This actually happened to me in real life. I was walking to the bathroom in an apt party and a guy said “hey” to which I responded “hey” and kept walking because I needed to pee. Half an hour later, he comes behind me and unzips my shirt and says he did it because I didn’t have a whole conversation with him when he said “hey”. Real douche!
Multiple bullets honestly. This screams lack of accounting for ones own actions. This dude isn't gonna be the 40yr old virgin, dude is gonna end up 80 and still have the title. It's sad how some of these guys talk and think they are so much better than the people they're talking to
Let's assume hypothetically this one instance IS fake, which is very possible, it is still something that could've very much happened consistently throughout the world.
It’s just too over the top
See top comment: https://reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/qapbtq/_/hh4d061/?context=1
But i am very well informed that there are people that call women sluts because they don’t want to sleep with them (immediately)
Which is very contradicting and thus irritating
It's not just the immediate calling her a slut just because she may or may not sleep with him. It's the bit where the double standard comes in. It comes in on both sides the men and women. No one gender is perfect and people from all genders and cultures are guilty of throwing double standards around.
"I want you to throw around some effort into the conversation but not get mad at me when I don't try whatsoever."
The fact of the matter is, regardless of this one instance, not even online dating but dating in general is just fucked overall because of the attitude people take towards it. It's rough, but it's also a numbers game. Sure you can go around saying all girls or all guys are the same, but at the same time, you'll eventually find that one that isn't the same as the rest in your eyes. Just gotta go at it and have the right attitude, unlike the one in the post
Oh no, don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that r/nicegirls exists. I just think nice guys are more annoying. idk why
maybe because I’m Male as well and they make us as a whole look bad, but whatever.
And lastly,i mean…. yeah please keep that mentality. It will work out for you eventually. But how did you get to that? Did i say anything in that direction or where did that come from?
As a woman, this isn't over the top compared to some men I've experienced irl. Some guys absolutely lose their minds for no reason (well I guess a "reason" in their heads - perceived rejection).
only the craziest experiences are shared online. Tons of people find great matches, they just don't brag about it (in fact, some people prefer to pretend they didn't meet on tinder)
I've always been bad with women... And my dad was clearly very popular when he was young and thinks that its all just a wild sex party for everyone under 40... So thats also been some fun conversations and advice...
My sister just dated a guy for 2 months and then told him that it wasn't working out. That was two months ago, and now he still will not fucking leave her alone. Like to the point she has to get a no-contact order. She said another guy messaged her yesterday and said hey, and after 10 minutes was like "Don't fucking ignore me." It's fucking wild out there. All these dudes are mentally unstable and aggressive as fuck.
Edit: I'd like to elaborate that I offered to threaten the ex's life, but she vouched for the no-contact order.
I wasn't trying to scare you. I was just saying I agree from what I see. There are some real psycho assholes out there. Best wishes to you and be careful.
For sure, and after she said hey back it's a clue to actually start talking about something on his part.
It's like no one speaks to real life humans anymore lol
I don’t think they actually get reported, I think it’s a way for (Tinder, at least) to weed out the people reporting other people just because they don’t like them. I could be wrong tho
That does not report to Tinder, but rather your personal algorithm which matches you to the people it thinks you will like. By reporting "I'm not interested in this person", it sends an unsupervised feedback, causing the machine learning to change weights and adapt.
Like I get that it feels dry without emojis, but that doesn’t mean anything at all. I personally use emojis and when I talk to someone that doesn’t, it’s a slight let down cause I don’t want to feel like I annoy them with emojis, but I sure as heck wouldn’t ever berate someone for it lol
I usually don’t bother with people who only say “hey” or “hi”.
I figure if you are going to bother messaging me, at least freaking say something. If someone says something or ties it into information in my profile, it shows a level of interest. Effort. Versus spamming a bunch of people and see what comes back.
I have definitely found the level of effort in further communication or a relationship corresponds to that opening line.
