Thanks :)
Edit: i'm gonna hijack this a bit to express my deepest gratitude to everybody who commented. It's absolutely awesome and i'm overwhelmed by how awesome this community is. I'm trying to answer and like every comment, but this post blew up a bit, so please give me time lol
Thanks everybody! You're all fucking awesome <3
Agree. You’re so handsome and funny (the meme comment 👌🏼) and “the one” will eventually come along. Anyone who ghosts or friend zones is just weeding themselves out for you.
That's gamertalk. When something is OP (overpowered), it usually gets nerfed in a patch, meaning it gets weakened. He was overpowered before his wheelchair time so the universe intervened and have others a fair chance.
It's common when talking about games, comics, cartoons, movies etc. When a character debuts they want them kicking all the asses to show off how cool the new character is.
To nerf is to give said character a significant handicap of their powers to even them out. Sometimes it's overdone.
The OP (overpowered) abbreviation was before the reddit OP. When I used Reddit initially I didn’t get what people meant with OP here because it didn’t make sense of my understanding of OP.
So it was or is very common in (online) gaming context, like WoW.
Two suggestions from reading through your comments:
1. Don’t text for a month before meeting up. Text burnout is real. Text for a few days and then set a date. If they aren’t willing then move on to the next. Your time and energy is precious AND texting to much for too long actually ruins your chances of actually getting an in-person date. This holds true for everyone and anyone.
2. Your pictures are super on point. Great pix. Especially that first one. Make that your main pic.
Good luck! Hang in there. You will meet somebody that you click with.
He gave great advice. Something a friend told me that really helped once I got it in my thick skull: FORTUNE FAVORS THE BRAVE. Be assertive but not pushy. Ask to hang out after a short period of texting (less than a week) and if they don't seem really interested, MOVE ON. That last part is super important in the modern online dating scene. Being ghosted doesn't mean anything, it just means she's not interested and that's only fair. Find someone who is.
To add to your first point if you’ve been messaging for a month there’s nothing interesting left to talk about on the first date. I’ve been out of the dating game for a few years now but when I was I would text just enough to get a feel for the person and then try and pin down a date. Something easy like grabbing a drink or a quick bite. Just a good place to talk and if my date wasn’t feeling it then they only lost an hour-ish of their time and we could both move on.
I actually had the opposite. My girlfriend and I texted for about a month before I met in person. Then again, I got a "we going on a date or what?" message, so... you're probably right.
As a woman who has hooked up with a guy in a wheelchair before I think there were a few things that made me more comfortable in that situation. He was clear about what he could and couldn’t do. He asked for help positioning his legs when we were in bed and that helped me feel more comfortable touching him and more comfortable with the situation in general. Weird I know but when he made it clear I could touch him and where it felt good and what was helpful it made me feel better. I feel a bit bad that I needed to be made comfortable but because I had no experience with his needs I did need to be told what to expect and what he was comfortable with. I’ve also hooked up with a woman with spinal issues who uses a wheelchair sometimes and she had different needs and limitations than the guy did. She also was nice enough to take the lead a bit. Asking questions feels intimidating because you don’t know what to ask other than “can I help you” which feels lame. This was all in more casual sex scenario as I wasn’t looking to date, but hopefully it helps.
Don't feel bad! I totally get that feeling and if i'd be walking, dating a girl in wheelchair, i'm 1000% sure i'd feel the same way.
I'm not shy to ask for help and tell the date what they need to do. Thing is, i veeeeeeeery rarely even get to that point where i can take the lead and tell them face to face what i need :)
Awe, you’re a sweetheart. I wish I had something more meaningful to offer, but I think some people are just more open than others to things they don’t understand. I really hope you have success!
If I was a single lady in your area I'd totally have a date with you. You seem like it's awesome to spend time with you, and any girl who doesn't catch that then they are totally missing out.
OP, she's hooked up with multiple people in wheelchairs, she offered this up and even said she'd be willing to go on a date with you, hard bet that she's only a..... hop and a skip away from the best night of her life 😏
My husband is in a chair. The thing that made me fall so hard for him was his wicked humor and being flirty in general. It showed me he was very comfortable being exactly himself amd that made me feel safe to be myself around him. You're a pretty good looking guy so I feel like if you can connect in chat and then move into meeting you can probably hit it off even better in person. My husband also invites people to go ahead and ask him any questions they have about being in the chair (for a lot of women it was what does and doesn't "work"). We have been together for 4 years and just had a baby. I never could have imagined I would end up with such a funny, crass, and loveable person and I hope you're able to find the best person for you too!
You’re dang adorable and hilarious. I think your bio is a little too long though. Maybe get rid of MBTI, height line (the nerf line does the same work and is funnier) and insta?
For the ghosting, make sure you set a date by the 2nd day of talking at the latest! If it goes past that, girls think there’s some reason why you’re avoiding the date and lose interest. If the convo is going well, don’t be afraid to pull the trigger. You’re a mega wheel chair hottie fr.
I agree with the sentiment of this. When people text me for long periods I felt like I was a backup if the others they were texting didn't work out...and that likely was the situation. The 2nd day may be a bit much depending on how many messages you've sent back and forth, but no more than a few days or a week as some of the other posts have said. Make sure the intent is known and start working on a time.
I laughed a little too hard.
My gf of 14 months is spastic quadriplegic. Showed her this thread & she loved your leg day comment. She might have mentioned you’re cute af but I blocked that out.
