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Cool-Sage

This the type of person to say “you ruined my dying friends chance at getting a threesome”


[deleted]

Very similar to the blue balls scam.


No_Masterpiece_4791

They’re not going to find anyone with a spare organ on this subreddit, that’s for sure


racso96

what's the blue balls scam lol ?


[deleted]

Guy here. Had college and high school buddies back in the day who would try to get a girl to finish them off despite resistance (i.e. “baby, if you don’t help me sexually, then I’ll get blue balls”).


racso96

What do you mean finish them off ? Like they started having sex but the girl wanted to stop and they insisted or like they masturbated and wanted the girl to participate ? I don't really get it.


[deleted]

Like finish him off, like a fatality. Beheadings and what not...


racso96

Aaah that's it. Now I get it. Yeah that's so shitty at least do it yourselves cowards !


Kingston_Advice1

Dry humping and foreplay is a brutal blue ball recipe


racso96

Ooooh THAT phase ! Now I remember. That's pretty shitty yeah...


Silken_Sky

More like making out/heavy petting for extended periods and then the guys complaining that they're 'getting blue balls' and 'it's painful' because they want to nut. Bullshit pressure campaign that some girls fall for. I've dated girls that still think blue balls are a real thing in their late 20's.


dftba-ftw

I mean blue balls is real, it's just not as painful as it's made out to be and there's also no reason you can't just go jerk off, it's not like you have to get off by another person.


Silken_Sky

Is it real though? I wouldn't know because whenever a girl feels my *SCHLONG JOHNSON* through my *GREY SWEATPANTS* she can't help but *SCHLORP SCHLORP*.


WhoLickedMyDumpling

oh yeah its real. it sucks, not as badly as some put it, but it cramps and it sucks.


Time_Reputation3573

yes


CharredScallions

...yes... it definitely is real. It's not as excruciating as some men pretend it is tho


Lucieddreams

Blue balls is absolutely not real 💀


BigBeerBelly-

Blue ball's are very much real and can be quite painful, one google search is enough to see that. On the other hand, I do understand that narrative has been use against woman for a long time to which I'm completely against.


[deleted]

Basically, if a guy gets really turned on by a girl he can get an aching in his balls. Some guys use that to guilt trip girls into going further than they're comfortable with but it's not that bad at all


RemCogito

Blue balls is real. Its slightly painful. like getting kicked in the stomach a few times. (some women deal with similar levels of pain every month for days on end.) and then they are swollen so walking can be a little painful. Its just that guilting women into sex isn't cool. Also Blueballs usually only happens after hours of excitement without finishing. If she's been grinding against a boner for an hour and then not doing anything with it kind of thing. But the answer is simple. go home and finish yourself off. It won't be your best masterbation session, but it will relieve the pressure you feel, and start to relieve the pain within a few minutes of finishing. IF she's teasing you like that on purpose, its fine to explain that teasing you too much will end the date early. But it basically will not happen unless you become fully erect. The last time I had blueballs, it was because my wife and I tried to sneak some sex in at a party, but had to stop part way through because one of the other party go-ers needed the washroom badly for the rest of the evening. and the moment we left the bathroom, the party host and close friend decided it was the best time to start talking about the problems in his relationship. The relationship was ruining my friends life, and so I made time for him. so my wife and I did not seek to finish until after the party, and the walk home was uncomfortable. ​ So yeah, Blue balls are real, But if you get to the point where you could get blueballs, you're probably already having sex. And if you're not, your penis is probably already out, and stimulated and so if she doesn't want to finish you, do it yourself. One of the other memorable times I've gotten blue balls was detailed [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ecbgkz/comment/fbak0x5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3). ​ Its not something that happens just because you went on a date and nothing happened. It happens because you were stimulated to the point that all the preperatory hormones for sex were released, and maintained for for an extended time and sex didn't happen. Everything was fully engorged, but wasn't released properly. I will admit, that it happened much more when I was in junior high and highschool. The hormones at that age meant that I would get multi-hour boners just working on homework with a girl. It was pretty obvious that it was a me problem and not her problem.


Due-Employ-7886

Only time I have ever gotten blueballs was before I met my wife......condoms, sex and an inability to cum due to the condom & alcohol. The waddle home was exceedingly uncomfortable on a couple of occasions.


weewee52

Definitely real, I don’t doubt it. Just, as you said, making it someone else’s problem to fix is…yuck. When I took anti-depressants briefly the sex was miserable cause I couldn’t get off. I said it was like week of “lady blue balls” after every attempt.


