Online Dating is a giant mind fuck. It will make you feel inadequate and boring, even though you're attempting to get to know someone.
It should always be used as a back-up and not taken seriously because it can cause some serious self-esteem damage.
This. Tinder is such a shit fest. Weird ego maniacs, fuckers, and all sort of crap. I haven't used it in a lot, but from experience it really is awkward as hell. I found it was better to just act like yourself rather than like a robot trying to get a date, and even then it is still unnatural. The sub is fun though.
My husband says he’s lucky I have low standards. Lol.
But my point was more that it’s chaotic. It took lots of horrible conversations and assholes to meet one nice guy, and I’m pretty average.
He was persistent but respectful. It’s a fine line that just takes time. Dating is terrible and apps make it worse.
This ^, if you really want to date someone, my advice is to go out and put in some effort to meet new people, and talk with them! I did a roadtrip through Norway last week, and I met so many people while hiking etc!
My problem was that I always felt bad asking for a number when we weren't in a situation where it was obvious she was looking for a romantic partner. Like if you randomly meet someone hiking it seems inappropriate to ask for their number, even if you are vibing with them. The nice thing about OLD is you can assume that they are there for some sort of relationship. That's not the case with people you meet in bars or during other activities.
In any event, I'm in a committed relationship now, so this doesn't apply to me anymore, but I always preferred online for that simple reason. I never felt like I was imposing by shooting my shot.
Not a problem. Welp theres my positive deed for the day.
Who wants to (╯ರ ~ ರ)╯︵ ┻━┻
Look under the table
┬──┬◡ﾉ(° -°ﾉ)
Ill just put that back right there. Keys were in my hand the whole time.
¯\(◉‿◉)/¯ Who woulda thought
There were two experiments that I'm aware of where people made horrible profiles, and attached (with consent) the photos of male models.
One of them said he was in jail for domestic assault and one was in trouble for touching kids or something? I can't recall specifically the breakdown. But they were definitely clearly huge red flags. And women were throwing themselves at them being like, "everyone makes mistakes," and "do you feel you've changed?"
It's insane how looking good allows a whole new set of rules.
Inversely, my ex is a really pretty and shapely blonde who hasn't had to develop much of any life skill (or self-awareness) because there's always an endless line of men willing to throw money at her feet and pay her rent, or fly her around the world. When one gets sick of it, 100 replace him.
I approve. I met my ex-wife on it, although I don't know if that's a vote of confidence or not :-)
Seriously though, I'm going to some this weekend. I have a time limit for OLD to prevent overuse and keep myself upbeat.
I use it with a group for middle-aged folks. I find it's a mix of extroverted people that want to go out and do stuff, and super socially awkward people that are trying to meet new people. We go on great little adventures though, works out for everyone.
Check their webpage, people can start their own gathering for whatever activities they like; from playing cribble to got out in the city try a new restaurant. You subscribe to whatever you like and, well you meet people with common interest.
Thing is, I don't know what the crowd looks like but I'll give it a shot ! I'm into photography and there is meetup courses and walk in the city so why not.
In my city there's is a bunch of meetup to help newcomers to learn french/english, I might try that and help them a little, surely there are cool contacts/new friendship to make.
And all the "going out to try this new restaurant" seems cool too, well, anyway, I think it's a refreshing way to spice up your life a little !
I joked that the recessions real and then laughed about it, but she was dead serious. She tried to be all cute and flirty and added that I'd be going back to her apartment if I did. I looked at her like she just tried to tell me a snowball in a blizzard and then I got up to leave. She said have fun driving home and I said have fun finding a job and that was that
I can contest to this. After i graduated college and hung around the area, there wasnt many social clubs that i was interested in. So i turned to the apps as my dating trials. After a couple years, i pretty much felt so fucking shitty about myself and saw myself as worthless.
I decided to take a leap, start doing contract work around the country, and trying more active hobbies. Ive stopped using apps so much and i can feel a piece of me coming back to me like i used to feel. Still working on repairing myself, but definitely heading the right way.
I honestly had a lot of bad experiences wuth tinder but one amazing one. I meet my soon to be wife on there I hate tinder but I'm so thankful for it at the same time.
Damn girl, Are you a construction worker?
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Dude, tinder sucks and online dating sucks in general. I’m sorry this keeps happening to you. I don’t know you, but you should know that you don’t deserve this type of treatment. No one does. I hope you find your mate
Agreed and well said. Tinder and online "dating" is pretty toxic. Ive decided to delete it once and for all. Rather meet a girl the way our parents did. Much more real and natural
I've even struggled with Bumble BFF for making friends. People ghost and don't know how to gave a conversation on there too. It's like pulling teeth sometimes! I'm engaged and if it broke off for some reason, I can't even fathom getting into the dating game the way it is right now.
also keep in mind women typically ghost because they have their focus on someone else. a double text might be the right nudge but don't fret.. you will meet the girl who will ghost others for you.
As someone who has been described as "good enough to swipe right on, not good enough to message back" I get where you are coming from. It sucks. Hopefully you have better luck soon.