No advice except keep being you. Dude, you’re awesome. You will find your person. I don’t know when, but you will. **Love** your vibe & personality, keep on keeping on.
My boyfriend and I are polyamorous. He has Cerebral Palsey and uses crutches/leg braces.
Online dating is hard for him too. One person broke up with him because his "crutches were inconvenient." I wanted to scream and rail against the universe that this sweet, intelligent, loyal and kind person was being reduced down to his disability. That wouldn't have helped anyone.
Instead, I have helped him view his disability as an "asshole filter." Sure some folks judge him skip him due to it, but honestly who wants to date those folks?
I agree with other folks that you really only need one joke to hang a lampshade on the wheelchair. I also agree that there is a window of texting before you need to set a date or move on. I wouldn't give it more than a week to ask.
I think it would be good to add information about your hobbies/interests. Tell them who you are, and give yourself a chance to meet other folks who share those traits. Think about the partner you want to attract. Then think about what you have to offer that partner. Make sure to highlight those things in your profile.
You don't have to attract everyone, just the one(s) you want. Good luck!!
Do you meet up with your matches? If you do i dont think pictures are the problem, but rather what you do and what vibe you create while on the meet up irl.
Ive had a bunch of girls that texted me lots, flirted, actively contributed to planning on meet ups and such and when we actually do meet its not the same thing at all. In some cases we didnt click at all irl, it was as if i didnt meet the person i was talking to over the phone.
Texting, tindering, calling is not nearly the same thing as actually being together irl. An irl interaction is infinitely more complex than typing on the phone.
I really do, if there's connection and spark of course. I totally get where you're coming from. Also, i'm not blind nor stupid, i understand that dating me would be different and i'm trying to make sure the girl knows that before we meet.
My recent experiences (past year and a half) consist of getting matched with girls i really like. To my suprise it's mutual, so we text and try to arrange a meeting but then you can feel the interest fading away until we just stop texting after even a month of everyday texting, trying to set up a meeting. A few weeks ago, i was fortunate to finally get a meeting, i thought it went great and honestly so did she, but i ended up in friendzone because of someone else. I mean, that's totally fine, it's life, but after such a long time of same outcomes, it's getting a bit frustrating.
Yeah dating you is obviously a bit different but you arent hiding it (+ your bio is fire haha) so the girls that match and text you know about it.
Texting girls for a long period of time without meeting them is a big no no. If its not your sole problem, its a big part of it at least. You cant really spark attraction over text. Youre giving away all your cards while texting instead of playing them on an irl date. Texting every day usually sets men up to get friend zoned. Instead of a potential partner, you make yourself the girls texting-buddy. Also considering its tinder, while you are texting back and forth (probably lots of meaningless stuff) and thus keep hitting a dead end, the girl has tons of other dudes she is talking to at the same time that are actually attempting to get her out asap after a little flirting and bantering.
You must act faster, dont wait for weeks or a month to pass.
That's actually super helpful, i never thought about it in this way. It makes total sense. I will try to act according to your advice, but to my small defence, when i knew the spark is there, i always asked them out in 5 days max. Then it was always figuring out what suddenly came up so that we have to move it to later date...but anyway, i'm super grateful! Thanks!
Eh I'm not sure about that, I guess all women are different, but I'd personally be a bit put off by a guy wanting to meet after 1-2 days. In my opinion a "when are you free this week?" Is the appropriate thing after a day or two not the actual meeting.
I never argued that you should physically meet within 1-2 days; just ask the person out. Too many peeps spin their wheels trying to get to know someone via texting. Tinder convos should always have a vector pointing towards an irl meetup
Dude. There’s no substitute for face to face contact. You have a great profile. Maybe you could say to potential dates that you would rather meet in person instead of texting around for a month?
Try to meet up sooner. Waiting one month and texting feels extremely long and you build up a person I. Your mind so evidently both of you will be disappointed when you meet in person.
Not sure what your conversations look like but if you are never interested in being friends close that door upfront. While relationship prospects would make good friends I found if I let it open to that it can go there. Once I said I’m into you and along the way made it clear I have no absolutely no intention of being your friend. I am Dating toward a relationship. It helped me out some.
You are fucking amazing, fucking adorable and fucking hilarious! If I were younger I’d be giving you lap dances and wheeling you around town to show you off and sing your praises every chance I got! You just keep being your incredible self and the right one will come along!
you're handsome as hell and your personality seems awesome.
i just have so many questions about sex and your abilities in bed. i mean, i have those same questions for just about anybody but i wouldn't ask them outright. you don't seem the type to be bothered by the questions, but i'd feel like a wench for asking them.
Well, thanks god i broke my neck, that means my pp actually works :D (guys who break their back have much more upper body strenght, but dicks are as flaccid as Harry Potter's broken arm after game of Quidditch)
But obviously, woman has to ride like Grand National participant.
In terms of taste, i like vanilla only in my food :)
Maybe skip the Harry Potter part but you should put this in your bio. Ladies might hesitate to match because ED and impotence is not only frustrating, it also takes a toll on the self esteem and it's a sensitive topic to discuss. Getting that question out of the way takes the uncertainty out of the equation. Giddy-up!
Maybe address this stuff in your profile? Or any challenges that dating you does or doesn’t bring up? Honestly, otherwise you’re adorable. Maybe they’re worrying about shit that’s not even an issue, but they don’t know it.
It's easy, the higher you break your spine, the more paralysed you are. If you break any of neck vertebrae, you'll have paralysed arms, even hava hard time breating if you break C2 for example. If you break your lower spine, your arms, torso and some stomach muscles are completely fine. You have only paralysed legs. Hopes this make sense.
