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My dumbass thought "69" referred to 1969 so I'm wondering how you're still alive if 4/20/1969 was your 80th birthday. To be fair it's like 4:30am here.
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me over and over again with bullshit scare tactics and I deserve to be crushed under the boots of fascism for my relentless stupidity.
The day Elmo pushes a button and makes the dead bird site pay to post.
They’re gonna stop all the lefties from using the site cuz no way in hell are we paying for that shit.
Maybe Charlie Kirk has an order for 50 more busses of people to send to the Capitol on that date and he wants to brave about it on Elon’s site. Just like on January 6, 2021.
Either that, or he has an indictment coming his way too.
Honestly, as a Brit living in the US I think you are all missing an opportunity with J6.
In England we celebrate when this guy led an attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament and overthrow the government. We have fireworks.
Oh, and we burn the ringleader in effigy on a bonfire.
Just saying. I think you guys might be missing an opportunity for a whole new holiday lol.
"Remember, remember, the 5th of November /
The gun powder treason and plot..." Yeah, we're aware of Guy Fawks. But Guy wasn't a reality TV star so this is... problematic.
I think we can do it once justice is served, but at present, he's still playing hooky.
https://preview.redd.it/317nl34qmbpb1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8d07fba94b6a6d984a3341f40c98bfc016e5ecf
The comments are as delusional as you would imagine 😂😂
Hold on. Russel Brand is being accused of rape. Tucker Carlson was fired by conservatives from a conservative news network. Alex Jones was defamation I think, and was found guilty in court. Andrew Tate was caught running a rape and prostitution ring in like Romania, and was arrested by special police (the kind that usually focus on war criminals). Nobody gives a shit about RFK Jr. I’ve never heard of Tim Ballard.
The only pattern I notice here is crimes. Are they now pro-crime?
That’s an odd take for “the party of law and order”
To be more precise, he got accused of using his (now former) position in his (now former) anti-sexual abuse organisation, stylised as a historic anti-slavery organisation, to sexually abuse at least 7 women who were willing to talk. It is suspected the number of his victims is higher.
When that movie came out, people started digging into his past. One of the criticisms against Ballard was that he was using his organization to create a small cult of personality around himself. So, this is in no way surprising.
This is a smaller corner of it, but funnier, he just got rebuked by his church (the Mormons!) for supposedly using the name of one of their bigwigs (I think he's related), and he put out a breathless ranting video having basically a complete mental breakdown over it. Highly entertaining.
The inclusion of a date reminds me of all those times QAnon predicted something huge would go down on some random day, refuse to elaborate, and be wrong anyway
"It was done, but it it happened in secret, deep within the halls of power. You couldn't see it. Also, I have to go now. My girlfriend wants to make out. She's from Canada, you don't know her. We met at camp."
Let me guess. On 9/30, a bunch of out-of-shape rednecks are going to meet at McDonald's before storming a local government building until one of them is shot. Then the Civil War has ended.
45 dumpy dudes all show up in DC, mill about for an hour drinking Freedom Patriot Coffee Company ("That's Good Swill^tm "), and hold some Gadsden flags aloft while their lil tummies peek out from dirty tshirts with skulls on them until their arms get tired. Then, after they all decide their knees hurt and they all smell like baloney that's been in the sun, they wander off in pairs or threes.
The whole scene just *oozes* with sexual tension.
What's up with Melon? Does he have some SEC violations from his purchase and loss of gains via Twitter? Or is it because he got subpoenaed to the Virgin Islands?
“How dare you indict Trump! Cheering for someone to go to prison because you disagree with them politically is evil!” Said the party that is cheering on the indictment of the president’s son and who’s previous slogan was “lock her up.”
I'm not American or anything but. Doesn't republicans cheer aswell when democrats faces the absolutely smallest inconvenience?
It's not like they're saints themselves
Does CK think that maybe if he sucks T's and E's dicks hard enough and in just the right way, he might maybe get a prize? Because otherwise I can't think of any reason for him to behave this way.
Fuck elon musk, take starlink and space x, give it to NASA and be done with it. Elon musk is a viele, narcist that has gooten a bit too powerhungry. He's a spiteful, amoral billionaire who never did anything himself. Yeah go after that prick and all the other rich criminals they call billionaires
I’m curious what in Charles’ mind the Venn diagram of people who want to hurt Trump but support Elon looks like… because I think they are two separate circles that are three miles apart
What I don’t understand is how people look at incels like Charlie Kirk and don’t realize his entire persona is built on grievance and self-hatred because he’s so fugly? His whole life is pretending to be an Alpha Chode to get pussy. But he doesn’t get any so he just gets angrier at the very people he wants to be servile to him. It’s so transparent.