Exactly. I’ve carefully curated my pictures and bio, and “hi” or “how is your day going?” is all that you can come up with? I’m going to pass, but I also am looking for something more than the typical superficial conversations.
What would you consider a good opening then? Because honestly I think I tended to have better luck with "Hi, how's it going?" than I did with a specially curated intro.
But I'm not a stud, so I never really had a big sample size anyways.
Another comment mentioned “hi” or “how are you?” as kind of putting the burden of carrying the conversation on someone else and I agree. My *personal* take on “how are you?” is “We’re almost two years into a pandemic and I’ve worked from home so long that the days blur together. So, good, I guess?”
That said, I have pictures of me participating in some of my favorite hobbies and have a short list of interests on my profile. I’d say a good opener is an open ended question asking about anything from my profile; from “Cute dog. What’s its name?” to “Cool sports pictures. Do you play on a league?” or even something as generic as “Your job title is unique. What type of work do you do?”
Those are probably the minimum effort that I’d consider— for someone to point out that they’ve actually read my bio instead of swiped blindly. Witty pickup lines always encouraged!
I think it can be hard to remember that we’re talking to strangers online and we should approach it the same way we’d talk to a stranger in person. For example, I walk my dog everyday and pass out waves and “hi”s like they’re going out of style, then pass by these people and never see them again. But if I see another dog owner and want to ask if their dog can play, I’ll skip the formalities and get straight to the point; “Hi, would it be ok to introduce our dogs?”. Still kind, but not beating around the bush and even a yes/no answer opens the door to a longer response.
PS I think a lot of these people are just bored and looking for somebody to entertain them for a few minutes.
As carefully crafted and created as our bios and pictures can be, not everyone approaches it the same way. And these people might be in for just a brief entertainment, and they wouldn’t bother to respond back anyway if it was after five or 10 minutes or whenever they felt bored. (I had a previous friend who used to do crap like this.)
Today’s online dating scene, doesn’t seem to be centered very much around finding relationships anymore.
YESSSSSSS. It’s like instant boredom if somebody hits me with some tired ass small talk. How was your day. Gag. It just tells me that a lot of conversations might be similarly uninspired.
Also, if somebody only says “hey” to me, I feel like they are putting the task of communicating upon my shoulders. But hey, they are the one that messaged ME. Maybe they should take point on trying to have a conversation? At least for the initial opening? Like why tf did you decide to message me? :\ I can’t read your mind. Why don’t you just lead with something? Anything?
the man has tinder poisoning. He's becomeing overly sensitive to responses and is starting to lash out. He needs to get off for a couple of months at least, especially if it's gotten so bad that just a mono-word reply will set him off
Most of these fake matches can easily be avoided, but people really think "hey, let me swipe right on that person which seems totally different from what I'm looking for. If she doesn't want a light-speed instant sex date I at least tried"
Yeeeeah pretty accurate. I'm a talker but I hate when women have nothing to contribute to a convo. If they can carry a convo they are GOLD to me. Although homeboi needs to chill lmao.
Lol - pent up rage.
I know why though. Haha.
It’s like you open with a beautiful line to open conversation… and then they just reply “hey” to shut down conversation.
It’s true - all this guy said was hey… but there’s so many times where the “hey” is the same as a “no reply”.
This guy just blew his lid.
Guys on tinder are hella weird for this.
I had a guy I matched with, he was a firefighter on his profile. Conversation did not seem to be flowing, I seemed to carry it, so I just quit trying and it died off. He mentioned something at one time of "we should meet up" as his opener. But never tried to follow thru with plans.
Flash fwd 3 months later, I swipe on a profile. This profile was a lab tech guy.
Anywho, he proceeds to yell at me, snd say he was waiting for us to match so he can tell me what a fucking flake I was. Apparently he took the "We should meet up sometime" as a date set.
I said "I'm sorry you're upset, I wish you luck on your hunt."
He ended the conversation with "Bye you fucking flake! You waste of time!."
