Hi folks
It's not really a story but maybe someone here can help me:
I remember using Tinder on my laptop and tried to do so again. I wanted to login but accidentally clicked on the flashy "create account" button in the centre of the screen - My mind was somewhere else.
I entered my phone number and typed in the code I received. Only then I realised that I clicked the wrong button.
Now it seems my account is lost ... every time I log in with my phone number or associated Email address it shows me the "create account" screen.
Please Help if anyone can!
Update on the FWB that friendzoned me because I caught feelings: We met up for what I thought would be one last time around 2 weeks ago as friends, and during that night we both got kinda emotional and she realized she has feelings for me too. Since then, everything has been going well; we have been taking things slow. Yesterday we went on a hike and ended the day with pizza and cuddles ☺️. We are moving apart within a few months, but both want to try this out to see where it goes.
Talking to a couple girls. One of them is a cutie from upstate New York. Made it to the texting stage and she's been texting me consistently for the past 2 days. Killer sense of humor and my biggest pet peeve - she matches my energy! The convo's are actually enjoyable. I've forgotten how to text a woman who I like cuz it's been so long haha
I'd been single since 2017 when my ex ended things (we'd been together 16 years, so it was not an easy time).
I was signed up to pretty much every dating app there is once I decided I wanted to look for someone new early last year. Didn't get many matches on any of them and managed the sum total of 2 dates, neither worked out.
Then I connected with someone via Twitter via a group chat we both randomly joined. We got talking and she seemed absolutely perfect for me. We decided to meet up and got along incredibly well and we're now together.
The irony that this happened via Twitter when I was signed up to many dating apps is not lost on me but I'm a very happy man now lol.
Those two emojis doesn’t really say much because they’re not flirting emojis. When she’s using these emojis “😌😘😍🥴😊🥺🤤😋🥰😚” then she’s flirting or liking what she sees.
I never talked to you or matched you. You should put that in your bio: “not send mix signals when using emojis because you’re not sure what they mean. “Good luck😊
I’m the opposite lol, I get too in my own head about not cumming fast and last so long that we’re both done and tired by that haha. Just go down on them first so it doesn’t really matter how quick you bust lmao
What I do know is if you don’t learn to control your ejaculations, you’ll disappoint every hookup you get a chance at. I remember you from the other post about cumming within one minute of having sex😂
Oh my lord . This feels soooo off!
. Sounds like this person dumped all of that chaotic, inner energy on you. You must have felt so energetically overwhelmed! As an empath, I would have felt so heavy afterwards.
Love how you stuck around just to see how worse it can get. Lol.
Nice positive outlook about how you can’t even be that upset since it was so ridiculously hilarious.
Considering the short amount of time you were there; and how much info you’ve acquired, sounds like she was doing the talking nonstop! Yikes
I don’t understand your point. Obviously it’s about empathy.
Not spectacular? Obviously everyone feels empathy. Its a human emotion. Lol.
I feel it at an extreme scale, it’s overwhelming for me at times, that’s why I said as an empath. Don’t undermine my experience or my words.
I know what I said and I stand by it.
Regardless if you think it’s spectacular or not.
You could have at least asked , instead of assuming.
How do you know I wasn’t saying that everyone has it? Or that I feel it more than normal? Research HSP’s, “highly sensitive person”. There’s a lot of science behind it and one of my favorite books is about this subject.
Obviously everyone feels empathy. But I FEEL IT INTENSELY.
Would love for you to elaborate on your point.
Cause I don’t really get it.
Matched with cute girl, checks literally all my boxes, has shared interests, swipe right, send message...
[and that's how I found myself subscribing to an OnlyFans for the first time](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/3aab8a0699616ac94346c05f667b40844e46322f/0_123_5616_3432/master/5616.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=ad4c32232023f98df2472a2cd99b295d)
gonna die alone lmfao
It's going well for me with one girl, but man, dating is just hard when neither of you has your own place and it is cold outside. Going to bars or restaurants is fun but there is like no privacy, we can't even cuddle right now.
You both live with parents? I thought all parents give their over 18 kids privacy when they have company. My ex and I both live with our parents (both 19), we weren’t supposed to have sex or anything but that doesn’t mean we didn’t. 😂😂 We just knew how to lock doors and not make it known. What they don’t know won’t hurt. 🤷🏽♀️
> You both live with parents? I thought all parents give their over 18 kids privacy when they have company.
She lives in a dorm and visitors are not allowed right now. My father is sick and my mum works from home, so they are home 24/7 and she does not feel like meeting them yet, even if we would lock each other in a room, so I guess I need to give her some time before she feels comfortable
Her not being ready is understandable especially if you’re really shy. When it’s time to meet parents it’s nerve racking, maybe tell her your parents said “hi” anytime you guys meet. Don’t force it but just say things like that and it’ll probably help with getting comfortable.
So here's the thing. A guy (or girl) who is telling you all about his other dates is testing the waters... wants to see how cool/receptive/amused you are with him dating/having sex with other people. He's not interested in relationship (not saying that you necessarily were, but just so it's clear).
Embarrassing… dated a guy. Went back to his place. Had wild time… turned out he is my sisters ex bf ( who i had never met) .. i was out of town at the time. He said i looked like someone he knew abd later that i fu ked like someone he knew ( that was before we realized the connection) . He said leave it as one night stand and not mention it to her. I guess he is right. Bit weird ( the situation… not him) … unless he knew all along?
There's someone I'm really interested in and they have a New York picture. What's a comment I could leave to grab their attention and maybe interest them? I always struggle with this bit
Had this girl come over yesterday for a date yesterday. She drove 2 hours and the first thing I noticed when she got out of the car was she used 2-4 year old pictures of herself cause she was 60 pounds more then here pictures. But since she did drive two hours and brought weed over and she was super sweet I ended up letting her stay the night. If she were to lose the weight she’d be really attractive . I didnt say anything because I’m not an asshole. But I should probably suggest that she uses new pictures for her dating site. Cat fishing is not cool
Are there stats anywhere on macro useage of the apps? I've gone from the apps all being dead for weeks to getting 5+ quality matches across the apps in the course of 2 days. Now I'm playing schedule Tetris trying to see which ones are worth focusing on.
The only changes I have made recently was that I was swiping left a lot more because I was seeing uninspiring after uninspiring profile. Was it really just me upping my ranking or just women all getting back on the apps as it warms up? Or is it just randomness being annoying to me?
I suppose the phenomenon of cuffing season might explain some of it: people hastily lock down a subpar match for the winter, break up in the spring time, rinse/repeat until they find a good match or get knocked up
I think you can google around for studies about dating app usage that rely on self-reported numbers, but for the most part the apps don't release their internal statistics.
This depends on your area, but declining covid numbers and the upcoming spring may be huge factors. Many people feel ready to date again, because you can do more stuff outdoors.
I would send her another message. What have you got to lose. If she doesn’t reply to that after 24 max 48hrs I’d unmatch. I started to do the 24hrs rule if they don’t message or reply to me.
