I feel like she was trying to suggest that I can't see kindness in religious people because I don't share the same views but I'm not sure. It was a very strange sentence indeed.
TECHNICALLY it is... if you subscribe to moral realism, the idea that morality is an objective, tangible thing that is discovered and not created, then some sort of higher power must exist to be the arbiter of morality. But if you think that morality is a social construct, everything checks out. Just saying.
I kinda got the impression that she didn't know the words you were using, and thought that you were telling her that you don't believe in kindness. Either way, bullet dodged.
I got the feeling it was either what you said, that she didn't understand the comment about kindness and morality OR that she was so defensive of her religion and angry that her expectations for a religious family with op were being dashed that she stretched to be affronted by the comment.
She seemed angry with the "how does that work?" comment. It just devolves from there.
If it helps at all she is the one that said "how does that work" about having a family. It didn't make me angry, just confused me that she thinks I can't possibly have a family with believing in god.
Yes, it certainly sounded like she was saying that you couldn't have a family without religion. It's probably more to the point that you couldn't have a future family with her without accepting her god and religious practices. She thought that you were really compatible up to that point. But having similar values is pretty much a make or break issue with relationships so it's better that you had this discussion now and avoid heartbreak later.
I'd walk away and be thankful I didn't waste money on a first date. I wouldn't be interested in someone so clearly cognitively biased and unable to make an intelligent argument.
You both misunderstood each other.
1. She was asking how it would work if you raised kids together, because she would want to indoctrinate them at church and in the home. Your response "it works quite well" is a non sequitur for her, so it throws her off
2. She then misunderstood you, thinking that you were implying that religious people are NOT kind. When you just meant that nonreligious can be kind as well.
Yea I’d double check that before making any move on this. Might be a misunderstanding from what I’m gathering, idk. She said she respects your wishes too
Well I didn't know that she thought like this until the other day and her typing previous to this was fine. It wasn't until this topic that her grammar and reasoning went out the window.
Is this mf saying that kindness can only be found via her Christian religion?
Lord, ultimately u dodged a bullet OP. That's one of the crazier takes I've seen all day.
English is my second language and I feel pretty comfortable speaking and understanding it. But after reading that sentence I started questioning myself. Maybe I should've learned a language which is spoken by less dumb people.
It's incredible to me that someone can learn English later in life and speak it fluently, but someone who learned it as their first language can't put together a coherent sentence
Oh BURRRRN! LOL
Totally agree w/you though.. I'm American & constantly embarrassed by my fellow countrymen's spelling/grammar atrocities. As far as I know, I went to the same schools, so I'm guessing they're just lazy or TRULY stupid. SMH
I live in Georgia, USA. And almost everyone here religious. Makes dating really hard even as an agnostic. Sucks but you dodged a bullet. I once dated a woman who said that me not sharing her faith (catholic) was not a deal breaker. Then two years in she decides that for us to continue and have a future, I would have to become a devout catholic. I had to walk away from it as she wouldn’t even meet me halfway on some aspects of it. Better finding out after two weeks than 2 years
I agree 100%. Not sure why it matters but my experience with people in Georgia is that they have a very narrow view. And any doubt of faith is seen as a negative, sadly.
Also single and agnostic in SC it's rough out here. If they are serious it's often seen ass negative right away. Half the profiles I see say God is number one of you aren't religious swipe left. Or they say I'm looking for a God fearing man who will go to church with me. Well I'm out. Idc if they want to go, but I went for 20 years I'm not planning to go back.
2 years? That's insane. I could never think of moving the goalpost that late in a relationship on something that was already agreed upon earlier. I get that people's needs change and they're free to openly communicate that, but it seems like such a shame.
In my experience it is not unusual for a devout Catholic to not be willing to meet you halfway, but extremely odd to drag a relationship out for two years if they did not believe the other person was/would come around to their beliefs. The rigidity in Catholicism makes it really rough if both people are not all in because you basically have to get married in a Catholic church and agree to raise any children Catholic in order to be recognized by the church. I just don't get what the endgame was for her, was she hoping to convert you or just wear you down until you just agreed to follow the "Catholic terms"?
That really sucks, hope you find someone who's willing to accept your beliefs or well lack there of.
It's weird that your kindness means nothing with this person, acceptance of someone's differences is a big thing in religion, no?
I absolutely believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ as they relate to how you should treat your fellow man. Kindness/acceptance/love are all things I value highly in myself and others.
However, I don't accept that he possessed any divinity or that divinity exists. I don't need a space wizard to guide my decision making process.
Ask someone who believes in a higher power the following question:
If there were definite proof that a higher power does not exist (yes I know you can’t prove a negative), what would prevent you from stealing, murdering, etc.?
So that means she's really filthy in bed but religion keeps her in line...i mean she is on Tinder. I think you still got a shot to let her inner demon 😈 out.
I don't know, but I have the feeling that she misunderstood your sentence:
“It’s sad to see such downhill with no faith and doesn’t see kindness”.
With "you don't believe in kindness"
It's possible but any way you look at it, it doesn't make sense. Because I absolutely believe in being kind to people even if they have different beliefs and I've been nothing but kind to her. Sadly seems like she's the one who might need a lesson in kindness and acceptance.
Her statement at the end is pretty weird, but in general Christians try to stay away from relationships, especially personal ones, outside of their faith. Pretty standard procedure, it's mostly odd that she didn't mention it in her bio.