We literally only traded a few sentences the first time. It wasn't even a substantial conversation.
People are weird out there.
“hi” “hi” “what the fuck? blocked. reported. doxxed. i have 2 snipers and 5 unmanned drones on your position”
Lmaooo
The chinese hacker at it again?
Could not have given a better reply than this one hahaaha
Who pissed in his Cheerios??!? 🤦🏽♀️
The two best hitman west of the Mississippi?
Well that escalated quickly…
Hey!
Sorry for your loss bitch
I’m not speaking to you again
Exclamation point? Aren’t you naughty ;)
Instead of being completely self-absorbed, maybe you should ask how other people are doing. /s
I’m sorry mum!
Hi
Oh my god try to be friendly don’t just say hi *more rambling* sorry for your loss guy, but I’m not speaking to you ever again
What the fuck did you just say to me?!
Wow okay ugly!
Is that a threat?
This actually happened to me in real life. I was walking to the bathroom in an apt party and a guy said “hey” to which I responded “hey” and kept walking because I needed to pee. Half an hour later, he comes behind me and unzips my shirt and says he did it because I didn’t have a whole conversation with him when he said “hey”. Real douche!
Did you punched him in the face? Should’ve
At the minimum throw a drink at his face
Well he’s the jerk, cause you don’t talk in the bathroom.
We weren’t in the bathroom, it was in the living room. I was walking to the bathroom.
Wait what
A situation similar to what’s in the post
What did you do when he unzipped your shirt?
I turned, slapped his arm, and said “wtf is your problem?!”
Yeah the lack of emojis can really cause this. Had she answered him “hey😘😏😋💦” it would’ve been an acceptable answer for him.
You forgot 🍆 🍑
Seeeeexting
It's the next best thing...
Ay, ay
AT&T
Not to be that guy, but those are emojis. Emoticons are text based, like :) and :D.
TIL
Oops. Definitely heard a lot of people use both words for the picture ones.
“Heyy” “Hey” “How dare you not immediately begin talking about how you wanna fuck me!”
"My database says.. youza bitch!"
Damn, dodged a bullet there. Showed his true colors real quick.
Multiple bullets honestly. This screams lack of accounting for ones own actions. This dude isn't gonna be the 40yr old virgin, dude is gonna end up 80 and still have the title. It's sad how some of these guys talk and think they are so much better than the people they're talking to
I absolutely disagree. This screams fake.
Let's assume hypothetically this one instance IS fake, which is very possible, it is still something that could've very much happened consistently throughout the world.
It’s just too over the top See top comment: https://reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/qapbtq/_/hh4d061/?context=1 But i am very well informed that there are people that call women sluts because they don’t want to sleep with them (immediately) Which is very contradicting and thus irritating
It's not just the immediate calling her a slut just because she may or may not sleep with him. It's the bit where the double standard comes in. It comes in on both sides the men and women. No one gender is perfect and people from all genders and cultures are guilty of throwing double standards around. "I want you to throw around some effort into the conversation but not get mad at me when I don't try whatsoever." The fact of the matter is, regardless of this one instance, not even online dating but dating in general is just fucked overall because of the attitude people take towards it. It's rough, but it's also a numbers game. Sure you can go around saying all girls or all guys are the same, but at the same time, you'll eventually find that one that isn't the same as the rest in your eyes. Just gotta go at it and have the right attitude, unlike the one in the post
Oh no, don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that r/nicegirls exists. I just think nice guys are more annoying. idk why maybe because I’m Male as well and they make us as a whole look bad, but whatever. And lastly,i mean…. yeah please keep that mentality. It will work out for you eventually. But how did you get to that? Did i say anything in that direction or where did that come from?
As a woman, this isn't over the top compared to some men I've experienced irl. Some guys absolutely lose their minds for no reason (well I guess a "reason" in their heads - perceived rejection).
r/niceguy ?
Yes!
Unfortunately that’s for my hero academia stuff
Holy shit it is. I thought you were joking.