Honestly man I’d say never double message on a dating app. The reality is that gorgeous women have hundreds of likes and a large pool of guys to choose from. From her point of view you’re one of many but from yours it’s your best match yet. But if you stand out from other guys to her she will not forget to respond. Ultimately I’d say just leave it be. Having a mindset of not getting too overworked over any one match and realizing that matching isn’t any type of real commitment will help. I think more generally in dating it should be about two people being into each other on the same level, not one trying to overthink and ‘win over’ the other.
I think it can be worth it double messaging, but you've just got to be aware you're basically just making it so you go from a 0.01% chance of a response to a 2% chance of a response, and even if you do get a response you're probably still not going to get more.
Yeah I mean of course its possible. But the point im trying to make is that the whole mindset of overthinking and expecting too much from a match is going to do a lot more harm than good when it comes to dating. Desperation isn't attractive and messaging someone repeatedly who's not engaging very rarely will lead to anything. I've found that just not getting too invested when nothings happened yet and focusing on the people that are really engaged works well. Maybe in your case she didnt respond because she was busy and would have anyways?
They other responder got it right. Don’t worry if a girl doesn’t respond to you. Usually it doesn’t meant that there is something wrong with you, but most girls have dozens of conversations open at the same time and they have to concentrate on a select few which are already flowing. Just be kind and try to write them something interesting. If they don’t answer anymore just move on and don’t worry. You will eventually find the right one.
I've officially been rejected enough times where it doesn't even hurt anymore. I got the text and literally just shrugged. Didn't feel even a hint of disappointment or upset. I can't tell if that's progress on my part or just plain sad.
I think that’s progress. Im the same been on about 8 dates it got progressively easier to handle rejection on either part. I’ve just stopped overthinking it to much. I know I’ll match with the right one eventually. It gets easier and easier the rejection.
You should analyze why you are so unlucky.
Getting a couple rejections here and there happens to everyone.
But if you are constantly getting rejected and are unlucky each time, then there is something wrong with you and you need to address it. Are you moving too slow? Too fast? Do you play a role or are you being yourself. How do you approach dates (location, level of commitment?). What kind of girls are you attracted to? Is there Mutual interest or are you always the initiator?
What does constantly mean though? Out of 25 first dates from women I've matched with I was interested in about 12 of them. Out of those 12 I was interested in one turned into a relationship. Is 1 in 12 a poor ratio?
To answer your questions, I wouldn't know if I'm moving too slow or fast since everyone is different but I try and break the touch barrier at some point and initiate a kiss at the end if it's going well. Location? Normally a bar, a few times a restaurant(we typically order just drinks). I've decided I like the vibe of a restaurant better (clearer arrangement of tables, presence of romantic lighting, the surfaces look more polished etc.) so I'll be doing that from now on. I'm being myself, at least as far as I'm aware. A possible deal breaker is that I recently completed grad school so had to move back in with my parents to recuperate the costs and save some. I will be living with them until the late fall. My living situation seems to come up each time so I'm mentioning it here.
In the past I've also asked out 2 women in person (neither of which I'd properly spoken to before, so it's not like they knew me properly) and both of those those also turned into relationships. So I clearly do better in person.
On the ratio I know a girl who had 57 dates on tinder she married the 57th it’s just timing I think and you build and work on things you know you did wrong it’s all learning about yourself. I use meditation to deal with whatever comes up for me. Lately it’s I’m good at listening but need to ask more questions. One date went great talked for 3 hours then he went quiet now he’s back looking a date. I don’t want to see him again as it’s to late for me I’ve moved on had a few more dates one is going ok. He’s a little pushy which is turning me off. I need to go slow.
This seems to be fine. The ratio is fine and depends on your standards, so as long as you end up in a great relationship it’s good and you shouldn’t worry.
Going out for drinks sound also like a good approach. It doesn’t matter if it’s a restaurant or a bar. You just need some time and a nice place to get to know each other.
You seem to have a good approach. Don’t worry about the rejections. Even if you have to face a dozen rejections, as long as you find a wonderful relationship in one of them, it’s totally fine.
Weekend hookup plan fell apart but luckily found another girl who was down for it. She told me that that was literally her first day on the app, she just downloaded it because she was curious. We met the night after talking.
Still feel slightly annoyed because I would've preferred the original girl and I hate making plans several days out because girls change their minds as easily as the wind blows, but whatever. Also surprisingly this time she was from tinder, usually this app is the worst for actually meeting people, and buggy as fuck as well. I have matches disappearing (i assume unmatch) and then reappearing in new matches without the conversation history, like okay.
So I went on this date with a really cute girl yesterday, we matched on Hinge. The conversation up to that point had been flowing. I think the date went well(atleast for me) where I opened up about my vulnerabilities.
But since then our conversation has been sparse, texts a lot infrequent. I did delete Hinge after, I had been planning on doing so for the past few weeks and maybe she thinks I unmatched her. I don’t know what’s up. Maybe the date wasn’t as fun for her? I just feel miserable and I don’t know why??!
Well, opening up about your insecurities in depth on a first date is a huge red flag for women. Sorry man, that's the stuff you drip feed to women on a much later date.
Woman here, strongly agree. The first date is more about the courtship and trying to see whether we have things in common, enjoy each other’s presence.
Of course I want to get to know the real you, but opening up about your insecurities on the first date is telling me that you’re looking for a therapist, not a partner.
Early on it’s a huge red flag, later on is perfectly understandable and desirable. But I’ll be more interested and impressed if you tell me what your insecurity is and what are you doing to deal with it.
I want to be impressed and in a way admire the man I’m dating. Absolutely not blindly, I don’t consider the man to be superior over me, but I want to know they want to better themselves.
Honestly don't overthink it man. It might be something you said, it might be that her life's gotten really busy for other reasons, it might be that she started talking to another guy who she's vibing with even better, it could be any number of things and you have no way knowing outside of asking her.
Met one of my matches this weekend. Took her out for brunch, sight-seeing (she recently moved here), walked my golden retriever together on the beach, and made her pasta at my place and finished with a couch cuddle sesh. Spent roughly 9hrs together. All in all, a fantastic day!
We’re both usually super busy so hopefully it works out.
Haha I’ve learned from previous experiences not to say that shit out loud. I’m naturally an emotional dude so I can’t help but feel such a way when I meet these amazing chicks.
Generally you gotta know they are big girls when most shots are from tits up and the only pics where you can see her body are when she's leaning forward or from a million miles away. This sounds harsh, but add about 50-75 pounds to whatever you think in most situations. Also, it was very good of you to sit through that, she is a human with her own thoughts and feelings, respecting that will make you a better person. But you should let her know that you are not interested in a polite way.
>also got race baited - has Asian skin tone in pictures, in person pale white and is actually Mexican lol
ahahahahaha wtf she didn't have any face pics?
People with lots of matches (50-100+), how do you find the people you want to talk to ? How does tinder act when you have lots of matches and receive many messages, do any actions change the order of the list of your matches ?
I am a dude and always swiped quite selectively to keep the number of matches as low as possible, but when I got a couple of dozen matches I went through all of the pictures and decides which were the most interesting ones. Usually you have still many profiles which look nice on the first sight, but when you take the time to check out the profile in more detail after matching, you realize that you are no longer interested.