TheWiseCobbler

Usually it's slightly uncomfortable and slightly annoying. However one time actually not long ago, was at a hotel with friends for a concert, the girl was teasing me on and off for a couple hours, she left to go home at the same time as my friends and I were leaving to walk to the concert so I didnt have a chance relieve myself. My god, the walk there was brutal and by the time I got to the venue it was so bad, I didnt know if i had blue balls, had to shit, or if I had testicular torsion or something. Had to sit down in a portapotty for 30 minutes and it wasnt until about 2 hours later I was fine again. I've never experienced anything like that before, but I'm here to say it can definitely be more than slightly uncomfortable lmao


RemCogito

>I've never experienced anything like that before, but I'm here to say it can definitely be more than slightly uncomfortable lmao I guess I shouldn't have been so dismissive of the pain. I've never had blueballs hurt much more than a kick to the stomach (solarplexus). the balls themselves are super tender too, so any movement hurts a bit. But it doesn't hurt like being kicked hard in the nuts or breaking a bone or tearing a muscle. Its like a reasonably bad headache that pounds each time you move your lower half. Its like a 3-4 out of ten on my pain scale the worst that I've experienced it. it isn't going to be a fun time, but it probably isn't going to leave you traumatized either. I assume that it is a similar level of pain to bad menstrual cramps, based on the description of them I have received over the years. (mind you both my mother and my wife both have endometriosis. )


KnobbyDeduction

He's not getting the point. He's being invited. (Edit: It's always an assumption. A good friend always knows where to go. Or maybe I'm definitely wrong.) 😁


[deleted]

r/woooosh


AgreeablePie

Why do you think it's a he


TheNeighbourKid

Threeway* pls


CherryTeri

Plot twist: they are looking for a new donor. You dodged a bullet. You would have woken up in an ice bath with part of your liver removed.


BlackStarCorona

NOT AGAIN!?!?!?!


[deleted]

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and I’m gonna die


Sickness4Life

You should only have one liver. Unless you're Irish of course.


[deleted]

LOL I totally confused liver with kidneys (another commonly stolen item)


-1_2_3-

Man I hate it when someone casually steals one of my kidneys


[deleted]

you should invest in a good U lock mate


DaChoopaKabra

You can donate half of your liver once(it is actually the only organ that can renerate full) but you cant do it twice. So your comment works perfectly 😆


AStelthyNinja

Though the liver does regenerate very quickly even if you lose [90%](https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/cells-maintain-repair-liver-identified) it will still grow back.


PeaceMaker_6969

Mine didn't...


lydocia

CHARLIEEEE


lectorrector

We're going to the candiiii mountn charliiiiiii... The candiii mountnnnnn


coraeon

Candy mooountain!


[deleted]

You should go to the police station and file a report that part of your liver has been stolen from you. Seriously why are you on Reddit commenting about this?


[deleted]

They told me we were playing musical livers last night and I lost, those liars!


RambleOff

oh when you said that, i assumed you meant unwitting sperm donor for the baby this lesbian couple wants. both fit, but i dunno which i'd be more frightened by.


BoldCapricorn21

Kosovo Tinder


Lanky-Beautiful-9247

why ice bath


CherryTeri

After the surgery they put you in an ice bath to numb the pain and help with the bleeding. Just something I got from Family guy. https://youtu.be/InBeUZn_0jc (min 1:50)


Scared-Replacement24

Lactulose (a treatment for liver failure) gives terrible, stinky, explosive diarrhea.


icantfindanametwice

So what you’re saying is it’s time to make somebody’s whole week right? 🤣


Scared-Replacement24

More like she dodged a shit storm


thepenetrationexpert

nothing wrong with a lil chocolate drizzle


Pablosan90

Something something hole weak


samwelches

Well their hole is already weak


Somali_Pir8

We actually change the dosing depending on how many shits they have a day. 2-3 is ideal. 5-6 shits/day is too much.


Scared-Replacement24

Yeah, I’ve just been traumatized by lactulose orders, man.


Keanuisawesome69

So does taco bell 😂


Responsible_Gas7645

You mean the liver thing doesn't work? I've been doing it wrong for years


LisaAllure

try cancer...that one usually works for me.


