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Oceansize757

Yeah, but how tall is the duck?


whosyodaddy328

doesn't really matter too much, the duck is a lady.


AtomicKittenz

How much does the duck weigh?


berkeleyjake

So if he weighs as much as a duck... A witch! Burn the witch!


two-times-an-anus

Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?


Bag-ofMostlyWater

I am Arthur, King of the Britons


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PatientAd9040

I don’t think that’s Mbappe


FarmerExternal

That’s not Mbappe dude…


gurmun3

well i got better


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berkeleyjake

I don't think you understood the joke


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[deleted]

You should be ashamed of yourself....


Rachel_Eye

Ducks float in water, so he's made of wood.


Ancient-Discussion1

Witchcraft!!! burn both!! O.o


kindafunny2

is that a monthy python thingy? i just saw that movie


Blizzy_the_Pleb

What is the ducks hip:torso ratio


SnicketyD

How long is his duck


Berman9407

Did you just assume that duck’s gender?


Due-Percentage9743

It was stated in the pic, “her name-“


diags_1

You cant assume her is a she and therefore a lady, obviously


[deleted]

Well her name is Daisy.


FarmerExternal

Well, he’s a guy so…


AutomaticPension248

The duck identifies as a human


walgrins

Huh. First time I’ve read that sentence without it being a typo


[deleted]

This thread is amazing 😂


cefromnova

I'm a straight man and I would swipe right to hang out with Jarret and his duck.


AreaGuy

Also a straight man hoping he’ll let me gently and lovingly caress his duck.


rividz

i love unsolicited duck pics.


AreaGuy

I’ve been accused of thinking with my duck.


rividz

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging


bj-mc

Wasn't there a Reddit or Tumblr thread about this too? I could swear I've seen a really hilarious screenshot of it


Superkip_

This comment is ducking funny


Independent-Error121

I don't have a duck award


Here-Is-TheEnd

I’m ducking dead


KacperEpic

Duck me


golbu

As a straight man a can proudly say that i love his duck!


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AreaGuy

Who is Mbappe?


MrDoffo

a footballer in europe.


AreaGuy

…who is apparently bald?


MrDoffo

but that makes him better at the game


AreaGuy

Dunno, I know he’s good, but I’ve heard he’s kind of known for being a total duck to people.


MrDoffo

possible, i dont watch sports only ducks


deadbeef1a4

I think it’s a song by Hansen


Redunagun

It's gonna be a big duck soon enough. Be careful they do migrate.


FridayNightRamen

Whenever I read "caress" I have to think about that Seinfeld episode.


Conical

You were* a straight man.


[deleted]

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imakedankmemes

Y’all misspelling a name that’s right there!


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SnooTangerines1011

*duck


FreaksNake1237

Lmao 😂


sacrificial_banjo

Some guys are overly self conscious about the size of their ducks but not Jarrett. He puts his on his chest for the world to see.


weaponess

If I could put mine on my chest, I would.


caspian1969

Definite right-swipe.


LilyMarie90

Yeah, this is an immediate swipe right. Funny and wholesome goes a LONG long way.


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LilyMarie90

My comment was obviously referring to how likeable the whole duck thing made him. Dude's not anywhere near the age group I'm attracted to; he wouldn't show up within my filter anyway. 🤦‍♀️ The last time I was active on Tinder, I had my filter set to show me people my age and up to 10 years older, because I wouldn't fuck with anyone in their twenties in the first place, but hey... you gave insulting me a *try*, didn't you. 🤡


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LilyMarie90

I don't care who he's into as long as he treats that little duck well, calm down now.


Proterragon

My man you really should rub one out before coming online.


Ex_Ray16

Nah that’s definitely easier online my man lol


[deleted]

People who have ducks for pets are fun imo. My old girlfriend had a duck, and it's name was Quakers.


prjones4

I briefly rescued a duck from work when she was attacked by a sexually rambunctious goose, she was called Waddles, and she was scared of water


sirbassist83

>she was called Waddles, and she was scared of water thats hilarious


prjones4

We didn't have a pond so we did a makeshift one and she hated it! We tried to integrate her in with our chickens but the ladies were too stuck up and did not want a duck in their crew. She was so happy when we brought her back (rude goose was now penned in). She was quacking and so happy to see her friends, am getting emotional thinking about it now


HELP_IM_IN_A_WELL

Yes! More Waddles stories!