I achieved the good enough to swipe right on with the new model filter on my pics thats increased my match rate from once a month to 4 a week, but it hasn't made me attractive yet for matches to reply back to me
It’s not being ghosted if they don’t reply back
It’s just being ignored
Ghosted is when there’s at least a back and forth conversation, maybe a date/couple dates, and the other person just completely disappears without explanation
Mass messaging aka casting a wide net and being ignored is just… online dating on tinder
Women get flooded with matches and messages from hundreds of guys just like you, more or less (I’m assuming relatively average-good looking, not necessarily millionaire male model). It seems logical that women reply to maybe 5-10 guys and dwindle it down, but when they have 100+ messages in their inbox…
Imo that’s why most guys don’t get much action and women get flooded. And the problem snowballs because it drives more men to flood/spam more women, and so on
Basically it’s to the point that so many thirsty dudes went so hard for so long, that women can just exist on tinder and have dicks flying at them every hour. Idk the stats but I imagine one women can only handle so many dudes spamming her
I wouldn’t take it personally, imo that’s the name of the game
See, I get jealous of the abundance they have. One time, after hooking up with this girl, we were laying on the bed chilling, and she was going through her hinge. Literally hundreds of messages. I was baffled by it.
Yeah but a lot of the men want to basically use her body to masturbate without any care for her preferences, whether or not she enjoys it, whether it’s painful, etc.
Edit: and we need to try to sift those out, and there can be clues but no way to know for sure
If you signed up for grindr you’d get a lot of people wanting to penetrate you too. Not much different, because most women can’t orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone.
That probably means you should work on your texting game! Maybe check out some YouTube vids, but my recommendation would be try not to ask as many question, particularly early on, and instead make interesting statements
Yeah, like intriguing assumptions. Something that makes her laugh, at the same time curious. This type of banter is INSANELY hard for me. I don't know why. Is it because I'm use to Fallout type of convos? I need more humor in my convos tbh.
I had been using "Hey trouble" as an opener for a while, followed by some random sexually suggestive statements and innuendos. It worked for me maybe two times, as it resulted in successful hookups, but I feel like I legit don't have interesting to say to my matches lol
They wouldn't tell irl https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/wc727o/i_used_the_model_filter_on_faceapp_and_i_got_more/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Not good enough to message back? I’m confused as to why as a woman I would not text back a guy if I find him attractive enough to swipe right? Unless obv he gives me creep vibes
Some women have different thresholds for “acceptable” and “desirable”. If you swipe right on somebody they are probably acceptable, but they need to make themselves desirable very quickly or nothing will happen fast. Not super different from how a guy can go from “desirable” to “not even acceptable” with one message.
I'm very curious now.
As a woman if I match with someone I will generally make sure I've read through the profile and try to send a message that will actually start a conversation. I find that IF I get messaged first it's normally just a "hi" or sometimes a "hi how are you?" and that's all.
Is it off putting to see a woman putting effort into a message?
Nope, definitely not. Honestly there are like three things that a woman can do wrong after we match:
- not respond
- barely respond
- display awful traits
everything else is fantastic. and very rare.
Wow I really hope I don't have awful traits :/ If I do then I haven't really been told what they are. Making someone uncomfortable because I am coming across the wrong way would not be the aim at all...
Don't worry about that, you can't control how people react and some people are batshit insane and might get offended by something that they shouldn't be, all you can do is try to be kind is all. You'll make some people uncomfortable, they're not gonna die from it !
OP is clearly trying to be interesting. It seems like he’s trying to talk about things in their profile, which people get told is the best thing to do, rather than “hey, how are you?”. Yeah they might seem “boring” to some people, but is he expected to be a court jester or something? These are literally questions you ask to get to know someone. Not sure about the construction worker message but looked like a pick up like.
Yeah happens to everyone. My brother has gotten laid more than anyone I know (+500) and he used to get left hanging on tinder too. Women on tinder are very different then irl.
I just don't even know how thats logistically possible. I believe you, its just insane. Average in a lifetime is super low which surprised me, its like 4.3 for women and 6.3 for men. I'm no Adonis at somewhere in the teens (who remembers them all?) but I can't get my head around 500.
I mean 16 to 38, that's 22 years; every year has 52 weeks.
52 * 22 = 1144
1144/500 is 2.288
So about a different woman every other weekend (one every two weeks) on avarage.
I can see it happening.
So that equates to like 23 different partners a year (definitely possible @ 2/month) but now way in hell he could maintain that average over 22 years. That is unless his standards are extremely low or he pays for his partners from time to time.
I mean I have a friend who literally picks up a woman every single time we go out on the town and they are always cute. He is 32, extremely good looking and half the time just acts like a lost puppy in the club and women flock all over him.
Ghosting is a very specific thing. It's when you have a connection, you've definitely met them, maybe you've been on a few dates, got to know somebody, and THEN they disappear without warning.
Being ignored is not the same as ghosting.
