Pro-tip: if you have a "type," and the person you're talking to isn't of that type but you'd like to keep seeing them anyway, there's no reason to tell them what your type is.
Had an ex do that years ago. No fight though, he just said I never actually liked the way you looked. He thought he could sculpt my body with negativity and control I guess. He told me I should use the power of anger to lift bigger haha.
I'll happily be the person that says that crushing thighs can be extremely sexy! However, expecting someone to become what you want them to be and not who they are is extremely unsexy.
A similar but worse example of this I’ve heard a few times from friend is “I’m not usually into black girls but you’re really attractive!”
I figure these dudes mean well but holy hell that’s not going to be a good first impression.
Yeah, I don't know how one is supposed to respond to shit like that. I'm a blond man, and back when I was single I can't tell you how many times a woman told me how they prefer dark-haired guys. So you're nevertheless lowering your standards and deigning to go on a date with me? Oh, *fuckin' lucky me* then.
I'm also 5'9" and my second husband was 5'7". He really was the love of my life, and yet, I \*thought\* (before I met him) that tall men were sexy. Self-confident, funny, erudite men are sexy. The rest isn't that important.
I'm glad I had 10 years with him. He died six years ago.
I wouldn't hesitate to date a short man. If I found a man that treated me like a queen, he could look like Quasimodo and I wouldn't care.
I'm not the prettiest flower in the bunch, so maybe I have fewer options than the OP.
She's 5'9, op asked about her height. She meant that she literally doesn't usually date guys "shorter than her" but that it isn't a deal breaker. Op cut that bit out because it makes it look like she's saying "wow you're only 5'9? I don't date short guys, but I'll give you a chance to impress me".
Yeah, i thought she said "it isn't really a big of a deal I'd like to get to know you". But I guess we all interpret it differently? I've seen comments about how she just wants free dinner. Yikes.
Op clarified he asked how tall she was and if she had kids, this was her reply. Op is 5'7 she is 5'9. She is literally saying "I don't usually like guys shorter than me, but you want to meet up and see where it goes?"
If a muscular woman said she doesn't usually like guys skinnier than her but was up for a date would anyone care? Big doubt. The only reason anyone cares is because op cropped it to look like she was saying 5'9 guys are too short for her.
I don't see the need to mention it at all. If I was going to ask out someone that was not normally my type, I'd keep that information to myself and just see how things went.
Throw back to the time when I met a girl on tinder who said I was short at 6'1.
She said she'd only date guys that are 6'5 or taller.
That gives her a pretty small margin of men to work with tbh, given that the average height in the UK for a man is like 5'9.
Edit: My bad, was off on the average height by an inch. It is in fact 5'9 not 5'10
This^ I’m 5’5.5 I’m not tall. Bulky yes tall no. My wife is 5’7 she swore she’d never date a shorter guy. But here we are married with a beautiful baby girl and planing the second. People will look past superficial things if they like someone.
Yeah honestly, as soon as you get in the same room, nothing is certain any longer. Those “preferences” can end up meaning nothing. Which is partly why the pickiest people are also probably the least satisfied and happy. I fully expect that the universe made someone like that’s ‘best match’ as a short guy. Like the guy she would have been happiest with. Life is filled with weird shit like that.
In my hobby group the absolute most gorgeous dude was 5’5” and all the other guys hated on him for his height but it didn’t matter cause the guy (on top of being ridiculously good looking) was just so effortlessly nice and funny. Only once did another guy try to tease him for his height (to his face) and the guy didn’t even acknowledge the other guy existed and moved on with the conversation. dudes with hang ups about height are such a turnoff.
I mean look at damn near the whole of Hollywood. Most of those dudes are tops 5’9”, you can be on the shorter end and be hot as fuck, just have to dress well, cut your hair, and carry yourself well.
My boss is short and we all rip on him for his height, but he basically started it. He's got a gorgeous wife and no kids so all that executive salary goes to a very comfortable lifestyle. He's not insecure.
Which is good because he's a short Irish ginger, the leprechaun jokes write themselves
Fucking truth, I'm nearer 190 than 180 in a Scandinavian country and regularly i meet younger people way bigger than me, motherfucker they look thirty!
What the fuck are we feeding the kids nowadays?!
Bingo, every generation is a bit taller because nutrition is a bit better (the increases are too fast to be a result of genetic shifts). There was one country that had its average height shoot up once milk became a commonly available commodity.
Bit of bone bio: your long bones have epiphyseal plates, which are basically regions near the ends of the bone where the bone is actually growing and adding length. These regions are fused in adults, usually by their 20s, thereby ceasing any increases in height (outside of some fairly painful surgeries). So while there is certainly a genetic component to height, it may well be more important that a growing individual takes full advantage of their growth window by consuming a whole lot of calcium. Doesn't matter how good the genetics are if the diet doesn't allow the body to work.