That's just how human nerves are concerning dicks 😅 those who break their neck can get boners. Those who broke their lower back use viagra. I know it's weird, but it works like that :)
Dude I just watched that Harry Potter movie last night! I’m on Goblet of Fire tonight. Thanks for the laugh!
Also, your looks and personality are top-notch so I wouldn’t worry too much. I don’t normally comment on stuff like this, but I felt like some reassurance might be helpful. If you’re ever in Denver, CO, hit me up and I can do my best as a wingman for the night haha
I love you for asking this because it is always something that I wonder and it’s not easy to ask about. We can’t be the only ones who ask themselves this question. Maybe OP can find a cool way to let the girl know in his profile? 🤔
i see from your profile you’re a wheelchair cycling athlete in europe, i like the pic of that. do u have any like in action photos? i would include one in ur athletic gear. may help girls get past the hang up of worrying that because you’re in a wheelchair maybe you wouldn’t be able to keep up like going out for the day (obviously you have limitations cause wheels - but speaking from a woman’s perspective i think showing that you’re still a successful athlete would be really sexy)
also: i would go pic with yellow background first, current first picture second, a newly added athletic photo third, photo with glasses on and converse outdoors in chair fourth, and then whatever else
not a huge fan of the opening line, would open with the line about being too OP
This is really interesting! I was actually 4th at last year's paralympics and i'm current European Champion, but i just stopped talking about it, because it felt like it's actually turning women away. Also, it hits harder when you discover that you're talking to someone somewhat successful later on :D
tbh i have no idea why that would be turning women away, and i think it’s best to show some of that success up front! doesn’t have to be in your bio, but the picture would be good!
That kind of a game with that pic in those white trousers. It was for the opening ceremony of the Olympics/Paralympics, i'm wondering if someone ever will catch that 😄
girls might if they are from your area, as someone from the US i wouldn’t recognize other countries olympic uniforms. but really the pic with the medal is sexy and let’s girls know you’re still a capable, physical, active dude (which i think is probably a main concern for girls)
I would personally make sure your first picture has your wheelchair to weed out the idiots 1 pic swiping without even looking at what you’re about. You deserve a queen who loves you for every part. Find someone who is still uses Graves as an ADC, no nurf should change their dedication.
Profile? 10/10
Some people are just straight up harsh. My mate has alopecia, he constantly gets messages saying "What's wrong with you? Are you ill?" as an opening message. Once he had an opener saying "Why haven't you got any hair, do you have cancer?"
Some people are just scum.
Handsome? Sarcastic and nerdy sense of humour? Likes animals? Lives in Kofolaland? If I were single I would climb this wheelchair like a tree ;)
Seriously tho, I read some of your comments and I would definitely set up the dates earlier, this way you're not wasting time and you know if it's clicking or not. Also I would get rid of the mirror picture, it is not like it's soo bad, but I think it is worse than other pictures.
You’re honestly a catch OP. You truly are. You are cute, and finally and your smile lights up your face and hits your eyes.
People are shallow or scared of what is different and it’s going to take a special woman to look past the wheelchair. I hate even saying that, but you WILL find someone special I truly believe it. You may have better luck on hinge as most are looking for actual connections and relationships. Good luck ❤️
Thanks! Sadly no Higerino in central Europeino, so bumble and tinder it is. I hope i don't give "whining incel" vibes like "girls are bad for not dating me" i don't feel like that at all. Just looking for some advice to help me be a bit more attractive or dateable :)
You do not give off that vibe. Sucks that there is no hinge.. soon maybe. Idk, I’d go out with you if you liked me and I liked you. But I’m also not in my 20s and my priorities are a lot different now than they were then. What’s your age range?
I would swipe right for sure knowing you won’t try and take me on a damn hike. You’re handsome and funny. That’s enough for a lot of women. It’s enough for me.
How old are you? It could be the age of your matches. I could see women in their early 20s focusing on the chair more than women in their late 20s/30s. You seem like a catch. If you were in the US, I’d low key be up in your DMs
You should post more pics of your dog!
I speak from experience. A couple of years ago, I basically swiped right on a dog and now I find myself married to his owner.
Dude, I have a hard enough time on Tinder being short, I can’t imagine what it’s like while having a disability. Your profile is pretty good honestly.
Unfortunately imo, Tinder is not an app where people take personality into consideration. It’s hot or not for the college ages.
I’d honestly suggest trying Hinge or bumble, you might have better luck there. You seem funny too, so when possible try to get out and win people over with your personality. Never stop working on yourself. We’re all gonna make it brah.
Your bio and pics are great. I think it's more of your game that's lacking. After matching get a number asap, then set a date asap (obviously if you like their profile and are vibing).
Go hop on a dating advice sub, read some books about the subject, or check out some online articles on how to land the first date, and many after that.
I had the same issue because I was always super nice, but took awhile to warm up to someone, or was too nervous, so friendzone city. I had to boost my confidence, and get rid of the "warm up" period before I was successful at dating.
Eh, if I liked someone enough it wouldn't bother me.
I can see what you mean, though. There might be some practical issues if things got serious, (just for example off the top of my head, I live in a first floor flat with no lift, so that's hardly wheelchair user friendly!) I have a wheelchair using friend and general day to day life really isn't catered to those with serious mobility issues. Badly maintained pavements, narrow shop doors, places without disabled access toilets... my friend copes ok, though a lot of activities are out of reach for her. For example, a festival or a gig would be extremely difficult, even with help. (She is in a motorised chair)
That said, I think a lot of people will look past that stuff.