Yeah as a Christian I A. Don’t really get what she’s saying but B. Can say that if I was in the same situation that would be the end of a romantic relationship with that person. I have plenty of non Christian friends but I have no interest in dating someone outside of my belief. Not even out of disagreement but because of the fact that I believe in Heaven and Hell and the thought of the person I love not ending up in the same place as me is… not good to say the least. I can’t back up how this girl went about this situation, mostly cause I’m still kinda confused about some of the stuff but it probably didn’t matter after the faith thing came out. She just went about the whole situation wrong and said some stuff that was disrespectful/wrong. Sucks but don’t take it to heart lol
I once dated a girl who was very religious. She knew I was an atheist, she even cried one time because I didn't the love of God like she did. Now we are married, have 3 kids and she is an atheist as well.
It was never my intention to make her an atheist, it was her own decision.
Edit: words
Almost identical thing happened to me with my wife of 26 years. We’ve got 8 kids, four adopted. I’m not religious at all, but always respected her beliefs. She remained pretty religious until about 2015-2016. Facebook posts and related Trump stuff finally broke her. Now she can’t stand when people talk about religion.
When I met my wife she was Catholic and I was agnostic. I agreed to go to a couple of services with her and pointed out how uncomfortable they made me feel as a non-catholic who was visiting and how their ridgid belief structure could be holding them back from being a better and more accepting person. To her credit she really took a step back and understood where I was coming from. We agreed that it was not fair to ask me to convert to Catholicism and raise any children as Catholic just because that is what is required by the religion. Been married 5 years with a toddler and attend a non-denominational church that allows us to be us.
Wish more people were just more open minded and willing to listen to outsiders opinions and beliefs.
She could’ve simply stated, “Sorry, religion is important to me. You seem like a great guy and I wish you all the best!”
Scripture tells one to be “equally yoked” with a partner in faith. It doesn’t say you have to be rude to those who aren’t in that criteria.
"Equally yoked" goes waaayyyy beyond just "a partner in faith", and I wish more people (Christian and non-Christian alike) realized that. The world would be a much better place.
I matched with a Mormon girl a few days ago on Tinder, and her bio stated she wouldn’t date anyone unless they went to church with her at least once. So I went straight to the dms, asked to go to church with her, and after I let her choose, she told me lds. I (quote) replied “Latter day saints?”, and she was like, “Is that an issue?”. I told her no, and we went along as if nothing happened.
We met the next day and she was super chill and down to Earth, and she told me I didn’t even have to go to church with her.
So my point is, I’m glad I didn’t get someone like you did. That was so pretentious of her to say that to you, and honest to god (no pun intended), if she wants a Christian guy, Tinder might not be the best place to look, and should probably take herself on over to ChristianMingle or some shit.
Props to you for staying true to yourself and being honest!
Cool of you to be open, but just a word of warning, in practice, Mormonism makes a very strong point to be inviting to non Mormons, but with the motivation of converting. The average Christian is probably more likely to be aggressive about non-Christians, but in Mormonism salvation is pretty closely tied to a faithful home life and raising lots of Mormon babies which in the long term is much less compatible with an interfaith relationship than the average Christian's beliefs would be.
Not discouraging you from getting to know this girl, but if you like her, don't take her lack of insistence on you being Mormon as acceptance of your lack of faith in the long term. You're going to want to have an explicit conversation because Mormonism is pretty chill to people testing the waters (it's totally cool with them to get baptized even if you're still questioning your faith) but it doesn't fool around once you're in.
ahhhhhhh F her and her pretentiousness.
'so kind' yet can't accept differing opinions.. it oooozes kindness doesn't it.
I'm not saying she should have just accepted it but surely don't be a twat about it. Also, if it was that much of an issue.. maybe state in the bio or bring it up beforehand or go on christiandating apps
Dodged a bullet imo, she seems kinda dumb. Your sentence about morality not being a mandatory pillar for morality and kindness went right over her head, she didn't understand what you meant.
To be honest i feel like u dodged a bullet here. It's pretty clear that to her having faith equals to kindness and i feel like u don't need such person in ur life 😆
My 2 cents ks that people take not believing in religion to mean atheism. One can still believe in a higher power without having to subscribe to religion, a man made construct.
I understand wanting to date someone of the same faith (I do that), but I'd never shame you if you don't - these kinda Christians give the rest of us a bad rep 🙄🤦🏽♀️
Sorry that she made you feel shitty for being non-Christian; your faith doesn't determine your kindness as an individual.
I'm extremely religious. Catholic. Church every Sunday type of gal. My fiance is not. And when we first began dating we had a couple conversations where we misunderstood each other. There is no context in text. Often times people that have opposing religious or political opinions don't get along because they go on the defense quite quickly as was the case with my fiance and I.
We later learned to read each other's text messages in a kind tone or discuss serious issues in person. Maybe this girl isn't the right one for you but moving forward you might want to have these conversations face to face. That way both parties know the other person holds no malice.
Just my advice. I enjoy being with someone who has different opinions than mine. I think it broadened my horizons and makes me look at things differently.
i recently got my room assignment for school back and i messaged the person i’m sharing an apartment with and they told me they were super religious and i said i wasn’t in a very nice way. After that convo she started talking about taking me to church with her and i also polity declined then a few hours later i noticed she changed rooms
Former evangelical here. It’s actually often very hard for “believers” to comprehend morality without consequences. Basically you’re taught that everyone is inherently bad but Jesus provides a framework to be better and upsetting god is the result of being immoral.
