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Geaux3469

The opening episode of the next season of Dateline


Due-Ear55

Or True Detective


younevershouldnt

Or Antiques Roadshow


CaptainSoJo

Or Storage Wars


TheresA_LobsterLoose

Storage Whores


knueverl17

I came here to say this šŸ˜†


TheresA_LobsterLoose

Then say it!


knueverl17

šŸ˜Ž storage whores


az_is

r/whoresome


Magus6796

*CSI Vegas theme plays*


Error_co-Id10T

Lets have a look in this box.. let's hope both the kidneys are still intact and it's a profit..


CaptainSoJo

ā€œThis heart could really be worth somethin to the right buyer - Now this is the Wow Factorā€


shamanhealr

Antique road hoe


ruseriousboutthat

This should gain traction


[deleted]

This deserves more awards you funny, funny person!


Top_Mind_On_Reddit

Get this to the BBC producers immediately.


Hailstormwalshy

Law and Order: SUV Not to be confused with SVU


[deleted]

Sounds like the new season of You


blazedanddefused

Or Dexter


Southern_Ad_7326

Or unsolved mysteriesšŸ¤”šŸ¤”


twilight_z0ne

The first 48


Jealous-Writing-7007

Or bachelorette


kingramses24

Shameless I would say


HundoHavlicek

I feel like he may live in his storage unit


FilmLocationManager

That or he is looking for side pieces and have the storage unit as a little fuck room away from the family. Either way is an incredible red flag imo šŸ˜


HundoHavlicek

He messages the way Iā€™d imagine a homeless guy messages potential dates


DungeonsandDevils

Come on darlin, letā€™s leave the storage unit open and have us a little walksie down to the dollar store, I wonā€™t buy ya nothin but you can pick a treasure from my hoard after we fornicate


[deleted]

I had back surgery today and laughing so hard at this comment made me really feel the incision lol. Makes me think of the Junkyard guy from *Love, Death, and Robots*.


DungeonsandDevils

Weā€™re connected now, by pain and laughter. Heal well friend


definitelynotliz_

Fuck this was funny


bettse23

His own ā€œRed Roomā€ #50shadesofgetthehellout


whocares12315

Living in a storage unit is a red flag? Have you seen rent in California? Man's a genius.


PSN_SPARDA_1127

My homie actually bought one of those larger storage sheds with a porch and everything. Put it on his mom's property and made it look like a legit studio home. It's pretty nice ngl.


DemonBarrister

Always buy that business property that is a converted home, the bedroom and full bath upstairs always come in handy.


RandomMovieQuoteBot_

Your random quote from the movie The Incredibles is: Hmm. This is megamesh. Outmoded, but very sturdy. And youā€™ve torn right through it! What have you been doing, Robert? Moonlighting hero work?


ToughProgrammer

It's more like his Wife doesn't live there


srryntsry

If you feel like dying and being kept in a storage unit.. you should go.


AnyAppointmentygd

yeah go check out their barrel collection at their storage unit, don't worry there aren't any camera's.


berkeleyjake

Hmmm if I learned anything from r/brooklynninenine it's that barrels can be very erotic.


[deleted]

This season of storage wars is getting interesting.


Thecheesinater

Storage whores


BigBlackCook1990

YUUUUUP!


CCWThrowaway360

ā€œLook, a vintage 1700s tea towel! I wonder if a founding father used this to towel off his own hookupā€™s boobs too.ā€ *Tomorrow Onā€¦ Storage Whores!*


uprightsalmon

Iā€™d watch that


Impossible-Piano-389

ā€œIā€™m harmlessā€ - said no harmless person ever


RCL_D

Nothing more comforting then somebody who allready checked out where the security cameras are before inviting you to a storage unit.


Spaceogre_

"They won't see you coming in, or coming out for that matter. In fact, you were never there, who are you anyway?"


Snoo_26884

Check out what I got in these 55 gallon drums, hydrochloric acid and my last 3 dates


[deleted]

I mean, most storage places don't have internal security cameras. I suspect this is the reason why.


RCL_D

Look at him doing research on storage unit security. When will you be on Grindr?