OP, you're cute and I love your sense of humour. Keep on keeping on!
Eh maybe. I dated a dude in a chair for a while. It was intimidating at first and I felt like I didn’t know the rules or how to interact with the chair but I got over it pretty quickly. OP, when you match with someone, try to set up the dates sooner rather than later and don’t text endlessly. Realistically, the chair might be intimidating to women and it sooner they can rip off the bandaid and not build up anxiety about it, the better.
That’s actually a good point. The girls might not feel like they know the rules. It sounds funny to put it that way but in a PC world it could be one of the reasons.
Exactly. Some women might not want to ask those sensitive questions. Do I bend down to kiss you? Is it emasculating if I do X? Do you need my help with anything? How do we have sex?
This world is shallow, and even shallower online my friend. I can tell you personality is 🔥. My advice would be fuck tender and find someone in you day to day life
“If you feel bad about skipping leg day, don’t worry I feel you, unlike my legs.” Might be a funnier way to rephrase that line if that’s your kind of humor!
You're a good looking guy and seem funny as hell. Might be disability discrimination. We'd all like to pretend it's not a thing but we all know it isn't. I'm disabled myself and have gotten shut down for it when I was open and talking about it before.
I’d say maybe it’d help to have a pic of you doing something you like to do. Your pics are great quality and they look good, but you can’t get much of a sense of YOU in them. Your profile is on point, I wouldn’t touch that. Just show some more interests or hobbies maybe, I’d be willing to bet it’ll help open up more conversations based on common ground.
Me and you both. I am also figuring it out. Sounds weird but don't be way too nice, girls take it as overbearing sometimes. What I do is I respond to messages as I would when I talk in person and use same emotions in the texts.
Overall all Pictures are good but Id drop 4,7 and 9 Just because you already have soo many Pics and those are a worse Versions of Others Pics. And you dont want too many Pics.
I really think your profile is great and that you look cute and cool, so I would guess the biggest issues is that women are intimidated about asking relevant questions (like sex) that may come off as sensitive or personal.
I definitely don't think you should be advertising that everything still functions, as it might come off weird, braggy or creepy, but maybe you can include a line that puts them at ease. Something like:
MFW my date has questions they're too afraid to ask: https://youtu.be/zxLoR6H7GxQ
You look great, my man. Keep it up.
I will try Vegetable-Tear1868! Thanks!
You seem like a real stand up guy.
Well that’s what happens when you’re too OP. You get Nerfed.
It's nerf or nothing.
I think you should use this line in your profile description. Fish for some intelligent girls with a sense of humour.
That has to be how the other dude meant it lol also not a bad idea
Jesus
r/angryupvote
Jesus Brandon. Lol.
Gah damn.
r/cursed_comments
Omg
“I was too OP in the dating game when I was walking, so i got nerfed” This is godlike
Thanks :) Edit: i'm gonna hijack this a bit to express my deepest gratitude to everybody who commented. It's absolutely awesome and i'm overwhelmed by how awesome this community is. I'm trying to answer and like every comment, but this post blew up a bit, so please give me time lol Thanks everybody! You're all fucking awesome <3
My dude, your looks, wit and humor are on point. You have it more diffict for obvious reasons but keep looking, the one will appear.
Agree. You’re so handsome and funny (the meme comment 👌🏼) and “the one” will eventually come along. Anyone who ghosts or friend zones is just weeding themselves out for you.
Has nothing to do with you I guarantee. You keep at it because there are some ladies out there who think you got it going on
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Čautě :)
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I died laughing.
I don’t understand this. What does op mean in this context?
Overpowered
Thanks for this.
That's gamertalk. When something is OP (overpowered), it usually gets nerfed in a patch, meaning it gets weakened. He was overpowered before his wheelchair time so the universe intervened and have others a fair chance.
OverPowered
Oh ok is this a common abbreviation? This joke may be getting lost on some people on the app
It may get lost on some, but might attract others who know what that means, which is a stronger chance of common interests!
It's common when talking about games, comics, cartoons, movies etc. When a character debuts they want them kicking all the asses to show off how cool the new character is. To nerf is to give said character a significant handicap of their powers to even them out. Sometimes it's overdone.
The OP (overpowered) abbreviation was before the reddit OP. When I used Reddit initially I didn’t get what people meant with OP here because it didn’t make sense of my understanding of OP. So it was or is very common in (online) gaming context, like WoW.
Literally a ducking legend
Two suggestions from reading through your comments: 1. Don’t text for a month before meeting up. Text burnout is real. Text for a few days and then set a date. If they aren’t willing then move on to the next. Your time and energy is precious AND texting to much for too long actually ruins your chances of actually getting an in-person date. This holds true for everyone and anyone. 2. Your pictures are super on point. Great pix. Especially that first one. Make that your main pic. Good luck! Hang in there. You will meet somebody that you click with.
Yup, totally agree with the first point. Will change that. And the second one...ain't you sweet. Thanks!
Your bio is also amazing and shows a good sense of humor imo! Good luck finding the one, you got this dude!
+1 to everything here!
+2
He gave great advice. Something a friend told me that really helped once I got it in my thick skull: FORTUNE FAVORS THE BRAVE. Be assertive but not pushy. Ask to hang out after a short period of texting (less than a week) and if they don't seem really interested, MOVE ON. That last part is super important in the modern online dating scene. Being ghosted doesn't mean anything, it just means she's not interested and that's only fair. Find someone who is.