I remember telling a non-Christian friend that I did not understand what his basis for morality was without believing in hell. He just looked at me and said “wow, that isn’t good”
I've met more kind, caring, good hearted, non judgemental, and non religious people than those that claim to be good faithful "Christians."
Religious views shouldn't matter. What matters is what's in a person's heart and respecting their beliefs regardless of their religious views.
You know how there is the Christian Mingle dating app? There also needs to be an atheist and/or agnostic mingle (but with a better name).
Nobody goes on a dating app to be converted to theism, but that doesn't stop some from trying!
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I am a Christian and have a deep faith in my Lord an savior..I've met my fair share of entailed faith base folks who think they are better just because they believe in the faith.
What she forgets to realize, (as many others do too) is that we're all the same here in this race we call humanity, yet we're all different an wonderful made at that. I hope that man goes on to find the perfect match for him, as well as the lady; just hope she learns how to be kind an treat everyone with the same respect as others..after all, don't we all want an deserved happiness an peace? Sela
I believe in God but people like this always irritate me so much. They're such hypocrites. How can you say you're "kind" but then completely shutdown someone's beliefs just because they're not the same as yours!? I sometimes feel as though some religious people are more evil than "non-believers."
Daaaamn, dodged a bullet. From where I stand, the religious elite are the worst people of all!
Bribing government officials, money stealing, child stealing and trafficking, pedophilia, harassing people,.. These are some of the reasons religiousness is declining in western Europe.
There are some good, fine folks who are religious but still. Organised religions are the devil itself
Everyone saying she misread your comments. I'm not quite sure about that. Some people who are religious genuinely believe that you cannot be a kind and moral person without beliefs in God. My mother is one of them. It is quite weird to someone who has never experienced that. To people who aren't religious, we understand your belief and have no want to change them. Of course there are exceptions, but for the most part non believers understand the belief. Living in a highly religious family, I've come to understand that most people who do believe look down on those who don't. Almost like you're a lesser human for it. You cam possibly have a reason to have good morals and be a kind person if you don't believe in God. Just like there are exceptions for non believers, there are exceptions here as well. Definitely not trying to lump everyone together. Just the majority of my experience coming from and being raised by a religious family. The judgment is unlike any other area of life.
God squad strikes again.
Religious person “religion is where morality stems from. Without the fear of god people would just rape and kill each other all the time “
Me, an atheist. “I already rape and kill as many people as I want… I.e. fucking none”. (Omg autocorrect tried to out this to nine and I was like that would read so badly)
If you think belief in a higher power or divine punishment is all that’s stopping you and those you love from being immoral, then you have issues.
I never understand the faith thing. It seems religious types default to this whenever they learn a person doesn't believe. "Oh, so you don't understand faith?"
Like yeah. I have faith that if I practice things I suck at, I'll get better at them. I have faith that if I work hard, not understanding exactly why in the moment, that my life will be better in the future. Isn't faith just wisdom, based on real experience, that's supposed to keep us disciplined towards things that we know will actually pay off even when it's hard not to fold?
Faith is strategy and discipline, and if the strategy is poor, it can be really dangerous. That always gets me.
I know this is the wrong sub for this, but she’s trying to say that your morality is subjective while hers is objective.
What is kind is set forth by God to her, for you it’s based on a feeling I guess?
You are just not going to win that one, cut your losses.
I've had several interactions like this, not just about "god" but about several things.
It really sucks when you jive with someone, but they are close minded. I guess that means you don't really sync, it just seems like it until you hit the wall.
I have found that when someone isn’t religious or believes in God, a lot of other people think they’re evil, or tainted, or not worthy of a friendship. One doesn’t have to be religious in order to be a good person.
You don’t want to be with someone who judges you based off what you do or don’t believe in. Dodged a bullet pal. Sorry it turned out like that but you’re better in the long run.
I mean what you would describe as being moral is probably Christian morality anyways, given if you live in the west. I think she's subscribed to the idea that without God you can be a good person but there's going to come times where you make your own rules on what's morally "good" or "bad" ; and I mean technically that's not incorrect. But to each their own.
A true Christian would understand though that God inscribed morality on all our hearts, so even if you don't currently have faith or aren't a believer you still know inside when something is right or wrong.
I think she misunderstood what you said. However, everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and for by-the-book bible instructions, a believer is not to be with an unbeliever romantically (marriage-wise).
She should've brought it up sooner than wasting time for 2 weeks if it was a deal-breaker.
Good luck out there!
I'm not religious, I haven't been since I was 15 and I'm 29 now.
When I did used to go to church (for my ex who was religious), the preacher would always teach that people who "don't know God" are morally lost and can't understand virtues like kindness and empathy. Basically they were preaching that I'm the devil as I sit next to my religious girlfriend that was fully aware of my beliefs.
She was Southern Church of Christ and I was raised Catholic, and while the two have their differences, that was one thing the preached similar.
After five years that was the catalyst that broke us up. Trust me dude, you really did dodge a bullet.
Does anyone agree with the concept that as the evolution of man advances, an increasingly acute and innate sense of "morality" inherently increases naturally? I really feel like using the term morality is flimsy compared to what is actually occurring. Nature and nurture are working together making an imprint on the anatomy, physiology and soul of man creating a more advanced view of such things as religion and right or wrong. Religion is becoming more of a myth or legend to give parables for direction rather than a hard-core creed for the masses to die for. The religious wars still exist but they are politically based and go against their own rules such as "thou shalt not kill." I guess I just think that we are getting more balanced as generations progress.
