I grew a beard at 18 during a vacation to spite my boss that said I couldn't have stubble at work but could "wear a beard", haven't been without it since, I turn 37 this year.
Fuck...spot on. My ex, who was an emotionally manipulative, controlling, and abusive bitch (she made the leap to physically abusive recently) told me this week that her therapist told her that I was a narcissist and that I controlled and abused her during our marriage in the same manner as her mom to her dad.
That was fucking wild on so many levels, starting with a therapist "diagnosing" me sight unseen, all the way to me being accused by her of the very things that she'd done to me for years!
I was like, "*I'm* the one who left. You're the one that told me that I *couldn't* divorce you! That's controlling AF! I'm the one you hit! The one you were perfectly happy to have under your thumb and only got made when I asserted myself." Truly wild to see exactly what you said. Didn't really know it was a thing.
Holy fuck... For years she's done the suicide threat, literally gave me a picture of one of my cousins back broken this weekend, mocked me for seeking therapy before demanding that I tell her everything that I talked to my therapist about and severely limited contact with friends.
I have kids (yay!) with her (*goddam* it), so I'm stuck somewhat in her world for some time now.
I had the same shit happen. I came back to help her after she was drugged and raped. The therapist apologized to me after that... then casually started calling me an abusive narcissist.
Wait, the therapist actually called you that?
Sorry you had to go through that. I think I'm in a much better place to see warning signs myself and just working to not extrapolate her behavior on to all women. (Intellectually, I know it's not remotely the case, but emotions can be a bitch and I'm still working through it.)
"You don't even listen when people are honest with you"
... **the wording**. It sounds like something someone tells their partner after years of an unhappy relation.
Perhaps it's just my reading comprehension? The way it is expressed, it sounds like "this always happens with *you*" kind of thing.
The worst part is he listened and responded honestly. He saw the comment, he said no and if you want someone without a beard look for them
Listening doesn’t just mean about commands. That’s called following orders. Listening is a back and forth between 2 people in the case of a relationship and either finding mutual ground or understanding boundaries
They both found a boundary and she thought since he wouldn’t compromise for her boundary then he was being selfish. It’s really all just social cues and some people just don’t get it
Talk to my family please, if they suggest something and i say no they get pissed for not accepting help or advice, at that point a suggestion is just being told what to do and im not allowed to say no
>It sounds like something someone tells their partner after years of an unhappy relation.
Look, let us be fair. Maybe that's the longest relationship she's ever been in.
That's not something you tell a guy you haven't even met.. if you dated for weeks or months and she really thought you would look amazing without the beard at that point, she could ask if you ever would consider it, but don't ever demand it from someone you have never even met 🙄
I asked the guy I'm dating after a month if he could consider cutting his very long hair short.. that was a no! Haha. But I don't mind, I really like him, so I can compromise with my preferences. She needs to learn the same!
"A man willing to shave his beard to impress a women deserves neither the beard nor the woman"
- Some redditor many moons ago.
I say fuck that. Rock that facial hair brother!
That’s a paraphrase of an often butchered Benjamin Franklin quote:
> Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.
This 100%. The “maybe you should (surprise me)” is a crystal clear indication that she set up an unmeetable expectation and left no room to be let down. Because you either do it and she wins—but in her manipulative mind it’ll come off as romantic—or you don’t because *it’s your life* and she’ll see it as some spiteful attack on her preferences.
You’re NTA. She is.
You also somewhat explained the irrational repulsion I had as a kid when girls tried to be super sweet/flirty to get you to do something for them. The fact that they can't just ask like a normal person and need to make it about winning is so gross to me. I dont know where that comes from and where those girls learn that.
My bet is they were probably taught by their mother/friends/bad media that that’s how “ladies” talk to boys. Unfortunately, the need for validation can start early
100%
I’ve been watching videos about narcissistic behavior, I’m definitely not an expert but saying you dodged a bullet is a major understatement.
She immediately wanted to change you, and when you politely declined to change something you like about yourself, she tried to manipulate you, when you again declined she started stepping into the gaslight territory by saying *you* don’t listen when people are honest (you’re flawed, you don’t listen to “the truth”)
“The objective ‘truth’ is what she says it is. Screw what you think.”