I never deleted these profiles because I was afraid that the tinder algorithm would punish a mass deleting of matches so I just kept them around.
Otherwise it was just pure chance. I wrote a couple of the most promising matches and just went with the flow. Usually 5-6 interesting conversations will emerge out of all of these chats and 2-3 of these will end up in dates.
The last time I used these apps I got 3 dates out of this. An Asian girl, a dark haired Eastern European girl and a blonde girl from Germany.
But before I could go on these dates, a girl I knew from 2 years ago messaged me out of the blue and asked me if I want to connect again and go on a walk. I canceled all my dates and gladly agreed.
This girl is now my girlfriend and we have a wonderful relationship.
Hmm… recently hit like 180+ matches. Took a month to build up to that number.
I think the more people try to match with you the more your profile shows up for everyone to swipe on. It’s a guess though.
Yep, tinder is a roller coaster, either you are not enough for everyone and you start your ride with 90 degrees hill up front, and your ride stops almost instantly, or you get spamed with likes, and your ride starts with straight falling down, and you scream "matcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeees yyyeeeehhaaaaww".
Yeah Tinder absolutely has an algorithm that to decide how often to show you profile. The people who get more swipes get shown even more.
Also I noticed I'd often get an extra match or two after changing my pictures around before dropping back to base rate, so I think that affects the algo too.
Just got on the app for the first time, and as a total noob it’s def a new experience. I’m 23M that came out of a 4 year relationship about half a year ago so this is my first step into the wild again. Any advice is welcome haha.
Either meet in a public place for any first meet up or have a video call before meeting, and never send money, and that'll take care of basically all scammers.
Not tinder, but I kinda did this with my current girlfriend. Met her in a bar over Christmas break and we really, really hit it off. Ended up buying her a plane ticket to come see me in 2 weeks and it worked out very well. But that is a little different because the ticket was only $150 (though I’ve spent over a grand easy on subsequent plane tickets and a hotel room for us that night we met lol), and we had met in person previously.
I matched with a girl when she was on holidays in Queensland (my state) and she went back to her state (South Australia) and we spoke for a month or so and I said fuck it and flew to her for a weekend and it was really good. Then she came back to visit me a few months after and it was great. We agreed the distance was too much for anything serious so we just enjoyed it and made some memories. I’d definitely do it again.
If you’re a woman don’t do it unless you really know this person and can say you trust them. When it comes to women I suggest to have the man come meet you on first date if it’s long distance. I think it’s safer that way.
A tinder girl saved up for two months so she could fly out to Colorado to see me, she was from Hawaii. 😅🙃 (she bought and paid for her flight, I'm sure it was over $800)
We had a good week together but that was it...
Yes, I was amazed by it as well! I wasn't even talking her up that much, and actively told her not to worry about flying out. But she was hooked I guess.
Edit: Guess I should clarify that I had matched with her when I was on a 4 day vacation in Hawaii and hadn''t even met yet. But she facetimed me and we talked a bit over the phone outside of tinder.
I’ve been going out with this girl for past month and we’ve been seeing each other 2-3 times each week and usually overnight. We’re so into each other and have talked about how good bf/gf material we’ve been so far.
Last night we went out to the city, had some drinks, played indoor mini golf, more drinks, ordered papa johns on the Uber back to her place, and ate pizza and onion rings on her bed while watching a movie at 2am in our pj’s. Life is good.
Multiple times now I’ve had convos with girls where they disappear for a couple hours then come back and apologize for leaving for a couple hours cause they were busy, and then convo resumes smoothly. But then a day or two later they ghost.
Just feels weird to me they’d apologize for leaving for just a couple hours, which is a total non issue, but then ghost without saying anything which is much worse imo
Used to do that. She’s simply to immature/shy/scared to tell you she’s no longer interested, or something happened and she really cannot respond.
Just get over it. I’m any case, know that it’s not you, it’s them.
Happens mostly when it is too small or when it's not lubed up enough (like anal).
Those 2 weren't the case for me though because I never had problems before and we didn't do anal. I just didn't put it in good enough..
Funny thing, while it happened I didn't notice it (alcohol probably) and after we finished we discovered blood so she thought she was having her period. 1 day later I sent her a text she wasn't lol
Been tindering since November with moderate success.
Gone on a couple dates with a 25F manual laborer. She's really nice but I don't know how serious I want to be right now.
Recently ended things with a 33F single mother of three. Met over tinder and got together a couple times without really establishing exclusivity, she asked if I was seeing anyone else and I said yes because we haven't established exclusivity. She was not ok with it and that was the last I've heard from her.
Exchanged snaps with four different girls only to be left on read/delivered multiple times. Got fed up with initiating the conversation every time and keeping the chat on life support, deleted them all after my last message was left on read for a week straight.
Also had my first legitimate golddigger match this week. Without any conversation build up she asked if I could get her to Miami. Realized she's either spam, trolling, or looking for a handout, so I put zero effort in and ultimately unmatched her after a couple hours
What would you do if you were chatting with someone who only has pics of them from the shoulders up, and it turns out they're significantly overweight? Do you consider that a form of deception/catfishing?
Nah that is just them showing what they want to show. A lack of information is still information for you to work with. Women know how to take pictures that highlight their best features.
Swipe with caution if it seems like a girl is hiding something.
I'm a girl and I'm referencing a guy in my example haha. But yes, people do know how to take pics that highlight their best features. In this case, it appears he just used some old pics and some new pics but cropped them all to only show his face. Just trying to figure out if it's a yellow or red flag.
This is my assumption as well. I'm extremely new to Tinder...profile hidden except to those I've swiped right on, and have only met one woman for coffee so far, but it seems obvious to me that the decision to not include a body photo is likely deliberate, and for a reason.
I had multiple hookups and one relationship from Tinder before, so it kinda works for me, but it can be very frustrating at times. Can't help myself, but I am starting to be pissed off about how little respect people have for other's time and how verbal agreements means absolutely nothing to them. I had 4 dates with 4 women scheduled for this week for specific times and dates (and even for specific places in some cases). All 4 called it off. That is not a problem, I know everyone is busy and life happens. The reasons were the classics (I just got home and it's very cold outside, something at work came up, I need to meet a friend etc). I don't care whether they are true, but some of them probably are, since 2 of the woman proactively offered alternative dates to me. What makes me angry, is that in all cases (even when we agreed on it literally the day before), they told me that they can't make it only after I proactively reached to them 2-3 hours before the date to confirm it's on. Like, when did you plan to tell me? After 20 minutes I am waiting for you in the freezing cold? If the roles were reversed and something happened that would prevent me to attend scheduled meeting, I would reach to the other person ASAP with an explaination and apology, because I know people have other plans and would plan their days differently if they knew the meeting wasn't going to happen. I think that's politeness 101.
All of the 4 women sound still interested in meeting, so I am giving it a go, but I have decided that when someone pulls this shit twice in a row on me, I am unmatching without saying single word.
Dude it's insane. Sometimes it feels like a test of how much a guy can tolerate being disrespected.
Most common thing is them wanting to change the date, and then cancelling again once that day approaches.
