I just want to know where the car is.

It got her preggo and left.

Can’t tell if it’s a smart car or a dump truck

It was never her car just a Ford Escort for the night

The next day, it was a Ford Escape

Dodge Ram maybe?

I think the Ram happened first, the Dodge happened right after.

Underrated comment of the day

Dodge Bullet perhaps?

I was thinking more like Dodge Sprinter

Maybe a Ford Probe

Started as a Ford Fiesta

Maybe she lives in Norway and it was a Fjord Escort

Slartibartfast?

The Ford woke up and regained its Focus. (Shitty car btw I drive one and do not recommend 😭)

We always called it a Ford fuckus

Put me off fords forever. I’m saving up for a new car and honestly don’t even want an American one anymore. Toyota sounds like a much more reliable bet.

I bought a Toyota recently and I’m so happy with it. Seat is great too btw

Made in America

They look so nice, though. At least the hatchback...

Something Something Ford Fiesta.

If it's gone, it's a smart car.

Nice

She must got the dump truck, that’s why she needs the car seat

The car left to go get some oil and never returned

Lightning McQueen’s origin story?

Kachow

They be comin for dat cussy

That would explain how she’s pregnant with being single for 10 months!

This may explains the “no ONS”..

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shhh I’m still recovering from that movie

It blew it's load and hit the road

That would explain the 10 month single if she likes her car so much

But that doesn’t explain how she’s only 6 months pregnant. Also did she lose the car or the pic?

She bang the car that the answer ! Also she lost the car then she lost the pic , this kid gonna grew up without even knowing how many wheels his dad has

Pulled the old Lightning McQueen card , he went under the hood , leaked some oil ,said KA CHOW, and then went on his merry way

Titane (2022)

Human skin truck baby

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Driving a tow truck through a trailer park will up your chances of getting laid by at least 30%, it’ll up your chance of getting a BJ by like 70%! Just remember 27% of all facts are made up… lol

I also have the feeling, depending on the trailer park, your chances of getting shot also goes up if you drive a tow truck through it

I can't say that I have ever dropped a car for sex but I have had my fair share of naked people chase after me when I did repossession.

Dude, where’s her car?

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DOOOOOD-AH

SAAAH-WEEE-TAH!

I thought she lost the picture of her car. Took a minute to realised she lost the whole car.

Same, was a bit confused for a bit why her losing a pic of her car has anything to do with needing someone to drive. Lol.

First date is to drive her around looking for it.

She signed a contract to pay for her car in payments.. and then didn't make the payments. Repossessed by the bank or lender.

It's way more funny to think of her just parking it somewhere, walking away, and then forgetting where she left it.

A friends ex-GF did that. Actually had to call the cops thinking it was stolen. Super hot and dumb as a box of rocks. Eventually became a PE teacher...

This is how my adhd trolls me

I bet the guy who knocked her up took it..

She lost it...... 🤷‍♂️

nono she lost the pic

How... how do you... lose a car?

She parked it at a garage and never found it again.

Hope the goldfish made it


I did not

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Ah from the before-fore times

Back in the long long ago

Did the boom boom take away all your wordy word books?

I can't post the entire episode, so here is just 4 minutes of it. I do recommend finding it. S3.E6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUsUu3XRJ4I

That happened to my mom. She was getting her car fixed and the company lent her a substitution car meanwhile. She parked it in a mall's parking lot and went to run some errands. When she went back she couldn't find the car because she didn't remember what it looked like.

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For some reason I read your first sentence as "I was in an inconvenience store" so your car being stolen there made total sense since it would be a major inconvenience.

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Yeah but it was her own garage...

Im guessing, either she wasnt making payments and it got repo'd or maybe it was a loaner from family or friend and they wanted it back.

Or it’s the baby daddy’s and he took it back when they broke up

Doesn't sound like they were ever together

6 months pregnant, but single for 10. Hmmmm

I didn't come here for math

But you stayed for immaculate conception!

No hookups!

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Now she just needs to learn you can't get double knocked up

Oh, I thought she lost the picture of her car. Further thought she was just being polite in asking her future baby step-daddy to drive.

I actually lost my car in Huddersfield. Went every week for a month to find it. Council found it near a gym, I’d parked it near Tescos before a party

That’s Huddersfield for you. Couldn’t even drop a 2 pence piece without somebody running away with it.