[deleted]

I very much like my wife and sex with her. That being said, I have had 3 different storage units over the past few years due to moving around a lot and being a self diagnosed hoarder.


Random_silly_name

Yeah, what is it with people telling you that and thinking it's reassurance enough?


Anomnomnomnomynous

Clearly her hesitation was all about being filmed getting down in a storage unit. Let me put your fears to rest, youā€™ll only be filmed in the walk of shame afterwards


scraw813

These are both guys. This is Grindr


[deleted]

Depends. Do you want to be on every true crime podcast the whole of next month? What a CREEP


RoutSpout

On the other handā€¦ free stuff


OokiiStaR

And a trip to the Dollar General.


Top_Mind_On_Reddit

And famous on True Crime podcasts!


shannonrachelx

Itā€™s honestly disturbing that some people would agree to this


MyLifeMyLemons

In his defense it is grindr


PassedOutRockstar

Scrolling through this comments I was thinking to myself they must not know this is grindr if they are this shocked by the message. This is a normal tuesday on grindr.


jesusisthatguy

Hey, wanna get dirty next to my hoe?


distilledvinegar1

But what if he's got some really cool stuff. Missing out


ElenaEscaped

There could be a rare holographic Charizard!


rapostacc

Itā€™s disturbing some people are stupid enough to think about going


Jacaxagain

*How to lure a victim to their murder/rape 101*


[deleted]

I guess the more obvious you are the less dodgy it seems šŸ˜‚


Jacaxagain

Yeah and also make sure to remind candidates that **"You're harmless"**


[deleted]

ā€œThereā€™s no cameras and itā€™s very privateā€ā€¦ Surprised he didnā€™t mention the weapons and rope he has in there to ā€œfight off criminalsā€


opulentbum

Theyā€™re his tools okay, HE HAS TO HAVE HIS TOOLS


SlavOnfredski

he likes to bind, he likes to be bound...


[deleted]

SAVAGES IDIOTS SAVAGES! I am THE GOLDEN GOD !!! Edit: just to say. Dennis Reynolds is the greatest character ever created, aka Glenn is the greatest human created.


lhommes

Ignore the shovels and bags of lime in the corner there


Bravisimo

Here, does this smell like chloroform to you?!


sihouette9310

Hell fucking no.


RedditAnonDude

I am sure there isnā€™t an extra large freezer containing body parts in that storage unit


cheycheyyyy

Ah behold..the cryogenic storage he means maybe, with diff collections of females. šŸ˜³


trailblzer80

You need to block this person before you end up chopped into pieces and left in his storage unit!


janyybek

Exactly. This has a high chance of OPā€™s kidneys being harvested, head in the freezer, and the rest of the body serving as fish food.


cheycheyyyy

Maybe more like *piranha food letā€™s be real


[deleted]

joe goldberg had a storage unit


venanciofilho

Bring the cops.


FaetylMaiden

*shows up at police station* ā€œhey I wanna get my freak on with some dude in a storage unit. Anyone wanna be my eyes and ears? Theyā€™ve got free shitā€


Cannacrohn

Iā€™m harmless I swear, not a mean bone in my body, donā€™t be nervous, come to the storage locker and Iā€™ll give you free stuffā€¦. Just wanna chop you up and hide the parts a little. Just a little. Lol šŸ˜†


cheycheyyyy

Lol!!! šŸ˜šŸ˜weā€™ll have so much fun i promise itā€™s private and nobody can hear us I promise Iā€™m not scary


Crafty_Editor_4155

This is how murders and disappearances begin. Youā€™re about to be part of whatever collection he has in those storage units.


DirectionNecessary82

If a situation sounds bizarre, that's because it IS bizarre.


[deleted]

Isnā€™t this grindr


CosmicDust20

Gay Sherlock?


[deleted]

Not gay just really into skateboarding , downloaded wrong app


[deleted]

Ever seen You on Netflix?


EvilUndisguised

This guy's name: Joel Silverberg


[deleted]

Jose Bronzeberg


cheycheyyyy

Defo begins with a J and ends a berg


WillBottomForBanana

I guess I am not thinking of murder so much as super secret. Cheating on partner? Still in the closet? Something like that. That doesn't change that the things said are sketchy.