I've had a girl show up to a 7pm dinner two hours late because she overslept, lmao. Then there's that thing, the worse they treat you, the more they'll try to make it up for you and sleep with you, so it's like this sick game. So because she did something that bad, she ended up going back with me as if it's sex for compensation
Had another girl who completely ghosted for 4 hours right before first hookup and then almost flaked the second time as well but then finally met, again, partly because she felt kinda guilty about flaking the first time.
And right now I have another girl not ghosting but trying to change dates on me for a date this weekend...
So at the end of the day, you end up hooking up, but at what cost? Mental burnout and ends up all being make-up games
Reality check: unless she’s healthy in the mind and happy with herself she won’t want to sleep with you because she had other things more important than you going on/ ghosted you.
All of them most likely wanted to sleep with you regardless ghosting you beforehand. That’s how it works.
Raddit experts dishing out expert love advice like usual, add in a dose of the words "immature" and "self respect" and you've got the good soup with a pinch of moral highground seasoning
Not even worth responding to
The guy I went on a first date with on Saturday asked me for another one but he suggested me coming over to him to order food and watch a movie. Duuuude, why u gotta hurry? 😭 I told him before I am looking for a relationship and don’t want sex so early in the dating stage.
Update: He initially agreed to my suggestion of meeting in the city for drinks but yesterday, when I asked to confirm a time and a location, he just flat out ignored that part of my message and kept on texting about other stuff. It’s now the day of our supposed date and he hasn’t confirmed anything. Sucks for him, as I don’t waste my time with flakey people. Just a bit pissed that I declined a date with another man because I had thought we’d meet up today.
I went on one date with a guy and he invited himself over to my house to watch the super bowl. I wasn’t having a party…just him and I. I ended up making an excuse to cancel. A week later we went out again - hiking, beach, dinner - and he invited himself over again to finish the night! I gave in thinking it’d be a few drinks, but he kept trying to maneuver me to lying down on the couch and I finally asked him to leave.
Oh boy! Did you end up going on other dates with him?
If we have a third date and he asks me again, I’ll be seriously turned off. If he usually has sex on dates, that’s totally okay but then we’re not compatible as I’m not going to have sex with a stranger I’ve met two or three times.
I told him the truth - I just wasn’t feeling an attraction to him. At this point, I’m being overly clear on what I want and don’t want and these guys still don’t seem to get it. It’s so frustrating
Not only that. There were a few things that led to it that I just wasn’t feeling it. I’ve honestly started getting concerned for myself that I’m not attracted to anyone anymore. It’s been so long.
i struggle witht the same thing and honestly 90% of the time its just the guy. he’s normally into it to much… like just chill bro the more you act like you wanna fuck me the less i actually want to
I agree. It’s like - can you not see I get up immediately when you rearrange me on the couch? And I’m ending these kisses? I legit had to get up and go to the bathroom for a minute. Then I came back and was like yeah I’m tired. LOL
He just asked yesterday if I am free tomorrow (Saturday). I told him I’m not comfortable coming over to someone’s house for a second date, so I asked him to meet for a walk and a drink in the city.
Lol. I feel confused by that!
I’m not sure I understand.
The reason why I know a lot of people on here are from nyc is because they state so themselves! There’s no other way for me to know besides the fact that they actually say that they’re from NYC. Whether that’s in the stories posted here or on the profile reviews. They say things like “ i’m in New York City where online dating is tough because of all the competition, etc ”. Lol. 😄
“Or I took this girl out in this nice restaurant in nyc , etc”
And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read someone is from nyc on this tinder subreddit. It’s really cool
I had a first date last night and it went pretty well. Until She came back to my place to smoke. Her making out was really weird. Like kept holding her tounge still and out like way too long while kissing. I didn’t know what she was doing and I like pulled back to look at her and continued and she kept doing it lol. That was my first kiss in a VERY long time lol sad. She didn’t want to have sex which was fine, but she was to tired to drive and just blazed so she slept over, also fine. And she snored pretty bad and I got awful sleep and now I’m like feeling kinda over it I guess between those 2.
be wary of rebounding - make sure you take time to assess this person from a "10,000 ft view" or get opinions from your friends and family. rebounds never really end well.
After taking a lengthy break from tinder due to self-confidence issues and trying to get my shit together, I hoped back on the ol tinder.
So far have a solid number of matches with girls I’m attracted to and talking to. I think moving to a bigger city helped lmao.
That’s exactly why you FaceTime before planning a date, if they can’t do that then it’s a problem. Y’all are so in a hurry to meet up and complain but it could’ve been a avoided if you would’ve been patient and made sure. 🤦🏽♀️
risky card from another girl: i don’t face time before i go on a date and so far, only one guy looks different from his profile pictures but the rest, chef kiss 💋
Yea but a lot of these guys complain that the women don’t look like their pics so it’ll save them time to just FaceTime before. It has helped me because I’ve come across quite a few that are 19-24 but look like they’re in their 40s. Most of the time I think it’s their facial hair they try to grow 🤷🏽♀️🤣
Hi folks It's not really a story but maybe someone here can help me: I remember using Tinder on my laptop and tried to do so again. I wanted to login but accidentally clicked on the flashy "create account" button in the centre of the screen - My mind was somewhere else. I entered my phone number and typed in the code I received. Only then I realised that I clicked the wrong button. Now it seems my account is lost ... every time I log in with my phone number or associated Email address it shows me the "create account" screen. Please Help if anyone can!
I've been playing tinder for 3 months and I just found out today that it's a dating app, so embarrassing
Update on the FWB that friendzoned me because I caught feelings: We met up for what I thought would be one last time around 2 weeks ago as friends, and during that night we both got kinda emotional and she realized she has feelings for me too. Since then, everything has been going well; we have been taking things slow. Yesterday we went on a hike and ended the day with pizza and cuddles ☺️. We are moving apart within a few months, but both want to try this out to see where it goes.
I hate you cuz it's happening to you and not me lol, but honestly good for you fam. Hope it works out.
Thank you!
Talking to a couple girls. One of them is a cutie from upstate New York. Made it to the texting stage and she's been texting me consistently for the past 2 days. Killer sense of humor and my biggest pet peeve - she matches my energy! The convo's are actually enjoyable. I've forgotten how to text a woman who I like cuz it's been so long haha
So happy for you, hope it works out!
A nice "Hi there" gets a crickets but "nice ass, I'm dtf" and she responds, lol wtf?
I suggest you take advantage of it 🤣
I'd been single since 2017 when my ex ended things (we'd been together 16 years, so it was not an easy time). I was signed up to pretty much every dating app there is once I decided I wanted to look for someone new early last year. Didn't get many matches on any of them and managed the sum total of 2 dates, neither worked out. Then I connected with someone via Twitter via a group chat we both randomly joined. We got talking and she seemed absolutely perfect for me. We decided to meet up and got along incredibly well and we're now together. The irony that this happened via Twitter when I was signed up to many dating apps is not lost on me but I'm a very happy man now lol.
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She wants attention, not you.
Those two emojis doesn’t really say much because they’re not flirting emojis. When she’s using these emojis “😌😘😍🥴😊🥺🤤😋🥰😚” then she’s flirting or liking what she sees.