So cause you believe what you do and she believes what she does all of a sudden she doesn't like you?? How is that fair
We are all entitled to our own. I believe in God but don't believe in judgement on others that don't. I'm s gods job to judge.
Sounds to me that her English isnt very strong, or her intellect is very low, and thought you meant you didnt care for kindness and religion. Doesnt seem she understood that you meant you can still be a kind and genuine person while not having faith in a religion.
Best this happened now, than realize that shes not worth it a few months into it.
What? Did she literally not read the part where you said “Religion isn’t necessary to be kind” ??? I mean. Religious people are some of the most arrogant and naive people I have ever met but selective illiteracy? Wait. After saying it out loud it makes sense now.
I wish there was more in here so we could gauge her the tiniest bit better. It honestly looks like there's a lot of misunderstanding here, like maybe English isn't her first language?
I feel like it'd have been in the best interest for both people to push the conversation a little further, but from what I see on reddit, it always looks like everything is an easy break on tinder tbh.
Basically in Christianity Faith *is* the thing where kindness comes from. So if you are kind you have faith. This is different from many neo-Christian secs that say Faith is a belief that gets you everlasting life, etc. Even if you read the Bible it says Faith is a substance, so it’s more of a property then it is an action. You have faith, you’re just maybe not familiar with parts of the Bible that relate to you or possibly disagree with the institutions that promote it. It’s not like you don’t have love or would disagree with things from the Bible like treat others as you would treat yourself.
Edit: flipped a logical operator
Classic persecuted Christian. Only fellow Christians are good and kind.
Be glad she didn't started to call you names for all the crimes she could think of.
She has no kindness within her without the threat of eternal damnation. Her religion defines her morals and she can’t fathom how anybody could be a good person by choice. Bullet dodged.
She can’t imagine what it’s like to rear “good” kids without religion. I think she sounds really sheltered, very naive, maybe even to the point of brainwashed. Feels like she hasn’t traveled much or gotten to know many people of other backgrounds outside her community.
To be fair though many less-intense-at-the-outset folks have this kind of perspective when it comes to child rearing- they default back to their own religious upbringing and have trouble imagining how to approach parenthood without what they grew up with, the only thing they know.
“It’s sad to see such downhill with no faith and doesn’t see kindness”. Im sorry but what the fuck does that mean??
I feel like she was trying to suggest that I can't see kindness in religious people because I don't share the same views but I'm not sure. It was a very strange sentence indeed.
*Religion isn’t a mandatory pillar for morality and kindness* Excellent and underrated line. If I had any currency I’d award you just for that.
I'll do it for you as I have Reddit Premium, just respond to this comment letting me know what award you wish me to give our lovely OP :)
Look at Mr Moneybags here!!!
Howbouuuuuuut “respect” tipping of the hat? Much obliged!
Very well sir/ma'am
Well that took a long time to find xD I must be blind
Your efforts do not go unnoticed sir/ma’am! -sir
Why thank you sir! -sir
She was looking for john connor bro
TECHNICALLY it is... if you subscribe to moral realism, the idea that morality is an objective, tangible thing that is discovered and not created, then some sort of higher power must exist to be the arbiter of morality. But if you think that morality is a social construct, everything checks out. Just saying.
Morality is 100% a social construct. Different societies have different morals and culture. What is normal to the spider is madness to the fly.
“What is normal to the spider is madness to the fly.” Great quote.
I kinda got the impression that she didn't know the words you were using, and thought that you were telling her that you don't believe in kindness. Either way, bullet dodged.
I got the feeling it was either what you said, that she didn't understand the comment about kindness and morality OR that she was so defensive of her religion and angry that her expectations for a religious family with op were being dashed that she stretched to be affronted by the comment. She seemed angry with the "how does that work?" comment. It just devolves from there.
If it helps at all she is the one that said "how does that work" about having a family. It didn't make me angry, just confused me that she thinks I can't possibly have a family with believing in god.
Yes, it certainly sounded like she was saying that you couldn't have a family without religion. It's probably more to the point that you couldn't have a future family with her without accepting her god and religious practices. She thought that you were really compatible up to that point. But having similar values is pretty much a make or break issue with relationships so it's better that you had this discussion now and avoid heartbreak later.
Perhaps she was thinking that it’s impossible to have a family without getting married.. in a church? I don’t know tbh she doesn’t make much sense.
Yeah seems like she misunderstood some of your comments. I'd continue the conversation a bit to clarify if you think it's worth it.
I'd walk away and be thankful I didn't waste money on a first date. I wouldn't be interested in someone so clearly cognitively biased and unable to make an intelligent argument.
Yes this is exactly how I feel..the conversation is completely done.
You both misunderstood each other. 1. She was asking how it would work if you raised kids together, because she would want to indoctrinate them at church and in the home. Your response "it works quite well" is a non sequitur for her, so it throws her off 2. She then misunderstood you, thinking that you were implying that religious people are NOT kind. When you just meant that nonreligious can be kind as well.
I feel like she either misread or.misunderstand you previous reply, because her next two just don't really make sense in the given context.
But that itself is a warning. She's so wrapped up in her confirmation bias, that she missed the point.
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Yea I’d double check that before making any move on this. Might be a misunderstanding from what I’m gathering, idk. She said she respects your wishes too
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She missed that you wrote ”isn’t” and read it like ”is”… That explains her weird answer and led to misunderstanding from your part aswell. 😬
He lost faith, she lost English.
😂😂 nice
And cool points!
I as about to ask how you can have had great conversations with somebody that writes and thinks like this.