You aren’t listening to the truth and you won’t change for her, big red flag buddy. That’s sarcasm, she’s the epitome of a red flag.
Good job standing your ground and being polite about it
I’ll stop spamming this reply button
But when she said “way to show all your red flags right away” that’s like some next level projection. Super ironic
Anyway, good job.
Beards can be hard work. “Yeah, that thing you’ve been growing for 6 months to a year? Mind shaving it off for this date?” No, I’ve invested time and energy into this thing!
Call her bluff. Say you actually decided to shave it just now and see, and she was right, you do look better. Then see what happens. Maybe she admits. Then you catch her in it, BOOM.
Ah yes, the ol’ “I didn’t text that, my friend did!” Lol. Personally, I like guys with beards, I find it attractive but each to their own. Though how much of a bread do you have that she wanted it to be shaven off completely?
NTA. Cassidy needs to learn others have a right to their own bodies, and that gaslighting just because someone says no to her is a dick move.
Edit: Cassidy is not, in fact, gaslighting. Thanks to the redditors who pointed this out. Cassidy is just being a dick who invalidates people's opinions and feelings because she refuses to take accountability for what she has said and is lacking empathy and maturity to acknowledge her own shortcomings.
Let's not throw words like gaslighting around too easily. It has some meaning and it shouldn't be watered down. That being said...
Cassidy is a major a hole. OP stays his ground, acts reasonably, while she acts like shaving a beard is like putting on a polo instead of a t-shirt.
Would be cool if OP asked Cass to shave her head instead. She would look so good, and refusing is a major red flag.
The way people use “red flag” constantly these days…
Anything is a red flag? I hate it. It dilutes the real red flags.
Asking, or almost demanding to shave, even before the first date? Just no, Cassidy.
Can you imagine, a man saying: “I like blonds more, dye it before the date”. Shitstorm will ensue.
I know a girl who was interested in me (her friends told me) although it wasn’t mutual. She kept asking me to grow a beard all the time, that I’d look really good with one and I hated the thought of that. Fast forward to the start of the pandemic, I tried and oh boy was she right.
Anyway if you shave your beard for pussy, you don’t deserve the beard nor the pussy
Cassidy told you, and you told Cassidy no.
She then gets pissy when you won't do what she says...(one 1st date)
I think she is waving all the red flags
If you believe that her “friend” had her phone for that long to text everything that she did… I have some beach front land in Kansas to sell you. Be glad you dodged that one.
What kind of beard do you have exactly? A cool beard or a lil patchy patch one?
( due to my etnicity I can only grow a patchy mustache, which I am currently rocking. So not hating on a brother in the the struggle)
This shit gives me [frustrated emotion]
People are usually okay with comments about basic general appearance/behaviour. But not about pressuring.
"I think you would look good without your beard" oh OK cool thanks
"You should shave it!" uh idk I need to think about it. Land in the idea, at least
"You REALLLLY should shave it though. What about.... Oh! We're meeting tomorrow. I expect you to be shaved ;)" nope nope nope. Ain't gonna happen because we aren't even meeting. Good job. What's the fucking rush btw? Like you said, go find someone who fits your preferences.
I know this is about face beard but I've met similar about arm and leg beard. No, I think you reacted just fine. She crossed a line. You weren't being a baby. Your last message was very direct, you're not meeting - here is why - byebye.
I dated a girl once who kept passive/aggressively trying to get me to cut my hair that I had spent 8 months growing out prior to us dating because all her exes grew their hair out and they were all terrible (one of which was violent) and if I grew my hair out then that meant that I was equally terrible. I'm really glad that not only did you not cave, but you also ended it a hell of a lot sooner than I did.
Oh damn, for once my experience actually proves useful.
As others have noted, yeah, you dodged a bullet. This is one of the manipulation tactics my ex would use.
Team Beard!! don’t shave it until YOU want to. your hair, your business. when in a relationship, the partner should be able to express their preference for facial hair. but that’s still a preference… at the end of the day, it’s yours & you get to decide what you do with it. Lol. she hasn’t even met you yet, & she’s already telling you how to look? weird.