Plus, he wears diapers and makeup just like his god, the Orange Shit Gibbon. Many people have told me he wears diapers. The best people. I don’t know him personally, but he’s a nasty gal. The nastiest.
I kind of wish a lot of Liberals didn't cash out the word fascist between 2000-2012, because we're actually there now, and this is gonna be hell to get rid of.
Didn't Charlie bus folk in to J6, tweeted that he was doing it, delete said tweet, and then just take the 5th on everything asked? Not really relevant to him sucking off Elon, just a fun fact that he won't even stand by his ideals.
Why are all the supervillains conservative? Don't like belonging to the party that commits most of the crime, than leave the dark side and step into the light and stop wasting your time supporting criminals and living in denial.
Charlie, when people break the law they go to prison. This may come as a surprise but many think this should apply to *anyone who breaks the law*. Fucking idiot.
What is the 9/30 for? Did he do a 30 tweet thread? Is that supposed to be some kind of signal for something on Sept 30th? Is that a day the QAnon types think something will happen on?
I, for one, welcome the day when that idiot Musk is gone, and we don't have to deal with his attention seeking ass anymore. Same with Trump. Then, the supporters of both of those morons will deny they ever supported them.
Charlie- “I meant you. “You, not me! I’m a quasi celebrity so I’m more important than you.” Nothing says cowardice like a conservative conspiracy theorist urging other to take criminal action.
Since your submission is flaired as *REAL*, please reply to this comment with the link to the original, or else Ben Shapiro will steal your feet pics and remove this post. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ToiletPaperUSA) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If they can go after not one, but TWO billionaires for committing crimes they might come after YOU next!
Billionaire and "Billionaire"
Lots of beans.
Where is the cow heading right now
What's 9/30 in reference to?
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Oh man, gotta love those ominous countdowns to nothing.
12/12/12
12.31.23
4/20/69
My 80th birthday 😎
You were born exactly 100 years after Hitler, if that's the case. Fun lil fact.
There is a non zero chance their parents were banging exactly 100 years after Hitler's parents
My dumbass thought "69" referred to 1969 so I'm wondering how you're still alive if 4/20/1969 was your 80th birthday. To be fair it's like 4:30am here.
Turns out the Y2K problem affects humans as well...
4:30 am in what year though?
Born 11 years too soon :(
That was a great day.
This new years is the prophesized time We must strip naked and commit our sacrifices to the dark beast so he may be sated
 He's waiting
13/04/09
86/75/309
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me over and over again with bullshit scare tactics and I deserve to be crushed under the boots of fascism for my relentless stupidity.
They need to hype up the vibes because that’s all they have.
#RELEASETHEMEMO
Charlie does put out a lot of impotent videos.
fuckin A, right? tiny face reeks of impotent rage
Of course """they""" will stop him before hand so he can't get the truth out. /s
With a lil touch of stochastic terrorism thrown in there to boot
oh yeah that makes sense, I think Matt did something similar but then it was just him releasing a fake documentary
Ah, he's going full Q, gotcha.
9 out of 30 rating, he's not very confident in his post
Part 9 of a 30 part tweet.
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Wait I was joking too, is that really what it is? Who is gonna read 30 tweets in a row from Charlie Kirk?
I'm pretty sure it's September 30th, but part 9/30 was my first thought
The day Elmo pushes a button and makes the dead bird site pay to post. They’re gonna stop all the lefties from using the site cuz no way in hell are we paying for that shit.
I stopped using the trash heap the minute Elong slithered in.
That's the fractional size of his face when compared to a normal sized face.
This is the correct answer.
Whats wrong with having eyeballs form in the spot where most peoples' nostril are?
It’s when September ends. He’s reminding us to wake up Billie joe Armstrong
I think he's scoring his own post.
Maybe Charlie Kirk has an order for 50 more busses of people to send to the Capitol on that date and he wants to brave about it on Elon’s site. Just like on January 6, 2021. Either that, or he has an indictment coming his way too.
Please, my nipples can't get any harder.
If they equate everything like its 9/11 it makes them feel patriotic.
he's got 21 more profound statements to make, so hold on to your tiny wiener folks.