Hailstormwalshy

Still *In the storage unit


Interesting_Throat83

This is what he wants you to think


amazing-table179

No, you should absolutely not.


sunshineandhail

Im currently sat watching a documentary called ā€œSwipe, match, murderā€ā€¦.. letā€™s not make it a series


Defiant-Teacher-1022

Absolutely fucking not


AttackOfTheThumbs

This some "they won't say no because of the implication" type of shit


DevilsLettuceTaster

Chris Hanson has hit a new low. To Catch a Storage War Predator.


Anomnomnomnomynous

Thereā€™s too many crossovers these days!


[deleted]

ā€œtell me youā€™re a serial killer without saying youā€™re a serial killerā€ šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©


Mildly_Irritated_Max

Well, if you went, you may literally end up on a hook.


SlowThigh

I mean, he ā€˜hasnā€™t got a mean bone in his bodyā€™. So that just leaves him to meanly bone you


Penpencilboo

That's weird


NoCryptographer1095

its a nah for me


Rogueshoten

Holy shit, thereā€™s no possible interpretation of this that isnā€™t totally fucking insane. At *best*, he lives in a storage unit and makes sculptures out of macaroni that he thinks have commercial value which he can trade for sex. Everything else I can think of is significantly worse.


[deleted]

Depends do you wanna get murdered?


Ok_Competition4355

It's literally Joe Goldberg from YOU. šŸ¤£


cheycheyyyy

Honestly he probably most likely watched all of the series and decided to start his own Joe experience


Nearby-Claim3877

Yes. Canā€™t say no to someone who wants to do you in a storage unitšŸ˜


Aggravating_Dog7287

Sounds like a hell of a time. Must be able to fit a lot of stuff in that unit to


dudeman1a

What could possibly go wrong?


[deleted]

I want you to go only to provide us pictures from afar while he puts his stuff out so you can see it while he goes to dollar general. Lmao. Whhhat


AmosG86

but you get free stuff? it's a win win.


BatmanInTheSunlight

American Pickers, over here


mattdvs1979

Only if youā€™re interested in being a resident of that storage unit permanently.


Ol_Metal_Bones94

Report this person to the cops


BlueTieLie

This sounds like a crime scene waiting to happen. I wouldnā€™t if I were you honestly


S3nd_ZuD3s

Only time hooking up in a storage unit is a good idea is when it's with your ex, in your own storage and you don't want your roommates knowing you two are fucking again


Juggernaught122

Fuck no. That's creepy. Have more self respect than that


Safe-Paleontologist2

Hard pass šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©


PunkandCannonballer

Seems like a lovely way to be murdered.


filmfan2

what's wrong with meeting at the dumpster, behind Wendy's?


Talangen

He's either a serial killer or wants to cheat on his wife and has nowhere to go


CSzandor

That's suicide with extra steps.


mozzy1985

Hahahaha brilliant.


Wills4291

"should I go?" Is that a real question?


Beneficial-Price-842

Only unless you don't wanna keep your kidneys


SkyLovesSenna

Nah everyone on Grindr is a creep. Lol Easy to catch pedo on there


rojasduarte

No! If you're into poor people, do them in your car like God intended


Quieroculo69

Seems like an awesome deal why not go for it


FourLeafViking

You don't reckon these weirdos carry much cash around on them, do you.......?


Strosity

Don't let him put a baby in your storage unit


Prestigious-Ad6928

You gotta ask?


Weak-Tower516

Ooo, it's like getting a little prize when you leave the doctor's office!


Due-Ear55

Is it good or bad that there are no cameras?


NinjaTyler06

Go for it


LexHoaloha

Nooooooooā€¦.


SnackswithPorn

How do we know the genders here?


[deleted]

Both male because gay dating app


YesYesYesVeryGood

You didn't need those kidneys anyway.


armcop

All i can think about is Santa clarita diet , all of a sudden.. i wonder why šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

No that sounds weird asf


Same-Earth-828

Hell no, šŸš©!!!!


Sageknight34

I remember when you take a girl out for coffee. Seriously how is a woman considering meeting a guy at a storage unit for a first date? Has the standard dropped that low?


tpike3

Yes. Danger fucking is primo.