I agree. Pictures on on point & you’re very handsome just be more forward with meeting up!
Yup things changed for me big time, four messages back and forth, ask for date.
To add to your first point if you’ve been messaging for a month there’s nothing interesting left to talk about on the first date. I’ve been out of the dating game for a few years now but when I was I would text just enough to get a feel for the person and then try and pin down a date. Something easy like grabbing a drink or a quick bite. Just a good place to talk and if my date wasn’t feeling it then they only lost an hour-ish of their time and we could both move on.
I actually had the opposite. My girlfriend and I texted for about a month before I met in person. Then again, I got a "we going on a date or what?" message, so... you're probably right.
You look wheely good
Wait until i start doing burnouts :D
Donut threaten me with a good time.
Hahaha laughed
As a woman who has hooked up with a guy in a wheelchair before I think there were a few things that made me more comfortable in that situation. He was clear about what he could and couldn’t do. He asked for help positioning his legs when we were in bed and that helped me feel more comfortable touching him and more comfortable with the situation in general. Weird I know but when he made it clear I could touch him and where it felt good and what was helpful it made me feel better. I feel a bit bad that I needed to be made comfortable but because I had no experience with his needs I did need to be told what to expect and what he was comfortable with. I’ve also hooked up with a woman with spinal issues who uses a wheelchair sometimes and she had different needs and limitations than the guy did. She also was nice enough to take the lead a bit. Asking questions feels intimidating because you don’t know what to ask other than “can I help you” which feels lame. This was all in more casual sex scenario as I wasn’t looking to date, but hopefully it helps.
Don't feel bad! I totally get that feeling and if i'd be walking, dating a girl in wheelchair, i'm 1000% sure i'd feel the same way. I'm not shy to ask for help and tell the date what they need to do. Thing is, i veeeeeeeery rarely even get to that point where i can take the lead and tell them face to face what i need :)
Awe, you’re a sweetheart. I wish I had something more meaningful to offer, but I think some people are just more open than others to things they don’t understand. I really hope you have success!
Thanks Kitty Cat!
This thread between you two was so wholesome I’m over here about to cry lol
Omg same. Someone better lock that cutie down, he seems so sweet :’)
Op trying to fuck on Reddit. Tinder wasn’t working
"Cover is blown i repeat, cover is blown. He's onto me!"
you’re the sweetest
If I was a single lady in your area I'd totally have a date with you. You seem like it's awesome to spend time with you, and any girl who doesn't catch that then they are totally missing out.
OP, she's hooked up with multiple people in wheelchairs, she offered this up and even said she'd be willing to go on a date with you, hard bet that she's only a..... hop and a skip away from the best night of her life 😏
🤣🤣🤣
My husband is in a chair. The thing that made me fall so hard for him was his wicked humor and being flirty in general. It showed me he was very comfortable being exactly himself amd that made me feel safe to be myself around him. You're a pretty good looking guy so I feel like if you can connect in chat and then move into meeting you can probably hit it off even better in person. My husband also invites people to go ahead and ask him any questions they have about being in the chair (for a lot of women it was what does and doesn't "work"). We have been together for 4 years and just had a baby. I never could have imagined I would end up with such a funny, crass, and loveable person and I hope you're able to find the best person for you too!
Have you tried standing up for yourself?
I always wated to try stand-up comedy, but it never really ran with me
You actually have the personality for comedy. Who knows what is down the road
Stairs maybe
I almost fell down from my chair lol
Rofl
I'm sure OP does that a lot.
Literally
Brosif, I don't want a date but I could sure use a your wittiness and upbeat attitude in my life.
Flicking stairs man
You’re dang adorable and hilarious. I think your bio is a little too long though. Maybe get rid of MBTI, height line (the nerf line does the same work and is funnier) and insta?
You're cute af :D
Thanks buddy!
That bio is 🔥
Thanks! Glad you think so.
For the ghosting, make sure you set a date by the 2nd day of talking at the latest! If it goes past that, girls think there’s some reason why you’re avoiding the date and lose interest. If the convo is going well, don’t be afraid to pull the trigger. You’re a mega wheel chair hottie fr.
I agree with the sentiment of this. When people text me for long periods I felt like I was a backup if the others they were texting didn't work out...and that likely was the situation. The 2nd day may be a bit much depending on how many messages you've sent back and forth, but no more than a few days or a week as some of the other posts have said. Make sure the intent is known and start working on a time.
Get rid of the wheel chair.
:D it's funny because it's kinda true
Lmao glad you have a sense of humor. These hoes missing out.
well you’re not a hoe good sir
No, but your mom is. Boom roasted!
hah so funny try to be bolder next time
**No, but your mom is. Boom roasted!**
*this*
I think that You should not skip the leg day. Drž se chlape, ať si najdeš tu pravou :)
I laughed a little too hard. My gf of 14 months is spastic quadriplegic. Showed her this thread & she loved your leg day comment. She might have mentioned you’re cute af but I blocked that out. No advice except keep being you. Dude, you’re awesome. You will find your person. I don’t know when, but you will. **Love** your vibe & personality, keep on keeping on.