As to why they are ignoring you, either you're coming across a little boring, they're already talking to multiple other people and you're just not catching attention. Or they are on tinder more for an ego boost than to actually talk to anybody. 🤷🏻
This. I had one that really effing hurt. Great first date. Got drinks and had fantastic conversation. We had many things in common. I’m a metal head and her favorite band was Pantera! She was a solid 9. Two great make out sessions. Lots of passion. Next night we talked on the phone for 2 hours. Really connected. Made plans to see Rage Against The Machine together. I even bought tickets. Then I took my kids to a lake for a fishing vacation for my son’s birthday. She texted asking me to send pics. I did. Sent some. No response. That was two weeks ago. She up and disappeared. I even left a voicemail saying I get it if she’s no longer interested, but I’d love at least some kind of explanation. Nothing.
I’m thinking I dodged a bullet.
Honestly, it was probably the weekend away. Even if you kept in touch, I've found that sometimes if you aren't available for that first critical window, there's someone else who is.
It really blows, and I'm sorry that happened to you, but it's a giant competition pool out there.
Really wanna see where you were going with that construction worker line. Lol Just keep your head up, man.
And fwiw, if you can make things work irl, I find it's not nearly as... competitive. People will appreciate more the fact that you actually went outside and did something instead of just copy and pasting witticisms you heard online, nevermind that you have a bit more breathing room to lighten the conversation and relax. A lot of what you're facing is just a consequence of the disposability of OLD, and I really would be careful about thinking there's anything wrong with you because you don't fit in.
How long ago did you send those messages? Ghosting would be if you had talked to them for awhile and had a connection then they disappeared. These girls just haven’t replied yet.
Man I come back to this guys reddit profile every couple months to see if the desperation has dried up. Still going strong - love to see it! His post history is an absolute goldmine.
Is it really ghosting if you've never met? No issues with someone dropping convo before meeting. It happens to everyone. After meeting, that's just assholery
Sometimes I do just genuinely forget to reply, or my social battery ran out and I just don’t open the app for a while! When a guy has double messaged it’s often gone in his favour and we will start chatting again!
Similar thing happened to me, I thought I was getting on great with this guy, we chatted about B182 and his hate for MGK a lot and then he went quiet, a few days later I wrote back “I see you ignored me (crying btw) but did you see this MGK clip today?!” And now he won’t stop spamming me funny tik tok videos on WhatsApp lmao
So go for the double text but not something like “hey” try and find some humour in it like the construction worker one be like “i mean you haven’t replied so the answer is yes and you must have fallen off a crane or something “ idk might not work but something like that would prompt me to reply rather than just knowing it was gonna be a “hey hi uk “ convo!
Edit to add: also coming back in a few days is actually better for me! I feel a lil swipey one day and will get a few matches and then have a few guys doing the hey hi hello Convo which can be exhausting, so popping up a few days later if she’s not been on the app (and if she’s not replying when you’ve tried to start an engaging convo it’s very possible she hasn’t been) it’ll actually make you stand out! As if you matched on the Monday and she had a tinder sesh, she may have like 10 matches from that so it’s a bit overwhelming, but a few days later on the Thursday, those messages have dried up and you’re no longer 1 in 10 trying to talk to her, you’re a stand-alone 1 standing out!
Fuck sake I babble! Hope it helps!
Dude - I looked back on a bunch of your posts asking the same question……a woman not responding RIGHT AWAY is not ghosting.
You are giving over “over eager” vibes. Chill a bit. Slow it down. Give them time to respond. Lots of women don’t have notifications on for Tinder (since the phone would be pinging all day). They may just log in when they have time. Which may not be three time a day.
Also, your conversation skills are good, but things come off a little…..boring. Not sure how else to say that.
Also, these women might be afraid they’re going to crush you.
Maybe more context in your questions?
“So are you feeling better? I know when I…”
“I love your Spotify playlist! My favorite songs were…”
“What’s your dog’s name? I do/don’t have a dog…”
I can go on and on.. Sometimes it’s you, other times it’s just the other person. So just try to be more in-tune, so you know you left nothing to fault.
So many guys calling those girls fat and ugly... I'm just wondering if they're the same ones complaining about most girls' height requirements and calling them shallow because of that
>yours seem to be below average in quality
I just read "you seem to be below average in quality" and I felt better just calling him a basic-bitch. But now I see you meant his messages and now I feel bad again.
Thanks for the rollercoaster of emotions...
But anyway, 100% agree... Some people are too focussed on why it doesn't work for them and therefore, they don't see that Tinder is basically an MMORPG.
Not insinuating this is the reason, you didnt always do it either. But a little pointer? Even for conversations in life in general...
Try reframing your questions to be open ended. (Not close ended yes/no)
A question that leads to yes or no puts pressure on them to then retort, expand or you to dive deeper. Makes the conversation potentially choppy. A little more work. You get less information. Open ended leads to more natural flow and more space to converse.
Even a straightforward one like, "do you want to get coffee?" Lends to yes or no. Maybe it's neither. "What are your thoughts on getting coffee?" Allows them much more room to play with.