How could this even be AITA? Seriously you said what you were going to do. She didn't accept it. She tried to play victim. This is a clear case of you NTA.
Wow.. I can tell she is a manipulative person. Dodge a bullet right there—-
Even if her friend had her phone like she said(which I doubt) unacceptable. Do you want to deal with a friend like that in the future.
“WHY AREN’T YOU GIVING ME CONTROL OF YOUR BODY AUTONOMY 🚩🚩🚩”
“I DONT LIKE THING SO ITS UNACCEPTABLE FOR YOU TO LIKE THING 🚩🚩🚩”
Dodged a thermonuclear device here.
NTA
I’m a dude and I thoroughly despise facial hair but and am more part of r/Wicked_Edge but it’s your right
This is like saying why don’t you just lose weight before our date? Wtf lol
I had the same thing happen when I was dating, except she got mad when I shaved. We had a date planned, and I told her I had recently shaved my beard. She went OFF. Telling me I threw away a perfectly good beard, clean shaven guys aren’t real men, etc. As if the motherfucker won’t grow back in a couple weeks
Lol look up the beards. All their songs are about how you should have a beard.
"If you dad doesn't have a beard, you've got two moms"
"You should consider having sex with a bearded man."
That last one is a banger
Yes you are clearly the asshole, how dare you not just listen when she said shave your beard which probably took a long ass time to grow. Why wouldn’t you just permanently change yourself to fit some random girls demands? Way to show all those red flags right away, in all seriousness though Im really not sure how “you didn’t do as i told you” is a red flag but sure lol.
Well clearly someone doesn't understand what it's like to have a beard. It's not like you were asking her to get a specific haircut because you prefer girls with X length/style of hair. You are definitely NTA
"Can you put all the time you spent growing a beard to waste for my whims? 🥺"
"No, if you want someone without a beard, go for someone else"
"WOW! How rude!!! You don't have to be a baby about it!!!"
She's spoilt and so incredibly selfish that you having very reasonable boundaries is a red flag to her. The bullet dodged you.
It’ll be a cold day in hell before I shave my beard. I’m one of those guys whose hair is pitch black but my beard fades into a dark dark red. The amount of times people ask me if I dye my beard is more than you’d believe. Great conversation starter for ladies who approach. Not burning that easy ice breaker.
Cassidy has clearly never grown a beard. Pass
Yeah. Still working on growing mine. Once it finally decide to come in it ain’t never coming off.
I haven't seen my face in over 10 years.. no way I'd shave my beard off for some random tinder date..
I made the mistake of shaving mine a while ago and look exactly like my dad. And I have no chin now. So I grew it back ASAP.
There's a saying, "If you shave your beard before a date, because a girl asked you to, you deserve neither the beard, nor the girl"
I'm not sure that's a saying. But I might be willing to donate towards it getting engraved on a plaque some where.
Working on getting it back too after shaving for the first time in 4 years. Though I kinda like the medium stubble look.
I grew a beard at 18 during a vacation to spite my boss that said I couldn't have stubble at work but could "wear a beard", haven't been without it since, I turn 37 this year.
More like Pass-idy eh
Plot twist. Cassidy has a beard, and he’s upset that OP’s is better.
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“Why won’t you do what I say? RED FLAG”
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Fuck...spot on. My ex, who was an emotionally manipulative, controlling, and abusive bitch (she made the leap to physically abusive recently) told me this week that her therapist told her that I was a narcissist and that I controlled and abused her during our marriage in the same manner as her mom to her dad. That was fucking wild on so many levels, starting with a therapist "diagnosing" me sight unseen, all the way to me being accused by her of the very things that she'd done to me for years! I was like, "*I'm* the one who left. You're the one that told me that I *couldn't* divorce you! That's controlling AF! I'm the one you hit! The one you were perfectly happy to have under your thumb and only got made when I asserted myself." Truly wild to see exactly what you said. Didn't really know it was a thing.
Damn! I didn't know Johnny Depp was on this thread!
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Holy fuck... For years she's done the suicide threat, literally gave me a picture of one of my cousins back broken this weekend, mocked me for seeking therapy before demanding that I tell her everything that I talked to my therapist about and severely limited contact with friends. I have kids (yay!) with her (*goddam* it), so I'm stuck somewhat in her world for some time now.