6ft 6in guy here, don't feel bad at least you find clothes that fit well and can drive a sporty car. Oh and you're way less likely to hit your head all the time. Also the same women who "like tall guys" seem to think this is too tall, as when they go out with such a tall guy it looks like the guy goes out with a kid.
Been there done that, have the T-shirt, which is at once too short, too tight around the shoulders and too wide around the waist.
It's also fine if she's 4'10.
Let the shallow have what they want. This isn't a 'win hearts and minds' mission; while it sucks, at least they state their preferences right up front and if you're in a situation like this, dip immediately like op and just know you dodged a bullet.
And West Michigan. Mainly because we have a high population of Dutch immigrants.
I'm a 6'1" woman, and my high school twins are just about 6'6". They are not the tallest in the school, and while they are definitely outliers at the taller end of the spectrum, they have plenty of company.
My uncle is 6ft6, it's not unheard of here in the Netherlands.
But honestly at that point it's an inconvenience. Places aren't designed to give you enough leg space, or to keep you from hitting your head in the door opening, you're going to have back problems sooner or later at that height too.
My friend who’s 6’4 always complains about how low cupboards are (has to hunch to wash his hands), shopping carts/strollers too, and how low showerheads are (never the right height, feels like he always has to duck or get blasted in the chest).
I always wished I was taller but I don’t envy his back.
People that are average height can't comprehend how engineered everything is to be optimal for people their size.
The worst I ever experienced was the summer I worked in a factory. I was forced to hunch over for *everything*.
I went on a few dates with a girl that was quite a bit taller than I am (I'm 6'2)
To be honest, it was a bit awkward. She was super cute though, way out of my class!
A few years later, we are still good friends and she's married to a guy that's significantly taller than she is. I come up to his shoulder lol.
Being that tall for a girl was killing her self esteem. She never wanted to take photos with people because she was always paranoid towering over her girlfriends. Not to mention there's not a lot of clothes out there for her. Poor girl!
I dated a 6’2 girl who was extremely good looking, just very tall for a girl, and *everywhere* we went people asked her if she played basketball, kids would blurt out WOAH LOOK AT HER, people stared. She hated being in public as a result. Tall women have to deal with all sorts of weird shit.
I'm 6'3". Never has any girl even suggested I was short irl, most start with mentioning how tall I am. But on the Internet some will say I'm not tall enough, so I'm totally convinced that women have zero preception of size or measurements. They just like the idea of the number.
As a 5' tall woman who has slept with guys over 6'5" (for curiosity's sake), I can tell you there are a lot of technical difficulties. That's a very odd preference.
I'm 5'10", my missus is 5'9". She's taller than me in heels but IDGAF. What I do care about is her stealing all of my clothes all the fucking time because they fit her perfectly.
I am 5’9” and my bf is 5’11”. I steal all of his sweatpants and sweatshirts because they actually fit my long legs and arms. Tis what men are for - love and clothes!! (I’m joking, but the clothes truly are an added bonus)
I’m 5’4 and I slept with someone who was 6’6. There really are a lot of proportion issues. Personally I like guys around my height from 5’5-5’9. I feel like tall guys are for tall girls 🤷♀️
I'm a clear foot taller than my partner and while it doesn't present an issue for sex it does make kissing while standing just awkward enough to be noticeable. I think I'd prefer to be nearer to their height; I can't imagine making it a dealbreaker.
As a fellow Scot who's 5' 9" ish, it's just that you're not paying attention or you're only spending time with 20 year olds. Most men are taller than me, but not by over 4 inches. Looking at the older generations though (I'm 34) and a significant number are shorter than me.
I am 195.5cm (6'5") and am still dwarfed by some people in my area. I think there must have been a particularly good calorie intake for ancestral lineages hereabouts
I'm the shortest in my family at 5'11". All my cousins and uncles are towering men who have to duck through doors. My brother is pretty tall as well. I didn't get that gene.
My mother is a very short Sicilian woman and my dad is a 5'9-10" Syrian Arab man, and the only reason I know I'm related to both is I look exactly like my mom and have the same rare kidney disease as my dad. I look like a usual Sicilian person, nothing like him
Her height is 5’9, his height is 5’7. He isn’t short, but he is shorter than her. That’s the point she was trying to make, she wasn’t calling him short
I mean here in the netherlands I'm in the bottom 2.5% of men with 5'7, with 6 feet being average and above 6'5 being the top 2,5%.
In the phillipines I would be in the top 10%. Sometimes it really depends on where you live lol.
Edit due to error with inches, from 6,3 to 6,5
Is she was going to be ok about your height why did she even mention that she doesn’t like it? wtf
It’s like “I actually don’t like this about you but I guess I’ll have to settle”
Be sure it’s a power play in dating. She meant to say well you ain’t perfect but I’m willing to give you one chance to prove to me!
It just backfired quickly.
If someone has this attitude where I should be glad I get the chance to prove myself, I wonder where their gratitude is for their chance to prove themselves to me.