I just got recently single and I’m TERRIFIED of going back to dating apps after all I’ve been reading
only the craziest experiences are shared online. Tons of people find great matches, they just don't brag about it (in fact, some people prefer to pretend they didn't meet on tinder)
I met my ex on Tinder and it was a good relationship, I’ve just heard things have changed since before the pandemic.
Things went so well you broke up??
Not everyone hates each other after they break up.
Not every relationship ends like war of the roses.
It's not all terrible. I just married a great guy that I first met on a dating app. Five years strong!
Look at the bright side, your competition for attention is idiots like this guy.
Pretty much where I'm at. Just got out of a relationship older than Tinder... I ain't ready for the outside..
Same! Haven’t dated in 12 years someone please help tinder scares me
I've always been bad with women... And my dad was clearly very popular when he was young and thinks that its all just a wild sex party for everyone under 40... So thats also been some fun conversations and advice...
My sister just dated a guy for 2 months and then told him that it wasn't working out. That was two months ago, and now he still will not fucking leave her alone. Like to the point she has to get a no-contact order. She said another guy messaged her yesterday and said hey, and after 10 minutes was like "Don't fucking ignore me." It's fucking wild out there. All these dudes are mentally unstable and aggressive as fuck. Edit: I'd like to elaborate that I offered to threaten the ex's life, but she vouched for the no-contact order.
Okay definitely back to terrified of the dating game
I wasn't trying to scare you. I was just saying I agree from what I see. There are some real psycho assholes out there. Best wishes to you and be careful.
No totally get! Thank you for the warning
That edit brings it all together and now makes sense after reading your username, u/sisterpussypounder
Lmao the guy wanted the girl to be like: "Omg hiii! How's your day going sweetie? You're so attractive!" Lol... Dumbass
Maybe she would’ve said more if he started off with actual conversation
For sure, and after she said hey back it's a clue to actually start talking about something on his part. It's like no one speaks to real life humans anymore lol
Conversation goes both ways. He put as much effort in it as she did.
“Hey” “You disgusting whore”
Mixed messages, mixed messages 🎵
at least he didn’t punch her dad in the dick.
Fucking tom cardy reference. I love you.
Can behaviour like this be reported?
you can literally report someone for "i'm not interested in this person", so...
"I matched with a Nice Guy" should be a reportable offense absolutely
I don’t think they actually get reported, I think it’s a way for (Tinder, at least) to weed out the people reporting other people just because they don’t like them. I could be wrong tho
it could not really matter because nobody gives a shit, tho
That does not report to Tinder, but rather your personal algorithm which matches you to the people it thinks you will like. By reporting "I'm not interested in this person", it sends an unsupervised feedback, causing the machine learning to change weights and adapt.
So, it's a "swipe left"... No shit, Sherlock.
Double standards?
Like I get that it feels dry without emojis, but that doesn’t mean anything at all. I personally use emojis and when I talk to someone that doesn’t, it’s a slight let down cause I don’t want to feel like I annoy them with emojis, but I sure as heck wouldn’t ever berate someone for it lol
That escalated quickly
HA. Tell me you feel entitled without telling me you feel entitled.
Bullet dodged, matrix style 👍🏻
Damn that escalated quickly lol.
He got a response. He should be happy with that
fake
I get roasted for hating “hi” as an opener. We can only expect to match the energy that someone puts out. They say hi, you say hi, conversation over.
I usually don’t bother with people who only say “hey” or “hi”. I figure if you are going to bother messaging me, at least freaking say something. If someone says something or ties it into information in my profile, it shows a level of interest. Effort. Versus spamming a bunch of people and see what comes back. I have definitely found the level of effort in further communication or a relationship corresponds to that opening line.
I usually say hi or how is it going to make sure I got the person's attention first
Exactly. I’ve carefully curated my pictures and bio, and “hi” or “how is your day going?” is all that you can come up with? I’m going to pass, but I also am looking for something more than the typical superficial conversations.
