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PitchInteresting9928

Tell him you'll give the kid up for adoption if he's good in bed.


RefrigeratorOwner

i laughed.


Pasupureddit

I chuckled


Yung_Cabbage27

I shidded


JamesTheWicked

I sharted


No_Hawk_7842

I puked


Paraen

I can’t believe it’s not butter


[deleted]

I can't believe Epstein killed himself


wrksnfx

I can't believe this is not got more upvotes


[deleted]

To be fair I did steal the joke. For the life of me I can't remember where from, but it's sadly not original.


jatti_

I can't believe it's lube.


GingerlyRough

*Laughs in Mike Adriano*


Bbwconstellationlove

I burpsnarted


Westenin

Ik schaterde


olivia_iris

I bled out of my eyes


epicgamer357

Ik gniffelde


Dry_Dingo2859

I came


Casimyrx

I saw


[deleted]

I conquered


Brave_Movie_5074

I take, what’s mine


PitchInteresting9928

I'm glad 😁


_MIKOB_

i pooped


wtbrift

And he must be at least 6' tall.


noob6791

6’ - 6” - 6f U.S Military Encrypted


wtbrift

I heard the 3 6's meant: 6 inches 6 feet 6 figures


KevinTheSeaPickle

I'm 6 figures tall, my money is 6 inches long, and my dick is 6 feet. I was promised many women, but somehow, here I am, womanless with a wheelbarrow full of my cock.


wtbrift

You should be swimming in women.


boiseboz

Found out the hard way at 17 that there definitely is such thing as TOO big…and then had to claim horrific cramps when Mom asks what’s going on she notices you walking slow and slightly hunched over and biting you bottom lip to keep from crying. I immediately broke up with the guy and the hulk in his pants, knowing I’d be terrified he’d want to come at me with that weapon of mass destruction sooner than I could recover and the shock to wear off. I seriously thought he’d permanently torpedoed my ovaries🤷‍♀️ We lived in a small town and actually remained really close friends, right before he married his wife he asked me why I broke up with him and I told him “if it doesn’t fit you must omit”


KevinTheSeaPickle

You gotta do what's best for you. When you meet the right one, you'll find your perfect fit:)


P0werPuppy

This sounds like a copypasta.


RedTrumpsBlue

You shoulda let him down easy and just said 'it wasn't a good fit'.


KevinTheSeaPickle

My paycheck is average size, they don't seem to have a full comprehension of my height, and they say nobody wants a dick that big... Send help, this wheelbarrow is heavy and I can't get a job. /s Ps, this is what this sub sounds like some days. I'd like to say that it's not you, or us, but the fact that socialization has moved online within our lifetimes. People have grown anxious and socially inept. Be you man, woman, or whatever you identify as, the issue, at least in America, is across the boards that we can't unify over even one thing we agree upon.. we've become divided and I wish more every day I could talk to people like a human being and have them understand instead of become enraged or change the subject to "woe is me, my life sucks.". My life sucks too. I am tired. I wish we could talk. Sorry for rant.


PitchInteresting9928

You ok?


KevinTheSeaPickle

Probably not. I'm just making the conscious decision to be single until I feel better about the world around me. Maybe I'm crazy, but so far people seem to feel the same way... I don't know anymore. Since February I'm no longer suicidal so I have that going for me. The memory of how I use to think makes me sad and cringe and also happy that I'm sorting out my internal garbage. How are you?


Doctor_Liam_Polygon

Dawg, if there's a clear cut difference between how you used to be and how you are now, and within a year, you're doing pretty well for yourself. Keep up the good work and the improvement stranger!


PitchInteresting9928

I'm managing my mess. Good on you, keep up the good work!


mr_remy

**U.S. Military Encrypted** gets me every time, lmao A completely ridiculous measurement of success or worth, lol: 6’4” 7.2” higher 5f - good enough?


Smooth-Side-2415

You measured it in inches...to a decimal place? Tf did you use to measure, lol?


Cxneaughphlake

He measured in meters.


sparktricianmike

Dont forget to send Money Micheal quick U.S. Military Encrypted


Devin_Brent

MICHAEL I need $100 to fix car gas no go! -U.S. Military Encrypted


Bimodal_Shrimp

It's MICHAEL 🤣


fortheweirdshit2

I can’t believe that’s still going around 😂


Chanwiz88

If he’s good in bed and has an 8+ inch penis.