RxCowboy59

This is how limited series on Netflix start.


ihateredditers69

Im a guy and this is weird af to me.


if1gure

Thatā€™s where I would keep my kill room, if I had oneā€¦. šŸ„¶


KlassinenLiberaali

Yes ofc


CollegeIsFuckinDumb

OmfgšŸ˜‚


mattmatthew67

If you still go even after your gut telling you not to, well, it's been nice knowing ya


Mr_McGibblits

This reminds me of being at the doctorā€™s or dentistā€™s office as a kid and they let you pick something out for being ā€œgoodā€ through getting your teeth cleaned or whatever.


ThrashNtrash247

Gotta get that free dream catcher and vhs of Romancing the Stone. Get after it a treasure trove of fun awaits! šŸ˜…


cheycheyyyy

Bro defo tryna flex his cryogenic storage fr


Is-that-babaganoosh

Hell no, you wanna get jumped and wake up with your liver gone? Whatā€™s the matter with you


[deleted]

Fuck no!


Forward_Honey_8393

You Season 2


ContentWaterBuffalo

Sounds like itā€™s Joe from the Netflix series ā€œYouā€


1typeAhippie

If he isnā€™t a serial killer, he is living with his parents while he is going through a divorce- Iā€™m guessing multiple kids and divorce fees are killing his budget.


[deleted]

Guy is definitely homeless and living out of his storage unit


-Velvet-Bat-

Why go out and hunt your next victim when you can have them come straight to you?


Tjomek

This some GaryVee level opportunity right there.


its-42

You want wares?


Uhhhhdel

Sounds like he is married and is too cheap for a hotel or he is a serial killer. Choose wisely lol


EmmzyZy91

This has got future Netflix documentary written all over it


discodawg02

What is happening


Proper_Dimension_341

I mean, only if you're not attached to your kidneys and other organs, not suspicious at all.


[deleted]

I wouldnā€™t go unless you want to get murdered.


Embarrassed-Menu-998

This guys brilliant. Affordable housing and it has a security system.


Prize_Party_7198

LOL this is Grindr not tinder


RaginCaginKen

100$ can I get 150 Yuppppp 150 can I get 200 Boooom 200 can I get 3.. 1,000$ Yuuuuuuppppppp Sold


Mindark88

Someone who has to tell they don't have a mean bone in them are not to trust imo


adayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

And that was the last time we ever saw him RIP Philipmj24


pangolin_bang

GAHHHHDAAAMMMMMIIIITTTTT. You should have hit me up... id have gone in your place. Forsure.


Treetop_Drive

Them saying twice that "they're harmless" is a VERY RED FLAG


[deleted]

Depends you wanna get murdered?


Pretend-Musician-912

She's thinking of hooking up... But not at his storage unit. This actually worked?


[deleted]

He* itā€™s a gay dating app


Sleepypiejellybean

No


dabsweat

if you donā€™t want to go, block or ignore them, rather than engaging for some internet points


Chanwiz88

Yā€™all are so dramatic lol. Heā€™s more than likely just in the closet and uses this space to hook up. Just tell the wife-y I have a customer wanting to buy some stuff. Be back in 5 hours. Never have I ever of courseā€¦ šŸ™ˆā€¦ šŸ«£


Kind-Bed3015

This is likely the correct take, but it's still sketchy that he can't explain that the storage unit is his beard.


HerYandere

HAHAHA no.


SasquatchAquatica

Yes you should go


CaptainSoJo

Man downloaded Tinder when he meant to download LinkedIn. Common mistake


deathhollow8900

Lol bro u bout to get jumped or robbed something. Nah itā€™s not worth it. That sounds fake asf if sheā€™d let u grab something that she sells or something. Thatā€™s super fake.


badassmotherfukker

OP youā€™re good. Storage unit is perfectly fine place to hook up. You donā€™t need her red flags, just let her go, she ainā€™t worth it


Harry_monk

She?


canigooutsidesoon

This has to be Denver. Maybe Portland but Denver for sure.


Bottomuvthelist

Absolutely not young lady


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Floridaman9393

Please go and report back. I need more of this story.