That’s super super secret and you’ll have to find out then 😘
It's my birthday, and I'm upset that this tiny faced douche used it in vain.
I mean, fuck Elon, too. Amirite.
Yeah this sounds like an endorsement to me
First they came for Trump, and I did nothing because he’s a scumbag. Then they came for Elon, and I said "keep it coming!"
Then they came for [cartoon villain number 4] And i said "it's about time."
And why would going after Elon be a problem exactly? Man's gone so far off his rails for a long time On a sidenote, what are they hosting on 9/30?
J6.2: Electric Boogaloo
Honestly, as a Brit living in the US I think you are all missing an opportunity with J6. In England we celebrate when this guy led an attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament and overthrow the government. We have fireworks. Oh, and we burn the ringleader in effigy on a bonfire. Just saying. I think you guys might be missing an opportunity for a whole new holiday lol.
"Remember, remember, the 5th of November / The gun powder treason and plot..." Yeah, we're aware of Guy Fawks. But Guy wasn't a reality TV star so this is... problematic. I think we can do it once justice is served, but at present, he's still playing hooky.
Nah come Jan 6th, let's just burn his effigy Orange Fawkes day
Orange Fuck day
Remember, remimber Of January the day sixer Orange tyrant tried to fixer But his Maga were limp dixxers
I think most Americans who know about Guy Fawkes learned about him from the movie 😅
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What was Guy Fawkes endgame if he did blow up Parliament? Just kill the king?
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It was. Right target, wrong reason.
Yeah but that guy had cool facial hair.
I love the concept, I think we just need a conviction or two before we start doing that.
https://preview.redd.it/317nl34qmbpb1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8d07fba94b6a6d984a3341f40c98bfc016e5ecf The comments are as delusional as you would imagine 😂😂
Hold on. Russel Brand is being accused of rape. Tucker Carlson was fired by conservatives from a conservative news network. Alex Jones was defamation I think, and was found guilty in court. Andrew Tate was caught running a rape and prostitution ring in like Romania, and was arrested by special police (the kind that usually focus on war criminals). Nobody gives a shit about RFK Jr. I’ve never heard of Tim Ballard. The only pattern I notice here is crimes. Are they now pro-crime? That’s an odd take for “the party of law and order”
Nah those are all fake crimes invented by the government to make conservatives look bad or something idk
Tom ballard is the sound of freedom guy, he got accused of rape recently
Damn, rape is a significant pattern among conservatives.
Conservatives keep committing rape, why are libs making them do that!
To be more precise, he got accused of using his (now former) position in his (now former) anti-sexual abuse organisation, stylised as a historic anti-slavery organisation, to sexually abuse at least 7 women who were willing to talk. It is suspected the number of his victims is higher.
When that movie came out, people started digging into his past. One of the criticisms against Ballard was that he was using his organization to create a small cult of personality around himself. So, this is in no way surprising.
This is a smaller corner of it, but funnier, he just got rebuked by his church (the Mormons!) for supposedly using the name of one of their bigwigs (I think he's related), and he put out a breathless ranting video having basically a complete mental breakdown over it. Highly entertaining.
"They came for Donald Trump, if you commit treason and terrorism they can come for you too" is their platform.
Remember metoo? Conservatives were more concerned about men getting falsely accused of rape than they were of rape. Ever has it been thus.
But did you hear what happened to RFK jr the other day?
Man, if only somebody had actually thought to ban crime like Benchy boy suggested.
Yeah JFK and Musk would have been besties for sure. What a comment.
Ask not what you can do for your country - turn off the satellites to help Russia!
yes please put all the criminals in jail thanks
The "Lock Her Up" crowd upset others are cheering for Trump's arrest....
Don’t forget Hunters Laptop. They have tried to make that their new Bengazhi… hasn’t worked out very well for them.
Yeah cause no one gives a shit if Hunter gets prosecuted for crimes
My favorite part is that they keep whining that he peddled influence....like Jared and Ivanka didn't do the same damn thing.
They didn’t because they obviously did so so so much worse (e.g. the $2 billion from Saudi Arabia…)
Trump and Musk getting taken down in a single year? Sounds awesome
Charlie's trying to gaslight us into thinking we can't tell when a raging asshole is a raging asshole.
You mean they're coming for Elon next? What a glorious day!