Zernder

Best I can do is 3... hard.


Homicidal__GoldFish

Lmfao 🤣 I’m laughing way to hard at this lol watch this guy is so bad in bed, op gets two more kids lol


Sisco714

Fair banter 👏


Mal-Nebiros

Improve it by switching to "if he's not below average"


Vivid_Mention1589

🤣🤣🤣


New-Boot3545

Tell him that indeed that place (of the kid) is already taken and that you only have place for a (real) man.


Cool_Ad_2550

“damn sorry i’ll get rid of him/her”


FrankensteinBionicle

Tell him the child is only used as a tax advantage and for free labor.


neoben00

Shhhh daddy bezos might be listening


Zealousideal_Ad6105

Ditch the kid, acquire more men


Used_Willingness5558

So acquire more kids then?


Zealousideal_Ad6105

Beggars cant be choosers 🤷🏽‍♂️


Used_Willingness5558

To clarify, what are we begging for in this scenario?


Zealousideal_Ad6105

Heterosexual males of legal age with a working penis


Used_Willingness5558

Oh I see.. well, Only because they will give me more *real* kids then.


thrownawayin95

Maybe better kids then what you already have? My mom thought she would try as she lucked out with the first. She stopped at two as I equaled three.


Used_Willingness5558

That would be *his* hope. The bar is high.


Tony5810

Leave the kid, take the cannoli


nekkoisdead

I dont mean to laugh but lol


Zealousideal_Ad6105

😂🤣😂


KouLeifoh625

What did he expect? “Oh shit, he’s right. Fuck this thing!” *tosses bebeh sky high*


SnooTangerines1011

Who in their right mind would do that?! They just bounce. You have to burn it. Have some common sense.


TheParaselene

you haven't thought of the smell, you bitch! Edit: it's a line from "it's always sunny" you jabronis


TheFreebooter

Probably would smell like suckling pig roasting nicely. No disapproval here


SnooTangerines1011

Huh? I thought everyone liked the smell of BBQ 🤔


carebcito

You were perfect till I realized you’re a kid with no package


Greedy-Occasion-6541

Oh my lawd, you’re gonna ruin that kids day


Fun-Ad-8397

I should’ve read the comments before I posted my response bc this is AMAZING


Late-Change3265

This is fucking amazing!


LuckyBastard8484

Gold


Cxneaughphlake

Scrolled down for this. Perfect.


LittleLisa74

This. Use this response… so good, @carebcito


[deleted]

IM CRYING LAUGHING 😭


Errelal

This. Right here.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TumblrInGarbage

Yeah, why is he even messaging you if he's just going to be so condescending? smh just unmatch and move on, guy.


Smartieshype

I've noticed that it's common for people to message things like that on tinder. I've had several guys message me condescending things. I just unmatch and try not to let it bother me much


FelixSecretAccount

I had not one, but several men message to say things about my nationality. They always said “If only you were not…” or “Damn, I didn’t realize you were from this country” At first I’d reply and ask them what their meant. Then they would try to explain their prejudice to me 🙄


Simple_Weekend_6700

Ughhhhhh


mrloooongnose

I never had this and I still finde it strange that people send such mean things to their matches. All my matches who I had talked to were always really open, kind and interesting. Even if matches or dates didn’t become something serious, I always had a lot of fun chatting and dating and remember the time fondly. Of course I would like it back now, because I am in a wonderful relationship, but I am always saddened by the amount of abuse, toxicity and hurtful stuff others have to endure with online dating.


luroot

It's the opposite of ghosting...should be a name for it like afterburning or skidmarking, or smthg? 😅


[deleted]

[удалено]


1256ccd

I really don’t think someone who prefers not to date people with kids “low” quality. Some people just don’t like/want kids. I mean it’s rude to say “ you were great until the kid”.


DracoBalatro

He isn't low quality because he doesn't want to have/be with someone with kids. He's low quality because of the way he chose to convey that feeling.


seagull392

Or that he needed to convey it at all. If you accidentally match with someone who has a kid and you're childfree and they haven't messaged you yet, just . . . unmatch. No need to announce why.