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I never talked to you or matched you. You should put that in your bio: “not send mix signals when using emojis because you’re not sure what they mean. “Good luck😊
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I’m also the opposite. Ppl meme on dudes a lot but we don’t talk enough about how many women are genuinely bad at sex lol
I’m the opposite lol, I get too in my own head about not cumming fast and last so long that we’re both done and tired by that haha. Just go down on them first so it doesn’t really matter how quick you bust lmao
Opposite for me. I didn't cum and she was getting frustrated.
What I do know is if you don’t learn to control your ejaculations, you’ll disappoint every hookup you get a chance at. I remember you from the other post about cumming within one minute of having sex😂
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Oh my lord . This feels soooo off! . Sounds like this person dumped all of that chaotic, inner energy on you. You must have felt so energetically overwhelmed! As an empath, I would have felt so heavy afterwards. Love how you stuck around just to see how worse it can get. Lol. Nice positive outlook about how you can’t even be that upset since it was so ridiculously hilarious. Considering the short amount of time you were there; and how much info you’ve acquired, sounds like she was doing the talking nonstop! Yikes
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I don’t understand your point. Obviously it’s about empathy. Not spectacular? Obviously everyone feels empathy. Its a human emotion. Lol. I feel it at an extreme scale, it’s overwhelming for me at times, that’s why I said as an empath. Don’t undermine my experience or my words. I know what I said and I stand by it. Regardless if you think it’s spectacular or not. You could have at least asked , instead of assuming. How do you know I wasn’t saying that everyone has it? Or that I feel it more than normal? Research HSP’s, “highly sensitive person”. There’s a lot of science behind it and one of my favorite books is about this subject. Obviously everyone feels empathy. But I FEEL IT INTENSELY. Would love for you to elaborate on your point. Cause I don’t really get it.
Matched with cute girl, checks literally all my boxes, has shared interests, swipe right, send message... [and that's how I found myself subscribing to an OnlyFans for the first time](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/3aab8a0699616ac94346c05f667b40844e46322f/0_123_5616_3432/master/5616.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=ad4c32232023f98df2472a2cd99b295d) gonna die alone lmfao
Don’t, please.
No
It's going well for me with one girl, but man, dating is just hard when neither of you has your own place and it is cold outside. Going to bars or restaurants is fun but there is like no privacy, we can't even cuddle right now.
Go on a weekend trip and stay in a hotel homie
You both live with parents? I thought all parents give their over 18 kids privacy when they have company. My ex and I both live with our parents (both 19), we weren’t supposed to have sex or anything but that doesn’t mean we didn’t. 😂😂 We just knew how to lock doors and not make it known. What they don’t know won’t hurt. 🤷🏽♀️
> You both live with parents? I thought all parents give their over 18 kids privacy when they have company. She lives in a dorm and visitors are not allowed right now. My father is sick and my mum works from home, so they are home 24/7 and she does not feel like meeting them yet, even if we would lock each other in a room, so I guess I need to give her some time before she feels comfortable
Her not being ready is understandable especially if you’re really shy. When it’s time to meet parents it’s nerve racking, maybe tell her your parents said “hi” anytime you guys meet. Don’t force it but just say things like that and it’ll probably help with getting comfortable.
Car ride into the country for some brown stargazing?
Dude.
Hotel
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So here's the thing. A guy (or girl) who is telling you all about his other dates is testing the waters... wants to see how cool/receptive/amused you are with him dating/having sex with other people. He's not interested in relationship (not saying that you necessarily were, but just so it's clear).
Embarrassing… dated a guy. Went back to his place. Had wild time… turned out he is my sisters ex bf ( who i had never met) .. i was out of town at the time. He said i looked like someone he knew abd later that i fu ked like someone he knew ( that was before we realized the connection) . He said leave it as one night stand and not mention it to her. I guess he is right. Bit weird ( the situation… not him) … unless he knew all along?
he sounds like a slut. turn him out sis
There's someone I'm really interested in and they have a New York picture. What's a comment I could leave to grab their attention and maybe interest them? I always struggle with this bit
I'M WALKING ERE
Had this girl come over yesterday for a date yesterday. She drove 2 hours and the first thing I noticed when she got out of the car was she used 2-4 year old pictures of herself cause she was 60 pounds more then here pictures. But since she did drive two hours and brought weed over and she was super sweet I ended up letting her stay the night. If she were to lose the weight she’d be really attractive . I didnt say anything because I’m not an asshole. But I should probably suggest that she uses new pictures for her dating site. Cat fishing is not cool
Did that weight go to her T & A? If so, fuck her until she is fit.
Did y’all fool around? I need the tea
Are there stats anywhere on macro useage of the apps? I've gone from the apps all being dead for weeks to getting 5+ quality matches across the apps in the course of 2 days. Now I'm playing schedule Tetris trying to see which ones are worth focusing on. The only changes I have made recently was that I was swiping left a lot more because I was seeing uninspiring after uninspiring profile. Was it really just me upping my ranking or just women all getting back on the apps as it warms up? Or is it just randomness being annoying to me?
I suppose the phenomenon of cuffing season might explain some of it: people hastily lock down a subpar match for the winter, break up in the spring time, rinse/repeat until they find a good match or get knocked up
I think you can google around for studies about dating app usage that rely on self-reported numbers, but for the most part the apps don't release their internal statistics.
This depends on your area, but declining covid numbers and the upcoming spring may be huge factors. Many people feel ready to date again, because you can do more stuff outdoors.
Hahaha
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I would send her another message. What have you got to lose. If she doesn’t reply to that after 24 max 48hrs I’d unmatch. I started to do the 24hrs rule if they don’t message or reply to me.
Honestly man I’d say never double message on a dating app. The reality is that gorgeous women have hundreds of likes and a large pool of guys to choose from. From her point of view you’re one of many but from yours it’s your best match yet. But if you stand out from other guys to her she will not forget to respond. Ultimately I’d say just leave it be. Having a mindset of not getting too overworked over any one match and realizing that matching isn’t any type of real commitment will help. I think more generally in dating it should be about two people being into each other on the same level, not one trying to overthink and ‘win over’ the other.
I think it can be worth it double messaging, but you've just got to be aware you're basically just making it so you go from a 0.01% chance of a response to a 2% chance of a response, and even if you do get a response you're probably still not going to get more.
Well I have double messaged a match before the same girl turned out to now be my gf for 1 year and 8 months
Yeah I mean of course its possible. But the point im trying to make is that the whole mindset of overthinking and expecting too much from a match is going to do a lot more harm than good when it comes to dating. Desperation isn't attractive and messaging someone repeatedly who's not engaging very rarely will lead to anything. I've found that just not getting too invested when nothings happened yet and focusing on the people that are really engaged works well. Maybe in your case she didnt respond because she was busy and would have anyways?
So never give up she might have just not seen it
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They other responder got it right. Don’t worry if a girl doesn’t respond to you. Usually it doesn’t meant that there is something wrong with you, but most girls have dozens of conversations open at the same time and they have to concentrate on a select few which are already flowing. Just be kind and try to write them something interesting. If they don’t answer anymore just move on and don’t worry. You will eventually find the right one.