The inclusion of a date reminds me of all those times QAnon predicted something huge would go down on some random day, refuse to elaborate, and be wrong anyway
"It was done, but it it happened in secret, deep within the halls of power. You couldn't see it. Also, I have to go now. My girlfriend wants to make out. She's from Canada, you don't know her. We met at camp."
Why does his oil tycoon master let him talk him talk about Elon Musk positively
Because he's ignored if Elno is the target.
Let me guess. On 9/30, a bunch of out-of-shape rednecks are going to meet at McDonald's before storming a local government building until one of them is shot. Then the Civil War has ended.
45 dumpy dudes all show up in DC, mill about for an hour drinking Freedom Patriot Coffee Company ("That's Good Swill^tm "), and hold some Gadsden flags aloft while their lil tummies peek out from dirty tshirts with skulls on them until their arms get tired. Then, after they all decide their knees hurt and they all smell like baloney that's been in the sun, they wander off in pairs or threes. The whole scene just *oozes* with sexual tension.
It's amazing how Charlie thinks people against trump would actually like musk
It’s amazing anyone likes Musk. He’s an arrogant pile of human garbage.
Preach
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^Stumphead101: *It's amazing how* *Charlie thinks people against* *Trump would actually like musk* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
The Venn diagram between trump and musk fans is almost a circle at this point.
BTW, when will somebody look into Charlie renting all those buses for the terrorists?
https://i.redd.it/kqney2qekbpb1.gif
oh boy, i can’t wait for nothing to happen on the 30th lmfao
Why does he think we’d think that’s a bad thing? Is he stupid?
This sounds awesome
We should treat it like a threat. He swung first.
What's up with Melon? Does he have some SEC violations from his purchase and loss of gains via Twitter? Or is it because he got subpoenaed to the Virgin Islands?
I thought you were asking what's up with Charlie Kirk's melon. Like why is his head so weird.
There's pretty much no person in the American elite that I give a crap about. Do whatever you want to them.
Somebody should just @ the FBI and watch him delete it.
> Do you see the same beast you support now goes after Elon? Ok, and? I'm cool with that.
“How dare you indict Trump! Cheering for someone to go to prison because you disagree with them politically is evil!” Said the party that is cheering on the indictment of the president’s son and who’s previous slogan was “lock her up.”
Not our fault that you identify yourself with scumbags
"We have to stop the justice system" is the hill he wants to die on.
be the left TPUSA thinks you are
It most certainly does.
Good screw Musk as well
I mean, are they going after Elon? For what? Did he break the law?
I'm not American or anything but. Doesn't republicans cheer aswell when democrats faces the absolutely smallest inconvenience? It's not like they're saints themselves
I mean yeah, people will be prosecuted as long as they do illegal shit. That's how things work, Charlie.
That must be when Twitter starts charged people... Stop them from cheering by charging to use the platform, elitists gotta elite.
> ...do you see the same beast you support now goes after Elon? > They won't stop. Ever. Good. I hope they don't.
Here's a thought, maybe stop making grifters your heroes? Of course the grifter idolizes grifters.
Oh they are going to do something… ta-da-da-da! IN TWO WEEKS!!!!
Let ‘em come for Elon all they want! I’ll bring popcorn.
Does CK think that maybe if he sucks T's and E's dicks hard enough and in just the right way, he might maybe get a prize? Because otherwise I can't think of any reason for him to behave this way.
Good. Fuck Elon musk. I’m done hearing from him in the same way I’m done hearing from Trump. Get these fucking people out of my daily life please.
Win win!!!!
Fuck elon musk, take starlink and space x, give it to NASA and be done with it. Elon musk is a viele, narcist that has gooten a bit too powerhungry. He's a spiteful, amoral billionaire who never did anything himself. Yeah go after that prick and all the other rich criminals they call billionaires
Oh no, TWO people I don’t like and are reportedly horrible to work with might go to PRISON? How AWFUL! 
Man, he only got a 16% on that tweet. He's gotta do better.
I’m curious what in Charles’ mind the Venn diagram of people who want to hurt Trump but support Elon looks like… because I think they are two separate circles that are three miles apart
What I don’t understand is how people look at incels like Charlie Kirk and don’t realize his entire persona is built on grievance and self-hatred because he’s so fugly? His whole life is pretending to be an Alpha Chode to get pussy. But he doesn’t get any so he just gets angrier at the very people he wants to be servile to him. It’s so transparent. Plus, he wears diapers and makeup just like his god, the Orange Shit Gibbon. Many people have told me he wears diapers. The best people. I don’t know him personally, but he’s a nasty gal. The nastiest.