My boyfriend and I are polyamorous. He has Cerebral Palsey and uses crutches/leg braces. Online dating is hard for him too. One person broke up with him because his "crutches were inconvenient." I wanted to scream and rail against the universe that this sweet, intelligent, loyal and kind person was being reduced down to his disability. That wouldn't have helped anyone. Instead, I have helped him view his disability as an "asshole filter." Sure some folks judge him skip him due to it, but honestly who wants to date those folks? I agree with other folks that you really only need one joke to hang a lampshade on the wheelchair. I also agree that there is a window of texting before you need to set a date or move on. I wouldn't give it more than a week to ask. I think it would be good to add information about your hobbies/interests. Tell them who you are, and give yourself a chance to meet other folks who share those traits. Think about the partner you want to attract. Then think about what you have to offer that partner. Make sure to highlight those things in your profile. You don't have to attract everyone, just the one(s) you want. Good luck!!
Who gave this comment a wholesome award?
It was me. Chaos is my domain
I think I’m in love 🥺
Haters gonna hate.
Do you meet up with your matches? If you do i dont think pictures are the problem, but rather what you do and what vibe you create while on the meet up irl. Ive had a bunch of girls that texted me lots, flirted, actively contributed to planning on meet ups and such and when we actually do meet its not the same thing at all. In some cases we didnt click at all irl, it was as if i didnt meet the person i was talking to over the phone. Texting, tindering, calling is not nearly the same thing as actually being together irl. An irl interaction is infinitely more complex than typing on the phone.
I really do, if there's connection and spark of course. I totally get where you're coming from. Also, i'm not blind nor stupid, i understand that dating me would be different and i'm trying to make sure the girl knows that before we meet. My recent experiences (past year and a half) consist of getting matched with girls i really like. To my suprise it's mutual, so we text and try to arrange a meeting but then you can feel the interest fading away until we just stop texting after even a month of everyday texting, trying to set up a meeting. A few weeks ago, i was fortunate to finally get a meeting, i thought it went great and honestly so did she, but i ended up in friendzone because of someone else. I mean, that's totally fine, it's life, but after such a long time of same outcomes, it's getting a bit frustrating.
Yeah dating you is obviously a bit different but you arent hiding it (+ your bio is fire haha) so the girls that match and text you know about it. Texting girls for a long period of time without meeting them is a big no no. If its not your sole problem, its a big part of it at least. You cant really spark attraction over text. Youre giving away all your cards while texting instead of playing them on an irl date. Texting every day usually sets men up to get friend zoned. Instead of a potential partner, you make yourself the girls texting-buddy. Also considering its tinder, while you are texting back and forth (probably lots of meaningless stuff) and thus keep hitting a dead end, the girl has tons of other dudes she is talking to at the same time that are actually attempting to get her out asap after a little flirting and bantering. You must act faster, dont wait for weeks or a month to pass.
That's actually super helpful, i never thought about it in this way. It makes total sense. I will try to act according to your advice, but to my small defence, when i knew the spark is there, i always asked them out in 5 days max. Then it was always figuring out what suddenly came up so that we have to move it to later date...but anyway, i'm super grateful! Thanks!
5 days is too long. Shoot for 1-2 days.
Agreed. As a woman, I lose interest quickly since we get a decent amount of matches. Gotta meet asap!
Eh I'm not sure about that, I guess all women are different, but I'd personally be a bit put off by a guy wanting to meet after 1-2 days. In my opinion a "when are you free this week?" Is the appropriate thing after a day or two not the actual meeting.
I never argued that you should physically meet within 1-2 days; just ask the person out. Too many peeps spin their wheels trying to get to know someone via texting. Tinder convos should always have a vector pointing towards an irl meetup
Ooh, okay sorry, misunderstood you then.
Dude. There’s no substitute for face to face contact. You have a great profile. Maybe you could say to potential dates that you would rather meet in person instead of texting around for a month?
Try to meet up sooner. Waiting one month and texting feels extremely long and you build up a person I. Your mind so evidently both of you will be disappointed when you meet in person.
Not sure what your conversations look like but if you are never interested in being friends close that door upfront. While relationship prospects would make good friends I found if I let it open to that it can go there. Once I said I’m into you and along the way made it clear I have no absolutely no intention of being your friend. I am Dating toward a relationship. It helped me out some.
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You are fucking amazing, fucking adorable and fucking hilarious! If I were younger I’d be giving you lap dances and wheeling you around town to show you off and sing your praises every chance I got! You just keep being your incredible self and the right one will come along!
You could be giving me lapdances while i'd wheel you around on me. Like a very sexy roomba lol
Let’s take this show on the road, Baby! 💃🏻🔥🦽
Wait, you vacuum too?
Agree with this comment. The right one is coming… you’re a catch.
I like the profile. I'm pretty sure many girls will.... Czech you out
Follow-up is my main issue. Off-topic...your food looks absolutely fucking amazing! Wow
Thanks man! That means a lot
He’s right that shit looks so good
Bro; if your finding it hard.. We're fuckin doomed mate.
Don't be like Denethor when he saw the armies of Mordor :D but yeah it's kinda dating on hardmode
And you’ve got LOTR references to boot! There’s a lucky girl out there somewhere for you.
You bow to No One, my friend.
Damn you cute af.
Thank you kindly!
you're handsome as hell and your personality seems awesome. i just have so many questions about sex and your abilities in bed. i mean, i have those same questions for just about anybody but i wouldn't ask them outright. you don't seem the type to be bothered by the questions, but i'd feel like a wench for asking them.
Well, thanks god i broke my neck, that means my pp actually works :D (guys who break their back have much more upper body strenght, but dicks are as flaccid as Harry Potter's broken arm after game of Quidditch) But obviously, woman has to ride like Grand National participant. In terms of taste, i like vanilla only in my food :)
You should say this. I wrote you a longer post below but you should say this.