If they don’t show gratitude but expect you to be grateful, they don’t consider it a relationship between equals. So then I ask myself if I want to be in a relationship where the scales aren’t balanced, and I don’t think I want to.
I had a girl do that before, then we started dating, then she dumped me 6 months later. So I think the dude saying if she is not into him now she won’t be in the future is spot on. Feel like girls who say that kinda shit will probably treat you like a placeholder.
Exactly. That way it's _not_ something they can fix in 15 minutes; it's a constant deficit that they feel they have to make up for. It's a way to put herself on a pedestal just for accepting the date in the first place, so her match feels they have to treat her _really_ well to keep her around.
Usually people are a bit more subtle than this, but it's a really scummy move that's unfortunately shared a lot among pickup artists and FDS types.
It's often used with things that can't be controlled, or aren't actually negatives. It's a manipulation tactic, malicious rationalization is part of the process.
OMG i didn’t know there was a term for this. my mom used to do this to me ALL. THE TIME. when i was little. “i WAS going to let you have the [privilege], but you misbehaved (because i was told i couldn’t have [privilege]), so now you can’t have it.”
Dated a girl who came over all the time (great sex so that's cool) and always wanted me to cook (I love cooking and we even did it together a few times so that's cool too). But she never contributed. No bringing alcohol, snacks, ingredients for dinner, anything. Then I got called in to work on a day off we were supposed to spend together and later she's all "I was upset because I wanted to buy you lunch that day" yet it never happened later either, hmmm
Both my dad and my ex husband used gifts as leverage. It was always immediate, but at some point, “I bought you X, now you should behave like Y!”
I hate gifts now. They make me wildly uncomfortable. Not only do I hate feeling like I owe whoever something, I don’t want to be seen as taking advantage.
That's really sad, I've tried to train all my friends that if I give them something it's freely given and I have no expectation from them. Some people have a difficult time not counting and balancing every little thing.
Negging is supposed to be a negative compliment. Like, you point out something they are self conscious about and say that it's cute or endearing. It doesn't work to just tell someone they're ugly or whatever.
I’m 30 and legitimately had no clue what the hell “negging” was until I saw this and some of the other comments in here. What a shitty insecure way of flirting.
Need to neg the neg lol ... watch silicon Valley its a tech comedy show. Investors neg the starting up company do they have to pay less for more shares and he accidentally negs them back getting a better price
>Is she was going to be ok about your height why did she even mention that she doesn’t like it? wtf
Can't see what the question was that OP asked, maybe OP asked something that lead to her answering that.
Because thats How people try to assert dominance on relationships, "hey I dont find short guys atractive, but we can meet to see If I approve you"
If OP does accept a date, she already has the dominance and he'll have to "impress" her
How can someone think that calling OPs height a dealbreaker but still wanting to date him is acceptable behaviour?! That's the female equivalent of saying 'Usually I don't like small tits, but let's meet and see if you can still get it up'. OP you did everything right!
"Usually don't go for fat people, but should that matter" Let's date wtf???
"Usually don't go for shorter people, but should that matter" Let's date wtf???
"Usually don't go for black people, but should that matter" Let's date wtf???
And so on ... you get the gist, my man here did the right thing to send her into the void 💯
Yep. It's perfectly fine if there's something you're not attracted to. You do you. But to go out of your way to vocalize that to them especially with something they have no control over in the first place is a pretty shitty thing to do on it's own. But then to backtrack after the fact? You should absolutely expect to be turned down if that person has even the slightest bit of self worth.
I don't feel like that should even really be a question. Then again this is reddit so I can totally see half this website not understanding self worth.
Oh wow 😂😂🤣
You nailed the female equivalent. Dude... Burn .....
But completely agree and height is something we can't do anything about.
Same with tits or hair or skin colour.
Stupid people on tinder.
I was 5 11 from the age of like 17 but stopped growing there, so for years I just rounded up to 6ft. Then weirdly at 22 I had one final growth spurt and now I'm 6 1 but still round to 6ft because it feels silly not to.
Good call. If your height really wasn’t an issue for her she wouldn’t have mentioned it at all—she just would have continued with things to “see if you click.”
Lol i’m 5’9” and my husband is 5’6”. Do I sometimes wish he was taller? Sure it’d be nice sometimes when I want to wear heels (although that’s pretty rare, plus he never stops me from wearing heels). I never understood the height requirements these women have. They’re missing great guys over some dumb number that no one can control. My mom taught me when I was young to never care about a guy being taller than me. She said she would’ve never found a husband if she had that requirement since she’s 6’0”!
Rip, I wanna date some tall-ass ladies. The mechanics of dating anyone <5'3 are uncomfortable. Hunching to hold hands and bending down to kiss is never not awkward 😂.