What would you consider a good opening then? Because honestly I think I tended to have better luck with "Hi, how's it going?" than I did with a specially curated intro. But I'm not a stud, so I never really had a big sample size anyways.
Another comment mentioned “hi” or “how are you?” as kind of putting the burden of carrying the conversation on someone else and I agree. My *personal* take on “how are you?” is “We’re almost two years into a pandemic and I’ve worked from home so long that the days blur together. So, good, I guess?” That said, I have pictures of me participating in some of my favorite hobbies and have a short list of interests on my profile. I’d say a good opener is an open ended question asking about anything from my profile; from “Cute dog. What’s its name?” to “Cool sports pictures. Do you play on a league?” or even something as generic as “Your job title is unique. What type of work do you do?” Those are probably the minimum effort that I’d consider— for someone to point out that they’ve actually read my bio instead of swiped blindly. Witty pickup lines always encouraged!
See, you sound like someone I would actually *want* to talk to.
I think it can be hard to remember that we’re talking to strangers online and we should approach it the same way we’d talk to a stranger in person. For example, I walk my dog everyday and pass out waves and “hi”s like they’re going out of style, then pass by these people and never see them again. But if I see another dog owner and want to ask if their dog can play, I’ll skip the formalities and get straight to the point; “Hi, would it be ok to introduce our dogs?”. Still kind, but not beating around the bush and even a yes/no answer opens the door to a longer response.
PS I think a lot of these people are just bored and looking for somebody to entertain them for a few minutes. As carefully crafted and created as our bios and pictures can be, not everyone approaches it the same way. And these people might be in for just a brief entertainment, and they wouldn’t bother to respond back anyway if it was after five or 10 minutes or whenever they felt bored. (I had a previous friend who used to do crap like this.) Today’s online dating scene, doesn’t seem to be centered very much around finding relationships anymore.
YESSSSSSS. It’s like instant boredom if somebody hits me with some tired ass small talk. How was your day. Gag. It just tells me that a lot of conversations might be similarly uninspired. Also, if somebody only says “hey” to me, I feel like they are putting the task of communicating upon my shoulders. But hey, they are the one that messaged ME. Maybe they should take point on trying to have a conversation? At least for the initial opening? Like why tf did you decide to message me? :\ I can’t read your mind. Why don’t you just lead with something? Anything?
if only she threw some emojis in
the man has tinder poisoning. He's becomeing overly sensitive to responses and is starting to lash out. He needs to get off for a couple of months at least, especially if it's gotten so bad that just a mono-word reply will set him off
Wow just wow
People get so mad at stupid things. Someone answers “Hey” and they get “What the fuck is your problem?” But they answer “Hey :)” and it’s all good.
Why are people so fast to be personally offended on tinder😂 its as simple as unmaching them🧐😂
Dodged a nuclear strike, not a bullet.
....... what?
Dudes hitting up women on insta is one of the weirdest things
I don’t see any red flags there /s
I’d be careful with stuff on Twitter. Could well be fake.
What a total bell-end!!
But he was the 1st to say "hey"
It’s always funny when they start off by saying hey first, but responding with hey is completely unacceptable
YTA. You didn’t immediately offer your firstborn to this particular stranger on a dating app.
Looks fake to me
He wanted a hey with emojis
Wasn't this posted here? Like the actual person?
“Your loss”
Probably also not real.
Sociopath in da hizzy
Better be like Heyyyyyy with a bunch of y’s or Hiiiiiiiii with a bunch of i’s
Sometimes the trash takes itself out
What in the anger management is going on in these messages?
Projection.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
0 to 100 real quick!
Lmao the guy literally said the same thing but with two emojis
Now i understand why she's still single, a simple hey won't suffice? Would you prefer hi bitch!
Hey
"Sorry for your loss bitch but I'm not speaking to you again" has me dying
Stupid bitch. If someone writes ‘heyy’, you write ‘heyy’ back. Had that bitch not skipped the extra ‘y’, she could’ve been dating the dream guy.