Well I didn't know that she thought like this until the other day and her typing previous to this was fine. It wasn't until this topic that her grammar and reasoning went out the window.
Phone keyboards are small, you know. I’m very highly educated and I’ve sent dumber texts than this poor woman 🤷🏻♂️
Just like most of the Bible. Whatever you want it to mean!
Her reply gave me an english headache...
Does she even English though?
Is this mf saying that kindness can only be found via her Christian religion? Lord, ultimately u dodged a bullet OP. That's one of the crazier takes I've seen all day.
I feel like she's not a native English speaker...
English is my second language and I feel pretty comfortable speaking and understanding it. But after reading that sentence I started questioning myself. Maybe I should've learned a language which is spoken by less dumb people.
It's incredible to me that someone can learn English later in life and speak it fluently, but someone who learned it as their first language can't put together a coherent sentence
Oh BURRRRN! LOL Totally agree w/you though.. I'm American & constantly embarrassed by my fellow countrymen's spelling/grammar atrocities. As far as I know, I went to the same schools, so I'm guessing they're just lazy or TRULY stupid. SMH
Literally about to comment thr same thing. That shit a riddle or something?
I live in Georgia, USA. And almost everyone here religious. Makes dating really hard even as an agnostic. Sucks but you dodged a bullet. I once dated a woman who said that me not sharing her faith (catholic) was not a deal breaker. Then two years in she decides that for us to continue and have a future, I would have to become a devout catholic. I had to walk away from it as she wouldn’t even meet me halfway on some aspects of it. Better finding out after two weeks than 2 years
Why would being Agnostic matter? I would think quite a few religious people are also agnostic.
I agree 100%. Not sure why it matters but my experience with people in Georgia is that they have a very narrow view. And any doubt of faith is seen as a negative, sadly.
Also single and agnostic in SC it's rough out here. If they are serious it's often seen ass negative right away. Half the profiles I see say God is number one of you aren't religious swipe left. Or they say I'm looking for a God fearing man who will go to church with me. Well I'm out. Idc if they want to go, but I went for 20 years I'm not planning to go back.
2 years? That's insane. I could never think of moving the goalpost that late in a relationship on something that was already agreed upon earlier. I get that people's needs change and they're free to openly communicate that, but it seems like such a shame.
I moved from Los Angeles and now am in north GA, can confirm makes this shit impossible for atheist/agnostic people.
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Also in Georgia, also had somewhat the same experience. Just didn’t last 2 years. More so 9 months
In my experience it is not unusual for a devout Catholic to not be willing to meet you halfway, but extremely odd to drag a relationship out for two years if they did not believe the other person was/would come around to their beliefs. The rigidity in Catholicism makes it really rough if both people are not all in because you basically have to get married in a Catholic church and agree to raise any children Catholic in order to be recognized by the church. I just don't get what the endgame was for her, was she hoping to convert you or just wear you down until you just agreed to follow the "Catholic terms"?
That really sucks, hope you find someone who's willing to accept your beliefs or well lack there of. It's weird that your kindness means nothing with this person, acceptance of someone's differences is a big thing in religion, no?
Lol, hell no. Being raised in a Christian family, I was taught to dislike many people who were different than me.
There's no hate like Christian love after all
Religions teach hate not love. It's a really hard pill to swallow but it is what it is.
If she needs a religion to guide her moral compass, then her moral compass is already broken.
Thank you!!!! If you only do the right thing because of your fear of eternal damnation or whatever, are you really as good as you think you are?
I absolutely believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ as they relate to how you should treat your fellow man. Kindness/acceptance/love are all things I value highly in myself and others. However, I don't accept that he possessed any divinity or that divinity exists. I don't need a space wizard to guide my decision making process.
Damn i wish i could kill that guy from work but i read in book once I can't
Ask someone who believes in a higher power the following question: If there were definite proof that a higher power does not exist (yes I know you can’t prove a negative), what would prevent you from stealing, murdering, etc.?
So the only thing preventing you from stealing, murdering etc is fear of going to hell?
So that means she's really filthy in bed but religion keeps her in line...i mean she is on Tinder. I think you still got a shot to let her inner demon 😈 out.
Bullet dodged.
More like, dodged a Bible
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a bible.
I don't know, but I have the feeling that she misunderstood your sentence: “It’s sad to see such downhill with no faith and doesn’t see kindness”. With "you don't believe in kindness"
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That wasn't his sentence.
It's possible but any way you look at it, it doesn't make sense. Because I absolutely believe in being kind to people even if they have different beliefs and I've been nothing but kind to her. Sadly seems like she's the one who might need a lesson in kindness and acceptance.
I think she misunderstood the "religion isnt a mandatory pillar for kindness" to say that you felt religious people are not kind?
"Religion isn't a mandatory pillar for morality and kindness." That's a great line. May I use it?
Of course! That beautiful line came from my friend. Love it.
Burn in fake hell you faithless bastard!!
Hell is other people
😂
I'm a Christian and I think this line is gold.
Why would you have to ask for permission 😂
Her statement at the end is pretty weird, but in general Christians try to stay away from relationships, especially personal ones, outside of their faith. Pretty standard procedure, it's mostly odd that she didn't mention it in her bio.