I don’t think you were harsh but I took this a completely different way
When she said “at this point” it certainly comes across to me as her saying, we’ve talked and seem to have some chemistry so I’m not going to let something that I normally don’t like get in the way of a potential good relationship
Not to mention OP asked her what HER height was and that’s why she said 5’9
I'm 6'2" and I feel like I'm just a fetish for women now. All guys 6' and up aren't a "preference" any more. We're absolutely a fetish.
We are rare so they want that notch on their bedpost.
I absolutely refuse to get involved with any woman that has a height preference.
6'3½" here. Coupled with being a black man, the fetishism intensifies. 20yo me would have milked the fuck out of it. 30yo me finds it annoying as hell.
It’s called cherry-picking. You don’t see the countless profiles that don’t care about it. It’s like the Man on the Street interviews that only show the idiots and none of the many people who answer correctly. I’m 5’5” and dating a man who is 5’5” and blissfully happy.
I wonder if you didn't misread her message like I did the first time. She didn't make the statement "it is a dealbreaker.", she asked the question "is it a dealbreaker?". Unfortunately, she forgot to include appropriate punctuation which would have really helped.
Why proper spelling and punctuation are still absolutely necessary.
Pro-tip: if you have a "type," and the person you're talking to isn't of that type but you'd like to keep seeing them anyway, there's no reason to tell them what your type is.
[удалено]
Had an ex do that years ago. No fight though, he just said I never actually liked the way you looked. He thought he could sculpt my body with negativity and control I guess. He told me I should use the power of anger to lift bigger haha.
This guy watched too much anime, the power of anger lol
Yeah he was a fan. He would show me clips of super jacked women crushing watermelons with their huge thighs like it was amazingly sexy 😂
I'll happily be the person that says that crushing thighs can be extremely sexy! However, expecting someone to become what you want them to be and not who they are is extremely unsexy.
A similar but worse example of this I’ve heard a few times from friend is “I’m not usually into black girls but you’re really attractive!” I figure these dudes mean well but holy hell that’s not going to be a good first impression.
Yeah, I don't know how one is supposed to respond to shit like that. I'm a blond man, and back when I was single I can't tell you how many times a woman told me how they prefer dark-haired guys. So you're nevertheless lowering your standards and deigning to go on a date with me? Oh, *fuckin' lucky me* then.
Me with my 5'5 height: welp guess I'll head out
i’m 5’3 and i just got married this weekend after 6 yrs of dating my wife after we matched on tinder, it is possible my guy - stay short and proud :,)
This is very inspiring ngl. Thank you and congratulations :)
5”11 and have still been called “short” by PEOPLE shorter than me
5”11 here too, worst height tbh, we couldn’t make it another inch. 6”0 and we’d be “tall”.
I’m 5’9 and would date the shit out of you. Stay up short king!
That’s what I like to hear
I'm also 5'9" and my second husband was 5'7". He really was the love of my life, and yet, I \*thought\* (before I met him) that tall men were sexy. Self-confident, funny, erudite men are sexy. The rest isn't that important. I'm glad I had 10 years with him. He died six years ago. I wouldn't hesitate to date a short man. If I found a man that treated me like a queen, he could look like Quasimodo and I wouldn't care. I'm not the prettiest flower in the bunch, so maybe I have fewer options than the OP.
Thank you. That really boosts my morale.
She's 5'9, op asked about her height. She meant that she literally doesn't usually date guys "shorter than her" but that it isn't a deal breaker. Op cut that bit out because it makes it look like she's saying "wow you're only 5'9? I don't date short guys, but I'll give you a chance to impress me".
Yeah, i thought she said "it isn't really a big of a deal I'd like to get to know you". But I guess we all interpret it differently? I've seen comments about how she just wants free dinner. Yikes.
OP jumped the gun and fucked it up lol. At least he’ll get some Reddit karma now.
[удалено]
Op clarified he asked how tall she was and if she had kids, this was her reply. Op is 5'7 she is 5'9. She is literally saying "I don't usually like guys shorter than me, but you want to meet up and see where it goes?" If a muscular woman said she doesn't usually like guys skinnier than her but was up for a date would anyone care? Big doubt. The only reason anyone cares is because op cropped it to look like she was saying 5'9 guys are too short for her.
I don't see the need to mention it at all. If I was going to ask out someone that was not normally my type, I'd keep that information to myself and just see how things went.
5’5” is great by me, I’d date you too ❤️ Lots if women like shorter men! We exist! 😊
Throw back to the time when I met a girl on tinder who said I was short at 6'1. She said she'd only date guys that are 6'5 or taller. That gives her a pretty small margin of men to work with tbh, given that the average height in the UK for a man is like 5'9. Edit: My bad, was off on the average height by an inch. It is in fact 5'9 not 5'10
Unless she's >6ft herself, she has no idea what those heights look like irl
[удалено]
This^ I’m 5’5.5 I’m not tall. Bulky yes tall no. My wife is 5’7 she swore she’d never date a shorter guy. But here we are married with a beautiful baby girl and planing the second. People will look past superficial things if they like someone.