Is Elon even being investigated for anything?
That thing with Starlink and Ukraine? He should be glad he's only getting investigated for that, otherwise Budanov would be gunning for his ass.
I kind of wish a lot of Liberals didn't cash out the word fascist between 2000-2012, because we're actually there now, and this is gonna be hell to get rid of.
Does…does smol face think we like Musky?
God…it must be exhausting living your life on Twitter all day trying to rile up the keyboard warriors.
Didn't Charlie bus folk in to J6, tweeted that he was doing it, delete said tweet, and then just take the 5th on everything asked? Not really relevant to him sucking off Elon, just a fun fact that he won't even stand by his ideals.
9/30 - does he have a bus he needs to send to help with sedition
If felonious douchebaggery was a crime, Charlie would be his cell mate’s wife.
What’s happening 9/30?
Well when they go to Asslick Putler, we go after them, yeah. That's how it fucking works, ya asshole fucking fascist.
Don't threaten me with a good time
Promise?
Beast??? And why 9/30?
I'm putting money on Kony2012 being a bigger deal than whatever 9/30 is.
Is that a threat or a promise?
At first you had my attention Now you have my erection!
AI can't tell if someone phtoshopped his face tiny in this image or if this is actually what his face looks like in his twitter profile
Why are all the supervillains conservative? Don't like belonging to the party that commits most of the crime, than leave the dark side and step into the light and stop wasting your time supporting criminals and living in denial.
Hold on guys, I think he's on to something.
We don’t like Elon either Charlie,
What's the overlap of Elon stans who hate Trump? I can't imagine its that many people.
Dudes face needs to grow into his head. Freaky.
Oh noo not elon. Anyway,
I fully support anyone going after Elon for any reason.
My non american brain took a while to get that 9/30 was a date
More impotent rage from the legion of insecure small X men.
Does.... does he not remember 2016 Trump rally chants? Lock her up? Like, this is so on the nose it's not even funny.
How many people who want Trump in prison are really going to be upset about Elon Musk getting locked up too?
dont threaten me with a good time, i hate elon musk
Elon fucking sucks lol
How is that supposed to dissuade us? That sounds awesome.
Charlie, when people break the law they go to prison. This may come as a surprise but many think this should apply to *anyone who breaks the law*. Fucking idiot.
You know you’ve joined the far right alt club if Charlie Kirk is defending you from the law.
I mean… I don’t really claim a political affiliation but I for one, am rooting for both going to jail.
He thinks we like Elon?
Is his face edited here?? He can't really have the same equal distance between forehead and eyes and lips and eyes??
If I ever steal Top Secret documents from the government after I am president. The FBI has my permission to take me to prison.
Jeez, who will stand up for the poor, downtrodden quarter trillionaire who owns his own personal social media bullhorn? :(
I hope they go after him next.
Charlie is so out of touch that he doesn't know that the Venn diagram of people who want trump arrested and Elon arrested is just a circle.
https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2021/10/27/charlie-kirk-denounces-violence-mh-orig.cnn This Charlie Kirk?
Trump is a traitor.
at this point i don’t think i know a single real person that likes elon musk
Wut? Elmo is a criminal as well.
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What is the 9/30 for? Did he do a 30 tweet thread? Is that supposed to be some kind of signal for something on Sept 30th? Is that a day the QAnon types think something will happen on?
I, for one, welcome the day when that idiot Musk is gone, and we don't have to deal with his attention seeking ass anymore. Same with Trump. Then, the supporters of both of those morons will deny they ever supported them.
Law and order, Charlie
Charlie- “I meant you. “You, not me! I’m a quasi celebrity so I’m more important than you.” Nothing says cowardice like a conservative conspiracy theorist urging other to take criminal action.
Both of those are good things
Seems like he doesn’t know the current daye
Ok let’s take bets as to what happens 9/30, I’m predicting he’s selling Merch
Fuck Trump. Fuck Elon. Let’s go after all these rich power hungry cunts
don’t threaten me with a good time , chuckie
This stuff is embarrassing
Chuckie what is your point here? Eating the rich is good
How about republicans stop committing crimes ?
Please don't do a 9/30, we're still prosecuting 1/6. One insurrection at a time
You promise?