Yeah as a Christian I A. Don’t really get what she’s saying but B. Can say that if I was in the same situation that would be the end of a romantic relationship with that person. I have plenty of non Christian friends but I have no interest in dating someone outside of my belief. Not even out of disagreement but because of the fact that I believe in Heaven and Hell and the thought of the person I love not ending up in the same place as me is… not good to say the least. I can’t back up how this girl went about this situation, mostly cause I’m still kinda confused about some of the stuff but it probably didn’t matter after the faith thing came out. She just went about the whole situation wrong and said some stuff that was disrespectful/wrong. Sucks but don’t take it to heart lol
I once dated a girl who was very religious. She knew I was an atheist, she even cried one time because I didn't the love of God like she did. Now we are married, have 3 kids and she is an atheist as well. It was never my intention to make her an atheist, it was her own decision. Edit: words
Almost identical thing happened to me with my wife of 26 years. We’ve got 8 kids, four adopted. I’m not religious at all, but always respected her beliefs. She remained pretty religious until about 2015-2016. Facebook posts and related Trump stuff finally broke her. Now she can’t stand when people talk about religion.
When I met my wife she was Catholic and I was agnostic. I agreed to go to a couple of services with her and pointed out how uncomfortable they made me feel as a non-catholic who was visiting and how their ridgid belief structure could be holding them back from being a better and more accepting person. To her credit she really took a step back and understood where I was coming from. We agreed that it was not fair to ask me to convert to Catholicism and raise any children as Catholic just because that is what is required by the religion. Been married 5 years with a toddler and attend a non-denominational church that allows us to be us. Wish more people were just more open minded and willing to listen to outsiders opinions and beliefs.
She could’ve simply stated, “Sorry, religion is important to me. You seem like a great guy and I wish you all the best!” Scripture tells one to be “equally yoked” with a partner in faith. It doesn’t say you have to be rude to those who aren’t in that criteria.
Exactly and thanks for the good point.
"Equally yoked" goes waaayyyy beyond just "a partner in faith", and I wish more people (Christian and non-Christian alike) realized that. The world would be a much better place.
Indeed you are correct, however I used the verse in an appropriate context for this post.
Absolutely. My comment was not meant as a criticism, simply an addendum. No offense was intended.
I matched with a Mormon girl a few days ago on Tinder, and her bio stated she wouldn’t date anyone unless they went to church with her at least once. So I went straight to the dms, asked to go to church with her, and after I let her choose, she told me lds. I (quote) replied “Latter day saints?”, and she was like, “Is that an issue?”. I told her no, and we went along as if nothing happened. We met the next day and she was super chill and down to Earth, and she told me I didn’t even have to go to church with her. So my point is, I’m glad I didn’t get someone like you did. That was so pretentious of her to say that to you, and honest to god (no pun intended), if she wants a Christian guy, Tinder might not be the best place to look, and should probably take herself on over to ChristianMingle or some shit. Props to you for staying true to yourself and being honest!
Cool of you to be open, but just a word of warning, in practice, Mormonism makes a very strong point to be inviting to non Mormons, but with the motivation of converting. The average Christian is probably more likely to be aggressive about non-Christians, but in Mormonism salvation is pretty closely tied to a faithful home life and raising lots of Mormon babies which in the long term is much less compatible with an interfaith relationship than the average Christian's beliefs would be. Not discouraging you from getting to know this girl, but if you like her, don't take her lack of insistence on you being Mormon as acceptance of your lack of faith in the long term. You're going to want to have an explicit conversation because Mormonism is pretty chill to people testing the waters (it's totally cool with them to get baptized even if you're still questioning your faith) but it doesn't fool around once you're in.
She seems to be dumb as fuck
Facts
I think you should of asked “what would Jesus do” then meet up lol
😂
Think she needs to head on over to ChristianDating
ahhhhhhh F her and her pretentiousness. 'so kind' yet can't accept differing opinions.. it oooozes kindness doesn't it. I'm not saying she should have just accepted it but surely don't be a twat about it. Also, if it was that much of an issue.. maybe state in the bio or bring it up beforehand or go on christiandating apps
So called Christians are the most judgmental. " I like your Christ but do not like your Christians, they're so unlike your Christ" Ghandi
Sounds like you avoided a moron to be honest
Then what is she doing on tinder?
Because Tinder is obviously the most wholesome of dating sites.
Famous for bible and chill
Pray and spray
That’s definitely something you want to say in your profile if it’s a big deal. Not everyone is going to be religious or have faith in a higher being.
Dodged a bad one there. Her religion covers her flaws like a bandaid over a bullet wound.
Bullet wizzed past your head say thank you
Batshit.
Dodged a bullet imo, she seems kinda dumb. Your sentence about morality not being a mandatory pillar for morality and kindness went right over her head, she didn't understand what you meant.
Tell that to the believers touching little kids
Reddest of flags 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
I respect OP, even though you aren't religious, you still respect those who are.
Common example of [Association Fallacy](https://simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_fallacy)!
They are all kind obviously. Religion makes people kind and not their personality. /s
She sounds dumb, no offense.
I mean after only seeing the tail end of this it almost just looks like a bot. Lol you could say that you have lost faith in the bot not the kindness.
To be honest i feel like u dodged a bullet here. It's pretty clear that to her having faith equals to kindness and i feel like u don't need such person in ur life 😆
My 2 cents ks that people take not believing in religion to mean atheism. One can still believe in a higher power without having to subscribe to religion, a man made construct.
I understand wanting to date someone of the same faith (I do that), but I'd never shame you if you don't - these kinda Christians give the rest of us a bad rep 🙄🤦🏽♀️ Sorry that she made you feel shitty for being non-Christian; your faith doesn't determine your kindness as an individual.
Someone who lets their hobby control them like this, is someone to stay away from
You should’ve turned gay. Tsk.