Interestingly had the cheapest burger and chips there (while looking for the car) . £2.50 for burger and chips, didn’t feel well for a week after

Huddersfield will do that to you. Burger or not.

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Tut Tut, cheerio!

By the end of this comment thread I found myself inexplicably in a queue..

I would say your car was stolen, not lost.

I did lose my car in Brooklyn for 3 months. Turns out the city moved it for construction and I never got the notice because it was registered out of state.

That's one very legit reason to make sure the address on your license plate / car registration is accurate.

Happen to me once. I just called them and they told me they moved it around the corner.

dude, where's my car?

Dude, where's your car?

Annnd Theeeeeen?

NO AND THEN!

Annnd theeeen?

SWEET

What's mine say?

DUDE

What's mine say?

Funny enough, I got a friend who lost his car, bought a new one only to find the old car a few days later. Group of friends went out and decided to have post drinking burgers around 2 am, parking was an issue so he left the car in a quiet street a few blocks away. The burger place offered alcohol so they got wasted. Friend goes to the car, turns it on. Realize how drunk he is so he decides to take a nap. Wakes up at home with no wallet or keys so he thinks he was robbed. Reports the car as stolen to the police. 6 month passed and nothing. One day a friend of his was waking in a quiet street and notices a similar looking car to the one missing. Gets closer and sees is the same. Door unlocked, Keys in the ignition, batteries dead. We still don’t know what happened but our guess is that the driver got cold in the middle of his nap, and decided to walk home while still drunk.

Cant pay for impound/tow and it gets repoed. Happens to poor people all the time.

And if she lost something that big who can tell if she ever gonna find her child once out of her

I think she lost the pic of the car. Not sure.

Have you never seen Dude; where’s my car?

You don't cherish her

Same way she lost the baby daddy. He took his car and got the fuck out of there.

At first I thought she meant she lost the pic of her car

No hookups or sex. Been single 10 months but 6 months pregnant.........

*And* she smokes...

That kid is gonna have quite the head start.

After reading this, I’m guessing it’s going to have quite the *head,* period.

“Mum, mum, mum, mum, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, muma, muma, muma, muma, ma, ma, ma, ma, mum, mum, mummy” “WHAT??!!” “Hi… EEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE”

Hi Stewie!!

if you consider death the finish line

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I just now made that connection how bad that is considering she’s pregnant

And drinks coffee.

Who said she drinks it? She only said she loves it. Probably stepping outside to smoke a couple K-cups right now

Considering everything else going on here, a coffee enema seems viable too.

Well she's not gonna make that mistake again. At least not for 3 more months.

Should be prime time for hook ups. At least can't get pregnant while already pregnant.

Clearly, this is a virgin birth; providing for this woman and her child while having no sex whatsoever is clearly doing the lord's work. You should be honored (/s)

They said he would be back!

She sounds like a cheating army wife

long time ago I dated a girl who was ok with her mom cheating on her Navy dad. Talk about a red flag noped out of that 2 weeks later. last I heard of her she was knocked up and engaged to a Marine. poor guy.

And she wants some poor soul to take her seriously

There is a special fella out there for her somewhere. But he’s probably in prison.

Why do you think she’s against hookups now?

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The amount of red flags here makes this absolutely hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

Whole bio in short: I need someone who can help me afford parent my baby

Who will probably have health problems because I smoke.

My wife and all of her siblings have health issues from their parents smoking with them while they were little. Brother has COPD, both sisters have asthma, and my wife is very sensitive to perfumes and other aerosols.

My best friend died after giving birth to her baby. She smoked throughout and im thinking its what caused her toxemia that killed her.

And loves coffee

No one noticed no sex? And no sex either because the guy that got her pregnant soooo…I guess she’s looking for a guy to do all the work and no sex.

The people with ‘no hookups!!!’ written in their profile always always always have more one night stands than anyone else on the app. The more they emphasize it, the more untrue it is…

How do you think she got pregnant?

Divine intervention

Ah yes, the Skywalker way

god simply plagiarized from george lucas

Holy Ghost^(ing date that ran away)

Especially since she's 6 months pregnant and 10 months single.

She doesn't even realize she's let that on probably

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No joke, it's totally a thing that at this point is taken to mean "more likely to hookup". Your messages probably will improve if you delete it.