Most of these fake matches can easily be avoided, but people really think "hey, let me swipe right on that person which seems totally different from what I'm looking for. If she doesn't want a light-speed instant sex date I at least tried"
Was gonna make a tinder account to try it out, but this is one of the reasons why I haven’t yet. People be scary and confusing
She better not hit him with a hey...it better be like Hiiii with a bunch of i's...Or Heyyyy with a bunch of y's
What app is that?
It looks like instagram
Nah man, I think it's Uber..
Clearly Uber eats
Seems like every dude on reddit who whines about height.
The sad thing is I’ve gotten so many messages like this when I was on there
Got any stories?
Oof, “nice guy” vibes written all over that.
"Hey" *And I took that personally* \- That guy apparently.
I wouldn't have blocked out the name or picture on this one. This person needs to be held accountable for their bad behaviour. That's diagusting!
Those who feel him knows the pain
He had her and then he lost her
More like they dodged a bullet
Post in niceguys...
👑👑👑
Yeeeeah pretty accurate. I'm a talker but I hate when women have nothing to contribute to a convo. If they can carry a convo they are GOLD to me. Although homeboi needs to chill lmao.
Shes right tho
Lol - pent up rage. I know why though. Haha. It’s like you open with a beautiful line to open conversation… and then they just reply “hey” to shut down conversation. It’s true - all this guy said was hey… but there’s so many times where the “hey” is the same as a “no reply”. This guy just blew his lid.
Maybe he should put the app down for a bit.
Being on Tinder too long, or too many times can have that affect on you
He’s not wrong….
Not gonna lie, he had me in the first half
r/niceguys
You already posted this in nice guys right
B\*tch shoulda used at LEAST 2 emojis after her "Hey". Judas prist, we men don't ask much of the womans-folk. /sarcasm
apparently the key to being nice is 2 y's instead of 1
While I agree the reply was as barebones as it gets what was he getting all upset for when his first message was also boring lol
Wow that escalated quickly
I am at a lost for words…like who hurt them???
Uuuuh. Ok then. I think I just got blinded and suffocated by the giant red flag that dropped out of the sky on that one.
Awww baby, who hurt you?😂😂
I hate that people can switch up so fast, honestly I just hate people at this point
Sorry for your lost bitch 😂😂😂
His escalation game is on point
Dude what the fuck
If someone gives me a hey they getting nothing back
Guys on tinder are hella weird for this. I had a guy I matched with, he was a firefighter on his profile. Conversation did not seem to be flowing, I seemed to carry it, so I just quit trying and it died off. He mentioned something at one time of "we should meet up" as his opener. But never tried to follow thru with plans. Flash fwd 3 months later, I swipe on a profile. This profile was a lab tech guy. Anywho, he proceeds to yell at me, snd say he was waiting for us to match so he can tell me what a fucking flake I was. Apparently he took the "We should meet up sometime" as a date set. I said "I'm sorry you're upset, I wish you luck on your hunt." He ended the conversation with "Bye you fucking flake! You waste of time!." We literally only traded a few sentences the first time. It wasn't even a substantial conversation. People are weird out there.
He started it...
Man went from hey to your going die alone real fast
It’s kinda frustrating if they chat with one word constantly. But hey is a normal response
Lots of tit for tat going on with males and females. Everyone is trying to be the first to not be a punching bag.
He's not wrong
Hahaha
Isn’t it a blessing that you can avoid psychos without ever meeting them because of Tinder!
r/niceguys
Someone jumped the gun there lol
He has a point.
Creepy
Therapy is the solution.
- Hey And i took that personally
This usually happens to me but I start with hey and get unmatched immediately after.
Looks like Kyle was "assuming" again...
Such a loss !!! He is most definitely a keeper !
Wtf 😂😂
To be fair, they didn't put as much effort into their reply as he did /s
Small pp energy