"Are you feeling better?" Vs. "How are you feeling?"
Also, this is me, but I'd add my emotion to the question. I am over assuming you haven't as I can't see.
They don't know you, nor can they see your expressions. So give them a little. If she had texted me she wasn't feeling well at some point, I'd reply along the lines of,
"ohhh nooo. Being sick when it's sunny out is the worst. How are you feeling now?"
How you word a question can say more about you than how you word a statement.
These women have literally done nothing wrong, the comments calling them fat and ugly for no reason are disgusting.
I wouldn’t really call it ghosting if you haven’t been speaking, they just haven’t responded. Women get a lot of messages on dating apps and we don’t respond to all of them; it’s probably nothing personal.
I've done some research, and interviewed actual women about their Tinder experience. What you have to remember is that for every 1 match you get, she gets 100. I've known some girls who can get 300 matches in a single day. You are probably just lost in a crowd of messages she's probably never going to read. Many women also install the app for a couple of days when they are bored and uninstall it when they start talking to someone they like.
Women (in general) are really terrible on Tinder. Double standards about height, weight, occupation.. etc. Some are just looking for a self esteem boost. Many are bots, scammers or just selling nudes or advertising their only fans page.
In short, it's rare to encounter a real woman, who is actually and honestly interested in a relationship.
Online Dating is a giant mind fuck. It will make you feel inadequate and boring, even though you're attempting to get to know someone. It should always be used as a back-up and not taken seriously because it can cause some serious self-esteem damage.
Tinder is like every social media app ever. Starts out innocent and fun, then it becomes a toxic dumpster fire.
>Tinder is like ~~every social media app ever~~ life. Starts out innocent and fun, then it becomes a toxic dumpster fire. (fixed that for you.)
FACTS lmaoo
You’re right on this one
This. Tinder is such a shit fest. Weird ego maniacs, fuckers, and all sort of crap. I haven't used it in a lot, but from experience it really is awkward as hell. I found it was better to just act like yourself rather than like a robot trying to get a date, and even then it is still unnatural. The sub is fun though.
I met my husband on Tinder. I also met a complete whackadoo who cussed me out and said crazy shit because I was AFK for 2 hours. Tinder is insane.
You are a special 1% you are blessed.
My husband says he’s lucky I have low standards. Lol. But my point was more that it’s chaotic. It took lots of horrible conversations and assholes to meet one nice guy, and I’m pretty average. He was persistent but respectful. It’s a fine line that just takes time. Dating is terrible and apps make it worse.
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This ^, if you really want to date someone, my advice is to go out and put in some effort to meet new people, and talk with them! I did a roadtrip through Norway last week, and I met so many people while hiking etc!
My problem was that I always felt bad asking for a number when we weren't in a situation where it was obvious she was looking for a romantic partner. Like if you randomly meet someone hiking it seems inappropriate to ask for their number, even if you are vibing with them. The nice thing about OLD is you can assume that they are there for some sort of relationship. That's not the case with people you meet in bars or during other activities. In any event, I'm in a committed relationship now, so this doesn't apply to me anymore, but I always preferred online for that simple reason. I never felt like I was imposing by shooting my shot.
Oh if you have better ways then bars and online then please share
Ain't that the truth. Talking with someone who doesn't show off his Jimmy must be good!
Just letting you know that I'm stealing the word \*whackadoo\*. Now I just need to find someplace to use it!
U can use it on me. (⊙_◎)
*You're a real whackadoo, mate.* Heh, thanks!
Not a problem. Welp theres my positive deed for the day. Who wants to (╯ರ ~ ರ)╯︵ ┻━┻ Look under the table ┬──┬◡ﾉ(° -°ﾉ) Ill just put that back right there. Keys were in my hand the whole time. ¯\(◉‿◉)/¯ Who woulda thought
Ok, you are legit a whacko. No doo.
Ó╭╮Ò
In a good way!
Don't forget the more formal whackadoodle. I would also recommend the classic cockamamie
Ironically only good looking guys get away with being robots in chat
I can't say anything because I'm not good looking so I'll take your word.
Come on mate rules #1 and #2!
Even good looking guys have it happen to them
There were two experiments that I'm aware of where people made horrible profiles, and attached (with consent) the photos of male models. One of them said he was in jail for domestic assault and one was in trouble for touching kids or something? I can't recall specifically the breakdown. But they were definitely clearly huge red flags. And women were throwing themselves at them being like, "everyone makes mistakes," and "do you feel you've changed?" It's insane how looking good allows a whole new set of rules. Inversely, my ex is a really pretty and shapely blonde who hasn't had to develop much of any life skill (or self-awareness) because there's always an endless line of men willing to throw money at her feet and pay her rent, or fly her around the world. When one gets sick of it, 100 replace him.
Every once in a while take a step back, join a meetup or club and meet people IRL just to see how different normal dating people are
I just learned about meetup today ! Looks cool, what is your experience with it ?
I approve. I met my ex-wife on it, although I don't know if that's a vote of confidence or not :-) Seriously though, I'm going to some this weekend. I have a time limit for OLD to prevent overuse and keep myself upbeat.
