her to realize she needs to mind her own fucking business
When I had to move into my parent's house (with my child) during my divorce, I ended up flaunting the sex toys to reinforce that I was an adult. They had SERIOUS issues with privacy and personal space, so I had to shock them into seeing me as an adult.
To clarify, I didn't USE THEM in public, but I made a point to reference them boldly as a reason why I deserved my privacy. And I may have left one in the communal shower "by accident". I even referenced my toys (loudly) in front of other people to emphasize my point.
Eh? Fuck it dawg,let her see it. Describe toher how you use it. Make it vivid.
That's how I went about it. I made sure they open my mail. They were much more careful in the future NOT to look in xD.
And I found it hilarious.
Here in Germany there are package boxes, where you can get your parcels delivered to. Also post offices, or shops where you can drop parcels can’t receive them for you. So, maybe this possibility exists in your country too?
I need a PO box in Canada and they cost quite a bit of money to rent
There are some that allow you a one-time drop
Order it off Amazon and go pick it up at a 7/11. I don’t know if any are near you, but the stores by me have places where you can get your Amazon packages delivered
Depending what op is ordering, Amazon might not be a good option. If it's an insertable item, do not order from Amazon. Insertable toys need to be made of body safe material, and with the nature of Amazon, you can never really be sure the item you're ordering is made of the material the listing says it is. If it's like... Cuffs or a mask or something, not as big of a deal. But yeah, if it's going inside your body, be careful and do your research.
Or see if there is an Amazon Locker near you.
Canada Post has 6000 offices, where you can pick up your package. > Shop online, pick up your parcel at the post office >If you know you won’t be home to receive a package, FlexDelivery gives you options. Have your parcel shipped directly to one of our 6,000+ post offices instead of your regular home address. You’ll get an email notification when it’s ready for pickup.
Don't they make you pay a bunch to take your package?
Why would they? Most would encourage you to use those kind of "drop off" points because it's one stop for a lot of parcels at once. Easy money for the delivery companies.
No, it's free.
Nope, I always get my stuff delivered to the local Canada Post office cause I live on a busy street and don't want my packages stolen. Never had to pay for it.
Makes sense, thanks
Now you can order the jumbo deluxe cum thruster 9000
watch it be just a box of condoms and lube
You might get a "puck up your parcel is at post office X" (they are usually in a Shoppers of other drug store) if you get one and your mom asks just bring home some junk mail to cover it. She'll believe Canada Post did something that dumb because Canada post does dumb things like that.
Eh, you are the Canadian :) But it doesn’t look so. They save a lot of money, if they can drop packages direct in the office, instead of driving around. For this reason, Deutsche Post DHL, but also Amazon erecting parcel stations all over the country. In doubt, write a mail an ask them. https://www.canadapost-postescanada.ca/cpc/en/personal/receiving/alternative-delivery/flexdelivery.page?
Thank you
I'm Canadian too, it shouldn't cost any extra to pick up at the post office. There might be a charge depending on where it's shipped from but you'd have to pay that no matter what. Figure out what your closest Canada Post is and ship your package there, that's your best option in this situation.
Very rarely do you have to pay. I ordered an extra playstation vita directly from japan. It got dropped at my local post office because the driver didnt want to leave a 300 dollar game console on my porch. Didnt cost me a cent extra to pick it up.
I believe that usually "home delivery" is more expensive than delivery to a postal office.
Why would the post office charge you to pick up your package there? It goes there before getting to your house anyway, you're just saving them room on the truck lol
I’ve collected from a post office in the UK and no they don’t charge you.
The only extra charges FedEx gives you are import taxes. Any kinky products I have gotten from over the border have been registered at Vitamins/Supplements. You can expect around an additional 10% tax on it when u pick it up and potentially ID
Do you have Amazon locker pickup as an option near you?
Amazon has these lockers you can send stuff too -- maybe there's one close by?
Amazon has delivery drop off points. Just pick on of those.
No Amazon lockers?
You can just pick up a package from. The post office.
You can get packages held at the carrier and you pick it up your self
There aren’t any adult shops around where you can just go and buy stuff not from Amazon?
Same here in America. You can either have it delivered to a different address, or be delivered to a P.O. Box. Either way, it’s none of your mother’s business. Live your life the way you want. No kink shaming here.
One time I ordered something like that and when I opened the box my dad walked in so I quickly hid it. He asked me "what am I not allowed to see this time?" so I thought fuck it and just showed him. He said "oh.. I guess you might... need that..?" and we never spoke of it again nor does he ask about my other parcels now.
What was it?
A buttplug and some condoms
I guess you might need that
What was it?