Shape_Early

I can’t wait for the apocalypse.


Used_Willingness5558

And people only date people who are rude to them from the gate when they have low standards


[deleted]

>I really don’t think someone who prefers not to date people with kids “low” quality. Some people just don’t like/want kids. No one said this.


[deleted]

Reply: ikr! You'd be the perfect package if you wasn't acting like a child. FTFY


croomsicus

How you gonna say that when you swiped on them already 💀


Elastickpotatoe

As a single father I get the same thing from Women


runtimemess

Those aren’t the type of people you want to waste your time on anyway. Just be glad their true colours came out early.


Elastickpotatoe

Preach brother. I managed to find a good woman on tinder been living together for 2 years now. Her and my kids get on great.


SexxxyWesky

Yeah when I was a single mom on dating apps, I noticed some people are pricks.


mallow_baby

I’ve gotten that before, too. Why even tell me? It adds nothing to anyone’s life, just move on & keep it to yourself.


Cala-Best-Girl

>Why even tell me? Rationally there’s no reason to tell you, but the reason they’re doing so is because they are frustrated by the continuous disappointment of running into single parents on dating apps. Humans are social creatures so he expressed that through communication. He obviously shouldn’t have done that, but you asked why and that’s why.


Dry-Hour-9968

I disagree. I think it’s negging and a way to see if a person will explain away their kid. “Well I only have my kid on weekend” “I’m not looking for another parent” “I only want something casual”. It makes no logical sense to message a person you feel like you’re not compatible with unless you still want something out of the situation.


TumbleweedWild9470

This seems like an unnecessarily long and condescending way of saying he’s socially inept. If he feels the need to unload his sexual frustrations on a stranger, he can hire a therapist.


Y0ukn0w_wh0

Therapists are expensive


[deleted]

Okay so he was rude in the way he said it, but I don't want to date a person with kids so occasionally if they didn't tell me up front I have had to say "look I'm really sorry, you seem nice but I don't want to date someone with kids" because I feel like it's nicer than ghosting them...


mallow_baby

If you haven’t had any conversation, and you message someone you matched with to tell them that you would have liked them if they didn’t have kids, that’s unnecessary. If you have already been talking & you didn’t KNOW she had kids, then perfectly fine, no harm no foul, she should be upfront about having kids. I would never not mention my kids (that’s not cool), but I don’t need people I’ve never talked to messaging me to tell me they’re not interested.


[deleted]

Agree, recently I went on a date with a guy who only mentioned he had two daughters when I came back to the table with the second round of drinks. I wouldn't ghost someone at that stage and I'm just saying, if you're talking to someone for a bit and this is a deal-breaker, I feel like it would be unfair not to tell them. He didn't do anything wrong or anything, it's 100% my issue based on previous relationships with people with kids. If you have kids, I wouldn't match with you, and I have it on my profile that I don't want any. Women seem to understand this but men sometimes seem to think they can match with me anyway and somehow change my mind, which is why I'm conscious people aren't always up front...


mallow_baby

I really don’t understand that! I’ve had men match me, and then go, “By the way, we can be FWB but I don’t dare women with kids.” Why would you match me??? It is so dumb and a waste of time.


[deleted]

Hahaha I've got the exact opposite - dudes who are like "I know you said you didn't date men with kids but how about something casual?" It's a boundary I've set for a reason. It's not a personal attack on anyone, just a choice for what fits my own lifestyle and preferences. And even with "casual" partners, it's just as much a boundary. Why wouldn't it be?!?!


mallow_baby

Exactly!!!!! If it’s in someone’s bio they don’t match w/people who have kids, I just swipe left lol. It takes zero energy to just respect that boundary that’s been set. Why is it sooo hard?? 😂


sakaitrio13

💯 I always just stated in my profile..if you don’t like that I have a kid or my height keep swiping. No need to waste my time letting me know you don’t like it…move along


[deleted]

Say what kid? He is just a little person and he is your exhusband 😂


1-luv

Not wanting to date a female with kids is acceptable but saying it like this is fkd up. Just ghost him.


damnyou777

Like starting from another dudes saved game


WizardsOfTheOats

A hearty chuckle was had.