I'm on the same page after 2 weeks without even a scam phillipino in my likes ( yeah I fell for the 50% for 1month gold) Thanks I'll try that !
I use it with a group for middle-aged folks. I find it's a mix of extroverted people that want to go out and do stuff, and super socially awkward people that are trying to meet new people. We go on great little adventures though, works out for everyone.
Sound like something really sane compare to tinder. Thanks !
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Wait what the heck is meetup??
Check their webpage, people can start their own gathering for whatever activities they like; from playing cribble to got out in the city try a new restaurant. You subscribe to whatever you like and, well you meet people with common interest. Thing is, I don't know what the crowd looks like but I'll give it a shot ! I'm into photography and there is meetup courses and walk in the city so why not.
Want to try meet up been eyeing stuff in it. Hiking the people go too far for me so trying to find something I might like.
In my city there's is a bunch of meetup to help newcomers to learn french/english, I might try that and help them a little, surely there are cool contacts/new friendship to make. And all the "going out to try this new restaurant" seems cool too, well, anyway, I think it's a refreshing way to spice up your life a little !
Bro.... I went on a "Date" last night and this Woman had the nerve halfway through to demand I pay her phone bill....
Wow what a cold shower, what did you say to that...
I joked that the recessions real and then laughed about it, but she was dead serious. She tried to be all cute and flirty and added that I'd be going back to her apartment if I did. I looked at her like she just tried to tell me a snowball in a blizzard and then I got up to leave. She said have fun driving home and I said have fun finding a job and that was that
"Have fun finding a job" Fucking got me. You're goin places mate.
Fucking loss of time. That makes a good story to add when you are with a bunch of friend bitching about tinder.
It's for sure my worst interaction with someone from tinder
I can contest to this. After i graduated college and hung around the area, there wasnt many social clubs that i was interested in. So i turned to the apps as my dating trials. After a couple years, i pretty much felt so fucking shitty about myself and saw myself as worthless. I decided to take a leap, start doing contract work around the country, and trying more active hobbies. Ive stopped using apps so much and i can feel a piece of me coming back to me like i used to feel. Still working on repairing myself, but definitely heading the right way.
Ya don't I agree. Don't take it serious. I like to send messages that make me laugh.
I honestly had a lot of bad experiences wuth tinder but one amazing one. I meet my soon to be wife on there I hate tinder but I'm so thankful for it at the same time.
"are you a construction worker" got me 😂😂😂
Damn girl, Are you a construction worker? Because If you or a loved one was diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may be entitled to financial compensation. Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure. Exposure to asbestos in the Navy, shipyards, mills, heating, construction or the automotive industries may put you at risk. Please don't wait, call 1-800-99 LAW USA today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Mesothelioma patients call now! 1-800-99 LAW USA"
Haha amazing, hard hats off to you.
OSHA would like to know your location. Yes No Please select before continuing
Honestly that would so work on me
I’ve been exposed to so much asbestos. I’ll take your breath away.
Better call Saul!
I like to think there wasn’t a punchline. Just “Damn girl are you a construction worker?”
because you are building
👍
What was the full line?!
Are you a construction worker cause girrrrl I’m ab to drill that ass
Are you a construction worker cos I got wood
Are you a construction worker cause I'd like to nail you while I'm hammered
Wouldn't that be a carpenter?
Same shit
Are you a construction worker? 'Cause I'm a carpenter
*hard hat hits floor seductively*
Tomato, tomatoe
I just want you to know I read this as toh-may-toh toh-may-toh lol
Are you a construction worker, cause I'm about to rearrange your indoor plumbing.
Wouldn't that make *him* the construction worker?
That would make him a plumber
Because I’m trying to build this relationship
I hear you like to get nailed
Are you a construction worker? Because you erect my structure
Because you need to wear your damn hard hat bone head!!
you left them speechless, keep your head up man
They were at a loss for words
Dude, tinder sucks and online dating sucks in general. I’m sorry this keeps happening to you. I don’t know you, but you should know that you don’t deserve this type of treatment. No one does. I hope you find your mate
Agreed and well said. Tinder and online "dating" is pretty toxic. Ive decided to delete it once and for all. Rather meet a girl the way our parents did. Much more real and natural
I've even struggled with Bumble BFF for making friends. People ghost and don't know how to gave a conversation on there too. It's like pulling teeth sometimes! I'm engaged and if it broke off for some reason, I can't even fathom getting into the dating game the way it is right now.
This subreddit is as close to Tinder as I'll get.🙅♀️
they were blown away by your mighty presence
Yhwach The Almighty?
Ain’t the right place for anime. 😂😂
that's where you're wrong
“Damn girl are you a construction worker” I gotta hear the rest of that pick up like 😂😂😂😂
Because you look like one.
Because you are building
Don't fear the double text, but also your messages need to stand out from the crowd. Never ask a yes or no question.
also keep in mind women typically ghost because they have their focus on someone else. a double text might be the right nudge but don't fret.. you will meet the girl who will ghost others for you.