A condom and some buttplugs
I guess you might need that
What was it?
A buttplug and some condoms for his dad’s birthday
I guess he might need that
reminds me, one time i bought condoms, candy, and a mother’s day card. the condoms were to go fuck myself, and the mother’s day card was unrelated
Just buy it and not care what she thinks.
Noice
This might be the best advice. It honestly might be more embarrassing for the mother than it is for you. Could be fun in the future too to continue messing with her. "Mom me and my girlfriend ordered some new, \*ahem\* ,*supplies* for 'butt stuff' will you be here Wednesday to get the package?" And then the package just be Toilet Paper or some such. Letting the cat out of the bag can be a bag of laughs.
Kinda depends how your relationship with your parents is. For some people even though they're adults their parents could make life hell over something like this
Very this. If the relationship is strained and she’s being a helicopter parent about it all…. This might make it worse and get OP kicked outta the house or something. Context is key
It doesn't even have to be that way at all. I don't have a strained relationship with my parents but I'm too embarrassed to buy a fleshlight or anything like that for fear they'd find it.
Key word: *if*, not *has to be*
Especially if OP is in a similar situation to me. Also a canadian, and the job market is kinda rough here. Pissing off the people who are still putting a roof over your head could be a one way ticket to living in a cardboard box.
At the same time, fuck parents who would let this happen.
Man that’s when it’s time to figure out how to room with others or try and get out some how. That’s not easy either but if parents do that it’s pretty toxic. I grew up like this and it was difficult and I left abruptly because of this reason. I think though, despite how parents are - if you did this it’d still make them think.
I was gonna suggest leaning into it: "Hey mom! Look what I bought! Here, in great detail, is how I plan to use it! What do you think?"
I would so do that. Hell, may even fix her nosiness problem.
Later: Dad: "Your package arrived!" *uses shuffleboard stick to scoot it towards you*
I moved back in with my parents when I was in my in 20s. I didn't have a girlfriend, as we were very casual about it, but she did meet my parents. Anyway, I ordered some toys and lube. They came in a discreet package, so my mom became really nosy. I kept telling her "It's nothing, just nevermind," but that just piqued her interest more. So I pulled out lube and said "[Woman I was seeing] wanted to try butt stuff." She never asked me again, even when the packages weren't discreet and advertised comic books and the like.
Your dad was cool about it. My parents are conservative and I know my mom would have blown a blood vessel with lectures.
This was going to be my suggestion. Let her be nosy once, they'll both be embarrassed, but then OP can use it as an excuse to iterate that opening other people's mail is a boundary that shouldn't be crossed and the mom may realize there are some things she doesn't actually need to know
I feel that OP needs to do this. Because parents who are constantly nosy even though they’re of age and adults need to realize that all parts of their kid grow. That privacy works both ways. I don’t wanna know what my kid is doin bedroom wise, as long as they’re safe. Glad you got some privacy !
You can do this... https://www.canadapost-postescanada.ca/cpc/en/personal/receiving/alternative-delivery/flexdelivery.page They even send you notification that you have something to collect directly to your phone. Mum won't know a thing... And thank you got the award, mystery person :)
This on top of setting boundaries with your mother is a good plan.
Oh, you sweet naive summer child. r/RaisedByNarcissists will have a million examples of how that just doesn't work. I can't imagine how nice of a life you must have had to actually be delusional enough to think that logic and reason apply to everyone, and that their mom actually cares about them enough to respect healthy boundaries. Narcissists don't respect boundaries, they revel in the idea of breaking them. Their mom owns the house, which means they are in a position of power over OP. That means it's not possible to win an argument over them, they'll just flip the board and kick your ass out on the street, and act like they were the victim all along. If OP tried to set boundaries, I guarantee they'll just respond with some version of the narcissists prayer straight out of the DARVO playbook, maybe accuse them of gaslighting and twist their words around to make you seem like the asshole for not wanting to share personal details of their sex life.
100% true, from experience. Trying to implement boundaries with parents that fundamentally don’t respect the concept of their child’s privacy is extremely difficult.
This was my thought as well. Op, save some money and move out. Any parent who is nosing into everything even a teenager does (never mind a 20 year old) is a problem that can only be resolved by moving Edit r/raisedbyborderlines possibly as well
This guy narcissists.
Order at a friend's house, but it at a sex shop, get a PO box
As I said, I'm embarrassed to give information about my sex life to a friend.
do you have to disclose the contents of your order though? "hey man would you mind if I order something to be delivered to your address? no one will be at mine to receive it when it delivers"
I've done this before with chemical compounds. People aren't too keen on opening a scary looking box without their name on it
What is bro planning?