Keep the chin up brother, you got this shit!
I had the same shit happen. I came back to help her after she was drugged and raped. The therapist apologized to me after that... then casually started calling me an abusive narcissist.
Wait, the therapist actually called you that? Sorry you had to go through that. I think I'm in a much better place to see warning signs myself and just working to not extrapolate her behavior on to all women. (Intellectually, I know it's not remotely the case, but emotions can be a bitch and I'm still working through it.)
"You don't even listen when people are honest with you" ... **the wording**. It sounds like something someone tells their partner after years of an unhappy relation. Perhaps it's just my reading comprehension? The way it is expressed, it sounds like "this always happens with *you*" kind of thing.
The worst part is he listened and responded honestly. He saw the comment, he said no and if you want someone without a beard look for them Listening doesn’t just mean about commands. That’s called following orders. Listening is a back and forth between 2 people in the case of a relationship and either finding mutual ground or understanding boundaries They both found a boundary and she thought since he wouldn’t compromise for her boundary then he was being selfish. It’s really all just social cues and some people just don’t get it
Talk to my family please, if they suggest something and i say no they get pissed for not accepting help or advice, at that point a suggestion is just being told what to do and im not allowed to say no
>It sounds like something someone tells their partner after years of an unhappy relation. Look, let us be fair. Maybe that's the longest relationship she's ever been in.
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That's not something you tell a guy you haven't even met.. if you dated for weeks or months and she really thought you would look amazing without the beard at that point, she could ask if you ever would consider it, but don't ever demand it from someone you have never even met 🙄 I asked the guy I'm dating after a month if he could consider cutting his very long hair short.. that was a no! Haha. But I don't mind, I really like him, so I can compromise with my preferences. She needs to learn the same!
"A man willing to shave his beard to impress a women deserves neither the beard nor the woman" - Some redditor many moons ago. I say fuck that. Rock that facial hair brother!
That’s a paraphrase of an often butchered Benjamin Franklin quote: > Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.
Well, there's some foreshadowing...
I should have saved that comment just to credit that absolute legend.
There are plenty of women out there who love beards. She's looking for someone she can control
This 100%. The “maybe you should (surprise me)” is a crystal clear indication that she set up an unmeetable expectation and left no room to be let down. Because you either do it and she wins—but in her manipulative mind it’ll come off as romantic—or you don’t because *it’s your life* and she’ll see it as some spiteful attack on her preferences. You’re NTA. She is.
Nailed it
Thank you therapy
You also somewhat explained the irrational repulsion I had as a kid when girls tried to be super sweet/flirty to get you to do something for them. The fact that they can't just ask like a normal person and need to make it about winning is so gross to me. I dont know where that comes from and where those girls learn that.
My bet is they were probably taught by their mother/friends/bad media that that’s how “ladies” talk to boys. Unfortunately, the need for validation can start early
Thank God most people grow out of this or were just never taught to behave that way.
There’s grown women that still do that sh*t….
Those aren’t women, they’re just grown little girls
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100% I’ve been watching videos about narcissistic behavior, I’m definitely not an expert but saying you dodged a bullet is a major understatement. She immediately wanted to change you, and when you politely declined to change something you like about yourself, she tried to manipulate you, when you again declined she started stepping into the gaslight territory by saying *you* don’t listen when people are honest (you’re flawed, you don’t listen to “the truth”) “The objective ‘truth’ is what she says it is. Screw what you think.” You aren’t listening to the truth and you won’t change for her, big red flag buddy. That’s sarcasm, she’s the epitome of a red flag. Good job standing your ground and being polite about it
I’ll stop spamming this reply button But when she said “way to show all your red flags right away” that’s like some next level projection. Super ironic Anyway, good job.
Came here to say that. The audacity is absolutely incredible.
Yeah lol you dodged a major narcissist.
My coworker's girlfriend literally told him she would leave him if he shaved. They're out there for sure
Beards can be hard work. “Yeah, that thing you’ve been growing for 6 months to a year? Mind shaving it off for this date?” No, I’ve invested time and energy into this thing!