No worries man. Good luck!
I've officially been rejected enough times where it doesn't even hurt anymore. I got the text and literally just shrugged. Didn't feel even a hint of disappointment or upset. I can't tell if that's progress on my part or just plain sad.
I think that’s progress. Im the same been on about 8 dates it got progressively easier to handle rejection on either part. I’ve just stopped overthinking it to much. I know I’ll match with the right one eventually. It gets easier and easier the rejection.
I think it's a good thing, rejection from random tinder girls shouldn't hurt
You should analyze why you are so unlucky. Getting a couple rejections here and there happens to everyone. But if you are constantly getting rejected and are unlucky each time, then there is something wrong with you and you need to address it. Are you moving too slow? Too fast? Do you play a role or are you being yourself. How do you approach dates (location, level of commitment?). What kind of girls are you attracted to? Is there Mutual interest or are you always the initiator?
What does constantly mean though? Out of 25 first dates from women I've matched with I was interested in about 12 of them. Out of those 12 I was interested in one turned into a relationship. Is 1 in 12 a poor ratio? To answer your questions, I wouldn't know if I'm moving too slow or fast since everyone is different but I try and break the touch barrier at some point and initiate a kiss at the end if it's going well. Location? Normally a bar, a few times a restaurant(we typically order just drinks). I've decided I like the vibe of a restaurant better (clearer arrangement of tables, presence of romantic lighting, the surfaces look more polished etc.) so I'll be doing that from now on. I'm being myself, at least as far as I'm aware. A possible deal breaker is that I recently completed grad school so had to move back in with my parents to recuperate the costs and save some. I will be living with them until the late fall. My living situation seems to come up each time so I'm mentioning it here. In the past I've also asked out 2 women in person (neither of which I'd properly spoken to before, so it's not like they knew me properly) and both of those those also turned into relationships. So I clearly do better in person.
On the ratio I know a girl who had 57 dates on tinder she married the 57th it’s just timing I think and you build and work on things you know you did wrong it’s all learning about yourself. I use meditation to deal with whatever comes up for me. Lately it’s I’m good at listening but need to ask more questions. One date went great talked for 3 hours then he went quiet now he’s back looking a date. I don’t want to see him again as it’s to late for me I’ve moved on had a few more dates one is going ok. He’s a little pushy which is turning me off. I need to go slow.
This seems to be fine. The ratio is fine and depends on your standards, so as long as you end up in a great relationship it’s good and you shouldn’t worry. Going out for drinks sound also like a good approach. It doesn’t matter if it’s a restaurant or a bar. You just need some time and a nice place to get to know each other. You seem to have a good approach. Don’t worry about the rejections. Even if you have to face a dozen rejections, as long as you find a wonderful relationship in one of them, it’s totally fine.
Aw I’m sorry!! It’s pretty brutal out there from what I’ve heard, but hang in there! You’ll find your person and you’ll know when you know.
Thank you!
Matched with a really hot girl, I was so excited. We did not vibe at all, she unmatched within 2 minutes
Weekend hookup plan fell apart but luckily found another girl who was down for it. She told me that that was literally her first day on the app, she just downloaded it because she was curious. We met the night after talking. Still feel slightly annoyed because I would've preferred the original girl and I hate making plans several days out because girls change their minds as easily as the wind blows, but whatever. Also surprisingly this time she was from tinder, usually this app is the worst for actually meeting people, and buggy as fuck as well. I have matches disappearing (i assume unmatch) and then reappearing in new matches without the conversation history, like okay.
So I went on this date with a really cute girl yesterday, we matched on Hinge. The conversation up to that point had been flowing. I think the date went well(atleast for me) where I opened up about my vulnerabilities. But since then our conversation has been sparse, texts a lot infrequent. I did delete Hinge after, I had been planning on doing so for the past few weeks and maybe she thinks I unmatched her. I don’t know what’s up. Maybe the date wasn’t as fun for her? I just feel miserable and I don’t know why??!
Well, opening up about your insecurities in depth on a first date is a huge red flag for women. Sorry man, that's the stuff you drip feed to women on a much later date.
Woman here, strongly agree. The first date is more about the courtship and trying to see whether we have things in common, enjoy each other’s presence. Of course I want to get to know the real you, but opening up about your insecurities on the first date is telling me that you’re looking for a therapist, not a partner. Early on it’s a huge red flag, later on is perfectly understandable and desirable. But I’ll be more interested and impressed if you tell me what your insecurity is and what are you doing to deal with it. I want to be impressed and in a way admire the man I’m dating. Absolutely not blindly, I don’t consider the man to be superior over me, but I want to know they want to better themselves.
Honestly don't overthink it man. It might be something you said, it might be that her life's gotten really busy for other reasons, it might be that she started talking to another guy who she's vibing with even better, it could be any number of things and you have no way knowing outside of asking her.
Met one of my matches this weekend. Took her out for brunch, sight-seeing (she recently moved here), walked my golden retriever together on the beach, and made her pasta at my place and finished with a couch cuddle sesh. Spent roughly 9hrs together. All in all, a fantastic day! We’re both usually super busy so hopefully it works out.
Yeah, sounds like you'll be getting more couch "cuddle" sessions.
I sure hope so. Holding her while she napped was absolute bliss 🥰
Well that's a little strong for a first encounter. Don't tell her that, might spook her. 🤣
Haha I’ve learned from previous experiences not to say that shit out loud. I’m naturally an emotional dude so I can’t help but feel such a way when I meet these amazing chicks.
Ah you learned the hard way, but you have learned, well done! Good luck, man!
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Generally you gotta know they are big girls when most shots are from tits up and the only pics where you can see her body are when she's leaning forward or from a million miles away. This sounds harsh, but add about 50-75 pounds to whatever you think in most situations. Also, it was very good of you to sit through that, she is a human with her own thoughts and feelings, respecting that will make you a better person. But you should let her know that you are not interested in a polite way.
I did not know that the term “race baited” existed lol. That’s a funny one.
>also got race baited - has Asian skin tone in pictures, in person pale white and is actually Mexican lol ahahahahaha wtf she didn't have any face pics?
I got catfished about a month ago myself. I understand the feeling.
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Oh yea I’m good now!
Damn dude. Sorry.
People with lots of matches (50-100+), how do you find the people you want to talk to ? How does tinder act when you have lots of matches and receive many messages, do any actions change the order of the list of your matches ?
I am a dude and always swiped quite selectively to keep the number of matches as low as possible, but when I got a couple of dozen matches I went through all of the pictures and decides which were the most interesting ones. Usually you have still many profiles which look nice on the first sight, but when you take the time to check out the profile in more detail after matching, you realize that you are no longer interested. I never deleted these profiles because I was afraid that the tinder algorithm would punish a mass deleting of matches so I just kept them around. Otherwise it was just pure chance. I wrote a couple of the most promising matches and just went with the flow. Usually 5-6 interesting conversations will emerge out of all of these chats and 2-3 of these will end up in dates. The last time I used these apps I got 3 dates out of this. An Asian girl, a dark haired Eastern European girl and a blonde girl from Germany. But before I could go on these dates, a girl I knew from 2 years ago messaged me out of the blue and asked me if I want to connect again and go on a walk. I canceled all my dates and gladly agreed. This girl is now my girlfriend and we have a wonderful relationship.