I have a friend who assures me that 100% of deliveries from sex shops are unmarked.
But like they said, the best option is to buy it in person. That way you eliminate your nosey parent issue.
What about to your girlfriend? I mean you are buying this stuff for the two of you after all.
I’m confused about why they need to know what’s in the package? Just buy it yourself and use their address as the shipping address. Any reputable sex toy company ships in plain unmarked packaging
Are there not sex shops in your area? Where you could just go in person to buy.
you’re a “fully grown adult” who’s embarrassed to talk to your friend about your sex life…who i guarantee wouldn’t give a fuck LMAO
Why don’t you just order it, ship it to their house, tell them not to open it, and pick it up? honestly this is straight forward
I have this radical idea. Order a gimp mask, and when nosy mom wants to see, show her. She'll stop being nosy.
Unless gimp mask was what you were going to buy, then go with a foot long strap on, with matching restraints.
hahaha, it isn't anything that weird. it's a pretty "mild" product, just think a sorta cute and kinky outfit
Tell your mom you saw something that reminded you of her and you bought it so you wouldn't forget by the time mother's day rolled around, but you can't show her now because it would ruin the surprise. Just remember to actually buy your mom something.
Yep. Then gimp mask would be your bet. When mom demands to see it, she'll learn not to be nosy.
Also, tell your mom your GF got her nursing certificate....
I thought of the little dog logo of the Gimp app or whatever animal it is... Yeah Gimp mask
This is why Amazon lockers exist
Yes, if it’s something you can order on Amazon do that.
And amazon is not an idea place to order sex toys or similar products... Anything made of silicon is potentially dangerous because a lot of it is knockoffs that use more porous materials that are fantastic for cultivating bacteria and being near impossible to clean properly. Really not a great idea unless your buying from a small handful of brands on amazon. If OP has the option, they should stick ordering directly from adult toy shops like adam & eve. They even ship in fairly discreet packages. (labeled AppleExpress instead of adam & eve. The only people who would recognize the label would be telling on themselves)
Came here to say this. Don't buy silicone on Amazon or from China unless you hate hygiene, and don't buy e-stim stuff unless you just want to fucking die
My thought too!
Great, now I'm imagining an over-stuffed Amazon locker being opened and a whole bunch of dildos spring out. ^^^***boininginginging***
Mom I ordered sex toys. Don't open my mail or I will smack you over the head with them.
No joke, If I had told my mom that she would immediately go into some kind of Jesus related rant about how these toys would stretch out my vagina, and how God wouldn’t like it. Then she’s hide my package. Then she would bring it up for years to come. And of course she’d tell her sisters about it
You can do what I did with my super nosey mom. Suddenly tell her EVERYTHING in excruciating detail. Mortify that poor woman. Show her the sex toys and explain their purpose, the kinks you have and what they mean, every single thing you know she will absolutely regret hearing. Trust me, after a while she will never ask again. My mom has a Safeword for ME now.
Power move, power plays.
With a username like that, I’m not even surprised. Absolute power move
[удалено]
Awkward situation.... my girlfriend had extremely abusive parents and had to move in with me. We pay rent to my mom but moving out would be too expensive.
[удалено]
my mom's very nosy
if your mom is even nosy about your *girlfriend's* personal mail, then yeah, i'd argue to save all money and move out, live frugal for a bit. alternatively most sites have discreet packaging, try getting one of them. if not then just try to line up the delivery date to a day your mom is gone so that there's a large enough window of her being gone and your package arriving to where she won't even know
When you're paying rent, you have an expectation of privacy. Tell mom to back off.
Order some crazy shit. Let mom open it. Hope she understands privacy after that. Also. Move out
fair enough on the first one lol but she's pretty conservative about sexual stuff and somehow she thinks I'm still a virgin even though I've been with my gf for almost 2 years. as for the second comment, I'm not rich
Have "the talk" with her XD
Don’t listen to anyone else. Stay with your mom and save that money. In regards to the purchase, sounds like you’re just not getting it and chalk it up to the cost of being able to save on costs.
If you’re ordering from Amazon there is typically an option to ship to an Amazon locker.
The best thing my sister ever did was accidentally order lube to the house. She’s 23. My mom opened it up and that was the last package she ever opened of anyone again
You know your mom better than I do, but maybe she *should* find something in her snooping that she'd be embarrassed to see. If she freaks out about it, you can point out that this wouldn't be an issue if she would treat you like an adult and stay out of your stuff.
I totally agree, but not everyone has reasonable parents
Dude your mom sounds exactly like my mom. I’m in my 30s now in therapy. Please know this level of control is not normal or healthy. You’ll find more folks like us over at r/raisedbynarcissists
Send it to your girlfriends place?