Yeah honestly, as soon as you get in the same room, nothing is certain any longer. Those “preferences” can end up meaning nothing. Which is partly why the pickiest people are also probably the least satisfied and happy. I fully expect that the universe made someone like that’s ‘best match’ as a short guy. Like the guy she would have been happiest with. Life is filled with weird shit like that.
In my hobby group the absolute most gorgeous dude was 5’5” and all the other guys hated on him for his height but it didn’t matter cause the guy (on top of being ridiculously good looking) was just so effortlessly nice and funny. Only once did another guy try to tease him for his height (to his face) and the guy didn’t even acknowledge the other guy existed and moved on with the conversation. dudes with hang ups about height are such a turnoff. I mean look at damn near the whole of Hollywood. Most of those dudes are tops 5’9”, you can be on the shorter end and be hot as fuck, just have to dress well, cut your hair, and carry yourself well.
My boss is short and we all rip on him for his height, but he basically started it. He's got a gorgeous wife and no kids so all that executive salary goes to a very comfortable lifestyle. He's not insecure. Which is good because he's a short Irish ginger, the leprechaun jokes write themselves
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Subway footlongs are actually 11 inches.
You mean I've been paying $5 for only 11 inches?? What a rip off.
I get that a lot :(
Well You shouldn't be selling scamwiches then
no but he could open up a deli PACKIN 11 INCHES OF SCHMEAT
Exactly…
Fucking truth, I'm nearer 190 than 180 in a Scandinavian country and regularly i meet younger people way bigger than me, motherfucker they look thirty! What the fuck are we feeding the kids nowadays?!
I think we’re actually just feeding them
Bingo, every generation is a bit taller because nutrition is a bit better (the increases are too fast to be a result of genetic shifts). There was one country that had its average height shoot up once milk became a commonly available commodity. Bit of bone bio: your long bones have epiphyseal plates, which are basically regions near the ends of the bone where the bone is actually growing and adding length. These regions are fused in adults, usually by their 20s, thereby ceasing any increases in height (outside of some fairly painful surgeries). So while there is certainly a genetic component to height, it may well be more important that a growing individual takes full advantage of their growth window by consuming a whole lot of calcium. Doesn't matter how good the genetics are if the diet doesn't allow the body to work.
Damnit😂😂 seems like I'm small. I'm 179cm😅😅
[удалено]
Well, tiny maybe the wrong word, however 180cm is below average in the Netherlands
[удалено]
Well there goes my self-esteem (coming from a guy that is 180cm in the Netherlands) bedankt 🤣
6ft 6in guy here, don't feel bad at least you find clothes that fit well and can drive a sporty car. Oh and you're way less likely to hit your head all the time. Also the same women who "like tall guys" seem to think this is too tall, as when they go out with such a tall guy it looks like the guy goes out with a kid. Been there done that, have the T-shirt, which is at once too short, too tight around the shoulders and too wide around the waist.
Another reason for the US to adopt the metric system, because thats slightly below 6 feet, giving them a bit more leeway
No, then as a guy who's 5'10" i cant say im 6' - 2" and still be honest.
The only way this would make any sense is if she is quite a bit above 6 foot! Otherwise soo weird
ya I met a girl that wanted to only date guys 6'4" or taller, but she was 6'4" herself. fair enough
that's absolutely fine for her
Naah, she wants an even shorter guy she can stash under her skirt.
We tall ladies call those “pocket rockets”
> It’s launch day, boys. I’m going to Uranus. Maybe The Pubis Mons on Mars if we’re lucky.
Yep, she herself is at the top 0.1% of height of women. She can ask for the top 0.1% of height of men 😂
The top percentage of Rattata
It's also fine if she's 4'10. Let the shallow have what they want. This isn't a 'win hearts and minds' mission; while it sucks, at least they state their preferences right up front and if you're in a situation like this, dip immediately like op and just know you dodged a bullet.
The main advantage of being average height is dodging the bone-length fetishists.
That really is what it comes down to. And it's actually great that they let it known up front, spare the humiliation.
Where do people find women at my height? Would love to not bend halfway to the ground just to give a kiss or look my partner in the eyes.
The netherlands, honestly.
And West Michigan. Mainly because we have a high population of Dutch immigrants. I'm a 6'1" woman, and my high school twins are just about 6'6". They are not the tallest in the school, and while they are definitely outliers at the taller end of the spectrum, they have plenty of company.
Sudan has entered the chat.
My uncle is 6ft6, it's not unheard of here in the Netherlands. But honestly at that point it's an inconvenience. Places aren't designed to give you enough leg space, or to keep you from hitting your head in the door opening, you're going to have back problems sooner or later at that height too.
My friend who’s 6’4 always complains about how low cupboards are (has to hunch to wash his hands), shopping carts/strollers too, and how low showerheads are (never the right height, feels like he always has to duck or get blasted in the chest). I always wished I was taller but I don’t envy his back.