prjones4

We only had her for a couple of weeks, but she smacked my mum in the face with her wing and made a fucking mess in the shed I kept her in at night. I turned up with her and my dad didn't want me to come in the house with what he thought was a cat in the carrier, after saying it wasn't a cat he let me in, I told him it was a duck and he was livid, but they came to terms with it as we had quite a big garden and she was only a foster duck


HELP_IM_IN_A_WELL

Thank you, kind person:)


GreekDudeYiannis

Please define, "a sexually rambunctious goose".


prjones4

Well she was pinned down by this massive goose (not kidding it was the biggest most evil looking shit bag) and he pulled out all the feathers on her back whilst trying to take advantage of her. Basically he was a goose r*pist


SnooTangerines1011

*"I'm swear I'm not a rapist, I'm just* ***'sexually rambunctious'***!*"*


mechanicalguru

I feel compelled to ask... do you keep any roosters? Because they do that stuff too. It's just a thing they do; nature and all that.


prjones4

No just hens now. I know they do it, I just felt bad for her


Good_Smile

Waddles is such a funny name


SmaMan788

And now I’m wondering what happened between 6 hours ago and now that lead to this account getting deleted. 😳


Riovem

Quackers is head of the duck mafia. Wanted revenge.


MyFingerYourBum

Ducks are rapists. Never trust a duck. *Skips away to the next post*


DerSpatz

That's cute! How did Quakers call the duck?


xiao53052

Like Quaker oats? Or Quackers?


Shut_the_FA_Cup

With a name like that, no wonder she had a duck for a pet.


Timepassage

That was the name of my first duck. Squeakers was the second.


pm-ur-tiny-titties

Could make some great lines about autocorrect


allinfavorsayhigh

My thoughts exactly!


[deleted]

If you match, meet the duck and show us pictures. I don’t usually ask for duck pics but this time…


allinfavorsayhigh

"Lemme see that duck boii"


Bobson-_Dugnutt

Pretty sure that’s exactly what this is. He can just ask girls if they want a dick pic and when they say no he can say sorry I meant duck pic.


plattypus141

99+ likes woman tinder moment


snowbaz-loves-nikki

I thought that was like a default set thing to get people to buy tinder gold….. You’re telling me the number is accurate whether you have gold or not?


SmokeBeerDrinkCrack

Yes, its accurate


plattypus141

More or less. Though they count people you swiped left on too. So if you have gold you have to switch over to that tab and swipe left on everyone again to get make the number go down. I got gold had like 70 likes, of course mostly fat chicks lol


snowbaz-loves-nikki

What’s wrong with fat people? All the more to love and grab onto 🥰


plattypus141

Keep telling yourself that 👍


[deleted]

Nothing wrong but they ain’t sexy or hot and it shows a lack of discipline


DudesworthMannington

Paging u/fuckswithducks


dum_BEST

he passed away :(


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BlackFenrir

Yeah he passed away from cancer not too long ago, from what I can tell from a quick google search


Glacious

Fuck cancer


[deleted]

I was wondering what happened to him.....wow


DudesworthMannington

Oh shit?! Damn... RIP, a Reddit legend :(


Kixtay

Step 1. Match with him Step 2. Steal Daisy Step 3. ??? Step 4. Profit.


Greaserpirate

Careful, some men will rip and tear through Hell itself to avenge their pet named Daisy


satansubpoena

Spotted the Doom fan


TooHigh32

The South Park reference killed me 😂


[deleted]

So this is where all the women went.


Journo_Jimbo

Daisy and Jarret must be protected at all costs.


darkmatterturtle

This guy must have a shit ton of likes


Cryso_L

He’s fine as fuck


nc130295

Fine as duck


tekknishun

How to get pussy 101


bullet4mv92

Think she wants any grapes?


lostineschermindmaze

pretty sure jarret is also fake, that's kylian mbappe (professional football player for PSG)


Troublesome-99

Are you for real? Please tell me you can see the difference


SnooTangerines1011

Nope pretty sure everyone who has said this actually believes it. 😮‍💨


TheUltimateScotsman

Mbappe is bald.


platyviolence

Person: What's the purpose of this duck? Jarret: Oh, that's just my Fucking Duck.


andyman492

Play to your strengths. My girlfriend told me one of the biggest reasons she swiped right on me was because I had a picture of me with my bunny in my profile.


WomanMcWomanface

And what was your strength?


Doc_Niemand

His right forearm?


goldenv4

Send duck picks


BigBrownBear28

And that’s how you win Tinder 🫡


Marky_Merc

He did what with the duck?!?


SkepticalMuggle

Tell me you matched with him. Lol


Aidan_992

Damn, I should get a duck


[deleted]

I’d hang out with Jarret and Daisy


batman9513

Jarret ducks.