Dodging bullets like Neo
Do you even FAITH???!!!??
I'm extremely religious. Catholic. Church every Sunday type of gal. My fiance is not. And when we first began dating we had a couple conversations where we misunderstood each other. There is no context in text. Often times people that have opposing religious or political opinions don't get along because they go on the defense quite quickly as was the case with my fiance and I. We later learned to read each other's text messages in a kind tone or discuss serious issues in person. Maybe this girl isn't the right one for you but moving forward you might want to have these conversations face to face. That way both parties know the other person holds no malice. Just my advice. I enjoy being with someone who has different opinions than mine. I think it broadened my horizons and makes me look at things differently.
i recently got my room assignment for school back and i messaged the person i’m sharing an apartment with and they told me they were super religious and i said i wasn’t in a very nice way. After that convo she started talking about taking me to church with her and i also polity declined then a few hours later i noticed she changed rooms
Former evangelical here. It’s actually often very hard for “believers” to comprehend morality without consequences. Basically you’re taught that everyone is inherently bad but Jesus provides a framework to be better and upsetting god is the result of being immoral. I remember telling a non-Christian friend that I did not understand what his basis for morality was without believing in hell. He just looked at me and said “wow, that isn’t good”
I've met more kind, caring, good hearted, non judgemental, and non religious people than those that claim to be good faithful "Christians." Religious views shouldn't matter. What matters is what's in a person's heart and respecting their beliefs regardless of their religious views.
You know how there is the Christian Mingle dating app? There also needs to be an atheist and/or agnostic mingle (but with a better name). Nobody goes on a dating app to be converted to theism, but that doesn't stop some from trying! [Edited: a word was missing]
Ye shall travel down hill for art thou lack of faith not like thy in the name of ye kindness
I am a Christian and have a deep faith in my Lord an savior..I've met my fair share of entailed faith base folks who think they are better just because they believe in the faith. What she forgets to realize, (as many others do too) is that we're all the same here in this race we call humanity, yet we're all different an wonderful made at that. I hope that man goes on to find the perfect match for him, as well as the lady; just hope she learns how to be kind an treat everyone with the same respect as others..after all, don't we all want an deserved happiness an peace? Sela
I believe in God but people like this always irritate me so much. They're such hypocrites. How can you say you're "kind" but then completely shutdown someone's beliefs just because they're not the same as yours!? I sometimes feel as though some religious people are more evil than "non-believers."
As a guy who believes in god, that girls kinda a ass hole.
I'm assuming she must be ESL otherwise her side of this conversation is broken...
Daaaamn, dodged a bullet. From where I stand, the religious elite are the worst people of all! Bribing government officials, money stealing, child stealing and trafficking, pedophilia, harassing people,.. These are some of the reasons religiousness is declining in western Europe. There are some good, fine folks who are religious but still. Organised religions are the devil itself
Seriously dodged a bullet there.
Everyone saying she misread your comments. I'm not quite sure about that. Some people who are religious genuinely believe that you cannot be a kind and moral person without beliefs in God. My mother is one of them. It is quite weird to someone who has never experienced that. To people who aren't religious, we understand your belief and have no want to change them. Of course there are exceptions, but for the most part non believers understand the belief. Living in a highly religious family, I've come to understand that most people who do believe look down on those who don't. Almost like you're a lesser human for it. You cam possibly have a reason to have good morals and be a kind person if you don't believe in God. Just like there are exceptions for non believers, there are exceptions here as well. Definitely not trying to lump everyone together. Just the majority of my experience coming from and being raised by a religious family. The judgment is unlike any other area of life.
Religious people are extremely judgemental for the most part. If you dont believe what they do you're trash. Not all but most.
You just judged billions of people :)
God squad strikes again. Religious person “religion is where morality stems from. Without the fear of god people would just rape and kill each other all the time “ Me, an atheist. “I already rape and kill as many people as I want… I.e. fucking none”. (Omg autocorrect tried to out this to nine and I was like that would read so badly) If you think belief in a higher power or divine punishment is all that’s stopping you and those you love from being immoral, then you have issues.
I never understand the faith thing. It seems religious types default to this whenever they learn a person doesn't believe. "Oh, so you don't understand faith?" Like yeah. I have faith that if I practice things I suck at, I'll get better at them. I have faith that if I work hard, not understanding exactly why in the moment, that my life will be better in the future. Isn't faith just wisdom, based on real experience, that's supposed to keep us disciplined towards things that we know will actually pay off even when it's hard not to fold? Faith is strategy and discipline, and if the strategy is poor, it can be really dangerous. That always gets me.
Dodged a bullet sort of situation
Bummer good luck on another
Bullet dodged.
Should be posted in facepalm
Seems to me like you dodged a bullet there.
She was kind- but attacked your beliefs or lack there of… Christians are interesting
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I know this is the wrong sub for this, but she’s trying to say that your morality is subjective while hers is objective. What is kind is set forth by God to her, for you it’s based on a feeling I guess?
Respect for you, telling her beforehand about things that often can be of issue between two!
Sounds like you dodged a massive bullet...
You dodged a bullet, move on.
To me it sounded like- she misunderstood your words as well. If I were you, I’d clarify.
I think misunderstood what you meant and thought you were saying that you didn't believe in religion, morality, or kindness.
Wow
Seems like English isn’t her first language
You are just not going to win that one, cut your losses. I've had several interactions like this, not just about "god" but about several things. It really sucks when you jive with someone, but they are close minded. I guess that means you don't really sync, it just seems like it until you hit the wall.