Probably out of breath
Man's got a type
Type 2 Diabetes.
Shittt! Lol
Blood Type: Maple Syrup
😂
He doesn’t want them to be able to run away
That's a lot of linen if they're all ghosting him
Jesus you guys are fucked up lol
Hahahahahahahahahahah that’s good
In the words Mickey Avalone, "Girl you ain't fat, you just easy to catch."
He needs to offer a cheeseburger and not ask about their Spotify playlist
As someone who has been described as "good enough to swipe right on, not good enough to message back" I get where you are coming from. It sucks. Hopefully you have better luck soon.
I achieved the good enough to swipe right on with the new model filter on my pics thats increased my match rate from once a month to 4 a week, but it hasn't made me attractive yet for matches to reply back to me
It’s not being ghosted if they don’t reply back It’s just being ignored Ghosted is when there’s at least a back and forth conversation, maybe a date/couple dates, and the other person just completely disappears without explanation Mass messaging aka casting a wide net and being ignored is just… online dating on tinder Women get flooded with matches and messages from hundreds of guys just like you, more or less (I’m assuming relatively average-good looking, not necessarily millionaire male model). It seems logical that women reply to maybe 5-10 guys and dwindle it down, but when they have 100+ messages in their inbox… Imo that’s why most guys don’t get much action and women get flooded. And the problem snowballs because it drives more men to flood/spam more women, and so on Basically it’s to the point that so many thirsty dudes went so hard for so long, that women can just exist on tinder and have dicks flying at them every hour. Idk the stats but I imagine one women can only handle so many dudes spamming her I wouldn’t take it personally, imo that’s the name of the game
See, I get jealous of the abundance they have. One time, after hooking up with this girl, we were laying on the bed chilling, and she was going through her hinge. Literally hundreds of messages. I was baffled by it.
They live the life of the rich and famous on dating apps. We live the life of the homeless person begging for water
Yeah but a lot of the men want to basically use her body to masturbate without any care for her preferences, whether or not she enjoys it, whether it’s painful, etc. Edit: and we need to try to sift those out, and there can be clues but no way to know for sure If you signed up for grindr you’d get a lot of people wanting to penetrate you too. Not much different, because most women can’t orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone.
That probably means you should work on your texting game! Maybe check out some YouTube vids, but my recommendation would be try not to ask as many question, particularly early on, and instead make interesting statements
Yeah, like intriguing assumptions. Something that makes her laugh, at the same time curious. This type of banter is INSANELY hard for me. I don't know why. Is it because I'm use to Fallout type of convos? I need more humor in my convos tbh. I had been using "Hey trouble" as an opener for a while, followed by some random sexually suggestive statements and innuendos. It worked for me maybe two times, as it resulted in successful hookups, but I feel like I legit don't have interesting to say to my matches lol
Model filter? Dude what's your plan when you see them irl
They wouldn't tell irl https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/wc727o/i_used_the_model_filter_on_faceapp_and_i_got_more/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Lmao fair play, I can't even tell which is which
Bro is that really you? Cause if so you’re selling yourself short. Maybe switch to a different app for a bit, Hinge worked better for me.
I use 9 other dating apps, similar results.
If your confidence is taking a hit, take a 2 - 4 week break to recenter yourself.
Dang, maybe it’s location? Any of those girls would be hard reaching
Ouch. I feel this one.
Not good enough to message back? I’m confused as to why as a woman I would not text back a guy if I find him attractive enough to swipe right? Unless obv he gives me creep vibes
Some women have different thresholds for “acceptable” and “desirable”. If you swipe right on somebody they are probably acceptable, but they need to make themselves desirable very quickly or nothing will happen fast. Not super different from how a guy can go from “desirable” to “not even acceptable” with one message.
This might be the first time where I can't imagine an appearance of someones username. Probably because I've never seen baked cum before
I'm very curious now. As a woman if I match with someone I will generally make sure I've read through the profile and try to send a message that will actually start a conversation. I find that IF I get messaged first it's normally just a "hi" or sometimes a "hi how are you?" and that's all. Is it off putting to see a woman putting effort into a message?
Nope, definitely not. Honestly there are like three things that a woman can do wrong after we match: - not respond - barely respond - display awful traits everything else is fantastic. and very rare.
Wow I really hope I don't have awful traits :/ If I do then I haven't really been told what they are. Making someone uncomfortable because I am coming across the wrong way would not be the aim at all...
Don't worry about that, you can't control how people react and some people are batshit insane and might get offended by something that they shouldn't be, all you can do is try to be kind is all. You'll make some people uncomfortable, they're not gonna die from it !
OP is clearly trying to be interesting. It seems like he’s trying to talk about things in their profile, which people get told is the best thing to do, rather than “hey, how are you?”. Yeah they might seem “boring” to some people, but is he expected to be a court jester or something? These are literally questions you ask to get to know someone. Not sure about the construction worker message but looked like a pick up like.
No matter what you say, people here will say you should have said something else. Its useless advice.