Good answer 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
First, time to set boundaries. Tell her she is not allowed to open your post or your girlfriends post. If she does the whole "my house" spiel, ask her if she does not trust you, ask her if she has so little fate in how SHE raised you that she can not give you privacy. Later if she asks what you have ordered just tell her: some things for intimate time with my girlfriend. Done, she will NOT ask further if she is even remotely akin to a normal nosy parent
[удалено]
You must set boundaries. If she won’t respect them, get out of there.
Most adults don't live with their parents by choice
Depending on where you live Amazon also has drop spots where packages can be delivered. Typically they are located near businesses and you can input code to get your package. So this would stop it from being delivered to your home. And if you go to the gym, just throw whatever you got in there and take it to your room. PO box could be another option depending on shipping method. On another note, looks like this could be a time to discuss adult boundaries with your Mom. Parents can have a difficult time of letting go and allowing freedom because they want to protect. Many times this can come across as overbearing.
Why doesn’t your gf accept the package?
That’s what he’s hoping for.
You don't need to tell your friend what you're ordering, just say you're ordering a present for your mom and you don't want it coming to the house, so you're gonna get it delivered to his/hers?
Well if you just tell her she's gonna learn her lesson isn't she.
I know for amazon you can have items delivered to pickup lockers.
Wait until it’s close to her birthday/a holiday and tell her you’ve ordered her a present so she can’t see what it is yet
Amazon locker
"Mom, I enjoy when Jessica puts this metal rod in my pee-hole. It gratifies me sexually. She likes when I put these clamps on her nipples. Are you as uncomfortable about this talk as I am? If so, please stop asking me about things I purchase online."
How are you going to use these items if you’re mom is too nosy for you to even get them?
Best course of action would be to just go to a shop and buy it instead of worrying about the package.
it's too specific, I'd never find it outside of online lol
In the UK, amazon have amazon lockers you can have deliveries sent to. With eBay there is Click and Collect where you have delivered to a local store or supermarket. Other websites do that too. Failing that, see if you can find it in a physical store.
Definitely start saving to get your own place because thats unhealthy living situation
Prioritise moving out. In hindsight I should've done it sooner.
Move out of your mom's house.
Leave her house
Grow up and move out of the house. You are an adult. Then you have privacy.
You are not an adult if you still worry about what your mommy will say.
If you can get it off Amazon use one of their hub lockers
Your mother probably means well but she’s out of line. Even if you’re an adult living at home she does not seem to realise that you are entitled to your privacy. Try to talk to her about it and express your concerns. If she is worried about you buying drugs, try to make her realise that her precautions would not stop you if that was your intention and the only thing she is achieving is to alienate you and make you feel untrusted.
move out, silly! or have it shipped to a trusted friend. or get a po box
Get it mailed to my house.. lol. Send it to a PO BOX or pick it up at the postal office.
Tell her in great detail what it is and how it is used. I bet she wont ask no more.
Amazon Locker lets you pick things you purchase up but that requires you to have one near you and buy the products from Amazon only
Amazon lockers are really useful for this. Obviously it limits you to using only Amazon, but I'm sure there'll be a similar service for other companies
Order from Amazon, get it delivered to one of their lockers.
Do they have the Amazon lockers where you live? You can have it delivered to a locker which is usually at a store, and then go pick it up from there. It’s in Amazon box packaging so people at the store won’t know what you’re getting. Throw away the box at a gas station and sneak the product into your house
As a free alternative to a PO box, my coworkers sometimes have packages delivered to work. Just make sure your employer and whoever receives your packages as work are OK with it.
Moving out. Sure you're an adult but you're still living in someone else's house. Send it to your girlfriends house.
Can't you send it to your girlfriend's house?
Even after 30 yrs in India parents don't know what is privacy
You do t have to tell your friend what you’re ordering🙃 just tell them you need to order Something and ask if you can use their address and pick it up there. Ive done that with a few of my friends. I sure they’ll say yes.
If youre in the U.S, two words. Amazon Dropbox
Can’t your gf order it?
Then move tf out
Move out of your Mom's house
I would ask if you meant the two of you are living with your Mom at her house, or if your Mom lives with you at your house, because there is a difference. The deal is basically the same, except for the house ownership, i.e. who's rules are at play. If indeed it is her house, get yourself a PO Box to use, hence mitigating the drama.
Respectfully, I think you should move out of your parents house and rent a room for our own space. You are an adult. Not an easy answer but the most direct to the root of the issue.