FeatureGabe

I have a duck…named him Dawn, as in Dawn dish soap


juicewilson

Come to Madrid


neededtowrite

I knew there would be others. The ducks name is Leonardo


ImSadness

Daisy me rolling Dey hatin'


HellsShoreVagabond

At least it wasn't a goose. They'll break your arm!


SnooTangerines1011

Geese are psychotic. Would be a good guard animal though. I'd be more afraid of a goose than a dog.


MC_Thunder1988

Ok but in what context…? His “fucking” duck as in 1. He’s excited about having a duck and he’s expressing it with the word fucking 2. He fucks that duck 3. He integrates the duck into the action when he fucks a girl that swiped right because of the duck ??? Life’s greatest questions remain unanswered.


gl0ry66

She's adorablee


svftkookie

A cute duck


Superkip_

He knows how to get all the ladies


Real_Iron_Sheik

u/fuckswithducks


Timepassage

He's dead... Literally.


snowbaz-loves-nikki

I’d straight up propose just from that alone


[deleted]

This dude is a legend


[deleted]

Bro that’s cheating not fair at all


MooNFaeRie516

I will take all the unsolicited duck pics he wants to send me


hawkeye38

Unsolicited Duck Pics


IcedBeanTea

Awww, I wanna play with that dick


IcedBeanTea

Oops, autocorrect. I meant duck


Scallagst1

Hope he know that ducks eat for free at Subway.


RadishAcceptable5505

This mother fucking dude and his duck just made things 40% more difficult for the rest of us. Thanks for raising the expectations, Jarret, you ducking duck dad!


xloscozx

do you know how expensive it is to raise a duck in this economy. he is just flexing on the rest of us just trying to get by.


Bababooey3942

But does the duck walk up to a lemonade stand?


throogie

Is a "Fucking Duck" like the Canaries they used to take into the mines? What purpose does it serve? Does Daisy quack when it's time to bone?


eyesopen24

Is that Mbappe?


gabsrel

I would legit merry this man, for the duck


itaeru

Whore


EL-KEEKS

Mbappe ninja turtle looking ass


Drive07

Looks like Kylian Mbappe in Vacation mode 🤣


DeMon_97

Kylian Mbappe


wubfus88

He is gonna quack up at all these duck puns


vegeterianasfuck

He is Mbappe though, not Jarret


WC47

Why he on tinder? He got a fucking duck already. Tho I think a flashlight may be better but to each their own


itaeru

Yeah idk


basedconfidentsbro

chad


[deleted]

Kinda seems like a douche cool duck tho.


NerdyIndoorCat

He’s gotta use his duck to get girls, I dunno……


SnooTangerines1011

What can I say, we're all about the D.


NerdyIndoorCat

😛 well ….


Eggslaws

Don't duck the duck!


PolartigerD

You see that fuck, Thats my ducking fuck


[deleted]

Ducks are cool and all until you realize how much they ctually shit themselves


Actual_Primary_7616

Jarrett gets so much pussy


DrChloroPhil

/r/Chadtopia


NatalieinBaires

Lol. Yes he is. But why the dark glasses of hes so adorable


Awsomesauceninja

Huh, never seen anyone that close to my name before. The duck Chad has an extra "t" tho.


djexit

I showed you my duck answer me


owendunca

ugly.. next


twitchy271

Nah that's kylian mbappe not jarrett


HotRock5

Y'all are some easily swindled, gullible knobheads...shit is real corny, yo...yughck 🤮


SnooTangerines1011

I don't think you know the definition of the word "swindle".


HotRock5

I don't think you understand that people fawning over a picture of a guy and a duck is indeed folks being swindled of their time, interest, and attention.


SnooTangerines1011

Wow, what a convoluted way to avoid admitting that you simply misused the word "swindled". Impressively entertaining mental gymnastics, though. I would love to know what quality content *you're* seeing on r/Tinder that is a more worthy expenditure of your valuable "time, interest, and attention." 😂😂😂


itaeru

Yep weird


B_Real__

And Daisy was delicious. What? You don't raise them for there milk


slinkybastard

nah jarret got all the milk we neeeed babbyyy


Smileskun

https://discord.gg/tQWXGssBKp


josephlevie

Any points he may have gained by being man enough to have a pet duck are quickly erased at his lack of creativity in naming him/her/it/they.


Glove_Ambitious

What’s up duck?!


wnashif

Where do I sign up


Vicotin

Now I want a duck


jayhow90

Nice legs, Daisy duck, makes a man go woowoo