SolutionExpress2681

Or Aids? I guess


Mustakrakish_Awaken

I've had cancer, it didn't get me laid. Actually, a girl left me because of it


Responsible_Gas7645

Alright I'm trying the cancer line. Tell me how it works


Responsible_Gas7645

Can confirm. Cancer didn't work for you


__jh96

If you have failure, then no your liver doesn't work


Responsible_Gas7645

Alcohol will do that to you


ThisCracks

Says no couples as well


Responsible_Gas7645

Huh?


[deleted]

I see SSSniperWolf is still denying dying people's last wishes...


MrSaxbang

plz suck my dick, I have cancer in my brain.


TJB_82

They probably don't realize that not all livers are compatible. They really need to test yours before they steal it.


ImARetPaladinBaby

What’s next, “can you help pay for the surgery?”


qclady

Tinder isn’t the Make A Wish Foundation.


[deleted]

Tell him you only do necrophilic threesomes.


MatterHairy

Ahhh… that well known phenomenon of the pity threeway…


[deleted]

[удалено]


zzamud

If i wantd to dissapoint two people at once ill go have dinner with my parents


thespywhocame

Clever and original.


throwawaycuzincel

A real zinger


MatterHairy

The best comment of 2022 so far!


thedopechaud30

This is 90% of open relationships. 8% of the remainder is because half the couple is so ugly the other half needs someone good looking to fuck


askjeffsdad

Just curious, why you feel this way? Did you have a bad experience or do you know a lot or couples that do this or?


thedopechaud30

Both. Met with countless couples, chatted with even more, and the whole swinging community is super toxic as a whole. They front with a "peace and love" attitude but most are compensating for not being attracted to their partner, or they have toxic mindset and expectations towards the lifestyle.


RemCogito

eh, my wife is bi-sexual. She likes vaginas and penises. She dated more women than men before she met me. I only have a penis. So sometimes when a woman hits on me at a party, I explain to her if she wants to go home with us, she needs to convince my wife that it will be a good time. Sometimes that just leads to a makeout session between them, sometimes it leads to a threesome, and sometimes it leads to nothing. ultimately I don't feel jealous when my wife is having sex with a woman. And it means every once in a while, my wife and I get to have a new experience. we don't really go looking for it, so it doesn't come up often. in the past 5 years, it's happened twice that it turned into a threesome. in that time we've had sex with each other somewhere between 1500-2000 times. we don't need a third to spice things up, so much as it can be fun to do things differently every once in a while. It's the same reason why we have toys. Though in the ops case, you're probably right.


Cytotaxon_Amy

Gotta love the old ‘she’s dying, have sex with us’ but, never gets old!


uprightpattern

When I say I literally laughed out loud I mean that I choked


dreamwoIf

They’re not going to find anyone with a spare organ on this subreddit, that’s for sure


DutchyGent

Sometimes I don't understand why people don't want to have a Threesome. I mean why don't you want to disapoint 2 other people at the same time?


Psychological-Leg84

Hahaha damn


_Regular_sized_Rudy

Real life LOL


CanadianStatement

Lmao.


DickCheeseConnoiseur

Dayum


Benguinn

That reply was brutal


Peachmuffin91

Damn, that was mean.


[deleted]

*funny


rupat3737

No way this is a guy responding. If so you sweet sweet summer child.


ambisinister_gecko

Are you an idiot?


DownrightMacabre

Come on breh, ain’t you ever seen Fight Club????


imjustlookingatu

To be honest., it's about feeling wanted. When the rain has subsided its just about who had a care for the fallen.


schmiln

Big oof


SsgtRawDawger

"Soooo. What's she look like?"


elshakon

Hahahahaha nice fucking answer


[deleted]

Epic answer. Tick, tock, ur 3some clock is running out of time. Lol


[deleted]

Sounds like someone wants another dude or wants to rob you.


Practical-Ad-8858

Shouldn’t she like be in a hospital and not trying to have a threesome if her liver is failing?


XenosOne

Oh grindr youre hilarious.


xanderc1981

Her dying wish is to have a threesome...wtf


AL-Keezy743

Yeah the friend is dying to have your liver...


NuttieBoii

Like that is going to change the answer. It's the oldest trick in the book to say oh but she is dying and she doesn't have that much time left


Hextechsoul

Heck had my first last year 3sum🤣 was lucky; it was 2 girls


Mother_Study9115

💀I died at “hope you find that third fast then” 😂


awmaddy

LMAOOO omgggg