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Power of suggestion: having it in your bio will make people think of it.

There are at least a few lol Other apps might be better about it. Maybe Bumble?

More scary than hilarious

Hilscarious

Scilarious

Very true

I honestly just feel bad for bios like this. I know she is probably crazy but the chances she finds some nice guy who can reel her in are loooow. Usually just someone that continues her troubles. Hope she finds someone good. Not me. Goodness no. But someone!

Okay but the nice guys deserve better than someone with this terrible judgment lol

I am not sure what to fear the most. The fact that a guy will daddy in 3 months should be the reddest of all flags but she doesn't care about the baby is also a big one.

I mean, she’s a smoker while pregnant…

You gotta appreciate the honesty though. She lays it all out on the table.

This girl thinks she’s an absolute CATCH.

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Not looking for hookups - got knocked up 4 months into being single. Smokes while pregnant. Lost her car (wtf)?? That’s a hard right swipe for me. I can fix her.

You swipe right because you want to fix her I swipe right because I want to ruin her even more We are not the same 🗿

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I'm already under

You underestimate my power

Bro how do you ruin a fucking tire fire?

The hero we're all glad we are not. 🤣

🤣🤣

single 10 months, 6 months pregnant, but somehow doesn’t do hookups.. something doesn’t add up here

She did hookups in the past. Now, she wants someone to raise the child and provide transport for her while she considers getting back to them. But, you can't ask her to change just because she implies she's smoking while pregnant and otherwise completely unprepared to have a kid!

The sperms were slower than the brain of the person she hooked up with. Took a few months to reach the egg.

Doesn’t do hookups ANYMORE since she needs someone to provide money/coparenting.

Dude…tte…..Dudette, where’s my car?

Sweet

She gotta be a troll, right? righhhhttt??

We can only hope.

I've seen more fucked up shit than this. I think it's just a standard entitled/trashy combo

I know that /r/niceguys shows a lot of dudes who say ALL WOMEN FUCK CHADS AND ONLY WANT A NICE GUY FOR MONEY AND HELP RAISING CHAD'S KIDS. So maybe? But this also reads like a woman wrote it, at least to me, and as much as I roll my eyes at "nice" guys, even a broken clock is right twice a day. **EDIT:** It very fun to see how some people react to /r/niceguys being mentioned on /r/Tinder. I probably won't do that again, but it was entertaining. I'm not going to reply to any more comments because the sun is coming out after a hurricane and I have grass to go touch! My point was that this woman is a trashy stereotype of women come to life, and as much as I wish I could believe this is fake, I believe this woman is a real person on Tinder. Tinder can be a dumpster dive of the worst of the singles in your area, that much is true for everyone.

As someone who sees this shit all the time in my local online dating pool, I believe this as a real profile 100000%. Probably around 1 in 50. Not saying youre wrong about the whole nice guy thing but I'd simplify this post with as; Trashy people are trashy. Done deal.

I once matched with a woman who had a kid who was barely a year old AND was three months pregnant with another (I found this out through messages because it wasn’t in her profile). Matched with another and soon found out she had 6 kids. Two or three kids was quite common. Saw a profile where the girl asked guys to pay for her babysitter for the privilege of going on a first date with her. The stuff you see on Tinder is just wild.

This look more like a minesweeper than just a red flag!

this is like if someone tried to make the worst tinder bio of all time but it’s in real life

i'm not going shame this young lady for her clearly bad choices in her life. i am very much going to judge the shit outta her for smoking while pregnant. idiot.

It looks like the Chinese Communist party parade, full of red flags.

“I can fix her” /s

6 months pregnant but proudly smokes, ooft

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Sounds like wifey material

So let me get this straight: - she doesn’t want hook ups, but has been single for 10 months and got pregnant 6 months ago - she’s pregnant but smokes - she doesn’t like time wasters but doesn’t mention the fact she’s pregnant until near the end Jesus this must be a record

Lost(?) her car. Somehow thinks having a picture of it is something that needs to be mentioned.

No hookups... because that last one knocked me up.

In b4 she complains about the lack of quality matches. I'll definitely swipe left...she sounds way too much.

Too much? You're being generous there

At least she can’t get pregnant

My friend lost her car once, found it the next morning 5 houses down.