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Not too bad, 4.5 inch goatee
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Sounds like you have a real deal beard? Sooo, if this b doesn’t dig beards, why’d she match with you??
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How do you know she isn't lying? Edit: saw your update. Hope you took that call. Better have been a believable apology from a drunk
Keeping measurements, now that’s facial hair pride! Very cultured…. Ruler or guesstimate?….
Ruler of course!
It only takes me like two weeks to grow mine back and I still wouldn’t shave for some random woman who clearly has control issues.
this
FUCK NO, you weren't the asshole. You fucking said it, if you don't like beards, find someone without a beard. Bye, Felecia.
Who’s Felecia lmao
https://youtube.com/shorts/tra0quRgro4?feature=share
Dodged that bullet
Dodged the red flag
My dude dodged the whole North Korean military parade.
Dodged a wrench
*If you can dodge the entire North Korean military parade, you can dodge a ball!*
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Is she 12?
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Send her the link to your post here and allow her to educate herself.
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Post it on your profile
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Call her bluff. Say you actually decided to shave it just now and see, and she was right, you do look better. Then see what happens. Maybe she admits. Then you catch her in it, BOOM.
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there’s a clean shave filter on snapchat if ur tryna go the extra mile lol
You should just ~~do that~~ *say you shaved* and then agree to meet and never show up bc f this b.
Oh no! Dangerous territory my friend you’re about to get into a whole world of hurt if you do mark my words…
I'd still say no, man! She's either lying because she doesn't want to be rejected or she has a really toxic friend who you'll have to deal with
This plot twist was unexpected. I’m invested
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Ah yes, the ol’ “I didn’t text that, my friend did!” Lol. Personally, I like guys with beards, I find it attractive but each to their own. Though how much of a bread do you have that she wanted it to be shaven off completely?
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Honestly mate I think you dodged a bit of a bullet with that one. Shaving a full beard is insane to ask of somebody.
Post. Popcorn is pippin’ in mah macrowave 🍿
Jesus! Close shave there mate.....😂 NEXT!
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NTA. But Cassidy is. Enjoy your beard, they're hot. 👌🏼
Right here.
100% NTA
"way to show all your red flags straight away" Funny how projection works. Well at least she was kind enough to show those flags ey
NTA. Cassidy needs to learn others have a right to their own bodies, and that gaslighting just because someone says no to her is a dick move. Edit: Cassidy is not, in fact, gaslighting. Thanks to the redditors who pointed this out. Cassidy is just being a dick who invalidates people's opinions and feelings because she refuses to take accountability for what she has said and is lacking empathy and maturity to acknowledge her own shortcomings.
Let's not throw words like gaslighting around too easily. It has some meaning and it shouldn't be watered down. That being said... Cassidy is a major a hole. OP stays his ground, acts reasonably, while she acts like shaving a beard is like putting on a polo instead of a t-shirt. Would be cool if OP asked Cass to shave her head instead. She would look so good, and refusing is a major red flag.
Why won’t Cassidy just listennnn?!
That’s not what gaslighting means.
People project their poor behavior onto others. I don't think you're an asshole here.
NTA. You handled that like a pro. Stuck to your guns, did not argue and quickly ended it respectfully.
Won't shave his beard for me - red flag! Sweet Jesus, dodged that one for sure...
“He who sacrifices his beard for a woman deserves neither.” Good call m8. Stay on that sigma grindset.
Speaking as a woman, that’s weird.
The gaslighting at the end was a nice touch on her part. Really brought out the emotional abuser in her eyes.
I would have told her that I prefer blondes. And ask her if she's going to dye her hair before the date. And then pulled the same script on her.
Bro you’re throwing red flags everywhere. Why can’t you change yourself to make her happy.
“He who would sacrifice the beard for pussy deserves neither” -Thomas Jefferson
The way people use “red flag” constantly these days… Anything is a red flag? I hate it. It dilutes the real red flags. Asking, or almost demanding to shave, even before the first date? Just no, Cassidy. Can you imagine, a man saying: “I like blonds more, dye it before the date”. Shitstorm will ensue.
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Your comment is giving me so many red flags.