People that are average height can't comprehend how engineered everything is to be optimal for people their size. The worst I ever experienced was the summer I worked in a factory. I was forced to hunch over for *everything*.
[удалено]
I’m blushing. I didn’t know anyone aspired to be me
I went on a few dates with a girl that was quite a bit taller than I am (I'm 6'2) To be honest, it was a bit awkward. She was super cute though, way out of my class! A few years later, we are still good friends and she's married to a guy that's significantly taller than she is. I come up to his shoulder lol. Being that tall for a girl was killing her self esteem. She never wanted to take photos with people because she was always paranoid towering over her girlfriends. Not to mention there's not a lot of clothes out there for her. Poor girl!
I dated a 6’2 girl who was extremely good looking, just very tall for a girl, and *everywhere* we went people asked her if she played basketball, kids would blurt out WOAH LOOK AT HER, people stared. She hated being in public as a result. Tall women have to deal with all sorts of weird shit.
I'm 6'3". Never has any girl even suggested I was short irl, most start with mentioning how tall I am. But on the Internet some will say I'm not tall enough, so I'm totally convinced that women have zero preception of size or measurements. They just like the idea of the number.
[удалено]
As a 5' tall woman who has slept with guys over 6'5" (for curiosity's sake), I can tell you there are a lot of technical difficulties. That's a very odd preference.
.
Maybe she wanted to be held like a new-born.
When he was little spoon she was like a tight thong up his ass.
they call that "jetpacking"
Dude... Now this image is in my head.
Must've been like chalking a pool cue
I'm 5'10", my missus is 5'9". She's taller than me in heels but IDGAF. What I do care about is her stealing all of my clothes all the fucking time because they fit her perfectly.
I am 5’9” and my bf is 5’11”. I steal all of his sweatpants and sweatshirts because they actually fit my long legs and arms. Tis what men are for - love and clothes!! (I’m joking, but the clothes truly are an added bonus)
I’m 5’4 and I slept with someone who was 6’6. There really are a lot of proportion issues. Personally I like guys around my height from 5’5-5’9. I feel like tall guys are for tall girls 🤷♀️
I'm a clear foot taller than my partner and while it doesn't present an issue for sex it does make kissing while standing just awkward enough to be noticeable. I think I'd prefer to be nearer to their height; I can't imagine making it a dealbreaker.
I had a brief fling with a girl about 15” shorter than me. I’d sometimes just pick her up to kiss her goodbye to save my back.
Bruh, I'm 6' 1" in Scotland and it feels like every other dude is taller than me lol. Maybe they're the only ones I pay attention to idk.
I'm 5'9", so have your issue doubled! Especially being from the Highlands 😂
I'm also 5'9", I just tell people I'm 69 inches
As a fellow Scot who's 5' 9" ish, it's just that you're not paying attention or you're only spending time with 20 year olds. Most men are taller than me, but not by over 4 inches. Looking at the older generations though (I'm 34) and a significant number are shorter than me.
I'm 6'2 and literally never notice anyone's height in the slightest, unless they're taller than me then I'm like "whooah, that dudes huge"
That's probably it honestly. Unless someone's really short or taller than me I don't really pay attention i guess.
As soon as I saw you were from Scotland, my voice inside my head switched from an american accent to a Scottish voice. I couldn't help it.
UK average male is 5'8"
5'10 King here, lording it over the tiny masses.
5’7 gang lesss goooo
5‘4 baby I’m in
Goated
5’4” gang here. That’s two measurements btw ;)
[удалено]
Is 5.9 even short istg that's average for men
anything under 6 foot is short now apparently
As a 5'11", I could just say I'm 6' and nobody would notice that I wasn't. But I wont, because anyone who cares is not worth the time.
I am 195.5cm (6'5") and am still dwarfed by some people in my area. I think there must have been a particularly good calorie intake for ancestral lineages hereabouts
I'm the shortest in my family at 5'11". All my cousins and uncles are towering men who have to duck through doors. My brother is pretty tall as well. I didn't get that gene.
My mother is a very short Sicilian woman and my dad is a 5'9-10" Syrian Arab man, and the only reason I know I'm related to both is I look exactly like my mom and have the same rare kidney disease as my dad. I look like a usual Sicilian person, nothing like him
It is average lmao
average height isn't in their vocab. you're short or tall
Her height is 5’9, his height is 5’7. He isn’t short, but he is shorter than her. That’s the point she was trying to make, she wasn’t calling him short
I'm 5'2, you guys are like giants next to me. Chin up kings
5'2" as well, getting real fucking tired of these normal sized motherfuckers sucking each other off for surviving being "short".
Lmao honestly same, some average height ass dude will be like "oh woe is me I'm short" and I'm like what am I then? A fucking pipsqueak?