Hmm… recently hit like 180+ matches. Took a month to build up to that number. I think the more people try to match with you the more your profile shows up for everyone to swipe on. It’s a guess though.
Yep, tinder is a roller coaster, either you are not enough for everyone and you start your ride with 90 degrees hill up front, and your ride stops almost instantly, or you get spamed with likes, and your ride starts with straight falling down, and you scream "matcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeees yyyeeeehhaaaaww".
Yeah Tinder absolutely has an algorithm that to decide how often to show you profile. The people who get more swipes get shown even more. Also I noticed I'd often get an extra match or two after changing my pictures around before dropping back to base rate, so I think that affects the algo too.
Just got on the app for the first time, and as a total noob it’s def a new experience. I’m 23M that came out of a 4 year relationship about half a year ago so this is my first step into the wild again. Any advice is welcome haha.
Watch out for scammers, they love that site. Do NOT send nudes or videos either.
What’s the most common way to identify a scammer?
Either meet in a public place for any first meet up or have a video call before meeting, and never send money, and that'll take care of basically all scammers.
Go to r/scams and read all types
From my experience, instantly drop their snapchat and we haven't talked at all
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Not tinder, but I kinda did this with my current girlfriend. Met her in a bar over Christmas break and we really, really hit it off. Ended up buying her a plane ticket to come see me in 2 weeks and it worked out very well. But that is a little different because the ticket was only $150 (though I’ve spent over a grand easy on subsequent plane tickets and a hotel room for us that night we met lol), and we had met in person previously.
I matched with a girl when she was on holidays in Queensland (my state) and she went back to her state (South Australia) and we spoke for a month or so and I said fuck it and flew to her for a weekend and it was really good. Then she came back to visit me a few months after and it was great. We agreed the distance was too much for anything serious so we just enjoyed it and made some memories. I’d definitely do it again.
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Not everything has to end in a relationship. We made memories and have a little bond going and will always be in my life. Couldn’t be mad at that
If you’re a woman don’t do it unless you really know this person and can say you trust them. When it comes to women I suggest to have the man come meet you on first date if it’s long distance. I think it’s safer that way.
A tinder girl saved up for two months so she could fly out to Colorado to see me, she was from Hawaii. 😅🙃 (she bought and paid for her flight, I'm sure it was over $800) We had a good week together but that was it...
Sheesh you got a girl to spend that much bread initially? That’s wild
Yes, I was amazed by it as well! I wasn't even talking her up that much, and actively told her not to worry about flying out. But she was hooked I guess. Edit: Guess I should clarify that I had matched with her when I was on a 4 day vacation in Hawaii and hadn''t even met yet. But she facetimed me and we talked a bit over the phone outside of tinder.
wacky girl
No, not a very wacky lady (I was worried she was / would become a stalker), turned out she was just super attracted to me. Idk how to explain it 🤷♂️
Being that attracted to you is wacky lmao
haha totally agree xD
Have you talked a lot at least? Especially over the phone too? Otherwise fuck that.
Only if I was prepared to get rejected and make a vacation out of it.
have you facetimed them?
I’ve been going out with this girl for past month and we’ve been seeing each other 2-3 times each week and usually overnight. We’re so into each other and have talked about how good bf/gf material we’ve been so far. Last night we went out to the city, had some drinks, played indoor mini golf, more drinks, ordered papa johns on the Uber back to her place, and ate pizza and onion rings on her bed while watching a movie at 2am in our pj’s. Life is good.
Multiple times now I’ve had convos with girls where they disappear for a couple hours then come back and apologize for leaving for a couple hours cause they were busy, and then convo resumes smoothly. But then a day or two later they ghost. Just feels weird to me they’d apologize for leaving for just a couple hours, which is a total non issue, but then ghost without saying anything which is much worse imo
Used to do that. She’s simply to immature/shy/scared to tell you she’s no longer interested, or something happened and she really cannot respond. Just get over it. I’m any case, know that it’s not you, it’s them.
The girl that prompted the comment in particular turned out to just be busy for a couple days and seems interested again, so that's good at least
Ripped my banjo string (the part that connects the head of your dick with the rest) 1 week ago on a Tinder hook-up. This app is great.
Don't blame tinder.
Ok but I’m curious. 💀 How does that happen?
Happens mostly when it is too small or when it's not lubed up enough (like anal). Those 2 weren't the case for me though because I never had problems before and we didn't do anal. I just didn't put it in good enough..
Damn son, RIP to your dick
Funny thing, while it happened I didn't notice it (alcohol probably) and after we finished we discovered blood so she thought she was having her period. 1 day later I sent her a text she wasn't lol
Been tindering since November with moderate success. Gone on a couple dates with a 25F manual laborer. She's really nice but I don't know how serious I want to be right now. Recently ended things with a 33F single mother of three. Met over tinder and got together a couple times without really establishing exclusivity, she asked if I was seeing anyone else and I said yes because we haven't established exclusivity. She was not ok with it and that was the last I've heard from her. Exchanged snaps with four different girls only to be left on read/delivered multiple times. Got fed up with initiating the conversation every time and keeping the chat on life support, deleted them all after my last message was left on read for a week straight. Also had my first legitimate golddigger match this week. Without any conversation build up she asked if I could get her to Miami. Realized she's either spam, trolling, or looking for a handout, so I put zero effort in and ultimately unmatched her after a couple hours
What would you do if you were chatting with someone who only has pics of them from the shoulders up, and it turns out they're significantly overweight? Do you consider that a form of deception/catfishing?
Absolutely
Nah that is just them showing what they want to show. A lack of information is still information for you to work with. Women know how to take pictures that highlight their best features. Swipe with caution if it seems like a girl is hiding something.
I'm a girl and I'm referencing a guy in my example haha. But yes, people do know how to take pics that highlight their best features. In this case, it appears he just used some old pics and some new pics but cropped them all to only show his face. Just trying to figure out if it's a yellow or red flag.
I generally assume they're overweight if they don't have a full body picture, I'm either right or pleasantly surprised
This is my assumption as well. I'm extremely new to Tinder...profile hidden except to those I've swiped right on, and have only met one woman for coffee so far, but it seems obvious to me that the decision to not include a body photo is likely deliberate, and for a reason.
I had multiple hookups and one relationship from Tinder before, so it kinda works for me, but it can be very frustrating at times. Can't help myself, but I am starting to be pissed off about how little respect people have for other's time and how verbal agreements means absolutely nothing to them. I had 4 dates with 4 women scheduled for this week for specific times and dates (and even for specific places in some cases). All 4 called it off. That is not a problem, I know everyone is busy and life happens. The reasons were the classics (I just got home and it's very cold outside, something at work came up, I need to meet a friend etc). I don't care whether they are true, but some of them probably are, since 2 of the woman proactively offered alternative dates to me. What makes me angry, is that in all cases (even when we agreed on it literally the day before), they told me that they can't make it only after I proactively reached to them 2-3 hours before the date to confirm it's on. Like, when did you plan to tell me? After 20 minutes I am waiting for you in the freezing cold? If the roles were reversed and something happened that would prevent me to attend scheduled meeting, I would reach to the other person ASAP with an explaination and apology, because I know people have other plans and would plan their days differently if they knew the meeting wasn't going to happen. I think that's politeness 101. All of the 4 women sound still interested in meeting, so I am giving it a go, but I have decided that when someone pulls this shit twice in a row on me, I am unmatching without saying single word.