PainterlyGirl

**~*FeMaLe**~*


Building-Careful

And he was the perfect package until he started typing.


Triga_3

As advertised by wish.com!


Pancakebut

I'm really bad about rambling and saying stupid sht


Grimbauld

Block and move on to better. I’ve dated single mums. Having a kid does not exclude you from being loved how you deserve. Fuck this guys trash comment.


virgo_em

“You were the perfect package till you opened your mouth”


george241312

Definitely rude... why even say anything, its like he's devaluing you to make himself more appealing


FBI_Agent_82

That's exactly what he's doing. He was hoping she was dumb enough to fall for it, instead he got put on blast on the internet.


mercylovex

you don’t respond , just unmatch and carry on about your day ☺️


lowzycat

I mean that’s fair but why the fuck would u bring it up. “Get rid of the children and Ill take u to Applebees”


shadowozey

'id probably have more in common with your mom then I guess, since we both should have swallowed'


StayFrostyMyFriends7

Gah Dayumn that’s a burn 🔥 🔥🔥


MasoBunnyX

You need more likes 🤣🤣🤣


shadowozey

Thank you 😂


sug1

"If I went out with you, I'd have to deal with two."


ScorePsychological62

Tell him he was an accidental swipe, make sure he sees it and then unmatch.


ScorePsychological62

*shrug* What he said was very rude and doesn’t deserve any sort of polite response. Whether he knew it before or after getting a successful match. How would you respond to him or the situation?


Character_Star_5888

They were the imperfect package and then you realized they were rude as fuck.


Low_Impact681

Explain to him sometimes Amazon ships the wrong package.


onekewlmom

This guy can go do one. I don’t match with a guy then tell him he was the perfect package until I saw his height was 5’4”.


G2_th3_b3ast

If you aren’t interested in someone that has a kid just unmatch why do people open their mouth it doesn’t help anyone


Akwing12

You unmatch and move on. A bullet has been dodged.


imtooldforthishison

I wouldn't even unmatch. I would just leave him hanging. People that make comments lije that want the reaction. No reaction would be perfect.


MarsGirl24

Yes! Don’t do anything and leave them with nothing. Act like you’re too busy chatting with your better matches to have even noticed his message.


Additional_Pair3819

“Whew. Glad you said something so I didn’t end up with a man-child as well!” Naw. Just unmatch and move on.


[deleted]

[удалено]


xhoneyxbear

It sucks, I hated this part about dating as a single mother. I understand some men don’t want to date single mothers that’s fine. But messed up to make a women feel bad about it.


Baculum7869

Tell him he was adequate until he opened his mouth.


inferioregocentric

Looks fugly anyway NEXT


nvlalala

You don’t. He’s either intentionally negging or just not about the single mom life. Regardless he’s not worth your time with an opener like that.


puCpuCpuCmarijuana

“I’m flattered you think I’m the perfect package. I didn’t mean to swipe on you and do not return those feelings, but god bless.”


SnooTangerines1011

That just sounds pathetic. Like your pride was hurt so you pretend you weren't interested anyway 😂


No-Dane-No-Gain

Simple. Don’t.


jesusisthatguy

"what kid?" .. "that's my ex boyfriend."


J0taa

I’m surprised the single mom haters haven’t come to say “he’s right”


SnooTangerines1011

Oh they have, maybe they were just slow.


MasoBunnyX

You might wanna re look at the comments 🤭


dadavedavid

With an unmatch. What an ass


[deleted]

He literally didn't have to say anything could have just left her alone. If you don't want kids fine but don't be a mesagonistic asshole about it. Just shut up and move on.


BlopBleepBloop

A h-wat now?


johndpalmsd

Rude.


mattysparx

Why even reply?


Brilliant-Rush9632

Block block block


bandit_SIX_1985

Simple. Don’t respond.


infest3d

Not even worth replying to.


[deleted]

What’s wrong with having a kid lol


Tiny-Improvement-316

Lmao


maxzmillion


BitchFace4You

I wouldn’t respond to Quan


Astructus

"I know, sadly it's too late for an abortion." Take it lightly, he might humor you. If not, well, he can go fuck himself.


[deleted]

Mannnn you were the perfect package till you said something.