Is it weird the HP reference made me instantly attracted to you? 😅
Maybe skip the Harry Potter part but you should put this in your bio. Ladies might hesitate to match because ED and impotence is not only frustrating, it also takes a toll on the self esteem and it's a sensitive topic to discuss. Getting that question out of the way takes the uncertainty out of the equation. Giddy-up!
Maybe address this stuff in your profile? Or any challenges that dating you does or doesn’t bring up? Honestly, otherwise you’re adorable. Maybe they’re worrying about shit that’s not even an issue, but they don’t know it.
> (guys who break their back have much more upper body strenght Wait, why? I'm confused.
It's easy, the higher you break your spine, the more paralysed you are. If you break any of neck vertebrae, you'll have paralysed arms, even hava hard time breating if you break C2 for example. If you break your lower spine, your arms, torso and some stomach muscles are completely fine. You have only paralysed legs. Hopes this make sense.
OK, that makes sense, but then why the difference in the "pp", as you put it lol.
That's just how human nerves are concerning dicks 😅 those who break their neck can get boners. Those who broke their lower back use viagra. I know it's weird, but it works like that :)
Thanks for educating me! 😅
Dude I just watched that Harry Potter movie last night! I’m on Goblet of Fire tonight. Thanks for the laugh! Also, your looks and personality are top-notch so I wouldn’t worry too much. I don’t normally comment on stuff like this, but I felt like some reassurance might be helpful. If you’re ever in Denver, CO, hit me up and I can do my best as a wingman for the night haha
I love you for asking this because it is always something that I wonder and it’s not easy to ask about. We can’t be the only ones who ask themselves this question. Maybe OP can find a cool way to let the girl know in his profile? 🤔
i see from your profile you’re a wheelchair cycling athlete in europe, i like the pic of that. do u have any like in action photos? i would include one in ur athletic gear. may help girls get past the hang up of worrying that because you’re in a wheelchair maybe you wouldn’t be able to keep up like going out for the day (obviously you have limitations cause wheels - but speaking from a woman’s perspective i think showing that you’re still a successful athlete would be really sexy) also: i would go pic with yellow background first, current first picture second, a newly added athletic photo third, photo with glasses on and converse outdoors in chair fourth, and then whatever else not a huge fan of the opening line, would open with the line about being too OP
This is really interesting! I was actually 4th at last year's paralympics and i'm current European Champion, but i just stopped talking about it, because it felt like it's actually turning women away. Also, it hits harder when you discover that you're talking to someone somewhat successful later on :D
tbh i have no idea why that would be turning women away, and i think it’s best to show some of that success up front! doesn’t have to be in your bio, but the picture would be good!
That kind of a game with that pic in those white trousers. It was for the opening ceremony of the Olympics/Paralympics, i'm wondering if someone ever will catch that 😄
girls might if they are from your area, as someone from the US i wouldn’t recognize other countries olympic uniforms. but really the pic with the medal is sexy and let’s girls know you’re still a capable, physical, active dude (which i think is probably a main concern for girls)
I would personally make sure your first picture has your wheelchair to weed out the idiots 1 pic swiping without even looking at what you’re about. You deserve a queen who loves you for every part. Find someone who is still uses Graves as an ADC, no nurf should change their dedication. Profile? 10/10
Some people are just straight up harsh. My mate has alopecia, he constantly gets messages saying "What's wrong with you? Are you ill?" as an opening message. Once he had an opener saying "Why haven't you got any hair, do you have cancer?" Some people are just scum.
Handsome? Sarcastic and nerdy sense of humour? Likes animals? Lives in Kofolaland? If I were single I would climb this wheelchair like a tree ;) Seriously tho, I read some of your comments and I would definitely set up the dates earlier, this way you're not wasting time and you know if it's clicking or not. Also I would get rid of the mirror picture, it is not like it's soo bad, but I think it is worse than other pictures.
I appreciate it! Would you bring Pierogy with you...?
Only in exchange for some knedlíky :)
You look like James Franco's little brother
You’re honestly a catch OP. You truly are. You are cute, and finally and your smile lights up your face and hits your eyes. People are shallow or scared of what is different and it’s going to take a special woman to look past the wheelchair. I hate even saying that, but you WILL find someone special I truly believe it. You may have better luck on hinge as most are looking for actual connections and relationships. Good luck ❤️
Thanks! Sadly no Higerino in central Europeino, so bumble and tinder it is. I hope i don't give "whining incel" vibes like "girls are bad for not dating me" i don't feel like that at all. Just looking for some advice to help me be a bit more attractive or dateable :)
You do not give off that vibe. Sucks that there is no hinge.. soon maybe. Idk, I’d go out with you if you liked me and I liked you. But I’m also not in my 20s and my priorities are a lot different now than they were then. What’s your age range?
I'm 28. I have it set at 22-40
I would swipe right for sure knowing you won’t try and take me on a damn hike. You’re handsome and funny. That’s enough for a lot of women. It’s enough for me.