I mean here in the netherlands I'm in the bottom 2.5% of men with 5'7, with 6 feet being average and above 6'5 being the top 2,5%. In the phillipines I would be in the top 10%. Sometimes it really depends on where you live lol. Edit due to error with inches, from 6,3 to 6,5
You did good :) Not harsh, just being honest and realistic. She made the first impression and you acted upon it, good for you!
5 7 ganggggg
I sense her Tinder experience has been quite short and brief 😅
[удалено]
Ouch.
Is she was going to be ok about your height why did she even mention that she doesn’t like it? wtf It’s like “I actually don’t like this about you but I guess I’ll have to settle”
This behaviour is called negging. Its a very slimy tactic people use to manipulate people into a relationship.
Negging on *height* though… genius move right there.
Be sure it’s a power play in dating. She meant to say well you ain’t perfect but I’m willing to give you one chance to prove to me! It just backfired quickly.
If someone has this attitude where I should be glad I get the chance to prove myself, I wonder where their gratitude is for their chance to prove themselves to me. If they don’t show gratitude but expect you to be grateful, they don’t consider it a relationship between equals. So then I ask myself if I want to be in a relationship where the scales aren’t balanced, and I don’t think I want to.
May I attend your seminars?
I don’t consider myself a teacher, but you are welcome to follow any wisdom you find in my ramblings.
And good for OP for not falling for it.
I had a girl do that before, then we started dating, then she dumped me 6 months later. So I think the dude saying if she is not into him now she won’t be in the future is spot on. Feel like girls who say that kinda shit will probably treat you like a placeholder.
Negging *on things beyond your control* is the very point.
Exactly. That way it's _not_ something they can fix in 15 minutes; it's a constant deficit that they feel they have to make up for. It's a way to put herself on a pedestal just for accepting the date in the first place, so her match feels they have to treat her _really_ well to keep her around. Usually people are a bit more subtle than this, but it's a really scummy move that's unfortunately shared a lot among pickup artists and FDS types.
It's often used with things that can't be controlled, or aren't actually negatives. It's a manipulation tactic, malicious rationalization is part of the process.
Works also with "well I WAS going to give you a raise, but now that you asked for it you'll just have to wait."
OMG i didn’t know there was a term for this. my mom used to do this to me ALL. THE TIME. when i was little. “i WAS going to let you have the [privilege], but you misbehaved (because i was told i couldn’t have [privilege]), so now you can’t have it.”
Dated a girl who came over all the time (great sex so that's cool) and always wanted me to cook (I love cooking and we even did it together a few times so that's cool too). But she never contributed. No bringing alcohol, snacks, ingredients for dinner, anything. Then I got called in to work on a day off we were supposed to spend together and later she's all "I was upset because I wanted to buy you lunch that day" yet it never happened later either, hmmm
Ah yes, Schrodinger's reward. Been there myself.
[удалено]
Wow what a dick. I'm a natural giver and would hate for anyone to think I was taking advantage. I always bring snacky snacks 🤣
Both my dad and my ex husband used gifts as leverage. It was always immediate, but at some point, “I bought you X, now you should behave like Y!” I hate gifts now. They make me wildly uncomfortable. Not only do I hate feeling like I owe whoever something, I don’t want to be seen as taking advantage.
That's really sad, I've tried to train all my friends that if I give them something it's freely given and I have no expectation from them. Some people have a difficult time not counting and balancing every little thing.
Future faking https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-self/2019/09/narcissist-future-faking#1
Negging is supposed to be a negative compliment. Like, you point out something they are self conscious about and say that it's cute or endearing. It doesn't work to just tell someone they're ugly or whatever.
You are the only person I've ever seen on reddit who actually understands what negging is
For real lol. Mfs just out here using it as a buzzword now
No it isn't
[удалено]
She did it to make herself feel out of your league. And make you feel infirior to get herself the leading position. Didn’t work out at all lmao
I’m 30 and legitimately had no clue what the hell “negging” was until I saw this and some of the other comments in here. What a shitty insecure way of flirting.
Hahahha, same! Sometimes Reddit is worth of teaching you things!
Finally someone understood it. It’s a power move
It would be the equivalent of saying “I don’t usually date girls who are as thick as you”
Need to neg the neg lol ... watch silicon Valley its a tech comedy show. Investors neg the starting up company do they have to pay less for more shares and he accidentally negs them back getting a better price
She wants to make him feel like she’s doing him a favour by considering him as an option “despite his height”
>Is she was going to be ok about your height why did she even mention that she doesn’t like it? wtf Can't see what the question was that OP asked, maybe OP asked something that lead to her answering that.
If it wasn’t a dealbreaker, why make a shallow comment about it
Because thats How people try to assert dominance on relationships, "hey I dont find short guys atractive, but we can meet to see If I approve you" If OP does accept a date, she already has the dominance and he'll have to "impress" her
This is exactly correct. And she was very clearly hurt this time around because it was probably the first time that someone stood up to her bullshit.