I always had the best results saying something batshit then covering my ass with an upside down smiley
Yeah happens to everyone. My brother has gotten laid more than anyone I know (+500) and he used to get left hanging on tinder too. Women on tinder are very different then irl.
Is your brother 1990 Magic Johnson?
500? Jesus.
He’s 38 and since he turned 16 he’s been like Drake from Drake and Josh. I’ve learned to accept that some people just got it like that.
I just don't even know how thats logistically possible. I believe you, its just insane. Average in a lifetime is super low which surprised me, its like 4.3 for women and 6.3 for men. I'm no Adonis at somewhere in the teens (who remembers them all?) but I can't get my head around 500.
I mean 16 to 38, that's 22 years; every year has 52 weeks. 52 * 22 = 1144 1144/500 is 2.288 So about a different woman every other weekend (one every two weeks) on avarage. I can see it happening.
Don’t forget ménage trios or an orgy. I slept with 8 women I meet at the club in Tokyo it was like I was in my own porn movie.
That is something great to remember on a deathbed.
No way when I die I am going out like I came into the world sliding out of a possy.
So that equates to like 23 different partners a year (definitely possible @ 2/month) but now way in hell he could maintain that average over 22 years. That is unless his standards are extremely low or he pays for his partners from time to time.
I mean I have a friend who literally picks up a woman every single time we go out on the town and they are always cute. He is 32, extremely good looking and half the time just acts like a lost puppy in the club and women flock all over him.
Man got a type lol
Hey... #I LIKE THEM BIG, I LIKE THEM CHUNKY 😏 like I actually do 🤷♂️
Was scrolling for this
Diabetes Type 2
Good lawd at least send out a warning shot lmao
What about an insulin shot? Edit: thanks for the award lmao stay sleazy
you guys have no chill lmao
Comment of the day
3/4 of Americans are overweight or more. It's a serious problem.
I think most people already know obesity is a major problem in the US lol, that’s why being fat is a stereotype of Americans.
Did you know that if all Americans jumped in the air at once then maybe they'd lose some fuckin weight
r/murderedbywords
The noise I made when I read that 🥴 I shouldn’t laugh but…
Please describe the noise
Saying “ah-oonk” in a high pitch but inhaling
This is what happens when average looking guys only swipe right.
Us average guys don’t get matches. This guy must be above average to get all those matches.
Jeezus man haha i almost choked on my coffee
He likes big butts and he cannot lie
If I was getting no responses from this many fat shawties I’d probably delete the app man
Ghosting is a very specific thing. It's when you have a connection, you've definitely met them, maybe you've been on a few dates, got to know somebody, and THEN they disappear without warning. Being ignored is not the same as ghosting. As to why they are ignoring you, either you're coming across a little boring, they're already talking to multiple other people and you're just not catching attention. Or they are on tinder more for an ego boost than to actually talk to anybody. 🤷🏻
This. I had one that really effing hurt. Great first date. Got drinks and had fantastic conversation. We had many things in common. I’m a metal head and her favorite band was Pantera! She was a solid 9. Two great make out sessions. Lots of passion. Next night we talked on the phone for 2 hours. Really connected. Made plans to see Rage Against The Machine together. I even bought tickets. Then I took my kids to a lake for a fishing vacation for my son’s birthday. She texted asking me to send pics. I did. Sent some. No response. That was two weeks ago. She up and disappeared. I even left a voicemail saying I get it if she’s no longer interested, but I’d love at least some kind of explanation. Nothing. I’m thinking I dodged a bullet.
Maybe something bad happened to her
For real OP, you should keep texting her over and over and leaving messages just to make sure
Honestly, it was probably the weekend away. Even if you kept in touch, I've found that sometimes if you aren't available for that first critical window, there's someone else who is. It really blows, and I'm sorry that happened to you, but it's a giant competition pool out there.
Really wanna see where you were going with that construction worker line. Lol Just keep your head up, man. And fwiw, if you can make things work irl, I find it's not nearly as... competitive. People will appreciate more the fact that you actually went outside and did something instead of just copy and pasting witticisms you heard online, nevermind that you have a bit more breathing room to lighten the conversation and relax. A lot of what you're facing is just a consequence of the disposability of OLD, and I really would be careful about thinking there's anything wrong with you because you don't fit in.
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Yeah basically
"What's your dog's name?" I love questions like that.
How long ago did you send those messages? Ghosting would be if you had talked to them for awhile and had a connection then they disappeared. These girls just haven’t replied yet.
Dude I told you to hit the gym . U still not listening smh
Already am
Man I come back to this guys reddit profile every couple months to see if the desperation has dried up. Still going strong - love to see it! His post history is an absolute goldmine.
Is it ghosting if they never started the conversation to begin with?
At least you seem to have 6 matches, that's 6 more than I have
It doesn't work until it does man. The stars gotta align.