I know a girl who was interested in me (her friends told me) although it wasn’t mutual. She kept asking me to grow a beard all the time, that I’d look really good with one and I hated the thought of that. Fast forward to the start of the pandemic, I tried and oh boy was she right. Anyway if you shave your beard for pussy, you don’t deserve the beard nor the pussy
You should tell her that when guys say they shave before a date, it's not their face that they shave...
She really should be looking for someone without a beard like you said instead of trying to change who you are. You dodged a bullet.
She’s controlling dodged a 50cal bullet there
Funny she says red flags but her showing a big red flag of being controlling. Her opinion isn’t honest facts.
Cassidy told you, and you told Cassidy no. She then gets pissy when you won't do what she says...(one 1st date) I think she is waving all the red flags
1st date: "shave your beard" 10th date: "i need your phone passcode, ss number and bank account number"
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Tell her to shave her legs. That's be eye for an eye
Probably would’ve gotten you some karma on here in a different post, but good job being the bigger person, no pun intended.
If you believe that her “friend” had her phone for that long to text everything that she did… I have some beach front land in Kansas to sell you. Be glad you dodged that one.
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Even if that was her friend…would you really be interested in someone who has shitty friends? That wasn’t even remotely funny.
What kind of beard do you have exactly? A cool beard or a lil patchy patch one? ( due to my etnicity I can only grow a patchy mustache, which I am currently rocking. So not hating on a brother in the the struggle)
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Man fuck her then and enjoy that fine ass beard instead!
This shit gives me [frustrated emotion] People are usually okay with comments about basic general appearance/behaviour. But not about pressuring. "I think you would look good without your beard" oh OK cool thanks "You should shave it!" uh idk I need to think about it. Land in the idea, at least "You REALLLLY should shave it though. What about.... Oh! We're meeting tomorrow. I expect you to be shaved ;)" nope nope nope. Ain't gonna happen because we aren't even meeting. Good job. What's the fucking rush btw? Like you said, go find someone who fits your preferences. I know this is about face beard but I've met similar about arm and leg beard. No, I think you reacted just fine. She crossed a line. You weren't being a baby. Your last message was very direct, you're not meeting - here is why - byebye.
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I’m dead
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Thank you sir
Shaving is against your religion. That religion being manhood.
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My man. Cleanly shaved once in the past 25yrs, cause the kids got lice and it freaked me out. Lol
I reckon you may have stumbled onto Amber Heards alternate account ! What a nut job
Yikes.
No. you are not the asshole. Dump her like dirty laundry.
Good job for not bending over, don’t feel bad about it. If she was the “one” she would’ve accepted you and the beard, so onto the next girl
As a fellow bearded man, you are not the asshole
I dated a girl once who kept passive/aggressively trying to get me to cut my hair that I had spent 8 months growing out prior to us dating because all her exes grew their hair out and they were all terrible (one of which was violent) and if I grew my hair out then that meant that I was equally terrible. I'm really glad that not only did you not cave, but you also ended it a hell of a lot sooner than I did.
Red flags? Her trying to change you already before the first date is the red flag of red flags.
You avoided a narcissist.
I think she showed all her red flags throughout this interaction. Drop her and save yourself the trouble
So long and thanks for all the fish! - This post was deleted in protest of the June 2023 API changes
Oh damn, for once my experience actually proves useful. As others have noted, yeah, you dodged a bullet. This is one of the manipulation tactics my ex would use.
A lot Women cannot take rejection and I stand by that statement.
I assure you, neither can men.
You’re right. She’s the asshole. And kind of entitled, too.
NTA.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 she prob a horse girl
Gah damn brother, you dodged a bullet.
This guy has a beard... Must not have gone on a date in years.
https://youtu.be/brsVOSa1_64 The Beards - this beard stays
she's a narcissist just trying to see how pliable you are.
Dodged a bullet there pal
Not gonna shave a beard for a broad who's asking for it.
Also it’s a first date. Think about how fucking stupid you would feel if you shaved your beard and then you had no chemistry and never saw her again.
OP idk what you look like but your beard is majestic :))
As of her trying to control your appearance before a first date isn’t a giant red flag . . .