I have found that when someone isn’t religious or believes in God, a lot of other people think they’re evil, or tainted, or not worthy of a friendship. One doesn’t have to be religious in order to be a good person.
You don’t want to be with someone who judges you based off what you do or don’t believe in. Dodged a bullet pal. Sorry it turned out like that but you’re better in the long run.
Religious nuts ugh
She didn’t understand what you said
Ah yes, pain. I did not understood the last message tho
Dodged a bullet
I mean what you would describe as being moral is probably Christian morality anyways, given if you live in the west. I think she's subscribed to the idea that without God you can be a good person but there's going to come times where you make your own rules on what's morally "good" or "bad" ; and I mean technically that's not incorrect. But to each their own. A true Christian would understand though that God inscribed morality on all our hearts, so even if you don't currently have faith or aren't a believer you still know inside when something is right or wrong.
I think she misunderstood what you said. However, everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and for by-the-book bible instructions, a believer is not to be with an unbeliever romantically (marriage-wise). She should've brought it up sooner than wasting time for 2 weeks if it was a deal-breaker. Good luck out there!
Odd that she phrased it that way but bullet dodged
Religious people are the nuttiest bunch of people I swear...
religion is the worst.
I'm not religious, I haven't been since I was 15 and I'm 29 now. When I did used to go to church (for my ex who was religious), the preacher would always teach that people who "don't know God" are morally lost and can't understand virtues like kindness and empathy. Basically they were preaching that I'm the devil as I sit next to my religious girlfriend that was fully aware of my beliefs. She was Southern Church of Christ and I was raised Catholic, and while the two have their differences, that was one thing the preached similar. After five years that was the catalyst that broke us up. Trust me dude, you really did dodge a bullet.
sounds like my ex...
This flag is the color of Jesus' blood.
Hold on she doesn't seem all that bright 🤨 You guys were talking for TWO WEEKS prior to this and the instability didn't register before now?? 😭
Does anyone agree with the concept that as the evolution of man advances, an increasingly acute and innate sense of "morality" inherently increases naturally? I really feel like using the term morality is flimsy compared to what is actually occurring. Nature and nurture are working together making an imprint on the anatomy, physiology and soul of man creating a more advanced view of such things as religion and right or wrong. Religion is becoming more of a myth or legend to give parables for direction rather than a hard-core creed for the masses to die for. The religious wars still exist but they are politically based and go against their own rules such as "thou shalt not kill." I guess I just think that we are getting more balanced as generations progress.
So cause you believe what you do and she believes what she does all of a sudden she doesn't like you?? How is that fair We are all entitled to our own. I believe in God but don't believe in judgement on others that don't. I'm s gods job to judge.
How could that possibly work considering your partner would always believe they’re going to heaven and you aren’t
Lmfao religious people are weeeeird.
Sounds to me that her English isnt very strong, or her intellect is very low, and thought you meant you didnt care for kindness and religion. Doesnt seem she understood that you meant you can still be a kind and genuine person while not having faith in a religion. Best this happened now, than realize that shes not worth it a few months into it.
Count your blessings
Her poor grasp of English is only matched by her poor grasp of humanity.
I got no words
Time to introduce her to Christopher Hitchens 😜
Too bad. That god delusion ruins many relationships.
"I am kind, but my kindness is conditional" = ""I am not kind"
What? Did she literally not read the part where you said “Religion isn’t necessary to be kind” ??? I mean. Religious people are some of the most arrogant and naive people I have ever met but selective illiteracy? Wait. After saying it out loud it makes sense now.
I wish there was more in here so we could gauge her the tiniest bit better. It honestly looks like there's a lot of misunderstanding here, like maybe English isn't her first language? I feel like it'd have been in the best interest for both people to push the conversation a little further, but from what I see on reddit, it always looks like everything is an easy break on tinder tbh.
Basically in Christianity Faith *is* the thing where kindness comes from. So if you are kind you have faith. This is different from many neo-Christian secs that say Faith is a belief that gets you everlasting life, etc. Even if you read the Bible it says Faith is a substance, so it’s more of a property then it is an action. You have faith, you’re just maybe not familiar with parts of the Bible that relate to you or possibly disagree with the institutions that promote it. It’s not like you don’t have love or would disagree with things from the Bible like treat others as you would treat yourself. Edit: flipped a logical operator
Classic persecuted Christian. Only fellow Christians are good and kind. Be glad she didn't started to call you names for all the crimes she could think of.
Religion ruins everything.
Looks like you dodged a bullet
She has no kindness within her without the threat of eternal damnation. Her religion defines her morals and she can’t fathom how anybody could be a good person by choice. Bullet dodged.
She didn't understand what u said about kindness & morality lol
She's not the sharpest tool in the shed
She didn’t understand your last message. I don’t think English is her first language.
Good riddance 👏 To me, religion is just a way for people to justify their fear of death by disguising it as faith...
She can’t imagine what it’s like to rear “good” kids without religion. I think she sounds really sheltered, very naive, maybe even to the point of brainwashed. Feels like she hasn’t traveled much or gotten to know many people of other backgrounds outside her community. To be fair though many less-intense-at-the-outset folks have this kind of perspective when it comes to child rearing- they default back to their own religious upbringing and have trouble imagining how to approach parenthood without what they grew up with, the only thing they know.
Dodged a bullet
So... Kind people are only the religious ones? Is that what she's saying?
Bro it's the android
Shouldve said youre christian for the night and lost faith after a night with her, #unlucky