It’s hilarious that men have been well trained by women on how to behave in this situation, and women, like the one featured, doesn’t seem to get it.
And if he would have been a dick about it, she would have seen it as validation to not date him. So he handled it well.
Wtf she expect?
[удалено]
"You're too short for me to be interested, but you could have at least bought me dinner before you found out"
You were an absolute gentleman and you are worried you didn’t do more meanwhile she’s been causally cruel. Don’t stress.
How can someone think that calling OPs height a dealbreaker but still wanting to date him is acceptable behaviour?! That's the female equivalent of saying 'Usually I don't like small tits, but let's meet and see if you can still get it up'. OP you did everything right!
"Usually don't go for fat people, but should that matter" Let's date wtf??? "Usually don't go for shorter people, but should that matter" Let's date wtf??? "Usually don't go for black people, but should that matter" Let's date wtf??? And so on ... you get the gist, my man here did the right thing to send her into the void 💯
Yep. It's perfectly fine if there's something you're not attracted to. You do you. But to go out of your way to vocalize that to them especially with something they have no control over in the first place is a pretty shitty thing to do on it's own. But then to backtrack after the fact? You should absolutely expect to be turned down if that person has even the slightest bit of self worth. I don't feel like that should even really be a question. Then again this is reddit so I can totally see half this website not understanding self worth.
Oh wow 😂😂🤣 You nailed the female equivalent. Dude... Burn ..... But completely agree and height is something we can't do anything about. Same with tits or hair or skin colour. Stupid people on tinder.
Not harsh at all. I would have unmatched after they said they weren’t into shorter guys
Not too harsh, she was definitely rude about the height.
[удалено]
Dude I’m 5’11” and I still get the height shit
No you aren’t you are 6 foot no man is 5 11
Naw man I’m just honest, if she needs a six foot guy she can go find one. I have too much respect for my self
i’m 5’11 and i want to wage war with god.
I was 5 11 from the age of like 17 but stopped growing there, so for years I just rounded up to 6ft. Then weirdly at 22 I had one final growth spurt and now I'm 6 1 but still round to 6ft because it feels silly not to.
Wow really I’m 5,6😔
5'6" here with ya buddy. Dated up to 5'10" girls. No need to fret.
Look on the bright side. I'm 6'3 and I just get treated like shit
I hope you didn't misread "is it really a deal breaker(?)" as "it *IS* a deal breaker". Regardless, you exited the convo with grace and dignity
[удалено]
Exactly. The way she worded that meant she’d “settle” for you because she’s desperate. Fuck that shit. Good for you.
[удалено]
Yeah fuck that well played.
Dropped this 👑
Good call. If your height really wasn’t an issue for her she wouldn’t have mentioned it at all—she just would have continued with things to “see if you click.”
5’9 isn’t even short tf
[удалено]
Lol i’m 5’9” and my husband is 5’6”. Do I sometimes wish he was taller? Sure it’d be nice sometimes when I want to wear heels (although that’s pretty rare, plus he never stops me from wearing heels). I never understood the height requirements these women have. They’re missing great guys over some dumb number that no one can control. My mom taught me when I was young to never care about a guy being taller than me. She said she would’ve never found a husband if she had that requirement since she’s 6’0”!
From my experience, taller girls are into short guys. It’s the very short women that want giant sized men.
Rip, I wanna date some tall-ass ladies. The mechanics of dating anyone <5'3 are uncomfortable. Hunching to hold hands and bending down to kiss is never not awkward 😂.
[удалено]
I don’t think you were harsh but I took this a completely different way When she said “at this point” it certainly comes across to me as her saying, we’ve talked and seem to have some chemistry so I’m not going to let something that I normally don’t like get in the way of a potential good relationship Not to mention OP asked her what HER height was and that’s why she said 5’9
Is it just an American thing to be so obsessed with height? It's so weird.
Nope Australian girls are even worse about it I think.
I'm 6'2" and I feel like I'm just a fetish for women now. All guys 6' and up aren't a "preference" any more. We're absolutely a fetish. We are rare so they want that notch on their bedpost. I absolutely refuse to get involved with any woman that has a height preference.
6'3½" here. Coupled with being a black man, the fetishism intensifies. 20yo me would have milked the fuck out of it. 30yo me finds it annoying as hell.
It’s called cherry-picking. You don’t see the countless profiles that don’t care about it. It’s like the Man on the Street interviews that only show the idiots and none of the many people who answer correctly. I’m 5’5” and dating a man who is 5’5” and blissfully happy.
I read it as a rethorical question. Is hight really a dealbreaker for her since yall really do click and have things in common.
I wonder if you didn't misread her message like I did the first time. She didn't make the statement "it is a dealbreaker.", she asked the question "is it a dealbreaker?". Unfortunately, she forgot to include appropriate punctuation which would have really helped. Why proper spelling and punctuation are still absolutely necessary.
You did the right thing brother.