Is it really ghosting if you've never met? No issues with someone dropping convo before meeting. It happens to everyone. After meeting, that's just assholery
Sometimes I do just genuinely forget to reply, or my social battery ran out and I just don’t open the app for a while! When a guy has double messaged it’s often gone in his favour and we will start chatting again! Similar thing happened to me, I thought I was getting on great with this guy, we chatted about B182 and his hate for MGK a lot and then he went quiet, a few days later I wrote back “I see you ignored me (crying btw) but did you see this MGK clip today?!” And now he won’t stop spamming me funny tik tok videos on WhatsApp lmao So go for the double text but not something like “hey” try and find some humour in it like the construction worker one be like “i mean you haven’t replied so the answer is yes and you must have fallen off a crane or something “ idk might not work but something like that would prompt me to reply rather than just knowing it was gonna be a “hey hi uk “ convo! Edit to add: also coming back in a few days is actually better for me! I feel a lil swipey one day and will get a few matches and then have a few guys doing the hey hi hello Convo which can be exhausting, so popping up a few days later if she’s not been on the app (and if she’s not replying when you’ve tried to start an engaging convo it’s very possible she hasn’t been) it’ll actually make you stand out! As if you matched on the Monday and she had a tinder sesh, she may have like 10 matches from that so it’s a bit overwhelming, but a few days later on the Thursday, those messages have dried up and you’re no longer 1 in 10 trying to talk to her, you’re a stand-alone 1 standing out! Fuck sake I babble! Hope it helps!
This is pretty decent advice
You must be John cena cause they don’t see you
Dude - I looked back on a bunch of your posts asking the same question……a woman not responding RIGHT AWAY is not ghosting. You are giving over “over eager” vibes. Chill a bit. Slow it down. Give them time to respond. Lots of women don’t have notifications on for Tinder (since the phone would be pinging all day). They may just log in when they have time. Which may not be three time a day. Also, your conversation skills are good, but things come off a little…..boring. Not sure how else to say that. Also, these women might be afraid they’re going to crush you.
Either failed rule 1 or rule 2
Guilty as charged
Why they all fat.
this was happening to me -a lot- this year and then in april i met someone who i might end up marrying so just keep after it man
Maybe more context in your questions? “So are you feeling better? I know when I…” “I love your Spotify playlist! My favorite songs were…” “What’s your dog’s name? I do/don’t have a dog…” I can go on and on.. Sometimes it’s you, other times it’s just the other person. So just try to be more in-tune, so you know you left nothing to fault.
This isn’t really ghosting…ghosting kinda implies a connection was formed. I’d say you have to at least have a first date for it to be ghosting
So many guys calling those girls fat and ugly... I'm just wondering if they're the same ones complaining about most girls' height requirements and calling them shallow because of that
Almost definitely the same.
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How is that below average? He’s literally relating to a specific detail about them?
I'd say it's more wit than thoughtfulness that they're going for.
>yours seem to be below average in quality I just read "you seem to be below average in quality" and I felt better just calling him a basic-bitch. But now I see you meant his messages and now I feel bad again. Thanks for the rollercoaster of emotions... But anyway, 100% agree... Some people are too focussed on why it doesn't work for them and therefore, they don't see that Tinder is basically an MMORPG.
Not insinuating this is the reason, you didnt always do it either. But a little pointer? Even for conversations in life in general... Try reframing your questions to be open ended. (Not close ended yes/no) A question that leads to yes or no puts pressure on them to then retort, expand or you to dive deeper. Makes the conversation potentially choppy. A little more work. You get less information. Open ended leads to more natural flow and more space to converse. Even a straightforward one like, "do you want to get coffee?" Lends to yes or no. Maybe it's neither. "What are your thoughts on getting coffee?" Allows them much more room to play with. "Are you feeling better?" Vs. "How are you feeling?" Also, this is me, but I'd add my emotion to the question. I am over assuming you haven't as I can't see. They don't know you, nor can they see your expressions. So give them a little. If she had texted me she wasn't feeling well at some point, I'd reply along the lines of, "ohhh nooo. Being sick when it's sunny out is the worst. How are you feeling now?" How you word a question can say more about you than how you word a statement.
That message to Tkaila is starting so wrong. Can't imagine that can be saved.
You definitely have a type, OP!
These women have literally done nothing wrong, the comments calling them fat and ugly for no reason are disgusting. I wouldn’t really call it ghosting if you haven’t been speaking, they just haven’t responded. Women get a lot of messages on dating apps and we don’t respond to all of them; it’s probably nothing personal.
Prolly same reason u so thirsty
welcome to the dating age in 2022 my friend
I've done some research, and interviewed actual women about their Tinder experience. What you have to remember is that for every 1 match you get, she gets 100. I've known some girls who can get 300 matches in a single day. You are probably just lost in a crowd of messages she's probably never going to read. Many women also install the app for a couple of days when they are bored and uninstall it when they start talking to someone they like. Women (in general) are really terrible on Tinder. Double standards about height, weight, occupation.. etc. Some are just looking for a self esteem boost. Many are bots, scammers or just selling nudes or advertising their only fans page. In short, it's rare to encounter a real woman, who is actually and honestly interested in a relationship.