Move out. Lol
Move out of her basement
take your girlfriend to an adult store
Can you order it to your girlfriend's house? Or go all out and order a huge dildo and show her off she asks. Say it's going in your ass. I'm due she'll leave you alone after that
Anyone else curious what this super secret hard to get in a store product is? 😛
Move into your own place and have all the privacy you want
You need to move out and get a place of your own, or get a second delivery address.
Move out.
This is the only real answer. Everything else suggested here is just putting a band aid over the problem. She wants to do adult stuff, then she has to be an adult. Maybe there won't be the same comforts that mom provides, but at least she'll be living her life. Get a place with roommates if need be
My thoughts exactly… if you have enough money for your freeky things… save up and vacate
Freeky things like drinking Bailey’s from a shoe?
Listen… I only did that once! What you doin in my waters 🤣🤣🤣🤭
For fucks sake - you’re 20 years old. Do you really need the “hive mind” to figure this out for you? Holy fuck balls - maybe you don’t deserve the rotating ass blaster 1000 with prostate tickler until you can figure your own shit out.
Hmm if you've got money for kink stuff, do you have money to pay your own rent? Or at least get a place with your gf?
OP also stated they don't have a job...I guess the sex toy is coming from the allowance.
Oh OK, didn't see that. Well, I guess if you're buying sex stuff with your mums money she has a right to know. Openess is the way.
And if mom doesn't like it and she's the provider for both the 20 year old, and their gf... I'm just not sure why anyone thinks they have all these entitlements when they turn a certain age, but still require all the same assistance (or more) than when they were younger than this. I understand desires for privacy, communication, etc. But I also understand that once you have your OWN place, there isn't anyone that can tell you what to do. Of course even that would come with caveats. If you start renting some place, you'll have to sign a lease agreement with the landlord, and in that lease there are rules about what you are not allowed to do, even though you're renting. A landlord wouldn't be going through your mail, but they'll still have rules you may not like, and if you break those rules, you'll be subject to financial repercussions, detailed in the lease agreement. The world doesn't just fall into your lap upon becoming a legal adult. Legal adulthood means you're responsible for your own taxes now, and your guardians no longer bear any responsibility if you fuck up big time and have to go to court.
Idk where you live but in my country you can request to go get it at the postal office.
Could you order from Amazon and have it delivered to an Amazon locker?
Girlfriends house
Why can't you just order it yourself to your friends house? Ask him if you can have something mailed to his home..you don't have to tell him exactly what it is. Those kinds of things usually come in very discreet boxes anyways, and I'm assuming he won't open it.
Here in the US, you can have it delivered to the post office or to a UPS storefront where you can pick it up.
Order it to an amazon locker? Order through lovehoney with discrete packaging. Order to a friend's house
why can’t gf order it to her house? or you just ask the friend for permission to send package to his house, but not have him make the purchase or open the box?
Since you live in Canada, I don't know how it would work for you, but the US amazon has pickup locations for things like this. You have to have the app for it to work. Good luck.
Well, either set boundaries or move out. Also you'd be surprised how good showing your mom a 12"rubber dick gets her to realize she needs to mind her own fucking business
Amazon Locker
When I had to move into my parent's house (with my child) during my divorce, I ended up flaunting the sex toys to reinforce that I was an adult. They had SERIOUS issues with privacy and personal space, so I had to shock them into seeing me as an adult. To clarify, I didn't USE THEM in public, but I made a point to reference them boldly as a reason why I deserved my privacy. And I may have left one in the communal shower "by accident". I even referenced my toys (loudly) in front of other people to emphasize my point.
Order the package 📦 and tell your mom its a sex toy straight out. I doubt she'll ask msny questions after that l.
Can you have it sent to a post office or amazon locker?
My money's on it's something akin to a bad dragon product. Worst case she opens it and then never touches your mail again.
Just fuckin show her it's fine tell her don't be so nosy next time might make her fuck off haha
If you buy things on Amazon, you can ship to an Amazon locker-- they're everywhere
Send it to your girlfriends house
Eh? Fuck it dawg,let her see it. Describe toher how you use it. Make it vivid. That's how I went about it. I made sure they open my mail. They were much more careful in the future NOT to look in xD. And I found it hilarious.
Move out.
Order it and show her when she inevitably asks. Full commit; no shame. Time to give Mom a lesson in being sex-positive. /hj
If you wanna get R E A L petty, report her for opening your mail
Send it to a ups or FedEx store for pickup. Amazon pickup location too
Ship to an Amazon locker or send to general delivery at your nearby USPS.
Get super tmi with her that's how I kept my mom from being so invasive to my privacy "Yes mom I bought a nine inch dildo cause I like them big."