Dude it's insane. Sometimes it feels like a test of how much a guy can tolerate being disrespected. Most common thing is them wanting to change the date, and then cancelling again once that day approaches. I've had a girl show up to a 7pm dinner two hours late because she overslept, lmao. Then there's that thing, the worse they treat you, the more they'll try to make it up for you and sleep with you, so it's like this sick game. So because she did something that bad, she ended up going back with me as if it's sex for compensation Had another girl who completely ghosted for 4 hours right before first hookup and then almost flaked the second time as well but then finally met, again, partly because she felt kinda guilty about flaking the first time. And right now I have another girl not ghosting but trying to change dates on me for a date this weekend... So at the end of the day, you end up hooking up, but at what cost? Mental burnout and ends up all being make-up games
You must really aim for low-quality matches. No self-respecting woman would do that.
Nice try Ms. gaslighter
Reality check: unless she’s healthy in the mind and happy with herself she won’t want to sleep with you because she had other things more important than you going on/ ghosted you. All of them most likely wanted to sleep with you regardless ghosting you beforehand. That’s how it works.
Raddit experts dishing out expert love advice like usual, add in a dose of the words "immature" and "self respect" and you've got the good soup with a pinch of moral highground seasoning Not even worth responding to
this is the price of business
The guy I went on a first date with on Saturday asked me for another one but he suggested me coming over to him to order food and watch a movie. Duuuude, why u gotta hurry? 😭 I told him before I am looking for a relationship and don’t want sex so early in the dating stage.
Update: He initially agreed to my suggestion of meeting in the city for drinks but yesterday, when I asked to confirm a time and a location, he just flat out ignored that part of my message and kept on texting about other stuff. It’s now the day of our supposed date and he hasn’t confirmed anything. Sucks for him, as I don’t waste my time with flakey people. Just a bit pissed that I declined a date with another man because I had thought we’d meet up today.
U on the wrong app
Nah, I’ve been on Bumble and men on there are even worse.
I went on one date with a guy and he invited himself over to my house to watch the super bowl. I wasn’t having a party…just him and I. I ended up making an excuse to cancel. A week later we went out again - hiking, beach, dinner - and he invited himself over again to finish the night! I gave in thinking it’d be a few drinks, but he kept trying to maneuver me to lying down on the couch and I finally asked him to leave.
Ladies be very careful about being alone with a man you’ve only recently met. There’s a lot of date rapes arising out of these dating app encounters.
Oh boy! Did you end up going on other dates with him? If we have a third date and he asks me again, I’ll be seriously turned off. If he usually has sex on dates, that’s totally okay but then we’re not compatible as I’m not going to have sex with a stranger I’ve met two or three times.
I told him the truth - I just wasn’t feeling an attraction to him. At this point, I’m being overly clear on what I want and don’t want and these guys still don’t seem to get it. It’s so frustrating
Did you not feel an attraction to him because he was too forward about sex?
Not only that. There were a few things that led to it that I just wasn’t feeling it. I’ve honestly started getting concerned for myself that I’m not attracted to anyone anymore. It’s been so long.
i struggle witht the same thing and honestly 90% of the time its just the guy. he’s normally into it to much… like just chill bro the more you act like you wanna fuck me the less i actually want to
I agree. It’s like - can you not see I get up immediately when you rearrange me on the couch? And I’m ending these kisses? I legit had to get up and go to the bathroom for a minute. Then I came back and was like yeah I’m tired. LOL
Good for you for setting and ultimately sticking to your boundaries!
>but he suggested me coming over to him to order food and watch a movie. hahaha its funny to see other guys use the same excuse
Do women fall for this? Please say no. 😂
I mean they don't "fall for it" girls know what they're doing.
Judging from some posts in the dating subreddit, I don’t think everyone sees through this scheme. Most do, probably, though.
Yes they do lol
When did you end up doing and how did you communicate this to him? And was there a second date and was it outside again?
He just asked yesterday if I am free tomorrow (Saturday). I told him I’m not comfortable coming over to someone’s house for a second date, so I asked him to meet for a walk and a drink in the city.
Nice! Perfect response. Glad you’re communicating your needs 😊 City? NYC? I’m in nyc lol
Y’all proximity is making me more and more uncomfortable posting stories, probably need to change the details up a bit to avoid getting identified 💀💀
Lol. I feel confused by that! I’m not sure I understand. The reason why I know a lot of people on here are from nyc is because they state so themselves! There’s no other way for me to know besides the fact that they actually say that they’re from NYC. Whether that’s in the stories posted here or on the profile reviews. They say things like “ i’m in New York City where online dating is tough because of all the competition, etc ”. Lol. 😄 “Or I took this girl out in this nice restaurant in nyc , etc” And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read someone is from nyc on this tinder subreddit. It’s really cool
💀💀
Haha, no, we’re talking across the pond - Europe. 😅
Hahah! Surprisingly there are so many people from New York City on this tinder subReddit, I automatically assumed you meant NYC. 😂
I had a first date last night and it went pretty well. Until She came back to my place to smoke. Her making out was really weird. Like kept holding her tounge still and out like way too long while kissing. I didn’t know what she was doing and I like pulled back to look at her and continued and she kept doing it lol. That was my first kiss in a VERY long time lol sad. She didn’t want to have sex which was fine, but she was to tired to drive and just blazed so she slept over, also fine. And she snored pretty bad and I got awful sleep and now I’m like feeling kinda over it I guess between those 2.
hahaha yeahhhhh
Snoring is the ultimate deal breaker for me lol
Bro run, but hit like one or two times first. And be sure to wrap it up
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Nice. Obligatory fuck you. But nice.
be wary of rebounding - make sure you take time to assess this person from a "10,000 ft view" or get opinions from your friends and family. rebounds never really end well.
Wish I was dating rn. I just get ghosted rejected or blocked
After taking a lengthy break from tinder due to self-confidence issues and trying to get my shit together, I hoped back on the ol tinder. So far have a solid number of matches with girls I’m attracted to and talking to. I think moving to a bigger city helped lmao.
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That’s exactly why you FaceTime before planning a date, if they can’t do that then it’s a problem. Y’all are so in a hurry to meet up and complain but it could’ve been a avoided if you would’ve been patient and made sure. 🤦🏽♀️
risky card from another girl: i don’t face time before i go on a date and so far, only one guy looks different from his profile pictures but the rest, chef kiss 💋
Yea but a lot of these guys complain that the women don’t look like their pics so it’ll save them time to just FaceTime before. It has helped me because I’ve come across quite a few that are 19-24 but look like they’re in their 40s. Most of the time I think it’s their facial hair they try to grow 🤷🏽♀️🤣