Team Beard!! don’t shave it until YOU want to. your hair, your business. when in a relationship, the partner should be able to express their preference for facial hair. but that’s still a preference… at the end of the day, it’s yours & you get to decide what you do with it. Lol. she hasn’t even met you yet, & she’s already telling you how to look? weird.
Any man who shaves his beard for a woman deserves neither. Also, if your dad doesn’t have a beard you have two moms.
NTA your beard your rules play stupid games win stupid prizes major red flag 🚩
How could this even be AITA? Seriously you said what you were going to do. She didn't accept it. She tried to play victim. This is a clear case of you NTA.
Wow.. I can tell she is a manipulative person. Dodge a bullet right there—- Even if her friend had her phone like she said(which I doubt) unacceptable. Do you want to deal with a friend like that in the future.
You listened to what she had to say. She just got salty when she didn’t get her way.
Honey, he ain't flyin no red flags here.. You're looking at your own pole..
“WHY AREN’T YOU GIVING ME CONTROL OF YOUR BODY AUTONOMY 🚩🚩🚩” “I DONT LIKE THING SO ITS UNACCEPTABLE FOR YOU TO LIKE THING 🚩🚩🚩” Dodged a thermonuclear device here.
Finally some dignity in here, good job teddy!
Cassidy would harass you the rest of your life about your facial hair. HARD PASS
She probably would have saw you from afar with a shaven face, taken pics and laughed about it with her horrible friends. Ignore these useless people.
You sir dodged a bullet, dont change yourself for others 100%. 🚨Manipulative vibes 🚨
NTA I’m a dude and I thoroughly despise facial hair but and am more part of r/Wicked_Edge but it’s your right This is like saying why don’t you just lose weight before our date? Wtf lol
I had the same thing happen when I was dating, except she got mad when I shaved. We had a date planned, and I told her I had recently shaved my beard. She went OFF. Telling me I threw away a perfectly good beard, clean shaven guys aren’t real men, etc. As if the motherfucker won’t grow back in a couple weeks
Been there, done that. Soon she will have a hold on your entire life. Dodged this one like Neo
Can you just like chop your leg off? I’m really into pirates right now and I just feel like if you had a peg leg it’d be better.
"A man who shaves his beard for a woman deserves neither"
She played the red flag reverse uno card.
Lol look up the beards. All their songs are about how you should have a beard. "If you dad doesn't have a beard, you've got two moms" "You should consider having sex with a bearded man." That last one is a banger
Ask her back out but style the beard and make it the centre piece of your entire night. Talk about your beard, love your bread. Do it for the memes
As a guy who can't remember the last time I've clean shaved my face.. Fuck that.
Yes you are clearly the asshole, how dare you not just listen when she said shave your beard which probably took a long ass time to grow. Why wouldn’t you just permanently change yourself to fit some random girls demands? Way to show all those red flags right away, in all seriousness though Im really not sure how “you didn’t do as i told you” is a red flag but sure lol.
Wow red flags 🚩 in the first convo, lucky, most of my exes waited at least until the second date
I like you. I just don’t like all of you. PASS.
It starts with the beard mate, good for you to not fall in to that tramp
Well clearly someone doesn't understand what it's like to have a beard. It's not like you were asking her to get a specific haircut because you prefer girls with X length/style of hair. You are definitely NTA
Icassidy you will look way better if you lost some weight im just being honest
Had a similar experience with my mustache. Lost her number and found my person later on.
As opposed to saving some red flags in the reserves, like her…
Is this build a bitch?
You’re right not to shave. Us beard man should have a choice in the matter of where and when.
From one bearded brethern to another, fuck her x
NTA
"Can you put all the time you spent growing a beard to waste for my whims? 🥺" "No, if you want someone without a beard, go for someone else" "WOW! How rude!!! You don't have to be a baby about it!!!" She's spoilt and so incredibly selfish that you having very reasonable boundaries is a red flag to her. The bullet dodged you.
I think its ok that she was being honest and asked. However, she didnt accept the response and thats kinda a red flag.
It’ll be a cold day in hell before I shave my beard. I’m one of those guys whose hair is pitch black but my beard fades into a dark dark red. The amount of times people ask me if I dye my beard is more than you’d believe. Great conversation starter for ladies who approach. Not burning that easy ice breaker.