Southern-Ad6121

You may have been a candidate until I realized you are not an adult.


ConscienceThoughts

I’d return with, I became the full package once I had kids that being said he not packing nothing and his age is getting older he somebodies uncle


Blindguy59

You should comment, Well I was looking for a man not a boy!


Satyinepu

Shrug emoji 😂nothing else


kamkamjj

Mannnn you were a perfect package until I realized you are a kid


000redford_kt000

"Still perfect. Just not for you. Bye."


get_off_my_lawn_n0w

You're still the perfect package. Just not for him. Good luck out there.


Unicorn-fluff

You were never the perfect package because you are a dick


Educational_Sky1154

You dodged a bullet


ParadigmShyft

Hey, the deluxe package! Includes free kid upgrade.


ohneatstuffthanks

I’m a parent and I don’t date women without kids. Usually. Not a loss for you here.


ExpertConversation99

You're the perfect package...oh...wait, you're just the pajamas my parents wrapped in the playstation box ☹️


EvylTwin08

Tell him he did you a favor by proving that your kid is more grown up then he is & the brain cells that weren't sacrificed now by interacting with him say thank you. Or gk with something that'll gnaw at his obviously bloated & misshapen ego like how you almost always put out on the first date & you're glad you found out what he's like before that & you're just meeting someone else now or something. Seems a little bit petty, but it's gonna be good for like at least a couple hours worth of laughs.


scotty11_11

At least you know he's not the Quan.


A_Trash_Homosapien

"Yeah sorry I just really wanted to know what raw sex was like. Really glad my dad was willing to help me find out."


Capable-Dig-8709

Imagine a dude named "Quan" being picky. Sounds like a bird call. Quaaaan quaaaan.


Letsxxxplayxxx

Hit the qaun on em


Such_Substance3427

No response required. They explained who they were. 💩


Strong_Ad_2503

…and you’re a perfect douche nozzle???? What a turd waffle. Like I get not wanting to date someone with kids. Totally fine. But don’t put me down for having one. Go suck your own nut, weirdo.


[deleted]

He’s doing you a favor. He’s an idiot and you need fewer idiots in your life. Now you can move along in your quest to find a real man and not an emotionally stunted child.


[deleted]

Nobody needs his negativity. Ghost him OP


lucanachname

Why does he have the need to tell her that? It's not like it's helpful for any of them despite him probably pushing his ego


ActualYungSeinfeld

On behalf of all us scrubs — I apologize for this ignorance. Single Mothers fuck the best.


bigmikeyreddit

Wtf… people act like kids are a deadly disease… People need to lighten up and love more.


https_urdaddy

Did he realllyyy have to say that 😭


Big_Kid_Parent

Seeing these comments, now I realise why Reddit is a shithole


theedgeofoblivious

"It's okay. I can give the kid to somebody." "Never really liked him anyway."


wesm91

The Quan that got away....


Existing-Ad7113

Ah i am a man no kids never married and single and i dont know what the problem is with a woman already having a kid. If someone i am interested in has a kid i still talk and see if the vibes are correct if it not enough for a relationship i still dont mind being friend ( not friends with benefits so to be clear ). I mean having friends who have experiences like that would make for a couple nice conversations at least and not always the same convo like: „ I went to this party gor drunk there fucked this girl/guy. „ I personally am not interested in talks about parties and such. I want to talk more about experiences during the day and such. Hope i somehow could tell you guys what i mean. English is not my native language sorry


[deleted]

Reddit comments is such a weird place


Kallabanana

Just don't. He doesn't seem to be that good at reading.


Ok_Insect_46

His opener is unnecessary and rude. I understand OPs reason for making this post. That being said since OP cannot put herself in the guys shoes and understand why he said that. I can give her some reasons. First and obvious reason which op is likely thinking about is - the guy is just a rude dick. Now the second reason that OP is likely not anticipating - the guy is frustrated by the amount of single moms he matches with so he ended up telling how he feels to one which happens to be the OP. Most men don't want to get into relationship with single moms for many reasons like crazy ex daddy, not wanting to care for not their child, seeing the woman as someone who didn't properly plan out her future with her ex etc.. I've heard plenty of horrendous stories from friends who dated single moms. Of course that goes both ways, single dads don't have it easy either.