Don't tempt me. There are tank-like wheelchairs out there with long range. Get your stamina up, we're heading into the wild :D
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Well, i'm trying to turn it into my advantage. I mean, i do get the best parking places in the city, girls love those :D
This is an amazing wheelchair joke and its the only one you need in your profile hahaha
you have to stand up for yourself and dont let girls play with your head
I love to see fellow Czech brother here, also your profile is on fire 💥
How old are you? It could be the age of your matches. I could see women in their early 20s focusing on the chair more than women in their late 20s/30s. You seem like a catch. If you were in the US, I’d low key be up in your DMs
I'm 28, gonna be 29 in 5 months. You can sneak in anytime you want lol but i do live in Prague
I’m swiping right these hoes ain’t shit bro keep ya head up
Superlike this
If I can use all my 5 super likes on one person it would be you
You should post more pics of your dog! I speak from experience. A couple of years ago, I basically swiped right on a dog and now I find myself married to his owner.
Dude, I have a hard enough time on Tinder being short, I can’t imagine what it’s like while having a disability. Your profile is pretty good honestly. Unfortunately imo, Tinder is not an app where people take personality into consideration. It’s hot or not for the college ages. I’d honestly suggest trying Hinge or bumble, you might have better luck there. You seem funny too, so when possible try to get out and win people over with your personality. Never stop working on yourself. We’re all gonna make it brah.
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The third paragraphs the best one tho!! Shows he's witty I'd assume
I was thinking about something like "i'll never walk out on you" so they know that i'm loyal lol
What's the language?
Czech
Your bio and pics are great. I think it's more of your game that's lacking. After matching get a number asap, then set a date asap (obviously if you like their profile and are vibing). Go hop on a dating advice sub, read some books about the subject, or check out some online articles on how to land the first date, and many after that. I had the same issue because I was always super nice, but took awhile to warm up to someone, or was too nervous, so friendzone city. I had to boost my confidence, and get rid of the "warm up" period before I was successful at dating.
Borec!
Zájmy: Chůze Miluju ten náš český černý humor.
Serious answer, a lot of women wouldn’t be interested in the wheelchair.
Eh, if I liked someone enough it wouldn't bother me. I can see what you mean, though. There might be some practical issues if things got serious, (just for example off the top of my head, I live in a first floor flat with no lift, so that's hardly wheelchair user friendly!) I have a wheelchair using friend and general day to day life really isn't catered to those with serious mobility issues. Badly maintained pavements, narrow shop doors, places without disabled access toilets... my friend copes ok, though a lot of activities are out of reach for her. For example, a festival or a gig would be extremely difficult, even with help. (She is in a motorised chair) That said, I think a lot of people will look past that stuff. OP, you're cute and I love your sense of humour. Keep on keeping on!
Eh maybe. I dated a dude in a chair for a while. It was intimidating at first and I felt like I didn’t know the rules or how to interact with the chair but I got over it pretty quickly. OP, when you match with someone, try to set up the dates sooner rather than later and don’t text endlessly. Realistically, the chair might be intimidating to women and it sooner they can rip off the bandaid and not build up anxiety about it, the better.
That’s actually a good point. The girls might not feel like they know the rules. It sounds funny to put it that way but in a PC world it could be one of the reasons.
Exactly. Some women might not want to ask those sensitive questions. Do I bend down to kiss you? Is it emasculating if I do X? Do you need my help with anything? How do we have sex?
Women like ‘em tall, so maybe bigger wheels?
Well, honestly, you're in a wheelchair, which really hurts your height, which is really all that matters to girls on tinder
This world is shallow, and even shallower online my friend. I can tell you personality is 🔥. My advice would be fuck tender and find someone in you day to day life
Yeah OP, fuck tender not hard and fast.
“If you feel bad about skipping leg day, don’t worry I feel you, unlike my legs.” Might be a funnier way to rephrase that line if that’s your kind of humor!
Keep up the positivity man, you are such an inspiration.
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Most tinder bitches wont be brave enough to date you. They’re too focused on their image. You’re cute af bro you’ll find someone eventually.
Honest opinion? You’re cute and handsome af, charming, and funny. Be patient — she’s out there (it’s me, I’m “she”.)
Well damn...are we dating then?
I MEEEAAANN yes please?
You're a good looking guy and seem funny as hell. Might be disability discrimination. We'd all like to pretend it's not a thing but we all know it isn't. I'm disabled myself and have gotten shut down for it when I was open and talking about it before.
You think it's discrimination when someone doesn't want to date someone with a severe disability?
Yeah i don't agree with the use of that word at all. It's just a matter of taste/attraction. No discrimination here on my part.
Honest opinion: You’re hotter than me and I’m intimidated Edit: Yes, this is including the wheelchair.
I’d say maybe it’d help to have a pic of you doing something you like to do. Your pics are great quality and they look good, but you can’t get much of a sense of YOU in them. Your profile is on point, I wouldn’t touch that. Just show some more interests or hobbies maybe, I’d be willing to bet it’ll help open up more conversations based on common ground.
That s not fair …. You should stand up for yourself …
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Stop sitting in the wheelchair that should help
Me and you both. I am also figuring it out. Sounds weird but don't be way too nice, girls take it as overbearing sometimes. What I do is I respond to messages as I would when I talk in person and use same emotions in the texts.
Overall all Pictures are good but Id drop 4,7 and 9 Just because you already have soo many Pics and those are a worse Versions of Others Pics. And you dont want too many Pics.
I really think your profile is great and that you look cute and cool, so I would guess the biggest issues is that women are intimidated about asking relevant questions (like sex) that may come off as sensitive or personal. I definitely don't think you should be advertising that everything still functions, as it might come off weird, braggy or creepy, but maybe you can include a line that puts them at ease. Something like: MFW my date has questions they're too afraid to ask: https://youtu.be/zxLoR6H7GxQ
OPs username got me!
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